[Westheim]

Raccoons (19-13) vs. Scorpions (17-15) – May 8-10, 2034

We had won the only two series played with the Scorpions in the last nine years, both times two to one games, and had not actually lost a series to them since we had been a mere two-time championship outfit. They were having trouble to score four runs per game, but had stingy pitching with the second-best rotation in the Federal League, which did contain the odd surprise or two. Not that I was always openly rooting against former Raccoons….

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (2-1, 3.71 ERA) vs. Jesus Rodarte (2-2, 3.68 ERA)
Ignacio del Rio (4-0, 3.08 ERA) vs. John McInerney (3-2, 2.36 ERA)
Pat Okrasinski (3-2, 3.65 ERA) vs. Andy Palomares (6-0, 1.91 ERA)

Yes, that’s OUR Andy Palomares. No, there is not another one of those around. No, I can’t fathom it either. That’s merely three full runs better than his 18-game stint with Portland last season. He had won every game he started. He would also be the only right-handed opposition in what figured to be a chewy series.

Speaking of chewy, Nick Valdes beat me to the office on Monday morning and went into the only bag of cookies I liked so much. And he only ate the chocolate chip ones! Only raspberry left for me… - Wait, Cristiano. Why are there black smears on the push rims of your wheelchair?? And your paws, too! – ET TU, CRISTIANO??

Game 1
SAC: SS Downs – CF Vermillion – RF Greenway – C M. Cook – 1B Bonnett – 2B Marek – LF Abel – 3B Stackhouse – P Rodarte
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – LF Wallace – 1B Zitzner – RF Salgado – 3B Zeltser – CF Reichardt – C Thompson – P Sabre

The Critters got off to a quick start, netting leadoff doubles from Berto, who ran his hitting streak to 18 games, and Zeltser in the first two innings. Both scored; Ramos came around on a Wallace double play grounder (whatever works…?) while Zeltser’s heroics were followed with RBI base knocks by both Adrian Reichardt and Raffaello Sabre before ill weather forced an hour-long delay in proceedings, which would surely not help Sabre go deep into the game. He had thrown 29 pitches in the first two innings, and maybe we could still get him through five? … or maybe he would already be bad when play finally resumed. 3-0 became 3-1 on hits by Rodarte and Adam Downs, a wild pitch, and Mark Vermillion’s groundout. Troy Greenway walked with two outs, presenting Mitch Cook with the tying runs on the corners even before Sabre presented him with a full count. Cook grounded out, but the bullpen began stretching even as the fourth inning began. Say, Nick, what would a machine cost that keeps the rain away when our team is leading? – So it’s not in the budget?

Tim Stalker singled home Elliott Thompson with two outs in the fourth, restoring the 3-run gap. Sabre began the fifth on 71 pitches, and with left-handed rescue ready and waiting. He issued eight more, enough to walk PH Luis Amezquita in the #9 hole and concede the run on a grounder and Vermillion’s single. Garavito replaced him, was ineffective, and 2-out singles by Mitch Cook and Erik Bonnett got us to 4-3 with two outs. Prieto was sent in to face the .034 batting righty Zach Marek, you know, to make REALLY SURE, and got him to ground out to Ramos, getting us finally through the top of the fifth. Travis Zitzner hit a leadoff triple in the bottom 5th and scored on Salgado’s sac fly, but the trouble with the Scorpions remained; Prieto allowed a single to Tim Stackhouse, walked Marquis Stubblefield, and was lifted for David Fernandez with two outs and the tying runs in scoring position following Adam Downs’ grounder, bringing back Vermillion, who lined a pitch into the rightfield corners anyway, and we were tied at five, but not for long.

