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Old 05-26-2020, 05:48 PM   #3207
Westheim
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Germany
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(drags his tired bum into the office on Monday morning)

Good morning, Slappy. I see you have already made coffee for me as well…

(picks up freshly opened bottle of booze and closes the door, revealing David Fernandez sticking upside down to the inside of the door, whiskers twitching agitatedly)

David, why … why are you sticking to the inside of my door? – Why did you expect me to know the answer to that? – No, I don’t know what happened to the barrel of whipping cream after you fell head-first into it. How does that even… (tugs away at paw that remains stuck to the door)

Maud. – Maud. – Maaaaauuud. – I need your help.

(Maud pokes her head around the door and notices David Fernandez stuck upside down)

Don’t chuckle. – Maud, I don’t want to look at that all day. Do something.

+++

(sits in the seats on the first base side with Raffaello Sabre’s first pitch coming up and Chad giving his all in the raccoon costume to entertain some screaming kids close by)

Well, I’m glad we could talk that through.

Raccoons (50-47) vs. Condors (56-43) – July 28-30, 2036

Both teams were in second place, but while the Condors were still entertaining real chances with only 5 1/2 games to make up, the Coons had dropped to 10 games out last week and there was no hope for them anymore. Another year where the Titans had the division won by July… The season series stood at 2-1 against the team with the third-most runs in the Continental League, which was of course not the Raccoons. They also had allowed the third-fewest runs.

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (5-6, 3.90 ERA) vs. George Griffin (7-7, 3.82 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (5-8, 3.27 ERA) vs. Jaden Baldwin (2-3, 3.51 ERA)
Josh Livingston (0-1, 6.00 ERA) vs. Omar Uribe (8-8, 3.46 ERA)

All three pitchers were right-handers. And IF there was a team ravaged as bad as the Raccoons it was those Condors. They had a number of good players on the DL, including Tomas Caraballo, Juan Palbes, Chris Murphy, Ethan Jordan, and ex-Coon Ed Blair, plus a few bit players like John Jacobs and Marquis Stubblefield.

Game 1
TIJ: 1B Zuazo – SS Bensinger – RF Willie Ojeda – 3B Sanks – LF J. Williams – 2B R. West – C Tovias – CF McNaughton – P Griffin
POR: SS Downs – LF Hooge – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – 2B Vickers – 1B Maldonado – 3B Marsingill – P Sabre

Jason Bensinger’s double play grounder erased Alvin Zuazo’s leadoff single, but Sabre was insisting, he’d give a run in the bloody first! Willie Ojeda slapped a single off him, stole second base, then scored on a double by dismal skunk weasel Shane Sanks, who at least was nearly as old as Tim Stalker and whose career would soon enough find a natural stopping point, which was the only consolation left to me as I gnawed on a $16 hot dog. The Raccoons had no hits after three innings, but Tony Morales would jump on a fastball for a solo homer in the bottom 4th, tying the game at one, and the next inning Downs singled home Marsingill for a 2-1 lead.

Of course Sabre would not make it out of the next inning with that lead intact; Bensinger led off with a double, advanced on a balk (…!!), Ojeda walked, stole second again, and then finally the Condors got the tying run on Sanks’ groundout. Justin Williams then smacked a go-ahead RBI single, 3-2. Sabre got rid of the bottom of the order in the seventh, including a K to Elias Matias Tovias Diaz, longtime Critters backstop that was not at all sorely missed, but never got a lead again. Preston Pinkerton hit for him after Marsingill’s 2-out single off George Griffin, who then left for an injury, and struck out against Josh Heckman. Chris Wise and Yeom Soung did not allow another run to the Condors in the eighth and ninth innings, but the Critters then still stared down the loaded barrel of Ray Andrews (1.28 ERA) in the ninth inning. For a major miracle, Justin Fowler led off the inning with a liner up the rightfield line for a TRIPLE, putting the tying run 90 feet away! Morales struck out, but Rich Vickers hit a sac fly to tie the game. Maldonado walked, but was stranded, and the game went to extras. After Soung held the Condors off in the 10th, Chiyosaku Maruyama batted for him to begin the bottom 10th and got nailed by Jeff Little. Adam Downs couldn’t get a bunt down and popped out eventually, and Ed Hooge also flew out in unhelpful fashion. With two outs Manny Fernandez dropped a single into center, extending his hitting streak well past a decent time. Maruyama reached second base, then was run for by the other Japanese tossaway on the roster, Yukitsura Hirai. It was for naught – Fowler popped out to Rhett West at 1-2, extending the game to the 11th. Mauricio Garavito allowed a single to Ojeda in the top of the inning, but the skunk weasel hit into a double play, and when the bottom of the 11th came around, Tony Morales led off with a single to right. Vickers popped out and the Condors stuck to Little against the right-handed side dishes at the bottom of the order, too – a fatal mistake once Jesus Maldonado hit a liner up the leftfield line, Justin Williams couldn’t cut the ball off, and even Tony Morales had ample time to come all the way around to score on the walkoff double! 4-3 Coons! Morales 2-5, HR, RBI; Marsingill 2-4;

