[Westheim]

Raccoons (42-62) @ Condors (43-62) – July 29-31, 2052

A real mud series at the really wrong time. Both teams were still trying to unload players for prospects during what was the last set of games before the non-waiver trade deadline. Both were also in last place, with the Coons up 4-2 over the course of the season. The Condors were bottoms in runs scored and eighth in runs allowed, with a -101 run differential. The Raccoons, on the other paw, were already guaranteed to win a paltry single-digit amount of games in July, even with a sweep.

Projected matchups:
Rafael de la Cruz (7-5, 2.84 ERA) vs. Tony Llorens (7-7, 3.43 ERA)
Seisaku Taki (11-6, 2.43 ERA) vs. Hyuma Hitomi (4-8, 4.46 ERA)
TBD vs. Jayden Woods (2-4, 5.30 ERA)

Llorens was the only left-hander available. Notable DL occupants for Tijuana included Dustin Ransford and reliever Jake Hill.

The Wednesday start would have been Wheats’, but he was suspended. There was at this point no plan in place to replace him in any way.

Game 1
POR: 3B Sivertson – SS Lavorano – 2B Waters – LF Crum – RF Glodowski – CF Perez – C Brewer – 1B Maldonado – P de la Cruz
TIJ: 2B C. Navarro – RF G. Cabrera – C Mittleider – LF T. Duncan – 1B E. Rodriguez – CF Blackburn – 3B Whitehurst – SS Chapa – P Llorens

At this point, every absence from the lineup potentially meant that somebody was in a trade offer being floated. So was Pucks sitting because of the left-hander or …..?

In both of the first two innings, the Coons put a pair of runners on with base hits and nobody out, and stranded them, the 3-4-5 and 9-1-2 hitters being guilty here. Perez hit a homer to open the top 2nd, but then Brewer and Maldo were left on again, and Brewer would be stranded on third base for a second time in the fourth inning, which sounded horrible, and was. At least Raffy somehow retired the Condors in order the first time through and on only 25 pitches, leading me to think we had an impostor on our paws. Just before I could get excited, he then ran a full count on Chris Navarro to begin the fourth, actually walked Gil Cabrera, threw a wild pitch, and somehow eluded actual punishment in-game with weak outs from Jon Mittleider and Tim Duncan.

Portland tacked on two in the fifth inning, 3-0, despite Lonzo getting caught stealing after a leadoff single. Waters doubled, Crum walked, and Glodowski doubled home Waters. The bases would then fill up for Maldo to hit a 2-out RBI single over Navarro’s glove. Raffy struck out, stranding a full set of runners, then smushed Brian Blackburn’s hand in the bottom 5th, gave up a double to Nathan Whitehurst, and walked Luis Chapa to fill the bags with one gone. He struck out the opposing pitcher, Llorens, then went down in flames as Navarro roped a double and Cabrera chipped a single, both driving in a pair of runs to flip the score to 4-3 Condors. The inning only ended when Cabrera was caught stealing. At that point the Coons out-hit the Condors, 9-3.

The Raccoons got another hit in the sixth inning, then gave up. Raffy pitched seven, followed by Paul Crisler, who came in and gave up a single to Mittleider and a homer to Tim Duncan, then was left to see for himself how he’d get out of that pile of horse manure. He did so by putting another four Condors on base, surrendering two more runs. Then the Coons scored a meaningless run on Ramon Montes de Oca in the ninth inning, and even that they did in the worst way. Lonzo got on, and Pucks doubled in Waters’ place. Ken Crum singled to left, scoring Lonzo, but when Pucks went for home, he was thrown out at the plate. Glodowski’s useless pelt procured the final out. 8-4 Condors. Sivertson 2-5; Lavorano 2-5; Puckeridge (PH) 1-1, 2B; Brewer 2-3; Maldonado 2-4, 2B, RBI;

We still ended up out-hitting them, 13-10.

The Condors then ended up with no starter on Saturday, trading Hyuma Hitomi (4-8, 4.46 ERA) to the damn Elks for two prospects including #111 Miguel Batista (who the Coons had traded to San Fran in the cursed Sean Suggs trade the previous June).

