[Westheim]

Raccoons (35-22) vs. Canadiens (35-19) – June 9-11, 2026

As soon as I was done spending the entire Monday cursing, the Elks came in for a key 3-game set that started Tuesday. They sat second in runs scored in the Continental League, plating 5.2 runs per game, third in home runs and led the league in stolen bases, and their pitching was average enough to not be much of a stepping stone. They were sixth in runs allowed, and their rotation was even fourth by ERA. The season series was even at two.

Projected matchups:
Lance Legleiter (2-5, 4.43 ERA) vs. Antonio Muniz (5-3, 3.96 ERA)
Mark Roberts (8-2, 1.90 ERA) vs. Andrew Gudeman (6-3, 2.84 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (7-1, 2.72 ERA) vs. Jesse Bowsher (7-1, 2.50 ERA)

"Furball"(??) Muniz was their only left-handed starter. We would not get eyeballs on reconstruction project Frank Kelly (5-1, 3.90 ERA) unless they would do some crazy skips.

The Raccoons made a roster move prior to this series, sending Nick Derks (1-0, 7.56 ERA) to St. Petersburg and calling up 31-year-old Alvin Smith, who had pitched to a 5.94 ERA in St. Pete, but with incredibly crummy defense behind him (.325 BABIP). The right-handed Smith had been an insurance signing prior to the season and could reasonably either start or relief.

Game 1
VAN: RF Wojnarowski – 3B Anton – CF Coca – LF A. Torres – SS Calfee – 1B Myles – 2B Gura – C Tanzillo – P A. Muniz
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Spencer – LF Gomez – 1B Gonzalez – RF Kopp – C O'Dell – CF Mora – 3B Nunley – P Legleiter

We were very much hoping for a changed team with the Elks in town for this series of utmost importance, but it sure didn't look like it. Yes, the team staked Legleiter to a 2-0 lead by the third inning, but they did that only on a Spencer single, which I probably should elaborate on. The third inning was pretty much over when Alberto Ramos grounded to Matt Anton, except that Anton's throw went over the head of Adan Myles for a 2-base error. Spencer singled in Ramos, then stole second, then scored on Chris Tanzillo's throwing error on Rafael Gomez's ****ty grounder. Those were two absolute gift runs, there was no other way to express it. So far the Elks had not amounted to much offense either, although Brian Wojanrowski had already been an annoyance with a 2-out triple in the top 3rd. Anton had struck out after that, though, and in fact Legleiter had ended every inning with a K so far, and he would also ring up Muniz with Adan Myles at third base to end the fifth inning, although in between John Calfee hit into a double play after a 1-out walk to Alex Torres in the fourth. There had been stern reminders to all Coons pitchers to not walk Tony Coca and Alex Torres – both were vying for the league lead in stolen sacks (with Alberto Ramos and others), and the terrible thing about Coca was that he had 15 homers (or in other words, a Coons team's worth) on the season and was a terrible threat to any team that struggled to score anything at all.

Legleiter staved off a leadoff walk to Wojnarowski in the sixth after the Raccoons had gotten Ramos and Spencer on with two outs in the bottom 5th, without Rafael Gomez getting them in, grounding out to Ted Gura instead. Mora made a strong play on Coca's soft fly to center in that sixth inning, and the Coons continued to paw themselves from one dicey situation to the next. That next one was a tough spot indeed; John Calfee hit a leadoff triple past Gomez in the seventh, and Legleiter lost Myles to a walk. He was removed at once, with Jeff Mudge tasked with cleanup duties. He conceded the lead run on a Gura sac fly, then whiffed Tanzillo and got Muniz to pop out, thus preserved at least a 2-1 edge, and who knows, maybe the Coons would find another base hit or two to add to the THREE they had enjoyed so far. Indeed, Matt Nunley hit a 1-out single in the bottom 7th! And then Alfaro hit into a double play. In exchange, Wojnarowski hit a leadoff jack off Josh Boles in the eighth, putting the score even at two. The agony.

