[Westheim]

Raccoons (0-0) vs. Crusaders (0-0) – April 2-4, 2001

The time has come. Time to throw all our new **** against the wall and see if it sticks. Vince thinks the Crusaders’ strength will be with pitching, and doesn’t think too highly of their offense.

Projected matchups:
Randy Farley (0-0) vs. Anibal Sandoval (0-0)
Carl Bean (0-0) vs. Ramiro Gonzalez (0-0)
Ralph Ford (0-0) vs. Francisco Garza (0-0)

Game 1
NYC: RF Gonzales – 2B Brantley – LF A. Johnson – 1B M. Berry – CF Latham – C Olson – 3B Rigg – SS J. Martinez – P Sandoval
POR: 2B Palacios – SS Guerin – CF Reece – 1B Martin – RF Brady – 3B Sharp – LF Cavazos – C Mata – P Farley

Farley was struggling in this season opener. The Crusaders left runners on second and third in both of the first two innings, missing a chance to hurt him early, but still scored a run in the third inning then on a Latham single. Farley’s control was not there at all and he pitched in high counts repeatedly. The Raccoons masterfully managed to leave five men on without scoring in the first three innings. In the top 4th, Rigg led off with a single, but Guerin turned a double play on Jose Martinez’ grounder. Sandoval hit a single in a 1-2 count, and then scored on Gonzales’ double to right. 2-0 Crusaders, and three double plays in five innings couldn’t save Farley due to the nine hits and four walks he gave away – and still the Crusaders scored only twice. However, by the sixth Elliott Meeks was in the game, walked Sandoval, but wasn’t scored on either. His spot came up in the bottom 6th, still down 2-0, with the bases loaded and one out. Parker hit for him, popped out softly to left, and Palacios flew out to center, no scoring. Bottom 7th, two in scoring position with one out for Brady, and finally somebody came through: Clyde just barely missed a 3-run homer, but by the time Brian Latham had collected the ball in the outfield, Brady was sliding into third base with a game-tying 2-run triple. Sharp struck out, but Cavazos hit an infield single that gave the Coons the lead. Nordahl in the eighth repeated Meeks’ folly by walking Sandoval, but on run scored this time either. Miller came out in the ninth, struggled, put two on with one out, Palacios and Guerin failed to turn the fourth double play on the day, putting the tying run at third base in Ron Brantley, but Mike Olson then grounded out to Palacios to end the contest. 3-2 Raccoons. Reece 3-5, 2 2B; Martin 2-5, 2B; Sharp 2-4, 2B; Cavazos 2-4, RBI; Mata 2-2, 2 BB;

Juan Diaz got the win in a season opener, where both teams combined for 24 hits, and only five runs. That one was constantly about to get away, but in a pleasant surprise, the Raccoons start the season by topping the CL North on April 2!

Manny Gabriel made his Raccoons debut besides Palacios and Cavazos in this game, making an out as a pinch-hitter. Bean will start game 2, and we might get to see the other new Critters in Bruno, Flores, Heart, and Thomas in that game as well. Barring a 28-inning marathon, new pitcher Cipriano Miranda won’t wind up until the weekend.

Game 2
NYC: RF Gonzales – 2B Brantley – LF A. Johnson – 1B M. Berry – CF Latham – C Olson – 3B Rigg – SS J. Martinez – P R. Gonzalez
POR: SS Guerin – 2B Palacios – CF Reece – 1B Martin – 3B Sharp – RF Brady – LF Cavazos – C Mata – P Bean

While game one of the season had been about hitting and hitting and hitting, but never scoring, game two became a display for fine pitching. While the Raccoons led off with two singles in the bottom 1st and Reece scored Guerin on a sac fly, that was mostly it for offense for a long time at the park. The Raccoons would scratch out three singles in the bottom 5th, but didn’t score when Brady flew out to deep center. In the top 6th, Gonzalez led off by reaching second base when Palacios threw away the pitcher’s grounder. Jorge Gonzales walked, putting Carl Bean into a load of trouble. Brantley moved over the runners, before Bean struck out Johnson. Could he get Berry, too? Nope, but Brady could, with an awesome catch in the gap in right center. The Crusaders were still held to one hit by Bean, and were handed three K’s in the seventh. Bean had nine whiffs in his account then, but couldn’t get a tenth. In the bottom 7th, the Coons added a much-needed run and got Gonzalez out of the game, but Bean also conceded a run in the top 8th and was removed with two out and Brantley on first base, with the left-handers coming up. When Orlando Blanco relieved Bean, the Crusaders hit for Avery Johnson with Bob Rush, who singled, then sent Theodore Mullins. Nordahl faced him, and got a grounder to Sharp for the third out. The score remained 2-1 thorugh eight, and that brought out Miller again, who allowed a leadoff double to Brian Latham, who represented the tying run again. And again that run was on third base with two down, this time with Jose Martinez batting. Miller struck him out. 2-1 Coons! Sharp 2-4; Brady 3-4, RBI; Bean 7.2 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 9 K, W (1-0) and 1-3;

