Portland Raccoons (ABL)

[Westheim]

Raccoons (15-15) vs. Rebels (15-15) – May 10-12, 2022

Despite a sweep in 2021 that brought the Coons at least away from the dire .400 mark, the Rebels were still the team that they were overall the worst all-time against after some 45 years of play in the ABL with a 26-34 (.433) record accumulated over the years. Even if the baseball gods would be so kind to us / cruel to them to let the Coons win another three-peat in this set, the Rebels would still remain our worst opponent. Also, give or take a dim 1996 World Series defeat… Both teams were one with the .500 mark right now, though not necessarily with themselves. While the Rebels had some decent pitching assembled, with a first-division rotation and a usable bullpen they were second from the bottom in batting average and were scoring less than an average number of runs in the Federal League. They did however have the other FL player already at double digit home runs, Tamio Kimura (.376, 10 HR, 25 RBI) doing his all to stem the tide and bring the team closer to the Blue Sox atop the division.

Projected matchups:
Frank Kelly (1-1, 2.66 ERA) vs. Todd Wood (0-1, 5.40 ERA)
Travis Garrett (1-2, 7.13 ERA) vs. Fernando Cruz (1-2, 4.31 ERA)
Bobby Guerrero (2-3, 5.20 ERA) vs. Ian Van Meter (2-2, 2.98 ERA)

We will get their only southpaw in Cruz, but we will miss frequent opponent during his Indians times, Dan Lambert (4-1, 3.16 ERA); also Bobby Guerrero’s namesake, Rich Guerrero (3-4, 5.48 ERA).

Does it matter who pitches for the other team? Coons can’t seem to score for their little fuzzy lives… Meanwhile we will use our off day on Monday to push Ricky Martinez to the end of the line this week. He’s earned himself a place in the dark corner no less than Tragic Travis.

Game 1
RIC: SS Bozan – C Schoeppen – 1B Moreira – LF Correa – RF Kimura – 2B Rinehart – 3B Cramer – CF D. Flores – P Wood
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Spencer – RF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – 3B Nunley – SS Stalker – C Rice – CF Stevenson – P Kelly

The ball sure seemed jumpy early on, with lots of hard drives in the first few innings. Of course, the Raccoons would only ever get the worst of that. With Spencer and Rockwell on base and two outs in the first inning, Matt Nunley drove a ball to deep center that surely hit an invisible bird in mid-flight because while it seemed like a 3-shot off the bat, it suddenly died and dropped into Danny Flores’ mitten at the edge of the warnings track. Flores himself would be less unfairly hampered in his at-bat in the top of the second inning. Finding Jeff Rinehart on base and two outs, Flores wacko-ed all of a 1-2 pitch by Kelly and rammed it over the fence in rightfield for his second home run of the season and a 2-0 lead for the Rebels. The third inning saw them build on that lead, somewhat. After Kelly struck out Manny Bozan to start the inning, Casimiro Schoeppen’s bomb ran the score to 3-0, and it quickly got much worse. Luis Moreira singled with one out, Kimura singled with two outs, and then Kelly walked both Rinehart and Justin Cramer, 4-0. Danny Flores grounded to the mound, Kelly threw to first, but hit Flores in what would have been a flimsy bam-bam play at best, now was a game of Gil Rockwell chasing down the errant ball in foul ground. Two runs scored there, and another two scored on Todd Wood’s single to right. Down 8-0, Kelly was banished to the showers.

Amazingly, the Raccoons were not completely dead despite a few boot marks in their furry bums. Todd Wood didn’t manage to blow the 8-0 lead, but he sure failed to clinch a W, being razed for six runs before the fifth inning was over. The Coons initially scored two in the bottom 3rd on three singles and an error, then romped him for four more in the bottom 5th that started innocently enough with 1-out walks to Rockwell and Nunley. Stalker struck out, more and more moving to St. Petersburg, but the bottom of the order came through. Danny Rice hit an RBI single, Stevenson doubled in a pair, and then Erickson batted for Logan Sloan and hit an RBI single past Rinehart to get the score to 8-6 and Zhuo-Cheng Li into the game. Cookie was the first to face the right-hander and hit only a shy roller in front of home plate. Schoeppen pounced and fired to first, wildly, but Erickson had fallen asleep. While Cookie reached second base on the throwing error, Erickson failed to score, presenting Jarod Spencer with two in scoring position and two outs, and the youngster struck out in a full count.

Tim Stalker was threatened with a golden sombrero when he batted in the bottom 6th after having posted three strikeouts already. With Nunley on first and two outs, he finally put a 1-2 pitch in play, a ball that soared into the gap in left center, but was cut off by Flores before it could reach the wall, and thus prevented Nunley from scoring. Rice batted with two in scoring position and two outs, grounded up the middle, but Rinehart got glove on that grounder and retired Rice at first to strand another two. The Rebels also had runners on second and third and two outs in the seventh inning, with Cory Dew in his second inning of work. Ex-Coon Eddie Jackson pinch-hit in the #9 hole at that point. The 2-1 pitch was popped foul near first base, and dropped in front of a confused Gil Rockwell. The error gave Eddie a second life, but he grounded out to Nunley on the next pitch. This was still anybody’s game, but the Raccoons could not afford to concede another run. Unfortunately, that was what Noah Bricker did in the ninth inning. Jon Correa and Jeff Rinehart both knocked doubles off him, plating another run, but then again, the Raccoons in the last two innings amounted only to Daniel Bullock’s pinch-walk in the ninth and would have lost anyway… 9-6 Rebels. Carmona 3-5, BB; Stevenson 2-3, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Erickson (PH) 1-1, RBI; Sloan 2.1 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 4 K; Dew 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

The final damage report saw Kelly charged with eight runs, even though only four were earned. I am still of the opinion that the pitcher’s errors should not make runs unearned. Your mess – clean it up yourself!

Talking about a mess – Erickson’s pinch-hit RBI single ended an 0-for-25 skid. Yaaaay!!

Game 2
RIC: SS Bozan – C Schoeppen – 1B Moreira – LF Correa – RF Kimura – 2B Rinehart – 3B Farias – CF D. Flores – P F. Cruz
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Spencer – RF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – 3B Nunley – C Olivares – SS Stalker – CF Stevenson – P Garrett

Garrett issued a walk in the first, but would first incur damage in the second inning on Tamio Kimura’s leadoff homer. Oh well, **** like that happens to the best. Two down, Flores singled from the #8 spot, clearing the pitcher spot in the inning. Oh well, **** like that happens to the best. Then Fernando Cruz singled hard into center, sending Flores to third. Oh well, I need a drink. Manny Bozan hit a rocket to right, somehow Mendoza was on the other end and survived, but Garrett’s ERA was unlikely to drop into the 3-range in our lifetime… The Coons would also have runners on the corners in the second inning, but Stevenson grounded out to Moreira to keep them stranded.

Top 3rd, leadoff walk to Schoeppen. Moreira grounded to short, but the Coons only got the lead runner, and Moreira soon ended up at third on Correa’s single to center. Stevenson made a bad throw to third, allowing Correa to move into scoring position, too, meaning Kimura came up with two in scoring position and one out. This time, he grounded to first to waste the opportunity, and Garrett handled Rinehart’s grounder to keep the Rebels stranded. Garrett held on to the game with the tips of his claws for now, while the Raccoons would get a chance for some real damage in the bottom of the fourth inning. Rockwell hit an infield single when Bozan and Rinehart got into each other’s uniforms trying to field the grounder behind the mound, and Nunley hit a ball off the wall for a double. When Olivares walked, it brought up… Tim Stalker and his sad-sack .214 batting average and .585 OPS. This was probably a good spot to buy himself another two or three games rather than getting deleted off the roster, but he hit the first pitch to Emilio Farias, and sharply enough to allow the veteran to turn two.

On the plus side, Garrett somehow made it through six with only the Kimura homer on his permanent ledger, walking three and whiffing but one; on the other hand, the Critters couldn’t even score one ****ing run to take him off the hook. A Bozan error on Olivares’ pathetic grounder that should have ended the bottom of the sixth, but instead put a second Coon on base in addition to Matt Nunley, pulled up Stalker’s spot again, but I had enough of his sorry appearance. Daniel Bullock batted for him, hit a single up the middle, but Nunley held up at third base. Cruz balked before Stevenson could do something stupid, which put the tying run across after all, and when Stevenson was walked, Garrett’s day was over. We needed runs. NOW. Even if it meant batting a left-hander here, with Danny Rice grabbing a bat to face Cruz in trouble. Of course he grounded out easily, Jeff Rinehart throwing to first with 40 feet to spare. Top 7th, Joel Davis walked two, but got Kimura out to end the inning; bottom 7th, Cookie hit a leadoff single before being stranded by the bunch of turds behind him in the order. Oh, the agony. Top 9th, Manobu Sugano allowed 1-out singles to consecutive left-handers, PH David Gonzalez and Manny Bozan. Bricker came in, surrendered a sharp bouncer to Schoeppen, but that was right into Nunley’s fangs and he started a double play.

Guess who appeared in the bottom of the ninth inning. Hector Santos. He had made only one start for the Rebels and had otherwise pitched out of the pen and to a 1-2 record and 3.79 ERA. And we needed to get a run off him here… Stevenson grounded out to Ross Irvin at second base, and Max Erickson also made a sorry out. Cookie walked with two outs, representing the tying run, but Spencer hit a poor grounder in front of the plate before legging out Schoeppen’s throw to first, but throwing himself into first base head-first he actually hurt himself and had to be run for by Sam Armetta. Not that that run mattered; Cookie’s did. Mendoza was batting, so I was getting ready for overtime. Oh what little confidence I had. Mendoza completely dismantled a baseball on Santos’ 2-1 pitch. A sound, a drive, a 3-run walkoff homer!! 4-1 Coons! Mendoza 2-5, HR, 3 RBI; Bullock (PH) 1-2;

Okay, this was a bitter win.

Poor Hector Santos…

No, there is no pleasing me.

Jarod Spencer was listed day-to-day with a strained rib cage muscle, which should hamper him for the rest of the week.

Game 3
RIC: SS Bozan – C Schoeppen – 1B Moreira – LF Correa – RF Kimura – 2B Rinehart – 3B Farias – CF D. Flores – P I. Van Meter
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – 3B Nunley – 1B Mendoza – C Rice – RF Erickson – CF Stevenson – 2B Armetta – P B. Guerrero

Mendoza was denied a 3-piece in the first inning, with his drive to right bouncing on the track, inches from the fence. Daniel Bullock scored, Matt Nunley went to third on the double, and Rice’s sac fly would give Guerrero a 2-0 lead after the first frame. The Rebels made seven groundouts the first time through the order. The only exceptions were Flores, who singled in the third, and Kimura, who struck out in the second inning. The pressure was sure to increase, though, and did as early as the following inning. After Casimiro Schoeppen’s leadoff single, Guerrero lost Moreira to a walk, and looked neck-deep in trouble, but Schoeppen would never even reach second base, as the 4-5-6 batters made three weak outs in the air. Farias hit a leadoff single in the fifth, but Flores found Sam Armetta for a double play right away; and in the sixth, Manny Bozan’s leadoff single (of the infield variety) disappeared when he was caught stealing after Schoeppen and Moreira had already flown out to Cookie and Stevenson, respectively.

It would not be such a bad idea to maybe tack on a run, still. The Raccoons didn’t exactly tear out limbs in their attempts to score again, at least until Erickson closed his eyes and gave Van Meter’s mystery pitch at 1-0 the best whack he could come up with. By accident, he hit the ball – and it soared some 380 feet into the rightfield stands for a solo jack and a 3-0 score. Guerrero completed seven innings on 99 pitches before being patted on the back for a job well done and hit for by Stalker in the bottom 7th, an inning in which absolutely nobody reached base. Bullock was on base to start the bottom 8th and stole second base, but an intentional walk to Mendoza and Rice smacking a ball right at Rinehart for an inning-ending double play at least gave Brett Lillis a rare save opportunity. Moreira’s 1-out walk did not lead to a Rebels resurgence, and the Coons scratched out a series win. 3-0 Raccoons! Bullock 2-4; Nunley 2-4, 2B; Guerrero 7.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K, W (3-3);

Gil Rockwell did not appear in this game, leaving Hugo Mendoza as the last Critter to see action in every contest this season.

Raccoons (17-16) vs. Crusaders (19-16) – May 13-15, 2022

We were behind 1-2 in the season series and that was the difference in us being fourth and them being third in the division. The Crusaders were batting a paltry .233 as a team – the worst mark in the league – but managed to score more or less average runs compared to the Continental League field thanks to a healthy dose of power, their 21 home runs ranking fourth in the league (Coons? 15, 9th). Their rotation was the best in the league and was all they had to cling their hopes on. They had not one, not two, but three starters with ERA’s better than 2.40 …

Projected matchups:
Jonathan Toner (3-1, 3.69 ERA) vs. Cody Zimmerman (3-4, 2.38 ERA)
Frank Kelly (1-2, 3.32 ERA) vs. Hwa-pyung Choe (4-0, 1.69 ERA)
Ricky Martinez (0-3, 6.75 ERA) vs. Mike Rutkowski (5-1, 1.18 ERA)

Of course we were going to face all of them! Oh well. Toner would face the southpaw Zimmerman on Friday, and we would pitch Kelly on three days’ rest on Saturday. That was okay, though, since he had barely thrown 60 pitches on Tuesday while getting routed.

Game 1
NYC: LF Loya – 3B Schmit – 2B S. Valdez – C A. Gonzales – RF J. Williams – CF McCullough – 1B A. Young – SS McKnight – P Zimmerman
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – RF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – 3B Nunley – C Olivares – 2B Stalker – CF Romero – P Toner

After wasting a Bullock double in the first, the Coons scored the ****tiest run in the second inning. Nunley extended a 10-game hitting streak with a single up the middle to begin the inning, but would only advance on a wild pitch until Romero was drilled with two outs. Toner drew four balls from Zimmerman, loading the bases for Cookie, who hit a poor roller between home plate and the mound, and Zimmerman pounced on the ball rather than lettering the catcher have a shot at first base. This cost them any shot, with Cookie safe by a full step and Nunley scoring easily. Bullock then grounded out to Ronnie McKnight, who came in batting .391 while barely being used at all. Toner struck out five in the first three innings before the onset of rain and soon enough a 40-minute delay. Jonny walked the first batter he faced after the irregular break in the action, Andy Schmit, but would manage to get out of the fourth inning without Schmit even making it another 90 feet. Starting with Jake Williams to end the fourth inning, Toner struck out four in a row, giving him nine in five innings, but Zimmerman was not really much behind, whiffing six in the first five innings, including Gil Rockwell to end the bottom 5th with two aboard.

Toner wouldn’t have another K until arriving at Williams again, who whiffed ending the seventh inning, but in a tender 1-0 game it was less about the strikeouts and more about any ****ing out possible. The Raccoons’ offense was stymied badly by Zimmerman after his early struggles; Toner batted in the seventh inning, but made the second out with a fly to Kevin McCullough. Cookie walked, but Bullock struck out, Zimmerman’s seventh victim. McCullough popped out in the top 8th while ex-Coons Adam Young ([redacted]!!!) and Ronnie McKnight both grounded out easily. The Coons still couldn’t tack on a run against Zimmerman and then Dave Butler in the bottom 8th, and so the 1-0 lead moved to the ninth. And who should pitch? Toner was on only 96 pitches, normally not a challenge for him, but there had been the delay, and the Crusaders sent a left-handed pinch-hitter to begin the inning with Josh Perkins taking a stick and making a stand in the box. Nah, Jonny surely has this! Perkins singled up the middle, Ricky Loya singled to left, and this were the base hits #2 and #3 for New York in this game. For ****’s sake… Brett Lillis entered NOW with **** steaming already. He was 0-2 on Schmit before the switch-hitter belched a drive into the left-center gap for an RBI double. Jason Travis’ pinch-hit RBI single put the Crusaders in front, and Schmit would score on Alfonso Gonzales’ groundout. A leadoff walk to Olivares that Steve Casey issued in the bottom of the ninth inning shockingly did not lead to a rally and a happy end. Erickson, Romero, and Rice made pathetic outs in order. 3-1 Crusaders. Bullock 2-4, 2B; Toner 8.0 IP, 3 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 10 K, L (3-2);

I may be sitting here laughing, but I assure you that that is only the madness finally breaking through. There was no reason to laugh with this team, ever.

This game was the end for Tim Stalker. Batting .204 in a bit over 100 at-bats was just too atrocious to watch any longer. 30-year old Guillermo Aponte was called up from St. Petersburg as an interim solution while I was cooking on something different.

Game 2
NYC: LF Loya – 3B Schmit – 2B S. Valdez – 1B Perkins – C A. Gonzales – RF J. Williams – CF McCullough – SS Peters – P Choe
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – 3B Nunley – 1B Mendoza – C Rice – RF Erickson – CF Stevenson – 2B Armetta – P Kelly

Kelly seamlessly continued where he had been stopped on Tuesday, getting nicked for three hits, a walk, and somehow only one run right in the first inning. Jake Williams drove in the point for New York, singling over Bullock with two outs and the bags stocked. Chris Peters’ leadoff single in the second inning was soon enough followed by a walk to Loya, but Schmit hit to Armetta for a double play. Before long, the Raccoons were down a catcher when Chris Peters fell on Danny Rice’s wrist in a collision at second base. Rice left the game, replaced by Olivares, although the Druid would soon enough radio in that there was no structural damage done to Rice in the collision after shooting him with delta rays in his secret laboratory under the ballpark.

Before it could get even worse, it would get better. Cookie opened the bottom 3rd with a single, then stole second base, his tenth bag of the season. Nunley rammed a ball through Schmit to score him after Bullock’s drive to left center had sadly ended up with McCullough. Mendoza then brought in Nunley in style, firing a 2-piece to right center, putting Kelly on top 3-1. Yeah, well, not that that lasted very long… After McCullough’s 1-out double in the fourth, Kelly was bitten by his complete lack of stuff and horrendous inability to strike out anybody with two eyes. Batting with two outs, Choe singled sharply to left, scoring the runner to close the gap to 3-2, and Ricky Loya’s double created some real panic before Schmit popped out in shallow center.

Choe batted again leading off the seventh and again Kelly came nowhere near a K, but Choe came damn close to a single when he looped a ball to shallow center. Josh Stevenson, hustling in hard, made a shoestring catch. The Crusaders would not reach base in the inning, but the 3-2 lead looked a lot flimsier than Toner’s 1-0 advantage the previous night, and we all still knew how that had shook out… Sure enough Sergio Valdez clubbed a leadoff double off the rightfield wall in the eighth inning. Perkins struck out before Gonzales popped out over the infield. At that point Kelly had 105 pitches and he wasn’t going to face left-handed Jake Williams and his .390 clip (although that was on only 50-ish at-bats due to him missing time with an injury already). But he wasn’t going to face them anyway – in a perplexing move, the Crusaders sent career dunce Adam Young (also a left-handed batter!) to swing the stick in place of rookie phenom Williams …!? Sugano came out of the pen to have a look at the .206 hitter, resulting in an obvious strikeout. The bottom of the inning saw the Raccoons sleeping on a tree branch and Sugano was still in the mound in the ninth after the grisly, long outing for Lillis the previous night (also his second outing in a row). Sugano issued a leadoff walk to McCullough, but then threw him out at second base on Peters’ bunt. With a switch-hitter appearing as pinch-hitter now in .194 menace Jason Travis, Noah Bricker took over. Travis flew out to center, and .210 righty Ricky Loya grounded out in a genuinely non-threatening manner to Matt Nunley. 3-2 Critters. Nunley 3-4, RBI; Erickson 2-4; Kelly 7.2 IP, 9 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, W (2-2);

Nunley has a 12-game hitting streak. Also, not only has Cookie Carmona stolen ten bases so far this season, he also has not been caught. It’s a more selective approach he’s taken, but so far it seems to work. In recent seasons his success rate was sometimes only around 60%. Also, one base roughly every three games is surely not a rate to sneeze at.

The problem right now is having DTD players on the roster, including a pitcher. Danny Rice’s wrist was quite sore on Sunday morning and the Druid did some odd treatment to him. He doubted that Rice would be hampered for even a week, but that was quite a lot if you only have two catchers to begin with and we would NOT have a day off next week.

The solution was another roster change. Guillermo Aponte was demoted without playing in a game, and we added a third catcher in 25-year old Isaiah Jones. The right-handed batter had been signed prior to the 2019 season as a trash heap addition after being released by the Aces, who had taken him 29th overall in the ’17 draft. Jones was surely not a great batter… he had hit .218 with three homers in 40 games in AAA last year, but he would surely do as catcher #2.5 while Rice was resting and Olivares was doing most of the work.

Never mind that one of our five remaining infielders is injured then…

Game 3
NYC: LF Loya – 3B Schmit – C A. Gonzales – 2B S. Valdez – 1B Perkins – CF McCullough – RF J. Williams – SS Peters – P Rutkowski
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – 3B Nunley – RF Mendoza – C Olivares – 1B Rockwell – CF Stevenson – 2B Armetta – P Martinez

Ricky does as Ricky does, in this case giving the Crusaders a 1-0 lead with two outs in the second on Mike Rutkowski’s RBI double. Why even get aggravated over **** like this? The third inning also almost had it all, a single, a walk, a passed ball, and another run for New York. Power was unpacked in the fourth; Ricky Loya hit a 2-piece off Martinez to get the Crusaders zoomed out to 4-0, but Rutkowski lost Nunley and Mendoza to walks in the bottom of the inning and then Gil Rockwell ran into one and romped a 3-piece to left to bring the Raccoons a lot closer than they or Martinez deserved.

Although even Martinez deserved better than this, the Crusaders would break him up for good in the sixth inning. McCullough’s leadoff single was one thing, but after Williams flew out both Chris Peters and Mike Rutkowski hit by-inches doubles. Peters’ soared over Cookie’s glove at the leftfield fence by not a lot, and Rutkowski chopped a blooper that landed fair just barely behind first base and then got stuck in the nook where the seats jutted out in foul ground near the rightfield line. Both doubles scored runs, cranking the Crusaders lead to 6-3, and Cory Dew replaced the inept AND unlucky Ricky Martinez, who was loaded with another run on Ricky Loya’s second home run of the game, this one a 2-piece off Dew. It just kept going like that, with Quinn MacCarthy getting bopped by Williams in the seventh, 9-3, and the Critters lost another player in the bottom of that inning, and unfortunately it was Cookie, who collided with Sergio Valdez at second base and left the game with a shoulder ailment.