That came as a surprise.

No, Chad, I still don’t wanna dance with you. Why is there an encouragement on the scoreboard reading “Dance, Dance, Grumpy Grandpa”??

Game 2
TIJ: 1B Zuazo – SS Bensinger – RF Willie Ojeda – 3B Sanks – LF J. Williams – 2B R. West – C Tovias – CF McNaughton – P Baldwin
POR: SS Downs – LF Hooge – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – 2B Vickers – 1B Maldonado – 3B Marsingill – P Chavez

After a top 1st in which Bernie struck out and stranded three each, Manny Fernandez extended his hitting streak to 15 games early this time, doubling to center in the bottom 1st. Fowler singled him across for the first run of the game, but the lead was in grave danger after Tovias singled to begin the top 2nd and Marsingill threw away Baldwin’s bunt for two bases. A strikeout to Zuazo and a pop by Bensinger sorted things out, but just barely…

Bernie would contribute on offense in the bottom 3rd with a leadoff single, being the first to score when Adam Downs went yard to right-center, but then gave back a run in the top 4th on Zuazo’s 2-out double that plated David McNaughton, 3-1. Bensinger flew out to Fernandez to end the inning. The bottom of the order remained a problem, as was his control in the game. With a great deal of pitches wasted, the 100-pitch mark neared in the sixth inning, which also saw Tovias and McNaughton take up the corners with base hits. Baldwin was rung up for the second out, bringing back Zuazo, a .299 hitter with eight homers. Chavez wore him down for a strikeout, but looked pretty gassed after 103 pitches in six all too busy innings. When his spot came up with Vickers (single) and Marsingill (intentional walk) on base and two outs in the bottom 6th, the Raccoons had to bat for him. Maruyama ****tily flew out to center on the first pitch.

To anybody’s surprise, neither Antonio Prieto facing the middle of the order in the seventh, nor Dusty Kulp facing simply anybody in the eighth were blown up by the Condors. Neither did the Critters tack on anything countable – the ninth pitted Yeom Soung against Tijuana again, with a 2-run lead and after logging five outs on Monday. Josh Turley popped out in the #9 hole. Zuazo grounded out to Matt Triolo, who had taken over at shortstop earlier. Bensinger hit a deep fly to right – but Fernandez caught that. 3-1 Furballs! M. Fernandez 3-4, 2B; Vickers 3-4; Maldonado 2-4; Chavez 6.0 IP, 8 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB; 7 K, W (6-8) and 1-3;

Game 3
TIJ: 1B Zuazo – SS Bensinger – RF Willie Ojeda – 3B Sanks – LF J. Williams – C J. Flores – 2B R. West – CF McNaughton – P Uribe
POR: 3B Downs – LF Hooge – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – 1B Maruyama – 2B Hirai – SS Triolo – P Livingston

The Coons got Downs, Fernandez, and Fowler aboard on a walk and two singles in the bottom 1st, but only one run on Tony Morales’ sac fly. Maruyama grounded out to Rhett West to strand two. The score did reach 2-0 in the second on a surprise maiden homer for Hirai, which also bumped him over the .200 mark for the first time ever. Tijuana pulled a run back in the top of the third with McNaughton and Suazo in scoring position on a single and a double before Jason Bensinger came up with a run-scoring groundout. Livingston, who had not fared well in his first start of the season, walked Willie Ojeda to put the go-ahead run on base, but the skunk weasel grounded out poorly to end the inning and leave the Critters 2-1 ahead. Not that Livingston got any better – after a leadoff walk to Williams in the fourth, Jose Flores hit into a double play, but Livingston immediately gave up a single to Rhett West. And then he gave up a homer to David McNaughton, a colossal blast to center to a 30-year-old player with barely over one year of major league service time, who was in the Bigs for the first time since ’32 and had just gone yard for the first time since ’29.

