[Westheim]

After our inglorious return to Portland, I immediately absconded and disappeared for days. By the time Maud found me without pants, sprawled on the counter at a shady shanty near the Columbia River docks called “The One-Eyed Assassin’s Arms”, the Capitals had a lead of two games to one. By the time she had me sobered up and redressed, the national anthem played for Game 5.

I was no joy to be around of for at least another week afterwards, but when had I ever been? As exhilarating as the rally from 46-62 had been, as suffocating had been the smothering Game 7 defeat. The way they had played suggested that maybe we should get a new offense AND a new pitching staff – although that was probably unfair. Through at least Game 3 the Raccoons had been gritty and tough as nails, and looking back – though hindsight was 20/20 and in 2020 the Coons had blown up a tie-breaker game by pitching NICK ****ING LESTER in extra innings – we probably lost the series all the way back in Game 1, squandering a scoring opportunity in the top of the ninth before being walked off on. If the Coons win that game, they’re up 3-0 after one day back in Portland.

In the end, we ran into Juan Garcia three times, and never could beat the old leather boot (and neither could the Caps; he won Game 3). The 29-year-old Dominican, who was an ardent student of the game and watched hours of video each day of pitchers AND hitters, went 3-0 with a 2.56 ERA in four starts in the postseason, winning every game he entered but Game 1 in the CLCS. This was on the heels of 23.2 innings in the previous playoffs in which nobody had scored on him at all. For his career, he was 4-0 with a 1.46 ERA in seven playoff starts. Most of the damage this year was done by the Capitals, with the Coons only scoring six runs (five earned) in 24 innings against him. Garcia had won the CLCS, and had the Condors given him the chance to pitch Game 7 in the World Series, they probably would have walked away winners.

The really fun part? He was a late bloomer. All the miracles he had done, he had done for the league minimum. He hadn’t even become a starter for Tijuana until halfway through the 2034 season…!

Which brought us to our own pitchers, contracts, and coffers. It was the same spiel as every year, with Nick Valdes complaining about the lack of results and then after lots of begging wiring a check anyway.

This year’s check amounted to $37.5M, up $3M from last year, moving the Raccoons from t-15th to t-12th in the ABL, matching the Gold Sox’ budget. It would certainly allow a move or two, and those would be necessary, but more on that later.

The top 5 spenders were the Titans ($49.5M), Pacifics ($48.5M), Condors ($48M), Warriors ($47.5M), and Capitals ($45M). In the bottom 5 you’d find the Buffaloes ($29.4M), Aces ($27.6M), Rebels, Loggers ($25.2M each), and Falcons ($23.8M).

The missing CL North teams were t-9th (NYC, $39M), 14th (IND, $36.5M), and 17th (VAN, $33M).

The average budget was $37.05M, about $150k more than a year ago. The median budget amounted to $37.5M, up $1M from last season.

All of this brought us swiftly to what the dough would be spent on, and that was mostly players. The first round of decisions would come up in arbitration hearings. The Raccoons had ten arbitration eligible players and four free agents that were interesting in that regard, with most of their bullpen getting involved. This included closer Ed Blair, who voided his 2036 contract via player option to test the free agency waters at age 33. Like the other free agency cases (Zitzner, Zeltser, Gowan), he was not compensation eligible, which was highly regrettable. Off the top of my head, Zeltser might be the only guy we’d offer another contract to, but he’d have to take a bit of a cut from his $1.62M salary given he had hit for a .670 OPS…

The arbitration list included a bunch of players that were non-tender candidates with Bates, Scheffer, Marsingill, and Salgado. Hennessy looked completely messed up, too, unraveled by injuries, and he’d cost half a million to keep around. We could save over $2M by dumping all five of those, turn half of it into a contract for Bob Zeltser, and still have roundabout $5M left over to take to the marketplace. Or, given how our recent acquisitions went, make a road trip to Reno and bet it all on black. That sounded about as smart as bringing in Adam Avakian in the Zitzner trade with the Knights, dumping him on the Caps, and then claiming Zitzner off waivers.

So the Raccoons had potentially big construction projects on both infield corners and in their pen. We were certainly trying to improve the team rather than tearing it down. Why would we tear it down? We were division champs! …on a solid 84 wins. (cough)