[Westheim]

Even teams on a 7-game winning streak could get bad news, and the Coons got such by Monday morning when they were to leave to Milwaukee. 24 players actually left; Jeff Kearney didn't, though. The druid kept him in Portland and on crutches with a torn meniscus in his knee. The conservative estimate on this is three months, which makes me wonder why we don't lobby the Mexican Prick to pony up the money and give us a few android prototypes as players. They break a leg, you just exchange the leg, and don't wait three months until it magically grows back together.

Kearney's misery meant the major league debut, at some point, for left-hander Josh Boles. Once a Warriors second-rounder, then a Coons trash heap pickup, Boles had saved games in AAA so far and had pitched to a 1.00 ERA. The 22-year-old southpaw was flying up from St. Pete to meet the team there.

Raccoons (18-7) @ Loggers (9-15) – May 4-7, 2026

The Loggers ranked last in the North and were not really in the mood to face the Raccoons, who were already 8 1/2 games ahead of them in early May. There was a lot of "mediocre" on that Loggers roster. Eighth in runs scored with the tenth-best batting average; also tenth in runs allowed. Their pen was actually pretty good, but there was only so much damage control a pen could do for a bottom-three rotation. The Raccoons had won 13 games from the Loggers last year and would also try to extend their mind-bogglingly long streak of beating the Loggers over and over; Milwaukee hadn't won the season series since *2013*.

Projected matchups:
Kyle Anderson (1-2, 7.02 ERA) vs. Vincent Alfaro (1-3, 4.73 ERA)
Lance Legleiter (2-1, 4.13 ERA) vs. Jorge Villalobos (1-1, 1.56 ERA)
Dan Delgadillo (3-0, 1.41 ERA) vs. Danny Soto (1-1, 4.32 ERA)
Mark Roberts (3-2, 1.94 ERA) vs. Warren Polito (2-3, 4.24 ERA)

All the Loggers' starters were right-handed, so there was no need right now to bench Cookie again, especially since the other three outfielders (nobody is seriously considering Greg Borg for anything around here) were still not lighting on fire.

Game 1
MIL: 2B Mancia – C J. Young – 1B Tadlock – LF W. Trevino – CF Coleman – SS Ferrer – RF I. Flores – 3B S. Green – P V. Alfaro
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Spencer – LF Carmona – 1B Gonzalez – RF Gomez – CF Mora – 3B Nunley – C Tovias – P Anderson

Portland got going well with a double by Ramos, whom Spencer singled home before an out was made. In turn, Cookie made two outs with a bouncer back to the pitcher, which sucked given that Jon Gonzalez hit his monthly home run right after that on the next pitch, so the Coons got only two runs when they could have had three in the opening inning. With Kyle Anderson doing his thing on the mound, the lead didn't live long, Ivan Flores driving out a ball with Ian Coleman aboard in the second inning to get the teams back even again at two. While nothing about Kyle Anderson's first month in Portland advertised him as a starting pitcher, or much of a pitcher at all, the Raccoons at least kept scratching Vincent Alfaro's legs. Top 3rd, Spencer and Cookie both hit 1-out singles. Gonzalez hit a sharp grounder at Danny Mancia that handcuffed the second baseman for just long enough to take off the double play and left only Gonzalez out on the play. Rafael Gomez walked, loading them up for Abel Mora, who cracked a liner into the gap in left-center to carve up Alfaro on a bases-clearing double. That wasn't all, although with the Gonzalez groundout we had already recounted all the outs Alfaro would collect in the game. Nunley singled, moving Mora to third, and then Willie Trevino misplayed a Tovias fly into a 2-out, 2-run double. Any which way, boys! Any which way! That was it for Alfaro, saddled with seven and replaced by right-hander David Warn, who struck out Anderson.