Speaking of which…

Interlude: Trade

The Coons wrapped up C Sean Suggs (.281, 10 HR, 49 RBI) and single-A outfielder Danny Guzman, who was six weeks from turning 22, to the Thunder for AAA 1B Harry Ramsay.

Ramsay, 24, was Canadian, but we’re tolerant people here. He also already had 36 big league appearances between this year and last, batting .282 with 3 HR, 12 RBI. Very much a first baseman: power, no speed, but the defense we’d grade as serviceable. He’d be in AAA for now, because of the too many OF/1B types problem, unless one of three things happened: we’d trade an OF/1B type by tomorrow evening, Maldo keeled over with an old man injury, or the calendar hit September 1.

The Coons needed a catcher, not Tyler Philipps, who was in a deep slump in AAA, and thus room on the 40-man roster. Outfielder Eddy Veloz, out for the year from AAA with a partially torn labrum, was moved to the big-league roster, then the 60-day DL to make room. Then Jeff Raczka was called up from AAA to make for a breathtaking backstop platoon.

Raccoons (42-62) @ Condors (43-62) – July 29-31, 2052

Game 2
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – LF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – CF Perez – 3B Crispin – RF Maldonado – C Raczka – P Taki
TIJ: 2B C. Navarro – RF G. Cabrera – C Mittleider – LF T. Duncan – 1B E. Rodriguez – CF Hildebrand – 3B Lamotta – SS Barrento – P Erwin

Swingman Aaron Erwin (3-5, 4.36 ERA) gave up a leadoff single to Waters, then a triple to Lonzo. Pucks’ sac fly made it 2-0. Lonzo and Pucks were on again in the third inning, then followed by Ken Crum’s RBI single that extended the score to 3-0. Chris Navarro meanwhile had the Condors’ first two hits; a single in the first when he was doubled up by Cabrera right away, and then a double in the third inning. That time Cabrera singled him home, 3-1. The top of the order would remain problematic, even when the rest of the lineup offered by the home team didn’t challenge Taki in the slightest. But in the bottom of the sixth, Cabrera walked, and was doubled home by Jon Mittleider. Since the Coons had apparently already gone to bed, stranding Mittleider also meant stranding the tying run in that inning.

Top 8th, the Coons loaded the bases after an hour of NOTHING. Waters singled, Pucks walked, both stole a pair of bases, and then Crum was walked intentionally to arrive at the section of the Raccoons’ lineup that was usually getting most of the blame. Same this time, except that Fernando Perez coaxed a third walk (second intentional) in the inning from Pedro de Leon to push Waters home with an insurance run. Johns and Hitchcock in the last two innings did not allow a Condor on base, though, and that won the Coons a season series(!)… 4-2 Critters. Waters 2-5; Lavorano 2-4, 3B, RBI; Puckeridge 0-1, 2 BB, RBI; Crum 2-3, BB, RBI; Taki 7.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, W (12-6);

And… no more trades. Wheats and Waters would remain Critters for the rest of the season at least.

Steve Richardson (0-0, 13.50 ERA) was on waivers by Wednesday, though, since we needed a roster spot for 22-year-old left-hander Josh Mayo to make a spot start. Mayo threw 98 with a decent assortment of pitches, but struggled with control (don’t they all…?). He had been taken at #34 in the 2049 draft. He’d also wear #34 for his 2052 debut.