Kevin Surginer walked Anton and allowed an infield single to Torres, the runners pulled off a double steal, and somehow the Coons didn't lose all their fur instantly. PH Curtis Hargraves, a lefty, struck out on a 1-2 pitch in the dirt, and Gomez retired Myles hustling in and on the run, ending the top 8th. The bases were loaded in the top of the ninth, with Gura's leadoff single against Surginer, then two walks issued by Brotman to PH Tim Campbell and Anton, and now Tony Coca was up with two outs and the game very much on the line. The Coons moved to Snyder, he of Sunday-in-New-York infamy, and he secured a grounder to Ramos to end the inning. The Coons had nothing going still, but Snyder got through the 10th without ALLOWING ANOTHER FIVE RUNS. Bottom 10th, the Coons were still trying to reach the nuts that Sean Carlsen (6.27 ERA) had in his pockets. Mora reached on a bloop single to begin the inning and was bunted to second by Nunley. Cookie batted in the #9 hole, but popped out where most singles would do, and Ramos grounded out to Chris Brill at short. Thusly came about the Raccoons debut of Alvin Smith in the 11th inning and he retired the bottom of the order 1-2-3. Bottom 11th, Spencer with a leadoff single against Carlsen. He was then caught stealing. The Raccoons lost Matt Nunley to an arm ailment by the 12th inning, Gerster replacing him, but the game was far from over. Alvin Smith held out to the 14th inning before O'Dell's throwing error put Ivan Morales (a reliever…) on base, and Matt Anton whooped a fastball over the wall to break the 2-2 tie. The same Ivan Morales had to get through the 2-3-4 batters in the bottom of the inning to end the game, struck out Spencer, then allowed a single to Gomez. Gonzalez struck out (going to 0-6), but an 0-5 Terry Kopp found a single in his bat. O'Dell to the plate, also 0-for-5, and with **** to make good. Well, he didn't. Ted Gura handled his grounder, and the Raccoons were smitten. 4-2 Canadiens. Spencer 2-5, RBI; Gomez 2-6;

Infernal **** team.

The Druid recommended DL'ing Matt Nunley with a tired arm, which was the sort of "soft" diagnosis that would soon lead to amputation, but what was there to do… with Nunley to the DL, the Raccoons recalled Daniel Bullock from AAA, where he had gone 0-for-7 – perfect fit for this team.

Game 2
VAN: RF Wojnarowski – 3B Anton – CF Coca – LF A. Torres – SS Calfee – 1B Myles – 2B Gura – C Tanzillo – P Gudeman
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Spencer – CF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – LF Kopp – RF Alfaro – C Tovias – 3B Bullock – P Roberts

Brian Wojnarowski hit a first-pitch single to begin the game, then stole two bases before Coca got him in with a groundout. Elias Tovias didn't get a throw off once. The Raccoons began their offensive day with three straight singles from Ramos, Spencer, and Mora, which already tied the game, until deflation kicked in again with full force as Gonzalez struck out and Kopp smacked into a double play. The Elks had three hits off a helpless Roberts in the top 2nd, with Chris Tanzillo singling home Calfee (single) and Gura (double) with two outs, putting the Coons in a 3-1 hole. The Raccoons even loaded the bases in the bottom 2nd on an Alfaro walk, Roberts double(!), Ramos single, and when Spencer singled up the middle in that situation he scored one run, but Roberts was thrown out at home plate by Tony Coca, ending the inning. The following inning saw Kopp and Alfaro in scoring position, but Tovias flew out ****tily to Torres to keep them stranded.

