[Westheim]

You never have quite the feeling that it gets hectic in Portland, or … or things change. You know. The Raccoons constantly suck, and suck pretty hard. And we start pretty much every week now with a banishment or with DL’ing another slightly productive player. (While I wouldn’t call Neil Reece *slightly* productive, he has had less than 60 AB’s this year…)

Mad stat: Neil Reece has not played in more than 14 of our 54 games this year. He has managed 0.6 WAR in these 14 games – in which the Raccoons played .500 baseball, and if you exclude the two games he left hurt in their early stages, they have played .583 ball in his games – which would have meant he was playing on a pace to achieve somewhere between 6 and 7 WAR for the year. OF ALL THE OTHER TURDS on the roster, only THREE batters have managed a higher WAR (plus two pitchers), despite playing in thrice as many, or even more games, as Neil Reece. These players are, sorted by WAR: Randy Farley (2.0), Concie Guerin (1.4), Marvin Ingall (1.2), Clyde Brady (0.9), and Ralph Ford (0.7). Why don’t we just shoot the rest?

Well, for starters, we DL’ed Daniel Richardson for the month, and re-added Jason Kent. We also sent down Dan Epps, and recalled Bob Joly. By the way, nobody claimed the $750k wreck Jose Rivera, about whose WAR we will not talk in public, and he was assigned to St. Pete. Y’know, $750k buys a very good sports car, and if you drive that off the cliff……

Raccoons (21-33) @ Indians (23-34) – June 6-8, 2000

The Indians were either riddled with horrible luck or were throwing games intentionally. They were 7th in runs scored, and 8th in runs allowed, with a -19 differential. How do you manage to be 11 under .500 with a -19 run differential!? I had no clue. We had split a 4-set very early in the season, and if the Raccoons managed to win this series, we’d jump up to FIFTH place in the division.

And the jokes will only get better from here – promised.

Projected starters:
Randy Farley (5-3, 2.89 ERA) vs. Steve Holcomb (3-6, 4.78 ERA)
Miguel Lopez (2-7, 5.56 ERA) vs. Chang-se Park (6-6, 2.08 ERA)
Bob Joly (1-1, 1.74 ERA) vs. Manuel Alba (3-5, 4.15 ERA)

All right-handers, and we might see three more right-handers on the weekend. You know, just when all the left-handed bats have dropped to the side…

Game 1
POR: 2B Ingall – RF Brady – 1B Martin – 3B Gonzalez – LF Parker – C Jackson – SS Guerin – CF Newton – P Farley
IND: SS Matthews – RF Alston – 1B M. Brown – LF D. Lopez – C Paraz – 2B J. Garcia – 3B Whaley – CF Maguey – P Holcomb

If not for a wild pitch by Holcomb, who alternated wild and deadly innings in a start that lasted only six outings despite him only surrendering one run – THAT one run – the Raccoons hadn’t scored at all early in the contest. Their batting was mostly pathetic, with only Parker plating another run, in the eighth, and they left the bags loaded twice, once with Farley, and once when Andresen hit for Parker against lefty Arthur Joplin in the ninth. Farley had pitched not 100% dominant, but extremely controlled shutout ball at a quick pace the entire game. The biggest scare resulted from his own throwing error in the fifth inning. There was no way he was not pitching the ninth, although Donis’ eyes were begging. Nope, this is Randy’s. 2-hit, there was no way the Indians were coming back. Jamal Chevalier grounded out to Andresen, who remained in the game at third base. So did Adrian Matthews. That brought up Jose Valdez, who hit a soft single to right. Okay. Mound conference, but Randy was not going to give up the ball without a fight. Then he walked Brown. Oh ****. Next was Lopez. He was matching Lopez’ bat, so it was pointless to bring Donis *now*, since Lopez would counter him. Randy’s 2-0 pitch was taken high and deep to left. Jason Kent wasn’t gonna get it, but he got a very favorable bounce off the wall for a quick throw. The Indians sent Brown, the tying run, around third. Guerin’s relay to Freddy Jackson, who launched himself at the sliding Brown, and he is … --- OUT!!! 2-1 Raccoons. Martin 2-4; Parker 2-4, 2B, RBI; Guerin 2-4, 2B; Parker 9.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, W (6-3);

Like I said. Th-There was n-no way the Ind-Indians were going to c-come b-ba-back. (shivers)