Game 3
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – LF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – CF Perez – 3B Crispin – RF Maldonado – C Brewer – P Mayo
TIJ: 2B C. Navarro – CF Hildebrand – C Mittleider – LF T. Duncan – RF G. Cabrera – 3B Whitehurst – 1B Barrento – SS Chapa – P J. Woods

Was it a great debut? No. Far from it. Aaron Brewer’s homer in the third inning gave his battery mate a 1-0 lead in the third inning (and was one of two hits the shady Portland lineup produced through six innings), but Mayo folded right after that. Luis Chapa hit a leadoff single in the bottom 3rd and scored the tying run on a wild pitch with two outs, and in the fourth inning, Mayo retired none of the first four batters, who just kept hitting and walking away, and all four of them scored through his various misfortunes. Nailing the leadoff man Whitehurst and giving up a triple to Carmem Barrento right after that sure enough led to another two runs in the sixth inning. The beating was so bad that when Matt Waters homered with Brewer and Suzuki somehow on base in the eighth inning, and for his 20th bomb of the year, it was merely good enough to cut the deficit in half.

Then Pucks singled. Crum singled, and so did Perez, scoring Puckeridge. Crispin popped out, but Maldo found a 2-out RBI single. And the Condors found the key to their pen and replaced the withering Woods with Juan Juarez, who rung up Brewer to end the inning with the tying run on second base. Ryan Harmer held that line, while Sivertson batted for him to begin the ninth inning against lefty George Youngblood, whom the Coons had overturned before in this season. Sivertson grounded to third base, where Ricky Lamotta fudged the play, putting the tying run on first. Waters grounded out, moving him to second. Lonzo grounded out, moving him to third. Pucks grounded… past Navarro to tie the score after all at seven. Crum grounded out to strand him, and Crisler was hit by another bus in the bottom 9th, or in this case a walkoff homer by Jon Mittleider. 8-7 Condors. Puckeridge 2-5, RBI; Crum 2-5; Perez 2-4, RBI; Brewer 2-4, HR, RBI;

His performance netted Mayo a swift return trip to St. Petersburg, with no immediate prospect for return. Walk-happy left-hander Eric Reese got his turn to deliver a few ****** innings out of the pen now.

Raccoons (43-64) vs. Loggers (48-61) – August 1-4, 2052

After failing against the worst offense, the Coons would have a go at the worst pitching in the league, especially the bullpen; the rotation was half-decent, so we’d probably ever see that 5.55 ERA bullpen. The Loggers were trying to rally out of a 5-2 hole in the season series.

Projected matchups:
Phil Baker (0-1, 6.00 ERA) vs. Dave Serio (4-12, 4.82 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (2-4, 3.77 ERA) vs. Angelo Munoz (12-5, 2.68 ERA)
Cameron Argenziano (0-3, 3.66 ERA) vs. Noah Hollis (9-9, 3.83 ERA)
Rafael de la Cruz (7-6, 2.96 ERA) vs. Noel Groh (2-12, 4.54 ERA)

Nothing but right-handers here. Game #2 of this series was the earliest Wheats was going to be allowed to throw at people again.

Game 1
MIL: LF Sayre – CF Steinbacher – 1B Callaia – SS Z. Suggs – 3B K. Leon – RF C. Lowe – C J. Jimenez – 2B R. Lopez – P Serio
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF Perez – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – C Raczka – P Baker

Zach Suggs homered to left in the first inning, his 28th bomb of the year, and chasing home Craig Sayre, all of which sugged, but the Coons opened their poking with three straight singles to load the bases in the bottom 1st. Ken Crum unloaded to right-center at once to flip the score. GRAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAMMMM.

The inning continued. Perez singled, Crispin walked, and after two weak outs, Baker doubled home two runs, and then scored on a Waters single as the Coons more than batted through the order and dumped seven runs on Dave Serio. He’d give up nine runs in total with a 2-out, 2-run double to right by Mikio Suzuki that plated Perez and Crispin in the second inning, then was gone. Not that Baker pitched any better with a 7-run lead – he was taken deep for two by Gaudencio Callaia in the third inning, but the Coons answered with three more runs against John Morrill and Kyle McRay in the bottom of the fourth. A Perez double and Crispin RBI single to begin the inning, and a 2-run single by Waters after the Loggers had fooled the bags full with one out put the Critters at a dozen runs.

