[Westheim]

Raccoons (31-51) vs. Crusaders (38-44) – July 4-7, 2005

It was another year out of contention for the Crusaders as well, and their streak was well longer than the Raccoons’. What was amazing was their rotten luck. Their run differential was +53! Their rotation was simply awesome, ranking tops with a 3.43 ERA. They only scored average runs, but was a team scoring an average amount of runs not supposed to win with its stellar starting pitching? We are 2-2 so far this season, and will play four-and-four with the Crusaders around the All Star Break.

Projected matchups:
Ben Carlson (2-5, 3.51 ERA) vs. Russell Benson (6-6, 2.89 ERA)
Ralph Ford (2-5, 4.10 ERA) vs. Greg Connor (6-8, 4.42 ERA)
Felipe Garcia (3-6, 3.88 ERA) vs. Frank Pierre (5-9, 4.20 ERA)
Kenichi Watanabe (0-3, 5.00 ERA) vs. George Kirk (0-0)

Yes, that George Kirk. Presumably they have brought him just for the joy of another no-hitter. We miss Whit Reeves, and we will still be annihilated.

Game 1
NYC: SS Rice – 1B D. Carroll – LF M. Ortíz – RF S. Martin – CF Javier – 3B Watts – C O`Riordan – 2B Moultrie – P Benson
POR: 3B Sharp – SS Yamada – CF Torrez – RF Brady – 1B A. Martin – LF Wheaton – C Wood – 2B Sheehan – P Carlson

Carlson loaded them up in the first inning, with the Crusaders, not scoring, but that was an inauspicious start… The Coons however got Yamada on with a single. He stole his 28th base, then scored on Torrez’ single, and then came Brady and hammered one out to make it 3-0 in a rush! The home team’s efforts weren’t helped by their ****ty pitcher, however. Carlson pitched like crap, allowed two runs in the third inning, and in the fourth put leadoff man Moultrie on base with another single. Benson grounded back to him, and Carlson threw away the ball trying to get the out at second base. Moultrie made it to third on a double play hit into by Gary Rice, then scored and tied the game when Carlson uncorked a wild pitch. Fifth inning, leadoff walk issued by Carlson, and then a hit, and another hit, and suddenly it was 5-3 for the Crusaders. The Coons made up a run in the bottom 6th, before Ed Bryan had a man on first base in the top 7th. He changed a 1-2 count to a 3-2 count with two wild pitches, then gave up a sac fly to Rex O’Riordan, who was batting a grandiose .149; It was not that that was yet the death knell for the Raccoons, who had the tying runs on base in the bottom 8th when we went to great lengths in having Leon Ramirez bat in place of Yamada with lefty Francois Picard on the mound, but Ramirez grounded out to short and the inning was over. The Raccoons were dealt their death knell however in the top 9th, when Lawrence Rockburn came in, allowed three hits and a wild pitch for three runs. 9-4 Crusaders. Yamada 2-4, RBI; Wheaton 3-4; Greenman (PH) 1-1, 2B;

And we start the week with a truly horrible game, full of messed up chokeheads. Carlson, Ramirez, Rockburn. You name them. Can’t pick a wrong one.

Game 2
NYC: SS Rice – 1B D. Carroll – RF S. Martin – LF M. Ortíz – C D. Anderson – 3B Watts – CF Javier – 2B Moultrie – P Connor
POR: 3B Sharp – SS Yamada – LF Brady – RF Greenman – CF Torrez – 3B Searcy – 2B Ingram – C L. Ramirez – P Ford

In the bottom 1st, Sharp singled, Yamada walked, a wild pitch, and then another walk to Brady, and it seemed like the Raccoons would get a quick start again. Then Greenman hit into a double play. Sharp scored, but that was all the Coons got there. At least Ralph Ford pitched less like a dork in this second game and the Crusaders didn’t get much of anything in the first three innings, before they got a chance with a wild bout by Ford, who allowed a full count single to Stanton Martin, drilled Martin Ortíz, walked Thomas Watts to load them up before Paco Javier lifted out to Brady for the third out. Greenman’s second at-bat came to start the fourth inning, and we wished he hadn’t saved it for there, as he hit one out off Connor, 2-0. Gary Rice, one of those guys with a focus on furry woodland creatures, hit a solo homer off Ford then in the top of the fifth, cutting the score back to 2-1, but Connor faced the top of the order again in the bottom of the inning, Sharp and Yamada reached, and then Brady hit another thunder shot to reach double-digit homers and romp the score to 5-1!

