[Westheim]

The Yugoslavian couple next door had another new baby, as I found out on Monday morning when Svetoslav, the husband, served me with a cease and desist order – I was not to make any noise for the rest of the week or they’d sue my ****ing behind out of the building.

Since a) packing boxes with my meager belongings sounded not like much fun, and b) the Critters were in Elktown and agony was going to be involved by default, I had no choice but to shelter in the ballpark for the series, which began on Tuesday night.

Not going to Elktown was Steve Nickas, who was sent back to St. Petersburg to make room for Jimmy Wallace. Tim Stalker would follow soon-ish.

Raccoons (70-54) @ Canadiens (63-61) – August 26-28, 2036

The Coons needed wins, wins, wins, but, alas, it was Elktown. The season series was even at six, and the Elks were eighth in runs scored and were allowing the third-fewest runs in the league. Tough nut right here!

Projected matchups:
Josh Livingston (2-1, 3.71 ERA) vs. David Arias (0-1, 63.00 ERA)
Gilberto Rendon (5-7, 4.87 ERA) vs. Corey Booth (9-6, 3.09 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (5-4, 3.55 ERA) vs. Bryce Neal (12-10, 3.43 ERA)

Arias was a 25-year-old right-hander who had made his first career start against the Buffaloes last week, but it hadn’t quite gone right for him (1 IP, 7 ER). He had made 22 relief outings in ’35 for a 6.83 ERA. After that it would be one more right-hander, then a southpaw.

Game 1
POR: 3B Downs – LF Hooge – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Wallace – C Morales – 2B Vickers – SS Triolo – P Livingston
VAN: 2B D.J. Robinson – C Clemente – CF Outram – RF Phillips – 1B J. Lopez – SS Cabral – LF LeJeune – 3B Schneider – P Arias

Back-to-back doubles by Hooge and Fernandez put the Critters up 1-0 in the first, but then along came Livingston and had his rectum semi-surgically opened by the damn Elks. D.J. Robinson and Timóteo Clemente opened the game with singles, and Ryan Phillips tied the game with another single. Livingston walked Johnny Lopez to fill the bases, they took the lead on a wild pitch (reaches for chest region), Ramon Cabral hit an RBI double, and the inning continued with an RBI groundout by Jesse LeJeune and Brian Schneider’s RBI single, creating a 5-1 hole the Critters weren’t gonna climb out of, and making me confident, as I howled with Honeypaws in my arms on the trusty brown couch in the office, that I had made the right decision to not stay at home… The inning ended with Arias, but the Elks continued where they had left off in the second inning, whacking Livingston around for another three hits, two walks, and three runs, two on LeJeune’s 2-out, 2-run double, before the Critters yanked their starter and sent Dusty Kulp. Brian Schneider hit an RBI single, 9-1, and then the inning ended again with Arias… That was about all that mattered in the game. Manny Fernandez’ solo homer in the fifth failed to spark a 9-run rally, and almost spotless relief went entirely to waste as the Raccoons were out of the game about 30 minutes into it. 9-2 Canadiens. M. Fernandez 2-3, BB, HR, 2B, 2 RBI; Kulp 3.1 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 2 K;

The Raccoons responded with another roster move, dumping Josh Livingston’s despicable bum and adding John Hennessy as tack-on reliever. We’d have to come up with another starter by Sunday, though…

Game 2
POR: 3B Downs – LF Hooge – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Wallace – C Morales – 2B Vickers – SS Triolo – P Rendon
VAN: 2B D.J. Robinson – C Clemente – CF Outram – RF Phillips – 1B J. Lopez – SS Cabral – LF LeJeune – 3B Stephenson – P Booth

Downs, Fernandez, Wallace, and Morales all hit singles in the first inning, with the latter two each dropping a 2-out RBI single for a 2-0 lead for Rendon, who – maybe! – would find it in his heart to not blow the ****ing thing immediately! Jerry Outram walked in the bottom 1st, but then was caught stealing. The peace didn’t last, though, because why would it? This was Elktown! This was where misery lived. And thrived. Misery gave the damn Elks singles from the 7-8-9 batters to lead off the bottom 3rd, one run on the spot and another one on Clemente’s sac fly thereafter, tying the game at two.