Through all the detritus, Rutkowski pitched eight innings, and there was no reason to remove him with runners on the corners in the 9-3 game in the bottom 8th either. Thanks to injuries and general malaise, the Raccoons had to pick whether they wanted to bat for Sam Armetta with two outs, or the pitcher on the unlikely chance that Armetta did not **** up. He ****ed up. 9-3 Crusaders. Carmona 3-4; Rockwell 2-4, HR, 3 RBI; Stevenson 2-4;

In other news

May 11 – SAC RF/LF Pablo Sanchez (.405, 2 HR, 22 RBI) has a 20-game hitting streak after a ninth-inning single in Sacramento’s 7-3 win in Atlanta.
May 11 – SAL INF Mike Green (.292, 7 HR, 19 RBI) is expected to miss at least one month with a fractured foot.
May 11 – In terms of fractured foot’s, WAS OF/1B Terry Kopp (.246, 6 HR, 16 RBI) also has his broken by a pitch and should miss about a month.
May 11 – The Indians walk off in the 12th inning against the Wolves, 4-3, when SAL MR Matt Bohan (0-2, 2.76 ERA) walks four batters in the inning.
May 12 – A damaged elbow ligament ends the season of 33-year old LAP SP Alex Maldonado (3-1, 2.63 ERA). He could miss up to a full year.
May 14 – The hitting streak of Sacramento’s Pablo Sanchez (.399, 2 HR, 25 RBI) is over. The 27-year old reigning Player of the Year goes hitless in a 6-2 defeat the Scorpions incur against the Gold Sox, stopping his streak at 22 games.
May 14 – DAL C Jose Vargas (.419, 2 HR, 9 RBI) is surely done for the season after suffering a broken elbow.
May 14 – The Aces deal CL Tim Dunkin (1-2, 3.72 ERA, 7 SV) to the Falcons for two prospects.
May 14 – The Stars come back from an early deficit against the Wolves thanks to an 8-run sixth inning and eventually beat them 13-7. DAL RF/LF Kyle Mims (.583, 1 HR, 7 RBI in 20 AB) goes 4-for-5 with a home run and 3 RBI.

Complaints and stuff

The Druid is testing a new experimental treatment for his patients: face painting …!

Yes, Danny Rice is a zebra now, Cookie is an owl, and Jarod Spencer is a mighty tiger. (looks at Spencer) Jarod, make “roar” for your GM. Make - … make “roar” for me, please. No? No. No, he’s not doing it.

We should really do this more often. They should start every game with faces painted.

Yes I am drunk, how else could you watch them play?

Cookie Carmona will go to the DL, unfortunately, with a mild shoulder strain, but there are chances that he will miss only two weeks and can return right after his DL stint runs out. Nah, I don’t have the dimmest clue who to play in the leadoff spot. Maybe Bullock can bat first AND second until he drops his average to .230 inevitably?

Fun fact: Gil Rockwell holds eight of the top nine home run seasons for the Atlanta Knights, as well as six of the top ten home run seasons in league history.

I sure doubt that he will add another prodigious season to that stranglehold on the power boards, and to this day he is the only ABL player to hit more than even 44 home runs, with a lone 49 HR campaign in 2015.

The Raccoons franchise record doesn’t even scratch 40; Hugo Mendoza hit 38 bombs in 2020, which tied him for a mark 26 years old at the time that was set by Royce Green, who slugged his 38 homers in 1994 for a twice-defending-champions team that managed to finish 81-81 and yet just four games out of the playoffs. Green, who at the point was 24 years old and had smashed 74 bombs and looked like the real deal to challenge the home run leaderboards right to the top, hit 16 home runs in an injury-plagued campaign in ’95, but smashed a resurgent 26 in ’96 – at least until he tore his shoulder apart in early September. His power was henceforth gone, as well as his health and usefulness in general; he accumulated a qualifying number of at-bats only twice after the shoulder tear, lastly at age 31. After hitting 116 home runs by 26, he would hit barely another 100 before retiring his mangled body from the game after a shameful .109 performance with no homers for the 2005 Scorpions.

(turns to Chad, wearing the full costume) Say, raccoon with the giant smiling head – what does it feel like if the universe actually does not smother your dreams each and every time?

[Westheim]

The week started with a 4-game series against Indy, but before we could even get to that, there were roster moves to talk about. Cookie Carmona was, sadly, disabled with his shoulder strain. He was replaced by a waiver claim: the Raccoons were awarded the contract of 32-year old former Pittsburgh Miners infielder Ruben Pelles on Monday after claiming him off waivers. Pelles, who was still under team control and made a manageable $432k this year, was batting .283 in 30 games, with three home runs.

To make room for Pelles on the 40-man roster, AAA outfielder Kevin DeWald was waived and designated for assignment.

Raccoons (18-18) vs. Indians (20-16) – May 16-19, 2022

The Indians looked like they had a decent package together after years in the nowhere regions of the division. Coming into the series, they ranked fourth in both runs scored and runs allowed, with their rotation ranking a bit better (5th) than their bullpen (7th) by ERA. They were second in home runs, with Cesar Martinez (.346, 13 HR, 33 RBI) leading the Continental League in bombs, but they couldn’t steal a base, ever, sitting dead-last with just seven bags taken. This was the first series between the two teams in 2022, with the 2021 season series having ended in an even split.

Projected matchups:
Travis Garrett (1-2, 6.00 ERA) vs. Tom Shumway (3-2, 2.32 ERA)
Bobby Guerrero (3-3, 4.36 ERA) vs. Killian Savoie (3-1, 4.11 ERA)
Jonathan Toner (3-2, 3.48 ERA) vs. Alvin Smith (0-0, 0.00 ERA)
Frank Kelly (2-2, 3.18 ERA) vs. Mario Alva (2-3, 3.83 ERA)

We will see two left-handed pitchers to start this series, and then we are still gonna miss their third southpaw, Tristan Broun (2-3, 3.56 ERA). That is unless they start short-starting pitchers, because they have run out of suitable starters. Smith is a 27-year old rookie right-hander with seven career relief appearances, but not a single major league start. Lingering in their pen is also Kyle Lamb (1-0, 3.97 ERA), so there were multiple ways to throw a third left-handed starter at the Raccoons.

Game 1
IND: LF Otero – CF D. Morales – RF C. Martinez – 1B M. Rucker – 3B J. Jackson – SS Matias – C Carbajal – 2B Correia – P Shumway
POR: SS Bullock – 2B Pelles – LF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – 3B Nunley – C Olivares – RF Erickson – CF Stevenson – P Garrett

Ruben Pelles’ first plate appearance in Portland resulted in doubling up Bullock with a grounder to short after Daniel had opened the bottom 1st with a single. I love those instantly likable new additions! The second started with Nunley singling, Olivares beating Cesar Martinez’ range for a double, and the runs would come in to score on Erickson’s sac fly, and then a 2-out RBI single past Raul Matias by nobody less than Tragic Travis, who had come into the game with 18 walks and 13 strikeouts in 30 innings, but whiffed four and walked none in the first two innings. Granted, he also allowed three hits and barely escaped being piled on early, a pattern that continued into the third inning, in which Danny Morales’ 1-out single and Mike Rucker’s 2-out double were not enough to push a run across for the Indians, with Justin Jackson flying out to Stevenson in center to keeping the runners stranded in scoring position.

Matt Nunley added a run in the bottom 3rd with an RBI single coming with two outs that chased home Mendoza, who had doubled into the leftfield corner, from second base. Garrett meanwhile kept wobbling on into the fifth, where Leo Otero hit a 1-out single to center, the sixth base knock off Garrett, who struck out Morales for his eighth K of the game, but not until after moving Otero to third base. The leftfielder stole a base, his fifth of the season and thus more than half the team’s total, and advanced another sack further on a wild pitch. Martinez worked a full count for a walk, Garrett’s first in the game, and Mike Rucker (.266, 9 HR, 25 RBI) came up as the tying run, and of course he was also a lefty slugger. Being kindly reminded that we were unlikely to score another run before Sunday by the pitching coach, Garrett reared back and struck out Rucker to end the inning, his ninth trophy in the game. He’d get one more, whiffing Shumway to end the sixth with runners yet again in scoring position. Those runners, Jackson and Matias, had reached on a single that hopped over Rockwell’s glove to begin the inning, then on Garrett’s own error. Travis’ pitch count went over 100 in the inning and he was hit for in the bottom of the sixth. The Indians had the first two men on AGAIN in the seventh inning, Otero and Morales singling against Cory Dew, and AGAIN left the runners stranded. The Coons added two runs in the bottom 7th on a Mendoza homer to left, and then an unearned run that Rockwell scored on an Olivares double; Matt Nunley had in between reached base on an error by Josh Correia. The extended lead was put to the test, still, in the eighth inning. A Mendoza error put on Jesus Carbajal, and when Quinn MacCarthy replaced Logan Sloan, he walked both left-handers he faced, PH Rogelio Medina and leadoff man Leo Otero. Joel Davis inherited the bases loaded with two outs, lost Morales in a full count to force in the Indians’ first run, but then struck out Martinez as I got increasingly antsy. Despite a leadoff walk to Rucker in the ninth, Joel Davis would turn the rocky outing into a save, retiring the next three batters to end the game. 5-1 Coons. Mendoza 3-3, BB, HR, 2B, RBI; Nunley 2-4, RBI; Olivares 2-4, 2 2B, RBI; Garrett 6.0 IP, 7 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 10 K, W (2-2) and 1-2, RBI; Davis 1.1 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 2 K, SV (1);

Pelles went 0-for-4 in his first Raccoons outing. I already love him.

Game 2
IND: LF L. Otero – CF D. Morales – RF C. Martinez – 1B M. Rucker – C J. White – 3B J. Jackson – SS Matias – 2B Ventura – P Savoie
POR: SS Bullock – 2B Pelles – LF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – 3B Nunley – C Olivares – RF Erickson – CF Romero – P Guerrero

After being stymied all of Monday, the Indians broke out immediately against Bobby Guerrero on Tuesday. Starting with Danny Morales’ single, they reeled off three straight base hits for two quick runs. While Jamal White hit into a force play for the second out, Justin Jackson bombed Guerrero, homering to centerfield and running the score to 4-0 early on. The Raccoons would actually answer that call in the bottom of the first inning. Savoie started his outing by drilling Bullock, who was then forced out on Ruben Pelles’ grounder to Jeremie Ventura. Mendoza flew out, but with two outs Gil Rockwell and Matt Nunley hit back-to-back bombs to cut the deficit to 4-3 right away. There would not be scoring after that for a few innings. Otero hit a triple into the rightfield corner in the fourth inning, but it came with two outs and nobody on base, and Morales struck out to leave him stranded. On to the sixth, where Justin Jackson hit a leadoff single off Guerrero. After Guerrero nicked Matias, A.J. Faulk ran for Jackson from second base, and Jeremie Ventura promptly hit another single to right. Faulk was sent, Erickson threw home and got him tagged out before he could get to home plate – a play of inches. The runners moved up into scoring position, but with one out the Indians didn’t bat for Savoie, who hit a fly to Ricardo Romero for a sac fly, 5-3, before Otero struck out. The Raccoons would have a man on first base from time to time, but couldn’t even reach second base. Rockwell twice grounded into a force with Mendoza on first base, and the rest of the crew wasn’t any better. Guerrero was removed after a 1-out double by Martinez in the seventh inning; the Critters pieced the last eight outs together between Sugano, Dew, Bricker, and Lillis, not allowing another run to the Indians, but in the end the fatal damage had already been dealt in the first inning. The Raccoons never reached scoring position again. 5-3 Indians.

There was another roster move after this game. Max Erickson (.153, 2 HR, 11 RBI) was deleted from the roster via waivers and designation for assignment. Zach Graves, batting .276 with two homers in AAA, joined the team.

Game 3
IND: CF Otero – 3B J. Jackson – 1B M. Rucker – RF C. Martinez – LF Genge – C J. White – SS Matias – 2B Ventura – P A. Smith
POR: SS Bullock – 2B Spencer – 3B Nunley – LF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – RF Graves – C Olivares – CF Stevenson – P Toner

Whenever Jonny Toner walks the first batter he faces, you can just as well brace for heat, because it’s gonna come. Otero stole second base (running against Olivares at will) and was driven in with a Rucker single to give the Indians another first-inning lead. The hole soon got bigger; Jamal White hit a leadoff single past Bullock in the second, and Raul Matias singled clean to right. Zach Graves’ throw to third base went well wayward and Nunley had to chase it down in foul ground, with even the stocky White scoring from first base on the play. Ventura rapped another single to left, allowing Matias to score from second, 3-0. While the Coons’ offense was outright dismal, Toner struck out eight in four innings, but that also included a hard-to-explain 4-pitch walk to Alvin Smith with two outs and nobody on base in the fourth inning.

While the Critters amounted to three hits and a double play, and no runs, in five innings, Toner amounted to nine strikeouts on 85 pitches. It was a rousing experience to see Jarod Spencer getting plunked by Smith in the bottom 6th, because that was an actual base runner on an actual base for Portland… Nunley flew out to left for the second out, before Mendoza grounded to Ventura, who spiked a throw that eluded Rucker, bounced off the top of the dugout railing and into the stands. TOTALLY unearned runners in scoring position, two outs, and Rockwell the tying run – the perfect mix to be horrendously disappointed. Rockwell popped out to Justin Jackson. Ventura’s leadoff double in the seventh of course led to another run in due time, with Jackson dropping a 2-out single into shallow right to get him in. That was the fourth run off Toner, as well as his final batter in the game. MacCarthy replaced him and struck out Rucker to end the inning. While the Raccoons bullpen was collecting the last outs from the Indians, achingly and creakingly, and with Joel Davis surrendering a 2-out RBI double to Jackson in the ninth inning despite the Indians hitting Alvin Smith in the inning without feeling the least of shame, the Raccoons blankly stared into the reality of being about shut out by a 27-year old first-time starter with not the least pedigree. He would not get it, but it was more of the Indians being cautious rather than the Coons actually putting a run on him. Drilling Hugo Mendoza to start the bottom 9th was a bad move, and after Rockwell’s groundout moved Mendoza to second, the Indians sent Jerry Counts to collect the last two outs, please. Graves grounded out, moving Mendoza to third, after which Danny Rice batted for Olivares. Hampered, he still knocked a grounder over second base and into center to get at least one run onto the board before Sam Armetta grounded out to Ventura to end the game. 5-1 Indians. Bullock 2-4; Rice (PH) 1-1, RBI;

With the Titans soaring and at 30-11 being far and away the best team in baseball, the Raccoons were now already ten games out in the division.

Nothing that came unexpected, but ugh, is it really another 123 games? And then probably nine years to be competitive again…

Game 4
IND: LF Otero – 3B J. Jackson – 1B M. Rucker – RF C. Martinez – CF Genge – C J. White – SS Rolland – 2B Matias – P Alva
POR: SS Bullock – 2B Spencer – 3B Nunley – LF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – RF Graves – CF Stevenson – C Jones – P Kelly

In lieu of Cookie, Daniel Bullock in the first inning singled, stole second base, advanced on White’s throwing error, and came home on Nunley’s sac fly. Kelly however continued to be shaky throughout, and the Indians quickly tagged him, with Justin Jackson blasting a 2-run shot in the third inning. Rucker and Martinez hit singles right after that, sparking more fear of another huge inning, but the Indians’ Lowell Genge and Jamal White then actually made poor outs to keep the runners on base. But Kelly couldn’t get out of the pressure cooker. Jaylen Rolland and Raul Matias both ripped hard singles to begin the fourth inning, giving the Indians eight base hits in 3+ innings against Kelly. Alva bunted the runners over, and after a lengthy mound conference Kelly got Otero to foul out to Nunley, and Jackson struck out. Rucker’s leadoff single in the fifth ended up washed away in a double play, and in the bottom 5th the Raccoons actually showed signs of still playing the game. Graves’ leadoff walk put the tying run aboard even though the score felt more like 7-1 than 2-1, and Josh Stevenson singled to right. Oh if only that didn’t bring up the bottom of the order…! Isaiah Jones made his major league debut and had grossly struck out on a 3-2 pitch in the dirt his first time at the plate. This time he actually met a ball, but flew out softly to Genge in center. The Coons shrugged, had Kelly bunt, and put all their chits on Daniel Bullock, he of 81 at-bats and zero RBI. Bullock struck out.

The Indians had another two singles off Kelly in the sixth inning, and Rolland and Otero would both score on Jackson’s 2-out double into the leftfield corner. That was the 12th and final base hit off the horrendous Kelly in the game, put the Indians 4-1 on top, and brought Manobu Sugano in the game. He ended the inning with a K to Rucker, and the Raccoons somehow found a run in the bottom 6th. Spencer led off with an infield single, moved up on Nunley’s grounder to first, and scored when Mendoza singled up the middle. Gil Rockwell’s hurried double play ended that inning, but the tying runs were even on base in the bottom of the seventh, and with nobody out, thanks to singles by Graves and Stevenson! Alas, there was Jones again. Since Olivares needed the day off and Rice was not good for more than a quick PH appearance with the iffy wrist, Jones was asked to bunt; a double switch had already moved the pitcher’s slot into Rockwell’s. To my utter surprise, Jones couldn’t even get a bunt down, knocking a ball back to Alva for a double play, third-and-first …! And that was BEFORE ****ing Sam Armetta crashed a fastball for a 2-run bomb to center…

As exhaustion set in once more in a game tied at four in the seventh inning, the pitcher’s slot moved to the #1 hole in the eighth. Bullock had singled after the Armetta blast, but had been stranded by Spencer. Logan Sloan put two on in the eighth and the runners were in scoring position with two outs and Rucker up to bat. Brett Lillis was sent into the game in another double switch, with Armetta over to short and Pelles entering at second base. Pelles would immediately make himself more likeable by missing the chopper Rucker flailed into play on a 1-2 pitch and that eluded Pelles for a single to right, both runs scoring. Contrary to popular belief, the game was not lost (yet). Against Jerry Counts and Miguel Morales, both right-handers, the Coons rapped off four straight base hits in the bottom 8th, just in the wrong order. Mendoza homered before Pelles doubled, Graves hit an RBI single to tie the game at six, and Stevenson hit another single. After Jones whiffed, Armetta walked, loading the bags with two outs for … Lillis. Danny Rice to the rescue! And he struck out… The game was Bricker’s now, and Jaylen Rolland’s oddball 2-run homer in the top of the ninth put the Indians ahead AGAIN, now 7-6. But hey, in a game of crazy long balls, maybe we can fly in the Pope in time to hit a walkoff shot for us? The bottom 9th saw Tony Lino, another right-hander, pitching to Spencer to lead off. Jarod lined a double into center, putting the pressure on Lino and his 6.33 ERA right away. When Nunley rocked a single through Justin Jackson to allow Spencer to score with nobody out and to tie the game for the third time in as many innings, the park was well alive, sure that Mendoza would end the game before it could drag on another nine innings. Mendoza missed the first fastball, but didn’t miss the second one. Shot to right, high, deep, GONE!!!!! 9-7 Furballs!!! Bullock 2-4; Spencer 2-5, 2B; Mendoza 3-5, 2 HR, 4 RBI; Pelles 1-1, 2B; Graves 2-3, BB, RBI; Stevenson 4-4; Armetta 1-1, BB, HR, 2 RBI;

The walkoff shot not only spared Noah Bricker a loss, it gave him the win instead. It was his fifth on the season, and he led the team by two thus. Both Toner and Guerrero tied for second with three W’s…

Raccoons (20-20) vs. Thunder (19-22) – May 20-22, 2022

Somewhat surprisingly, this was the top-ranked team in terms of runs scored in the Continental League. The Thunder were pouring out 5.4 runs per game on their opponents, which was nothing anybody had seen coming necessarily, given that they had finished not only dead last in their division in 2021, but also dead last in offense in the league with only 3.7 runs per game, and the batting personnel was largely the same as the year before. On the other side of the coin they were only ninth in runs allowed, but this still left them room for a healthy +30 run differential, hinting at some bad luck in the first six weeks of the year that was surely going to rectify itself RIGHT NOW. The Coons had won the season series last year, eeking out a 5-4 tally.

Projected matchups:
Ricky Martinez (0-4, 7.56 ERA) vs. Franklin Alvarado (2-0, 3.72 ERA)
Travis Garrett (2-2, 5.00 ERA) vs. Jose Vigil (4-4, 6.65 ERA)
Bobby Guerrero (3-4, 4.71 ERA) vs. Bryan Hanson (5-3, 2.94 ERA)

Another southpaw drawing up on Sunday, and a finesse pitcher at that. Hanson had only 29 K in 70.1 innings this season, a hard-to-believe 3.7 K/9 rate for someone that seemed to be doing reasonably well overall. Maybe that .238 BABIP of his was helping, too…?

These two teams employed the top two players in the batting race in the Continental League, although only second-place Bobby Marshall (.365, 0 HR, 31 RBI) would see action in the series. The top batter in the CL, Cookie Carmona (.376, 0 HR, 15 RBI) was on the DL of course… Cookie would drop off the list due to insufficient plate appearances one day before being eligible to return from the DL.

Game 1
OCT: SS L. Rivera – LF Hollingsworth – 1B W. Madrid – RF Branch – 2B Becker – CF Bareford – 3B B. Marshall – C A. Baker – P Alvarado
POR: SS Bullock – LF Spencer – 3B Nunley – RF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – 2B Pelles – CF Stevenson – C Olivares – P Martinez

After two scoreless innings – already a rousing success for Ricky Martinez! – the Thunder would load the bases in the third inning on three singles. The first by Marshall was smacked hard into center, while the second, Adam Baker’s dropped into no man’s land in terrible blooping fashion. After Alvarado struck out trying to bunt in vain, Lorenzo Rivera beat Bullock just barely for a single to right, loading the bags for Steve Hollingsworth, who grounded sharply at Bullock, who turned two. Bullock would then reach second base to start the bottom 3rd thanks to Jeff Becker’s throwing error, but it took two outs to get him home, Mendoza singling up the middle. Rockwell also knocked a single to left, but Pelles struck out, keeping the score at 1-0. But, as the saying goes, a 1-0 lead with Ricky Martinez pitching was as good as no lead at all. The Critters failed to tack on, and Martinez failed to hold on, but it took the Thunder 14 outs to score a run until Adam Baker cracked a home run to left center in the fifth inning.

