[Westheim]

Raccoons (55-38) vs. Titans (56-36) – July 17-19, 2034

The Raccoons, down 3-6 in the season series, had some rallying to do against these Titans, who came in for a 3-game set with the eighth-best offense in the CL, but also allowing the fewest runs. How well that would gel with the Raccoons, who had suffered the most terrible pains scoring runs the entire month and whose pitching was never shy of a surprise, nasty or nice, remained to be seen…

Projected matchups:
Gilberto Rendon (7-5, 4.66 ERA) vs. Tony Chavez (9-5, 2.42 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (8-4, 3.46 ERA) vs. Rich Willett (8-8, 3.76 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (10-2, 2.38 ERA) vs. Mario Gonzalez (8-4, 3.24 ERA)

Lefty, righty, lefty – I fear for our pelts regardless… Zitzner was in the starting lineup on Monday; maybe seeing a southpaw could revive him, but then again his lips were pretty blue and Dr. Chung’s medical training at the Pyongyang State School of Field Hospital Duty and Butchery had not prepared him for reviving anybody…

Game 1
BOS: CF M. Avila – SS Spataro – LF W. Vega – RF I. Vega – 1B M. Walker – 2B R. West – C Lessman – 3B Gil – P T. Chavez
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Hawkins – 2B Stalker – LF Wallace – 1B Zitzner – CF Reichardt – RF Jennings – C Scheffer – P Rendon

Bad Luck Travis fell to 0-for-28 with a groundout in the first, but at least Wallace’s sac fly had plated Tom Hawkins from third base for the first marker of the game. Hawkins and Stalker had dropped 1-out hits on Tony Chavez, who was opposite Gilberto Rendon, who retired the first seven Titans in order, but I had seen that act before and it usually never ended well and did he really just drill Antonio Gil, well, yes of course he did… Bunted to second by Chavez, Gil scored on Moises’ Avila’s single and the game was tied at one. Portland countered with four straight base runners in the bottom of the inning, sparked by Hawkins drawing a walk. Stalker doubled him home, scored on a Wallace single, and even ZITZNER managed to drop in a ball for a single. Once in a blue moon, even a Travis can find a corn to peck. Mind, the single scored nobody and Reichardt flew out to send everybody back to the dugout, but baby steps, baby steps!

With Rendon leaving the Titans without another hit until Gil’s 2-out single in the fifth that led nowhere, the Raccoons were at least in a good spot for now. When Jimmy Wallace was back up he hit another 2-out single, this time scoring Alberto Ramos in the bottom 5th, running the tally to 4-1, and things looked bright – … until you realized, oops, no, that’s the headlights of a semi truck, and he’s coming right at you and not gonna stop. The Titans had their own 2-out agenda in the sixth inning. The Vegas, Willie and Ivan, got on base, Mark Walker doubled them home in the leftfield corner, and Hawkins’ grip on a fast bouncer by Rhett West barely kept the 4-3 lead intact. Gil’s 1-out triple in the seventh knocked out Rendon; David Fernandez popped up Bobby Beam, and Avila was retired on strikes to save the lead that time, while in between the two Titans’ half-innings the Raccoons had put four runners on base and had scored nobody thanks to Reichardt being caught stealing in a failed hit-and-run with Jennings, and Hawkins flying out to Avila with Jennings, Scheffer, and Berto all aboard. Top 8th, Fernandez walked Willie Vega, but somehow Prieto and Garavito would maneuver through the next batters without forfeiting the game. That would be left to Ed Blair in the ninth. The second-choice dimwit walked David Lessman, the Coons could only get the lead runner on Gil’s grounder, and then Edgar Gonzalez pinch-hit a homer on a 2-2 pitch with two outs to flip the score FINALLY the Titans’ way. It was unbelievable, in the sense that nobody could believe it if it was seen in a ****ing movie. What a terrible script! The Raccoons would bat again in the bottom 9th, leading off with Maruyama in the #9 hole against Tim Zimmerman after the Japanese first baseman had entered in a double switch. He popped out. Ramos singled, then was polished off on Hawkins’ 4-6-3 grounder. 5-4 Titans. Ramos 2-4, BB; Stalker 2-4, 2B, RBI; Wallace 2-3, 3 RBI;

Between Wise and Blair we have 9 blown saves. They are almost ready to catch the total of base stealers that Scheffer and Thompson have thrown out, which is 11.

