[Westheim]

I don’t know, Nick, why *haven’t* we won a game yet? – Maybe because it’s only the second breakfast and the first game of the season won’t start for another couple of hours? Just sit down and drink like all of us. Or knit. Maud is knitting.

Raccoons (0-0) vs. Indians (0-0) – April 8-10, 2036

The Raccoons had won 11 games from the Indians in 2035, but notably none of two played on August 3, the nadir of a so far rancid season that suddenly turned into a fairytale, with the “once upon a time” being read merely 24 hours later.

Projected matchups:
Gilberto Rendon (0-0) vs. Andy Bressner (0-0)
Colt Willes (0-0) vs. Josh Walsh (0-0)
Bernie Chavez (0-0) vs. John Nelson (0-0)

Not a southpaw to be seen in this series!

Game 1
IND: RF P. Sanchez – 2B Schneller – CF Baron – LF Garbinski – 1B McGrath – SS Zeltser – C J. Herrera – 3B Czachor – P Bressner
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Myers – 1B Harenberg – CF Fowler – LF Wallace – C Morales – RF M. Fernandez – 2B Stalker – P Rendon

The season began with Rendon branding 41-year-old Pablo Sanchez with a 1-2 pitch, which was certainly not a sign of respect towards the elderly. On the following grounders the Raccoons twice failed to turn two, and John Baron stole second base after the second fielder’s choice, which allowed him to score on Josh Garbinski’s single, putting the Arrowheads up 1-0. The Raccoons promptly didn’t get a base hit until Rendon singled with two outs in the third, instantly intensifying Nick Valdes’ grumpiness. – Well, I don’t know, Nick, maybe you should try grabbing a bat and taking a swing at Andy Bressner! – Where are you going? – Nick! – Nick! – … – Maud! Maud, tell the equipment guy in the clubhouse that Nick Valdes is going to try and wrestle a bat from- … – What do you mean, Maud, you ‘tackled Nick Valdes’??

The Indians had the bases loaded with two outs in the fifth inning after Bressner had forced out Juan Herrera with a bad bunt, Sanchez had drawn a 2-out walk, and Dan Schneller had singled through Dave Myers. John Baron hit a 1-0 pitch to the left side. Ramos had to lunge and knocked it down deep on the dirt, but had no play, and it was 2-0 on the infield single. Josh Garbinski grounded out afterwards, but it was now about time for some offense. Did you hear that, boys!? (bangs fist against the window front) It’s time for some offense!!

Manny Fernandez was the first position player to actually reach base in 2036, hitting a single in the bottom 5th that led absolutely nowhere. The bottom 6th began with Rendon being hit for after throwing over 90 pitches, many of them inefficient. Ed Hooge flew out to left in his spot, but then the bases filled via walks; Berto reached, and so did Myers and Fowler with two outs. Jimmy Wallace had the bags full and a chance to do damage. His zinger to the right side eluded Schneller for a base hit. Berto scored, Myers got a great jump and scored, and Fowler went to third by the time Sanchez collected the leather sphere. Tied ballgame – and then Tony Morales grounded out. Casey Moore then made his Raccoons debut, and could not have gone much more pear-shaped. Bressner lined out hard to Fernandez to begin the inning, and before long he had walked Sanchez and gave up a 2-run BOMB to John Baron. Two singles off Mauricio Garavito and two 2-out walks issued by Dusty Kulp pushed in another run in the eighth, with Juan Camps drawing the bases-loaded walk to push home an insurance run. Schneller popped out to strand three, but the Raccoons were adrift and nothing could save them. 5-2 Indians.

Yeom Soung made his Raccoons debut in the ninth, getting two pops for the final two outs the Indians made in this game.