It started to rain soon after, and the Thunder were donated the fattest scoring chance in the sixth inning on Matt Nunley’s throwing error, misfiling Hollingsworth’s grounder into the seats along the first base line. That was a 2-base error in its own right, but it also shifted Lorenzo Rivera to third after his leadoff single. Willie Madrid popped out over the infield, and Ezra Branch chopped a pitch near the third base line. With Martinez pouncing, Rivera ran 35 feet before turning back hurriedly, also causing Hollingsworth to rapidly reverse course from second base. Martinez didn’t know where to throw, ultimately threw nowhere, and Branch had an infield single to load the bags. This brought up the switch-hitting Becker, who was weak to lefties, and who was likely Martinez’ last batter regardless of the outcome of the at-bat, except if Martinez could find another double play. He couldn’t – walking in a run with four wide ones to Becker before the heavy rain forced a delay of almost an hour. Play would resume eventually, Joel Davis inheriting the bases still stacked in a 2-1 deficit. He allowed all runs to score on ex-Coon Andy Bareford’s 2-run single to right and Marshall’s groundout, dumping the Coons down 5-1, three runs total being earned on Martinez. The Raccoons to their credit would creep back into the game, albeit slowly. Scott McLaughlin’s 2-out walk to Bullock in the seventh was followed by Spencer ramming an RBI double into the leftfield corner, and Rockwell tagged the southpaw McLaughlin for a solo homer the following inning, getting the team back to 5-3, and Stevenson came up with a 2-out single in the eighth that scared he Thunder enough to bring in auxiliary closer (2 SV) Manny Gomez, a right-hander. Olivares grounded out, and proper closer Ryan Corkum appeared in the ninth inning. For the statheads: Noah Bricker had finished the ninth inning and could get his sixth win here. Graves batted for him leading off, grounded out, but Bullock took a 3-2 pitch to left for a single. After Spencer singled up the middle, the tying runs were on base, and left-handers to oppose Corkum were coming up, as were the home fans, standing, clapping their paws and shouting obscenities at “Dorkum”. It didn’t work – Matt Nunley smacked a ball to Becker, who turned two to end the game. 5-3 Thunder. Spencer 3-5, 2B, RBI; Rockwell 2-4, HR, RBI;

Game 2
OCT: SS L. Rivera – 1B W. Madrid – C Pizzo – RF Branch – 3B B. Marshall – CF Bareford – 2B Riley – LF Hollingsworth – P Vigil
POR: 2B Spencer – CF Stevenson – 3B Nunley – LF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – RF Graves – C Olivares – SS Armetta – P Garrett

After his good outing on Monday, Garrett was battered right in the first inning, with Mike Pizzo lifting a 2-run homer outta here. Granted, half of that was unearned, given that Willie Madrid had reached on a throwing error by Olivares. There was a quick reversal of fortunes, though, as Vigil made a throwing error himself to put Spencer on board to begin the Coons’ half of the first. After Stevenson flew out to left center, Nunley and Mendoza hit back-to-back blasts to right-ish center to flip the score, 3-2 for the Coons. That was not all, though, with Rockwell and Graves drawing walks and scoring on a liner that Sam Armetta rammed off the fence in right with two outs, giving Garrett a 5-2 lead. Both teams stranded a pair in the second inning without scoring, and the top 3rd began with Madrid singling to center. Garrett responded with nicking Pizzo bring up the tying run, but Branch hit into a fat double play to Spencer, who also caught a liner by Bobby Marshall to end the inning. Vigil would not make it out of the bottom 3rd; after Ezequiel Olivares’ first home run of the year made this a 6-2 game, he allowed singles to Garrett and Spencer, walked Stevenson, and then balked in another run. Alex Vallejo replaced him in the 7-2 game and got Nunley to pop out to end the inning.

Up by five, this was Tragic Travis’ game to lose, and he quickly set out to make a bid. The Thunder had another leadoff single in the fourth, and Garrett then walked ex-Coon Jason Seeley, batting a sad-sack .128, with two outs in the inning. Rivera’s drive to right was contained by Graves, stranding yet another pair. The Thunder brought up the tying run in the fifth inning; Ezra Branch had hit a 2-out double and scored on Marshall’s single. Bareford singled, John Riley walked, all with two outs, to bring up Hollingsworth. Garrett would face him, but by blunderbuss was loaded and cocked. Hollingsworth chopped the first pitch in play, right in front of home plate, a convenient high bouncer perfectly playable for Olivares, who retired him at first base by 45 feet, keeping the score at 7-3. The Critters got the run back in the bottom of the inning against left-hander Jeff Kearney, who walked Armetta before allowing a 2-run triple to Spencer.

Garrett was still in the game in the sixth, which probably constituted gross negligence to the team as a whole, but we were also seeking to protect the bullpen, and it was a ****ing 5-run lead! When Rivera and Madrid both knocked 1-out singles, there was no longer a way to reasonably protect the pen, though. Three left-handers were next, and Garrett was just ****. MacCarthy replaced Garrett, but both runs scored anyway on Pizzo’s groundout and then Branch’s double to center, bringing the Thunder closer, 8-5, and we were far from done. Logan Sloan was in the game in the seventh, was not particularly fooling batters, and Hollingsworth hit a 2-run double. Worse than that, R.J. DeWeese pinch-hit in the #9 hole in that spot. He had only 25 at-bats, but had batted .400 in those, with two homers. He jacked his third right here on a 2-2 pitch, and the lead was down to a single run. Not that the other pen was any better. Bottom 7th, Olivares and Armetta singled off Manny Gomez. Two fly outs later, Josh Stevenson laced a 2-run triple into the rightfield corner, getting the Critters into double digits, and we had another pair aboard in the bottom 8th when Olivares grounded to Marshall for an inning-ending double play. The ninth was Lillis’, starting with Marshall at the plate, and Cookie’s fiercest challenger raked a double to right on a 3-2 pitch. Lillis struck out a 3-for-4 Bareford (who had been exchanged with DeWeese for Stevenson prior to 2021), Riley grounded out to Nunley, but Hollingsworth cracked an RBI double to left. Before I could lose my last marble, Adam Baker grounded out, ending this madness. 10-8 Raccoons. Spencer 2-5, 3B, RBI; Stevenson 2-3, BB, 3B, 2 RBI; Rice (PH) 1-1; Olivares 2-5, HR, RBI; Armetta 2-3, BB, 2B, 2 RBI;

So Tragic Travis has as many W’s as Toner now. Oh well, I am sure it will all shake out fine eventually…

We faced the southpaw Hanson in the rubber game, but we’d be without Nunley and Mendoza. Both needed a day off at some point, and this was gonna be it.

Also, I would appreciate if the crew could stop giving hits to Marshall. Cookie can’t defend himself right now! He was actually the leading hitter in all of the ABL right now due to SAC Pablo “Vulture” Sanchez having fallen into a horrible slump since ending his 22-game hitting streak a week ago. He had gone hitless in four of his last seven games and had dropped to a .367 clip. How average! Puny! Revoke his Player of the Year belt!

Game 3
OCT: SS L. Rivera – 1B W. Madrid – C Pizzo – RF Branch – 2B Becker – 3B B. Marhsall – CF Seeley – LF Hollingsworth – P Hanson
POR: 3B Bullock – LF Spencer – RF Graves – 1B Rockwell – 2B Pelles – C Rice – CF Stevenson – SS Armetta – P Guerrero

The little Zack that could jumped a 410-footer in the first inning to give Guerrero a 1-0 lead. Bobby wasn’t really all that careful with it; the Thunder would have the leadoff man on base every inning after the Coons moved ahead, and somehow always stopped at third base. In the third (Hollingsworth) and fourth (Pizzo) innings they even hit leadoff doubles, and still couldn’t score. A bad bunt hampered them in the third, and Marshall cocked a ball hard to Armetta for an inning-ending double play in the fourth. At least the bottom of the order went down 1-2-3 in the fifth… Rivera would reach on a drag bunt to start the sixth, but was also stranded, and yes, technically the Raccoons were still batting, but they weren’t really hitting. Bullock hit a leadoff single in the bottom 6th, which was the most outrageous scoring opportunity for the home team in a while, at least until Daniel got caught stealing. Danny Rice hit a double with two outs in the seventh, but Stevenson grounded out.

What to do with Guerrero? Hollingsworth was due to lead off the eighth inning, and Guerrero was on 98 pitches with a 3-hitter. Of course, he wouldn’t complete the game with the skinny 1-0 lead, but when was the right time to make the move to the pen? The Thunder would cart up right-pitcher-right in the inning, but Rivera had already been an open sore for Guerrero, and the pitcher was prone to be hit for, and **** all this, bring “Bloody” Bricker. Noah threw four pitches, with three soft balls snipped at Ruben Pelles, who handled two of them before Rivera’s bouncer vanished through his zipper and was never seen again. The error brought up the go-ahead run in Madrid, still a right-handed batter, except that the Thunder were cocky and sent DeWeese to pinch-hit. Lilliiiiiis!! We need ya over here! DeWeese ran a full count before popping out to Isaiah Jones, who entered with Lillis in a double switch, his second career appearance and probably his last now that Rice was healthy again. Armetta hit a leadoff double in the bottom 8th, pulling up Jones with a man in scoring position, but he became the first of three consecutive Critters to ground out to Bobby Marshall. So it was Lillis on his own in the ninth, with Adam Baker pinch-hitting for the left-handed Pizzo and striking out anyway. Then things got icky. Branch singled softly to left, and Becker singled much less softly to center. Two on, one out, Marshall up, the perfect nightmare, except that Marshall struck out and that brought up Jason Seeley, all 119 points of batting average of him. And Lillis walked him. While I was gasping for air and Maud did her best to keep the oxygen mask on my snout, Hollingsworth came to bat, a .301 righty. Lillis sneezed him out. 1-0 Blighters. Bullock 2-4; Graves 2-3, HR, RBI; Armetta 1-2, BB, 2B; Guerrero 7.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 3 K, W (4-4);

Hugo Mendoza did not appear in this game (neither did Nunley), so there are no more Coons that have made appearances in all games in 2022. Part of the lack of either of those two moving their striped tails into the batter’s box was that the Raccoons never managed to knock out Hanson, who went all eight innings, and we never hit for a reliever.

In other news

May 16 – Condors and Knights fail to score in regulation, but three straight base hits off ATL CL Harry Merwin (2-3, 2.70 ERA, 8 SV) in the top of the 10th inning win the game for the Condors, 1-0.
May 17 – NAS 3B/2B Tony Fuentes (.308, 4 HR, 16 RBI) might miss most of the remaining season, if not all of it, with a torn back muscle.
May 21 – The Scorpions romp the Capitals, 11-6, with Sacramento’s Justin McAllester (.363, 6 HR, 28 RBI) smashing five hits, including a home run and a double, and driving in four.
May 21 – Is this news? SFB OF Dave Garcia (.236, 1 HR, 6 RBI) is back to the DL with shoulder tendinitis and might return for a few games before getting hurt again in about three weeks’ time.
May 22 – LAP OF Mario Diaz (.241, 2 HR, 20 RBI) is down with an oblique strain and won’t return until the middle of June.
May 22 – NYC MR Ed Hague (0-1, 3.38 ERA) walks in Rick Farmer to concede a 4-3 walkoff win to the Falcons in the 17th inning. This was the 25-year-old Hague’s second career appearance.

Complaints and stuff

Hugo Mendoza was named Player of the Week in the Continental League, batting 10-21 (.476) with 4 HR and 7 RBI. So there was at least that. Funnily enough, our part-time backup infielder from last year, Adam Zuhlke, batted 10-16 (.625) with 2 HR and 8 RBI for the Blue Sox to win the title in the Federal League.

Rockwell’s ultimately pointless home run on Friday marked the 400th of his career. As pointed out previously, he hit 362 for the Knights, 31 for the Scorpions last year, and now seven for the Critters.

With Guerrero and Toner both taking losses during the week, Noah Bricker remained the team leader in wins, which is … what the **** do I know what this is!? It’s in the same category as Logan Sloan stubbornly clinging to a top 3 position in strikeouts on the team. There are no words for such stuff…

At his current pace, Sloan would strike out at least 100 batters in this season, though, unless we can trade him for a barrel of Gaytirade and a bag of baseballs at the deadline.

Meanwhile the Erickson problem has blossomed into him clearing waivers, no team touching him with a 30-foot pole, and him refusing an assignment to AAA. It could be worse (we could be talking about Rockwell…), because Erickson is only due $770k this year and has not completed six years of service time and there is no commitment to him in 2023. Unless I can trade him (chances: slim to none) for some other skunk, we are probably going to release him next week.

Talking about AAA, Tim Stalker is batting .160 since being sent back there. Good stuff. Good stuff.

Fun Fact: Gil Rockwell is a Brownian player in that he was taken deep down in the amateur draft. The Scorpions originally drafted him in the 2006 draft in the ninth round, 224th overall. He was eventually released by them before being picked up by the Knights in ’08.

One of the most successful ninth-round picks (in a group with Chris Mathis, Gil McDonald, and Claudio Salazar) the Raccoons ever made could well be Nick Lester, who at least managed to pitch in a crucial spot in a second tie-breaker game in his career.

How did that go? Maud!? – How did the second tie-breaker with the Loggers end two years ago? – Oh right.

(embraces himself while slowly rocking back and forth)

[Westheim]

DOUBLE WHAMMY!!

+++

Raccoons (22-21) @ Condors (19-23) – May 23-25, 2022

This was the tail end of our current string of games, with an off day waiting for us on Thursday. The Condors were a bit of the 1980s Indians, not scoring, but also not allowing any scoring. They were allowing the fewest runs, but were also scoring the fewest. Their batting was however more putrid than their pitching was strong – they had a -16 run differential. The terribly average Raccoons’ was -13. The 2021 season series had gone to the Condors, 5-4.

Projected matchups:
Jonathan Toner (3-3, 3.69 ERA) vs. Jose Menendez (3-3, 3.34 ERA)
Frank Kelly (2-2, 3.49 ERA) vs. Rafael Cuenca (2-1, 4.02 ERA)
Ricky Martinez (0-5, 7.22 ERA) vs. Jim Bryant (4-3, 2.57 ERA)

After facing three southpaws last week, the Coons would not get one in this series. The Condors had no left-handed starters at all, while the Raccoons would probably be better off by turning Ricky Martinez into a right-handed pitcher with a professional surgical cut by means of a chainsaw. Even lacking means in AAA, Martinez was probably forced to do good this time or get deleted from the roster.

Game 1
POR: SS Bullock – 2B Spencer – 3B Nunley – LF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – RF Graves – CF Romero – P Toner
TIJ: 3B B. Rojas – 1B McNeal – C Sanford – CF Jamieson – LF Boggs – SS Read – RF Abraham – 2B B. Torres – P Menendez

The Raccoons scored two in the second inning, and had a third run thrown out at the plate by Matt Jamieson. Rockwell homered, and the runners kept coming. Rice walked, Graves singled, and Romero lined a double into the rightfield corner, Rice scored. Toner lifted a ball to center, Jamieson had it, Graves was sent, but thrown out. Jonny Toner struggled with control in the game, reaching three walks before he struck out three, which was major news under any circumstances. This included a 2-out walk to Menendez in the second inning, and then he drilled Andy McNeal to start the third inning. This was followed by Pat Sanford driving a ball high and hard to left. Mendoza raced back, reached the fence, leapt, and picked the ball off the top of the fence. That ball aside, the Condors didn’t have much to show for at the plate at all, amounting to a sole hit through five innings.

Top of the sixth, Spencer led off with a hard single to left. Nunley looped a ball up the rigthfield line. Craig Abraham had to go back to play it, but Spencer shied around third base and returned to the bag, bringing up Mendoza with runners on second and third and no outs. Mendoza was 0-for-2 with 2 K, and for all the sucking he could do with runners in scoring position, whiffing thrice in a game was not his style. The Condors knew that, too, and they also knew that they could ill afford damage. They walked him intentionally, even though that meant bringing up Rockwell with the bags packed. Too bad Menendez fell 3-1 behind Sluggin’ Gil, then threw him a lazy pitch that Rockwell ticked to left center for an RBI single. Rice also singled into center, scoring another run, and Zach Graves extinguished Menendez with a 2-run double, 6-0. Romero was walked intentionally, and Toner faced right-hander Eduardo Valdez with the bases loaded, cracking a hard grounder to right that eluded the sliding McNeal for a 2-run single. Only Bullock made the first out, but the Coons would also only get one more run on a Nunley groundout, giving Toner a 9-0 spot. Well, he ain’t Garrett – that should be plenty. On the other hand, he was also on 81 pitches, and probably would not get past seven, if that far. He didn’t make it that far, being replaced after six and two thirds and 104 pitches. Craig Abraham laced a triple with one out in the bottom 7th. Bobby Torres grounded to third base, where Nunley made a good play while keeping the runner pinned, but after that Omar Larios batted in the pitcher’s spot, meaning the next three batters were now all left-handed. Quinn MacCarthy and Ruben Pelles entered in a double switch (with Graves out of the game) and one got Larios to ground to the other to end the inning. The Condors would remain denied, but the Coons would put two more runs on William Hinkley in the eighth inning to turn the game into a double digit rout. 11-0 Raccoons! Bullock 2-5, 2B; Spencer 2-5, RBI; Nunley 3-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Rockwell 3-5, HR, 2B, 2 RBI; Rice 2-4, BB, 2B, RBI; Graves 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Toner 6.2 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 7 K, W (4-3) and 1-3, 2 RBI;

There was a roster move after the game, with Isaiah Jones demoted back to AAA. Dwayne Metts was called up for the week or so until Cookie would come off the DL.

Game 2
POR: SS Bullock – 2B Spencer – 3B Nunley – LF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – RF Graves – CF Stevenson – P Kelly
TIJ: 3B B. Rojas – 1B McNeal – C Sanford – RF Larios – CF Jamieson – LF Boggs – SS Read – 2B B. Torres – P Cuenca

Through five, there was no score in the middle game, with Kelly spilling three base hits and Cuenca allowing four. Those came in pairs, but the Raccoons would do badly with runners on the corners; Rockwell struck out in the first, ending their attempt then, and Mendoza unhelpfully struck out with men on the corners and one out in the third inning before Rockwell again ended the inning with a grounder to third base. The Furballs would have men on the corners again in the sixth, although in a slightly complicated way. Nunley hit a leadoff single, then advanced on a wild pitch. In an unfavorable count and with a guy in scoring position, the Condors would not pitch to Mendoza and preferred to face Rockwell with two on. Rockwell promptly grounded to short, but Howard Read’s feed to Bobby Torres was sub par and it cost the Condors the double play. Rice knocked the first pitch he saw past a diving Torres into right, RBI single, first run in the game. Rockwell went to third, scoring from there on Zach Graves’ single that dropped right in front of Robby Boggs. Kelly didn’t cope well with a 2-0 lead; after striking out to end the top 6th, the Condors ticked two hard base hits off him with two outs in the bottom 6th; Sanford singled, Larios doubled, Jamieson had the tying runs in scoring position, but popped out over the infield. While Bullock’s leadoff single and stolen base in the seventh would not lead to a run, Rockwell’s leadoff double in the eighth did. Stevenson got a grounder through between Torres and McNeal to plate him with two outs, upping the score to 3-0. There was an unearned chance to score more runs in the ninth against Jayden Reed, who allowed a bloop single to Nunley with two down before Torres mishandled Mendoza’s grounder for an error. Rockwell would strike out, stranding runners once again. Kelly was on 99 pitches through eight, but maybe had a bit left while Lillis had thrown 56 pitches between Saturday and Sunday and wouldn’t hurt getting another day off. Omar Larios opened the bottom 9th by flying out to (fairly deep) centerfield before Kelly lost Jamieson in a full count. Boggs grounded to Nunley, but not hard enough to turn two; Nunley only got the lead runner. Howard Read’s fly to center would not challenge Stevenson – Kelly nailed down the shutout. 3-0 Raccoons. Spencer 2-5, 2B; Nunley 3-5; Rice 2-3, BB, RBI; Kelly 9.0 IP, 6 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 4 K, W (3-2);

This was Frank Kelly’s 18th career complete game and fifth shutout, and it was the first in either category as a Raccoon. All other accolades had come with the Gold Sox.

The Raccoons did have something else, however: three consecutive shutouts! We most recently had conceded a run in the ninth inning on Sunday, giving the team 27 consecutive shutout innings.

Game 3
POR: SS Bullock – 2B Spencer – 3B Nunley – LF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – RF Graves – C Olivares – CF Metts – P Martinez
TIJ: SS B. Rojas – LF Larios – CF Jamieson – C Sanford – 1B McNeal – RF Boggs – 2B Read – 3B B. Torres – P Bryant

In his 39th game and 103rd at-bat of the season, Daniel Bullock would get his first RBI in 2022, singling home Dwayne Metts with two outs in the third inning for the first run in the game. And it was only two innings, but two scoreless innings was already a huge success for Martinez given how desperately bad he had been for the entire season to this point; for the last four games, he had conceded a run per inning on average, which was not quite a sustainable rate. He got around a leadoff walk to Read in the third inning, but the Coons’ shutout streak would end at 30 innings. Omar Larios romped a leadoff triple in the fourth inning, and it would be hard for Jonny Toner to wiggle out of such a spot, but for Martinez it was just impossible. Matt Jamieson hit a clean single to right center to score the run without much fuss, tying the game at one.

The Raccoons’ offensive attempts usually ended in double plays in the middle innings. Rockwell and Nunley hit into those two-for-one beasts in the fourth and sixth innings, respectively, while Martinez somehow held on to the tie despite a Larios double in the bottom of the sixth inning. Jamieson grounded out, and Sanford’s fly to left could not challenge Mendoza seriously. The Condors got McNeal on with a leadoff single in the seventh, but then hit into three groundball outs, the first two of those being force plays at second base. So three different Condors were on base in the inning – but they were all on the same base and never advanced. There was no significant offense in the next two innings, with Martinez being hit for in the top of the eighth and thus removed for a no-decision, and the game went into overtime. There, Quinn MacCarthy logged one third of an inning in the 10th before leaving with an injury, so that was that; and the Raccoons still couldn’t find their asses in the dark. Sloan, MacCarthy, Bricker all managed scoreless outings, but Cory Dew wouldn’t, issuing a 1-out walk to Read in the 12th inning, throwing a wild pitch to advance the winning run to scoring position, and then incurring the loss on Kurt Evans’ doubled laced past Graves into the rightfield corner. 2-1 Condors. Bullock 2-5, RBI; Martinez 7.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 2 K;

Maybe it’s better if Daniel Bullock does NOT drive in any runs? Bad luck charm, is there such a thing?

Quinn MacCarthy was diagnosed with a back strain and disabled by Thursday. He would most likely not miss more than two weeks’ time. The Raccoons called up a debutee by Friday, adding 23-year old southpaw David Kipple from the Alley Cats. Kipple had 10 K in 9.1 innings in St. Petersburg and had walked only three batters. He had a 1.93 ERA. He had been a third-round pick by the Canadiens in 2016, but had been released a few years later. The Raccoons had signed him in March of 2020, indicating that he didn’t have much value at that point.

Raccoons (24-22) @ Aces (21-26) – May 27-29, 2022

The Aces were in a rut, having dropped their last five games. Offense was normally not an issue for them, as they were in the top 3 in runs scored in the Continental League, but their pitchng was pretty dismal. They had the worst rotation in the CL (yes, it gets worse than the Coons’), and their decent bullpen couldn’t do much beyond damage control. In all but one of the games of their losing streak they had allowed at least seven runs, and the damage had been as bad as 14 in a rout at the hands of the Crusaders on Wednesday. The season series stood in favor of the Aces, 2-1.

Projected matchups:
Travis Garrett (3-2, 5.23 ERA) vs. Colin Peay (0-1, 5.33 ERA)
Bobby Guerrero (4-4, 4.13 ERA) vs. Chris Wickham (4-2, 2.87 ERA)
Jonathan Toner (4-3, 3.33 ERA) vs. Sergio Aredondo (4-3, 5.81 ERA)

The southpaw Wickham was more or less their only candle left alight in the darkest night, and as the saying goes, something in the night is dangerous. Peay was swinging between the pen and rotation, wasn’t helpful in either role, and then they had a few former starters in their bullpen that could barely lift a ball these days, let alone throw it, in Juan Valdevez and Nem Jones. Both were 36, Jones was the chief reason that the Raccoons had not been in the World Series in 12 years, and neither had anything left in his right arm.