Game 2
BOS: CF M. Avila – SS Spataro – LF W. Vega – RF I. Vega – 1B M. Walker – 2B R. West – C Lessman – 3B Gil – P Willett
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Zeltser – 2B Stalker – LF Wallace – RF Jennings – CF M. Fernandez – 1B Maruyama – C Thompson – P Sabre

Sabre struck out five the first time through the order, but things quickly turned due south. Gil had already walked in the top 3rd, and so did Keith Spataro with two outs. From here Sabre balked, then conceded a single to left wo Willie Vega. Gil scored, Spataro was thrown out to end the inning, but why not pop the Capt’n Coma before the Coons’ pitcher comes to bat for the first time? When Sabre batted, he struck out, and when he returned to pitching he loaded the bases with nobody out. Ivan Vega singled, Mark Walker singled, Rhett West walked – all with two strikes on each and every one of them. Lessman hit a sac fly, also with two strikes, to give the Titans a 2-0 lead, which was probably game, set, and match at this point…

For now, the Coons talked me down from the stool, though. Manny Fernandez plated Wallace with two outs in the fourth, and Thompson reached leading off the bottom 5th with a double to center and was singled in by Berto to tie the game. The tie remained in place until Sabre was removed after six and a third following a K to West. Hennessy was brought on to face the left-handed bats at the bottom of the order, struck out Lessman, walked Edgar Gonzalez, Monday’s dismal rat that had batted for Gil, then rung up Willett. Scoring another run would help, but the Critters would be batting again in the bottom 9th. At least the worst that could happen now was extras since Wise, Garavito, and Bates had held on and stranded Pat Sanford at third base in the top of the ninth. Portland carted up the 5-6-7 batters against… Willett, who they still hadn’t got out of the game. Billy Jennings’ leadoff double to right-center prompted an intentional walk to Manny Fernandez, and then removal for J.D. Hamm, a right-hander. Hawkins batted for Maruyama and Hamm threw only one pitch to him. Hawkins knocked it to left for a single, Jennings read it well and kicked it in sixth gear right away. Willie Vega’s throw was late – and the Raccoons walked off for once. 3-2 Coons! Ramos 2-4, RBI; Stalker 2-4, 2B; Hawkins (PH) 1-1, RBI;

Game 3
BOS: 3B Gil – SS Spataro – LF W. Vega – CF – M. Avila – RF M. Walker – 2B R. West – C Lessman – 1B E. Gonzalez – P M. Gonzalez
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Zeltser – 2B Stalker – LF Wallace – 1B Zitzner – CF Reichardt – RF Jennings – C Scheffer – P B. Chavez

Mario Gonzalez was lost to injury after only one (scoreless) inning, which gave the Raccoons an edge in what instantly became a must-win game. Right-hander Alan Mays was tabbed for long relief and gave up a run in the bottom 2nd right away. Wallace singled, Zitzner walked (at least something…), and Jennings landed an RBI single. The bases filled up with a Scheffer single, but Chavez whiffed and Berto flew out to Vega to strand three. Relief man remedy was delivered in the top of the third inning, with Mays hitting a double off Chavez, who should be flogged for such offenses, and then scored on a Spataro single to tie the game at one. A Mark Walker homer then gave them the lead in the fourth…

