[Westheim]

Raccoons (38-25) @ Pacifics (29-33) – June 12-14, 2034

The Pacifics had lost four straight and hoped to end the Critters’ own 4-game winning streak (and had the right pitcher lined up for that). They were fifth in runs scored in the FL, but were also allowing the fifth-most runs and treading water thus. Portland had not won a series against the Pacifics since ’28, and had most recently been swept two years ago.

Projected matchups:
Ignacio del Rio (6-2, 3.13 ERA) vs. Dave Christiansen (9-2, 2.49 ERA)
Gilberto Rendon (7-4, 3.94 ERA) vs. Alfredo Vargas (4-6, 6.11 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (5-2, 2.57 ERA) vs. Abramo Archibugi (6-4, 4.24 ERA)

Left, right, left for this series. There were a few notable injuries to these Pacifics, and all of them were position players. Joel Denzler and Justin Fowler, 6-time All Star, were on the DL. Infielders Dave Menth (ankle) and Frank Eisenberg (shoulder) were listed as day-to-day.

Game 1
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – LF Wallace – 1B Zitzner – RF M. Fernandez – CF Reichardt – 3B Hawkins – C Scheffer – P del Rio
LAP: RF O. Mendoza – SS Bennett – LF Dunlap – 1B McGrath – 2B Menth – CF Tessmann – C Henley – 3B L. Rivera – P Christiansen

Del Rio took to the mound with a 4-0 lead after having hit into a double play in the top 1st to end a string of seven consecutive Raccoons reaching base after Ramos’ game-opening groundout. Stalker and Wallace had singled, Zitz had walked, and then three more singles by Fernandez, Reichardt, and Hawkins had plated one, one, and two runs, respectively. While del Rio retired the Pacifics in order in the first two innings, Christiansen never batted, being hit for by Alexis Rueda in a third inning that saw both catchers go deep. Philip Scheffer hit a 2-piece for the Critters, while J.J. Henley found a solo homer in his own bat, putting the score at 6-1 through three. One inning later, the lead was gone.

The Raccoons’ bottom 4th became the Pacifics’ top 1st. Tom Dunlap, Kevin McGrath, Dave Menth, and Danny Tessmann, three of them Continental League veterans and professional thorns in our sides, all slapped singles to begin the inning, making it 6-2 with the bags full. Henley struck out. Lorenzo Rivera popped out. Then Terry Kopp, ex-Coon, hit for Nick Derks, ex-Coon, and knocked the damn ball outta here for a score-knotting slam, putting “beat the damn crap out of del Rio” right to the top of the agenda. He wasn’t the only one. The bottom 6th was another riot against the bullpen, which kept blowing up and blowing upper. Menth singled off David Fernandez, Prieto retired nobody whatsoever, and Garavito oversaw two RBI singles and a sac fly to bury the Raccoons three runs deep. While the Raccoons had a pair on in the top 6th until “Bad Luck Travis” Zitzner hit into a double play, and stranded pairs in the seventh and eighth without the additional assistance to the Pacifics of hitting the balls right into the teeth of the middle infield defense, L.A. tacked on a run against Hennessy in the seventh. Not that they needed it, because the Raccoons weren’t going to rally anyway. 10-6 Pacifics. Ramos 2-5; Wallace 3-4, BB; M. Fernandez 2-4, BB, RBI; Reichardt 2-4, 2B, RBI;

There will come the point where I will murder all of them. First place or not. Right now first place; tomorrow maybe not.

Then we will have Jason Gurney as our new ace.

Game 2
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Zeltser – LF Wallace – 1B Zitzner – CF M. Fernandez – 2B Stalker – RF Jennings – C Thompson – P Rendon
LAP: RF O. Mendoza – SS Bennett – LF Dunlap – 1B McGrath – 2B Menth – C Stanley – CF Tessmann – 3B L. Rivera – P A. Vargas

In a 29-pitch top of the first the Raccoons drew three full-count walks (all infielders sans Zitzner, who scored Berto with a groundout) but only had one base hit (a Manny RBI double) and hence only scored two runs when they clearly had Vargas in the ropes right away. But that could still come at some point – the main focus was on getting a starting pitcher through five or six innings without some sort of calamity. Six innings would be swell! – That was the sentiment before Rendon walked the bags full with one out in the bottom 2nd, conceded a run to Lorenzo Rivera’s sac fly, threw a wild pitch to the opposing tosser, and then Stalker almost threw a 2-0 grounder away with still THE OPPOSING TOSSER running, who couldn’t be slower if he had two wooden prosthetic legs!!