Tony Morales (walk) and Rich Vickers (single) were on base to begin the top 4th, but then Matt Triolo hit into a double play and Rendon struck out; no bottom-of-the-order magic for Portland! Instead the Elks took the lead when Cabral reached on a Wallace error and LeJeune socked an RBI double in the bottom of the inning… The Coons left them on the corners the following inning, with Hooge and Fowler setting up camp there with two down, but Jimmy Wallace grounded out.

The seventh inning broke with Jesus Maldonado hitting for Rendon and reaching base as the tying run, singling to center. Outram overran the ball, Maldonado scooted to second base, and the Coons HAD to pounce on this chance! A dog’s dinner of an inning saw Adam Downs and Ed Hooge ground out to third base, not even advancing the runner, before Booth lost the zone against Fernandez and Fowler, walking the bags full. That brought back Wallace, who *did* have half the Coons’ RBIs in the game. Nothing changed with that – he grounded out to Robinson. Top 8th, Tony Morales led off with a single off J.J. Ringland, who was immediately supplanted by right-hander Erik David, who got a K on Vickers and grounders from Triolo and Maldonado to end the inning. John Hennessy kept the Elks away in the bottom 8th, so the Coons brought the top of the order to the plate against Rafael Urbano, still only down by one in the ninth inning. Downs grounded out, but Hooge singled to left. Fernandez hit into a force to Robinson, and Fowler grounded out to short to end it all. 3-2 Canadiens. Morales 2-3, BB, RBI; Maldonado (PH) 1-2;

Oh boy!

Game 3
POR: SS Downs – 2B Vickers – CF Fowler – LF M. Fernandez – 1B Maruyama – RF Pinkerton – C Wall – 3B Marsingill – P Ottinger
VAN: 2B D.J. Robinson – C Clemente – CF Outram – 1B J. Lopez – SS Cabral – LF LeJeune – RF Korecky – 3B Stephenson – P Neal

Ottie gave himself the lead, singling home Preston Pinkerton with two outs in the top 2nd for the first marker on the scoreboard. Marsingill was also on base, having drawn a walk, but Adam Downs’ gapper came down inside LeJeune’s glove to end the inning. Bryce Neal struck out four in a row and six in total by the fourth inning, but then the bottom of the order started to coagulate on the base paths again. Kurt Wall walked with two outs, Marsingill singled and sent him to third base, and here came Ottie once again. He fell to 2-2, then hit a looper over Johnny Lopez that made it a considerable way up the line before Will Korecky interfered with it. Wall scored, 2-0, Marsingill reached third base, and Ottinger had his second RBI single of the game. Then Downs grounded out poorly to Josh Stephenson… Then, with one down in the bottom 4th, the Elks had the bases loaded without the benefit of even a base hit in the inning. Cabral and Korecky walked, and LeJeune had been nailed in between. One out, Stephenson lined out to Pinkerton, shooing the runners back, and then Neal popped out, stranding all three …!

Top 5th, more offense – Rich Vickers hit a leadoff single to right, and Justin Fowler did him quite a bit better, hitting his 25th homer to rightfield, doubling the tally to 4-0. And the Elks? Had the bases loaded AGAIN with one out in the same inning. Clemente and Outram reached on bloop singles, Lopez walked, and it was all horrible… Ottinger walked in a run against Cabral, LeJeune hit a sac fly, and Downs just barely reached Korecky’s grounder and made a play on it to end the damn inning, the Coons still up 4-2. At least on offense, Ottie remained a force – he hit ANOTHER 2-out single in the sixth inning, this time with nobody on base, and then jogged home on Adam Downs’ long shot to left, which upped the score to 6-2. On the mound, Ottie got only one more out before he walked Stephenson, and that was well enough sabotage to the team’s success for a day. Hennessy worked out of the inning. David Galmore gave up a run prinicipally on Manny Fernandez’ quick legs in the seventh. Manny hit a soft single, stole second, and scooted around on a Pinkerton single, 7-2. That was the last gasp for the Coons’ offense in the game, while the Elks continued to be flummoxed if not cordially invited with free passes. Hennessy, Moore, and David Fernandez completed the required nine innings for Portland without giving up another run. 7-2 Coons! Marsingill 3-4; Hooge (PH) 1-1; D. Fernandez 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

Now the good news – the Titans had been swept by the Loggers. (The Loggers!) Despite the shambles performance in Vancouver, the Raccoons had narrowed the gap to one game, and now had a weekend’s worth of games against the worst team in the league. The Titans would be in Charlotte.