Urgency was not a word that was in the Coons’ dictionary. They reacted by doing NOTHING. Chavez engorged himself in full counts and was done after six innings, but at least Scheffer had caught Avila stealing at some point, so they at least theoretically knew that they could get a runner out this way… Bottom 6th then, with lefty Wyatt Hamill pitching. Stalker legged out a leadoff single that wouldn’t leave the infield, then made for third on Wallace’s single to right, supported by Walker flubbing the pickup for an error. Stalker stayed at third base with the tying run, but Wallace made it to second with the go-ahead marker, IF the 5-6-7 batters could find a productive appearance in their hearts at all. They didn’t. Zitzner, the ****ing ****head, hit a comebacker, Reichardt popped out, and while Jennings walked, that only allowed Scheffer to strike out with three left aboard… Leave me alone, Maud, I will have my Capt’n Coma now! – No, the entire bottle!! (wrestles Maud)

Boston took an insurance run in the eighth; Prieto stupidly issued two walks, and David Fernandez bobbled a Walker grounder with two outs into an RBI infield single. The usual sort of hah-hah by the baseball gods, y’know. Fernandez came apart for another run on Gonzalez and Spataro singles, with a Sean Bowman walk in between, in the ninth inning. Not that it mattered. The Raccoons showed no interest whatsoever of playing October baseball ever again. 4-1 Titans. Stalker 2-4; Wallace 2-4; Jennings 1-2, BB, RBI; Scheffer 2-4;

(holds a bag of ice to his rapidly blackening eye) I forgot that Maud was state vice-champion in wrestling as a junior in high school.

Then she won the damn thing outright in her senior year because all the boys were afraid of her.

Still – ah! – not as bad as Mario Gonzalez, who was done for 12 months with a damaged elbow ligament.

Raccoons (56-40) @ Falcons (49-46) – July 21-23, 2034

The Falcons came in just having traded away SP Mario Bojorques (4-6, 3.91 ERA) for prospects, he was a Thunder now. When they weren’t actively shedding players, they were in fifth place, but 8 1/2 games out in the South. Their offense was crummy, third-fewest runs with the lowest batting average (then again, our second-place average didn’t get us anywhere either). Their pitching was modest, a solid rotation with an explosive bullpen. They had a -26 run differential (Coons: still +72, somehow), so they probably saw the writing on the wall… We had swept them the first time we had seen them this year.

Projected matchups:
Ignacio del Rio (8-4, 3.60 ERA) vs. Chris Turner (0-3, 4.73 ERA)
Pat Okrasinski (10-4, 4.13 ERA) vs. John Jackson (5-9, 4.46 ERA)
Gilberto Rendon (7-5, 4.64 ERA) vs. Matt Moon (10-5, 2.09 ERA)

Southpaw to begin the set, then two right-handers.

Game 1
POR: SS Zeltser – 3B Hawkins – 2B Stalker – LF Wallace – CF Reichardt – RF Jennings – 1B Maruyama – C Thompson – P del Rio
CHA: SS O. Aguirre – LF Trahan – RF Montes – C Huichapa – 1B R. Morales – 3B G. Ortiz – 2B O. Camacho – CF Garbinski – P C. Turner