When he wasn’t actively campaigning to restore the Pacifics to former glory, Gilberto Rendon was not half as **** as Gilberto Rendon had been recently. He struck out five through four innings, but also inexplicably blew up the lead in the bottom 4th after former Elks scourge Danny Tessmann reached with a single blooping in front of Jennings’ pointy black nose. Tessmann stole second uncontested (they were already 4-for-4 on Raccoons catching in the series), then came around on a Rivera single with two outs. Rendon nailed Vargas, ostensibly to soften the opposing pitcher for an offensive comeback, then had Oscar Mendoza at 1-2 before allowing a liner to right. Jennings, appreciably, found it in his hard to at least ****ing catch THAT one. Top 5th, Rendon did what he could to redeem himself and hit a leadoff double. Ramos flew out, but Zelts and Wallace found singles to score their pitcher for a new 3-2 lead. Then Zitzner, the master of disaster, hit into another double play. Me personally, I was bleeding from one corner of my mouth again. Kevin McGrath bettered his batting average to .213 when he hit a solo shot to re-tie the game in the bottom 5th. Everybody not named TRAVIS did their royal best to help out. Manny Fernandez opened the sixth with a single, stole second, then was driven in with a Stalker single, 4-3. Thompson even reached base with a clonker off Rivera’s glove that was charitably scored another single. A bunt and a balk scored another run before Ramos popped out to McGrath to end the inning.

That bunt was Rendon’s final good deed before facing four Pacifics in the bottom 6th, the bottom four of the order, all of which reached. After three singles, he walked PH Rueda with the bases loaded. Properly yanked and maybe soon shanked, he was replaced by David Fernandez, who oversaw the Pacifics’ takeover of the game with a run-scoring infield single legged out by the pest Mendoza (he’d fit well on the damn Elks!) and T.J. Bennett’s sac fly, making it 6-5 L.A. As if further prove was needed that all 50 players involved needed to be forced into retirement, the Coons tied the game without doing ANYTHING in the seventh inning. Zeltser reached on Rivera’s 2-base throwing error, advanced on a poor grounder, then scored on a wild pitch by Jorge Beltran, who would be jumped on for a 2-out, 2-run rally in the top 8th. Vickers walked in the #9 hole, Ramos doubled him home, then scored on Bob Zeltser’s single, making it an 8-6 affair that was increasingly annoying the crowd. Increasingly short on arms after the staff’s continued escapades of recent days, the Raccoons turned to Darren Brown in a hold situation in the bottom 8th. He pitched as well as expected, walking Mendoza, who caused my blood to boil, and then waving him around on Bennett’s double to left (and that was even with Wallace having been sent to bed).

Top 9th, Gabriel Recio, a Cuban righty, allowed Fernandez on with a 1-out double, walked Stalker, then threw another wild pitch. If aliens descended on the planet right now to learn about baseball before cleansing the planet for their own colonization project, I sure hoped they would study another game, because this showcase was the absolute worst, and for the second day in a row. Billy Jennings ended up walking on four pitches anyway, loading the bags for PH Tom Hawkins, who struck out. Reichardt flew out to center, and three runners were stranded. Bottom 9th, Danny Tessmann doubled off Wise with one out… but that was also after the rural simpleton Wise had walked Menth and Henley, both of whom were just too happy to chug home to walk off the home team. 9-8 Pacifics. Zeltser 2-4, BB, RBI; Wallace 2-5, RBI; M. Fernandez 3-4, 2 2B, RBI; D. Fernandez 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

Second place in the North.

I have trouble finding words right now. All that is in my head is a scream of rage.

Game 3
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Zeltser – 2B Stalker – 1B Zitzner – LF M. Fernandez – CF Reichardt – C Scheffer – RF Catella – P Chavez
LAP: CF Tessmann – RF Rueda – LF Dunlap – 1B McGrath – 2B Menth – C Stanley – SS Eisenberg – 3B L. Rivera – P Archibugi