Game 2
IND: RF P. Sanchez – 2B Schneller – CF Baron – LF Garbinski – 1B McGrath – SS Zeltser – C J. Herrera – 3B Lambright – P J. Walsh
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Myers – 1B Harenberg – CF Fowler – LF Wallace – C Morales – RF M. Fernandez – 2B Stalker – P Willes

Myers and Harenberg went to the corners with base hits in the bottom 1st, but Justin Fowler remained 113 behind his 2035 RBI total with a 6-4-3 grounder. Myers would reach base again in the fourth, leading off via catcher’s interference, which was a novel way of maybe please finally getting something going? Harenberg singled to right, Fowler grounded to left, and Kevin Harenberg broke up the double play in a very rustic manner against Dan Schneller, but unfortunately suffered the worst of it and had to be picked up by an eye-rolling Dr. Chung, who had to support Harenberg as they walked off the field. Here, the Raccoons tried a novel approach – Jimmy Wallace moved to first base, Fernandez to left, and Preston Pinkerton would enter the game in rightfield. The momentary shock about losing the assumed #3 batter to injury notwithstanding, the Raccoons still had runners on the corners and their only guy with an RBI on the season at the plate with one out. Wallace lined out to Schneller, Morales popped out, and nobody scored.

Bottom 5th, still scoreless, Manny led off with a single, then was joined on base by Tim Stalker, who drew four balls. Willes bunted them over into scoring position after popping balls foul twice. Berto was hitless on the season, but the Indians went for the proven double play approach and walked him intentionally to get Dave Myers up, who was however unretired in the game. When Myers popped out foul instead, that brought up proven slugger Kevin Haren- oh for ****’s sake. First at-bat of the season for Preston Pinkerton. But what the **** do I know? Pinkerton zinged the first pitch he saw over the head of Bob Zeltser, who looked familiar for some reason, two runs scored on the single, Pinkerton moved up to second on the throw to home plate that was nowhere near in time to get Stalker, Fowler was walked intentionally, and then Wallace popped out on a 3-1 pitch, leading me to spontaneously break a glass of Capt’n Coma in my paw.

The Raccoons would hold on to that 2-0 lead through eight, with Willes throwing just 79 pitches to get there, whiffing four. The problem was that they never tacked on to that lead, finally stranding Morales and Fernandez on base in the bottom 8th when Kurt Wall pinch-hit for Tim Stalker, but flew out to end the inning. That didn’t force a pinch-hitter into the #9 spot, but the Indians would bring the 2-3-4 batters to the plate in the ninth, and could Willes continue to fool them? There was an argument to be made about 79 pitches through eight being indicative of total control. You go, Colt! You go! Schneller opened with a single on a 1-2 pitch, but we wouldn’t make move with Baron, who was an easy strikeout, but could homer off anybody. He ran the count to 2-2, then grounded to Rich Vickers at the keystone. Vickers’ first chance of ’36 was a 4-6-3 double play, pushing the tying run back to the on-deck circle with left-handed Garbinski coming up. Willes remained in the game of course, Garbinski grounded to the right side, Vickers remained in control of that ball, too, and the Coons got into the W column on a complete-game 4-hit shutout! 2-0 Critters! Harenberg 2-2; Pinkerton 1-2, 2 RBI; Morales 3-4; M. Fernandez 2-4, 2B; Willes 9.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 4 K, W (1-0);

Alright, we’re in the win column! Now let’s get the offense going. Listen up, boys! If you can knock out Nelson before the sixth in the rubber game, we’re all going to that all-you-can-eat place in Rosewood!

(Berto, Fowler, and the rest immediately scramble to watch video of John Nelson)

Game 3
IND: RF P. Sanchez – 2B Schneller – CF Baron – LF Garbinski – 1B McGrath – SS Zeltser – C J. Herrera – 3B Czachor – P J. Nelson
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Myers – 1B Wallace – CF Fowler – RF M. Fernandez – C Wall – 2B Vickers – LF Hooge – P Chavez

The all-you-can-eat place in Rosewood was probably safe from bankruptcy given that Bernie Chavez was the only Raccoon to reach base safely the first time through the order, and then was double-played into oblivion by Berto’s grounder to Schneller. It was another scoreless game through three at least, but Dan Schneller hit a leadoff jack in the fourth, and that was that… Bernie Chavez reacted like any good pitcher would, by walking Baron, throwing a wild pitch, and walking Garbinski anyway. Somehow a combo of a strikeout, popout, and groundout kept the Indians from adding to their 1-0 lead.

No other Raccoon got on until Kurt Wall doubled in the bottom 5th, representing the tying run in scoring position with one out. He scored when Bob Zeltser threw away Vickers’ 1-2 grounder in such way that it caromed off the ducking first base umpire’s back and took out a food tray held by an eight-year old in the first row of the stands on the first base side. The kid immediately burst into tears with his $28 fries on the ground (and with Preston Pinkerton and Raffaello Sabre trying to reach some through the fencing separating stands and dugout), but the tying run was in! That was also all the Critters got despite a 2-out single by Chavez, who now had 67% of the team’s hits in the game, with Berto remaining hitless with a grounder to Schneller that stranded runners on the corners.