When Maruyama plated his first run in the majors he did so with Reichardt coming across (wild pitch-aided to boot…) groundout in the second inning. Maruyama, undeterred by having made an OUT, upon crossing first base struck another samurai pose and remained in that until carried back to the dugout by Reichardt and the first base coach. Oh whatever, we’re up 1-0 … The antics got worse in the fifth, which Jennings led off with a double to center – only the Coons’ second base hit in the game – advanced on a passed ball, and scored on a Maruyama single. Now allowed to remain on first base, Maruyama opened the top of his uniform to reveal a gong, which he promptly hit four times with a stick so far hidden in his pants, bowing in one of the four cardinal directions after each gong stroke. Chris Turner was as confused as anybody in this 2-0 game in which both teams had three hits now, with the Falcons having scattered theirs to no great effect so far. Maruyama ended up forced out on a bad bunt by del Rio, for which he berated him with great vigor on his way back to the dugout. Del Rio, not of the friendliest of natures especially when not at his best performance, slapped him in the helmet, leading to intensified bickering from Maruyama, to the first base ump carrying our player away this time, and to me heading for the nearest place that sold alcoholic beverages. The Coons somehow loaded the bases and Tim Stalker outlasted Turner’s junk to draw a 2-out bases-loaded walk, extending the score to 3-0. Wallace then grounded out. Bottom 5th, personalities clashed again; Greg Ortiz singled with one out, then was forced out on Omar Camacho’s grounder to Stalker. Del Rio went on to move the runner to third base via wild pitch and balk, which led to a mound conference… well… Maruyama stomped in and kept bickering at him in broken English, and before long they were both yelling at each other in Japanese and Spanish, respectively. This time Stalker carried Maruyama back to his position. Josh Garbinski then grounded out, stranding the runner at third…

For the second game in a row then, the opposing starting pitcher left with an injury. In Turner’s case it resulted from being run over by Greg Ortiz trying to field del Rio’s 2-out grounder in the top 6th. Ortiz was also removed for Danny Ruiz with a bum knee (probably the one that he slammed into Turner’s noggin), and adding insult to injury, del Rio was safe and Bob Zeltser came up with the bases loaded against lefty Juan Vela… and flew out to Andy Montes in right. Oh boy! Portland stranded another pair in the seventh when Jennings struck out with Wallace and Reichardt in scoring position. The buildup for another collapse was clearly there, but del Rio scattered only five hits in eight shutout innings. Ed Blair scattered another hit in the ninth. Well, that was an Andy Montes homer but at least there was nobody on base……. 3-1 Coons. Zeltser 3-5; Ramos (PH) 1-1; Reichardt 1-2, BB, 2B; del Rio 8.0 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 5 K, W (9-4) and 1-4;

Game 2
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Zeltser – 2B Stalker – LF Wallace – RF Jennings – CF M. Fernandez – 1B Zitzner – C Thompson – P Okrasinski
CHA: SS O. Aguirre – 2B Mack – RF Montes – C Huichapa – 1B R. Morales – 3B G. Ortiz – LF Trahan – CF Hubbard – P J. Jackson

Okrasinski used 20 pitches the first time through the lineup, which sounded better than it was given that he gave up three singles for a run in the bottom 2nd, Brian Hubbard singling home Roberto Morales, and then walked Jackson with two outs. Oscar Aguirre struck out to strand a full set, so at least it happened to the other teams too… Portland did little in the first few innings but sort of strung a few hits together in the top of the fourth. Wallace got on base, was forced out by Jennings, but Fernandez hit a 2-out single. Then came Zitzner, fell to 1-2, flailed and hit a poker to shallow center, and the damn thing dropped between Hubbard and Craig Mack. Since there were two outs, Jennings had gone all the way and scored to tie up the game at one run each. Thompson then drilled an RBI double to left, with Zitzner thrown out at home plate, ending the inning. Meanwhile, Okrasinski REALLY couldn’t handle the set of lefty bats at the bottom of the order; in the bottom 4th, Dave Trahan walked, Hubbard singled, all with two outs, and then Stalker had to stretch them old bones to reach Jackson’s grounder and play it for the third out. He had done away with the top of the order just fine twice, but then put Aguirre and Mack on base to begin the fifth. The defense held that one together, too, with Fernandez robbing Ernesto Huichapa in very deep center, and Stalker reaching for another 2-out grounder, this time Morales’.