Game 1
POR: SS Bullock – 2B Spencer – 3B Nunley – LF Mendoza – RF Graves – C Rice – 1B Pelles – CF Stevenson – P Garrett
LVA: CF Serrano – 3B Navarro – RF D. Brown – SS A. Medina – C Spears – LF Curro – 2B Hebberd – 1B Gartner – P Peay

Travis Garrett ****ed up right in the first inning. The Aces got Jose Navarro on with a 1-out single, which was all dandy. With two outs, however, Garrett completely lost what little skill he had to begin with, walked three straight batters, allowed a 2-run single to Bill Hebberd, and then walked John Gartner. Stevenson threw himself into the way of Colin Peay’s liner to center to end the inning, three runs across, three stranded on two singles and four walks. The Critters had precious little going in terms of offense in the first three innings, but got Danny Rice to the plate with Graves aboard in the fourth inning. Rice CRUSHED a pitch by Colin Peay that disappeared behind the batter’s eye and was hard to measure, but was estimated at a whopping 440 feet. This closed the gap to 3-2, because Tragic Travis had – totally out of character – stopped bleeding runs from his lady zone in the meantime. But let’s not be too harsh to the kid. At least he was a semi-decent batter with two outs, and certainly a better one than Dumbo Mendoza. The Raccoons would get Pelles on Stevenson on base with two outs; Pelles raced for third on Stevenson’s single, drew a throw, but was well safe. Stevenson advanced in his slipstream. Garrett thus batted with runners on second and third and two outs, and cracked a Peay pitch up the middle and into centerfield for a score-flipping 2-run single, 4-3. That wasn’t all to the inning! Bullock walked, and then Spencer shoved a ball into the leftfield corner for a 2-run triple, but at that point it was sure all for Peay, who was replaced by the not well-aged Valdevez, who got ticketed for an RBI single by Matt Nunley, and only that was the final note in the Coons’ 7-run fourth inning.

Now, a 7-3 lead was sweet and all, but there was one caveat: Travis Garrett had not only driven in two and had scored a run, no, he had also found back to the dugout without being abducted, had not slipped on the stairs, and hadn’t choked on birdseed either, so he was back in the mound, and technically this was only the fourth inning, still. Now, to be fair to a guy, who did his best – the Aces would not get a base runner in the fourth or the fifth, but there was a certain kind of acrobatics going on with the defenders that I didn’t like to see on a grass field and much less so on turf. Actually, Garrett was the next guy to drop in a single, doing so with one out in the sixth inning. Bullock walked, and with two down Matt Nunley crushed a 3-piece that gave the Raccoons a 10-3 lead. Nevertheless, the train for a genuinely good outing for Garrett had long departed and was in the next state over, and Garrett was on 93 pitches through five innings thanks to an equal amount of walks issued early on. It’s just like when your six-year-old draws a ‘dog’. The ugly creature looks nothing like a dog, your actual dog is highly insulted by the disfigured creature on paper, and you still pin the beast on the fridge until quietly throwing it out two weeks later – keep the peace and keep going. Errol Spears hit a leadoff jack off Garrett in the bottom of the sixth. Garrett got his pat on the back from the pitching coach as David Kipple came from the pen to make his major league debut, and while I was hating Garrett intensely from my place near the most conveniently located place in the park that had booze. Kipple faced three batters, retired one, but Joel Davis changed his diapers with minimal disturbances, and the Aces remained behind by six, a gap that grew to eight in the top of the seventh against Michael Sieben’s inept stickballing. Four unearned runs fell out of Danny Lobato in the ninth inning. Lobato also drilled Sugano with two outs when we didn’t want to use another reliever and sent him to bat instead. Barely worse for wear, he retired the Aces in order in the bottom 9th, logging four outs total in the double-digit rout. 16-4 Furballs!! Bullock 2-5, BB, RBI; Spencer 2-6, 3B, 2 RBI; Nunley 3-6, HR, 5 RBI; Graves 2-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Rice 3-6, HR, 2 RBI; Pelles 2-3, 3 BB, RBI; Sloan 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

Mendoza and Stevenson were our only players in the starting nine that didn’t collect two hits, but both collected one. We had 18 base knocks in total.

Suddenly, we also have a positive run differential, +12 after two routs in our favor this week.

Game 2
POR: SS Bullock – LF Spencer – RF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – 3B Nunley – C Olivares – CF Stevenson – 2B Armetta – P Guerrero
LVA: CF Serrano – 3B Navarro – RF D. Brown – SS A. Medina – 2B Moroyoqui – LF Curro – C T. Perez – 1B Gartner – P Wickham

Trampled and with singe marks on their uniforms, the Aces nevertheless showed up for the Saturday game. Three singles off Guerrero gave them a 2-0 lead in the bottom of the second inning, but after Wickham walked Sam Armetta to start the top of the third inning, Jesus Moroyoqui capitally threw away Guerrero’s bunt, putting the tying runs in scoring position with nobody out, but the Raccoons would not progress past Bullock’s sac fly this time. Danny Serrano’s leadoff double, two walks, no stuff at all, and then Corey Curro’s sharp bouncer clearly beating Bullock into centerfield for another two runs put Guerrero into a 4-1 hole in the bottom of the inning.

Top 5th, Guerrero bunted Stevenson (walk) and Armetta (single) into scoring position, bringing up Bullock with one out. Slowly, slowly, the kid appeared to turn into a slugger, his liner to left scoring two and giving him five RBI for the season after he had not had any just a scant few days earlier. He was also the tying run on base and due to some quick legwork scored easily on Jarod Spencer’s gapper that got away from both Dan Brown and Danny Serrano for long enough to give Spencer an RBI triple. Mendoza singled hard to right, giving Guerrero a 5-4 lead that he somehow nursed through six, only for Cory Dew to get paws on it in the seventh inning. Dew threw only five pitches, but that was enough for the Aces’ top of the order to hit a single and two doubles, taking a 6-5 lead. The further falling-apart was left to Joel Davis, who replaced a swiftly-yanked Dew only to walk the bases full, allowing the Aces to get another run home on Tony Perez’ sac fly. The Raccoons took a while to shake that out of their fur, but Stevenson would draw a leadoff walk off southpaw Alex Morin in the ninth inning, bringing up the tying run in Sam Armetta – except that Ruben Pelles hit for him … and right into a double play. Who claimed that ****er off waivers!? Who was it!!?? Graves flew out to center to end the game in defeat. 7-5 Aces. Stevenson 0-1, 3 BB;

I remember the good ol’ days when we had some meaningful pitching that wouldn’t collapse every single ****ing day.

Game 3
POR: SS Bullock – 2B Spencer – 3B Nunley – LF Mendoza – C Rice – 1B Rockwell – RF Graves – CF Stevenson – P Toner
LVA: CF Serrano – 3B Navarro – RF D. Brown – SS A. Medina – 2B Moroyoqui – LF Curro – C T. Perez – 1B Gartner – P Aredondo

Toner got spotted two before he ever took the mound, with Bullock leading off the game with a double to right center, scoring on Nunley’s sac fly, and then Mendoza let his 11th homer of the season soar over the fence in leftfield. Rice and Rockwell both singled after that, but Graves grounded out to Jesus Momo- … Moyo- … Moto- … the second baseman. Moroyoqui opened the second inning with a single to right center, then tried to take off Bullock’s legs in a play on second base when Curro grounded to short. That broke up a double play, and also took Toner’s lead apart. He had no strikeouts at this point, and would get one until bringing up the pitcher with one out and the bases loaded following a walk to Tony Perez and a Gartner single. Aredondo’s K was only the second out in the inning, and Danny Serrano grounded a ball through the completely immobile Rockwell for a 2-run single. Fortunes would reverse once more in the third inning, with Graves finding Rice and Rockwell aboard and cranking a 3-run homer to right.

This just was not a series for pitchers, and Toner was no exception. The probable future Hall of Famer struggled just as badly as everybody else, found no stuff in his arsenal, and loaded the bases with the tying runs in the bottom of the fourth inning, and that with no outs. Curro, Perez, and Gartner singled in order, and Bill Hebberd pinch-hit for Aredondo, who had allowed a handful and the Aces had deemed that well enough. Toner acknowledged freely to the pitching coach that he had nothing going, but that was probably relatively speaking, hopefully, we thought, maybe. Toner having nothing was the best day Damani Knight could ever have hoped for! Hebberd fouled out. Serrano struck out. Navarro was down 0-2 when he stuck his ass across the plate and was hit by Toner. The Raccoons protested furiously, to no avail, and Matt Nunley raced off with the third base umpire’s lunch box and consumed the contents while loudly bickering from the top of the nearest dugout. The run counted anyway, and the inning only ended on Dan Brown’s fly to Graves, 5-3 after four. That became 5-4 in the next inning, Andres Medina singling, stealing, sleezing, scoring – the latter two on Rice’s throwing error on the stolen base attempt and Toner’s wild pitch. When Toner was one ****ty bloop removed from being yanked before five innings would be complete, the Aces AND the baseball gods suddenly complied and Toner removed the next nine batters in a row.

Those were also his last nine. Stevenson hit a leadoff single in the top of the eighth in what was still a 5-4 game, and Toner yielded for Pelles, who was retired on a foul pop (.125 as a Critter!). Bullock singled, but Spencer hit to short for a double play. Bricker and Sugano would steer through the eighth inning for the Coons, who gave the ball to Lillis, still with the 1-run lead after basically doing nothing productive for the last six innings, although I sure wondered where all of the 14 base hits shown on the board had landed… Lillis had nothing better to do than walking the leadoff man, Serrano, in a full count, then ran another full count against Navarro, who swung over ball four. Dan Brown had eight home runs, but was also batting only .195 and had already stranded four runners in the game. He would not strand another one – hitting into a double play started by Bullock so no runners was left to waste. 5-4 Blighters. Bullock 3-5, 2B; Mendoza 2-5, HR, RBI; Rice 3-4, BB, 2B; Rockwell 2-4; Stevenson 2-4;

In other news

May 25 – WAS INF Dave Menth (.221, 5 HR, 14 RBI) is going to miss a month with a strained hamstring.
May 26 – CHA SP Doug Moffatt (6-1, 2.81 ERA) unfurls a 3-hit shutout against the Loggers, whiffing 10 in a 5-0 win.
May 26 – VAN CL Jeff Boynton (3-4, 5.18 ERA, 6 SV) walks four in the bottom 11th against the Knights, taking a 5-4 loss.
May 29 – The Thunder got some early hints that INF 2B/SS/CF Jeff Becker (.268, 4 HR, 28 RBI) was gravely injured when he was rolling around in the dirt, screaming, with his right foot pointing backwards. The 24-year old switch-hitter has suffered multiple fractures in his fibula in an on-base collision and is likely out until September, if he can come back this year at all.
May 29 – The Titans, who on Sunday are also rightly mauled by the Knights in a 17-0 drubbing, acquire 33-year old veteran RF/LF Kurt Evans (.309, 1 HR, 6 RBI) from the Condors for a pretend prospect.
May 29 – The Falcons claim a 6-4 walkoff win over the Indians on RF/LF Rick Farmer’s (.225, 3 HR, 9 RBI) come-from-behind walkoff slam off IND CL Tony Lino (4-5, 7.71 ERA, 10 SV). Farmer, who enters the game in a double switch, drives in five runs, homering in both of his at-bats.
May 29 – In one of the crazier games, The Stars beat the Rebels, 13-11 in ten innings. There are four 3-spots and a 6-spot in the game, and RIC 2B/3B Justin Cramer (.375, 1 HR, 8 RBI) and DAL INF Raul Maldonado (.367, 0 HR, 10 RBI) both knock four base hits.

Complaints and stuff

In things we should probably mention, Daniel Bullock has a 12-game hitting streak, not bad for a kid from Brazil that we signed basically for dinner for two at Portland’s finest steak shack.

Correct pronunciation guide: Jesus Moroyoqui’s surname goes Mo-ro-O-kee. Or just call him the moustached Venezuelan middle infielder. Works both.

Max Erickson was released on Tuesday after not accepting the assignment to AAA and with nobody willing to pick up the bill.

ABL CAREER STRIKEOUT LEADERS
46th – Salvador Fierro – 2,242
47th – Harry Griggs – 2,234
48th – Ernest Green – 2,229 – active
49th – Ramón Ortíz – 2,188
50th – Antonio Donis – 2,164 – HOF
51st – Jonathan Toner – 2,145 – active
t-52nd – Manuel Paredes – 2,144
t-52nd – Jorge Gine – 2,144 – active, on DL
54th – Bob King – 2,137 – active, free agent

The Mexican left-hander Fierro never crossed the Raccoons’ path much. Except for his final outing in 1996, his only appearance with the Loggers, Fierro made all of his 502 starts for the Blue Sox from 1980 through 1995. He won a Pitcher of the Year title in 1988, leading the FL with 20 wins, although his 2.25 ERA was not the top mark, and he never led the league in any major category during his career, although he would three times strike out the most batters across nine innings in the early parts of his career; in 1981, 7.4 whiffs per nine were enough for this achievement.

Harry Griggs was a workhorse … for as long as his right arm would hold up, which was not all that long; he last appeared in the major leagues in 2000, his age 32 season. From 1990 through 1997, Griggs would throw at least 250 innings every season, first for the Rebels and later for the Condors. By 1998, wear showed, and by 1999 tear as well. He signed with the Knights in 2000, but only managed 99 innings before a torn rotator cuff ended his season and also his career. He finished 177-128 with a 3.61 ERA and was the FL Pitcher of the Year in ‘94. Leading the league in innings five times, in strikeouts three times and in wins twice, Griggs got some decent Hall of Fame consideration for such a short-lived pitcher with a non-spectactular ERA, but then again never garnered more than 10% of the vote either.

Down the road, 37-year old Ernest Green will most likely be associated with the strong Pacifics teams from five to ten years ago, with whom he won championships in 2011, 2012, and 2016. He led the Federal League in WHIP three times during those years, but never was a top pitcher by ERA due to a propensity for surrendering long balls, leading the FL in the category in 2012. He is currently the closer for the Cyclones, getting his first nine career saves in that capacity so far. His career record is a low 177-121 and his 3.63 ERA will probably keep him out of the Hall of Fame anyway.

Ortíz was the 1993 Federal League Pitcher of the Year, going 21-5 with a 3.16 ERA for the Capitals, but he only whiffed 173 that season, quite a bit off his best mark of 198. 11 of his 17 seasons were spent with the Capitals and their early-90s dynasty that saw them in four consecutive World Series, winning the title twice, then once more in 1997. Ortíz, who ended up with a 209-152 record and 3.49 ERA would also pitch for the Gold Sox, Condors, Rebels, and Cyclones in the last six years of his career, but by then had lost most of his efficiency; he never achieved a winning record for a team not the Capitals. An All Star seven times, Ortíz was also known for his ability to keep walks to a minimum, with a 2.5 career BB/9 mark.

Fun fact: 1993 was not only Ramón Ortíz’s Pitcher of the Year season, it was also the third consecutive year for the Raccoons and Capitals to oppose another in the World Series. Ortíz would start Games 1, 4, and 7 for the Capitals, taking a win in the first start, a no-decision in the second, and a loss in the last one. Daniel Hall drove in the winning runs right in the first inning for the Raccoons’ still-most-recent championship.

(silence)

(stares blankly into the distance, a single tear running down the cheek)

[Westheim]

Raccoons (26-23) @ Knights (21-28) – May 30-June 1, 2022

There were things to like and things to hate on the Knights, who were second from the bottom in terms of runs scored, not doing well in any particular category. They were fourth in terms of runs allowed, but that came with an asterisk. Their rotation was the second-best in the league with an ERA just a whisker under three, but they had an incredibly decrepit bullpen that was posting an outrageous 5.62 ERA – far and away the worst mark in the league. But they were to be treated cautiously – just on Sunday, they had crushed the Titans in a 17-0 rout. The season series however had been all Coons so far, as we had swept them during our first meeting of the season.

Projected matchups:
Frank Kelly (3-2, 3.02 ERA) vs. Luis Hernandez (3-2, 3.41 ERA)
Ricky Martinez (0-5, 6.31 ERA) vs. Jonathan Ryan (3-2, 3.32 ERA)
Travis Garrett (4-2, 5.44 ERA) vs. Luis Flores (6-2, 1.39 ERA)

The left-hander Flores had the best ERA in the entire league, and was also their only left-hander. They had one significant injury in outfielder Marty Reyes, who had appeared in only 14 games so far this season and was laboring on a torn rib cage muscle ever since.

Oh happy day – Cookie Carmona came off the DL to begin this series and slotted right back in the leadoff slot, pushing Bullock to second, and the walk-resistant Jarod Spencer to the bottom of the order.

Game 1
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – 3B Nunley – RF Mendoza – C Rice – 1B Rockwell – 2B Spencer – CF Romero – P Kelly
ATL: CF Stuckey – SS T. Jimenez – 1B Herlihy – 3B Avalos – RF Fullerton – 2B Hibbard – C C. Ramirez – LF Folk – P L. Hernandez

Cookie returned with a leadoff single off Hernandez, but was quickly forced out on Bullock’s grounder to Devin Hibbard. Bullock however stole second base, then scored on Nunley’s single. Mendoza ran a 3-0 count before popping out, which was so great to see, and the Raccoons scored only the one run in the opening inning, but would get another one in the second inning when Ricardo Romero knocked his first home run as a Critter, a 2-out solo job to leftfield. It was not exactly smooth sailing however for Kelly, who had his first batter on base in the game; Johnny Stuckey took advantage of Gil Rockwell’s clumsiness for an infield single for a really, really undeserved infield single. Kelly got through that, then had runners on the corners in the second inning. A key strikeout to Brody Folk and Hernandez’ pop in foul ground bailed him out of that, and when Tony Jimenez singled in the third inning and Kelly drilled Trent Herlihy, but Tony Avalos hit into a double play.

Top 5th, Romero had an infield single leading off, and Kelly dropped down a bunt. It was a real dandy; Avalos had to hustle in at great speed, had to fire on the move, and missed Herlihy, badly. The throwing error put runners in scoring position with no outs for the top of the order. Cookie was up to the job, singled up the middle, and drove in the third run of the game; Kelly was held at third base, but would score on Nunley’s groundout later, giving Kelly a 4-0 lead. Rockwell would have two moments in the sun after that, first picking off Folk from first base after Stuckey lined right into his mitten in the bottom 5th, then homering off Hernandez in the top of the sixth, a solo job that was kindly acknowledged by the team whose insignia would once adorn his Hall of Fame plaque. Kelly maintained a shutout through six, getting another double play turned in the bottom 6th, but then loaded the bases with nobody out in the seventh. D.J. Fullerton’s double was followed by two walks. Folk popped out behind home plate, courtesy of Danny Rice, but that was it for Kelly. With the left-hander Joe Cowan pinch-hitting for Hernandez, Sugano replaced Kelly. Sugano extricated the Critters from the inning with only one run scoring on Cowan’s sac fly to right, and struck out Stuckey, maintaining a 5-1 lead, which Jarod Spencer extended to 7-1 in the eighth against left-hander Antonio Quintana. Finding Mendoza and Rockwell in scoring position, Spencer singled to right, scoring them both, but the bottom 8th brought more trouble. Cory Dew allowed a leadoff single to Jimenez and was swiftly replaced by David Kipple, who also didn’t seem inclined to retire anybody. He walked Herlihy, and Avalos singled; three on, no outs. Alas, the Knights wouldn’t score, although that required help from Noah Bricker. Kipple whiffed Fullerton, but then was replaced for the right-handers that approached. Bricker struck out Hibbard, and Chris Ramirez flew out to center. That was the last threat in the game. 7-1 Raccoons! Carmona 2-5, RBI; Rockwell 2-4, HR, 2B, RBI; Romero 3-4, HR, RBI; Bricker 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 1 K;

Game 2
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – 3B Nunley – RF Mendoza – C Rice – 1B Rockwell – CF Stevenson – 2B Armetta – P Martinez
ATL: RF Stuckey – LF Folk – C Luna – SS T. Jimenez – 1B Herlihy – 2B Hibbard – 3B Avalos – CF Cowan – P Ryan

Crowned by Tony Avalos’ 2-piece over the rightfield fence, the Knights poured five runs on Martinez right in the first inning. There was just no reasoning with this turd. Stuckey led off with a double, and the situation escalated from there. Ricky Martinez was never in command of any at-bat against anybody. This included the pitcher, Jonathan Ryan, who would knock two hard hits against Martinez, a leadoff single in the second inning, and a 2-out RBI single in the third inning that ran the score to 7-0 and ended Martinez’ major league career.

Logan Sloan replaced Martinez with runners on the corners and two down, got a fly to right from Stuckey, and thus closed the line at seven runs. The Raccoons had only one hit against Ryan at that point, and were slow to add more, but even when Cookie hit a leadoff double to left in the sixth inning they were unable to get him in. Sloan pitched three innings in relief, allowing another run to the Knights, extending their lead to 8-0. Tony Jimenez would build on that, hitting a solo shot off Kipple in the seventh inning. The Raccoons would have another leadoff double eventually, Sam Armetta lining one over the head of Herlihy to lead off the top of the eighth inning. Neither Ricardo, Romero or Carmona, could get the runner in, but the Brazilian Wonder could, Daniel Bullock doubling into left center with two outs. Jonathan Ryan fell one out short of a complete game; after striking out Rice and Rockwell to begin the ninth, Zach Graves’ pinch-hit single extended the contest. Armetta grounded to third, Avalos botched the play, and at 120 pitches, the Knights decided that this was it for Ryan. Danny Martin replaced him and got Romero to ground out to end the inning. 9-1 Knights. Nunley 2-3, BB, 2B; Graves (PH) 1-1;

As mentioned before, this was it for Martinez. I would rather send out my long-deceased Uncle Jim into a game before Martinez (0-6, 7.26 ERA) gets the ball once more. He was waived and designated for assignment, with Ryan Nielson getting called up from AAA. 29 years old by now, Nielson was from the Damani Knight mold of pitchers that refused to go away because they were relying on the meal money. He had most recently pitched for the Raccoons in 2020, going 2-0 with a 3.29 ERA and a lotta luck probably in eight games, six starts. Last year he swingmanned through the AAA season, going 11-9 with a 3.76 ERA and a save in 30 outings, 22 of those starts. This season, he was 6-1 with a 3.60 ERA in eight starts.

This was not going to bring salvation, but perhaps it could stop the bleeding for a bit.

Also, up in the rubber game for the Knights, the newly anointed Pitcher of the Month for the Continental League.

Game 3
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – RF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – 3B Nunley – 2B Spencer – C Olivares – CF Stevenson – P Garrett
ATL: CF Stuckey – SS T. Jimenez – C Luna – 1B Herlihy – 3B Avalos – RF Fullerton – 2B Hibbard – LF Folk – P L. Flores

The usual variant was another one, but in the second inning Jarod Spencer singled, stole second, and moved around on productive outs to score the first run of the game. While the first and third innings both saw Matt Nunley ground out to Herlihy with two men on base, the Knights also had no trouble to equalize their early deficit right away against Tragic Travis. Avalos hit a 1-out single in the second inning, Stevenson flubbed the pickup and gave him an extra base, but he probably would scored anyway on Devin Hibbard’s long double to right center. The Knights would also strand a pair in the bottom of the third, presumably to make Nunley feel less terrible.