John Hennessy, who had pitched fine, but who was not what we needed right here and now, was returned to AAA after the series. Right-hander Tom Miller, #62, he of two scoreless relief outings this season, would join the team and take the Sunday start in Oklahoma.

Raccoons (71-56) @ Thunder (46-81) – August 29-31, 2036

There were no redeeming comments to be made about the Thunder, who were in the bottom three (and firmly!) in both runs scored and runs allowed. They were quick on the bases, but they never got on the bases, so maybe we’d be fine after all. There was only the slightest discomfort over how we were only 3-3 against them on the year.

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (7-6, 3.50 ERA) vs. Joe Robinson (12-7, 4.05 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (10-9, 3.15 ERA) vs. Gary Martin (1-15, 6.08 ERA)
Tom Miller (0-0, 0.00 ERA) vs. Tony Gallardo (5-11, 4.43 ERA)

Lorenzo Celaya was a key miss on the DL for Oklahoma, but, eh, who didn’t have a pile of broken players? For the starters, it would go lefty, righty, lefty. Martin’s only win this year? Against a team playing in a city starting with P!

Pittsburgh.

Game 1
POR: SS Downs – 2B Vickers – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Wallace – RF Pinkerton – C Wall – 3B Marsingill – P Sabre
OCT: LF Muich – SS Santillan – 2B C. Miller – 1B D. Cruz – CF DeLoach – C Kilmer – 3B J. Rivera – RF Heskett – P J. Robinson

Five Sabre pitches into the game, the Thunder had the bags full and I was ready to throw myself into the nearest hole in the countryside. Bobby Muich singled, Jose Santillan reached on a Marsingill error, and Chris Miller again singled. Nice defensive plays by Fowler and Fernandez held Danny Cruz to a sac fly and Elvis DeLoach to nothing, respectively, and that was the only run Oklahoma got in the inning. The tying run scored the following half-inning on a Jimmy Wallace triple and a balk – whatever works, boys! Whatever works! – and the third inning began with Downs and Vickers on the corners and no outs. Manny Fernandez hit a gapper near DeLoach, who was not a very qualified centerfielder to begin with, and the Coons took a 2-1 lead on the double. With first base open, the Thunder pitched to Fowler, who flew out to center, but deep enough to score a run at least, and Wallace also hit a sac fly, 4-1.

While Sabre was not exactly sturdy, but didn’t explode immediately with a lead, the Coons tacked on in the fourth, but in unearned fashion. Marsingill was drilled with one but, bunted over, and then Downs reached on a Chris Miller error. Vickers hit a dinker behind the second baseman for an RBI single, but Manny grounded out to first.

Sabre whiffed six through five innings, but then allowed singles to Miller and Danny Cruz to begin the bottom 6th. DeLoach fell to 1-2, then hit a sharp grounder – but Downs made a great play, reached, spun, and tossed to Vickers, who eluded Cruz’s spikes to complete a 6-4-3 double play. Jeff Kilmer popped out foul, and Sabre had made it through another inning…! He got however only one more out before a tweaking calf ended his inning in the bottom 7th. Kulp finished the inning even without blowing a 5-1 lead. The following inning Miller singled off Kulp, Cruz singled off Garavito, and the Coons sent Chris Wise to deal with Kilmer with two outs. He entered with Maldonado in a double switch, Wallace being booted from first base. Kilmer grounded out to Marsingill, ending the inning. The double switch would allow Wise to pitch a 4-out save, since the #9 spot was up in the ninth inning. He didn’t disappoint, retiring the Thunder in order in the bottom of the inning. 5-1 Raccoons. Vickers 2-4, RBI; Pinkerton 1-2, 2 BB; Sabre 6.1 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 0 BB, 6 K, W (8-6);

Sabre had a mild calf strain and was expected to make his next start, but talk about injury scares…

The Titans kept dropping games even in Charlotte – their loss on Friday tied the division up, with both them and us at 72-56. The Elks were six games behind.