With a 7-2 lead, the game was Anderson's to lose. No excuses – we want to see at least six innings! By the fifth inning, Anderson had an RBI (a sac fly), Alberto Ramos had hit a 2-run triple to be a homer short of the cycle (and also one homer short of his first career homer), and Matt Nunley was out of the game with a bad ankle, replaced by Daniel Bullock. The news on that last one were slow to come out, but it was so typical Nunley to get hot and then get hurt immediately. The Coons were actually up 10-2 in the middle of the fifth with Bullock replacing Nunley at the hot corner. Anderson made it six, and depending on what your standards were (4 BB, 2 K?) it was a job done okay-to-well, especially with the Loggers not getting another hit out of him in the middle innings. Ramos didn't homer his next time up, doubling instead off Koto Hayashi, and that also drove in the Coons' 11th run, plating Tovias with two outs in the top 7th. There was no need to remove Anderson immediately after the sixth either as he collected another five outs from as many batters before bumping his pitch count up to 107. The Coons let Nick Derks finish the game, which worked not so well (four hits, two runs in the ninth), but the Loggers were in no position to come back all the way anymore. 11-4 Raccoons! Ramos 4-5, 3B, 2 2B, 3 RBI; Spencer 2-5, RBI; Gomez 3-4, BB, 2B; Mora 2-5, 2B, 3 RBI; Nunley 2-3, 2B; Tovias 2-3, 2 BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Anderson 7.2 IP, 2 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 4 BB, 2 K, W (2-2);

Back-to-back 11-run games! … On the other hand, we will get some Daniel Bullock at third base for the next few games, because of Nunley's woeful ankle. The Druid considered him to be hampered for the rest of the week, but there was no point in disabling him. He was also available for emergency pinch-hitting.

Game 2
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Spencer – LF Carmona – 1B Gonzalez – CF Mora – RF Kopp – C Tovias – 3B Bullock – P Legleiter
MIL: 2B Mancia – RF Rueda – 1B Tadlock – LF W. Trevino – CF Coleman – SS Ferrer – C J. Salazar – 3B S. Green – P Villalobos

The first time through the order the Raccoons sure looked like they weren't going to be eligible for another run for roughly 17 innings. The only batter that reached was not a batter, and Legleiter was awarded a rather generous single on a grounder that dinked off Ron Tadlock's extended glove. The Loggers weren't any better; they had one hit the first time through, then had Willie Trevino get knocked in the fourth, but left him on base just as well as Manny Ferrer after the shortstop's leadoff double in the bottom 5th. John Salazar advanced him with a grounder to first, but then Sam Green grounded to Bullock at third base, which kept the runner pinned long enough for Legleiter to escape a sticky situation with a strikeout to the opposing pitcher. When a pair of 2-out singles put Ramos and Spencer on the corners in the top of the sixth that was easily the most rage the Raccoons had created in this game, but Cookies truck out on a high fastball and they had to retreat to the dugout without crossing home plate. Top 7th, Gonzalez drew a leadoff walk, the first free pass in the entire game. Mora grounded softly to short, forcing Ferrer to hustle in… and overrun the ball. The error put two on with nobody out, and the Coons still didn't score. Kopp flew out to right, Tovias whiffed, and Bullock flew out to right again. The Loggers finally broke through in the bottom of the inning when Coleman doubled into the corner in leftfield and scored on Ferrer's single. Legleiter yielded only four hits in seven innings, but it looked like that would be enough to beat him. No movement in the eighth, and in the ninth the Coons saw former Furball Joe Moore again, who had 13 K in 13 innings, but faced the middle of the order. Cookie grounded out. Gonzalez struck out. Mora flew out to Alexis Rueda in right. 1-0 Loggers. Legleiter 7.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 2 K, L (2-2);

Thus ended an 8-game winning streak. Well, at least the Elks didn't win either, so our lead remained 3 1/2 on them, and we are actually up by five against the Titans, who sit fourth behind the Crusaders.

We were arriving at the middle of a 13-game streak without an off day, so we'd give out days off to our regulars now. However, with Nunley out and the outfielders steadily shaking it up, there were really only the top four in the current lineup to give off days to. Gonzalez and Cookie were tapped for a day off on Wednesday, while Tim Stalker would continue to cycle through the middle infielders in the next two games.