99 pitches got Bernie Chavez through seven, after which he left with a no-decision as the Raccoons’ offense remained patently crummy. David Fernandez and Casey Moore pieced the eighth together around a Sanchez single off the former, but all the Coons got in the bottom 8th was a Myers walk with two gone already. Chris Wise made his first appearance of the year in a 1-1 tie in the top of the ninth, allowed a leadoff single to Garbinski, but retired the next three, including two strikeouts. The walkoff chance was real against Nelson, who was STILL in the game on a 4-hitter, and would face the 4-5-6 batters in the bottom 9th, so first up was Fowler, who like Berto was absolutely hitless in 2036. He remained as such, flying out to left. Manny singled up the middle, knocking out Nelson (no boys, too late!) in favor of Tim Thweatt. Fernandez was caught stealing, Wall reached on a Ryan Czachor error, and Vickers struck out, sending the game to extras where the top 10th saw Dusty Kulp park them on the corners, then having Manny Fernandez make a flying catch in the gap to retire John Baron to end the inning… Berto walked in the bottom 10th, but was picked off, after which the Coons sent Prieto into the game. Antonio Prieto was the last non-SP player to see action in ’36 and he was scheduled to pitch a few innings unless some team would finally break the oppressive silence. Prieto had to do two rounds before Chris Henry’s second inning of work in the bottom 12th saw a walk to Kurt Wall, then an actual mistake to Rich Vickers that was hit well and far and later measured at 400 feet to left-center – it also ended the game. 3-1 Coons. Vickers 2-5, HR, 2 RBI; Chavez 7.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 5 K and 2-2; Prieto 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K, W (1-0);

No, boys, the all-you-can-eat place has closed already. You took too long to win! Score more runs earlier next time!

Nick Valdes expressed concern about the Coons scoring only seven runs in 30 innings so far, and did it in the worst way, conversing with Steve from Accounting how to best get a substantial write-off on the Raccoons for his personal income tax statement.

He also had to leave after this series. Something about having to make a girl disappear that knew too much, which he freely told Slappy and me, but neither of us were listening after that walk Wall drew in the 12th…

By Thursday, the Kevin Harenberg thing dissipated into a pile of ash more or less precisely amounting to $2.4M when Dr. Chung reported that Harenberg had hopelessly ****ed up his shoulder in the on-base collision and was out for the season, which of course rendered his vesting option worthless. He was off to the 60-day DL, I was mildly comatose for most of Friday, and the Raccoons did the unspeakable and called up Chiyosaku Maruyama, who had batted a dismal .247/.324/.340 in 30 games with Portland in ’35.

Raccoons (2-1) vs. Knights (3-1) – April 11-13, 2036

The Knights had won a series with the Thunder and were currently leading the CL South, not that that meant anything – the Loggers were leading the North with a 1-0 record, owing to a win over the Crusaders and a rainout in their only two games scheduled so far. Atlanta had scored 23 runs in four games, which seemed impossibly much to us. They had also hit SIX homers already. The Raccoons barely had six RUNS. Last year we had lost seven of nine games against them.

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (0-0) vs. Terry Garrigan (0-0)
Darren Brown (0-0) vs. Roland Warner (0-1, 6.75 ERA)
Gilberto Rendon (0-0, 3.00 ERA) vs. Armando Zaragoza (1-0, 2.25 ERA)

Warner was the first southpaw we’d see this year. But first we’d deal with 25-year-old fourth-year swingman Terry Garrigan, who had 76 appearances in the majors, but only seven of them starts. His career ERA was 4.20.

Game 1
ATL: CF J. Simmons – LF Inoa – RF Pincus – 1B K. Henderson – 3B Maneke – SS Thomson – C Horner – 2B Ryu – P Garrigan
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Myers – LF Wallace – CF Fowler – C Morales – RF M. Fernandez – 2B Stalker – 1B Maruyama – P Sabre

Hiroaki Ryu drove in the game’s first run with a 2-out RBI single in the second inning after Sabre had allowed a single to Chris Maneke and walked Adam Horner. Garrigan popped out, keeping two on, but here the long wait for offense began again. Berto had opened the bottom 1st with a walk before he’d been doubled up by Myers, and Fowler grounded out to open the bottom 2nd, putting him and Ramos at a combined 0-for-23 to begin the season.