Tim Stalker found Thompson (fielder’s choice), Ramos (walk), and Zeltser (single) aboard with two outs in the seventh and actually came through for once, slapping a single over Mack for two runs, 4-1. Jimmy Wallace fired the very next pitch at Mack, who had hit in the cup by a nasty hop and was charged an error for his misery. The bags were full again for Jennings, who saw out a full count, then ended Jackson with a 2-run single to center. Vela rung up Manny Fernandez to end the inning. The Raccoons would get seven complete innings from Okrasinksi on 101 pitches before defaulting to a left-hander for those tough-as-nails lefty bats in the bottom half… Hennessy and Bates ended the game without any funny accidents. 6-1 Critters! Stalker 2-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Zitzner 2-4, RBI; Thompson 2-4, 2B, RBI; Okrasinski 7.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 4 K, W (11-4);

That’s a clean-as-a-whistle 5-0 season series taken against the Falcons, although there was more to lighten a candle of joy in my heart on this day [see below], and there was still the trouble with the unresolved first base situation and the wonky pitching staff…

Game 3
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Zeltser – 2B Stalker – LF Wallace – CF Reichardt – RF M. Fernandez – 1B Zitzner – C Thompson – P Rendon
CHA: SS O. Aguirre – 2B Mack – RF Montes – C Huichapa – 1B R. Morales – 3B G. Ortiz – LF Garbinski – CF Hubbard – P Moon

Craig Mack’s first-inning homer was overturned in the third inning when the Coons got straight hits from their 1-2-3 batters to tie the score, and then a run-scoring groundout from Reichardt to move Zeltser across home plate, too, for a 2-1 lead. Thankfully, Rendon remained reliably **** and allowed a leadoff single to Aguirre in the bottom 3rd. Aguirre stole second, because Thompson was just as **** as Rendon, was doubled home by Montes with a fly to left, where Jimmy Wallace was just as **** as the other two, and then Roberto Morales hit a 2-out blooper for the go-ahead run to score, because the baseball gods were also all full of ****.

Nothing happened in the middle innings. The Raccoons played dead, and the Falcons just missed bowling over Rendon altogether, who conceded nine hits in six innings. Two left-handed Portland relievers (Fernandez, Garavito) then conceded another run in the seventh on two singles by left-handed Falcons hitters (Hubbard, Trahan) to fall behind 4-2. The Falcons pen then had their moment; three different relievers put Stalker, Reichardt, and Fernandez on base in the eighth. Right-hander Andy Cormier (5.84 ERA) then faced Zitzner with three on and two outs, and that was a big NO. Billy Jennings hit for him. …and flew out to Garbinski. Well, WE TRIED. It started to rain in the bottom 8th, in which Chris Wise struck out the side (too late…), and we got a rain delay after Danny Burgess hit Rich Vickers with a pitch to begin the ninth inning. The delay was brief and play resumed with Maruyama hitting in the #9 hole. After falling behind 1-2, the Japanese import of no specific purpose singled to center, so the tying runs were on for the top of the order. Berto struck out (…!), Burgess threw a wild pitch, but Zeltser only managed a sac fly. Tim Stalker ran a full count before slapping a ball through between Danny Ruiz and Roberto Morales on the right side, Maruyama came around and scored, and the game was tied! …and there were also two bat boys waiting at home plate to carry Maruyama away before he could be annoying.

Wise retired the bottom of the order to get the game to extras after Wallace flew out to end the top 9th. The Coons were in a predicament, though, with their bench completely empty and the pitcher batting 7th, or due up third in the 10th inning. Manny Fernandez hit a 1-out single off Pedro Cabrales in his season debut to at least give Wise a chance to bunt. Wise got the bunt down, Manny went to second, Vickers slipped a single through the right side, and Manny came around to score! Maruyama grounded out and we would try our luck with Blair in the bottom of the inning – options were few and far between at this point. Prieto was warming up as reserve, and then we only had an overcooked Hennessy left after that. Danny Ruiz ground out to Zeltser. Trahan fanned. Montes hit a liner to left, where Wallace dwelled. I screamed, Jimmy caught, and the Coons had a sweep in the bag…! 5-4 Critters! Stalker 4-5, 2B, 2 RBI; M. Fernandez 2-4, BB; Vickers (PH) 1-1, RBI; Maruyama 1-2; Wise 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 4 K, W (5-7);