Game 3
POR: SS Ramos – LF Spencer – CF Mora – RF Gomez – C O'Dell – 1B Kopp – 2B Stalker – 3B Bullock – P Delgadillo
MIL: 2B Mancia – C J. Young – 1B Tadlock – LF W. Trevino – CF Coleman – SS Ferrer – RF I. Flores – 3B S. Green – P D. Soto

Plans had to be modified at moving speed, though, because the Coons' lineup didn't even make it through the first inning intact. Elias Tovias' off day lasted barely beyond getting dressed and ripping open the first bag of cookies on the bench for Danny Soto drilling Brett O'Dell with a 2-2 pitch to load the bases. O'Dell had to come out of the game, leaving our bench seriously reduced. Terry Kopp would single in two, Ramos and Mora coming across after hitting singles earlier in the inning, before Tim Stalker flew out to Trevino in leftfield. Stalker would sparkle though in the following inning, bailing Delgadillo out of a tight spot with a wonderfully amazing double play, lunging for a grounder by Sam Green behind second base, flinging it to Ramos, blindly, and Ramos zinged it to first to beat Green on a bang-bang play. Delgadillo threw only three pitches the following inning for three easy outs, so things could still go either way for him, while the Coons were a bit crummy again, putting Mora and Gomez in scoring position with one out in the top 3rd, only for Tovias and Kopp to both strike out. The Coons' lead went out the window in the bottom 4th, though, with a Trevino double, Coleman single (and included Mora fielding error), a wild pitch (…!), and then Ferrer's run-scoring groundout, levelling the teams at two runs apiece through four.

Mora and Gomez were left in scoring position AGAIN by Tovias and Kopp in the fifth, this time on a pop and a grounder to short, while Yusneldan was under pressure in the bottom 5th after leadoff singles by Soto (…!!) and Mancia. Fortunately, Jim Young skipped a grounder to Stalker for another double play and Delgadillo conquered Tadlock on strikes to keep the Loggers away. Rain would end both starters' tenure in the game by the seventh inning, coming down hard with Delgadillo working on Rueda to begin the bottom 7th. The delay took almost 90 minutes and knocked out Delgadillo for sure, with Josh Boles making his major league debut against the left-handed Rueda. He got strike three on Rueda after inheriting a 2-2 count, then also struck out Terry Harris and Danny Mancia. Lisuarte Paradela struck out three Critters in the top 8th, but in the ninth Jon Gonzalez had a pinch-hit 1-out double against Joe Moore and pulled up the top of the order while Cookie went out to run for him. The Loggers were scared of a 20-year-old kid, walking Ramos intentionally to get to Spencer, who lined out to centerfield, and then Mora grounded out to Tadlock. Ugh, this team! Surginer's clean ninth gave us more extra innings and in the 10th a leadoff double through Jon Berntson at third base off the bat of Rafael Gomez. When Tovias grounded out, Gomez moved to third, and the Loggers walked Kopp intentionally, pulling up Tim Stalker, 0-for-4 and .118 overall. Unfortunately, the bench was seriously reduced and in a double play situation Matt Nunley was not an option to emergency-pinch-hit. However, Stalker got the job done, somewhat, with a sac fly off new pitcher Mike Linderman before Bullock struck out. Ricky Ohl now had no cushion, but at least got into the game…! That didn't mean there was a happy end, and in fact there was none. Wilson Aquino (who??) pinch-hit and homered to begin the bottom 10th, erasing the lead instantly, and the Loggers walked off on a Jim Young single and Ron Tadlock double. 4-3 Loggers. Mora 3-5, 2B; Gomez 2-4, BB, 2 2B; Bullock 2-5; Gonzalez (PH) 1-1, 2B; Delgadillo 6.0 IP, 7 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 3 K;

Back-to-back stinker games! Actually, also our first back-to-back losses this season.

I could have done without either.

The Raccoons also had to make an odd roster move for Thursday with no diagnosis on O'Dell. Nick Derks was demoted to AAA to make room for a backup catcher. Jake Burrows, 28, batting .246 with three homers in St. Pete, was called up because he was the only catcher on the 40-man roster.

Game 4
POR: SS Ramos – LF Carmona – CF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – RF Gomez – 2B Stalker – C Burrows – 3B Bullock – P Roberts
MIL: 2B Mancia – 3B S. Green – 1B Tadlock – RF W. Trevino – CF Coleman – SS Ferrer – LF Rueda – C J. Salazar – P Polito