Game 2
POR: 2B Ingall – 1B Martin – RF Brady – 3B Gonzalez – C Mata – LF Parker – SS Guerin – CF Kent – P M. Lopez
IND: SS Matthews – RF Alston – C Cicalina – 1B D. Lopez – LF Quintela – 3B Whaley – 2B Chevalier – CF Maguey – P Park

For a while it seemed like Miguel Lopez would actually pitch a decent ball game and the Raccoons would be in the race to claim the game as a whole. While Lopez allowed an Adrian Matthews homer in the third inning to fall 1-0 behind, and the Coons were doing absolutely nothing against Park, it was still only a 1-0 game. Then came the bottom 5th, Lopez was completely destroyed and the Indians moved out to a 5-0 lead, including another homer by Matthews. The Indians also destroyed Daniel Miller for good on the way to a crushing victory, while Chang-se Park pitched a 3-hitter. 8-0 Indians.

If Daniel Miller wasn’t out of options, I would demote him now. But I am a little bit less certain that he would go unclaimed as I had been with Rivera.

Also, his stuff is great. He throws 98. But … it just doesn’t work out for him anymore. We will watch this a little bit longer, for the rest of the month maybe. If it doesn’t get better than his Tamburrino-esque 7.40 ERA soon, however, he has to go. It would kill me, perhaps, but … plus, he is a free agent this fall. At this point, we would not re-sign him anyway.

Game 3
POR: SS Guerin – 2B Ingall – 1B Martin – RF Brady – C Mata – LF Parker – 3B Andresen – CF Newton – P Joly
IND: SS Matthews – 3B Whaley – 1B M. Brown – LF D. Lopez – C Paraz – 2B J. Garcia – RF Quintela – CF J. Valdez – P Alba

Both teams were scoring early. While the Indians took Joly out for a run in the first, and in the third, the Raccoons were up 4-2 after four due some unusual clutch hitting by Ingall in the third (2-run double) and Guerin in the fourth (2-out RBI single). All seemed well with Joly until the seventh rolled around. Matthews hit a single, and then Brown’s grounder to third was not converted by Andresen, putting runners on the corners. David Lopez reached 50 RBI for the year – with the Raccoons fielding nobody with more than 26 (Brady) – with a booming moonshot to left, which gave the Indians a 5-4 lead. Although Diaz replaced Joly instantly and walked a pair, the Raccoons somehow wiggled out when Quintela grounded out against Miller. Ingall led off the eighth with a double off Iemitsu Rin, who then walked Martin, and Brady grounded to right to load them up for Mata. The youngster struck out, and if not for a passed ball on Urbano Cicalina, the Raccoons would not have scored, since Jackson whiffed in place of Parker, and Andresen flew out. Now, Cesar Gonzalez entered in the #9 slot and drew a 1-out walk in the ninth. When Guerin doubled to deep left, he ran, ran, ran, and was barely safe across home. The Raccoons had a lead, and now was Donis’ time to shine. In a quirky move, once he had surrendered Whaley and Brown, Lopez was walked intentionally to pitch to Cicalina. And it COULD have worked out. But the third pitch hit the catcher, and the Raccoons went down in flames – a familiar appearance by now – with singles by Ron Alston and Carlos Quintela. 7-6 Indians. Guerin 3-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Ingall 2-4, BB, 2 2B, 2 RBI;

I …

I can’t find words.

Raccoons (22-35) vs. Blue Sox (30-29) – June 9-11, 2000

Despite playing over .500 by the slimmest of margins, the Blue Sox held a share of the lead (with the Buffaloes) in an incredibly poor FL East. All other teams in there were at least four below .500, and it wasn’t just a strong FL West, but a strong Continental League, which at this point had taken more than dozen games away from the Federal League in just the first session of interleague play.

The Blue Sox were posting a mostly .500 record, while playing average baseball, with a +11 run differential, a 6th-ranked offense, and 4th-ranked pitching staff. Their bullpen had a worse ERA than their starters, so maybe if we got those out early …?

Projected starters:
Ralph Ford (2-6, 4.30 ERA) vs. Dennis Fried (5-4, 5.63 ERA)
Scott Wade (2-5, 5.37 ERA) vs. Jim McDowell (0-0)
Randy Farley (6-3, 2.66 ERA) vs. Javier Cruz (3-3, 3.66 ERA)

That’s another three right-handers. McDowell, 31, will make his first career start. He had three relief appearances with the Bayhawks in the mid-90s. Meanwhile I would start a guy out of position for the first time in ages. I can’t even remember the last time it happened. But between Gonzalez, Andresen, and Caddock I can’t even break even in WAR terms at third base. Is it time to fire Andresen, trade Gonzalez for a bag of baseballs, and call up Mike Crowe? Is it THAT far??