Sometimes you just want Rico Gutierrez back…

Bottom 4th, the Japanese connection opened with a pair of singles against Uribe. Triolo jammed a grounder into a double play, Livingston struck out, and Maruyama was stranded on third base. It took until the bottom 6th for Justin Fowler to tie the game with a home run to left, and then Morales reached base with a single. Maruyama was now the evil goon to hit into the double play, after which Hirai was nicked by the pitch and Triolo somehow walked unintentionally. Pinkerton batted for Livingston, pathetically poked an 0-2 pitch to the left side, it got away from Shane Sanks, and the Coons took the lead on the shadiest RBI single in recent memory, 4-3! Downs then quickly grounded out on the next pitch lest they put up a crooked number… In terms of signs that perhaps neither team was deserving of a first place finish, Antonio Prieto walked Uribe as the tying run to begin the top 7th before Zuazo spanked a ball into a double play, 6-4-3. David Fernandez logged two outs in the eighth before allowing a single to Williams. A double switch brought on Casey Moore in the #4 hole for a 4-out save (or so we wished upon a star), while Maldonado took over for Fowler in centerfield. This wasn’t about getting Fowler off his legs for an inning – this was so that Moore wouldn’t bat in the bottom 8th unless he was the eighth man up in the inning and it didn’t matter anymore. That latter scenario didn’t occur and it was still Moore and the 4-3 lead against the bottom of the Tijuana order in the ninth inning. West lined out to Triolo. McNaughton whiffed. Donovan Bunyon, the lefty middle infielder, was in the #9 hole after a double switch. He batted .207 – and singled to center, bringing back Zuazo as the winning run. He singled to center, too, placing runners on the corners, with left-handed Josh Turley pinch-hitting for the pitcher in the #2 slot. The Coons sent Garavito – and Turley sent a pitch past Triolo for a 2-out RBI single, blowing the lead and tying the game. The next batter ended the inning, but now the Critters had to score against Heckman without the benefit of Fowler batting fourth. This didn’t turn out to be much of a problem after all – the #4 slot never came to bat in a 1-2-3 ninth, and the game went to extras. There, McNaughton hit a 2-out RBI single after Garavito had walked a pair, so now the Condors could unfurl Ray Andrews on the Critters. Rich Vickers pinch-hit to begin the bottom of the 10th, ran a 3-1 count, then grounded out to Bunyon. Morales singled with one out, Marsingill pinch-hit and singled with two out, but the Coons still needed a base hit from the .204 problem shaped like Matt Triolo. He flew out softly to Zuazo in leftfield, and that ended the game. 5-4 Condors. M. Fernandez 2-5; Fowler 3-4, HR, RBI; Morales 2-4, RBI; Hirai 2-3, HR, RBI; Marsingill (PH) 1-1; Pinkerton (PH) 1-1;

After this, the non-waiver trade deadline came and went. The Raccoons stayed put, counting on reassembling the contents of their roster for 2037, which was ample time to get everybody out of their casts and splints, and off their crutches and meds, and then make a run for it again.

Raccoons (52-48) vs. Aces (63-38) – August 1-3, 2036

The Aces led the season series, 4-2, as well as the CL South by six and a half after our series win over the Condors. They were first in runs scored, second in runs allowed, nobody had seen them build a winner anytime soon, and the pundits on the babble shows on TV were still making up **** as they went regarding their sudden appearance at the top of the CL South.

Projected matchups:
Jared Ottinger (3-2, 2.98 ERA) vs. Matt Diduch (11-2, 3.46 ERA)
Gilberto Rendon (3-7, 5.42 ERA) vs. John Jackson (6-3, 3.44 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (5-6, 3.90 ERA) vs. Drew Johnson (10-3, 2.23 ERA)

Again, these were all right-handers.