Game 2
POR: SS Downs – LF Hooge – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Wallace – C Morales – 2B Vickers – 3B Marsingill – P Chavez
OCT: LF Muich – SS Santillan – 2B C. Miller – 1B D. Cruz – C Kilmer – CF Olszewski – 3B A. Rojas – RF Heskett – P G. Martin

Downs doubled, Fernandez went deep, and the Coons had a 2-0 lead rather quick against the 1-15 pitcher. Fowler also doubled, but was stranded, and unfortunately this was going to be a so-so day for Bernie Chavez, with the ball jumping off bats against him. Drew Olszewski hit a long double in the second, but was left on base, and Chris Miller hit a solo jack to cut the lead in half in the third. The Coons had quite a few hits, but couldn’t get anybody across, with Ed Hooge thrown out at home to end the third inning, trying to score from second base on a Wallace single. A Danny Cruz homer tied the game in the bottom 6th, and base hits by Kilmer and Alfredo Rojas even gave the Thunder the lead in the same inning, 3-2, with that 1-15 pitcher now in line for the win. He would also not get the loss, with DeLoach hitting for him, but striking out, to end the sixth.

Maldonado hit for Bernie Chavez to begin the top 7th, grounded to first, but the Gold Glover Cruz fudged the ball and Maldonado was safe. Chris Guyett walked Adam Downs to move the tying run to second base. Hooge hit into a double play, Fernandez grounded out, and everything remained absolutely horrendous. The Thunder got an insurance run when Miller singled off Prieto in the bottom 7th, who with two outs walked the bags full. David Fernandez came in to face Olszewski, but the Thunder sent Jonathan Rivera to pinch-hit, and the righty batter drew a bases-loaded walk. Rojas flew out to center, stranding three, but this one was slowly sailing out of reach. Tony Morales would kill the eighth with a double play, and the ninth only saw straight outs from Vickers, Wall, and Maruyama… 4-2 Thunder. M. Fernandez 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Wallace 2-3, BB;

Yeah, they… they did that.

Gary Martin? 2-15 now!

(yells at random players) ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR ****ING MINDS???

Game 3
POR: SS Downs – 2B Vickers – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Maldonado – RF Pinkerton – C Wall – 3B Marsingill – P T. Miller
OCT: LF Muich – SS Santillan – 2B C. Miller – 1B D. Cruz – CF DeLoach – C Kilmer – 3B J. Rivera – RF Heskett – P Gallardo

Once more the Coons scored first, Maldonado singling home Downs with two gone in the opening half-inning. Downs had drawn a walk to open the contest, with Fernandez hitting an infield single in between. Miller started the game rather well, retiring the first eight in order (and only Cruz made a loud noise) before Gallardo hit a single to left. Bobby Muich grounded out to leave him stranded. The Coons got a run in the fourth, 2-0 on Kurt Wall’s RBI double that chased home Preston Pinkerton. The Thunder would then accumulate on base in the bottom of the inning. Santillan singled, DeLoach walked… with two outs Kilmer hit a foul pop behind home plate Kurt Wall dropped, which was surely going to come back to bite. Kilmer indeed would end up singling to load the bags for Jonathan Rivera, who however popped out to Vickers, and Rich even contained the damn ball to strand three… The following inning began with a Brian Heskett single to right. The runner was bunted over, and then Muich singled, putting the runners on the corners. Santillan struck out, meaning that all could still theoretically end well, but Chris Miller poked Tom Miller’s 0-2 up the middle for an RBI single. Only Cruz grounded out to Vickers, keeping the score at 2-1.