The first three Loggers, including the pitcher McRay, reached base against Baker in the fifth inning. Phil Steinbacher singled home McRay, and Sayre scored on Callaia’s sac fly, 12-6. Baker barely got through five, walking Suggs on the way through, but then had a 1-2-3 sixth inning. Sayre ended his day with a leadoff single in the seventh. Jim Larson would concede that run on a 2-out RBI single over Lonzo’s head, struck by Suggs, which sugged. Ex-Coon Juan Jimenez then took Larson deep the inning after, which wasn’t any better. Bottom 8th, the Coons had three on and two outs, assisted by a Ricky Lopez error, against righty Nicholas Pollock. Maldo batted for Larson and singled home a run to center. Waters took a bases-loaded walk, Lonzo grounded to third, and while Kenny Leon got Maldo with a force play on his own base, Raczka scored. Pucks flew out, but Crum snuck a single through the left side for another run. Sivertson batted for Perez against Ryan Clements and singled home Lonzo, but the 5-run inning ended with Crispin grounding out to short. It was the second time the Coons went through the order and small change in the game. Not that the Loggers were done scoring, either. Steinbacher and Suggs singled off Harmer, which sugged, AND harmed my feelings. Kenny Leon sent a 2-out grounder to Crispin for the final out of the game, if his throw to first was crisp, but it was not, Crum had to scurry after it, and the Loggers scored another crummy run. Chris Lowe popped up in foul ground, Crispin went after that, dropped it, and Lowe got another chance, but then grounded out to Waters. 17-9 Raccoons. Waters 4-6, BB, 2B, 4 RBI; Lavorano 2-6, RBI; Crum 2-5, HR, BB, 5 RBI; Sivertson (PH) 1-1, RBI; Crispin 3-5, RBI; Suzuki 2-3, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Maldonado (PH) 1-1, RBI;

(breathes out)

Game 2
MIL: LF Sayre – CF Steinbacher – 1B Callaia – SS Z. Suggs – C C. Thomas – 3B K. Leon – RF de Lemos – 2B R. Lopez – P Munoz
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF Perez – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – C Brewer – P Wheatley

Winless Wheatley wouldn’t win once more. The Raccoons having absolutely nothing memorable on the board through five innings didn’t exactly help, so getting taken deep by Ricky Lopez in the third inning didn’t exactly help his cause, but he was then also further exploded in the fifth inning, when Lopez opened with a single, and the Loggers plucked three 2-out runs out of Wheatley’s pelt, and again in the sixth, where Kenny Leon and Lopez drew walks and were singled home by Craig Sayre with two outs. That made for six runs in total, and just as many bits of salami soaked in rat poison drifting in my Capt’n Coma.

And that was very much the game. Lillis would give up a run to Chris Thomas’ 2-out RBI double in the ninth inning. Somewhere in between Aaron Brewer had singled home a run, but I didn’t even remember who actually scored. Maybe I imagined it. Maybe it was all a dream. 7-1 Loggers. Raczka (PH) 1-1, 2B; Perez 2-4, 2 2B; Suzuki 2-4;

Not an imagination were the two injuries the Raccoons suffered when almost nobody was watching anymore. Fernando Perez strained an oblique on his second double of the day and went to the DL, probably missing four weeks. Mitch Sivertson was batting in the #9 hole in the ninth inning, but was struck in the shoulder by David Fox. He was day-to-day with limited range of motion, and thus mostly useless. Not sure where the difference to any other day was then.

With Perez to the DL, righty-hitting OF/1B Adam Samples was called up from AAA. He had hit .190 in 46 games for the 2050 Coons, enough to not having been considered for anything beyond basic food and very basic shelter since. Back then, Samples had worn #47, which was now Raffy’s number. Samples was assigned #29, which should not be understood as anything like lower number = higher esteem.