Top 6th, two men on with two outs and Ford faced his final batter, having reached 108 pitches in putting those two runners on base. Paco Javier grounded hard to right, where it hit Thomas Watts, the runner from first, and ended the inning. Scoring went on in the game, however, with Connor just not retiring anybody in the bottom of the sixth. Ramirez singled, Wheaton (for Ford) singled, Sharp singled. Bases loaded, Yamada drew a walk, and here came Brady. Connor still in, for whatever reason, and Brady conquered him with another drive to deep right. It was high, it was deep, and it was pretty: GRAAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAMMMM!!!!

With us (and Brady in particular!) sending bombs away here, we had built a 10-1 lead and tried to get the final three innings from Kichida. You know, burn out one guy, have the rest of them ready for the final five games before the break. Didn’t work, because Kichida was wild and walked three while collecting only four outs. Moreno conceded one run but ended the inning, and Bruno then had a quickie ninth. 11-2 Coons! Sharp 3-4, BB, 2B; Brady 2-4, BB, 2 HR, 7 RBI; Searcy 2-5, 2B; Ramirez 2-4, RBI; Wheaton (PH) 1-1; Ford 6.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 9 K, W (3-5);

That is our first game this season of double-digit runs. Merely took until July. But for one day we don’t want to bitch, and rather see another pitch. (silly grin) Okay, no more terrible puns.

Game 3
NYC: SS Rice – 1B D. Carroll – LF M. Ortíz – RF S. Martin – CF Javier – 3B Watts – C D. Anderson – 2B Moultrie – P Pierre
POR: 1B Sharp – SS Yamada – LF Brady – RF Greenman – C Wood – 2B Sheehan – CF Fernandez – 3B Searcy – P F. Garcia

The tables were turned rather rapidly when Rice and Carroll hit singles and Stanton Martin tagged Garcia with a 3-run homer in the first inning. Soon after that we got a quick shower moving through, wetting the field and putting the game under delay for just over quarter of an hour. It took the Raccoons four innings to mount something resembling a threat, when they loaded them up with one out in the bottom 4th, aided by an Ortíz error. Searcy was up to bat, and zinged into an inning-ending double play. Yoshi-Y would hit a solo home run in the fifth inning, while Garcia clawed his way through seven frames, with Yamada making an error, losing his footing on wet grass, then dropping the ball on a grounder, but Garcia got through. Despite having no stuff, walking four and whiffing only two, he made it through seven. Bruno gave up a run in the eighth, before the Crusaders started to sabotage their own effort in the bottom of that inning. Nobody went after a Bob Wood bloop, which fell in for a 2-out single. Sheehan doubled, and then Fernandez’ grounder was butchered by Gary Rice for a run-scoring error. Searcy hit a double off Pierre on the first pitch, scoring another run to make it 4-3 and the go-ahead run was on second base! This had Al Martin hit for Bruno, but he grounded out to first. Garcia seemed to be stuck with the loss. The Crusaders played Charlie Deacon, the sorry excuse for a closer, who retired Sharp and Yamada to start the inning, but that brought up Clyde Brady, and Clyde Brady was hot, and Deacon had always so not been a closer: the result was a game-tying home run! Greenman got on, but Wood did not, and the game was going to run long.