The top of the fourth inning saw a big chance for the Raccoons, if only due to Ruben Luna’s throwing error. Spencer had drawn a leadoff walk, followed by Olivares chomping a ball into the ground in front of home plate. Luna pounced and rushed a throw to first, but it skidded through the dirt and Herlihy couldn’t come up with it. Runners were in scoring position with no outs for Stevenson, but the Knights preferred Garrett to bat with the bases loaded. The Raccoons “pitcher” kindly struck out, but Cookie at least restored a 2-1 lead, flying out to Fullerton deep enough to allow Spencer to hurry home. A walk to Bullock loaded the bags for Mendoza. Dumbo struck out. A 2-1 lead was not a lot with the Knights hitting drives all over the place against Tragic Travis, who allowed two hard ones in the bottom 4th. Avalos was contained by Cookie leading off, but Fullerton got a double to drop next to Stevenson in deep left center. After Hibbard struck out raking, an intentional walk to former Elk Brody Folk pulled up Flores, who was not the greatest of batters and struck out, stranding a pair, and the Knights left another pair stranded in the fifth, Garrett striking out Herlihy and Avalos.

The Raccoons failed to exploit another Luna throwing error in the top of the sixth, but the Knights had Fullerton on base with a leadoff single in the bottom of the inning, at least until he was caught stealing. At that point, either team’s pitching could still explode. Garrett stumbled along into the seventh inning before allowing an infield single to Stuckey, then walked Jimenez. With left-handers approaching, Sugano replaced him. Two on, one out, Luna flew out to center before Herlihy drove a ball really hard to left. Cookie raced back, raced back, raced back – and made the catch on the track. After Sugano and Dew wobbled through the eighth inning, the Raccoons at last manufactured an insurance run in the ninth against closer Harry Merwin, who issued a leadoff walk to Ruben Pelles, who then scored on Mendoza’s 2-out double. Lillis would close the deal, but without drilling Tony Jimenez to create some final drama with two outs in the bottom 9th. 3-1 Coons. Mendoza 2-4, BB, 2B, RBI; Rockwell 3-5; Stevenson 0-1, 2 BB, RBI; Garrett 6.1 IP, 9 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 8 K, W (5-2);

Travis Garrett is a living embodiment of win-loss records not meaning ****. His ERA is a healthy 4.96 …

Raccoons (28-24) @ Titans (36-18) – June 3-5, 2022

Second in offense and tied for fifth in terms of fewest offense allowed, the Titans had gone on a run in late April and the first half of May, going 19-4 at one point, including a 3-game sweep of the Raccoons in Boston from April 29 through May 1. This stretch had given them their lead in the division, although they had suffered a rough 1-5 week against the Bayhawks and Knights prior to this week. They had taken two of three from the Falcons before this series and had not had an off day as opposed to the Critters. Home runs were still not their strong suit, and they were in the bottom three of teams in the category, but they were pesky once on base, with the third-most stolen bases, and they were on base quite a lot. The Coons so far had been unable to handle them, losing five of six games played between the two teams so far.

Projected matchups:
Bobby Guerrero (4-4, 4.31 ERA) vs. Brian Cope (5-1, 3.34 ERA)
Jonathan Toner (5-3, 3.50 ERA) vs. Jose Fuentes (5-4, 4.50 ERA)
Frank Kelly (4-2, 2.88 ERA) vs. John Schneider (6-2, 4.61 ERA)

Only right-handers coming up here; the Titans had some injury woes to worry about as well, with Antonio Esquivel and Adrian Reichardt occupying spots on the disabled list right now.

Oddly enough, while they had no left-handed starters, they sure had plenty of left-handed relievers: Ron Thrasher, Mike Tharp, Edwin Balandran, Brent Beene, and Matt Branch were all huddled together in their bullpen.

Game 1
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – 3B Nunley – RF Mendoza – C Rice – 2B Spencer – 1B Rockwell – CF Stevenson – P Guerrero
BOS: CF W. Ramos – RF Cornejo – 3B Jam. Wilson – SS Kane – C Leonard – LF K. Evans – 2B Casillas – 1B Flack – P Cope

The Titans scored single runs in the first and third innings after the same pattern. Guerrero couldn’t find the zone, issued a walk or even two, and then they nicked a single to where the defenders ain’t. Mike Kane drove in the run in the first, Gil Cornejo did the honors in the third. It wasn’t that the Titans were really swinging the sticks that hard – but the Raccoons were doing even less and were not exactly fighting for the spotlight. Nunley hit a 1-out double in the fourth inning that led absolutely nowhere. Spencer hit a leadoff single in the fifth, but got doubled up by Rockwell’s sharp grounder to Jamie Wilson.

Truth be told, Guerrero probably did better than anticipated. The Titans had carted up no less than seven left-handed batters, and that he made it through five, then six, with only two runs allowed was probably a success. He nicked Wilson to start the sixth inning. Bullock shrugged and turned him a double play on Kane’s grounder. Then Guerrero walked Keith Leonard. A RUNNER SHALL BE ON BASE, ALWAYS. Kurt Evans voluntarily struck out. Guerrero even made it through seven before being pinch-hit for. Stevenson stumbled on base ahead of his spot, but got forced out on Graves’ grounder. Two down, Cope lost both Cookie and Bullock to walks, and Nunley drove a ball to deep center, where it was caught in spectacular fashion. Jamie Wilson hit the most unnecessary homer in history off David Kipple in the bottom of the eighth; like Ron Thrasher would have needed any further assistance before he retired the Raccoons’ 4-5-6 batters in order in the ninth… 3-0 Titans. Stevenson 2-3; Guerrero 7.0 IP, 3 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 4 BB, 5 K, L (4-5);

Game 2
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – 3B Nunley – 1B Mendoza – RF Graves – 2B Spencer – C Rice – CF Romero – P Toner
BOS: CF W. Ramos – RF Cornejo – 3B Jam. Wilson – SS Kane – C Leonard – LF K. Evans – 2B Casillas – 1B Flack – P J. Fuentes

There were also seven left-handers for Toner to cope with, and there was also an early sign from the baseball gods. Cookie hit a leadoff single in the top of the first, then was caught stealing for the first time this season. Oh, that was probably the doom bell. I know how the game of baseball works. We’re dead. For now, Toner had a scoreless first, and the Coons loaded the bases in the second inning; Graves walked, Spencer and Rice hit singles, and there was nobody out for Romero. Nobody scored, since Romero struck out, Toner’s fly to right wasn’t deep enough to get Graves home, and Cookie grounded out to Mike Kane. The Titans got their first two batters on base in the bottom 2nd, with Kane singling and Keith Leonard working a walk from Toner, but Kurt Evans smacked a ball to Spencer for a double play before Tony Casillas struck out.

Indeed, nothing worked for the Coons. Adam Flack laced a double past Romero to begin the third inning, and then Rice lost a ball to Fuentes. The runners moved up, the pitcher stopped bunting and instead hit a double past Romero’s other side – Toner had allowed the go-ahead run on a double by the pitcher. Any more signs of the apocalypse needed? Two strikeouts helped him ease from the inning, but there was no denying that the Raccoons were consigned to lose their next 29 games. Oh well, somehow we gotta wobble on, I guess.

Top 5th, down 1-0, Cookie drew a leadoff walk. Bullock hit a single to right, and both then took off for a double steal. Leonard’s throw was late, and the middle of the order now just had to NOT their thing. Nunley grounded out to first, runners staying put. Mendoza grounded out to short, runners staying put for whatever reason. No it had to be Graves, who singled past a diving Casillas into rightfield, plated both runs and flipped the score. Spencer grounded out, but Toner seemed up to the challenge and moved through the next three innings with only one runner on base.

Conundrum occurred in the eighth. Graves singling and Romero walking pulled up Toner’s spot with two outs. He was on 94 pitches, so he probably wouldn’t finish the game anyway, and we would probably entrust our fate to Brett Lillis for more than three outs anyway. This was a tough one. In this case, Toner lost out. Gil Rockwell batted for him, jumped on Julio San Pedro’s first pitch and rammed it up the leftfield line, barely fair, but far away from Javy Cisneros, for a 2-run double! After Mike Tharp replaced the former Logger San Pedro, Cookie grounded out, but the hard part came only now. Joel Davis allowed a liner to Cisneros that Cookie caught, and after that was Brett Lillis’ entry, and he knew he had to get five outs starting with the #1 batter. The tying run came up in the inning thanks to Willie Ramos’ infield single and a strange walk to Wilson, but Kane flew out to Romero in centerfield to leave the runners stranded. Before Lillis could create more drama, the Coons exploded Tharp in the top of the ninth. Bullock reached base, Nunley reached base, Mendoza reached all the bases with a booming 3-run homer to leftfield. There was another infield single in the bottom 9th, but the Titans didn’t manage to even vaguely challenge Lillis and the 6-run lead. 7-1 Critters! Carmona 2-4, BB; Graves 2-4, BB, 2 RBI; Rice 2-5; Rockwell (PH) 1-1, 2B, 2 RBI; Toner 7.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 7 K, W (6-3); Lillis 1.2 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 1 K, SV (12);

Game 3
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – 3B Nunley – RF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – C Olivares – CF Stevenson – 2B Armetta – P Kelly
BOS: CF W. Ramos – RF Cornejo – 3B Jam. Wilson – SS Kane – C Leonard – LF K. Evans – 2B Casillas – 1B Flack – P Schneider

Leave Jonny Toner out of the equation and the Titans had a habit of slowly grinding through your right-handed pitchers. A walk and two singles off Kelly scored a run in the first, Kane doing the honors with the RBI, like in the series opener on Friday. Offense was at a premium overall, with the Titans only managing one more base hit through four innings, and the Coons only landing one hit overall, Cookie’s leadoff single in the first that saw him stranded at third base eventually. The Critters’ next hit came from Armetta, a 2-out single in the fifth inning, and he even stole second base and reached third on Leonard’s terrible throw, but Kelly still flew out easily to make the third out.

The Titans upped their lead to 2-0 in the bottom of the inning thanks to Tony Casillas’ leadoff triple into the corner in rightfield. Adam Flack’s sac fly scored him easily, and the Raccoons had to get creative now, or, well, find some skill in their lunch boxes. Cookie looped a leadoff single into shallow right in the sixth, renewing futile hope. Then, one out, two out, three out, no ball even hit out of the infield, or hard, or in Bullock’s case, at all.

Kelly lumbered through six, striking out nobody and was probably done at that point, having issued five hits and four walks, but avoided a big Garrettesque explosion at least. Then came the top of the seventh. Rockwell was walked leading off the inning, and the Olivares fought off his .198 average demons and cranked a double into the gape. Rockwell wasn’t gonna score on most doubles, and he didn’t here, either, but the tying runs were in scoring position with nobody out against a pitcher that was normally not exactly dominating. After Stevenson uselessly flew out, Graves batted for Armetta. He grounded to short, Kane hiccupped, had to pick up the dropped ball and threw late. This was generously scored a single for everybody involved; Rockwell scored, and the Coons were really in the business now, thus also hitting for Kelly regardless of his own state (which was not splendid). Danny Rice batted for him, fully knowing that we were likely to invoke the pandemonium of endless left-handed relievers with the move, but the Titans stuck to Schneider, Rice drew a walk in a full count, but all that Cookie managed was a run-scoring groundout, Bullock flew out to left, and the Titans escaped in a 2-2 tie. The Raccoons failed to mount anything meaningfully in the eighth or the ninth, while the Raccoons pieced outs together between Dew, Sugano… at least until the ninth. Eric McPherson hit a single off Sugano with one out in the bottom 9th, prompting a move to Joel Davis against right-handed pinch-hitter Javy Cisneros. But sometimes, you could just as well stick to Sugano… Cisneros hit a bomb to left, and that was game over. 4-2 Titans. Carmona 2-4, RBI; Armetta 1-2; Graves (PH) 1-1, RBI;

In other news

June 3 – The Condors send SP Jim Bryant (4-4, 2.88 ERA) and cash to the Falcons for two prospects, neither of them ranked.
June 4 – The Aces’ struggles will probably deepen with LF/RF Dan Brown (.203, 9 HR, 33 RBI) going to the shelf with a strained hamstring. The 27-yer old right-handed batter is expected to miss time until the All Star game.

Complaints and stuff

A 3-3 week was enough to move us past the Wolves again into the lead position amongst the Northwest teams. It’s a tight race for once; the Coons at 29-26, the Wolves 28-26, and the Elks at 26-29, recovering from a little slump in May.

Cookie is off the DL, qualifies for the batting title race again (he did not for one day) and leads Bobby Marshall by 15 points at this junction. Even more interesting is the Federal League leader at this point. Why, it’s dear old Yoshi Nomura! Yoshi is batting .381 with two homers for the Gold Sox, but has been out since the end of May with a quad strain. He will return around the middle of June, though likely not before his 3.1 PA/G qualifier expires. 38 years old – still a goody!

The jury is still out on the Nomura/Kelly trade, but even then, without the Yoshi trade we would not have been able to start Jarod Spencer consistently. And I would be happier with starting him consistently if he wasn’t absolutely allergic to walks. He has THREE walks in 208 plate appearances. Although that is actually a 280% increase to his walk rate from 2021.

Ricky Martinez: 2-10 with a 4.67 ERA in 25 starts, now consigned to hell, I hope. Next to be dealt with is Travis Garrett, but the fact that I went to Nielson and his career record resembling wet gunpowder for Martinez’ replacement tells you a bit of the state of our AAA rotation. Dave Dyer and Rico Gutierrez both have ERA’s over five. Blake Kelly has an ERA over six. Reese Kenny had a 3.37 ERA, but was walking people left and right even in AAA.

There was a reclamation project in Ham Lake, AA, you might remember. Roger Kincheloe made a few (terrible) appearances for the Critters in 2020. Six games, five starts, 1-1 with an 8.18 ERA: Since then his body had fallen apart and had been reassembled, and he was about to turn 26 years old. He was however pitching to a 1.61 ERA in Ham Lake, whiffing 9.2 per nine innings. Never mind the four walks. As soon as somebody goes down, it might as well be Kincheloe to leap-frog the AAA crew despite me pronouncing him dead repeatedly the last few years.

Here is an interesting stat:

PORTLAND RACCOONS FRANCHISE SLUGGING LEADERS (min. 250 PA)
1st – Royce Green - .545
2nd – Jose Morales - .527
3rd – Hugo Mendoza - .514
4th – Ron Alston - .494
5th – Tetsu Osanai - .485
6th – Luke Black - .466
7th – Albert Martin - .465
8th – David Brewer - .454
9th – John Alexander - .447
t-10th – Ramiro Cavazos - .446
t-10th – Zach Graves - .446

Well look at tenth place. Cavazos was a Raccoon for only the 2001 season and I have long forgotten about him. 59 extra-base hits, but only drove in 67 for a morbidly decrepit team, and trading for him cost us the career of Salvadaro Soure and his 499 saves, but I actually mean Graves. How does he make the list!? Ahead of Neil Reece, ahead of Daniel Hall, ahead of Vern Kinnear, ahead of so many good sluggers we had over the years? What does it say about Zach Graves that is not superficially visible due to his career total of negative five home runs?

And yes, the 250 PA were picked carefully; that gets “Dingus” Morales on the list, but no even shorter-lived players. The list also once again admonishes me for ever parting with Al Martin in favor of Adrian Quebell,

Fun fact: Adrian Quebell and Daniel Hall tie for 14th in the list of franchise sluggers with at least 250 at-bats, behind Matt Hamilton, Dylan Alexander, and Werner Turner. Both had a .437 SLG mark with the Raccoons.

They did arrive at that value in different ways, though. Quebell was ever the singles slapper, and often enough he slapped into a double play, poking right at the shortstop. His batting average was 25 points higher than Dan The Man’s (.291 / .266), but Hall hit more doubles, more triples, more home runs, and even walked a bunch more, and his offense was worth 78% more WAR while he only had about 48% more plate appearances in his Coons career than Quebell, which relates to the offensively depressed era that Dan the Man started his career in. The odd outlier notwithstanding, the Continental League has been in the 3.90s or reasonably close to the 3.90s in teams of league ERA ever since about 1992, but throughout the 1980s the CL ERA was often in the 3.60s.

So this means that Dan The Man’s slugging was the same as Quebell’s, but it was better because everybody else slugged less. Right, Slappy?

Right? My life is not a lie, Slappy, right? – Slappy?

(Slappy wordlessly extends a fresh bottle of booze)

[Westheim]

After spending two days engorged and unable to move, here come the Coons. Sort of.

2022 AMATEUR DRAFT POOL ANALYSIS

Armed with nothing more than the 18th pick in every round (but also nothing less) in the 2022 draft, the Raccoons as always hoped for a first-round breakthrough that would never arrive. While there were a few given future major league All Stars in the pool, we were too deep down the order to have a snowball-in-hell’s chance of getting one of those, leaving us with the odd shots in the latter half of the first round that ultimately never worked out.

There were numerous options to go, both with pitchers and batters this year, although power was hard to find, as well as hopeful prospects at either catcher or third base. The Raccoons sure enough hoped they already had their future personnel at those positions in the organization … although 3B Mike Grigsby had batted .206 in 20 games since being promoted to AAA, but at least C Elias Tovias was having a nice stroke with the Alley Cats, batting .294 with four homers by early June. In all fairness, Grigsby was ahead of the curve here – the kid was still six months away from legally buying himself a drink.

The poor sod. Drinks are all that keep me going.

That, and the ‘mystery mix’ of pills the pale white rasta guy sells behind the ballpark at night.

Back to 19-year olds trying to make a living playing with balls, we had shortlisted 79 players from the 2022 draft pool, and of course this also included another hotlist (players with * are high school players):

SP Nick Danieley (14/14/12) – BNN #2
SP Peter Gill (11/13/9) * - BNN #10
SP Ben Darr (10/14/11) * - BNN #4
SP Erik David (13/11/12) – BNN #5
SP Dave Christiansen (10/13/11) *

CL Ricky Ohl (17/13/9)

1B Cameron Meachum (8/12/14)
SS/3B Butch Gerster (10/4/12)
INF/LF John Kelley (9/7/12)

OF Mike Chaplin (9/10/13) – BNN #1
OF Todd Eminger (10/8/10)
OF David Allard (11/7/11)
OF Mark Walker (9/9/13)

Now, most of them don’t look like much, but I suspect the Riddler hates people even more than me, so he never gives any good ratings. A 14/14/12 rating for a pitcher is slightly outrageous, and we thus have to assume that Nick Danieley will wrap up 5,000 strikeouts and 11 Pitcher of the Year titles eventually.

Interesting to me especially is Ricky Ohl, who throws 98 and has the same mild control struggles that Ron Thrasher had. He is a Thrasher-esque player, although Ohl is right-handed. I have long been hesitant to draft closers in the first round, but why exactly? We used to do good with them, including drafting a Hall of Fame closer in 1979.

Whee, that was a long time ago.

And maybe, in the ninth round or so, we find a spot to draft a pretty mediocre (trying to avoid the ‘hopeless’ moniker here) outfielder; Juan Magallanes, an 18-year-old Colombian switch-hitter from Yeshiva Rambam High School in Brooklyn – I have a hunch there is an interesting story to that, and I am dying to find out about it …!

Also, good things come from New York - Neil Reece hailed from Long Island.

[UltimateAverageGuy]

Now I'm curious, can we get a rundown of Hall of Fame players you've drafted?

Sent from my SM-J727T using Tapatalk

[Westheim]

Raccoons (29-26) vs. Canadiens (26-29) – June 6-9, 2022

This was a critical four-game series for all the wrong reasons, because if the Raccoons dared to get swept – and boy do they like to get swept by the Elks at home – they would not only drop under .500, but also under the Elks, and my poor, old, weakened-by-years-of-substance-abuse heart can’t take it anymore! In a nutshell, the Elks were horrendous and their record was better than it should be, with them scoring the seventh-most runs in the Continental League, but allowing the second-most. Their run differential was -45, and had the potential to go up further. Both starters and relievers were in the bottom three by ERA, and they had been swept in a 3-game set in Vancouver earlier in the season.

Projected matchups:
Ryan Nielson (0-0) vs. Rich Hood (4-3, 2.71 ERA)
Travis Garrett (5-2, 4.96 ERA) vs. Kevin Woodworth (6-4, 5.16 ERA)
Bobby Guerrero (4-5, 4.13 ERA) vs. Greg Becker (1-6, 6.82 ERA)
Jonathan Toner (6-3, 3.31 ERA) vs. Matt Rosenthal (5-5, 4.26 ERA)

If there was something really outrageous about this rotation, it was the fact that Rich Hood, who was the Raccoons’ first-round pick the same year Nick Brown won his only Pitcher of the Year trophy – 2009 – was the best pitcher by ERA for them after spending the last four seasons in the hells of the minor leagues, hitting single-A in the process in 2019. There were wonders, there were things that were just outright impossible, and then there was Rich Hood being a useful pitcher all of a sudden at age 35. He was due a beating, I hope we can hand it to him. He was also one of their two southpaws, the other being Becker.

And yes, the Critters are carting up Ryan Nielson’s corpse, which would probably not eventually appear on that list of worst Raccoons pitchers by ERA as long as the 50 starts minimum requirement was in place, because he had done a lot of his earlier failing in relief, but none of this was the point right now.

Game 1
VAN: LF A. Torres – RF Kim – C Holliman – SS Calfee – 1B M. Rivera – CF Coca – 3B Rickard – 2B Otis – P Hood
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – RF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – 3B Nunley – 2B Spencer – CF Stevenson – C Olivares – P Nielson

The Raccoons scored the first run of the game right in the first inning. Daniel Bullock hit a double to the wall in leftfield, uncatchable for Alex Torres, then scored on Mendoza’s single to right. And in a duel between two left-handers that had no reason to be in the major leagues, that was all the action through five innings. The Elks got two hits off Nielson in the first five innings, singles by Man-su Kim in the first inning and by Bobby Rickard in the fifth, but they never even made it to second base. Nielson struck out six over five, plus Hood to open the top of the sixth. Torres got a single through between Nunley and Bullock, but was forced out on Kim’s grounder to third base. Kim became the first Elks on second base in the game, stealing it outright, but was left on base when Ryan Holliman popped out on a 3-2 pitch. Mike Rivera’s double in the seventh inning was what knocked Nielson from the game. Stevenson couldn’t get to that drive, the first real wakeup call in the game for Nielson, and at 97 pitches it was probably time to look for a right-handed pitcher; funnily enough, Rivera was the only left-handed position player in the Elks’ lineup. Cory Dew replaced Nielson after Tony Coca’s pop to second base, and struck out Rickard to end the inning. Hood lived through seven, holding the Critters to two hits, none since the first inning, and had thrown only *67* pitches at that point, then was pretty darn close to getting in position for a W after all. Alex Torres walked with two out in the eighth against Dew, Sugano drilled Moises Berrones, for whom he had come in specifically, and then it was Bullock to reach for a quick grounder by Holliman to nip the third out from somebody with Bricker pitching. We migrated to Brett Lillis in the ninth after the rousing non-success of Jarod Spencer’s infield single in the bottom 8th, and literally nothing else, with Lillis facing the 4-5-6 batters. He struck out John Calfee, got Jeremy Houghtaling to pop out, and Tony Coca grounded out to Matt Nun- oh ****ing hell! Nunley’s throw skipped past Rockwell, the tying run went to second base, and Lillis, who was already in the clubhouse in his head, walked Rickard on four pitches. Matt Otis’ sharp grounder to second base was just barely cut off by Bullock, and fortunately enough there was a force to get at second base, because Bullock would not have been in shape for a throw to first base as he fell onto second base to end the game. 1-0 Blighters. Nielson 6.2 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 7 K, W (1-0);

Gee, three hits off Rich Hood! Wonder what will happen once they bring up a proper pitcher!?