Terry Garrigan wouldn’t get the win, but not for an offensive outburst by the Portlanders. Biceps tendinitis culled him after three innings, leaving the Knights’ pen to fight for the W. Before they could blow much, a rain shower doused the ballpark and gave everybody a 40-minute timeout. Sabre returned on the other side of it and held off the Knights in the top 4th. In the bottom of the inning, Alfredo Flores walked Myers with one out, then allowed a 2-out single to Fowler(!) – it lives! It lives! Rejoice! Tony Morales then tied the game with a single to right before Fernandez grounded out to Ryu and stranded two. The top 5th began with Horner being nailed by Sabre before Ryu snuck a ball up the middle for a single. PH Manny Delgado flew to left, where Jimmy Wallace made a tumbling catch, then remained on the ground, dazed. Dr. Chung had to collect him as well, and I started to get water in my eyeballs… Ed Hooge replaced him in this game. Justin Simmons’ comebacker was taken for an out at second base by Sabre, but the Coons got only the one out and runners were on the corners with two outs for Luis Inoa, who hit a slow grounder to right, testing the paws of Tim Stalker – but at 37 years old he was still a better defender than the Jimmy Wallaces of the world would ever be – he hustled in, grabbed the ball and flung it in one fluid motion to Maruyama, who was a ****ty hitter, but could at least stretch in sufficient fashion and contained the ball for the third out of the inning.

Portland scratched out a 2-1 lead in the bottom 5th on Stalker’s leadoff double and a Sabre single. They could have gotten more, but Sabre inexplicably got run down between first and second despite the first base coach repeatedly yelling for him to stop at first. Berto drew a walk, stole second, and was left stranded. At least that was the team’s first stolen base of the year ticked off. The lead wasn’t meant to last. Top 6th, Edwin Rendon walked, then Kumanosuke Henderson reached on a Myers error, two on, nobody out. Chris Maneke popped out, Keith Thomson grounded out, but the runners advanced, then then Horner drove them both in with a single, flipping the score. Atlanta then tacked on a run against the confused pairing of Moore and Garavito in the seventh, who allowed two walks and a Henderson RBI single between them.

While the Raccoons had a runner on base in the seventh and eighth innings, they didn’t reach scoring position again until the ninth when Tony Morales led off with a double against Marcus Goode, bringing the tying run to the plate with three chances to make up a 4-2 deficit. Fernandez grounded out. Stalker whiffed. Kurt Wall batted for Maruyama and … whiffed. 4-2 Knights. Morales 2-4, 2B, RBI; Soung 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 4 K;

Dr. Chung told me the most fascinating thing on Friday night – that Jimmy Wallace and Kevin Harenberg had almost identical shoulder injuries, the most amazing coincidence he had seen in his career, well, except for that one time he treated several soldiers with shrapnel injuries from friendly fire during an army exercise north of Pyongyang. Since Wallace was younger, he was expected to recover sooner and maybe we would get him back as early as August!

I sat there, numb, and couldn’t even cry.

Since things had to be managed by somebody, Cristiano Carmona arranged for Wallace and his partially torn labrum to be transferred to the DL. The Raccoons called up scabby super utility Vince Lutch from AAA, but were trying to get another deal secured.

Game 2
ATL: CF J. Simmons – LF Inoa – RF Pincus – 1B K. Henderson – 3B Maneke – SS Thomson – C Horner – 2B Ryu – P R. Warner
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Myers – C Wall – CF Fowler – 2B Stalker – LF Hooge – 1B Maruyama – RF Pinkerton – P Brown

There were a total of seven base hits in the Coons’ Saturday lineup, and while Wall and Fowler added two more in the bottom 1st, nobody scored after the pair of 2-out singles. Wall hit another 2-out single in the third inning, then with Dave Myers on base, but Fouler fowled out behind home plate and that was that… The Knights didn’t touch Brown for a hit until the fourth and then wrapped Justin Simmons up in a Luis Inoa-sponsored double play, and so we had our third game of the season that was scoreless after three innings.