That was only the normal prelude to the real deal, a colossality of a fourth inning that hadn't been seen in a while and probably would never be seen again, at least not by me, once I found the gun that used to be in the top drawer of my desk. Alex Torres drew a leadoff walk, which was not outside the usual misery, then got forced on a fielder's choice. One out. The Coons would not get another one for hours. Roberts walked Myles, drilled Gura, threw a wild pitch with the bags full, walked Tanzillo anyway, then walked Gudeman to force in another run. Wojnarowski flew to left on a 2-2 pitch, Kopp over, touched it, and dropped it. Which was the end for Roberts, and ultimately also for the inning, Ricky Ohl getting Anton to pop out and Ramos to catch Coca's scathed liner. The damage, of course, was done, now in a 7-2 deficit that the Coons would never, ever make up. In fact, they wouldn't score another run until with two outs in the ninth inning, which was obviously too late. Ricky Ohl had to pitch long relief, which worked somewhat decently, while Kevin Surginer and Josh Boles both failed to keep their stuff tight, each conceding a run in the eighth and ninth, respectively. Adan Myles homered off Surginer, which was – not for Surginer, or Myles, but for the big picture – another thousand stabs right into the heart. 9-3 Canadiens. Spencer 4-5, RBI; Mora 2-4, BB, RBI; O'Dell (PH) 1-1, RBI; Alfaro 2-3, BB, 2B; Ohl 2.2 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 3 K;

With a boom, heads rolled the very night after this loss. Elias Tovias (.203, 3 HR, 20 RBI) was sent packing his **** and was off to St. Pete in the morning. Jake Burrows was hastily recalled. Same for Omar Alfaro (.224, 0 HR, 7 RBI); he was replaced by Juan Magallanes, who was batting .292/.426/.369 in St. Pete. Finally, Lance Legleiter was axed and replaced by Rin Nomura, the Japanese international free agent who had been so-so for the Alley Cats, and who would make his ABL debut on the weekend, unless I found my gun before the weekend and would indiscriminately murder them all.

Game 3
VAN: RF Wojnarowski – 3B Anton – CF Coca – LF A. Torres – SS Calfee – 1B Myles – 2B Gura – C Tanzillo – P Bowsher
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Spencer – LF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – RF Kopp – C O'Dell – CF Magallanes – 3B Gerster – P Gutierrez

To be fair, deep inside, I knew Rico had no chance against this lineup in which Wojnarowski was the only left-handed bat, and Rico walked him on four pitches to begin the game. An Anton triple and a sac fly by Coca put the Elks 2-0 in front at once, and that would be the sweep, no doubt about that. Ramos drew a leadoff walk in the bottom 1st, was caught stealing, and nothing surprised me anymore. No Raccoons catcher would ever throw out a runner in this series, but let's not get into that. Rico got piled on in the fourth with a Coca single, a stolen base (…), then Calfee's RBI double and Myles' 2-run homer, which extended the score to 5-0. The Raccoons didn't put up even the vaguest of threats for five innings until Mora and Gonzalez hit soft singles to begin the sixth inning. Kopp flew out to center, and the bases were loaded when Bowsher drilled O'Dell. Hey, the tying run in the on-deck circle … if you dared calling Butch Gerster as much. Magallanes' groundout put a run on the board, but Gerster struck out, and the difference was still a slam. Despite their boy having been beaten badly quite early, the Coons had to run out Gutierrez until he exhausted his pitch count, thanks to two horrendous performances that had completely uprooted the pen right after the off day. When Gutierrez was clobbered with back-to-back-to-back home runs by Myles, Gura, and Tanzillo in the seventh, we considered 86 pitches "exhaustion". Jeff Mudge got six outs, with the Elks scoring none but stranding four, while the Raccoons had two on in the seventh and hit into a double play, then had two on in the eighth and hit only air until it was over. Ramos hit a 1-out triple in the ninth. And J.R. Hreha rung up Spencer and Mora to prevent even that runner from scoring. 9-1 Canadiens. Ramos 2-3, BB, 3B; O'Dell 2-3;

There are no words.