We had ten hits, all singles, which always makes it hard to score anything. Nevertheless, Carl Bean had a wonderful debut in this game. With more offense, he might have been left in for a complete game. Other debutees were Mark Thomas, who replaced Mata behind the dish when he was hit for late, but didn’t get an AB, and Flores, who whiffed as a pinch-hitter. Still waiting on Bruno and Heart, and of course Miranda, who’ll pitch on Friday.

Also, Daniel Miller leads the ABL in saves with two. :-P

Game 3
NYC: C Olson – 2B Brantley – RF Gonzales – 3B Rush – CF Latham – LF J. Cruz – 1B T. Mullins – SS J. Martinez – P F. Garza
POR: 2B Palacios – SS Guerin – CF Reece – 1B Martin – RF Brady – LF Parker – 3B Sharp – C Thomas – P Ford

Ford’s debut was the most anticipated for all the starters, because with the other four you pretty much knew what you could get, but Ford had struggled badly last year and had to tone down the walks. He fell to only two 3-ball counts early in this game, and neither of those batters reached base. Neither did he allow a run through four innings. In the bottom 4th, in a twist, the first Coons home run of the season was hit by backup catcher Mark Thomas, and it counted for two runs, the first in the game. Ford then proceeded with the top 5th in HBP fashion, giving Martinez a welt. Garza then bunted into a double play and Ralph struck out Mike Olson to end the inning. Bottom 6th, the Coons had two on with no outs, when Ford bunted into a double play, third-and-first. In a bitter turn of events, Palacios would then reach on a Garza error and Guerin would single home Thomas to make it 3-0 after all. Ford didn’t walk anybody until with two down in the seventh, and then walked two in succession. Meeks relieved him and struck out Olson to preserve the shutout, but then issued a 2-out walk to Bob Rush in the eighth. Diaz failed to get Latham out, and Scott Wade appeared with runners on the corners to face Juan Cruz, walked him on eight pitches, but then PH Avery Johnson grounded out to Guerin to leave the bags full. When the Raccoons didn’t score in the bottom 8th, the score remained 3-0, another save situation, but unless I wanted to use Daniel Miller for three straight days at the start of the year, I had to pick between Blanco and Bruno against right-handers due. Say hello to Marcos. He struck out the first two Crusaders, getting the park chanting frantically. While the Crusaders eventually materialized on the bases, the game ended with a soft pop to Reece off the bat of Jorge Gonzales. 3-0 Raccoons!! Guerin 3-4, RBI; Thomas 3-3, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Ford 6.2 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 5 K, W (1-0);

Kudos to the pitching staff for converting eight runs into three wins! I have a hunch though that over the course of the next six months we will need a quantum of hitting more than that to survive.

Not that topping the CL North at 3-0, ahead of the 2-0 Loggers, wasn’t fantastic…

Raccoons (3-0) vs. Condors (3-1) – April 6-8, 2001

The Condors had loaded up on players during the offseason and had some dangerous new toys, including Jeff MacGruder (whom I could have had two years ago), and Carlos Ramos. While the Raccoons had scored 8 runs in their first three games, the Condors in their first four contests had plated … 38. That’s not a typo.