In other news

July 17 – Cursed MIL SP Josh Long (4-11, 3.63 ERA) gets to escape Milwaukee in a trade to the Bayhawks that sends four prospects the Loggers’ way. The package contains #37 prospect SP Sal Chavez.
July 19 – The Knights will be without OF/1B/SS Luis Inoa (.291, 5 HR, 48 RBI) until late August; the 23-year-old is down with an oblique strain.
July 21 – An unearned run ends the Indians’ and Thunder’s 17-inning marathon with a 6-5 Indians walkoff win. Mike Plunkett (.255, 7 HR, 47 RBI) singles home Dan Schneller. The Thunder make four errors in the game, the fatal one being committed by MR George Barnett (4-5, 6.86 ERA, 2 SV), who also gets the loss for his sins.
July 21 – The Warriors beat the Buffaloes, 14-4, on the strength of a 10-run seventh inning that takes the souls of four different Topeka pitchers.
July 22 – The Aces’ SP Nick Danieley (5-11, 5.08 ERA) sparkles in an otherwise rotten season with a no-hitter over the Canadiens! Danieley, 34 years old, walks three and rings up five batters in the Aces’ 2-0 win, which is also the franchise’s first-ever no-hitter.
July 22 – SAL OF/1B Rai Higashi (.298, 10 HR, 45 RBI) has three hits, a homer, a 5 RBI from the leadoff spot in the Wolves’ 18-2 spanking of the Capitals.
July 22 – RIC INF Jose Madrid (.228, 2 HR, 14 RBI) is out for the season with a torn labrum.
July 23 – The disintegrating Loggers send C Jim Young (.298, 3 HR, 34 RBI) to the Titans for another three prospects.
July 23 – The Indians’ 3B Pat Green (.212, 5 HR, 15 RBI) ends their game with the Thunder with a 12th-inning walkoff single, scoring Mike Grigsby for the only run in the 1-0 contest.

Complaints and stuff

Tim Stalker was Player of the Week! Our good old veteran batted .500 (12-24) with no homers (what’s a homer?) and 6 RBI this week. He also walked twice and somehow scored only three times. Stalker had five multi-hit games actually, but went out empty on Friday. It is the second time he was named Player of the Week, the other nod having come in May of ’29.

With my search of pitching improvements (we need a closer so badly…) not bearing much fruit, the Miners made a different offer today. They would send Yvon Bonaccorsi (.308, 8 HR, 34 RBI) over for Justin Marsingill (eh) and Dave Mendoza.

Now, a lot of this sounds good on paper, but … Mendoza is unranked but hitting around .300 in Aumsville and is on the way to Ham Lake at age 19… and Bonaccorsi is a left-handed outfielder, which doesn’t add much variety to the roster… and he is basically Jimmy Wallace with a bit more defense and a lot bigger salary. I’d think we’d want to pass on this one…

Maud called, and three diehard fans are camping in front of the stadium in Portland and hold a vigil for their favorite player, Travis Zitzner. Well, batting 5-for-53 he’s sure dead to me…

You know, Pat Okrasinski was this ho-hum signing because everybody else was supposed to get things done… and yet he leads the team with 11 wins. I guess it helps that they score five runs per game for him, and about two and three quarters for anybody else…..

The next win will be the franchise’s 4,800th in the regular season. The Thunder and Knights will line up next week, and I sure hope we don’t get it against the Knights… Monday will be an off day.

Fun Fact: The damn Elks have been no-hit four times in their existence.

There was Danieley this week. There was Mike Rutkowski in ’26 and Bryan Hanson in ’23 … and of course there was the finest one of all – Nick Brown’s no-hitter in their stupid faces, 18 years ago this September!