Lisuarte Paradela, a veteran lefty on the downwards part of his career trajectory, would give the Raccoons a new shot with a lead. He walked Stalker and Zitzner in the bottom 7th, then gave up a blast with two outs to Bob Zeltser, well and true over the wall in right-center. Not that it was the end of all things in this game. The offensively inane Scorpions kept trying to come back. Chris Sandstrom stung Ed Blair with a 2-out solo homer in the eighth, cutting the lead back to 8-6, and then we would have to survive Chris Wise’s hit-and-miss approach to closing games, too. Giovanni James pinch-hit to lead off the ninth and almost landed extra bases on a 1-2 pitch (well, ex-Coons coming back to sneak lunch…), Greenway struck out, and Cook rolled over to Ramos to end the game. 8-6 Raccoons. Stalker 2-4, BB, RBI; Zitzner 2-3, BB, 3B; Zeltser 2-4, HR, 2B, 3 RBI; D. Fernandez 1.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K, W (1-0);

I blamed the rain for this shoddy win, while Valdes blamed my shoddy management. Nobody was happy. (munches raspberry cookie with visible displeasure)

Game 2
SAC: 2B Duenez – CF Vermillion – RF Greenway – C M. Cook – 1B Bonnett – SS Downs – LF Abel – 3B Stackhouse – P McInerney
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – LF M. Fernandez – 1B Zitzner – RF Salgado – CF Reichardt – 3B Hawkins – C Scheffer – P del Rio

The undefeated del Rio soon enough found himself in the midst of a comedy of errors, that somehow didn’t turn tragic in either of the first two acts. The first three base runners of the game were not only all Scorpions, but all reached on errors. Tom Hawkins made the first two; short-hopping a throw on Adam Downs’ grounder in the second that eluded Zitzner, then fumbling Stackhouse’s grounder outright to begin the third. When McInerney, the old Indians foe, bunted, the ball came back to del Rio, who also threw it past Zitzner, putting runners in scoring position with no outs. Mario Duenez popped out, Vermillion lined out to Berto, and Greenway grounded out to Ramos, too, and nobody scored. Scheffer then was the first batter to reach on his own merits, singling to center in the bottom of the third, but was doubled up by del Rio’s bunt. Then it also rained for a 20-minute delay, and somehow I was sure by now that this would not turn out a W.

Del Rio, who achieved the rare feet of being scheduled for being yelled at after the game despite pitching a no-hitter into the fifth, got around Tim Stackhouse’s double in that inning as well as a 2-out walk to Duenez when Vermillion grounded out to Zitzner. The Raccoons got the leadoff man on base in the bottom 5th, but Hugo Salgado also twisted his ankle while hitting that infield single. Wallace replaced him, with Manny Fernandez swinging over to rightfield, and the next three batters all made poor outs in the scoreless affair. But del Rio held up and maybe Berto could get things moving. He hit a single with one down in the sixth, extending his hitting streak to 19 games, then took off for second base. Cook threw the ball into his bum and it bounced away from the middle infielders, allowing Berto to scamper for third base, which was also where Stalker (grounder to Stackhouse) and Fernandez (fly to Christian Abel) stranded him.