Casas had already pitched the top 9th for us, and both closers got the tenth inning, with scoreless results. In the 11th, both teams sent left-handers, Bryan and Picard, respectively, which continued in the 12th. We only had Huerta as last fresh reliever in the pen, and you can get a few innings from Huerta (whose innings pitched have shot up in June…), but after that it would have to be Watanabe. Can we get some offense, please? Greenman led off the 12th with a double off Picard. We only needed one run: Wood bunted Greenman to third base. They didn’t pitch to Sheehan, setting up a double play, but Fernandez fouled out instead, bringing up Searcy, who had three doubles in the game, but now struck out, and the band played on, and it played on with Huerta, while the Crusaders stuck with Picard, who started his fourth inning in the 14th and had to come up with a way to compensate for a Caraballo error that put Clyde Brady on first with no outs. Brady reached third with one out after Greenman grounded out and Wood singled. Sheehan then grounded to short, where Rice didn’t love his chances for a double play and zinged it home, but Brady had cheated and had gotten a headstart, and it’s gonna be close, and he was - - - SAFE!!!! 5-4 Coons!! Brady 2-7, HR, RBI; Wood 2-5, BB; Searcy 3-6, 3 2B, RBI; Casas 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K; Bryan 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K; Huerta 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K, W (5-4);

Well, it’s Watanabe up next and we have no bullpen. For a moment I toyed with thoughts to move Brownie up to have him go on short rest and have Watanabe in the pen, but that puts everybody on short rest in the end. We have enough trouble as things are!

It would have conincided nicely with the All Star Game. Brownie is in a head-to-head race with Jorge Chapa to be the CL’s starter, and pitching on Thursday would have given him four days rest before the ASG. Well, three will do, and after that it’s a reset anyway. But still, it’s Watanabe up next and we have no bullpen.

Game 4
NYC: SS Rice – C D. Anderson – LF M. Ortíz – RF S. Martin – CF Javier – 3B Caraballo – 1B L. Soto – 2B Moultrie – P Kirk
POR: 3B Sharp – SS Yamada – LF Brady – RF Greenman – 1B A. Martin – CF Torrez – C Wood – 2B Ingram – P Watanabe

Don’t get no-hit, don’t get no-hit, don’t get no-hit.

Kirk faced the minimum the first time through the order, issuing a walk to Sharp, who got double up by Yoshi-Y, and the game was scoreless, but that changed in the top 4th with a 2-run homer by Paco Javier. It took the sorry Raccoons four and two thirds innings(!!!) to get a hit off Kirk, that miscarriage of a pitcher (worse than Bob the Clown!), when Tom Ingram singled past the reach of Caraballo and into leftfield. Watanabe went seven innings with Javier’s shot the only meaningful action, but the Raccoons didn’t have anything going at all. It took the Coons until the bottom 8th to mount anything meaningful. Wood led off with a single, their second(!) on the day. Ingram grounded out, and then Wheaton hit a single. Kirk walked Sharp to load them up, Yamada whiffed, and Brady’s hard grounder was intercepted and played in time by Luis Soto at first base. The Crusaders almost overcame the depleted Critters pen in the top 9th, with Moreno and Kichida stuffing the bags, but nobody scored in the end. Bottom 9th, Deacon time, and time for another comeback? Ah, not bloody quite. 2-0 Crusaders. Wheaton (PH) 1-1; Watanabe 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 0 BB, 7 K, L (0-4);

Go home, George, nobody likes you here! I said, go home, George! THERE’S the door!

Raccoons (33-53) vs. Canadiens (52-33) – July 8-10, 2005

Always not a pleasure (a 3-6 not-pleasure this year) to have the Stinkers in town. They were riding the second-ranked offense in the CL, outscoring the Raccoons by more than a hundred runs, and had the pitching to complete the picture.