Projected starters:
Cipriano Miranda (0-0) vs. Simon Walton (0-0)
Miguel Lopez (0-0) vs. Jose Maldonado (1-0, 4.50 ERA)
Randy Farley (0-0, 3.60 ERA) vs. Bastyao Caixinha (1-0, 3.38 ERA)

Game 1
TIJ: 2B B. Boyle – SS J. Barrón – 3B O’Morrissey – RF MacGruder – CF MacKey – C C. Ramos – 1B Batlle – LF Williamson – P Walton
POR: SS Guerin – 2B Palacios – CF Reece – 1B Martin – 3B Sharp – RF Brady – LF Cavazos – C Mata – P Miranda

Simon Walton struggled, and the Coons plated two runs before leaving the bases loaded in the bottom of the first inning, then didn’t cash in on scoring chances the next two frames. Miranda went through the Condors lineup once without issues, but the second time took a few blows to the nose. One of those was a game-tying 2-run homer by Matt MacKey in the fourth. After Guerin was thrown out by Williamson, a catcher playing leftfield, at home plate to end the bottom 4th, the Coons had their first two men on in the fifth, before Walton struck out in succession Brady, Cavazos, and Mata. In turn, Jeff MacGruder bombed Miranda out of the game with his own 2-shot in the top 6th. Down 4-2, the Raccoons drew three walks from Jorge Reyes to load the bags with no outs in the bottom 7th. Mark Thomas hit for the catcher in the #7 hole, struck out, and Mata hit into a double play. The Raccoons continued to put runners on in the last two innings, but they plain failed to score. 4-2 Condors. Heart (PH) 1-1; Reece 3-5, 2B; Martin 2-4, BB, RBI; Sharp 2-3, 2 BB; Cavazos 2-3, 3B, RBI; Wade 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

We see a pattern developing. The Condors had six hits in this game, the Raccoons had a dozen. Yet, they left SEVENTEEN men on base. That was already the case in two of the games against the Crusaders, not that stark, but it was there. We have to watch Palacios, who’s batting .118/.211/.176 out of the gate, but apart from that and an 0-7 Chris Parker, there aren’t any glaring fails on the roster, offensively. However, they are spreading the joy as broadly as possible.

It takes 13 artists, to play 33 innings, have 47 hits and 15 walks, and only score 10 runs.

All new Coons have debuted by now.

Game 2
TIJ: LF Bayle – 2B J. Barrón – C Cicalina – CF MacGruder – 3B O’Morrissey – 1B B. Boyle – SS Williamson – RF B. Wilson – P J. Maldonado
POR: 2B Palacios – SS Guerin – CF Reece – RF Brady – 1B Martin – 3B Sharp – LF Cavazos – C Mata – P M. Lopez

The bus hit Miguel Lopez pretty much square in the middle game. The left-hander was stomped for five runs in less than five innings, and never, ever appeared to be in control of what was going on. Included in the barrage was a 2-out, 2-run single by O’Morrissey in the first inning, and a massive 2-run home run by Urbano Cicalina in the fifth. The Raccoons continued their ways of the first four games of the season, getting on base occasionally, but usually not leaving them until after the third out was made. When Lopez was gone, they trailed 5-0, as Maldonado was keeping them shut out. This didn’t change by much once Maldonado was removed. When Cavazos hit a leadoff double off Ray Cobb in the bottom 9th, this put the Raccoons up on the Condors in hits, 10-9. Yet, by the time Game Over flashed on the scoreboard, they still hadn’t scored a single run. 6-0 Condors. Brady 3-4, 2B; Cavazos 2-4, 2B; Mata 2-4; Heart (PH) 1-1; Wade 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K;

One run was charged against Elliott Meeks, the first run on the bullpen this season. Not that it makes our 2.0 R/G any better.

Game 3
TIJ: LF Bayle – SS J. Barrón – 3B O’Morrissey – RF MacGruder – CF MacKey – 1B Cicalina – 2B B. Boyle – C C. Ramos – P J. Robinson
POR: SS Guerin – 1B Sharp – CF Reece – RF Brady – LF Cavazos – 3B Heart – C Mata – 2B Gabriel – P Farley

Neither team reached base in the first, but that quickly changed in the top 2nd. MacGruder tripled to present himself at third with no outs. After Matt MacKey walked, Farley managed to whiff both Cicalina and Boyle. Ramos was put on intentionally to get to Jon Robinson, who took the start from Bastyao Caixinha. And Robinson was walked by Farley. And so was Jimmy Bayle. Dazed, I watched Guerin triple home Farley for a 2-out RBI in the bottom 3rd, before Sharp struck out, and the Coons left the bags loaded in the fourth. Randy, mad at himself, ramped up the pace and had struck out eight Condors by the fifth inning. In the bottom 5th, he led off with a double and was moved to third on a Guerin single. Those were the go-ahead runs on base, and this time, Daniel Sharp came through for an RBI single. Robinson balked before striking out Reece. Brady hit one deep to center, but MacKey made the catch, holding him to a go-ahead sac fly. Max Heart would single home another run before the inning ended with Farley holding a 4-2 lead.