Game 2
VAN: LF A. Torres – RF Kim – C Holliman – SS Calfee – 1B M. Rivera – CF Coca – 3B Rickard – 2B Otis – P Woodworth
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – 3B Nunley – 1B Mendoza – RF Graves – C Rice – 2B Spencer – CF Romero – P Garrett

The Monday game didn’t end because of a Nunley error, but the Tuesday game sure began with one. Torres grounded to first, Nunley hadn’t finished his dinner yet, and with plate in one paw and fork in the other there was no fielding a ball. Travis Garrett reacted out of character, striking out the next three batters to let it slide. The Elks’ third baseman would also commit an error fairly early in the game, Rickard’s bad throw putting Cookie on first base with one out in the bottom 3rd. Cookie however was caught stealing, and through three innings there was no score and only one base hit – an infield single by Nunley in the bottom 1st.

Like in the opener, the Elks’ first loud noise was a Rivera double, but this time it came leading off the fifth inning. Surely Tragic Travis was going to be done now! He struck out Coca, then Rickard flew out to left. We didn’t trust this thing here, walked Matt Otis intentionally, and not even Woodworth could harm Garrett, flying out to Cookie in shallow left. The Elks had the leadoff man on again in the sixth, this time Torres with an infield single, but Garrett staved off that threat as well, getting two soft outs from Kim and Holliman before whiffing Calfee, his seventh victim in the game. Garrett, whose own clean single in the bottom 5th had also failed to spark a riot for the home team, looked like he was hung out to dry, at least until Zach Graves made it to first base safely on a dying grounder that nobody could play properly to begin the bottom of the seventh inning. Hey, progress – that was our fourth hit in the game, one more than on Monday. Woodworth lost Danny Rice on balls, and Spencer was used to bunt the runners over. Rockwell batted for Romero, but lined out to Kim in unhelpful fashion. Our hands were forced here – Garrett’s day was over. Ruben Pelles batted for him, hitting all of .080 as a Raccoon, but finally the knot dissolved! Pelles lined a ball over Rickard’s head, Torres cut it off before it could get to the corner and held Pelles to a single, but both runners scored anyway. Both teams had two men on in the eighth inning, but all four runners reached with two outs on the board against Logan Sloan and Kevin Woodworth, respectively. A K to Holliman and Rice’s groundout ended the two halves of the inning, in order. Lillis was at it again in the ninth inning, and would again see the same part of the order. Again there was traffic with two outs as Tony Coca knocked a double to right, but Rickard struck out to end the game anyway. 2-0 Coons. Graves 2-3, BB; Pelles (PH) 1-1, 2 RBI; Garrett 7.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 8 K, W (6-2) and 1-2;

The Loggers’ 2-1 win over the Crusaders moved them out of the cellar at this point, the Elks dropping down to sixth, where they belonged.

And speaking of dropping, Cookie Carmona’s batting average had dropped 24 points this month already thanks to four oh-fers in six games. He was still leading the batting race, but not for much longer. However, with the Raccooons in the middle of a 13-game stretch and another left-hander in the starter block, Cookie and Nunley got the Wednesday affair off.

Game 3
VAN: LF A. Torres – RF Kim – SS Calfee – 1B M. Rivera – CF Coca – 3B Rickard – C Tanzillo – 2B Otis – P G. Becker
POR: 3B Bullock – SS Spencer – LF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – RF Graves – 2B Pelles – CF Stevenson – C Olivares – P Guerrero

The no-offense shtick continued, at least for a little while. The Raccoons would score first, cobbling together a run from 1-out singles by Bullock and Spencer, then Mendoza’s sac fly in the third inning. The Elks were denied by Guerrero for four innings, despite a Becker double in the third and oughta have been the point where someone saddled up and did something, but that didn’t happen then. What did happen in consecutive innings, the fourth and the fifth, were throwing errors be Ezequiel Olivares to second base on a stolen base attempt. Both runners ended up at third base. Rickard made the final out in the fourth alright, but the fifth already saw Matt Otis tie the score with a home run, and then Alex Torres singled, stole second and was waved to third base by Olivares, then came home on Man-su Kim’s single, and in the sixth Guerrero didn’t retire anybody anymore. Coca singled, Rickard tripled, Chris Tanzillo knocked him out with an RBI single. That made it a 4-1 game, and also Joel Davis’ mess to sort out. He allowed a single to Otis, but after Becker’s bunt Torres popped out to Ruben Pelles to end the inning.

And the Raccoons? I could swear I saw two of them when they stole a sandwich from a kid in the first row and vanished in the dugout with their loot. Yeah, sure, that is what they do, but their batters never showed up. Doubles by Calfee (off Davis) and Coca (off Kipple) scored another Elks run in the seventh, and after seeing the catch Torres made on Graves’ fly to left to start the bottom 7th – soaring through the air like an eagle! – I was pretty dang sure we had lost this one. Then Pelles walked. Stevenson lined to Rivera, who got glove on it, but then had it bounce out of said glove and away from him. Olivares walked, loading the bases for Cookie to pinch-hit; he knocked a clean single to right, scoring one run and bringing up Bullock as the go-ahead run; 387 major-league at-bats, zero home runs! Combined with Spencer, they even amounted to 843 at-bats… and no home runs. But Bullock knew sweat when he smelled it and waited for his pitch that never arrived. He drew the walk, shoving home a run, and after Spencer lifted a ball to center, Olivares tagged and went and Tony Coca’s throw disappeared in no man’s land, the Coons were down 5-4, had runners in scoring position, and Mendoza came up with two outs. AND he popped out.

Becker spilled two more runners on base in the eighth – do they have relievers at all?? – but Olivares’ groundout to Calfee kept the Coons from scoring. The Raccoons would still be a run short in the bottom 9th and faced Jeff Boynton and his 4.30 ERA. Romero flew out to left, Bullock rolled out to second base, and Nunley batted for Spencer, yet also flew out to left. 5-4 Canadiens. Bullock 2-4, BB, RBI; Carmona (PH) 1-1, RBI;

Thursday came and David Kipple went; Quinn MacCarthy returned from the disabled list, ending the rookie’s first sniff of major league air. Back to the minors with him, where they sleep on the bus because I am tight with money for motels.

Game 4
VAN: LF A. Torres – RF Kim – C Holliman – SS Calfee – 1B M. Rivera – CF Coca – 3B Rickard – 2B Otis – P Rosenthal
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – 3B Nunley – 1B Mendoza – RF Graves – C Rice – CF Stevenson – 2B Armetta – P Toner

Jonny Toner retired none of the first three batters; Torres singled up the middle, and then Toner walked two to fill the bags. And then he walked another one, with Calfee pushing in the game’s first run. After Mike Rivera’s RBI single came Tony Coca, a .170-something batter than cracked a grand slam to left. It was at this point that I found out the hard way that my arm was too short to shoot myself into the temple with the blunderbuss.

At that point, nothing the Raccoons would do in the next 53 innings could possibly matter, but Toner also didn’t shake it off and somehow made it through another five innings like he had done occasionally before. No, on this Thursday he was the gift that kept on giving … home runs to the Elks. Holliman hit one in the second, and Torres hit one in the third. All in all, Toner lasted 2.2 innings and bled for nine runs, unanswered of course, but somehow still found time for four strikeouts as the park around him already lay in ruins. Two more runs fell out of Quinn MacCarthy in the fourth inning as he allowed two hits and THREE walks. An ineffective appearance by Logan Sloan, who was in his third straight game and looked like it was his eleventh straight game, left the bullpen pretty much empty by the sixth inning. Noah Bricker had to give us multiple innings if we wanted to cover nine innings without resorting to a position player pitching. This led to Bricker batting in the bottom of the sixth inning with the bases loaded and one out, although the damage he could do to the Raccoons’ cause was probably minor given that at that point we were trailing by 11 runs. Bricker struck out, which was better than a double play. Cookie and Bullock both knocked singles, both plating two, and Nunley also singled. Where did the string end? Of course with Dumbo Mendoza! Sucker grounded out to Rivera, ending the inning with a 12-5 score. Two pitches later it was 13-5 as Holliman belched one off Bricker, and are we really still counting?

The game still had potential to become the last one I would ever see before expiring. Bricker somehow rolled through the seventh inning without being decapitated, with Mike Rivera doubling, but being thrown out at third base by Zach Graves. The bottom 7th saw back-to-back doubles by Stevenson and Armetta, but the latter pulled up lame after his double and required replacement. Pelles replaced him on the bases, while Olivares replaced Bricker first in the box, then flew out, THEN proceeded to replace Bricker on the mound. It was that time of year, apparently. Holliman almost hit his third bomb in the game off Olivares, but overall the catcher retired six of seven batters he faced. QUITE THE DIFFERENCE. None of this, of course, could save the Coons, who had lost the game when Jonny Toner allowed the first six batters in the game to not only reach base, but also score. 13-6 Canadiens. Carmona 2-5, BB, 2 RBI; Nunley 2-5; Stevenson 4-5, 2B; Armetta 3-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Olivares 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K;

Armetta had a mild oblique strain. The Druid guessed between one and two weeks, and with Armetta it really was such that you preferred him to be frozen solid on the DL for a week for no reason rather than have the roster spot frozen solid because you didn’t disable him. To the DL he went, and we recalled Tim Stalker. Demoted not quite four weeks ago, Stalker had been through another two weeks of slumping in St. Petersburg before suddenly catching fire. He had a 7-game hitting streak, had hit safely in 11 of his last 13 games, and that included six multi-hit games for a .277/.352/.436 slash line in AAA. Better call him up now before he cools off.

Raccoons (31-28) vs. Pacifics (21-39) – June 10-12, 2022

There was something rancid about the Pacifics’ stats. I don’t know, maybe it was the fact they were last in runs scored in the Federal League, or the fact that they were last in runs allowed in the federal league. They had the worst rotation as well as the worst relief corps. They were bottom in batting average and on-base percentage. They were winning one in four games on the road. They had a lot of has-beens on the roster that no longer were, and the product was abysmal indeed. The Raccoons hadn’t lost a series to the Pacifics since 2012, but as a matter of fact had played them only three times since, going 7-2 in total.

Projected matchups
Frank Kelly (4-2, 2.88 ERA) vs. Bruce Mark (1-5, 5.57 ERA)
Ryan Nielson (1-0, 0.00 ERA) vs. Tom Grant (1-4, 3.38 ERA)
Travis Garrett (6-2, 4.37 ERA) vs. Vincent Alfaro (1-7, 5.22 ERA)

Bruce Mark was 37 and had been in L.A. long enough for three World Series rings. John Key (4-5, 4.74 ERA) and Ernesto Lozano (1-6, 6.00 ERA) had seen some ****, but had rarely been this ****. Alfaro and Grant were youngsters. They were all right-handed and they were all consistently getting punched.

Game 1
LAP: CF Stiltner – 2B Herman – C Dehne – 3B Mesa – RF M. Diaz – SS Hansen – 1B McIntyre – LF Elliott – P Mark
POR: LF Carmona – 3B Nunley – RF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – SS Stalker – 2B Spencer – CF Stevenson – P Kelly

The Furballs could really use a long and productive outing at this point, but following Mendoza’s solo home run in the first inning Kelly was quick to give the lead away in the top 2nd, walking John Hansen before allowing singles to Will McIntyre and Allen Elliott, the latter scoring the runner. Kelly had a walk and a hit on average per inning, which was not a rate conducive of a long outing, nor a productive one.

After Gil Rockwell legged out an infield single in the bottom 4th – because some things exist despite all our knowledge of the universe indicating the contrary – it was on Tim Stalker to leave a Mark, cranking a 2-out, 2-2 pitch to left center and outta here for a 390-footer, a 2-run, go-ahead homer for the returning rookie! And more help was on the way with Spencer singling and scoring on Stevenson’s double into the rightfield corner that kept running away from Mario Diaz. But on the flip side, Frank Kelly, who grounded out to end the inning, needed 98 pitches through five innings, which was not at all helpful, and I already wondered, which position player the miracle box with the large “?” on it behind the centerfield fence would spew forth to pitch today. We were lucky enough to get Kelly through six with the 4-1 lead still in place, more was just not possible.

Armed with an add-on run scored by Danny Rice after his 1-out double, which could have been an RBI double if Bobby Stiltner hadn’t made a splendid catch racing back on Rockwell’s preceding drive, advancing on an error and Spencer’s single, Manobu Sugano was in for the top 7th, facing the top of the order. The Pacifics had only three left-handed bats, Stiltner, Alex Mesa, and Allen Elliott, limiting Sugano’s use somewhat, but the bid was that he would retire Stiltner and Mesa without spilling more than one runner between Nick Herman and Matt Dehne. When Stiltner reached on an infield single, everything was out the window right away. Cory Dew inherited two on, two out eventually, conceded a run on Mario Diaz’ single, with Hansen grounding out afterwards. After Will McIntyre’s grondout to begin the eighth, the Coons threw Brett Lillis into the game for a 5-out save. Lillis had been spared in Thursday’s blowout and had to get his ****ing done. Elliott’s infield single hinted at other things to come, but the Raccoons evaded disaster in the eighth by Danny Rice making a nice play on Zheng-ze Ts’ai’s (actual name!) grounder that he fielded hard to second base for a force out, and Lillis whiffing Stiltner. Rice homered in the bottom of the eighth, adding a fourth run to our lead, so when Lillis put his customary pair of runners on base with two outs in the ninth, the tying run was still not at the plate. John Hansen struck out to keep him off the plate, too. 6-2 Furballs. Rice 2-4, HR, 2B, RBI; Spencer 1-2, BB, RBI; Bullock 1-1; Lillis 1.2 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K, SV (15);

Game 2
LAP: CF Stiltner – LF J. Gonzalez – RF M. Diaz – C Dehne – 2B Herman – 1B McIntyre – SS Hansen – 3B Mesa – P Alfaro
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Spencer – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – SS Stalker – RF Graves – CF Romero – P Nielson

Nick Herman struck out before the Pacifics could make more out of two singles and runners on the corners in the first inning. The first run of the game fell to the Coons, Rice hitting a leadoff single in the bottom 2nd and scored on Stalker’s triple into the left-center gap. Romero would come up with an RBI double, but it was all for nought, because Nielson would load the bases in the third inning, which started with a pitcher’s double. A walk to Javier Gonzalez (not the one that spent many years in the CL South) and drilling Mario Diaz loaded the bases, and Matt Dehne emptied them with a triple into the leftfield corner. Yes, that’s their catcher. Dehne scored on Herman’s groundout, giving L.A. a 4-2 lead.

Alfaro wouldn’t get a win, leaving the game with an injury after three innings. His replacement in the bottom of the fourth inning, right-hander Pat Collins (7.61 ERA), would have the tying runs aboard before he got an out. Hansen’s throwing error put Tim Stalker on base, and Collins himself then nicked Graves with a pitch. And yet, the only constructive hitting in this gift situation came from Nielson, who hit an RBI single. Romero hit into a force, Cookie popped out, Spencer rolled out to short, probably hoping for another error. Nielson worked his way into the seventh inning where he got stuck, literally, with two outs. Hitting Javier Gonzalez with a pitch was bad enough, but hitting Mario Diaz with a pitch right after that caused some red alert action and Cory Dew to appear in yet another game. Dehne grounded out to keep the runners stranded. Nielson was taken off the hook after all in the bottom of the inning, Nunley plating Spencer with a sac fly after the second baseman had tripled with one out.

What was a brand new ballgame, survived another inning by Dew in the eighth, before Sugano appeared for the ninth inning and left-handed bats. He walked Mesa to begin the inning, and soon enough the Pacifics flushed out their right-handed bench personnel. After Ts’ai flew out to left, Tim Roush singled, sending Mesa to third, from where Sugano scored him with a wild pitch. Left-hander Javier Gonzalez singled home Roush from second base, and Logan Sloan had to replace Sugano just to get out of the inning. Bottom 9th, closer Danny Munos (5.40 ERA) opened the inning with a leadoff walk to Romero, and that meant it was the tying run in the box. Oh look what we found on the bench – Dumbo Mendoza! The fool – angry after having to interrupt gobbling up his third apple pie (not: piece of apple pie; apple pie!) popped out on the first pitch, Herman making the catch near the mound. Cookie, however, singled to left, bringing up the winning run in Spencer, although I was more counting on Nunley for a rip. Spencer almost prevented him from coming up, grounding to second base, but Hansen’s only play was on Cookie. Nunley wouldn’t hit a walkoff, but singled, plating a run, to keep the line moving, and it brought up Rockwell. Munos was a southpaw, and the Pacifics didn’t have a right-hander available. Dear Gil, if you can ever find it in your heart to make an impact, this would be a good spot. He grounded out to the mound. 6-5 Pacifics. Carmona 2-5; Nunley 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Stalker 2-4, 3B, RBI;

Sad stat: Gil Rockwell was 0-for-5, and is 1-for-his-last-21. Worse yet, Ezequiel Olivares is 2-for-22 in his last seven games, and that does not account for two gruesome throwing errors, including one that cost a game.

Disturbing, too: if the Coons somehow can win the Sunday game and give the W to Garrett, who has an active 5-game winning streak (!!??), Tragic Travis will be the winningest pitcher on the staff.

Yes, Garrett won his last five starts. That includes 4-run outings were the Coons put ten on Oklahoma and 16 on Vegas, but also two scoreless outings. He only finished the seventh inning once, and never made it to the eighth, but his ERA was a pretty good 2.73 during these five games.

Game 3
LAP: CF Stiltner – 2B Herman – C Dehne – 3B Mesa – RF M. Diaz – SS Hansen – 1B McIntyre – LF Elliott – P Lozano
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Spencer – 3B Nunley – 1B Mendoza – RF Graves – SS Stalker – CF Stevenson – C Olivares – P Garrett

Never say anything nice to or about Travis Garrett. He is the type of player who needs verbal abuse at least to function even semi-decently. The second I used him in one thought with the words “pretty good”, Matt Dehne hit a mile-long homer right in the first inning, putting the Pacifics 1-0 ahead, and Mario Diaz hit a long leadoff jack in the second inning. The Pacifics would send everybody but the pitcher to bat in the third inning, knocking Garrett around for five singles and three runs, but oh well, maybe the Coons can score 15 and still win for his ****ING WINNING STREAK??

Not bloody quite. Stalker’s infield single was all they had cooking the first time through the order, and while Mendoza and Graves hit 2-out singles in the bottom 4th, Stalker couldn’t come through then. Garrett was finally done after four-plus, Matt Dehne eliminating him with a leadoff jack that ran the score to 6-0. After the Pacifics had dressed Garrett like a young stag on the field, they almost continued with MacCarthy, who was bailed out by a double play before the gap could get even bigger in the same inning. MacCarthy at least pitched two innings; Joel Davis pitched the seventh, but consulted the Druid after that, so something was up there.

On offense, Cookie had plated Stevenson with a single in the fifth inning, but we still trailed 6-1. Cookie would come up again in the bottom 7th, then finding the bases loaded and no outs. Stevenson had singled, Olivares doubled, and Gil Rockwell had been walked intentionally. Unforunately Cookie grounded to short, Hansen to second, where a little bobble by Nick Herman insured that no double play could be turned on Cookie, as one run scored, 6-2. Cookie then stole second base, which took the double play away on Spencer’s grounder to Hansen, and another run scored. Nunley singled to right with two outs, presenting Mendoza as the tying run. Dumbo whiffed. Singles by Bullock and Stalker and a Mario Diaz throwing error brought the tying run up in the bottom 8th, and then with nobody out. Stevenson had Stalker at second base, grounded out, but Olivares found centerfield with a single, plating Stalker, 6-5, and now Rockwell was the go-ahead run against right-handed reliever Jesus Lopez and his 6.75 ERA. But Rockwell also couldn’t get through, ever, and Cookie grounded out to Tony Duke at short as well. There was another chance for Mendoza to hit a walkoff homer off Danny Munos in the bottom 9th, with Nunley having reached base ahead of him, but oh what am I even babbling on and on about…? 6-5 Pacifics. Nunley 2-5; Mendoza 2-5; Bullock (PH) 1-1; Stalker 2-4; Stevenson 2-4; Olivares 2-4, 2B, RBI; MacCarthy 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

In other news

June 7 – The Falcons are smothered beneath 25 hits and 20 runs by the Knights, who have two separate 6-run innings in their 20-2 triumph. ATL 1B Trent Herlihy (.212, 6 HR, 18 RBI) is unretired in the game with four hits, three walks, two home runs, and four RBI’s.
June 9 – Once again, DAL INF Raul Maldonado (.399, 0 HR, 18 RBI) has a 20-game hitting streak going. Maldonado singles in the first inning of the Stars’ 7-4 win over the Scorpions to reach the two-oh mark.
June 10 – The Titans’ John Schneider (7-2, 4.24 ERA), Matt Branch, and Desi Bowles pitch a combined no-hitter against the Warriors in a 13-2 Titans rout. Both runs are on Schneider, who issues six walks in his start and lasts only six-plus innings. It is the second recorded combined no-hitter in ABL history, and both have come against the Warriors.
June 10 – A fractured foot will keep CHA 3B Ryan Czachor (.211, 3 HR, 15 RBI) on the sidelines until early July.
June 10 – DAL INF Raul Maldonado’s (.388, 0 HR, 18 RBI) hot streak ends at 20 games with the Canadiens, who hold him hitless in their 5-2 win in Vancouver.

Complaints and stuff

I think I know what Jonny Toner is up to. He does not want to get traded, so he intentionally depreciates his value so that I will never get a trade offer that is what I would deem good enough for him – basically all the prospects in the world – and then he can remain in Portland.

It is the only explanation that does not involve him horribly coming apart at age 31. I thus must cling to it.

No news on Joel Davis so far, but any injury would be bad now. I had him in my eye for a trade to get youngsters up from the minors. You might remember we selected CL Joe Moore with our first round pick last season and by all accounts he seems as ready as he’ll ever be. With 22 K in 20.2 IP for the Alley Cats you can think about a promotion. He is a right-hander; we also have a left-hander ready that we acquired at the deadline in ’21, Billy Brotman. Now, what is the over/under on Sugano holding up until the end of the season? Or the end of the month?

We released Blake Kelly this week, which clears a spot in the minors early with the draft (then) six days away. Kelly, 28, had pitched to a 6.75 ERA in St. Petersburg. At some point… Roger Kincheloe with his stitched-together shoulder and arm and what-not was promoted from Ham Lake, where he had pitched to a 1.63 ERA in 72 innings. 2020 supplemental rounder Jason Butler was promoted from Aumsville, where he had struck out 93 in 85.1 innings. Butler, 21, had a 3.27 ERA, the best in his professional single-A career.

And can we make an arrangement that whenever I don’t explicitly state “walks are an issue” for a prospect that walks are still an issue? You should be curious whenever I say that walks are *not* an issue. We might have the next Kisho Saito on our hands then. Saito’s career BB/9 was 2.0, fourth-best among Hall of Famers (along with Lawson Steward), and trailing only Tony Hamlyn (1.9), Dennis Fried (1.8), and Juan “Mauler” Correa (1.2!). Which brings us to…

Originally Posted by UltimateAverageGuy

Now I'm curious, can we get a rundown of Hall of Fame players you've drafted?