Game 1
LVA: 3B Morrow – 1B Stedham – CF M. Hall – 2B Briones – LF J. Nelson – RF Jorgensen – C Wiersma – SS O’Keefe – P Diduch
POR: SS Downs – LF Hooge – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – 3B Pinkerton – 2B Vickers – 1B Maldonado – P Ottinger

Lots of disgusting kids in the park on this Friday, screaming “Ottie! Ottie!”, but that soon enough swung into bitter tears when the Aces gave a Ottie an on-the-mound rectal exam for five runs in the first inning. Four hits and two walks led to those five runs, with perhaps Ken Wiersma’s 2-run double the most frustrating. He had already been the death of the Raccoons in the previous series, and he was still a pretty much useless player … except against the Raccoons. Three singles by Morales, Pinkerton, and Vickers scored one run for Portland in the bottom 2nd before Ottinger bunted into a force at third base, and then was dodgeballed for two more runs in the third inning. Mario Briones singled, Justin Nelson hit an RBI triple, and then scored on – what else – a Wiersma sac fly. Dusty Kulp then pitched for two outs and four runs on three hits and three walks between the fourth and fifth, with Eric Morrow hitting a 2-piece over the fence in the latter inning after a leadoff walk to Matt Diduch. David Fernandez replaced him, allowed a single to Jesse Stedham, then was taken well deep by Mike Hall.

At that point it was 13-1, I was blissfully knackered on booze and sleeping pills, and only tangentially was bothered anymore by a ballpark full of distraught pre-teens crying and screaming their lungs out. While Chris Wise allowed another two runs in the sixth and those in themselves hardly mattered, we really objected to Chris O’Keefe’s antics. The little ****stain stole third base with one out in the inning, in a game in which his team was already up by a ****ing THIRTEEN runs. Casey Moore made sure to give him a welt with a fastball when he was back up in the eighth inning… At some point Ed Hooge hit a homer, not that it sparked a rally worth exploring in detail, but at least the game had deteriorated sufficiently enough to give Preston Pinkerton his much-awaited first pitching appearance of the season in the ninth inning. He retired the Aces’ 1-2-3 batters… IN ORDER!! … 15-3 Aces. Pinkerton 2-4, RBI; Vickers 2-4, RBI;

Nothing like coming out of an off day and having the pen shot all to hell immediately. THANKS, OTTIE.

Game 2
LVA: 3B Morrow – 1B Stedham – CF M. Hall – 2B Briones – C Kuehn – LF J. Nelson – RF Jorgensen – SS O’Keefe – P J. Jackson
POR: 3B Downs – LF Hooge – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – 1B Maruyama – 2B Vickers – SS Triolo – P Rendon

After both teams hit into a double play in the first and both teams stranded the bases loaded when their pitcher struck out in the second, and Rendon kept shoveling runners on base, somehow stranding Aces on the corners in the top 3rd through a nifty play by Triolo on Paul Kuehn’s sharp grounder, the Coons did take the lead when Manny Fernandez extended his hitting streak to 18 games (tying Ed Hooge for the team’s longest of the season) with a 1-out single in the bottom 3rd that also sent Adam Downs across home plate after a leadoff double and a base gained on Hooge’s groundout. And then Fowler hit into a double play…

Rendon took over 70 messy pitches to get through four innings, so he wouldn’t be around forever, but batted and singled still up 1-0 in the bottom 5th. That came with one out, an inning after Rich Vickers had hit into the Coons’ third double play of the day, but at least Downs resisted the urge and popped out instead. Hooge singled, Fernandez walked, and Justin Fowler came up with three aboard and two outs – and flew out easily to Steve Jorgensen before smashing his bat with a single stroke on the dugout railing, sending the bench players scattering. And I felt exactly the same and was cuddling Honeypaws rather angrily!

Rendon went back out for the sixth, retired nobody and left with runners on the corners, booted for Prieto, who got Nelson on a pop before walking Jorgensen on four pitches. O’Keefe, the ***hole, hit a grounder that the Coons couldn’t turn for two and the tying run scored before Jackson struck out to strand Kuehn and O’Keefe on the corners. A gap triple by Morrow opened the seventh and of course the Aces, a team not just filled by old farts, gunk, and injury replacements that sucked even in AAA, got that run home with no problems with a grounder to short, taking a 2-1 lead. When Maldonado hit a 1-out single in the bottom 7th, Adam Downs, another ***hole in another uniform, hit into the team’s fourth double play.