He held that lead for about three minutes, before the Condors had the bags full with no outs in the top 6th after a pair of walks sandwiching a MacGruder infield single. Cicalina popped out before we sent for Orlando Blanco to face Boyle and Ramos. Blanco entered his third game, had yet to surrender a batter, and with his first pitch nailed Bruce Boyle. The second pitch was taken into center by Ramos, tying the score, and the Raccoons were not getting out of this one. Meeks allowed an RBI single to Williamson, then walked in TWO more runs, and it wasn’t until Nordahl was thrown into the fracas that the inning ended with a K to MacGruder, with five runs across. Down 7-4, Nordahl was even sent to bat in the bottom 6th to exploit him for another inning (or two?), and he casually hit a home run off Jose Ochoa. Once that was taken care of, he indeed pitched two more innings, mowing down Condors in quick succession. The score was back to 7-6 after Max Heart had plated a run in the bottom 7th. Ray Cobb, in the bottom 8th, readily put the tying run on base with a 4-pitch walk to Manny Gabriel. Albert Martin grabbed a bat to hit for Nordahl. The Condors countered with left-hander Domingo Moreno, but Martin still doubled, putting the go-ahead runs in scoring position. Jorge Reyes appeared and walked Concie, then yielded for a right-hander in Tom Watkins to face Sharp. The count ran full, and after seven pitches Daniel Sharp drew a bases-loaded walk to tie the score, still three men on, still no outs, and the fans were giving them Condors hell, as Neil Reece was stepping at the plate, 0-4 on the day. This next battle lasted seven pitches just as well. When the seventh pitch, and the second in a full count, tailed away to the outside, Reece froze mid-swing, then casually lobbed the bat away and walked leisurely to first – WE HAVE THE LEAD!!! The fans were chanting frantically. Brady hit a sac fly, before Cavazos drew another walk. That brought up Heart, who hit a ball to shallow right center, where MacGruder got to hit and they nailed Sharp at home.

Daniel Miller came out with a 9-7 lead in the loudest place in America, easily beating any coal mine or airport. When Barrón took his first pitch into shallow left on a high blooper, it didn’t silence the attendance. O’Morrissey grounded out, but the tough part came just now with left-handers MacGruder and MacKey. The former walked, but the latter made an out to Guerin. Cicalina was next, and hit another horrible bloop nobody could get to, scoring Barrón. The fans was were chanting on Miller and booing Boyle at the same time, until everything fell silent when Miller’s 0-2 pitch hit the padding on Boyle’s elbow. Bases loaded, .524 lefty Ramos up, and this was all Miller, and Ramos put the 1-0 in play, a grounder, slow, up to third. Heart in, only play goes to first – AND HE GOT HIM!!! 9-8 Raccoons!!!! Guerin 3-4, BB, 3B, RBI; Cavazos 2-4, 3B; Martin (PH) 1-1, 2B; Nordahl 2.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 6 K, W (1-0) and 1-1, HR, RBI;

NORDAHL!!! COONS!!! WIN!!!!

Oh my … - (exhales slowly) … that was … THAT … WAS … wow. I have no words. Just one.

NORDAHL!!!

Raccoons (4-2) @ Bayhawks (4-2) – April 9-11, 2001

The Bayhawks through one week had been more or less consistently above average, not quite how the Raccoons got to 4-2, with a slew of 1- and 2-run wins and tons of luck on either side of the scales.

Projected matchups:
Carl Bean (1-0, 1.17 ERA) vs. Ricardo Sanchez (1-0, 3.38 ERA)
Ralph Ford (1-0, 0.00 ERA) vs. Miguel Diaz (0-1, 3.00 ERA)
Cipriano Miranda (0-1, 6.00 ERA) vs. Henry Selph (1-0, 5.14 ERA)

Game 1
POR: SS Guerin – 2B Palacios – CF Reece – 1B Martin – RF Brady – 3B Sharp – LF Cavazos – C Thomas – P Bean
SFB: RF Javier – 3B Foster – 1B D. Carroll – LF W. Jackson – SS B. Hall – C I. Morales – CF Walls – 2B V. Martinez – P R. Sanchez