Raccoons (35-25) vs. Cyclones (29-32) – June 12-14, 2026

The Portland Forsakens would next welcome the Cyclones in the next round of interleague madness. They had a -3 run differential we were a good pick to polish up for them, and sat fourth in runs scored and tenth in runs allowed in the Federal League. Once of their more amazing players, Nando Maiello, was on the DL, but apart from that they were pretty much complete.

Projected matchups:
Kyle Anderson (4-2, 3.30 ERA) vs. Diego Mendoza jr. (8-3, 4.13 ERA)
Dan Delgadillo (5-1, 2.31 ERA) vs. Josh Irwin (3-3, 4.67 ERA)
Rin Nomura (0-0) vs. Adam Moran (6-4, 5.01 ERA)

Right, right, left; loss, loss, loss.

Game 1
CIN: 3B Rangel – SS Eisenberg – RF Booker – LF Meade – 1B E. Moreno – 2B R. Maldonado – CF Bob O'Dell – C Roush – P D. Mendoza jr.
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Spencer – LF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – RF Kopp – C Br. O'Dell – CF Magallanes – 3B Gerster – P Anderson

After two hits and a walk, the Coons pulled up Mendoza to bat with three on and two outs in the top 2nd of a scoreless game, knowing little that all runners would score. Mendoza doubled past Abel Mora, and the third runner, Tim Roush, scored on an error by Ramos, putting the Coons into an early 3-0 grave. With a soft single by Raul Maldonado, Bob O'Dell (distantly related to Brett O'Dell, but with their respective partial clans in a blood feud dating back to 1720s Ireland) getting nicked, and another incredibly soft single hit by Roush, the bases were loaded with nobody out in the fourth inning. Kyle Anderson apparently wasn't going to get anybody out, conceding another RBI single to the opposing pitcher, then a sac fly to Ricardo Rangel, who had 18 steals and was already angry to not get on base. That put the lead at 5-0, with two on base still, but somebody popped up, yada-yada… what's up with the Coons, though? Well, they had two aboard with two outs in the bottom 4th, but instead of instigating some 2-out trouble with Kopp and Brett O'Dell waiting, Magallanes struck out. Ray Meade homered off Anderson in the fifth, the unsuccessful starter's final inning in this particular awful game. The teasing Coons then put up a 3-spot in the bottom 5th made up out of Stalker's pinch-hit double, an RBI single by Spencer, then Mora's home run to center that came across a bit cynical after all the extra innings on Tuesday in which no Furball could ever lay wood on a ball. And now, it didn't matter anymore. Never mind the 3-run homer Jaden Booker hit off Jeff Mudge in the sixth inning… The Cyclones knew that was enough and would not tear out a limb in the final three innings against the depleted Raccoons pen, while the Raccoons offense remained as rotten as they'd always been. 9-3 Cyclones. O'Dell 2-3, BB; Stalker (PH) 1-1, 2B; Ohl 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 3 K;

Game 2
CIN: 3B Rangel – SS Eisenberg – RF Booker – LF Meade – 1B E. Moreno – 2B R. Maldonado – CF Bennett – C Roush – P Irwin
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Spencer – RF Gomez – 1B Kopp – C Br. O'Dell – LF Carmona – CF Magallanes – 3B Bullock – P Delgadillo