Top 8th, Duenez legged out an infield single to begin the frame. Del Rio’s round black eyes narrowed to slits and he struck out the next three batters in order, but then also indicated that he was gassed after 107 pitches. Rewarding him would require an effort from the bottom of the order; Tom Hawkins surely tried, hitting a double over the head of Gold Glover Vermillion to begin the bottom 8th. Scheffer and Rich Vickers both grounded over to Stackhouse, who played the first ball but fumbled the second, which put runners on the corners with one out for Berto, while this now also meant that hits (7) were barely outnumbering errors (5) in this game, and yet still nobody had scored a ****ing run. Berto got it done, sort of, hitting a grounder to the right side. Duenez got Vickers at second base, but Ramos beat the return throw and Tom Hawkins scored to break the ice in May. Stalker singled, but Fernandez went down on strikes against a resilient McInerney, who was now the loser of the pitching duel as long as we could coax another three outs from Chris Wise and his 5+ ERA. Except, hold that thought. He had been out two days in a row, his results were meh, and a left-hander was due to lead off the ninth inning. The Coons turned to David Fernandez instead. Marquis Stubblefield hit for Bonnett, but that was still a lefty batter, and one who singled. Two outs later, the tying run was at second base with Stackhouse up, who was a righty batting .298; McInerney was still behind him. The Coons tried to be clever; with first base open, they walked Stackhouse intentionally, seeing how the Scorpions had to either send a lefty batter for McInerney… or Marek, who was batting 1-for-31. With as many hits, Luis Amezquita had 11 more hits and was announced as pinch-hitter. Fernandez got to 1-2… and then threw a ball into the wheelhouse that was never seen again. Amezquita’s first homer of the year blew the game apart, and Chris Henry (1.72 ERA) got around a Jimmy Wallace single to nail down the save. 3-1 Scorpions. Stalker 2-4; Salgado 1-2; Wallace 1-2; del Rio 8.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 9 K;

No, thanks Maud… (has a thin stream of blood running from one corner of the mouth) … I appreciate your effort to buy new cookies at 10pm, but I think I would now rather eat shards of glass. (breaks the neck off another bottle o’ booze)

Hugo Salgado had a twisted ankle and would be day-to-day the rest of the week. Dr. Chung criticized his weakness and girlish whining and that he insisted on getting crutches. He again recommended 20-mile marches on gameday morning for all players in order to harden them. Maybe a parade with bats swung over the shoulder, too.

Game 3
SAC: 2B Duenez – CF Vermillion – RF Greenway – C M. Cook – 1B Bonnett – SS Downs – LF Abel – 3B Stackhouse – P Palomares
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Zeltser – CF M. Fernandez – 1B Zitzner – LF Wallace – 2B Stalker – RF Jennings – C Thompson – P Okrasinski

Next game, next intentional walk to Tim Stackhouse that wouldn’t turn out all that rosy. It came in the fourth, with Adam Downs on second and two outs. Palomares struck an RBI single, and the Scorpions’ lead built to 3-1. Downs had knocked a homer in the second, following a leadoff walk to Bonnett, and the Coons’ three singles in the bottom 2nd – Stalker, Jennings, Thompson – could only cobble together one run. No further intentional walk was issued to Stackhouse with two down and Erik Bonnett on third base in the sixth inning. Let Okrasinski figure that one out for himself! Stackhouse thus of course slapped an RBI single, 4-1, and Palomares struck out…

While Palomares remained largely impenetrable, Okrasinski allowed a 10th hit, a leadoff single, to Duenez in the seventh before being yanked. Hennessy would grind his way through the inning on over 20 pitches to keep that runner stranded. Not that it mattered in the slightest. The Raccoons kept hitting nothing at all against Palomares for eight full innings, then drew more blanks against Chris Henry in the ninth. 4-1 Scorpions. Thompson 1-2, BB, RBI;

Few did much, many did little, and Alberto Ramos got hit by Palomares in the eighth after going 0-for-3 prior to that. His hitting streak thus ended at 19 games.

Nick Valdes complained that the team had not been a joy to watch and he was not recouping his emotional investments, then abducted the bag of cookies on his way to Guinea-Bissau, where he was razing the country’s biggest orphanage for a 75,000-capacity soccer stadium.

Raccoons (20-15) @ Titans (21-12) – May 12-14, 2034

The shoddy performance at home meant that the Raccoons arrived in Boston two games back, but at least after an off day; Boston had been off on Monday. Our limping offense would probably challenged against the league-best pitching, with the Titans only allowing 3.3 runs per game. Their offense was crummy, eighth in runs scored, and also reduced in strength with Keith Spataro and Moises Avila on the DL. The Coons had lost two of three the first time around against Boston.