No score through three, the Raccoons got an unearned run in the fourth driven in by Thomas after Bob Hall had made an error. Bean had only allowed a walk through three innings, but somehow in the fourth came apart quite badly. He walked Jesse Foster, and then immediately was taken deep by Dave Carroll. 2-1 Bayhawks, Bean loaded the bags again with another walk and two singles, before he nipped Jackson at home on Walls’ grounder. He then struck out Martinez and Sanchez to escape the inning trailing “only” 2-1. Carroll hurt Bean again with a solo homer in the bottom 5th, but Clyde Brady pulled the Raccoons even eventually with a 2-run shot in the sixth that got us back to 3-3. Bean continued into the seventh. There, with two down, Martinez at third, Jesse Foster was up. Bean assued the pitching coach he still had something, but then gave up an RBI double, and left with Carroll approaching to the sound of drums. Bruno served up a high fly to the first baseman, but Reece made a catch on that. Bruno returned for the eighth, gave up another run, and that combined with the fact that the Raccoons hadn’t scored on Andrew Schaefer with two on and one out in the top 8th doomed Carl Bean for good. Bob Robinson pitched in the ninth, and Chris Parker reached on an error. Robinson wild pitched him to second base, from where he scored on Guerin’s 1-out double, cutting the gap to 5-4. Palacios grounded out, moving Guerin to third, and so it was on Neil Reece with two out to get it done. Reece was in an 0-7 string, and couldn’t solve Robinson. He popped out to short. 5-4 Bayhawks. Palacios 2-5; Brady 2-3, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Thomas 2-4, 3B, RBI;

Meh. Somehow, Bean didn’t quite match up well with Carroll (a right-handed batter), and then we lost it because we couldn’t get runners home – again! That’s our third loss of the season, and we have yet to incur a loss while landing less base hits than the opposition (both teams had eight in this one).

Game 2
POR: SS Guerin – 2B Palacios – CF Reece – 1B Martin – RF Brady – LF Cavazos – 3B Gabriel – C Mata – P Ford
SFB: RF Javier – LF Walls – 1B D. Carroll – CF Black – SS B. Hall – C G. Ortíz – 3B Foster – 2B Navarro – P M. Diaz

If you came for scoring, you came to the wrong park. The contest was scoreless through five innings. While Diaz dealt high heat and whiffed the Raccoons in scores (8 K in 5 IP), Ford relied more on defense and his own good luck. And then it were still the Raccoons to score first, when Reece came home on a Cavazos double in the sixth. With the bags full and one out, Mata hit into a double play, and in the seventh it was Reece to hit into the wheels of the defense for another inning-ending two-for-one. Ford also survived the seventh only on a double play but was more or less done for the day on 105 pitches. The Raccoons failed to score while Nordahl pitched a scoreless eighth for Ford. Miller came out for his fourth save attempt in the ninth and again began to get victimized by uncatchable bloops. Will Jackson led off the inning with a single to left that fell between Gabriel and Cavazos. However, Jesse Foster than hit one right to Palacios, who started to turn two, and that made PH Alfredo Marquez potentially the last man up for Miller, yet he singled, and Vicente Martinez had the honors, flying out to Brady. 1-0 Furballs! Cavazos 2-4, 2B, RBI; Ford 7.0 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 4 BB, 4 K, W (2-0) and 2-3;

Yay, pitching!!

Game 3
POR: SS Guerin – 2B Palacios – RF Brady – 1B Martin – CF Cavazos – 3B Sharp – LF Parker – C Mata – P Miranda
SFB: RF Javier – 3B Foster – 1B D. Carroll – LF W. Jackson – SS Bob Hall – C G. Ortíz – CF Marquez – 2B Navarro – P Selph

Rain was approaching the Bay as this game got underway, and it became clear very quickly that Cipriano Miranda wouldn’t live to see the rainbow. The Bayhawks stuffed him with four hits for four runs, crowned by an Ortíz homer, in the first inning. He was gone soon, but stayed long enough to absorb six runs in total, as the Bayhawks hit him at will, while the Coons didn’t even get the bats up. Wade also got abused in ultimately aborted long relief, and the Raccoons were abhorrent and only managed a run on a sac fly by Max Heart in the eighth. The Critters were forcefully shown the door, but not before the Bayhawks mauled every last man of the bullpen in a calamitous bottom of the eighth, with Diaz, Nordahl, and Blanco all torn to pieces with home runs by Carroll (3 runs off Nordahl) and Ortíz (2 off Blanco) for six more runs that hadn’t exactly been necessary. 14-1 Bayhawks. Guerin 2-4, 2B; Reece (PH) 1-1;

Ah, there’s the team that everybody had waited for, to finally show its ugly disfigured face.