Berto opened the game with a walk, then scored on Zelts and Zitz singles. Another first-inning lead, another certain defeat…! Tessmann singled on Chavez’ first pitch, and then scored on McGrath’s double to left to tie the game right in the same inning. For a while then, it was almost a normal baseball game without all the blown leads, wild pitches, and pies in the face. Neither Archibugi nor Chavez allowed another run through five, although Bernie ran up 84 pitches while the Coons only wrung 62 from his opponent and also didn’t find another base hit at all after the first inning until Ramos poked a roller through the middle infielders for a leadoff single in the sixth. Then the stooges came out, sort of. Berto took off for second, swiped that, but also reached third base on Lee Stanley’s throwing error. Zeltser’s groundout moved Ramos across home plate and gave Portland a 2-1 lead to blow before Archibugi walked Stalker and Zitzner on straight balls. Fernandez popped out, and Reichardt also lifted a pop to Eisenberg, who dropped that thing like a hot potato. That gave Scheffer a chance… but he flew out to Tessmann. Straight singles by the 1-2-3 batters tacked on a run with two outs in the top 7th before “Bad Luck Travis” grounded out and stranded Zeltser and Stalker.

Bernie lasted seven innings on four hits and six strikeouts, taking 104 pitches to get there. He had done his job – now the rest of the punks had to keep their damn holes closed… Before the clowns were released from the pen, Adrian Reichardt socked a solo homer in the eighth to make it a 4-1 game, and then Garavito took over. Tessmann grounded out, Rueda struck out, and Dunlap flew out in the eighth, after which Chris Wise would be bidding for his seventh loss against the 4-5-6 batters. He walked McGrath to get going. Menth’s grounder forced the lead runner, Stanley struck out… but Eisenberg reached on an infield single. That brought up pinch-hitter Zach Tutt as the tying run with two outs… and Ed Blair, because we couldn’t take Wise’s ****ing **** any goddamn longer. Tutt flew out, and the Coons salvaged a game for a change… 4-1 Raccoons. Ramos 2-4, BB; Zeltser 2-5, RBI; Chavez 7.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, W (6-2);

The Raccoons would travel home after the game, while I headed to New York for the draft. Darren Brown in turn was sent to St. Pete again after 3.1 innings and a 5.40 ERA. Hey, still better than his career mark…

Nick Bates was not considered wise to bring back yet, so the call went to … Kyle Green.

Raccoons (39-27) vs. Loggers (30-35) – June 16-18, 2034

After splitting four games right down the middle earlier in the season, the Raccoons had to pounce on the Loggers now. Milwaukee was five games under .500 but actually had a +8 run differential. They were fifth in runs scored, ninth in runs allowed, and the pitching was a real problem, especially the bullpen, which had a 5.09 ERA and was constantly engulfed in flames. Where had I seen that before…?

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (7-2, 3.19 ERA) vs. Paul Metzler (4-5, 4.16 ERA)
Pat Okrasinski (6-3, 3.88 ERA) vs. Tommy Iezzi (1-0, 4.24 ERA)
Ignacio del Rio (6-2, 3.64 ERA) vs. Josh Long (3-7, 3.71 ERA)

Looked like three right-handers drawing up here.

Game 1
MIL: RF Valenzuela – SS W. Morris – 1B Leftwich – 3B Conner – LF S. Wilson – 2B McWhirter – C J. Young – CF Wheeler – P Metzler
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Zeltser – LF Wallace – 1B Zitzner – CF M. Fernandez – 2B Stalker – RF Jennings – C Thompson – P Sabre

Starting with doubles by Danny Valenzuela and Wayne Morris, the Loggers pounded Sabre for five hits and four runs in the first inning, capped by Jim Young’s 2-out, 2-run double. All the hits were to the black hole side of the Raccoons’ defense, and Jimmy Wallace wasn’t close to any of them. Wallace wasn’t going to add any valuable offense any time soon, ending the first and third innings with groundouts. Portland scratched out one run in the latter when Bob Zeltser hustled to first to break up a double play after batting with Thompson and Ramos on the corners and one out, allowing the Coons’ catcher to score their first marker of the game. One inning later, Zitzner, Fernandez, and Jennings were all on base with one out against Metzler, at least until Elliott Thompson was not fast enough to break up the double play upon grounding over to Bill McWhirter. Another threat was up in the bottom 5th after 2-out singles by Zeltser and Wallace, but Zitzner flew out easily to Steve Wilson on a 3-1 pitch.