Projected matchups:
Gilberto Rendon (4-1, 2.89 ERA) vs. Mario Gonzalez (3-1, 2.38 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (2-1, 2.09 ERA) vs. Tony Chavez (3-3, 2.91 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (2-1, 3.99 ERA) vs. Rich Willett (2-3, 4.47 ERA)

Again left-left-right. And those weren’t even all the southpaws with 2.xx ERA’s the Titans had; there was also Dustin Wingo (3-2, 2.45 ERA), but he had pitched on Thursday and was not in the picture.

Game 1
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – LF Wallace – 1B Zitzner – CF Reichardt – RF M. Fernandez – 3B Hawkins – C Thompson – P Rendon
BOS: SS Gil – 2B R. West – LF W. Vega – RF M. Walker – C Lessman – 3B E. Gonzalez – 1B J. Green – CF D’Angelo – P M. Gonzalez

Gilberto Rendon figuratively had his brains beaten in right in the first inning. Three hits, two walks, a hit batter, and three runs before Mario Gonzalez struck out to strand three. Mark Walker hit an RBI double, Josh Green singled in two, and that hit batter, David Lessman, was later found out to have a broken finger and would be out for a month, which only increased the Titans’ motivation, now with Pat Sanford behind the dish. A 2-out sequence of a Willie Vega single, Mark Walker’s RBI triple, and a Sanford RBI single stretched the tally to 5-0 in the second, and the Titans had secured their division lead through Monday at that point.

A rain delay of 52 minutes erased Rendon in the fourth inning, at which point he was also the only Raccoon to drop in a base hit. Tim Stalker was nailed by Mario Gonzalez twice; the latter instance would bring up the tying run in the fifth inning with three on and two out for Wallace. The inning had begun with a Manny Fernandez infield single. He only scored with two outs on a Salgado double from the #9 spot before Ramos and Stalker got on base, too. Jimmy Wallace could make the difference between another shot at the game and a 3-game losing streak with two more in Boston to come, and he grounded out ****tily to Rhett West.

Also affected by the rain delay, Gonzalez only oversaw the game until Zitzner doubled off him to begin the sixth. Andrew Johnson replaced the starter and conceded the run on a Fernandez single and Tom Hawkins’ sac fly, but that was not the leap that we could have had an inning earlier. Mark Walker had his third RBI hit of the game in response, a 2-out RBI single off David Fernandez in the bottom of the inning, scoring West, who had doubled. And yet, the Titans were insisting of giving Portland more chances. Johnson loaded the bags in the top 7th with a Zeltser single in the #9 hole, then 4-pitch walks to both Stalker and Wallace. That brought up Travis Zitzner with a fat double play chance, but popped out on the first pitch. Adrian Reichardt didn’t get a chance to do even that, getting nailed on the following toss by Johnson. That forced in a run, but the Titans manager had apparently fallen asleep because no other reliever was coming in. Manny Fernandez flew out to Brian D’Angelo to end the inning anyway…

Top 8th, Hawkins opened with a single off Tim Zimmerman, who was immediately replaced with lefty Wyatt Hamill. Hawkins had been shifted to first base, removing Zitzner in a superficial triple switch that also expressed my great displeasure at his paltry 15 RBI at this stage of the season. Philip Scheffer batted for Thompson, but flew out, yet Zeltser doubled in the #9 hole, bringing back the tying run. Ramos hit a gapper, Willie Vega didn’t reach it, and suddenly the tying run was on second base after the 2-run double! J.D. Hamm replaced Hamill, a right-hander against Stalker, who popped out, and then they sent southpaw Jesse Erickson against Jimmy Wallace, who flew out to D’Angelo, stranding Berto for good. Bottom of the inning, Prieto was left over from the seventh and allowed a leadoff walk to West. Garavito replaced him, but the Titans now threw out right-handed pinch-hitters. Ivan Vega reached on a Zeltser error, Luis Leija on an infield single. Three on, no outs, exit Mauricio Garavito, enter Ed Blair, who had his first and sixth pitches, respectively, hit by Sanford and Edgar Gonzalez for RBI singles. Another run scored on a double play grounder. Boston was now a slam away, and yet the tying run came to the plate AGAIN in the ninth inning…!! Rich Vickers hit a leadoff single, Reichardt popped out, and West bobbled away a Fernandez grounder to get Erickson replaced by Jermaine Campbell, who walked Hawkins to fill the bags for Scheffer. The backup catcher rocked a 1-2 pitch to deep left… for a sac fly, 9-6. Zeltser blooped another 1-2 pitch for an RBI single to center. Ramos grounded out on a 3-1 pitch… 9-7 Titans. Vickers (PH) 1-1; M. Fernandez 2-5; Salgado (PH) 1-1, 2B, RBI; Zeltser (PH) 3-3, 2B, RBI;