Through five, four hits per side, and no runs for anybody. The Raccoons remained offensively inoffensive. While the Loggers reached third base twice, but were always quelled in time by Roberts flashing some stuff, the Raccoons never reached that far in the first five frames of this Thursday affair. Things usually went like this, as happened in the sixth inning: Alberto Ramos hit a leadoff single, then someone would strike out or pop up, or a random selection of those, three times in a row. In that top of the sixth, the Coons went K, pop, pop. Ramos walked back to the dugout from first base, dejected. In the seventh, Stalker hit a 1-out single up the middle, and Jake Burrows hit into a double play. Roberts held up with a 4-hit shutout through seven, but was also already over 100 pitches. He was hit for with Spencer in the top 8th with unimpressive results. Ramos snapped a 2-out single after that, and suddenly Warren Polito, who was actually Warren Polito IV, which explained how a boy born in '96 had a name of a boy born a hundred years ago, walked the bases full against Cookie and Mora, bringing up Gonzalez. C'mon Jon! We need it! He would face lefty Lisuarte Paradela in place of Polito, ran a full count, held still on a pitch inside, and got the call. Bases-loaded walk, 20th RBI for Gonzalez (yaaay…), and Roberts had a posthumous claim to a W. The Raccoons actually got two more runs on Rafael Gomez' single to left, also in a full count, before Stalker popped out foul, which was so going to help his .162 batting average. The Coons put the game away anyway; Jonathan Snyder pitched two scoreless innings, and Terry Kopp actually hit an RBI double after entering in the double switch that also brought on Snyder. Kopp's double plated Daniel Bullock in the ninth, who had drawn a walk off Paradela. 4-0 Coons. Ramos 3-4, BB; Gomez 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Stalker 2-4; Kopp 1-1, 2B, RBI; Roberts 7.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 4 K, W (4-2); Snyder 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 3 K, SV (1);

Raccoons (20-9) @ Miners (11-17) – May 8-10, 2026

Like the Loggers, the Miners were 8 1/2 games out in their division. Like the Raccoons, they had split a 4-game set during the week. Like the Loggers, they had a bottom-three rotation coupled with a decent but not overwhelming bullpen. And unlike the Raccoons, they had really gotten the short end of the stick in interleague play between these two teams over the last 50 years, winning games against the Raccoons at only a .315 pace. They had won two out of three the last time these teams faced off, though, which was back in 2023.

Projected matchups:
Rico Gutierrez (4-0, 1.73 ERA) vs. Tadasu Abe (4-1, 4.12 ERA)
Kyle Anderson (2-2, 5.55 ERA) vs. Ramiro Benavides (1-3, 5.50 ERA)
Lance Legleiter (2-2, 3.57 ERA) vs. Mel Lira (1-2, 4.28 ERA)

Benavides was the only southpaw starter we would get this week, while Sunday's assignment, Mel Lira, had a nickname that would fit this team much better: "Dinnerplate". I wonder why he had that! There was a reunion with former Raccoon Tadasu Abe, who was the only hurler from the Coons' late-10s trifecta with Toner and Santos that was still pitching in relatively decent fashion. He was on his third FL team since we had sent him to Nashville during the '21 season and was doing decent work, but not overwhelming anybody. He had lost 14 games last year, and had lost 11+ for four straight years after never losing more than ten in Portland.

Game 1
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Spencer – CF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – RF Gomez – LF Carmona – C Tovias – 3B Bullock – P Gutierrez
PIT: LF J. Lopez – 3B D. Jones – CF de la Riva – RF B. Ortega – 2B Tomlinson – 1B Keen – C A. Baker – SS Becker – P Abe

Rico had won his last start against the Crusaders mainly for a 10-run outburst by the Raccoons, but had pitched gruesomely, and that didn't change for this game in Pittsburgh. The Miners got a run off him in the first when he issued a 4-pitch leadoff walk to Jorge Lopez, who eventually scored on Bobby Ortega's single, then allowed a single to Josh Keen and a 2-run homer to Adam Baker in the bottom 2nd. The Coons' offense was nowhere to be seen and the ground was opening up again underneath Gutierrez in the bottom 3rd. Carlos de la Riva and Bobby Ortega hit sharp 1-out singles, and then Bruce Tomlinson reached on Gomez' error to load them up. Somehow, the baseball gods spared Rico the fatal lightning strike right there and then; Keen popped out to first base, while Baker grounded out to Ramos, stranding all three runners.