Currently, the tally is three, but only one of them was inducted as a Raccoon, and that is obviously Grant West, with all of his 522 career saves coming for the Critters – him, Daniel Hall, Scott Wade, and Nick Brown are still the only major players to spend their entire career as professionals with the Raccoons; among our other Hall of Famers, Tetsu Osanai and Kisho Saito were signed out of Japan by the ****ing Elks before being sniped away in consecutive mid-season deals after they had already made their big league debuts, and Neil Reece was a prospect bounty in the 1988 firesales and finished his career with the Pacifics.

The other two Raccoons draft picks that have made the Hall of Fame are Antonio Donis, who was highlighted earlier when he appeared on Jonny Toner’s strikeout tally radar, and is currently still one spot ahead of him at the edge of the career top 50, and also Dennis Fried. Donis was a third-round pick in 1990, while Fried was a fourth-rounder in 1987, made 13 starts for the Raccoons in ’90, plus three relief appearances, with a 5-4 record and 4.22 ERA as a 21-year-old, then was shippered off to Nashville in a trade for Raúl Castillo to get some life into the lineup. He then won another 235 games for them as well as the 1996 FL Pitcher of the Year title.

Now, depending on how much credit you want to give Nick Brown (225-135, 2.89 ERA, 3,166 K) we might get a fourth drafted Hall of Famer (and fifth for the team) in less than two years. I FULLY expect him to make the Hall, but I don’t know if he’s first-ballot or not.

There are two more: Yoshi Nomura and Angel Casas. They were consecutive first-round picks in 2002 and 2003, respectively. Both are still active. Yoshi has 2,731 career hits and almost 70 WAR. Could be worse, I guess. Angel has 641 saves (second to Andres Ramirez, whom I shunned in ’77 to draft Daniel Hall) and a 2.23 ERA, which looks bolt-on first-ballot. Both are still active. I’m pretty sure Angel would be a Raccoon, and while Yoshi may not quite spend half his career with us at the end of the day, his time with other teams was never long, and so the Raccoons hold by far the biggest piece of his career cake.

Ralph Ford will appear on the ballot this winter, ostensibly as a Raccoon, but he was not a Raccoons draft pick; the Condors took him in ’95, and we acquired him in the O-Mo trade in ’97. A flood of Indians will arrive on the ballots in the coming years, including Mun-wah Tsung, who I have repeatedly stated was a Raccoons farm hand, but was not a Raccoons draft pick, and not even a Raccoons signing. We traded for him 2002, then traded him away in 2004. He never played for the Raccoons in the majors. In 2026, Adrian Quebell will be on the ballot as a Raccoon, but he was a Warriors draft pick in 2000. We only picked him up 2005 in a trade for Randy Farley and Dan Nordahl (which also ended Al Martin’s career and which I still regret).

Regardless, none of those three have much of a whiff at the hall. It’s Brownie, then nothing for years and years.

As stated a thousand times before, Cookie was acquired in the big “Dingus” Morales gamble ten years ago and was not a draft pick. The next closest thing to another drafted-and-elected player for the Hall is Matt Nunley, who is 31 and has 1,285 career hits. No, Hector Santos was not a draft pick, he was an international discovery from the Dominican Republic, picked out of the bushes by good ol’ Vince Guerra all the way back in 2004.

Now … (motions a circle in the air with his index finger) … back three squares. But going into Raúl Castillo and his three games for the Raccoons before a crippling concussion sidelined him for-more-or-less-ever would be cheap, right?

Fun Fact: The Blue Sox made their three most recent World Series appearances during Dennis Fried’s career, losing all three times, to the Titans in 1998 and 2002, and to the Falcons in 2005.

Hah, three World Series defeats in a row! The Raccoons have only lost their two most recent World Series appearances as of today! That was 2010 to the Cyclones, when we lost every game not started by Nick Brown, and 1996, when - …

(raises eyebrow)

Maud, what date is it? – No, I mean the year?

Oh…

[Westheim]

The Critters’ week started off with disabling Joel Davis, who was diagnosed with a mild shoulder strain and should be able to return to the team after 15 days’ time. This opened a spot for Joe Moore, our top pick in last year’s draft, who was thus welcomed to the big leagues. 6’2’’ with an extremely tough build, and lobbing it at 97. I like that package already.

Raccoons (32-30) @ Buffaloes (33-29) – June 13-15, 2022

Off to the prairie we were, meeting with the Buffaloes in Topeka for the first time since 2020. The Raccoons had won the two most recent series with the Buffaloes, each time two games to one. As we came in, the Buffaloes were but half a game off the lead in the FL East, which was not bad for a team that had ended up dead last in 2021. They ranked fourth in runs scored, sixth in runs conceded. Actually, they were sixth in a lot of things, including defense, and fourth in others like stolen bases and bullpen ERA. Their rotation was a bit on the weak side, ranking eighth by ERA.

Projected matchups:
Bobby Guerrero (4-6, 4.32 ERA) vs. Carlos Marron (5-3, 4.54 ERA)
Jonathan Toner (6-4, 4.16 ERA) vs. Jose Lerma (5-6, 5.51 ERA)
Frank Kelly (5-2, 2.79 ERA) vs. Jerry Moran (2-5, 3.87 ERA)

Lerma was their sole left-hander, and also was bottom of the rotation in terms of losses and ERA. Except for veteran Jose Ortega (4-4, 4.44 ERA), who was back in Topeka this year after spending the last four years with four other teams following his 12 years with Topeka prior to that, this was a very young rotation, and the sky – well, the sky was not quite the limit, but they sure had promise and a year further down the road this could be a pretty darn good rotation.

The Buffaloes were without one of their best players, with regular catcher Victor Ayala (.335, 9 HR, 42 RBI) DL’ed due to a quad tear.

Game 1
POR: LF Carmona – SS Stalker – 3B Nunley – 1B Mendoza – RF Graves – C Rice – 2B Pelles – CF Stevenson – P Guerrero
TOP: 2B Hernandes – LF Cade – 1B C. Owen – C Gilbert – 3B W. White – RF Pimentel – SS Grooms – CF Sanborn – P Marron

The Raccoons scored the first run in the game, Stevenson hitting a leadoff double in the third and eventually scampering home on Tim Stalker’s groundout, but the lead was short-lived. The Buffaloes had a knack for finding holes for singles; Amari Cade had been wiped out on a 3-6-3 double play (something Gil Rockwell would never turn) on Chris Owen’s grounder in the bottom of the first inning after hitting an infield single, but he would sure hit another one in the bottom of the third, following Marco Hernandes’ 2-out single. Owen this time singled up the middle, plating Hernandes to tie the game, and Guerrero collapsed right at the point, and would not retire any of the next four batters, either. Wade White singled in two after Jon Gilbert walked, Dave Pimentel hit an RBI double, and Chris Grooms walked. Zach Graves throwing himself into Todd Sanborn’s hissing liner was the end of the inning, after seven straight 2-out runners and four runs scored on Guerrero. Owen hit another RBI single with two outs in the fourth, a ****ty blooper that dropped into shallow right on a 3-2 pitch and scored Hernandes again; Hernandes had moved up two bases on the previous two pitches, first stealing second base, then getting to third on a wild pitch that filled the count. Neither Quinn MacCarthy, nor Logan Sloan could restore order in the game after Guerrero was yanked for a pinch-hitter in the fifth inning, Rockwell popping out in style in his place. MacCarthy allowed one run, Sloan allowed a whopping three as the team just merrily kept falling apart. Matt Nunley hit the saddest home run in the eighth inning, Mendoza doubled and got eventually driven in by Danny Rice, but the team still lost by plenty. Marron fell one out short of a complete game, being pulled when Tim Stalker, who posted his first oh-fer since returning from the minors, hit a sac fly with runners on the corners and one out in the ninth inning. 9-4 Buffaloes. Nunley 2-4, HR, RBI; Graves 2-4;

Joe Moore did not yet pitch in this game, not having arrived rested from AAA.

So, Stalker went 0-for-4 with a meaningless RBI, none of our relief pitchers seem to be able to get through any kind of zero-yield inning, and next up is Jonny Toner, who was best described as an excursion train whose lead bogie had sprung off the track and which was currently working its way down the embankment towards the canyon, with the rest of the team trapped and falling to their doom in the following passenger cars.

I blamed a lot on his .331 BABIP in ’21, and it was over .320 again this year, but home runs were also up dramatically. He had never allowed more than 13 in a full season (including last year, the second time he allowed 13), but he already sat at nine homers this year.

Game 2
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Spencer – RF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – 3B Nunley – CF Stevenson – SS Stalker – C Olivares – P Toner
TOP: RF Pimentel – LF Cesta – SS S. Williams – 1B C. Owen – C Gilbert – 3B W. White – 2B Grooms – CF Cade – P Lerma

Leadoff walks weren’t going to solve Toner’s issues, but at least Stephen Williams’ grounder to short doubled up Dave Pimentel in the first inning to prevent early troubles. There were woes to bemoan nevertheless; Toner struck out absolutely nobody the first time through the order which was obviously extremely unusual. Well, at least it was still a shutout and he didn’t get roasted for nine outright. Little steps, I say, little steps.

Never mind that the Raccoons’ offense was reminding everybody of a playful puppy trying to pounce on ball, only to tumble over it and land on its back, confused and bewildered. Also bewildering, the readiness with which Toner would fall 3-0 behind Mike Cesta to begin the fourth inning. Cesta poked and singled to center, the Buffaloes’ second hit in the game. Williams grounded to short again, Cesta was forced, but Spencer flunked the throw to first, and then called for the Mena’s attention. After the Druid briefly licked over Spencer’s shoulder and quickly applied the Pendulum of Destiny, with the home team’s crowd watching in silent amazement, he nodded and confirmed, Spencer had to come out. Ruben Pelles replaced him, just in time to start a 4-6-3 double play on Chris Owen’s grounder. Toner, still K-free, at least jumpstarted the Coons’ offense in the top of the fifth, singling to right with one out. Cookie then doubled, putting both of them in scoring position. Pelles struck out (sigh!), Mendoza was half-heartedly walked by the Buffaloes – the kind of intentional unintentional walk you give to a guy to bring up the next guy batting .221 – but Rockwell lobbed a blooper into left center to plate two runs anyway. Nunley flew out to Cesta in deep left, ending the inning.

Ah, at least Cookie was on our side. Still leading the batting race in the CL, he came to the plate with two outs and two on in the 2-0 game in the sixth. Those two on were Olivares (single) and Toner (walk), and Cookie hit another ball up the rightfield line and it fell in again. It was his second consecutive double to right, and this one plated two runs on Pimentel’s weak defense. Pelles singled to left to score Cookie, 5-0. Toner drilled PH J.D. Cook to start the bottom 6th (with Lerma gone from the game thus) but then struck out Pimentel, his first whiff in the game. The handful of faithfuls along the third base line burst into cheers, with one guy holding up a sign reading “JOHNNY K-AN!”. Well, he could for a little while. The Buffaloes got a run off him in the seventh, Grooms doubling home Wade White, who had walked, with two outs. Toner made it to the eighth, where PH Jimmy Shank popped out to begin the inning. Then it was Toner’s turn to signal for the trainer and vanish in the tunnel with him. The guy with the sign sat there, mouth agape, and wouldn’t move for the rest of the game. Sugano and Dew got the last five outs from the Buffaloes. 5-1 Coons. Carmona 4-5, 2 2B, 2 RBI; Rockwell 3-5, 2 RBI; Toner 7.1 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 2 K, W (7-4) and 1-3, BB;

Alright, after this textbook definition of a Pyrrhic victory, I have bad news and no news, once each. Which one do you want first?

I thought so. Jarod Spencer was diagnosed with a partial tear in his labrum and will be out for about six weeks. He was moved to the DL pronto. Guillermo Aponte rejoined the team from AAA.

There are no news regarding Toner so far.

Game 3
POR: LF Carmona – SS Stalker – 3B Nunley – RF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – 2B Pelles – CF Stevenson – P Kelly
TOP: 2B Hernandes – LF Cesta – SS S. Williams – 1B C. Owen – 3B W. White – C Ferrales – RF Cade – CF Sanborn – P Moran

Both teams’ #7 batter got an RBI in the second inning, with Pelles singling home Mendoza, who had been drilled to start the inning, and Amari Cade hitting a sac fly to get Wade White in to score. The Raccoons took a new lead in the third inning, Kelly knocking a leadoff single and coming home on Mendoza’s 2-out single, but then Kelly ****ed it up again, right away. Marco Hernandes hit a leadoff single in the bottom 3rd, and with two outs Owen and White hit back-to-back doubles, first to tie, then to go ahead. Hernandes was on base again in the fifth inning, this time with an infield single, stole his 15th base (same as Cookie) and then right away scored on a single to right by Mike Cesta, who would reach second base during Chris Owen’s at-bat when Gil Rockwell couldn’t come up with a pickoff throw by Danny Rice. To level that kind of clumsiness between teams, the baseball gods made Cesta go for third on Williams’ fly to Stevenson in shallow center, with Stevenson throwing out the runner with a perfect zip line to Matt Nunley.

Still down 4-2, the Raccoons would have the tying runs aboard with nobody out in the sixth inning after a walk to Rockwell and Rice’s soft single. Ruben Pelles’ double play grounder to short changed that for sure, and Stevenson also lamely grounded out. On to the bottom of the seventh, which saw Kelly rightfully and ragingly yanked after Jerry Moran had hit a leadoff double to centerfield. Joe Moore was in for his major league debut, facing the top of the order. Hernandes grounded out to Nunley, Cesta flew out softly to Cookie, and Williams went down on strikes – and thus another major league career had begun.

Top 8th, the tying runs were on base again with nobody out. Nunley had singled to right, Mendoza had singled up the middle. Rockwell came up, fell behind 1-2 whiffing badly, then chomped a ball into play after all, back to the mound, Moran to Williams, to Owen, it was horrendous and magnificent at the same time, especially considering that Nunley would then score on a wild pitch. That was it; Rice grounded out, and the Raccoons never got a man on against Mike Baker in the ninth inning. 4-3 Buffaloes. Mendoza 2-3, RBI; Rice 2-4; Pelles 2-3, RBI;

Interlude: The End

The draft was on Wednesday, and on Thursday the team was in transit to Indianapolis. Barely having arrived at the airport, I got a call from the Druid, who had remained behind in Topeka with Jonny Toner and wanted me to hear it from himself, and first.

The Druid had determined that the reason why Toner had been so terrible recently was some lingering shoulder soreness and he had to really get that out of his system. Oh well, I naively said, then he misses two starts on the DL, or maybe three?

Yeah, maybe, the Druid replied. Maybe three.

Months.

But maybe more.

Raccoons (33-32) @ Indians (33-33) – June 17-19, 2022

These teams had split the first series of the year right down the middle, 2-2. The Indians ranked fourth in runs scored and were tied for sixth in runs allowed. Their rotation, which held three southpaws, was seventh by ERA.

Projected matchups:
Ryan Nielson (1-0, 2.70 ERA) vs. Tom Shumway (5-5, 2.95 ERA)
Travis Garrett (6-3, 4.95 ERA) vs. Alvin Smith (2-2, 2.23 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (0-0) vs. Killian Savoie (6-3, 4.27 ERA)

Handedness for the starters would match for all three games in the series, with southpaws facing off on Friday and Sunday, and right-handers (northpaws?) on Saturday.

The Raccoons, who had been so vehemently bereft on their off day, had to make a quick move to get another starter up. Roger Kincheloe, who had just been promoted to AAA again after rising from the dead in Ham Lake, had walked six and had gotten strafed in his first start back in AAA, which cost him a chance to use the bus lane past the other players that were semi-hopefuls at best. Promotion went to a debutee, 23-year-old Rico Gutierrez, who had pitched to a 4.57 ERA in St. Pete so far this year, but eh, beggars, choosers, and we were ****ed anyway. Gutierrez, a southpaw, had been signed out of the Dominican Republic seven years ago in the International Free Agent signing period in July of 2015, costing us $112k. He had made his professional debut in ’18, going 3-6 with a 4.09 ERA in 12 starts in Aumsville, then missed most of 2019 with shoulder inflammation, which right now rings painfully familiar.

He better not **** up, because I know where I left the blunderbuss in Portland. Good thing he’ll make his debut in Indy, because they won’t let me carry guns on an airplane. His debut would come on Sunday after Nielson and Garrett, as the Coons pushed Guerrero to the end of the line after the off day.

WHAT A ROTATION.

Game 1
POR: LF Carmona – CF Stevenson – RF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – 3B Nunley – SS Bullock – 2B Stalker – C Olivares – P Nielson
IND: LF D. Morales – 3B J. Jackson – C J. White – RF C. Martinez – 1B M. Rucker – 2B B. Reyes – SS Matias – CF Otero – P Shumway

Gil Rockwell continued to improve our chances on a top draft pick in 2023, hitting into a double play right in the first inning with such great precision that it greatly hurt even if you were pretty damn numb overall. Cookie had singled, Mendoza had walked, nobody scored. The Indians also had two men on in the bottom 1st, with Nielson hitting Jamal White and walking Cesar Martinez, but Mike Rucker’s groundout ended the inning. Nielson would go on strike out the next four batters and remained unhit against through three innings. Bob Reyes would have the Indians’ first hit, an RBI single in the bottom 4th, and also the fourth straight plate appearance ending with a 3-1 pitch. White had flown out to right to begin the inning, but Nielson had walked the next two batters. Martinez came home on the single to left, and Nielson was visibly dissolving on the mound until Raul Matias did not exactly do justice to his image as Raccoons schreck and hit to Bullock for a double play, ending the inning. Shumway would hit a double on a 3-1 pitch in the bottom 5th, and stood on second base to the conclusion of the inning, a little break from his day job of shutting out the Furballs. He issued a leadoff walk to Stevenson in the sixth inning, but Mendoza was right there on pat and hit sharply into a double play. Nielson would last six and a third, accepting Shumway’s bunt after walking Leo Otero to lead off the bottom 7th. Now, Shumway’s bunt was popped up and Nielson caught it, keeping the extra run at first base. The Coons moved to Cory Dew, and the Indians sent left-handed Lowell Genge to bat for Danny Morales. Nunley handled his pop and also Justin Jackson’s grounder to end the inning. Nielson was still on the hook by that one measly run, but maybe something could be done about that after Matias’ gruesome throwing error in the eighth inning. Ricardo Romero had singled with one out in Dew’s place, and when Cookie grounded to short, Romero had already been on the run and possibly distracted Matias in his motion to turn around second base. The Indians surely argued that, while Matt Nunley bickered from the top of the dugout that the fool should keep his focus instead of complaining. No interference call, as vague as it would have been, was granted, and the Coons had runners in scoring position with one out because it had taken Mike Rucker that long to retrieve the ball. Stevenson grounded out so poorly that the runners had to hold, and then the Indians did NOT walk Mendoza intentionally to bring up the horrendous corpse of Gil Rockwell. And why would they? Mendoza popped out on the first pitch, stranding the runners. 1-0 Indians. Nielson 6.1 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 4 BB, 7 K, L (1-1);

We were now at .500, probably for the last time in my lifetime.

The Indians would not bring Alvin Smith in the middle game. They had also had a day off on Thursday, and would like to see the Raccoons trying to fail against three southpaws, I assume.

Game 2
POR: LF Carmona – CF Stevenson – RF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – 3B Nunley – SS Bullock – 2B Stalker – C Olivares – P Garrett
IND: LF Otero – 3B J. Jackson – 1B M. Rucker – RF C. Martinez – CF Genge – C J. White – 2B B. Reyes – SS Rolland – P Savoie

Savoie yielded a pair in the first; after Cookie walked, Mendoza hit a double to centerfield. Gil Rockwell famously drove in a run with a groundout, and Nunley hit an RBI single. It didn’t take long for Tragic Travis to allow the Indians to respond. He issued a leadoff double to Lowell Genge in the second inning, as well as another single and two walks before he faced Justin Jackson with the bags full and two outs. Can we just send a reliever right now? Jackson struck out, the Coons carried a 2-1 lead to the third inning, but it was amazing how little trust remained in the personnel that remained.

While the Raccoons’ middle of the order neatly rotated the title of Double Play Doofus, with Nunley being it in the third inning with Mendoza and Rockwell on base (although Mendoza had only reached on a fielder’s choice to begin with…), Garrett sucked balls. He walked Rucker AND Martinez to begin the bottom 3rd, before Lowell Genge looped a ball into shallow right for a single. Mendoza came in nonchalantly and graciously let the ball escape under his glove for an error. That one tied the game, put runners in scoring positon, and oh, there were still no outs. Two pitches later, Jamal White’s 2-run single to center gave the Indians a 4-2 lead. Reyes singled, and Garrett only made it out of the inning because he invariably arrived at the pitcher at some point. But, funny point about pitchers… Savoie came up to bat again in the bottom 5th, two outs, Bob Reyes – who had been drilled by Garrett – on second base. It was already 5-2 after a Genge leadoff jack, and Savoie was almost certainly Garrett’s final batter anyway, but the baseball gods couldn’t let Tragic Travis ride off into the sunset without one more low kick. Savoie singled sharply to center, Reyes scored, and it was 6-2. We should just glance over the 1.1 innings pitched by Logan Sloan afterwards in which he allowed four hits and a walk and somehow got away with only one run on his ledger, undeservedly, and make one final remark about the absolutely putrid hitting display the Critters put forth. Savoie lasted eight and two thirds, being outdone only by his own exhaustion and then his defense. The Raccoons scattered eight hits in eight innings without achieving any greater good; in the ninth inning, Savoie, still up 7-2, retired Pelles and Stalker to begin the inning before Danny Rice hit his 118th pitch, a hanging 0-2 offering, to shallow left for a soft single. Guillermo Aponte also hit a soft single. After that, Cookie grounded sharply to Bob Reyes, for what would finally have been the third out, if Reyes hadn’t fumbled the ball. The bases were loaded, and closer Tony Lino (6.06 ERA) had to come in after all. Graves hit for Stevenson to counter him, but grounded out. 7-2 Indians. Mendoza 2-4, 2B; Rice (PH) 1-1;

We would get to Alvin Smith after all in the Sunday game, as he would oppose Rico Gutierrez in his debut. The Raccoons entered the game in fifth place, completely crashing day after day as they went along.

Game 3
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – 3B Nunley – 1B Mendoza – RF Graves – C Rice – 2B Pelles – CF Romero – P Gutierrez
IND: LF D. Morales – 3B J. Jackson – C J. White – RF C. Martinez – 1B M. Rucker – SS Rolland – 2B B. Reyes – CF Otero – P A. Smith

Gutierrez’ first big-league pitch yielded a grounder to Bullock and a quick first out. Jamal White would get an infield single in deserted territory near the first base line in that inning as well, so those were two boxes ticked for young Rico from Santo Domingo. The next ‘first’ to tick off was getting absolutely ****ing bombed, and Mike Rucker’s leadoff jack in the bottom 2nd sure ticked that box. By then, the Raccoons had stranded pairs of runners twice, with Graves grounding out to Reyes in the first inning, and Cookie flying out to Danny Morales in the second. Smith would be Gutierrez’ first career strikeout, then started the third with walks to Bullock, who pointlessly stole second base, and Nunley. Mendoza promptly struck out, Graves flew out to left, but at least Danny Rice got a ****ing 0-2 pitch to fall into shallow center, plating Bullock with the tying run.

