[Westheim]

Once I had slept for 37 hours, half of that apparently leaned against the shoulder of Slappy on the trusty brown couch, Cristiano Carmona informed me that his family was in fact not from Costa Rica, but from Panama, to which I sleepily replied something coy and thoughtful along the lines of “Panama, banana, what’s the difference…”

So Cristiano is ticked off now, but at least we have a pitcher. I call that a win.

We were just a few days removed from arbitration hearings when I stretched my old paws and began to pour a shot of the fine stuff into a coffee thoughtfully provided by Maud. Also, a couple of laxatives.

The Raccoons were done with arbitration; all their cases had been dealt with in one way or another, and while we would offer arbitration to Mario Rosas, he would not take us up on the offer. The only other free agent was Rico Gutierrez.

The most urgent concern thus became the fifth slot in the rotation, closely followed by a backup catcher other than David Tinnin. For the former assignment, we had already talked about all the options we had in the house, none of which seemed appealing, prudent, or even sane. The Jason Gurneys, Travis Coffees, and Darren Browns of the world would not hold up under live fire this time, either. So it was back to the drawing board and finding a proven veteran with track record and low salary demands. Those two positions aside I had some confidence in the mix assembled.

Never mind that our last few attempts at shopping for a starting pitcher in the budget aisle hadn’t exactly reaped great benefits. Andy Palomares had gone 6-7 with a 4.94 ERA this year before being dispatched to Washington in the Bob Zeltser deal. Nobody of that description had been here in ’32, but 2031 had seen Ed Hague go 8-12 with a 4.42 ERA while Eddie Krumm had drawn $360k to pitch ten innings, badly, being mostly hurt, and released by August; although: in 2030 we had turned 17 starts by Jose Menendez into an 8-4 mark and eventually Jimmy Wallace. I call that last one a win!

Hey, it’s only November and we’re already 2-0 for the new season. Good start! Good start!

Then the chase after a pitcher began in earnest. We were not looking for a #1 horse anymore because funds wouldn’t allow for it and I also figured that four #2/#3 pitchers also had to count for something. Good luck picking Portland’s goodest boy from amongst Rendon, Sabre, Chavez, and del Rio. What the Coons were after was a household name that was established in the league and had modest demands when it came to salary.

Yeah, we’re after a 33-year-old has-been, with specks of occasional but not habitual greatness, then derailed by injuries, who’ll pitch for a daily warm meal a blanket again, aren’t we?

+++

November 14 – The Loggers deal SP John Nelson (25-29, 3.88 ERA) to the Thunder, receiving #87 prospect Sean Ebner, a catcher that is traded for the second time this year.
November 14 – The Pacifics send 1B Jarod Howden (.257, 56 HR, 279 RBI) to the Crusaders for 2B Joe Payne (.290, 6 HR, 28 RBI) and a prospect.
November 22 – The Condors sign ex-ATL/POR SP Mario Rosas (131-113, 3.37 ERA) to a 6-yr, $25.6M contract. The Raccoons receive the Condors’ first-round pick as compensation.
November 27 – Former Gold Sox lefty Michael Frank (79-48, 3.21 ERA) joins the Capitals on a 7-yr, $31.08M contract.
December 1 – The Pacifics deal C/1B Danny Patron (.274, 6 HR, 59 RBI) to the Rebels for 3B/2B Dominique Dichio (.286, 6 HR, 45 RBI) and a prospect.
December 1 – Rule 5 Draft: 12 players are drafted in two rounds. The Raccoons lose AAA LF/RF Steve Florence to the Buffaloes.
December 2 – The Raccoons come to terms with ex-SFW SP Pat Okrasinski (98-94, 3.70 ERA). The 33-year-old righty signs a $550k conract for the 2034 season.

+++

And there is our 33-year-old has-been, with specks of - … he even has a World Series ring! Which Raccoon can boast about that? (Berto, Stalker, and Reichardt all show off their multiply-ringed paws without looking up from their fruit baskets)

Around 2030 it seemed like Okrasinksi was going to become one of the premier pitchers in the league. That was shortly before he started tearing every single thing in his body. Somehow between missing most of the last two seasons, he managed to fit in a no-hitter against the Wolves last Opening Day. There are things to like about him for sure, and even if this one also ends up hitting the crapper, at least we can console ourselves with the thought that he’s only here as placeholder to give Darren Brown time to become a star…!

The compensation pick will be #20, three spots after our own #17 selection which I don’t see us dawdling away this offseason, either. Also, honestly, given how of the six theoretically better picks available three belonged to teams with no hope of bidding for Rosas, this wasn’t such an awful deal… - Instead, the Gold Sox got the worst deal; getting the Capitals’ #12 pick in the second round for Frank.

Not worried about Florence. The Blue Sox took him in the 2032 Rule 5 draft and sent him back in April. And he’s not exactly ranked, either.

Former Coon(s) finding new shelter space behind the fake shelf wall of a bakery outside Portland from where they can conveniently reach around the pressed cardboard to nip something from the stash of donuts: Giovanni James signed a 2-yr, $1.82M deal with the Scorpions;

…and there’s a Hall of Fame ballot out, too. Let’s see whether we can recognize one or two of them bums!