Projected matchups:
Nick Brown (7-5, 2.78 ERA) vs. Juichi Fujita (10-4, 3.07 ERA)
Ben Carlson (2-6, 3.70 ERA) vs. Daniel Dickerson (7-5, 4.45 ERA)
Ralph Ford (3-5, 3.96 ERA) vs. Scott Spears (7-5, 4.45 ERA)

With Brownie potentially starting the All Star Game, we’d try and limit him to six innings or 90 pitches. (We should try and limit his innings anyway)

Game 1
VAN: CF J. Gonzalez – RF Denunez – SS Nakayama – 3B Suzuki – LF Trinidad – 1B Phillips – 2B M. Ramirez – C F. Diéguez – P Fujita
POR: 3B Sharp – SS Yamada – LF Brady – RF Greenman – 1B Martin – CF Torrez – C Wood – 2B Sheehan – P Brown

Both teams got a runner to third base with one out in their halves of the second inning, and neither scored them. In the top 3rd then, it was Jorge Denunez with his first career home run – off Brownie of course. When Brownie however sent a single to right in the bottom 3rd, Denunez would mishandle it for an extra base, which allowed Brown to score on Sharp’s single that followed. Brown also must have gotten wind of that 90 pitches thing, because he threw with even more extreme vigor and with hatred flickering in his eyes. The Canadiens flailed, going down without a whimper eight times in the first five innings before Jose Gonzalez got hold of a pitch and lined a double into the right field corner in the sixth inning. The Elks smartly brought him around to score, and Brown was on the hook. He made 90 pitches work for seven innings before reluctantly giving up the ball without clawing. He knew what was coming. Everybody knew what was coming. The Raccoons would not get on base – ever. Or would they? Bottom 9th, Brady singled, representing the tying run. Greenman walked, and then Martin singled up the middle, Brady rounding third for home – safe! Tied game! That was it, however, and we went to overtime once again. We had to bother Ricardo Huerta yet again for two innings, and he surrendered a run in the 11th. Bottom 11th, we faced left-hander Ralph Davis who had a thoroughly uninviting 0.89 ERA, allowing two runs in 20.1 innings. Brady drove a ball to deep right, but it was caught by Pedro Hurtado, who had been displaced there after some wicked pinch-hitting. Greenman however singled, and then Torrez walked. Searcy hit for Huerta, drew another walk, and that brought up Sheehan with the bases loaded and two outs. Brad, we kinda need a run here. Better two. The 1-1 pitch was lined to the left side by Sheehan, the leaping Suzuki couldn’t get it, and it bounced into left, and up the left field line, as Greenman and Torrez were scurrying home, and the Coons walked off in the bottom of the 11th!! 4-3 Brownies!! Sharp 2-5, RBI; Greenman 2-4, 2B; Sheehan 1-5, 2 RBI; Brown 7.0 IP, 3 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 10 K and 1-1, BB;

Yoshi Nomura started a rehab assignment over the weekend and the All Star break in St. Petersburg.

And if anyone is counting, Huerta now has six wins and is only one removed from the team lead. And it is JULY.

Game 2
VAN: RF Calzado – 1B Phillips – 3B Suzuki – 2B Rodgers – LF Trinidad – SS M. Ramirez – CF Denunez – C F. Diéguez – P Spears
POR: 3B Sharp – SS Yamada – LF Brady – RF Greenman – 1B Martin – CF Torrez – C Wood – 2B Sheehan – P Carlson

Double plays were the order of the day. The Coons hit into one in the first, the Elks in the second, the Coons in the third, and both teams in the fourth. All offense was swiftly killed this way. It was not until someone made a dumb error that some runs could be tallied, and of course that dumb person was a Furball. Torrez unleashed a wild throw trying to nab whatever runner he could see wherever he might go, but in the end the Elks managed two runs in the inning anyway. And the Raccoons, in the bottom 5th, hit into a double play. Quite obviously it was hard to get anywhere pleasant with such a hitting display, and, oh, look, Sharp hit into another one! That was five double play grounders in six innings. In the seventh, for a change, we did not hit into a double play, because no Raccoon ever reached base under his own power before Jim Phillips dropped Greenman’s pop to first and put him right there. Martin doubled, and then a ball got away from Diéguez to score Greenman, 2-1. The Elks loaded the bases in the top 8th against Carlson and Bryan, but Bruno cleaned house and nobody scored, and Marcos also kept the line clean in the ninth. Could be manage another furious rally? Well, Pedro Alvarado didn’t allow anybody on base. 2-1 Canadiens. Martin 2-2, 2 2B;

Five double plays. That’s a whole new quality of sucking right there. In total we made four fly outs, and 13 on the ground, but those were for 18 total outs.