So now, nine games in, the team is 5-4, having scored 25 runs and having been bombed for 40. Talk about efficiency.

Raccoons (5-4) @ Canadiens (2-6) – April 12-15, 2001

And with everybody in emotional tethers now, the team travelled to Canada for four over the weekend, while I had to watch from the distance as they took on the Canadiens, who had stumbled out of the gate. They had allowed the second-most runs (51) so far, with their rotation blown up at a 6.24 ERA. There was one specific, very interesting case among their starters,

Projected matchups:
Miguel Lopez (0-1, 9.00 ERA) vs. Daniel Dickerson (0-1, 189.00 ERA)
Randy Farley (0-0, 6.10 ERA) vs. Juan Bello (0-0, 3.75 ERA)
Carl Bean (1-1, 3.14 ERA) vs. Joe Hollow (0-2, 3.71 ERA)
Ralph Ford (2-0, 0.00 ERA) vs. Paul Kirkland (0-0, 7.50 ERA)

Dickerson’s only start had him going one third of an inning, with six hits, two walks, and seven runs against him. So, if he pitched a shutout now, he’d come out at just over seven, right? That’s probably going to happen then…

Game 1
POR: 3B Sharp – 2B Palacios – CF Reece – 1B Martin – RF Parker – C Mata – SS Gabriel – LF Flores – P M. Lopez
VAN: 3B De Jesus – 2B H. Henry – RF Velasquez – SS B. Butler – 1B Valenzuela – CF P. Taylor – LF Hudson – C Clemente – P Dickerson

There was one pitcher that was battered with wooden sticks quite soon in this game, but it wasn’t Dickerson. Miguel Lopez got under the wheels yet again, allowing four runs in the second inning through his general inability to make a decent pitch. That doesn’t mean that Dickerson was good. He began to shake badly by the fourth. Neil Reece brought home a run with a 2-out single, and in the next inning, an 0-10 Manny Gabriel produced something for the first time as a Brownshirt: an impressive 3-run home run to rightfield, knotting the score at four. Yet when Gilberto Flores was on third base in the same inning, both Sharp and Palacios struck out to leave him there. The Canadiens would get Clemente to third with one out in the bottom of the frame, and of course THEY scored him with an Alfredo De Jesus double. That was it for Lopez, who was charged with six runs once Bruno allowed De Jesus to score, and Bob Butler’ 2-run homer right after that made it 8-4 Canadiens. In Portland, I was crawled up on the floor of my office, all in tears, and Dickerson struck out eight Raccoons before being removed after five. And yet, the Raccoons weren’t out of it. They came back to three runs back in the seventh, when Scott Wade hit a 2-out RBI single. Neil Reece went deep for the first time this year in the eighth, and they had two more on when Brady and Gabriel made poor outs, keeping the team two behind. Top 9th, Raymond Léger pitching, Flores walked and Thomas singled with no outs to put the tying runs on base. Sharp hit one into center, bases loaded, and Palacios hit one into almost the same spot, plating Flores, 9-8. Reece was up! Neil! I kneed, begging, on the floor in the office in front of the TV. Neil! Lift us, Neil! Eight pitches later, Reece had worked a game-tying walk, still all bases occupied, and still no outs for Albert Martin, who fouled out on the first pitch. Léger was STILL in the game, now facing Parker. And, oh no, he’s popping it up, too! I shrieked, but the pop went to shallow center, and Palacios, on second base, had the best read, and SAW that Arturo Lopez had played way deep and was NOT going to get this one! Sharp scored, Palacios scored, HERE COME THE COONS!!! They didn’t come any further in this inning, though, settling for an 11-9 lead to hand to Daniel Miller. Miller started off by walking Velasquez, and would not get ahead of any batter in this inning. Butler sent a 2-0 pitch to Reece, Valenzuela a 1-0 pitch to Flores, and Raymond Sutton ran the count full before he lobbed out to center just as well. HUH, VICTORY!! 11-9 Raccoons!!! Sharp 2-6, 2B; Palacios 2-6, RBI; Reece 4-5, BB, HR, 3 RBI; Martin 2-5, BB, 2B; Parker 3-5, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Gabriel 2-6, HR, 3 RBI; Thomas 1-1; Wade 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K and 1-1, RBI;

Nothing sweeter than snapping victory from the jaws of defeat, except snapping victory from the jaws of defeat at the hands of the Smelly Elks!