Game 3
MIL: 3B K. Leon – 2B R. Lopez – SS Z. Suggs – 1B Yamamoto – LF C. Lowe – CF de Lemos – RF Sayre – C J. Jimenez – P Hollis
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – LF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – C Brewer – RF Maldonado – P Argenziano

Both win- and feckless Argenziano came apart as soon as the second inning, when Dave de Lemos, Craig Sayre, and Juan Jimenez roped 1-out drives off him for three straight hits, a double framed by two singles, and two runs. He walked the bags full with two outs, then somehow got Maldonado to catch up with a drive by Zach Suggs to end the inning. Shuta Yamamoto (single), de Lemos (walk), and Sayre (single) then loaded the bags with one out in the third inning, but lead-footed Jimenez did what lead-footed Jimenezes do and found Lonzo for a 6-4-3 double play and ticket out of the inning. Those three frames took Argenziano a ******* 69 pitches. He got another double play, then started by Ed Crispin, turned in the fourth after giving a sharp leadoff single to the opposing pitcher. In between Waters had hit a solo homer to cut the gap in half, but the Loggers got the 2-run lead back on sharp hits by Yamamoto (grumble grumble) and de Lemos in the fifth inning, which was also Argenziano’s final.

Crisler and Larson went through the motions in the next two innings, and I wasn’t expecting much, but the Raccoons caused a bit of a stir in the bottom 7th. Crispin hit a leadoff single, but was still on base with two outs and Maldo batting. Maldo had whacked one good before in the game, but Sayre had made a catch on him. This time, Maldo whacked the ball into the gap though and came through for an RBI double. Rich Seymour then batted for Larson, because that was the state of the Coons bench now, but flew out easily to de Lemos to strand the tying run in scoring position, but a revolving door of Loggers relievers then actually managed to blow the 3-2 lead in the eighth inning with straight singles by the 2-3-4 batters off three different pen fumblers, the tying run scoring on Crum’s single to left off Chris Kaye. Fortunately, Ed Crispin was then right up to the task and jammed into a double play to kill the inning, lest we actually take the ******* lead here. (throws empty bottle of Capt’n Coma against the wall, where it shatters)

Hitchcock held the tie in the top of the ninth against the top of the order then, giving the Coons a chance to walk off against righty Willie Gonzales, who began his assignment by nailing Mikio Suzuki. The winning run got as far as third base when Aaron Brewer singled to center, and went for home when Maldo flew out to de Lemos. But de Lemos’ throw to home was perfect, Suzuki was struck down by Jimenez, and the game continued. Jeff Raczka batted for Hitchcock (shrugs emphatically), singled to center, but Brewer held at third base for reasons beyond me entirely. Waters then flopped out to Phil Steinbacher, sending the game to extras. Squee! Yamamoto then took deep Justin Johns right away to start the tenth, the Coons never reached base, and another L was successfully logged. 4-3 Loggers. Puckeridge 2-5; Raczka (PH) 1-1;

Slappy, you’ll have to call your friend. Capt’n Coma doesn’t numb me no more. I need some One-Eyed Jack’s.

Game 4
MIL: LF Sayre – RF C. Lowe – 1B Callaia – SS Z. Suggs – C C. Thomas – 3B K. Leon – CF de Lemos – 2B Barrington – P Groh
POR: SS Waters – CF Suzuki – LF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – RF Glodowski – 3B Crispin – C Brewer – 2B Seymour – P de la Cruz

Waters singled and Suzuki tripled in the bottom of the first, but Waters was also caught stealing ahead of the Suzuki triple, and Pucks and Crum made useless outs, and nobody ******* scored. Except for when Gaudencio Callaia singled home Sayre in the third inning of course. Those two hits in that inning, both singles, were all but one Raffy surrendered through five innings, although he still managed to get his pitch count up with the odd full count here and there. The Raccoons looked beat until Ed Crispin unpacked a surprise homer in the bottom 5th to tie the score at one, only for Callaia, Suggs, Leon, and de Lemos to all line base hits off Raffy in the sixth inning, and scoring three runs, which very much broke the tie again.