Game 3
VAN: CF J. Gonzalez – RF Denunez – 3B Suzuki – 2B Rodgers – 1B Phillips – SS M. Ramirez – LF Jardine – C F. Diéguez – P Hollow
POR: 1B Sharp – SS Sheehan – LF Brady – RF Greenman – C L. Ramirez – CF Fernandez – 2B Ingram – 3B Searcy – P Ford

Rather than Dickerson we faced Joe Hollow (1-2, 4.88 ERA) who didn’t look quite right after missing a few months with shoulder inflammation and had been partly used in relief early on, but had now taken over the rotation slot formerly occupied by Cal Holbrook despite issuing almost six walks per nine innings.

Ralph Ford got nothing. The Canadiens had two on the board before making an out, and then butchered up a chance for a decisive first inning by leaving runners all over the place when Jardine popped out to short and Diéguez managed to whiff against the tissue thrower Ford, who ended up surrendering four runs in five innings before shooting over 100 pitches due to a combo of ****ty pitch selection and no control over anything in his petty arsenal. Hollow, yet fantastically, although reported as being completely bereft of any command over his stuff, dazzled the Raccoons in wonderful manner and didn’t walk anybody until the sixth inning. Soon afterwards, rain, that had started and stopped once before, forced a delay, and when Hollow came back half an hour later, he was not the same and got chopped for three runs in the bottom 6th. The game was about to get away from the Elks in violent manner by the seventh. Still up 4-3, Jim Jardine tried to snag a soft poppy liner to shallow left by Wheaton on the fly rather than take a bouncer for a single. It fell in anyway, bounced past Jardine and all the way to the wall. Wheaton was on third. Martin, having entered in a double switch and batting ninth, grounded to short, where Miguel Ramirez, Coon no more, looked back Wheaton before rushing a throw to first – and past first. Martin was awarded second base, Wheaton home, and the game was tied. The Coons then loaded them up with no outs, and yet all the suckers managed was a Brady sac fly. Huerta put a man on in the eighth, but Bryan came on with two out and struck out PH Vonne Calzado. The ninth was Casas’, starting with Mitsuhide Suzuki, who was the first of two groundouts, and then Angel had Phillips at 1-2 … and drilled him. Pedro Hurtado came out to pinch-hit, but grounded out to Yamada, who had entered for this inning as Martin had left again for defensive considerations. 5-4 Coons. Sheehan 2-4, 2B; Wheaton (PH) 2-2, 3B; Kichida 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 3 K;

Tissue thrower, in regard to Ralph Ford, because he makes me cry.

All Star Game

Turns out Martin Garcia started the All Star Game, although Jorge Chapa and Nick Brown received more votes than him. Brownie pitched the fifth, whiffed a pair, and the Continental League, whose roster was steaming with Titans and Canadiens, lost the game 2-1 to the Federal League. The loss was late on Salvadaro Soure (one of Vince’s discoveries from a few years back).

No other Coons went to the big bonanza in New York. Anybody surprised? Brownie then just stayed in New York instead of flying back to Portland, and on Wednesday blew his salary on fine clothing, and a golden gong for his new marble bathroom.

Are we paying him too much?

Raccoons (35-54) @ Crusaders (41-48) – July 14-17, 2005

Well, they are still seven under in the standings, and have still scored 48 more runs than they allowed, for a wicked disparage.