The Raccoons had 19 hits, had more hits than the Canadiens (11) all game, and almost would have lost another one of those.

Game 2
POR: SS Guerin – LF Cavazos – CF Reece – RF Brady – 1B Martin – C Thomas – 3B Sharp – 2B Gabriel – P Farley
VAN: SS B. Butler – C Clemente – 1B Valenzuela – RF Velasquez – LF Durán – CF A. Lopez – 3B Sutton – 2B H. Henry – P Bello

Randy’s woes continued as the Canadiens rocked over him with two in the first, and two more in the third, the latter on a Velasquez home run. For the Coons, Guerin had singled in the first, had been picked off first base, and Bello had faced the minimum through three innings. Guerin got on again and scored in the fourth inning, and while nothing went the right way for the Raccoons with Juan Bello on the mound, everything went the wrong way when Farley was pitching. The score spiraled out of control in the seventh, which the Canadiens led off with an infield single by Butler, and then got ANOTHER infield single by Valenzuela. Meeks walked the bases full, and Blanco issued two bases-loaded walks. Bello left the game in the eighth only because of discomfort, while nobody cared for my discomfort as I watched from beneath the desk, holding on firmly to a blanket. The Coons were down and out, 6-1, through eight. Paul Brown appeared in the ninth after pitching two innings the day before. He walked Reece, walked Brady, and Martin singled. Bags full, no outs, Raymond Léger (!) appeared, and walked Thomas, which technically brought the tying run to the plate, but Daniel Sharp’s miserable grounder was converted into a double play by Léger and the Coons were denied their improbable comeback today. 6-2 Canadiens. Guerin 3-4, 2B; Martin 2-3;

Game 3
POR: SS Guerin – 3B Sharp – CF Reece – RF Brady – LF Cavazos – 1B Martin – C Mata – 2B Heart – P Bean
VAN: SS B. Butler – C Clemente – 1B Valenzuela – RF Velasquez – LF Durán – CF A. Lopez – 3B Sutton – 2B H. Henry – P Hollow

… and for the fourth consecutive day the Raccoons got their starter gangbanged the first time through the order, as the Canadiens whacked three doubles off Carl Bean and used a Max Heart error to plate three runs (two earned) off Bean in the first frame. Joe Hollow was perfect until he hit Daniel Sharp with a pitch in the fourth. Cavazos landed a single in the fifth, and the Canadiens strangely teased the Raccoons here with Bob Butler committing an error to put Heart on base with two down, Hollow throwing a wild pitch and finally walking Bean, giving Guerin three men on. Under my desk I was begging for mercy, begging for a hit, and once Guerin walked, Sharp came up and singled up the middle. Lopez took long enough to allow Bean to score, and the game was tied! We got one more hit, a Reece single plating Guerin for the go-ahead run, 4-3, before Brady hacked himself out. Mata’s run-scoring, yet inning-ending double play in the sixth added a run, 5-3, and I was almost about to take a seat BEHIND the desk, when the bottom 6th rolled along. Lopez on first base, two out, the Canadiens sent Hollow to bat for himself – and he doubled. Hollow scored, but well, we’re still up 5-4. Bean was tasked with Butler – and oh well, ****, he homered. I would eventually be read the rest of the game from the box score by Slappy, the janitor, the next day, since I was reduced to suckling on my thumb in a state of mental disarray, but the Canadiens left Hollow in the game into the eighth, where that would eventually backfire when Martin plated Brady to tie the game. Brady would slap a 2-out single to right to plate Guerin in the ninth, putting Ray Hoskins on the hook, and a shaky bullpen ejected a wobbly Daniel Miller for the third straight day, and eventually it was Guerin who held on to the W with a nifty pick on Raymond Sutton’s sharp grounder with the winning runs for the Elks on base. 7-6 Raccoons, I’ve been told. Sharp 3-4, 2 RBI; Brady 2-5, RBI; Cavazos 2-5; Martin 2-4, RBI;

Slappy said that Marcos Bruno picked up his first big league win in relief here.