Abe held the Coons to two base hits in the first five innings, the top halves of which could just as well have been skipped altogether. Maybe Ramos' leadoff single in the sixth could bring about a vague hint of threat. Spencer flew out to center, but Mora got a double to fall in, and now the tying run drew up, with home run monster (3!) Jon Gonzalez at the plate. He hit an extremely impressive foul pop that gave the Miners two outs in the inning, but Gomez found a hole between Dan Jones and Jeff Becker for a 2-out, 2-run single… and then Cookie popped out. With Rico only lasting six innings, the Coons pieced two more frames together from Boles and Mudge – remember we still had the short bullpen with O'Dell's corpse lingering on the roster – but as the ninth inning dawned they didn't look much like winners. Right-hander Erik David would try and do the honors against the 5-6-7 batters. Rafael Gomez led off by hitting an absolute rocket to deep center… and had it spared by de la Riva. Oh well, if we can't even get that ball to fall in… Cookie singled on a 3-1 pitch, and that brought up Tovias, who so far had not gotten the ball into play in fair territory in this game, then peppered a 1-1 pitch to deep right. Deep, deep – gone! That one … came out of NOWHERE!! This one took Rico off the hook and threatened to make Jeff Mudge a winner if only Ricky Ohl could hold on this time. He walked Chris Mendoza, he walked Bobby Torres. Jorge Lopez hit a 1-out single, and the bags were loaded. Oh why… Left-hander Danny Santillano would pinch-hit for the fallen David in the #2 hole, and in desperation mode the Coons threw Billy Brotman into the game. He got two strikes on Santillano until the Miner put the ball in play after all, a fly to short-ish centerfield. Mora came in a little bit for the catch, timed it well, and lasered home when Mendoza tagged and went for home plate. Tovias was served perfectly by Abel Mora and punched out Mendoza with the runner's leg about six inches from home. Ballgame! 4-3 Coons! Spencer 2-4; Carmona 2-4; Mudge 1.1 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K, W (1-0);

Game 2
POR: 2B Spencer – CF Mora – LF Gomez – 1B Gonzalez – C Tovias – RF Borg – SS Stalker – 3B Bullock – P Anderson
PIT: LF J. Lopez – 1B Santillano – C Henley – CF de la Riva – 2B Tomlinson – SS Becker – RF C. Mendoza – 3B D. Jones – P Benavides

Benavides had more walks (28) than strikeouts (22), and that in only 37.2 innings pitched. It was all about being ****ing patient and then getting timely hits. Top 1st, Spencer singled, Mora walked, they pulled off a double steal, and then Benavides came mighty close to KKK the Koons, whiffing up Gomez and Tovias, but still spilled a run when Jon Gonzalez grounded out on a 2-2 pitch. Unfortunately, with Kyle Anderson pitching, a 1-0 lead was not going to stand up. Anderson got rid of the first two batters in the bottom 1st, then got bombed by J.J. Henley, which was one thing to do and was only human. It was however not acceptable to concede another three 2-out base hits, a 2-out walk, one more run, and then require Stalker to get the last out from Dan Jones with a really nifty play after going to two strikes on five of those last six batters. With two strikes, Anderson couldn't topple a glass of water, let alone get one by that would convince the umpire. The game was tied again by the third inning, in which Benavides walked three, including Anderson as the first Coon up, and plated Anderson to tie the game with a wild pitch that sent batter, catcher, and umpire scattering. The concept of "timely" hit did elude the Raccoons, though, and they let him off the hook there.

On to the fourth, where Greg Borg drew a leadoff walk, then got forced out by Stalker when he couldn't hold still in a ****ing 3-ball count. Stalker made it to third base when Henley threw the ball past either middle infielder on Stalker's stolen base attempt, and Stalker scored when Daniel Bullock legged out a grounder to Tomlinson at the far edge of the infield dirt. Never mind that Bullock collapsed in a heap right behind the base after colliding with the first baseman and clamored violently while clutching his paw. This sucked, since Matt Nunley was still nursing that ankle, but he claimed to be good enough to finish out the game, which was in the fourth inning and could well go 18 in a 15-13 bonanza. Nunley was bunted to second base, but didn't make any attempts to score on Spencer's single to center. Abel Mora came through in a full count, though, singling to right center to extend the lead to 4-2. Gomez then popped up a 3-1 pitch, causing my raw ire to flare up again and a mirror to shatter in the bar where I watched the game. It's all okay, all teams know where to send the bills to…