While Darren Brown pitched six and two thirds scoreless to give his team every chance they deserved, he never got a run of support, and in fact no Critter reached base in the middle innings, not even by mercifully being nailed in the noggin’. Brown’s end came after a valiant fight with a 2-out walk to Chris Maneke and the single Keith Thomson hit up the middle, which was only the second hit off Brown in the game. With left-handed Adam Horner up, the Coons sent David Fernandez, who walked Horner, saw Ryu break the tie by legging out an infield roller against Dave Myers, and then gave up a clean single for two runs against PH Brian Eppler. Portland randomly picked up a run after Tim Stalker’s leadoff triple in the bottom 7th, with Ed Hooge nipping that rare RBI with a groundout before the inning devolved into more of nothing. Top 8th, Dusty Kulp faced three and retired one, and Mauricio Garavito was no help whatsoever, walking PH Jimmy Wood to fill the bases and giving up a sac fly to Thomson, 4-1. Come the bottom 9th, Alfredo Flores faced the 4-5-6 batters. Fowler led off with a single to left (.167, yay!) and Tim Stalker creamed the living **** out of a baseball for a 2-run homer that unfortunately still left the team one run short. Hooge flew out to left. Morales batted for Maruyama and grounded out. Manny Fernandez batted for Pinkerton and singled up the middle! … Unfortunately once more, the bench was about empty by now. Hitting for Antonio Prieto would be … Vince Lutch. He ran a full count before poking at a low offering and grounding out to short. 4-3 Knights. Wall 2-4; Fowler 2-4; Stalker 2-4, HR, 3B, 2 RBI; M. Fernandez (PH) 1-1;

Is that it? Was that all there was to our season? Is it over? Is it gonna be 157 more games like THIS?

Maud?

Maud, help??

In other news

In an early sign of trouble, the Raccoons were awarded the contract of 26-yr old left-handed hitter OF Jason Keller off waivers by the Warriors on Sunday. The 2028 third-rounder had some bench-riding experience in the majors. He could play all three outfield positions reasonably well and wasn’t swinging at garbage. Unfortunately, he had no power and only modest speed, but at least he made the minimum. Keller was 1-for-2 on the season with 2 RBI, somehow. For his career, he was a .260 batter with no homers in 123 at-bats and 14 RBI.

Vince Lutch was returned to AAA with the addition of Keller.

Raccoons (2-1) vs. Knights (3-1) – April 11-13, 2036

Game 3
ATL: CF J. Simmons – LF Inoa – RF Pincus – 1B K. Henderson – 3B Maneke – SS Thomson – C Horner – 2B Ryu – P Zaragoza
POR: SS Ramos – RF M. Fernandez – C Morales – CF Fowler – LF Hooge – 2B Vickers – 3B Marsingill – 1B Maruyama – P Rendon

Luis Inoa’s slam was the first scoring in the game, occurring in the third inning after a soft Horner single, a screaming Ryu double, a must-get K against the picher, and then a clumsy walk facing Simmons. Rendon’s fastball was then hit 390 feet by the leftfielder, and the Raccoons were guaranteed dead for the day, given that they had yet to score more than three runs in a game this year. Rendon then fell to 3-0 against Roy Pincus before giving up a bomb to deep center, 5-0, before finishing the inning and depressingly hitting a leadoff single to right in the bottom 3rd, the first base knock for Portland on Sunday. Berto then grounded to second face for a fielder’s choice, dropping to 0-for-18 (with five walks) on the season. He then stole second base and scored when Manny Fernandez went yard to right, cutting the dismal score to 5-2.