Sabre delivered a few scoreless innings to attempt to save his own bacon after the first-inning blow-up, but was knocked out in the sixth in circumstances again involving the defensive *** clown in leftfield. Josh Conner led off with a single to left that bounced through Wallace’s legs for an error, and while Sabre managed to turn that into an earned run anyway on a Wilson RBI double before walking Jim Young on his way out, my teeth were grinding at record pace. Antonio Prieto replaced Sabre with runners on the corners and one out and whiffed both Mike Wheeler and Paul Metzler to get out of the inning for only one run. The Raccoons would hit into further double plays in the seventh (Ramos) and eighth (Zitzner) to blow away each and any chance of a comeback in this game, a pattern that refused to be broken up in the ninth, either. Tim Stalker hit a leadoff single off Rafael Zacarias. Billy Jennings whiffed – the only Coons strikeout after Metzler had gone eight innings without one – and Thompson hit into the team’s fourth double play on the day… They lost by as many runs. 5-1 Loggers. Green 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K;

Oh golly …

Game 2
MIL: RF Valenzuela – SS W. Morris – 1B Leftwich – 3B Conner – 2B McWhirter – C J. Young – LF D.J. Mendez – CF Wheeler – P Iezzi
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Zeltser – LF Wallace – 1B Zitzner – RF M. Fernandez – 2B Stalker – CF Reichardt – C Thompson – P Okrasinski

My pocket calendar claimed Okrasinski was due for a good one, and at least the Loggers got no hits the first time through the order and no runs in the first three innings, never mind the general shoddiness and general reluctance to remove anybody in under five pitches, and also two walks to the bottom of the order in the second inning. Meanwhile, Portland went up 2-0, both runs supplied by Jimmy Wallace. Well, well, look what no bacon for breakfast can do to motivate a boy!! Wallace homered in the first, then dropped a 2-out single to score Okrasinski in the bottom 3rd. The pitcher was on base not for his own merits, but a bad bunt having forced out Thompson, but it wasn’t like a Thompson run would have counted double… Manny Fernandez would turn up with the bases loaded after a walk to Zitzner, but flew out to Wheeler to strand three runners. Okrasinski threatened to become unglued in the fourth with a leadoff walk to Josh Conner, who was doubled up by McWhirter. Even then, Okrasinski fell to 3-1 on Young, who hit a fly to deep left, and Jimmy Wallace actually caught a ****ing baseball out there for once…

But it was the Loggers who would implode with great noise this time around. Reichardt homered in the fourth to make it 3-0, but the main event was the fifth, even though it began with Ramos reaching and being caught stealing. Zeltser was on base via infield single, then scored on a Wallace double (putting the much-maligned leftfielder a triple short of the cycle). A Manny Fernandez homer later it was 6-0 and before long the Raccoons got to see Mel Lira and his 5.56 ERA, who ironically had been replaced in the rotation by Iezzi not too long ago. The next five Raccoons all reached base, including Stalker and Reichardt, and then a 3-run homer by Thompson. Okrasinski and Ramos reached, Zeltser hit a 2-run double, and the inning only ended when Wallace flew out to Wheeler after eight runs for an 11-0 tally. Without hesitation though Okrasinski finally exploded, too, coming apart for five straight 2-out base hits in the sixth, leading to three runs and more aboard until he was yanked for David Fernandez against PH Steve Wilson in the #9 hole. A groundout to Stalker stymied the rally in the making and it looked like we’d have a happy end after all. No thanks, Maud, I don’t want an apple. – No, not even if you slice it for me. – Would you slice me a lemon, though?

The bottom of the seventh would bring Jimmy Wallace back to the plate with Sergio Piedra having mostly walked the bags full with Thompson, Vickers, and Zeltser and one out. No triple materialized, his fly to left being caught by D.J. Mendez for a sac fly. Ed Blair and Mauricio Garavito would cut down the Loggers in the final two innings to complete the rout. 12-3 Raccoons. Ramos 2-5, 2B; Zeltser 2-3, 2 BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Wallace 3-4, HR, 2B, 4 RBI; Reichardt 3-5, HR, RBI; Vickers (PH) 1-1;

The Titans lost their second straight game to the Crusaders, moving the Critters back into first place in the North by half a game. Given that we’d crash into Boston on Monday, I’d love to at least arrive with the edge…

Meanwhile Milwaukee had lost Bill McWhirter to injury late in the game. They’d cart up .200 hitter Maxime Garnier by Sunday, who would doubtlessly make us long back for McWhirter…

Game 3
MIL: RF Valenzuela – SS W. Morris – 1B Leftwich – 3B Conner – LF S. Wilson – 2B Garnier – C J. Young – CF Wheeler – P Long
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Zeltser – LF Wallace – 1B Zitzner – RF M. Fernandez – CF Reichardt – 2B Vickers – C Scheffer – P del Rio

Neither team reached base the first time through the order, and while the Coons were convinced they could achieve victory if they could just wear out Wayne Morris and Maxime Garnier on defense, the Loggers at least got a Danny Valenzuela single to begin the fourth inning. A wild pitch moved up the runner, but Jamie Leftwich popped out and Conner hobbled out on a 3-0 poke with two outs. That was the best impression of offense the game would see in the middle innings; Portland would break up Long’s bid after 13 straight retirements when Manny Fernandez legged out an infield single but was forced out on Reichardt’s grounder to short. When Scheffer hit a leadoff single in the sixth, del Rio smothered the chance with a double play grounder right away.