Damage control protocol active, the Coons now had a limp third baseman, a 4-2 lead, and Anderson still going in the fourth inning. The lead was taken care of first when Santillano hit a 2-run homer off Anderson in the bottom 5th. The Coons had runners on the corners in the sixth when Gomez ran a 3-0 count against right-hander Dan McLin, then popped up again! GODDAMNIT HOLD THE **** STILL YOU ***HOLE!! To no avail, the third out was recorded, again. Somehow, the Coons dragged Anderson's body through six without getting into trailing mode, but nothing about this game had been even remotely pretty so far. Maybe Jon Gonzalez' leadoff double against Armando Pena in the seventh could get us somewhere nice? Tovias was walked intentionally for weird reason, with Borg flying out to right then. Tim Stalker hit a sharp grounder at first baseman Adam Baker, who was totally eaten up by it. The ball went through him, up the line, and all the way into the corner! Gonzalez scored, Tovias scored, and Stalker slid into third base with a 2-run triple! He would not score after Nunley whiffed, Kopp got nailed, and Spencer grounded out to short, and the Raccoons had precious little bullpen available to find nine more outs. It was not certain they would… Surginer allowed singles to Henley and Tomlinson in the bottom 7th, then got a grounder from Josh Keen to Spencer. The Coons tried to turn two, but Stalker was taken out by Tomlinson in a wild collision. Caps, gloves, and suspenders went flying, and in the end, Stalker picked himself out of the dirt, and Tomlinson didn't, being eventually stretchered off with a broken foot. Bobby Torres replaced him while Surginer struck out Mendoza to end the inning. Nobody came forth with more offense for Portland, and after Brotman did the eighth, we were back with struggling Ricky Ohl in the ninth. AND the middle of the order. Henley singled. De la Riva singled. Oh dear baseball gods, HELP!! Torres flew out to right. Ortega singled up the middle. Mendoza singled to right. That made it 6-5 with the bags full and one out. For the second time in the series, Ricky Ohl was yanked with the bases loaded. This time Jeff Mudge was ejected from the pen in a hurry. Dan Jones hit a 2-2 to center, Mora with another catch. He again brought in a throw that looked good, but this time de la Riva bowled over Tovias, who lost the ball (but at least no limbs). The game was tied, though. Then Mudge served up a 3-run homer to Adam Baker, and the Coons lost, absolutely miserably. 9-6 Miners. Spencer 3-4, BB; Bullock 1-2, RBI;

That one hurt, badly. And the Elks are closing in.

It would also help tremendously if the Druid could finally sort through all the injuries here. MENA! MENA!!! Where is he!?

Mark Roberts says he went to get body bags. Uh-oh.

For the moment, the Raccoons had to place Daniel Bullock on the DL with a fractured thumb. He was going to miss a month or so.

To keep the bench from falling over due to a lack of weight on the far end, the Raccoons called up Justin Gerace, batting just .191 in AAA.

Game 3
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Spencer – CF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – LF Gomez – 3B Nunley – RF Kopp – C Tovias – P Legleiter
PIT: 3B D. Jones – 1B Santillano – C Henley – RF B. Ortega – SS Becker – LF C. Mendoza – CF L. Otero – 2B B. Torres – P Lira

The Raccoons were retired in order the first time through the lineup while the Miners seemed to start every inning with a man on base, which was all so comforting. They only scored once in those early innings when Danny Santillano hit a 2-out double over Terry Kopp to plate Bobby Torres in the third inning. The Raccoons saw ten of theirs retired in order before they reached base, and then got both Spencer and Mora aboard with a pair of infield singles. And then Jon Gonzalez hit into a double play…

Both teams hit a leadoff triple in the fifth inning, and both actually got that run in, stretching the score to 2-1 Miners after the fifth, and Ramos hit an infield single in the top 6th, only to get doubled up by Spencer. So if anyone dared counting, that made for four base hits for the Coons, only one of which had left the infield, and two of those had been blackballed back to the dugout by their own team. Thank goodness we had absolutely no ambitions! And yes, the Miners were also dumb, but … ugh! Jeff Becker got hit in the bottom 6th, and then Chris Mendoza had an infield single as it was just swarming of those things in Pittsburgh on Sunday afternoons, apparently. Leo Otero grounded to Spencer, with the Coons too slow to turn two, but then Torres grounded at Ramos, and this time they DID turn two. Two teams that couldn't drink a glass of milk without adult supervision, punching the air in front of them – what a sight to behold. Top 7th, Gonzalez singled, Gomez hit into a double play. It just kept going! In the worst game ever witnessed by humanity, the Raccoons suffocated in a storage room full of oxygen containers, taking a series loss and their first losing week of the year in turn. 2-1 Miners. Legleiter 7.0 IP, 8 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 2 K;