Projected matchups:
Felipe Garcia (3-6, 3.88 ERA) vs. Whit Reeves (9-4, 2.63 ERA)
Ralph Ford (3-5, 4.09 ERA) vs. Greg Connor (6-9, 4.71 ERA)
Kenichi Watanabe (0-4, 4.32 ERA) vs. Russell Benson (7-7, 3.19 ERA)
Nick Brown (7-5, 2.77 ERA) vs. Frank Pierre (5-9, 3.73 ERA)

We readjusted the rotation with Carlson now in #5, and Garcia and Ford (who can start on regular rest over the break), switching positions. Carlson will also be skipped on the first run with an off day on the Monday after the series. Also, Yoshi Nomura was back on the roster for this series, with Searcy having been demoted.

Game 1
POR: 3B Sharp – SS Yamada – LF Brady – RF Greenman – 1B A. Martin – CF Fernandez – 2B Nomura – C Wood – P F. Garcia
NYC: SS Rice – 1B D. Carroll – RF S. Martin – LF M. Ortíz – C D. Anderson – CF Javier – 3B Caraballo – 2B Moultrie – P Reeves

Garcia simply got it socked. The Crusaders stomped over him for five runs in the first two innings, and in the third inning got a man on with a drag bunt, and then Sharp made an error, and it just wasn’t going to end anytime soon. Garcia was bailed out of there by the long-separated Yoshis turning a double play, but was finally yanked in the fourth. At that point, the Coons didn’t even had a hit. Nomura finally broke into the H column in the fifth with a single to right, but then had to be removed in a double switch to get Kaz Kichida into the game for long relief, putting Kaz into a convenient spot in the lineup. Kaz somewhat delivered, pitching the rest of the game on four hits and one run, and the rest of the game meant through eight only. The Raccoons could not mount anything even vaguely resembling offense, and were held to three hits. 6-1 Crusaders. Nomura 1-2; Kichida 3.2 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 0 K;

Ah well. We’ll get them tomorrow, boys!

Kidding, of course.

Game 2
POR: 3B Sharp – SS Yamada – LF Brady – RF Greenman – 1B A. Martin – 2B Nomura – CF Torrez – C L. Ramirez – P Ford
NYC: SS Rice – CF Javier – RF S. Martin – LF M. Ortíz – C D. Anderson – 3B Caraballo – 1B L. Soto – 2B Moultrie – P Connor

For an unfamiliar change, the Raccoons burst out in the first inning, with Yamada and Brady getting on in front of Greenman, who hit a moon shot for his 16th homer of the year. Greenman continued to feature in most interesting plays, hitting a double in the third in which he got starved, and then made an error in the bottom of the inning that gave the Crusaders their first runner in pitcher Greg Connor, but he was also left on base. The Crusaders got a hit in the fourth, two actually, but still didn’t score, and in the top 5th Greenman drove another ball, but this time got it caught by Paco Javier on the warning track. The Coons had runners on the corners in the top 6th when the Crusaders managed to pick off the trailing runner, Eddie Torrez. All the offensive inability at some point had to come back to cost the Coons, and of course it did. Bottom 6th, Gary Rice bunted his way on base, and Javier had an infield single to short, and then Martin Ortíz let it fly and tied the score with one swat. The next inning, Soto and Moultrie reached, and Gary Rice doubled them in, which ended another Ford start on a depressed line, with Rice scoring as well when Bruno allowed a single to Ortíz. 6-3 Crusaders. Greenman 2-4, HR, 2B, 3 RBI; Nomura 2-4;

Torrez. The concussion must have gotten him. He’s so useless!

But it’s the middle of July, we gotta start moving inventory anyway.