Del Rio then retired himself from the game just one out later, Leftwich grounding out to first base in the top 7th. Back woes were given as reason for his removal from the game, but the cynic in me thought he wanted to get a headstart on the after-game buffet. We had steaks and chicken drums with piles of side dishes; heck, even I wanted to grab a food bowl rather than watch the sad 0-0 game going on down there…!

Prieto took the ball and walked Conner, but got a double play ball from Wilson to get us to the stretch, but after further non-hitting by the Portland Bystander Department the top 8th began with Garnier’s leadoff single to left. A-HA! Bere ibb bas!! (points with a bowl of mashed potatoes in one paw and a chicken drum with bite marks in the other, plus the matching bulging cheeks) Prieto walked Young before being shafted. Ed Blair got two outs, but was replaced for Fernandez with two outs and the runners in scoring position when Valenzuela was back up. The Loggers sent .238 batting righty Omar Huerta as pinch-hitter for their #1 man… but he popped out. Still scoreless, the Coons waited with the deployment of Chris Wise (hardly a win or non-loss guarantee) until after Morris’ lineout to the pitcher Fernandez in the ninth. By then Rodrigo Canas was pinch-hitting for the left-handed Leftwich, giving Wise a better matchup, at least on paper. On the field, though, Wise’s 2-1 pitch was drummed indeed for a tie-breaking homer, lining him up for his seventh loss. The bottom 9th started with Stalker in the #9 hole, but he grounded out. Ramos legged out an infield single to bring up the winning run against STILL Josh Long. The Loggers were confident he could get this one over with, and why wouldn’t they? The Coons had yet to touch third base. Three pitches later, Bob Zeltser singled through the right side, sending Berto all the way to third base and bringing up Jimmy Wallace. Still no motion by the Loggers to bring in relief. Wallace dropped the score-tying single in front of Kyle Farmer in rightfield, staving off defeat for Wise if nothing else. He got the win instead when Zitzner slapped the fourth straight single to rightfield, plating Zeltser from second base. 2-1 Blighters! Del Rio 6.1 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

In other news

June 14 – The Buffaloes beat the Canadiens, 3-1, with a combined 1-hitter from TOP SP Joe Jones (4-5, 3.74 ERA) and CL Josh Boles (3-2, 1.00 ERA, 19 SV). Vancouver only amounts to a sixth-inning single by 1B/2B/OF D.J. Robinson (.231, 2 HR, 15 RBI).
June 16 – The Aces had seen enough of CL Steve Bailey (1-4, 6.07 ERA, 12 SV) and ship him off to Oklahoma City in exchange for two prospects.

Complaints and stuff

I think we need a closer. Maybe that would be a winning move. It’s too late to get insurance for the upcoming Boston series, though.

Del Rio will live with a non-fatal back strain. He was listed as day-today, and given that we had an off day next week anyway we should be able to work around him. He is expected to start on the weekend against the Condors anyway.

I see that the team ranks first in defense in the Continental League. I don’t - … Maud? Maud? Is there some sort of rule where only a team’s best eight fielders count? – No? – Hah! Weird. … Cristiano Carmona claims that Jimmy Wallace has a +0.1 ZR this season. Cristiano, seriously. Any system that gives that guy a plus with the glove is absolutely bogus and bonkers.

Fun Fact: 23 years ago today, Stanley Murphy hit three home runs in a 12-1 rout of the Stars.

That was of course when he was still with the Pacifics. And before his second 3-homer game, too. That one came against these Raccoons in and interleague game in 2012.

Murphy, who was a Critter from 2014 to 2015, but won two rings and a Player of the Year award elsewhere and was inducted in the Hall of Fame last year, was a .288 batter with 371 homers and 1,533 RBI. He only hit 22 bombs for Portland in 218 games, though… His full 2015 campaign for the Coons was the worst of his career on the good side of 40 …