[Westheim]

Our relationship with Carlos Valdes in the almost 20 years he owned the team wasn’t necessarily always easy, but we got along. It was a form of mutual respect. We never had the most money in the league, but we had enough in the bank to make a key acquisition each year if we felt like it (and didn’t do something stupid).

Now, his satanic offspring is not somebody you can get around with, being as he is, lying on a pool in La Cucaracha, and not choking on his ****ing millions, which he’s not sharing with the Fuzzballs, in short: a total prick. I hate that prick. He’s like a wart on your foot. With a hair growing out of it.

A lot of late October was spent in the office, mulling our non-existing options. I turned my desk around so as to not have it face the door anymore, but rather the giant glass panel windows. Late October in Portland means rain. Lots of rain. Daily rain. All day long sometimes. You stare out into that rain, and there’s just no way out.

Clyde Brady had flown home to Texas in the first days of October (and why wouldn’t he?), but I called him a few times in mid-to-late October to check out where he was at. I wanted two things from him. A long-term deal to buy out his remaining arbitration years and as many free agent years as I could, and to undercut his 2002 $1M arbitration estimate.

The thing with escalating contracts is this: you have an issue with next year’s budget. Your salaries won’t fit in. And your players want to make millions. Out there, there are other teams that can happily pay millions. You can’t. So you have to entice them into signing a long-term deal. They won’t make millions *now*, but they will make the millions *later*. So a 5-yr, $5M deal might end up paying in succession $600k, $800k, $1M, $1.2M, $1.4M. And you undercut your salaries for next year with 200 grand here, and 300 grand there, and you fit that into your budget and … (pushes) SQUEEZE – IT IN – (shoves) REAL – TIGHT – … and everything comes up roses.

Except that it doesn’t. Nothing ever comes up roses. Always everything comes up tails. Two years later, the problem is even bigger. You can’t for your life fit all the salaries into your budget. So you cut scouting and development. You cut your minor league staff. You are still starting to lose players. Players you love. You make rule 5 picks. And then everything gets even worse.

Everything goes to ****.

The Raccoons have been doing this for almost a decade. It started in the last years of Big Carlos’ reign, when we increasingly signed players to lop-sided deals. It didn’t help. We lost David Brewer. We lost Royce Green. We lost Jason Turner. We lost Vern Kinnear.

Vern Kinnear.

And Vern Kinnear’s back and the yellow #16 and the raised fist were on the front page of the Portland Agitator, and IT WAS HURTING SO MUCH.

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2001 ABL AWARDS
FL Pitcher of the Year: SFW SP Pat Cherry (21-9, 2.99 ERA)
CL Pitcher of the Year: MIL SP Martin Garcia (20-6, 2.44 ERA)
FL Batter of the Year: CIN OF/1B Will Bailey (.328, 29 HR, 119 RBI)
CL Batter of the Year: OCT OF Joey Humphrey (.363, 10 HR, 72 RBI)
FL Rookie of the Year: DEN SP Victor Bernal (16-9, 3.45 ERA)
CL Rookie of the Year: OCT SP Luis Martinez (14-6, 2.78 ERA)
FL Gold Gloves: RIC P Doug Morrow, DEN C Johnny Johnson, WAS 1B Raúl Ortíz, SFW 2B Dave Heffer, DEN 3B Jose Perez, PIT SS Lorenzo Sepúlveda, SAC LF Aaron Jenkins, NAS CF John Hensley, NAS RF Juan Ortíz
CL Gold Gloves: NYC P Anibal Sandoval, TIJ C Carlos Ramos, CHA 1B Luis Soto, BOS 2B David Mendez, TIJ 3B Ben O’Morrissey, TIJ SS Juan Barrón, POR LF Ramiro Cavazos, BOS CF Rudy Garrison, SFB RF Paco Javier

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October 28 – The Raccoons release 28-yr old AAA MR Dan Epps.
October 29 – The Raccoons and 2B Jesus Palacios avoid salary arbitration by agreeing to 1-yr, $1.1M deal.
October 30 – The Falcons acquire 25-yr old INF Nelson Chavez (.279, 18 HR, 90 RBI) from the Gold Sox in exchange for 25-yr old 1B/2B/LF Jeremiah Terry (.299, 1 HR, 27 RBI).
November 1 – The Raccoons and OF Gilberto Flores agree to a 1-yr, $210k contract.
November 14 – The Canadiens trade 31-yr old MR Ray Hoskins (39-30, 3.73 ERA, 19 SV) to the Rebels for 25-yr old INF Jim Phillips (.240, 10 HR, 89 RBI) and a minor leaguer.
November 14 – In trade, the Miners get 32-yr old C Rob James (.277, 87 HR, 709 RBI) and a minor league pitcher from the Stars in exchange for 30-yr old SS/3B Tom Smith (.281, 3 HR, 67 RBI) and a minor leaguer.

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Four arbitration cases remained. Bean ($924k est.), Cavazos ($998k), Parker ($201k), Brady ($1M); we submitted $1M for Cavazos and Brady, $900k for Bean, and Parker got the same as Flores signed for, $210k.

We got three out of four. Cavazos was the one we missed on, as he received a tear-jerking $1,187,500 in arbitration. That’s … ugh.

Free agents have filed. Cipriano Miranda has elected free agency and is gone. Also gone are seven minor league free agents, including Bill Lewis, Tristan DeWinter, Dan Horning, Fred Carlton, Julio Romero, Julio Escalante, and Lawrence Williams.

With the arbitration process behind us, the Raccoons have $600k left to get something going. Oh wait, no, my bad.

We are $600k overbudget. We’re ****ing broke.

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I had a flight booked down to Texas for October 27. The mountain was actually going to visit the prophet. But just from talking on the phone I got Clyde’s desire to sign a big deal for big money. I think the 4-yr, $7M figure was somewhere in the room, and I think I also fainted.

I also think I forgot to actually have the flight reservation cancelled and we didn’t even get half a refund on the $250 ticket. Great. Less money in the budget.

Vern Kinnear’s fist is haunting me. Vern Kinnear’s yellow #16.

Vern Kinnear dropped a World Series-winning single. For Boston. Everything's coming up tails.