Game 4
POR: SS Guerin – LF Parker – CF Reece – RF Brady – 1B Martin – 3B Sharp – 2B Palacios – C Mata – P Ford
VAN: 3B De Jesus – LF Durán – RF Velasquez – SS B. Butler – 1B Valenzuela – CF P. Taylor – 2B H. Henry – C J. Esquivel – P Kirkland

Reece plated Guerin for a 1-0 lead in this game, but once De Jesus hit a leadoff triple in the bottom 1st, I called Slappy in and we both sat down under the table, while I held on tightly to his strong, manly arm, and Slappy held on to a bottle of booze. Not that it helped Ralph Ford in the least degree. Durán brought home De Jesus, and the Canadiens had two on when Phil Taylor hit the second triple of the inning way past Neil Reece. Once through the rotation, everybody blown up in time, and I was reduced to slowly rocking back and forth and begging for everything to end. Down 3-1, Ford wombled and tumbled, and only a spectacular double play turned by Palacios and Guerin helped to dig him out of three on, one out in the bottom 3rd. The Raccoons scored one in the fourth, but left two on, and in the sixth Neil Reece was thrown out trying to go first-to-third on a Martin single. Ford put the first two men in the bottom of the inning on base, and here everything was going down. The manager got the ball from Ford, Meeks came in, and both runs scored. I was annoying enough that Slappy eventually left angrily in the seventh inning, in which the Canadiens scored nine runs primarily on Wade and Bruno, saying that even his two wives and six daughters at home didn’t do half as much crying, cussing, and cursing as I did. I remained dumped on the floor for the remainder of this particular blowout, in which the Raccoons, just for good laughs, scored three runs late. 15-5 Canadiens. Parker 2-4, BB, 2 RBI; Reece 2-5, RBI; Martin 2-4; Flores (PH) 1-1;

I pretended to be a piece of trash, but the cleaning ladies refused to pick me up late that night. Maybe I should have tried to stop lamenting my terrible fate for just one minute and they would have fallen for my very best imitation of a scrunched paper.

The agony.

In other news

April 2 – DEN OF Chih-tui Jin (.500, 0 HR, 0 RBI) goes down with a strained medial collateral ligament on Opening Day and won’t return until May.
April 6 – Two things happen in the Warriors’ 2-0 win over the Buffaloes. First, OF Paul Theobald (.316, 0 HR, 2 RBI) continues a hitting streak started in the 2000 season to 20 games with two hits, and also William Henderson (0-0, 0.00 ERA, 2 SV) closes the game, which marks the 400th career save for the 34-year old left-hander, taken by the Bayhawks in the 1988 draft supplemental round.
April 7 – 25-year old TIJ LF Jack Bishop (.300, 0 HR, 2 RBI) has been declared lost for the season with a complicated fracture in his elbow.
April 8 – Career home run leader RIC RF/LF Raúl Vázquez (.308, 0 HR, 1 RBI) heads to the DL with back tightness, but should be able to return after the minimum 15 days.
April 8 – Paul Theobald’s hitting streak ends at 21 games, as he goes 0-5 in his Warriors’ 4-3 win over the Buffaloes.
April 10 – Two leftovers of the winter find new homes. The Blue Sox re-sign 37-yr old LF/RF Preston O’Day (.287, 220 HR, 1,081 RBI) for 1-yr, $585k, while the Scorpions add ex-VAN OF Jorge Ledesma (.275, 63 HR, 337 RBI) for 1-yr, $655k.
April 13 – SFW OF Luis Arroyo was earlier this week announced to come back within “eight days” but this timetable has now been postponed again after Arroyo aggravated his bum shoulder with the torn labrum during a workout.

Complaints and stuff

You gotta admit, the team has some soul, but I still have the blues. The rotation, well, the whole pitching staff, is still in shambles, and I was really hoping that it wouldn’t be. The bullpen is as explosive as I expected it to be. Yet they are technically an above-.500 team, although it’s probably not true when your Pythagorean difference is +3 after two weeks…

Also, proven: six .300 hitters in your lineup doesn’t mean the team will score more than four runs per game. This one hasn’t. They scored 50 in 13 games, and they allowed 76 in an utterly despicable display of general ineptitude.

And yet, this will never change. This will never change unless Big Carlos’ son – or rather the repulsive afterbirth imposing to be human and having a heart – will either open his wallet or sell this team for another villa in Mexico.

The pitching is outright awful, tying for most runs conceded, with a 5.89 starters’ ERA, 5.53 bullpen ERA, and also tying for most home runs allowed. They aren’t far from the most walks.

In turn, the team has the highest batting average in the league and STILL CAN’T SCORE RUNS.

MADNESS. I CAN HEAR YOU. MADNESS!