Bloody hell.

Game 2
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – RF Salgado – 1B Zitzner – 3B Zeltser – CF Reichardt – LF M. Fernandez – C Scheffer – P B. Chavez
BOS: SS Gil – 2B R. West – LF W. Vega – RF M. Walker – 1B J. Green – 3B E. Gonzalez – C Sanford – CF D’Angelo – P T. Chavez

Divorce proceedings in the complicated case of Chavez v Chavez began with a bang when Philip Scheffer rocked a solo homer to left in the third inning, but pretty soon the other side, represented by the renowned first-rate partnership of Boston, Boston & Rings, introduced new evidence that gave them three on and no outs in the bottom 4th. Willie Vega singled, Mark Walker hit an infield single, and Josh Green walked. Nope! – screamed the Coons’ counsel! You obtained that illegally! Gonzalez popped out. Sanford popped out. D’Angelo slammed a ball to left-center at 1-2, Manny racing after it at breakneck speed, and the judge gaveled the evidence away as inadmissible – Fernandez ran down the drive in the gap, and all three runners were tossed out of court.

Manny made four or five strong shags in left (with Wallace around, the case would have been lost long ago and Bernie sentenced to 15 years on a Phoenician galley…), but we still had to survive testimony of their star witness, and hope our own witness wouldn’t show up drunk to the gills. It remained a close case through seven hours of testimony, with the Critters still a nose length ahead in the 1-0 game in the eighth. With one out and nobody on, Bernie was hit for after 97 pitches of shutout ball, given that the mostly left-handed top of the order was due up in the bottom of the inning. Hawkins and Ramos both flew out to D’Angelo. Hennessy got two outs before hitting Willie Vega in the knee. The judge ruled this an inadmissible move and awarded an injunction at first base to the batter… except that Luis Leija would run for the crippled Vega, who had suffered a knee contusion. Ivan Vega hit for Walker to counter the southpaw, but here came our star witness – Chris Wise had to get four outs for the save. Vega singled, but Wise rung up PH Bobby Beam to end the eighth. It was still 1-0 after the top of the ninth, and the questioning got more intense. A bit too intense. Boston, Boston & Rings pulled all the strings, got Sanford admitted with a 1-out walk, and D’Angelo with a single to center. Reichardt overran the ball for an error, the tying and winning runs reached scoring position, and once PH Roberto Avila beat Manny Fernandez in the gap, the judge’s verdict was announced – the Titans would get all the runs their needed, and the dog, too! 2-1 Titans. B. Chavez 7.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 2 K;

We may need a new closer once I have beaten Chris Wise to within a ****ing inch of his life.

But first we should get a block or two between us and the courthouse. Come here now! Come here, Chris! – LET GO OF THE ****ING LAMP POST!!