In other news

May 4 – CIN SP Adam Moran (4-1, 4.63 ERA) spins a 2-hit shutout in a 3-0 win over the Rebels.
May 5 – OCT 2B/SS Alex Serrato (.269, 9 HR, 18 RBI) achieves the rare feat of homering three times in a single game with three solo shots in the Thunder's 5-2 win over the Knights. It is the 48th 3-or-more-homers game in ABL history, and the second for the Thunder franchise after Jose Jimenez' effort in 2018.
May 7 – The Rebels bring out a pair of 6-run innings, just barely enough to beat the Cyclones, 14-10. RIC LF/RF/1B Dan Brown (.203, 2 HR, 13 RBI) drives in seven on three base hits, including a first-inning grand slam off CIN SP Diego Mendoza jr. (5-0, 3.06 ERA), who allows six runs in three innings, yet grabs a no-decision.
May 7 – Despite 13 base hits (including a double and a triple) of their own, the Warriors lose a 1-0 game in regulation against the Gold Sox.
May 10 – The Rebels will be without RF/CF Dan Dalton (.339, 2 HR, 14 RBI) after the 29-year-old has suffered a broken thumb and will be out for at least a month.
May 10 – The Scorpions trade RF/1B/LF Roberto Amador (.385, 1 HR, 4 RBI in 15 AB) and #39 prospect SP Francisco Colmenarez to the Loggers for SP Vincent Alfaro (2-4, 5.02 ERA).

Complaints and stuff

Nope, not a playoff team. Not much of a team at all. Some of them maybe not even alive. Mena, check pulses. – The pulse! (motions weirdly) – That… no! No the thing at the… - Ah, just give me that! (rips away the sphygmomanometer)

So few surprises. Not a surprise that Matt Nunley keeled over immediately after having a hot week. Same for O'Dell, who was just about to get serious playing time, and keeled over. Not a surprise that Ricky Ohl basically retired nobody after I patted him on the head last Sunday. So few surprises. Well, at least the home run race is still raging, but Jon Gonzalez with three now has a pretty daft lead on all the guys with two… I must say I am a little bit surprised that the Elks are chasing us down (and not a more renowned team), but that's the pretty thing about the baseball gods – always a new way to get poked in the bum by that burning trident! How can a team with a .275 batting average be this lame in the run column? And they *run* even well! We are at 26 stolen bases already! Which is 16 more than our homer total. I don't know. Much of this defies any sort of logic.

By the way, the league lead in homers is nine, and yes, that is the value for an INDIVIDUAL PLAYER. Two actually, Vancouver's Tony Coca and Oklahoma's Alex Serrato. We will thankfully face neither of those teams next week, although maybe we can get swept by the Indians on the weekend.

And with a rout on Monday and Tovias' late miracle on Friday, the Coons are now 10-0 in series-opening games. Pretty close to .500 in all other games, though. This could be improved!

The Raccoons arrived back in Portland with Daniel Bullock in a thumb cast, which let Cristiano Carmona to lament that this sucked because they now couldn't do the thing with the hose and the sponge anymore. This confused me a whole lot, because neither were classic baseball equipment, but they trudged / wheeled off together before I could get further into the hose and sponge thing.

Fun Fact: On May 7, 1996, Miguel Lopez lasted just two pitches in that Tuesday's game against the Warriors, leaving with a torn rotator cuff. The Raccoons' Gabriel De La Rosa took the 3-1 loss in relief. Vern Kinnear had three hits. Nobody else had much for the Raccoons.

That was the 32nd games of the season and the loss dropped the 1996 Raccoons to 21-11. Lopez eventually came back, though not in time to be of use to the 1996 Coons anymore that went from 21-11 to 108-54 and the World Series.

Let's just not get into what came afterwards.