Bottom 8th, Ed Hooge hit a leadoff single while it began to rain. The Aces advanced him twice on a passed ball and a wild pitch, moving the tying run all the way to third base with Manny Fernandez still at home plate and nobody out. Tying run on third, no outs – anyone? Anyone at all? Not Fernandez, who hit a grounder to the left side, keeping the runner pinned. Fowler then unexpectedly singled to actually tie the game, a mistake so grave Tony Morales had to hit into ANOTHER ****ING DOUBLE PLAY on the first pitch by Jackson he could actually reach… Now, expecting the Raccoons to get through Seth Odum and his well-under-two ERA in the bottom 9th would have been a bit took much asked, so here was the third extra-inning game of this dismal week. Odum pitched the 9th and 10th, while Soung did the 10th and 11th for Portland. Right-hander George Barnett was up against the 5-6-7 batters in the bottom 11th, and retired those in order, too. The game dragged on in on-and-off rain showers, with Barnett still pitching in the bottom 13th and the score still tied at two. Ed Hooge opened the inning with a walk, then stole second while somebody missed a sign – it was Fernandez, falling asleep on the run-and-hit call. Hooge reached second base anyway, and there was still nobody out. A single moved Hooge to third base and brought on a new pitcher in John Landrum and his 6.75 ERA. He struck out Fowler to my great dismay, and that of Maud, too, when I fired a bottle against the wall between my and her room again. It ended like all the others, in a thousand shards. Morales then grounded to short, which was MAYBE a double play, but the Aces couldn’t risk it, they had to come home – except that O’Keefe, the ***hole, was being carried away from home plate, got nothing on the throw, and Ed Hooge slid home safe to walk off the dismal dumpster divers… 3-2 Blighters. Hooge 3-5, BB; M. Fernandez 3-5, BB, RBI; Maruyama 2-5; Maldonado (PH) 1-1; Garavito 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 0 K; Soung 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

At least we now had a gassed bullpen, two days into a 20-day stretch with 21 games.

Good job, boys. Good job.

Game 3
LVA: 3B Morrow – 1B Stedham – CF M. Hall – 2B Briones – C Kuehn – LF J. Nelson – RF Jorgensen – SS O’Keefe – P D. Johnson
POR: SS Downs – 2B Vickers – LF Hooge – RF M. Fernandez – 1B Maruyama – CF Maldonado – 3B Marsingill – C Manning – P Sabre

The Coons needed a good start from Sabre, seven-plus being a good measuring stick. In another stunning coincidence, both starting pitchers would retire the first eight batters they faced before singling off each other with two outs in both halves of the third inning. Neither would come around to score in a game that remained scoreless early until Manny Fernandez again made it 1-0 with a streak-extending base hit, in this case a 2-out solo jack in the bottom 4th. The score went to 2-0 in the bottom 5th with a Marsingill single to lead off, then a Sabre bunt and a 2-out RBI single by Adam Downs. Vickers also singled, but Ed Hooge popped out to strand a pair.

Through five, Sabre allowed only the one run and actually threw fewer than nine pitches per inning while not allowing too much hard contact either; so knowing my way around this team and having watched him come unglued in the most stupid ways for a few years now there were only three ways out of this: he’d either pitch an 86-pitch shutout, or come undone for between three and five runs instantly, or would deliver a curveball and his arm would tear itself from the shoulder socket. When the ***hole O’Keefe opened the sixth with a triple to right, option B immediately became the most logical one. While Johnson popped out and Morrow whiffed, the Aces then smacked consecutive RBI doubles to tie the game before Mario Briones was retired by Maldonado in deep center on another ridiculous drive. Baseball – it’s never far from screwing you over.