On to the bottom 5th, where Fernandez opened with a double and advanced on a balk before he had to watch Morales and Fowler strike out in neat unison. Miraculously, Ed Hooge singled through the left side to score him with two outs, and the Raccoons found two more 2-out hits from Vickers and Marsingill to score Hooge as well, but with the tying run 90 feet away in Vickers, Maruyama popped out to end the inning and leave the team down 5-4. Rendon didn’t see his deficit erased despite holding on admirably outside of the third-inning carnage; he pitched into the sixth, getting a grounder from Kumanosuke Henderson before David Fernandez replaced him to retire the two left-handers after that. The exchange happened in a double switch that entered Dave Myers in the #9 hole and removing Maruyama from the game. Myers led off the bottom 6th, but grounded out before Berto legged out an infield roller for his first damn base hit of the season…! Zaragoza threw a wild pitch to advance him, then walked Manny Fernandez. Tony Morales, next to Fernandez the only Raccoon with a good batting average (both trying to hug .400), hit a screamer over the head of Henderson at 1-1. The ball went up the line for extra bases, Berto scored to tie the game, and the go-ahead runs were in scoring position for Fowler, who had STILL zero RBI on the season. The Knights had no interest in enabling him and put him onto the open base with intent, preferring to go after career slouch Ed Hooge, who grounded to right on 2-1, but the Knights only got Fowler at second and the return throw was not in time – Fernandez scored with the go-ahead run, 6-5…! Vickers grounded out.

David Fernandez and Kulp held on the in the seventh, which in clearer terms meant that Fernandez retired a pair before Kulp walked PH Luis Leija before having Myers make a hero’s play on a Simmons shot right at his striped face. Jason Keller pinch-hit and grounded out in an uneventful bottom 7th, then stayed in rightfield with Yeom Soung assuming pitching duties in the #5 hole deserted by Hooge. Inoa singled off him to begin the eighth, but after Pincus popped out, Henderson hit into a 6-4-3 double play. When no insurance run materialized it was on Chris Wise to removed the 5-6-7 batters in the ninth inning. Wood grounded out. Thomson whiffed. And Horner looked at a 1-2 slider that ticked the corner to get punched out. 6-5 Critters. M. Fernandez 2-3, 2 BB, HR, 2B, 2 RBI;

In other news

April 8 – WAS SP Michael Frank (1-0, 0.00 ERA) 2-hits the Rebels in a 7-0 shutout. Frank, 32, strikes out nine for a stellar start to the season.
April 9 – While the Stars romp the Pacifics, 11-2 (for the second game in a row!), despite being out-hit 11-9, DAL LF Abel Madsen (.417, 1 HR, 7 RBI) drives in five runs on two hits, including a 3-run homer.
April 10 – All three Continental League games end in walkoff homers. In addition to POR 2B Rich Vickers going yard for a 12-inning, 3-1 win over the Indians, the Bayhawks are lifted, 7-6 over the Condors, by 1B/C Danny Monge (.600, 1 HR, 2 RBI), and the Knights walk off, 7-4, on the Thunder thanks to 1B Kumanosuke Henderson (.385, 1 HR, 5 RBI).
April 12 – CIN OF Ken Gibbs (.250, 0 HR, 1 RBI) will be out for a month with an oblique strain.
April 13 – CIN OF/1B Dick Oshiita (.348, 1 HR, 4 RBI) has a 20-game hitting streak stretching back to 2035 after landing one hit in a 6-5 loss to the Warriors.

Complaints and stuff

(sits calmly at his desk with his hair and the drapes on fire) Well. That went well! With Kevin Harenberg out for the season after one-and-a-half games, the Raccoons have to dig deep into the bag of dirty tricks to find a workaround. Jimmy Wallace at first quickly disappeared off the list, and Maruyama definitely isn’t it. Jeff Wilson isn’t ready for primetime. The fourth option would be Jesus Maldonado, who is a competent first baseman, but ALSO isn’t ready for primetime.

No, by the way to – (pauses as Maud empties another bucket of water over his unextinguishable head) … pfft! No to just trading for a good guy. The coffers are empty. We paid all we had to Harenberg, banking on 20 homers and 100 RBI from a 38-year-old, and Jimmy Wallace, calculating that at least he wasn’t getting hurt since he didn’t make any play to begin with…

And so the Raccoons put in a waiver claim on a no-good outfielder in the first week of the season. A truly useless sucker, but at least he made the minimum, and that was still too much for him. – Oh, hi, Jason. Welcome to Portland.

Justin Fowler has no RBI. Alberto Ramos has no base hit that reached as far as the infield dirt. Only one starter logged a win. Dusty Kulp has five walks in 2.1 innings.

Colt Willes had his fifth career shutout on Wednesday, and his second with the Coons. Last year he shut out the Crusaders in July, which was his only complete game of the season.

Fun Fact: Tim Stalker has an extra-base hit of every kind, but no singles.

That is the only stat I can think of that doesn’t make me fumble in the wall sockets with Maud’s knitting needles.