Lillis followed de la Cruz when the latter gave up a leadoff single to Groh in the seventh inning, and while he stranded that run, nobody was there to do the same for him when Chris Thomas hit a leadoff single in the eighth inning. Ryan Harmer took over, walked the bags full, and gave up Lillis’ run on a Yamamoto single from the #9 spot, with Leon thrown out at the plate by Suzuki. Thomas doubled home a run against Eric Reese in the ninth, which was Reese’s third straight day out, but hey, ****** starting, ****** relieving, ****** results. 6-1 Loggers. Crispin 1-2, BB, HR, RBI;

In other news

July 29 – The Crusaders deal OF/1B Pedro Leal (.282, 11 HR, 48 RBI) to the Rebels for four prospects. The package contains #109 C/1B Justin Reese.
July 29 – At the advanced age of 41, 1B/2B Mario Briones (.314, 3 HR, 42 RBI) is not too young to get traded from the Falcons to the Wolves for outfielder Eiji Kinoshiita (.245, 0 HR, 14 RBI).
July 30 – The Rebs also pick up SP Larry Broad (11-6, 3.61 ERA) from the Aces for two prospects, including #81 prospect LF/RF John Kaniewski.
July 30 – Vegas also trades OF Neville van de Wouw (.244, 7 HR, 42 RBI) to the Capitals for SP Carlos Malla (6-7, 3.25 ERA), #47 prospect SP Jeremy Fetta, and $1.26M in cash.
July 30 – The Titans ship LF/RF/INF Jose Rodriguez (.234, 10 HR, 41 RBI) to the Blue Sox for outfielder Eric Cobb (.276, 3 HR, 39 RBI).
July 31 – Falcons INF Ian Woodrome (.307, 6 HR, 38 RBI) would miss the rest of the season with a broken elbow.
August 2 – The Bayhawks beat the Condors, 5-3 in 14 innings, in a game in which no player on either side manages as many as three hits or two RBI.
August 2 – Also 14 innings goes the Knights-Aces game in which the Georgians prevail, 5-4. Atlanta’s Jon Alade (.306, 18 HR, 70 RBI) drives in four of their five runs, including the go-ahead run in the top of the 14th.
August 3 – Saturday’s hero, Atlanta’s Jon Alade (.305, 18 HR, 70 RBI), leaves Sunday’s game early with back problems and is expected to miss at least one week.

FL Player of the Week: SFW C Nick Samuel (.230, 11 HR, 57 RBI), batting .474 (9-19) with 3 HR, 8 RBI
CL Player of the Week: CHA RF/LF Danny Ceballos (.308, 7 HR, 53 RBI), hitting .481 (13-27) with 2 HR, 10 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: DEN LF/CF Sandy Castillo (.342, 10 HR, 73 RBI), batting .433 with 4 HR, 34 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: MIL INF Zach Suggs (.308, 27 HR, 79 RBI) raking .379 with 8 HR, 23 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: CIN SP Austin Wilcox (9-10, 4.52 ERA), rallying with a 5-0 month with 2.34 ERA, 25 K
CL Pitcher of the Month: CHA SP Art Schaeffer (12-4, 3.50 ERA), throwing 4-0 in five starts, with a 0.96 ERA, 27 K
FL Rookie of the Month: NAS 3B Tyler Lundberg (.289, 4 HR, 33 RBI), hitting .315 with 1 HR, 16 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: VAN CF Damian Moreno (.310, 12 HR, 59 RBI), batting .346 with 3 HR, 18 RBI

Complaints and stuff

I don’t quite know what to say anymore. They suck. All of them.

No, no. That’s about it. They scored 37 runs this week and still didn’t manage to win more than two games. Giving up 44 runs was probably part of that.

No, they suck. That’s plainly it.

Next week: free wins for the Crusaders and Stars against the Raccoons and their excellent 10-26 run.

Fun Fact: The Raccoons have never gone straight from first to sixth place in the CL North.

Not even in 1997! Because while the ’97 Coons shed 40 games compared to 1996, they still won 68, and they beat out the damn Elks for fifth place on some Vern Kinnear heroics in the final series of the season. That was of course also the final series for Vern Kinnear as a Raccoon.

The 1997 Raccoons funnily enough finished with a positive run differential (+8) despite being 26 games under .500. The 65-97 Elks were at -187.