Sabre got through eight innings, but panic was now our constant companion and the Aces made more sharp outs in the two innings after they tied the ballgame. The offense did absolutely nothing in their usually outrageous fashion, and Sabre returned for the ninth inning. Briones hit a leadoff single, but was doubled off by Kuehn. Nelson and Evan Martin singled and went to the corners with two outs, ultimately bringing on a reliever in Chris Wise. This was done in a double switch, inserting Justin Fowler in the #9 hole, where he would bat third in the bottom 9th. He would also do so trailing after Wise allowed an RBI single to Aiden Ackeret on the first pitch he tossed up there. PH Joe Bennett grounded out, but the damage was once more done, and there was Seth Odum for the bottom 9th, in other words – ballgame. Marsingill hit a bloop single on a 1-2 pitch to begin the inning, after which Pinkerton batted for Manning and hit into a 4-6-3 double play. Fowler singled to center, Downs singled to right, if not for Pinkerton’s ****ING double play we might have tied it BY NOW, but instead Rich Vickers was up with two outs and two on, singled through Morrow at third base, and here Fowler raced around third base and scored, tying the game at three. You know, Honeypaws, what would be funny? Extra innings! Hooge then grounded out to make it happen.

Wise pitched a scoreless 10th, then bunted Manny to second after a leadoff single, the fifth hit off Odum, who normally allowed fewer than .9 hits per inning. Maldonado was walked intentionally to set up the double play. The Coons instead sounded the “RUN!!” horn and pulled off a double steal on Kuehn and Odum. Again first base was open – and out went the arm, Kuehn showed four fingers, and here came Preston Pinkerton with three on, one out, and if he hit into another double play he’d be crucified atop the highest flag mast we had. He got off easy – dropping a blooper into right was all the Raccoons needed for another extra-inning walkoff. 4-3 Blighters. Downs 3-5, RBI; Vickers 2-5, RBI; M. Fernandez 2-5, HR, RBI; Marsingill 3-4, BB; Fowler 1-1; Sabre 8.2 IP, 8 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 1 BB, 2 K and 1-2;

In other news

July 29 – A torn back muscle puts LAP OF/1B/SS Noel Ferrero (.234, 2 HR, 27 RBI) out of order for the rest of the season.
July 29 – The Loggers trade 25-yr old OF Will Ojeda (.305, 4 HR, 42 RBI) to the Cyclones for 31-yr old C Matt Cooper (.237, 5 HR, 16 RBI). Nobody knows what the **** the Loggers are doing.
July 30 – The Blue Sox acquire 3B/SS Bob Zeltser (.255, 6 HR, 31 RBI) from the Indians for the price of MR Donovan mason (3-4, 2.63 ERA, 3 SV) and a prospect.
July 30 – The Wolves pick up Oklahoma’s left-handed MR Steve Gowan (1-0, 3.54 ERA) for a prospect.
July 31 – The Pacifics beat the Cyclones, 7-6 in 17 innings, walking off in true fashion, with a single and three walks drawn off CIN MR Daniel Miller (2-1, 9.00 ERA).

Complaints and stuff

Four extra-inning games, of which they won three by walkoff, in a week? Must be a record, but I’m literally too tired to look it up.

Despite only one homer and two runs batted in, Manny Fernandez was named CL Player of the Week, batting 12-for-28 (.429). Slow week in the office, huh?

No idea how to sort out the pitching for next week. Sabre’s slot would have been up to pitch the second game of the double header with the Loggers on Thursday, but I don’t see that happening after 98 pitches for a hard-crunched no-decision.

Quick trip to Atlanta, then back for eight home games in seven days against Milwaukee and New York. Then we’re off to the Warriors, back home to play the Blue Sox, then a road trip to Boston, Elktown, and Oklahoma. Whoever made this schedule was not a Raccoons fan…

Fun Fact: Raffaello Sabre, who turned 28 on Saturday and was signed out of Venezuela 11 years ago and made his debut six years ago, has never posted a 6 K/9 season.

This includes even partial seasons. He’s not a strikeout guy, wildly not. His career high for K in a single season is 130 in ’33. That season and this one tie for highest K/9 with 5.5… All of that may be part of the reason why he’s the “oh yeah, he too” guy when people try to name all five starting pitchers on the roster at any one time…

On the other hand he’s a groundballer with good stamina and doesn’t usually give up too many homers. With a fourth pitch he would probably be amazing, but he only has the 93mph sinker, the curve, and the changeup, and despite a 3.84 career ERA thus has a losing record for his career.
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