Fowler and Maldonado opened the sixth with singles, but some schmuck would always hit into a double play, wouldn’t they? Pinkerton was the sixth inning’s schmuck, and Wall made a poor third out, too. Marsingill opened the seventh with a double, Miller batted for himself and grounded to the mound, but Gallardo fumbled the ball for an error, and the runners were back on the corners with nobody out. Maybe THIS TIME?? Hum, boys?? HOW ABOUT IT?? Downs’ sac fly was all the Coons got. Vickers flew out to right, Fernandez singled, but Fowler also leisurely flew out to DeLoach, and that was the inning. Miller proceeded in the bottom 7th with a leadoff walk to Antonio Felicame, who stole second and came around on Santillan’s 1-out single, but … at least Garavito shut the Thunder down before Miller or Cruz could do REAL damage.

On to the eighth, and Maldonado opened with a walk against right-hander Marcos Ochoa. Pinkerton walked in a full count, and how often had we seen that on the weekend, two on, less than two outs, and then – agony. Kurt Wall was up, also ran a full count, then actually kept the ****ing ball away from the shortstop and hit a gapper in left-center for an RBI double, 4-2! Jimmy Wallace batted for Marsingill and hit a sac fly, and Tony Morales hit for Garavito and was walked intentionally because the Thunder KNEW there was another double play somewhere in that Critters lineup! Instead, Downs whiffed and Vickers grounded out, which also ended the inning. Maldonado then hit into the missing double play in the ninth after Fernandez and Fowler had reached base, and nobody scored. At least Casey Moore and Yeom Soung kept the Thunder decent in the last few innings… 5-2 Critters. M. Fernandez 3-5; Maldonado 2-4, BB, RBI; Wall 2-4, 2 2B, 2 RBI; Marsingill 1-2, BB, 2B;

In other news

August 25 – From the leadoff spot, PIT OF Ozzie Burgos (.328, 9 HR, 45 RBI) drives in five runs in a 14-5 Miners win over the Capitals.
August 26 – The Wolves rout the Pacifics, 12-4, with half their runs driven in by INF Mike Cole (.297, 4 HR, 31 RBI), who has four hits, including a double.
August 28 – CHA RF/CF Jerry Aguilar (.258, 4 HR, 43 RBI) is probably out for the season with a strained hammy.
August 29 – The Canadiens’ OF Ryan Phillips (.296, 17 HR, 69 RBI) drives in six runs on a homer and two singles in the Canadiens’ 15-3 rush of the Knights.
August 30 – This year’s #1 draft pick, who went straight to the majors, TOP swiss army knife Felix Marquez (.261, 4 HR, 22 RBI) is out for the season with a torn labrum.

Complaints and stuff

The Titans lost every single ****ing game this week, allowing the Raccoons to glitch past them even with a completely morose 3-3 performance. Boston has lost 11 of their last 13; with their only two wins coming against … well, yes, the Coons of course. The Titans finished the month 10-18 with 77 runs from 28 games (2.75 R/G).

The Critters went 21-9 in August, scoring 77 runs by the 15th and 140 runs in total (4.66 R/G)!

Rosters will expand on Monday, which will also be the return of Tim Stalker. The Coons finish their road trip at the Bay, then will come home to play the Loggers and Indians. The crucial games against the Elks and Titans that we have left on the schedule won’t come up until late; the damn Elks are in from the 26th through 28th, and then we’re straight off to Boston for the final four games in that season series.

Manny Fernandez was the CL Hitter of the Month! Manny went .386 with 6 HR and 20 RBI. He scored 27 runs. Manny is third in batter WAR and second in the batting race in the Federal League. Now, Lorenzo Celaya has 471 PA for the season and remains on the DL for at least another few weeks. He may or may not reach 502 PA, but even then the gap is still 24 points, and Manny will have to pick it up considerably if he wants to catch up. And even if he doesn’t win the batting title – he’s surely not the worst #5 pick we ever made.

Fun Fact: The Raccoons played against Gary Martin (2-15, 5.94 ERA) three times this year, and never beat him. He’s 1-0 with a 3.94 ERA against them.

Yeah, they… they did that.