Game 1
NAS: LF F. Jones – SS Townsley – 3B Catalo – 1B R. Vargas – CF Hensley – 2B P. Edralín – RF J. Douglas – C F. Hernandez – P Fried
POR: SS Guerin – 2B Ingall – 1B Martin – RF Brady – C Mata – 3B Michel – LF Parker – CF Newton – P Ford

Ralphie didn’t cut it. The first three batters hit singles off him, and the former Warrior John Hensley doubled them all home in the top 1st. Ford got booked for two more runs in the sixth. Both him and Fried had struck out six through five innings, but it was the ex-Coon who wasn’t defeated right out of the gate. Fried, whom we gave up for a bag of bagels almost ten years ago, humiliated the Raccoons on their own field, and allowed two meager hits through eight innings. The horrible Blue Sox pen almost made a mockery out of the contest in the ninth, but the Raccoons were too terrible to even take advantage of a balk, a wild pitch, and fastballs belt-high down the middle. 5-1 Blue Sox. Ingall 2-4, RBI; Fairchild 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K;

At this pace, we might have the worst record in the league by the end of the week. Yay!

Game 2
NAS: RF F. Jones – C F. Hernandez – 3B Catalo – CF Hensley – 1B R. Vargas – 2B P. Edralín – LF Madrid – SS Burgos – P McDowell
POR: SS Guerin – 2B Ingall – 1B Michel – RF Brady – C Jackson – 3B Gonzalez – LF Parker – CF Kent – P Wade

This was Scott Wade’s 400th career start (his 500th game is due up later this month unless he’s struck by lightning) Bottom 1st. Debutee McDowell, barely past 30, loaded the bags with one out. Jackson struck out, Gonzalez struck out. Gonzalez would then hand the lead to the Blue Sox in the third, throwing McDowell’s bunt into the stands to award home to Alberto Burgos on second base. The Raccoons showed allrounder qualities in terms of ineptness once again. Although McDowell pitched a shoddy game and walked five, they were unable to bowl him over. Or even scratch him. It wasn’t until the seventh, that a walk to Jason Kent, who was then bunted to second by Wade, led to the tying run when Guerin rammed a triple into the right center gap. Nothing would we endorse more than an Ingall single with two down, but he grounded out. Wade pitched nine innings in 120 pitches, sitting down for good (and better or worse) with a tied score. The Coons however, had the bottom of the order up in the ninth, starting with Gonzalez. Of course, Gonzalez walked against Jose Escobar. Parker grounded into a force at second, after which Mata was broken out to hit for Kent against the left-hander Jose Escobar, who was delivering this inning. Mata was also the last batter in the inning, as he grounded wonderfully to short, and the band played on. Martinez failed to retire anybody in the 10th, Meeks walked a run in, too, and the band was done for the night. 3-1 Blue Sox. Ingall 2-5, 2 2B; Wade 9.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 0 BB, 3 K;

Game 3
NAS: RF F. Jones – LF J. Douglas – CF Hensley – 1B R. Vargas – 2B P. Edralín – C F. Hernandez – 3B Burgos – SS Townsley – P J. Cruz
POR: SS Guerin – 2B Ingall – 1B Michel – RF Brady – C Mata – LF Parker – 3B Gonzalez – CF Kent – P Farley

An awful Farley was ruthlessly torn apart by the Blue Sox with seven runs in four innings, all scored with two out and by various means, against none of which a helpless Randyboy, who walked four, had any recipe. Seven runs through four of course meant a lead of seven runs for the Blue Sox and a lost game, no matter who was pitching or – or for ****’s sake, Michael ****ing Jordan could have thrown basketballs at the Raccoonish blokes in the batter’s box and they couldn’t have ****ing hit it, let alone reach a ****ING BASE!! Through five, the Raccoons had one hit, a grounder back to him that Cruz himself had failed to field and on which Samy Michel reached first base unimpeded. It was about the same way the opposing team managed to reach base whenever Juan Diaz was pitching. After putting a man on in the eighth, he hit consecutive batters, before Fairchild came in to present a grand slam ticket to Felix Hernandez. “Closer” Antonio Donis couldn’t even close out a rout, and was booked for four more runs. 15-0 Blue Sox. Michel 2-4; Miller 2.1 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

(holds several forms in his hand, and a pen) Which is the form to file for your resignation? The blue one or the pink one?