Game 3
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Zeltser – LF Wallace – 1B Zitzner – C M. Fernandez – 2B Stalker – RF Jennings – C Thompson – P Sabre
BOS: SS Gil – 2B R. West – LF I. Vega – RF M. Walker – 1B J. Green – 3B E. Gonzalez – C R. Avila – CF D’Angelo – P Willett

Portland piled three on Willett in the first inning, getting their first three batters on with two singles and a walk. Fernandez got a run home with a groundout, and Stalker tripled in a pair for an early 3-0 edge. The first three batter were on again in the top 2nd; Thompson hit a soft single, Sabre’s bunt was thrown away by Willett, and Ramos legged out an infield single. Willett came apart on the hinges, walking in not one, but two runs against Zeltser and Wallace before Zitzner whiffed. Fernandez’ grounder got Berto across, and Stalker rolled out to Josh Green to keep it 6-0. Berto singled Jennings across in the top 3rd to get to 7-0 even, and Willett was still in the game…! Leija would hit for him in the bottom of the inning though.

Sabre in turn was mildly amazing. He allowed two hits early on, but the Titans’ Rhett West doubled off Antonio Gil for the first two outs of their allotment. Afterwards they wouldn’t reach base again until a walk to Roberto Avila in the fifth. Nothing came of that either and we carried our 7-0 lead clean through five. West singled and Ivan Vega walked with two outs in the sixth, followed by Mark Walker grounding out to short. And then Sabre completely shambled the shutout away in the seventh. After two outs, he dropped Zitzner’s feed on Roberto Avila’s grounder to extend the bottom 7th. D’Angelo doubled to center right after that, Fernandez’ throw home as late and the run scored. Sabre threw a wild pitch, then walked Beam to put runner on the corners, and then was unceremoniously yanked. Ain’t no man got patience for that! Garavito replaced him and got Antonio Gil retired on a grounder to short. Prieto put Vega and Walker on base in the eighth, but Green hit into a double play. Despite a 6-run lead, I was expecting the very worst still to occur here… The young righty remained in the game though, with more right-handed bats coming up in the bottom 9th. Edgar Gonzalez grounded out to Stalker. Avila flew out to Fernandez in right. Then we brought in David Fernandez for D’Angelo, because we had seen our share of stupid **** in the last four games. A strikeout salvaged at least this game… 7-1 Coons. Ramos 4-5, RBI; Sabre 6.2 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 3 BB, 1 K, W (3-1);

In other news

May 9 – RIC OF/1B/2B Telma Mntua (.351, 1 HR, 16 RBI) will miss the rest of the season with a ruptured medial collateral ligament.
May 12 – SFW SS Jesus Matos (.296, 7 HR, 28 RBI) has four hits and four RBI from the leadoff spot in a 13-6 over the Stars.
May 12 – The Scorpions trade CL Chris Henry (1-1, 1.53 ERA, 11 SV) to the Stars for two prospects.
May 12 – PIT 2B/SS Jim McKenzie (.311, 4 HR, 15 RBI) will miss six weeks with a forearm strain.
May 13 – RIC 3B/SS Guillermo Obando (.283, 2 HR, 17 RBI) is going to miss six weeks with a strained posterior cruciate ligament.
May 14 – IND SP Jose Lerma (5-2, 3.03 ERA) shuts out the Loggers on six hits in a 5-0 game. He had already shut out the Gold Sox on four hits in another 5-0 win on Monday.

Complaints and stuff

Not the week we wanted. Or deserved. Blowing two 1-0 leads in the ninth inning was … soul-grinding. Having it happen once in Boston was borderline stupid.

Maybe it will get better next week. We will see the Loggers and Aces on the road, starting with four in Milwaukee.

Fun Fact: Alberto Ramos has passed Cookie Carmona for stolen bases in his career with two more sacks taken this week.

Berto’s at 430 now, two ahead of Cookie. They are seventh and eighth overall in ABL history. The next player is a moving target though, since 6th place Alex Torres and his 442 stolen bases are still active. Granted, Torres hasn’t stolen one all year as his body is shaking itself apart at age 36…

Keep in mind that Berto will not even turn 30 years old until December… of 2035.