Game 3
POR: 3B Sharp – CF Wheaton – LF Brady – RF Greenman – 1B A. Martin – SS Yamada – 2B Nomura – C L. Ramirez – P Watanabe
NYC: SS Rice – 1B D. Carroll – RF S. Martin – LF M. Ortíz – C D. Anderson – CF Javier – 3B Caraballo – 2B Moultrie – P Benson

Watanabe threw batting practice again. In the bottom 2nd, Paco Javier fired a shot to deep right, that Greenman somehow caught in tumbling manner, then dumped onto the warning track and remained there with some ill or other. Once he put in a box and shipped back to Portland, and Fernandez had replaced him, Watanabe continued to be ****, but the Crusaders made easy, and scored only single runs in the third and fourth innings. For the Critters, their almost comical ineptness continued. Watanabe, for crying out loud, couldn’t even get a bunt down. That forced Ramirez from the bases in the fifth, and likely cost a run, and with that run on the board, Brady’s solo homer in the sixth would have tied the game. So, it didn’t, and once Yamada reached base after that, he quickly was thrown out stealing, which is bad, since running is the only thing he’s capable of. To make it still worse, STILL WORSE, Leon Ramirez plated a run for the Crusaders with a throwing error in the bottom of the seventh. With the entire universe staunchly opposed against any good fortune for the Raccoons, we used Angel Casas in the bottom 8th just to get the poor sod some work. The Crusaders almost got a 2-run homer by Caraballo off him that Brady picked off the top of the fence. 3-1 Crusaders.

Watanabe (0-5, 4.02 ERA), who sucks, officially, was demoted after the game. That guy is an eye sore! We promoted not the Fat Cat, who was not any better in AAA than in the Bigs, but brought up 25-year old lefty Tim Webster, who has four pitches, which he throws with varying success. He has only made five starts in AAA, 3-1 record with a 4.54 ERA, 14 BB, 34 K in 35 IP. He was our fifth round pick in 2001 and took his time to get going…

We had to make another roster move however, as Christian Greenman had strained an oblique and would miss at least two weeks. As his replacement we called up Chris Beairsto, who had 19 homers in AAA, and about 2,500 strikeouts. Beairsto is out of options, so maybe we can rid ourselves of him once Greenman comes off the DL.

With Webster coming up, we changed our rotation. Webster had last pitched Tuesday. If we slotted him into Watanabe’s spot, he’d not go for nine straight days. Instead, Brownie was pushed to next Tuesday, but Carlson would still be skipped, because Carlson sucks on any length of rest.

Game 4
POR: LF Wheaton – SS Sheehan – 3B Brady – RF Brady – 1B A. Martin – CF Fernandez – 2B Ingram – C Wood – P Webster
NYC: SS Rice – 1B D. Carroll – RF S. Martin – LF M. Ortíz – C D. Anderson – 3B Caraballo – CF Javier – 2B Moultrie – P Pierre

Without a doubt, Tim Webster would never forget his first inning in the majors. There are things even Alzheimer’s disease can’t erase.

Webster surrendered Rice on a grounder back to the mound, so at least no infinite ERA for him. Then he walked Dave Carroll. Stanton Martin singled, but it didn’t get really ugly until after Martin Ortíz’ RBI double. Daryl Anderson grounded to third, and Sharp plainly butchered it for his 15th error of the season, scoring the second run of the inning, and then Caraballo hit a sac fly. Javier grounded to second to get out of – oops, no, Martin dropped it. Three runs, two unearned, and of course the Raccoons would never come back from that, and everybody knew. Except maybe if the Crusaders would be even more ****. For starters, Todd Moultrie made a grievous throwing error to start the second inning that put Brady on base, and Martin would single him in, then score on Bobby Wood’s triple! Those two unearned runs came right back off Webster, however, when Stanton Martin lifted one out of the park in the bottom 2nd. The Coons came back to 5-3 – that run also unearned – and Webster managed to shut up the Crusaders through six, as the game calmed down noticeably in the middle innings. Neither team mounted anything, with the Coons unable to mount anything themselves, but they wouldn’t go quietly. Wood was on base with one out in the ninth against Deacon, with Yamada hitting for Rockburn. He grounded to second, but the Crusaders only got the lead runner. Wheaton was next, but first Yamada took off – and was safe. We might have had to dismember him if he hadn’t been – Daryl Anderson had thrown him out twice in the series. Wheaton then hit an infield single, appearing on base as the tying run. And then Sheehan popped out. 5-3 Crusaders. Sheehan 2-5, 2B; Sharp 2-4; Wood 1-2, BB, 3B, 2 RBI;