In other news

June 5 – The Canadiens acquire 2B Horace Henry (.206, 2 HR, 5 RBI) from the Buffaloes for LF/RF Jesus Maldonado (.328, 2 HR, 11 RBI). The 38-yr old Henry had signed a 2-yr, $2.84M deal with Topeka just before this season.
June 6 – BOS 1B Glenn Douglas (.272, 1 HR, 12 RBI) has suffered a knee sprain that will keep him out of the game for about a month. The Titans compensate instantly by trading for Atlanta’s 1B/2B Jesus Zamora (.543, 0 HR, 10 RBI in 35 AB), giving up OF Luis Alonso (.259, 0 HR, 16 RBI) in the process.

Complaints and stuff

Good news of the week: 19-year old Gianni Tarquini, a Venezuelan import by Vince, who had pitched to a combined 7-23 in the last two seasons in A ball, threw a 3-hitter as Aumsville beat Orlando, 5-0. And in AA, Cesar Edralín, a 25-year old infielder, was named Batter of the Week. News reached him on crutches, for he has his right leg in a cast by now.

10 runs scored, 39 runs allowed. This is great news! I mean… this GOT to be the low point! It can not possibly get ANY WORSE THAN THAT.

---

Slowly but surely, I am coming to the conclusion, that catchers’ arm ratings are purely cosmetic and complete bogus. Just ignore them. Run against whomever you want. The whole running game in itself is utterly broken.

The Raccoons for the second year in a row can’t even outpace a 50% steal success rate. How can that be, when the running is done mostly by Guerin (and last year Buell), and very selectively by others? I tend to run rarely against 16-20 arm catchers, and more often against 9-14 arm catchers. There are few catchers with lesser arms in the league, but in the third Indians game, they had Jose Paraz catching, and his arm rating is 4, and I tried to exploit that (he also caught the first game, but we didn’t get into a good position to steal then). So, mind that Paraz’ arm is a 4, and Alba’s hold is 12. Newton, a 12/19 runner, stole a pair off him, while Guerin, who is 16/20 for the running game, was thrown out in his attempt. And Paraz – with that *4* arm, and how much more than a bloody stump with a hook attached can a *4* arm be?? – had a 53% CS rate through this contest!

Then, Guerin was thrown out by Felix Hernandez in game 2 against the Blue Sox. Hernandez has an arm of *20* and has a 53% CS rate as well! How can that be??

Current Raccoons batters (and Stephen Buell) and their stealing success this AND last season combined (only as far as they were Raccoons, though!), plus their career success, and their current speed/steal ratings, which are now likely the lowest they have ever been (players without any attempts are ignored):
Guerin – 33/54 (61%) – 70/106 (66%) – 16/20
Buell – 14/27 (52%) – 46/76 (61%) – 20/19
Richardson – 5/6 (83%) – 41/54 (76%) – 14/20
Newton – 3/6 (50%) – 40/63 (64%) – 12/19
Parker – 7/8 (88%) – 10/12 (83%) – 15/15
Brady – 3/8 (38%) – 9/17 (53%) – 13/17
Reece – 2/4 (50%) – 15/32 (47%) – 12/10
Gonzalez – 1/3 (33%) – 11/19 (58%) – 9/12
Ingall – 1/1 (100%) – 2/4 (50%) – 5/11
Caddock – 0/1 (0%) – 0/1 (0%) – 9/3
Kent – 0/1 (0%) – 0/1 (0%) – 13/6

Ignore the bottom five maybe. Neil Reece was quicker in his early career, but after he ran for 0/5 in ’93 or so, I stopped using him this way. Most of his recent attempts may have come in double steal attempts trailing Conceicao Guerin. But ignore him now, and the four below him now, maybe also Parker and Brady. But you can’t tell me that a 20/19 runner like Buell stealing only 61% of all bases, with selective base stealing, makes any sense.

Excluded is Nuno Andresen, who has 234 stolen bases in 328 attempts (zero with the Coons), while always playing for the Capitals. He is now rated 9 SPE and 20 STE. I can’t access the ratings from the scouting reports from his early 20s, but I imagine the speed was higher. Nevertheless, he has a 71% success rate in his career, while potentially having a much lower speed than Buell?

This makes NO sense WHATSOEVER. It’s either broken, or the Raccoons have more rotten luck than even I was giving them credit for.