For a nice change, a Raccoons starter balked in the go-ahead run for the opposing team, thus occurring in the second inning when Eddie Moreno was hauled in from third base by the home plate umpire after some sort of twitch or other by Delgadillo that the ump didn't like. I hadn't seen anything for sure, but then again my eyes were wet and my vision blurry and that hadn't changed in days. Apart from the Moreno double in the second, a Ray Meade double in the fourth, offense was slow; from the Coons anyway, and the Cyclones also were waiting for the right moment to strike, although nothing seemed easier strikeable than Delgadillo, who struck out nobody until Frank Eisenberg hewed over a 2-2 pitch in the dirt with runners on the corners and two outs in the fifth inning. Funnily enough, Josh Irwin struck out NOBODY through five innings, and the Coons still looked like frozen arse. None of this mattered much once Ray Meade followed up Booker's leadoff single in the sixth with a homer to left-center. A 3-0 gap was nothing that the Coons could bridge unless the Cyclones would hit six batters in the same inning. No such thing occurred, and the Raccoons also didn't get one of those strange new developments, and "extra-base" hit – whatever the mercy that was! – until the bottom of the eighth when Delgadillo batted with two outs and nobody on (and why would there be somebody on?) and doubled into the gap. He went nine. He was definitely the best Coon on the field this Saturday. And it helped him nothing. The only rally the Raccoons amounted to in the bottom of the ninth was a 2-out infield single by Kopp before ex-Coon Troy Charters rung up O'Dell to end the game. 3-0 Cyclones. Bullock 2-3; Delgadillo 9.0 IP, 8 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 0 BB, 2 K, L (5-2) and 1-2, 2B;

Game 3
CIN: C Roush – SS Eisenberg – RF Booker – LF Meade – 2B R. Maldonado – CF Bennett – 3B Garner – 1B E. Moreno – P Moran
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Spencer – LF Gomez – 1B Gonzalez – RF Kopp – 3B Bullock – CF Mora – C Burrows – P Nomura

While the Coons amounted to the minimum of batters in three innings – a single by Abel Mora being erased when he was caught stealing – the Cyclones' Alvin Bennett greeted Rin Nomura rather rudely to the big leagues with a solo homer in the second inning. That was the only tally through three, during which Nomura struck out nobody. By the fourth, Meade homered to make it 3-0, and why were people even still coming to the ballpark? The diehard fools got their cookie in the bottom of the fourth inning, which Alberto Ramos led off with his first career home run, a long one to rightfield that cut the score to 3-1. Yaay, Ramos! And off a lefty! However, as honorable his efforts were, as futile they were, too. No Raccoon batted with a man on base for another hour, and while technically Jon Gonzalez hit a homer in the seventh off Moran, that still kept the Coons in the L column, then 3-2. Nomura lasted eight, getting a groundout from Meade with runners on the corners after nailing Tim Roush and walking Jaden Booker in that final inning, and while the deficit wasn't big, I was dead-certain that the 0-6 week was logged already, at least in the book of the baseball gods. In accordance with that, Moran struck out Mora and Burrows in the bottom 8th, then got Stalker to ground out. A bored Jonathan Snyder also struck out two in a perfect ninth, bringing up the top of the order for late redemption in the bottom 9th, facing Charters again. Ramos hit a looper past Eisenberg to bring up the winning run in Spencer, who had yet to homer this year, and maybe this was the day? Nope, bloop single to left. After Gomez failed to bunt three times, the sign was taken off lest he broke his nose with a upwards bunt. He grounded out instead, but that put the tying and winning runs in scoring position with one out for Jon Gonzalez, who was NOT walked intentionally, but DID strike out instead. All eyes on Kopp! 1-2 pitch low chopped into play to the right side, Maldonado lunged and missed it, Ramos in to score, Spencer waved around behind him, the throw from Booker … - late! It's a walkoff! 4-3 Blighters. Ramos 2-4, HR, RBI; Gonzalez 2-4, HR, RBI; Kopp 1-4, 2 RBI; Nomura 8.0 IP, 5 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 2 BB, 3 K;