In other news

July 4 – Big blow for the Indians, who lose SP Alonso Alonso (8-6, 5.04 ERA), who is headed for Tommy John surgery with a torn UCL and will miss north of one full year.
July 4 – SAL SP Manny Guzmán (7-4, 2.83 ERA) faces a 12-month recovery timetable after he has torn the flexor tendon in his elbow.
July 5 – Season over for another player: VAN OF Enrique Garcia (.347, 1 HR, 33 RBI) has gone down with a torn achilles tendon.
July 7 – The hitting streak of Sacramento’s Dave McCormick (.310, 15 HR, 45 RBI) sizzles to 25 games with one hit in a 5-4 win over the Stars. Said hit is a game-tying, eighth inning home run off Angel Romero.
July 7 – The Cyclones get C/1B Urbano Cicalina (.299, 8 HR, 39 RBI) from the Condors in exchange for 20-yr old A-level OF Pat Dunn.
July 8 – The Loggers lose 31-yr old SP Ramiro Gonzalez (10-6, 3.61 ERA) for the rest of the season due to a hamstring strain.
July 9 – MIL OF/1B Jerry Fletcher (.291, 2 HR, 26 RBI) reaches 2,000 career hits, but celebrations were cancelled since the Loggers took so long to collect 27 outs from the Titans, getting romped 11-3. The milestone hit is an RBI single off Jorge Chapa in the third inning.
July 9 – By trading C Tom Turner (.225, 14 HR, 38 RBI) to the Aces, the Scorpions acquire MR Leonard Williamson (1-4, 4.50 ERA, 20 SV) and an unranked prospect.
July 9 – MR Tony Vela (1-6, 4.45 ERA, 3 SV) is dealt from the Miners to the Capitals for two prospects.
July 10 – The Pacifics kill off Dave McCormick’s hitting streak at 27 games. McCormick is hitting .311 with 15 HR and 48 RBI.
July 11 – The Scorpions get word that SP Dan Moriarty (8-10, 3.77 ERA) figures to miss a month with a knee sprain.
July 12 – The Bayhawks grab SP Curt Powell (12-4, 4.49 ERA) in a trade with the Condors, sending over two prospects, including highly regarded 19-yr old SP Colin Sabatino.
July 14 – DAL C/1B Rob James (.238, 8 HR, 42 RBI) is out for two weeks with patellar tendinitis.
July 15 – The Pacifics deal veteran star OF Cristo Ramirez (.342, 0 HR, 27 RBI) to the Warriors with three prospects coming on in return for them, including #63 SP Jimmy Watson.
July 15 – LAP LF Ken Potter (.254, 19 HR, 62 RBI) is going to miss a month with a hamstring strain.
July 16 – The Loggers acquire LF/RF Jimmy Bayle (.293, 3 HR, 25 RBI) from the Condors for C Pedro Benitez (.253, 4 HR, 19 RBI) and a minor leaguer.
July 17 – Topeka’s Tony Hamlyn (9-7, 2.90 ERA) spills only two hits, one walk, and whiffs ten in a 1-0 shutout of his Buffaloes over the Capitals.

Complaints and stuff

George Kirk seriously gives me a nasty flashback to the early 90s, when there was another one of those ****ty no-good pitchers that would always have his field day against the Raccoons. I can’t for crying out loud remember the name and it will take some digging. I only know he was on the Titans and was ugly as all hell. Pig snout and all. Archer? Goddamnit, I can’t come up with it!

The Greenman injury is of course another kick right into the nuts. I was about to trade that guy! Now he’s out and won’t be back before the deadline. The baseball gods just took another dump onto the steaming pile that has buried my desk.

Great stuff. Really. And my landlady still wonders why I spend all night crying and screaming.

Nothing, ever, works.

Even Slappy drank all the booze he got for my fifty bucks.