Whee…

In other news

June 9 – RIC C Matt Dehne (.219, 2 HR, 22 RBI) has four hits and as many RBI as the Rebels this time win the Battle of Nashville, 16-2.
June 9 – The Bayhawks trade OF/3B Jaden Booker (.300, 4 HR, 26 RBI) to the Cyclones for two prospects, including #32 SP Gilberto Rendon.
June 10 – SFW RF Justin Quinn (.247, 6 HR, 15 RBI) could be out for two months with a strained hamstring.
June 10 – SAC LF/RF Doug Stross (.338, 2 HR, 41 RBI) has three hits and plates five runners in the Scorpions' 13-4 rout of the Gold Sox.
June 11 – MIL CF/RF Ian Coleman (.271, 1 HR, 25 RBI) will be out for three months with a torn abdominal muscle, the Loggers being thus more or less eliminated from contention.
June 11 – The Loggers also lose a 10-inning, 3-2 walkoff affair to the Titans on a passed ball charged to C Jim Young (.307, 5 HR, 23 RBI).
June 11 – A fractured rib will put ATL INF Tony Jimenez (.222, 2 HR, 16 RBI) out of action for the rest of the month.
June 12 – Las Vegas' Danny Serrano (.387, 6 HR, 27 RBI) extends his hitting streak to 35 games with a 1-hit outing in a 4-1 loss to the Buffaloes.
June 12 – NYC SP Eddie Cannon (6-4, 4.70 ERA) carries a no-hitter into the eighth inning before a single by SFW 3B/SS Andy Walker (.241, 2 HR, 13 RBI) ends his bid. Cannon has to settle for a combined 1-hitter.
June 13 – The Canadiens trade for the Loggers' SP Warren Polito (6-6, 2.89 ERA), parting with #81 prospect SP Zack Ward.
June 13 – OCT CF Dave Garcia (.295, 8 HR, 29 RBI) is probably out until August after straining an oblique.
June 14 – TOP 1B Ieyoshi Nomura (.241, 1 HR, 10 RBI) reaches the 3,000 hits club not a second too soon; the 42-year-old goes 2-for-4 in the Buffaloes' 6-5 win over the Aces, including a 2-run homer run, the 81st of his career, although that was not the milestone hit. Nomura, who won his only batting title in his age 38 season with the Gold Sox, is a career .305/.385/.399 batter with 1,040 RBI and an interesting Hall of Fame case. If elected, he would likely be inducted as a Raccoon, spending 12 years over two stints with the Portland team out of his 23-year career.
June 14 – The week is over, but the hitting streak of Las Vegan Danny Serrano (.381, 6 HR, 28 RBI) very much isn't after a fourth inning RBI double in a 6-5 loss to the Buffaloes. Serrano has now connected in 37 consecutive games, which is already the fifth-longest hitting streak in ABL history.

Complaints and stuff

There are … no words.

As a quick overview – between Josh Boles' only pitch on Tuesday being taken well yard by Brian Wojnarowski to break a 2-1 lead, and Terry Kopp's last-ditch score-flipping single on Sunday, the Raccoons didn't hold a lead for a single breathing batter, let alone an inning.

Such agony has not been seen in Portland since probably '86 or so when we fought the Elks for most of the summer, then got swept in consecutive 4-game sets. Nothing compares. Nothing! The Ray Gilbert home runs of 2012 don't compare. Juan Diaz's three wild pitches are a joke. Keith Ayers out at home is a mere footnote. Glenn Johnston dropping Ed Parrell's fly is cute. The Dennis Fried deal, a masterpiece.

Those games in '86 were at least close games. Nothing was close about this midweek series. They won three games, we won none. They hit seven homers, we hit none. They stole eight bases, we stole two when they weren't paying attention. They drew nine more walks, but we had seven fewer strikeouts. Despite being swept in the 3-game set, the Raccoons totaled as many base hits as the Elks in the series – 26. But if you need three singles and a wild pitch FOR EVERY ****ING RUN … well, then you probably ain't gonna ****ing score much. I don't know.

I know nothing. And I have never known anything.

Gilberto Rendon, sent to San Francisco in the Booker deal on Tuesday, was of course a Raccoons farmhand. We sent him to the Cyclones in 2024 to get paws on Terry Kopp. Boy did that ever work out for us.

Fun Fact: Danny Serrano's hitting streak is the second streak of *more* than 30 games in this decade.

Cookie Carmona hit in 32 straight games in April and May of 2020.

Those were the times.