The top of the fourth saw the bases loaded for Nunley and one out. Romero had hit a leadoff double, and Smith had walked Cookie and Bullock to fill the sacks. Nunley had to do this, because after that was Mendoza, who was batting about negative one-seventy with runners in scoring position, or even players in the dugout, or even somebody vaguely existing in the same zip code as him. Nunley came through, ticketing a quick bouncer up the middle and into centerfield to score two. The ball hit the back of the mound to gain further acceleration, rendering it impossible to cut off for the middle infielders. Mendoza hit a sac fly, which was not impossible even for a -.170 batter with runners in scoring position, and Graves would ground out to end the inning with a 4-1 score. How ‘bout that, Rico? The suckers gave ya a lead!

By my count, Gutierrez conceded four rockets in the fourth inning, facing four batters. The Indians scored no runs, but it was an inches thing. Martinez singled to center, hard, leading off, after which Rucker lined, hard, to first base. Mendoza only marginally had to raise his arm to catch it, then tap the returning Martinez. Jaylen Rolland’s single with two outs turned out to be negligible once Reyes grounded out, hard, to short. Rice’s leadoff jack in the top 5th raised the score to 5-1 and also got rid of Smith, with right-hander Manny Ortega replacing him and walking Rice intentionally when he came up with two down in the sixth. Mendoza was on second base after singling and stealing, and this was the third intentional walk the Indians issued in the game. The other two had gone to *Cookie*. What did COOKIE do to you monsters!?

How long would Gutierrez last? Well, with a 4-run lead you could leave him out there for a while. The Indians were thankfully(?) seeing his pitches well and were swinging eagerly, which was not something translating into strikeouts (only Jackson had gone down on strikes aside from Smith), but a brisk pace and lots of 0-0 pitches ending up in play. Jaylen Rolland hit a leadoff double in the bottom 7th and came home on Ryan Georges’ pinch-hit 2-out single, so there was that, but the lead was still 5-2, and Gutierrez needed only 75 pitches through seven innings. After two easy outs by Jackson and White in the bottom 8th, Martinez singled to center. That brought up Rucker, who had homered in the second, but was also an overly-eager left-handed batter with almost as many career strikeouts as base hits. Gutierrez wasn’t going to strike out anybody here. That required reaching two strikes to begin with, which in turn required not having the 0-0 or 0-1 being put in play all the time. Rucker hit a ball to right, but it was nowhere near a homer, and Graves made the catch, ending the eighth. Was that all or was there more on the way? With Brett Lillis warming up, Danny Rice hit another bomb in the top of the ninth off Jerry Counts, which moved the game out of save range, and that meant that Gutierrez started the bottom of the ninth of his debut on the mound, Rolland, Reyes, and Leo Otero up in the inning. Rolland flew out to Graves. Reyes struck out. And Leo Otero hit a liner at the second baseman, Ruben Pelles bobbled it once, but then held on – game over, and a complete one at that! 6-2 Coons. Nunley 3-4, BB, 2 RBI; Rice 3-4, BB, 2 HR, 3 RBI; Romero 3-5, 2 2B; Gutierrez 9.0 IP, 9 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 0 BB, 4 K, W (1-0);

In other news

June 14 – The Pacifics will shut down SP Vincent Alfaro (1-7, 5.24 ERA) for a month due to shoulder inflammation.
June 14 – SFB OF Dave Garcia (.275, 1 HR, 7 RBI) goes to the DL, which is technically not news. The 27-year old with a total of 80 AB this season starts his third DL stint of the year due to a bruised wrist and will be out until the All Star Game.
June 15 – As the Thunder demolish the Miners, 17-3, OCT 3B Bobby Marshall (.346, 0 HR, 42 RBI) shines with a 3-for-6 day, with two doubles and four runs driven in.
June 17 – NAS C Armando Leal (.318, 3 HR, 24 RBI) extends his hitting streak to 20 games with a 2-hit outing in the Blue Sox’ 8-4 win over the Miners.
June 17 – A walkoff home run by WAS SS Tom McWhorter (.273, 10 HR, 47 RBI) is the only tally in the Capitals’ 1-0 win over the Cyclones.
June 18 – 39-year-old Milwaukee pinch-hitter Jose “Dingus” Morales (.200, 0 HR, 4 RBI) has his 2,500th career base hit in the Loggers’ 5-4 win over the Canadiens. Morales is a career .327 batter with 352 home runs and a sure future Hall of Famer, already laden with five Player of the Year awards and a 12-time All Star. Even last year, he achieved a .922 OPS as the Loggers’ go-to pinch-hitter, appearing in the starting lineup only eight times.
June 18 – The Rebels grab 32-year old DEN RF/CF John Wilson (.260, 4 HR, 23 RBI), leaving the Gold Sox with a 27-year old AAA outfielder in Carlos De Santiago and a non-prospect.
June 19 – SFB 1B/OF Rafael Gomez (.302, 8 HR, 43 RBI) becomes the first player this year to hit for the cycle, doing so in the Bayhawks’ 13-inning, 8-6 win over the Thunder in Oklahoma City. Gomez goes 4-for-7, landing all kinds of hits exactly once, including the game-winning double in the 13th inning. This is the 70th cycle in ABL history, and the third for the Bayhawks franchise, joining Antonio Rodriguez (1997) and Dave Garcia (2018).
June 19 – 2021 CL Player of the Year MIL CF/RF Ian Coleman (.315, 5 HR, 29 RBI) will miss up to a month with a broken foot.
June 19 – VAN C Ryan Holliman (.258, 15 HR, 46 RBI) is sidelined by knee tendinitis and is expected to miss a month.

Complaints and stuff

Proven this week: you can not commit suicide on the conveyor belts in a common airport’s baggage claim area. Heaven knows I tried, and it took the staff a long time to poke me out of the cavities of the machine.

Has this been going on since last year? Why didn’t Jonny say anything? Why does it have to be this way?

(steps to the window and looks into the darkness) Such a wonderful night. Wouldn’t it be great if it could never end?

Fun Fact: Rico Gutierrez is the first rookie to pitch a complete game this season.

Which reminds me of Jonny Toner, who pitched five shutouts in his first full season in the – (bursts into tears spontaneously) WHY IS LIFE SO HARD …!!?? (wipes off snort with Steve from Accounting’s tie)

[Westheim]

2022 AMATEUR DRAFT

Wednesday was also draft night, with the Raccoons, who had the 18th pick in every round, and nothing more, hoping against hope to pick somebody from their hotlist:

SP Nick Danieley (14/14/12) – BNN #2
SP Peter Gill (11/13/9) * - BNN #10
SP Ben Darr (10/14/11) * - BNN #4
SP Erik David (13/11/12) – BNN #5
SP Dave Christiansen (10/13/11) *

CL Ricky Ohl (17/13/9)

1B Cameron Meachum (8/12/14)
SS/3B Butch Gerster (10/4/12)
INF/LF John Kelley (9/7/12)

OF Mike Chaplin (9/10/13) – BNN #1
OF Todd Eminger (10/8/10)
OF David Allard (11/7/11)
OF Mark Walker (9/9/13)

The more I looked at his profile, the more I liked Ricky Ohl. There is something about high-stuff relievers, especially when they are young and controllable … financially, young relievers never have any control over their pitches… And since I was doubting that we could get a top-notch starting pitcher with the 18th pick, Ohl became the more attractive.

There was no way to get the top-flight pitcher in many’s book in this draft, Nick Danieley, unless you were the Buffaloes. They swooped him up with the #1 pick. Peter Gill to the Thunder, and Mike Chaplin to the ****ing Elks soon followed in the top 3. The top 5 were completed by Dave Christiansen (to L.A.) and Erik David (to Dallas).

That left only one starting pitcher on the hotlist … and Ben Darr fell to the Indians as early as #6. Suddenly I felt uneasy about our chances of ever drafting Ricky Ohl at all. The next few picks did not come off the hotlist until #10 (Eminger to New York), and at #13 the damn Capitals sniped Ricky Ohl when I almost had my fingers on the oddly-coloured tie he was wearing. I wept as the Capitals GM walked off the stage with him.

That left only batters on the hotlist. I was a fan of Mark Walker’s college stats, but the Druid had written something about tornados in Laredo, and wasn’t that the Pacifics’ double-A team’s home? Tornados mean whiffs – and I can’t have no whiffs on my team, nor tornados. Butch Gerster was an appealing pick because he had something solid that could not be taken away from him that easily, defense and speed – although a car crash f.e. could do grisly things to the human body AND WHAT I AM EVEN DOING HERE SIGN THIS KID

The mind wanders. Gerster was the first-round pick for the Critters, and Walker went at #22 to the Knights. David Allard was taken 36th overall by the Aces, and Cameron Meachum ended up being taken 54th overall by the Warriors, four picks ahead of the Coons’ second chance. The Raccoons were left with John Kelley, a versatile defender. He could do more stuff defensively than Gerster, but was not that much of a batter; thus the hotlist was exhausted.

2022 PORTLAND RACCOONS DRAFT CLASS

Round 1 (#18) – SS/3B Butch Gerster, 21, from Moss Bluff, LA – highly talented shortstop, excellent defense with huge range and an extremely precise arm and sure hands; also very fast; bat is more of the high-OBP kind than one that promises power outbursts, although he should be able to hit five or seven dingers at the major league level every year
Round 2 (#58) – INF/LF John Kelley, 21, from West DeLand, FL – versatile defender and probable utility player, good speed, solid contact bat, maybe too trigger-happy
Round 3 (#82) – SP Matthew Humes, 20, from Utica, NY – right-hander, throws 91, and complements that fastball with a good fork and a maybe-changeup? There are also some control issues to be ironed out according to the scouting report, although OSA is more favorable on him overall… so this is very much a second-opinion pick that our scouting director very much objects to
Round 4 (#106) – 1B/OF Ryan Allan, 20, from Thornton, CO – contact batter with good eye and discipline that does not hack wildly, with good defensive attributes and great range, so he does most likely project as a centerfielder since he is largely starved for power. He bats left-handed.
Round 5 (#130) – OF Scott Bahl, 18, from Newton, MA – another defensive centerfielder type with speed, contact bat, and decent discipline; Bahl, who had the most likely ironic nickname “Boom Boom” completely lacked power of any kind at this point and projected as a singles slapper, but we have a certain Cookie on the roster that likes to claim that slapping singles ain’t all bad
Round 6 (#154) – 2B Brian Hage, 18, from Pottstown, PA – not enough arm strength to make it on the left side of the diamond, so this kid is going to be limited to the keystone despite great range that would suit a shortstop; contact bat, but not very selective in his approach
Round 7 (#178) – MR Michael White, 20, from Newport News, VA – right-hander throwing 91mph, also has a changeup and a splitter; I wonder whether it’s worth the hassle to try and stretch him out, but he has three distintictive and non-terrible pitches to begin with, so it might be worth a try making him a starter in single-A…
Round 8 (#202) – SP Arnold Bond, 19, from Twin Lake, MI – right-hander with a 87mph fastball(?), also a decent curve. Not much of a third pitch that we can make out, though…
Round 9 (#226) – OF Juan Magallanes, 18, from Tulua, Colombia – odd switch-hitting, Colombian kid attending a small Jewish high school in Brooklyn; there must be some magic hidden in the ninth round here that his scouting report can’t show…
Round 10 (#250) – SP Jordan Ponce, 17, from Caguas, Puerto Rico – left-hander throwing it at merely 86, but he hasn’t filled out that 6’ frame yet, so maybe there is more to come; quite a nice curveball that he has, but no third pitch to complement that repertoire
Round 11 (#274) – MR Joe Ashe, 20, from Mobile, AL – this year’s Nick Brown Memorial Pick is a left-hander winging the ball at 90mph, with said ball generally ending up somewhere in the protective netting; has a changeup to add to the fastball, but they both end up in the netting and it is hard to tell them apart as you’re ducking in panic
Round 12 (#298) – C Andrew Lanza, 19, from Sulphur, LA – by head count, we can use another low-minors catcher, which is mostly all of the reasons why he got drafted at all
Round 13 (#322) – SP Steve Lehman, 19, from Corona, CA – another left-hander, and another 87mph heater; movement is there, control, eh, oh well, and oh dear…

Aside from Gerster, who was assigned to AA Ham Lake, all draft picks were to start out their professional careers in Aumsville, and I was quite sure that some of them would also finish them there eventually.

Of course we also had to release plenty of players. These included in no particular order: 2017 Nick Brown Memorial Pick Ken Shelton, who had become extremely struck in AA Ham Lake; 2019 third-rounder Cory Weeden, who at almost 24 years old did not have the vaguest concept of the strike zone; 2021 tenth-rounder Kyle Oglesby, who was challenging hard to walk nine per nine innings in Aumsville; 2020 Nick Brown Memorial Pick Danny Russell, who had acquired the nickname “Human Catapult” in Aumsville, which was a bad nickname for a pitcher; 2020 thirteenth-rounder Eddie Shipley, who was bravely soldering on in Aumsville with a 6.53 ERA; and 2021 twelveth-rounder 2B Brian Higgins, who couldn’t hit the snooze button on his alarm clock;

[Westheim]

Raccoons (34-34) vs. Crusaders (34-35) – June 20-22, 2022

There was not much scoring going on in Crusaders games; they ranked second from the bottom in runs scored, but had the best pitching in the league. Oh if only they had some batters! I heard the Raccoons Players Shop is going to open soon? The ‘best pitching’ was mainly the rotation, which held a 3.04 ERA – leading the Continental League – but their relievers were more average. The Crusaders had so far handled the Raccoons well enough, beating them for four of six games this year.

Projected matchups:
Frank Kelly (5-3, 3.00 ERA) vs. Cody Zimmerman (4-8, 3.62 ERA)
Bobby Guerrero (4-7, 4.67 ERA) vs. Dave Butler (3-1, 2.65 ERA)
Ryan Nielson (1-1, 2.29 ERA) vs. Alejandro Mendez (3-5, 3.81 ERA)

We weren’t sure about the Crusaders’ rotation setup for this series exactly, especially as far as Wednesday was concerned. Zimmerman and Butler were their two left-handed starters; between “Ant” Mendez and Mike Rutkowski (8-2, 1.99 ERA) it was a toss-up on Wednesday, since both of those had pitched in a double header on Saturday.

Game 1
NYC: SS R. Avila – 3B Schmit – 2B S. Valdez – 1B Perkins – C A. Gonzales – CF Loya – LF J. Williams – RF Peters – P Zimmerman
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – RF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – 3B Nunley – 2B Stalker – C Rice – CF Stevenson – P Kelly

This game’s story began the week before, with Jonathan Toner’s move to the disabled list, probably for the balance of the season, maybe with enough time for a cameo in September. In his absence, Frank Kelly was going to be the ace of staff (as long as he wasn’t traded? And who’d gonna be it then? TRAVIS GARRETT??), and he was on tap for the opener of this series, the Raccoons’ first game back at home since the Toner injury. The fans knew their team was doomed at this point – there was no nice-talking it anymore. From 34-34, there was only one way – down hard. How down and how hard it was going to be became apparent quickly not because of Kelly’s pitching in the game, but even before the game, in one of the more infamously botched ceremonial first pitch stunts in the history of the game. Someone in the Raccoons’ front office hadn’t entirely thought things through when they invited a 17-year old former Portland gymnast to throw out the first pitch … after he had been rendered a quadriplegic in a training accident. There the kid sat in his wheelchair, unable to move, a baseball in his lap, when the public address announcer, after a friendly introduction, warm applause from the crowd, and the odd tear or two, declared that Justin would now deliver the first pitch of the game. Then nothing moved, for 20 seconds in stunned silence, until the last smile had faced from the roughly 22,000 faces in the park. What now? After an eternity, during which I opened a fresh bottle of trusty ol’ Captain Coma, and during which cameras had enough time to catch even four different Crusaders hiding their faces in their palms or behind their caps, or, in the case of their manager, a tablet PC, Matt Nunley – who had presented the kid with a uniform signed by all the roster inhabitants (and the DL dwellers) – came forth again, grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and wheeled Justin to home plate, where Danny Rice picked the ball from his lap and held it up, joyful and triumphant. Success! Everybody cheer again!

From here, it was only going to go down.

Jake Williams’ ninth home run of the season was a leadoff jack in the third inning, a huge bomb surrendered by Frank Kelly, who had ended the second inning by grounding to Andy Schmit for a double play with the bases loaded. Williams’ homer tied the game, negating Danny Rice’s RBI single in the bottom 2nd, plating Gil Rockwell, who had drawn a leadoff walk off Zimmerman. That was the Coons’ second double play grounder in the game, following Bullock’s in the first, which erased Cookie from first base; Cookie made it to second base in his next appearance, walking and stealing, but was then left there stranded.

Kelly struck Andy Schmit with a pitch leading off the fourth inning. The following mound conference, with two power left-handers coming up and the smell of decay all around the park, was sniped at the perfect moment and was on the front page of the Portland Agitator the following morning. Kelly, Bullock, Rockwell, Nunley, Rice, and the pitching coach – all looking down at the same time. Above all that, ten letters: END OF AN ERA. Schmit would not score; both Sergio Valdez and Josh Perkins made hard outs to deep left, Cookie being all over the place to stave off the inevitable. While the Crusaders didn’t plate Schmit in this inning, they sure did in the sixth, plus a whole host of others. Schmit then hit a leadoff single through an increasingly unmovable Gil Rockwell, who had less range than the quadriplegic kid that took in the game from the good seats behind home plate and saw singles by Valdez, Perkins – that one claiming a 2-1 lead for New York – then a run-scoring groundout by Alfonso Gonzales. Two down, Jake Williams hit an RBI double to right center, 4-1, before Kelly finally clambered out of the inning. He would finish seven, but Zimmerman went eight, hardly allowing anything but soft grounders and pops in the middle and late innings. The Raccoons had nothing cooking at all, then faced unseeming-but-ridiculously-tough Steve Casey in the ninth inning. Rice’s 1-out walk was all they got between Stalker’s pop out, Zach Graves whiffing, and Ruben Pelles rolling the final ball of the game over to Schmit. 4-1 Crusaders. Carmona 2-3, BB; Stevenson 1-2, BB; Pelles (PH) 1-2;

Nowhere to go but down.

Tuesday brought a rainout, so even the weather was going down. A double header was scheduled for Wednesday with weather still iffy and only maybe permissible to play two. We’d roll the dice, huh? In any case, the starters for the displaced middle game remained the same. The double header itself was not that hard for us, since we had a scheduled off day on Thursday, although between Guerrero and Nielson you don’t know whom to pencil in the long man for.

We started the day in fourth place. If the double header would go particularly badly, we could easily wind up in fifth place behind the Elks…

Game 2
NYC: SS R. Avila – 3B Schmit – 2B S. Valdez – C A. Gonzales – CF Loya – LF J. Williams – 1B A. Young – RF Peters – P D. Butler
POR: LF Carmona – 3B Bullock – RF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – 2B Pelles – CF Stevenson – SS Stalker – C Olivares – P Guerrero

Straight singles by Pelles, Stevenson, and Stalker loaded the bases in the bottom of the second inning, with nobody out for Olivares, who was valiantly fighting off the Mendoza line (not *that* Mendoza) that tried to swallow him. The count on Ezequiel ran full, and before he could make a fool out of himself he decided to just stick his fat hairy bum across home plate as the 3-2 pitch whizzed in. Hit by the pitch, he forced in the first run of the game – great success! Guerrero helped himself with a run-scoring groundout, but that was the Coons’ last run in the inning. Cookie grounded out to Adam Young (…!!) at first base, holding the remaining runners pinned, and after Bullock walked, Mendoza (…!!) struck out with the bases loaded. Guerrero would come to bat again with the bases loaded right in the next inning, and again one run (Rockwell after a leadoff single) was already in, having been scored on Stevenson’s sac fly. Apart from that, Pelles and Stalker were on with singles, and Olivares had reached on Butler’s throwing error on a grounder that should have ended the inning with a double play, really. Guerrero grounded slowly to the left side, Schmit had to hurry and fielded the ball barehanded and without much in terms of righting himself; it promptly sailed over Young’s head and plated two runs. Cookie would hit an RBI single, 6-0, and the inning would reliably end again with Mendoza.

The Crusaders in the fourth responded with some quick action. Sergio Valdez hit a jack, 6-1, before Gonzales singled to left and Ricky Loya walked. Two on, no outs, Williams was caught out on a borderline 3-2 pitch before Adam Young, ever the sucker for negative attention, hit into a double play, causing the Crusaders manager to once more press a tablet to his forehead in agony. Yeah, right, Bob! I also endured that for years!! Suck it!!

Talking of sucking… the Crusaders had the bases loaded with no outs in the fifth inning. Following Chris Peters’ single, Guerrero had walked both PH Amari Brissett and Ricky Avila, and the 6-1 lead looked like a deficit already. All runners would score; Schmit’s sac fly, Valdez’ grounder to Rockwell, and Gonzales’ 2-out single all plated one run each before Loya struck out in the 6-4 game. While the Raccoons had nothing going offensively at this stage, Guerrero was on close watch – one more guy reaches base, he’s gonna get flogged! Wonderously, the Crusaders failed to put a man aboard in either the sixth or seventh innings, with Guerrero retiring the last seven batters he faced in the game to reach the same mark as Kelly two days earlier: four runs over seven innings, a.k.a. what ****ty teams qualify as passing grade. Bottom 8th, ****ty Tim Stalker hit a leadoff double, the first loud noise coming forth from the Critters camp in a while. Rice batted for Olivares and walked, Nunley batted for Noah Bricker and struck out, Crusaders right-hander Jeremy Waite balked, and then Cookie got walked intentionally. Zach Graves batted for Daniel Bullock and struck out, bringing up everybody’s darling Mendoza again with 0-for-4, 6 LOB on his ledger already. Now, the ****er poked at a 3-1 pitch and fouled out to Schmit, after which Brett Lillis got torn in half, right down the middle.

Williams and Jason Travis began the ninth with floating bloop singles, and a walk to Josh Perkins loaded the sacks with nobody out. Left-handed pinch-hitter Steve Witt struck out, and after that Ricky Avila grounded to short. That was gonna be it – off the hook after aAAAHH STALKER OVERRAN THE BALL…!!! The error scored a run and the Crusaders were so befuddled they almost got Perkins picked off second base after the fact. Bases still loaded for Schmit, who grounded the first pitch he saw from Lillis back to the mound. Excited like a young puppy at a new plaything, Lillis fell on the ball, scrambled and mightily windmilled with all four limbs, but that wasn’t gonna get him an out. Generously scored an RBI single for Schmit, this particular farce tied the game. Valdez grounded to Pelles, who threw to Stalker for one, but Stalker’s throw to first was late, the runner safe, and the go-ahead run across home plate. Gonzales’ single to right added an insurance run before Loya struck out to end a 4-run ninth. Stunningly, back-to-back home runs by Ruben Pelles and Josh Stevenson would stave off defeat in the bottom of the ninth inning – and off Steve Casey nonetheless!

In what quickly turned into one of these “maybe it will last forever” games, the Raccoons had Gil Rockwell reach and steal a base in the bottom 11th to no avail. Matt Nunley, batting ninth after remaining in the game, made an error in the 12th that almost, but not quite, unhorsed Joe Moore, with the Raccoons getting Tim Stalker as far as third base in the bottom of the inning, but neither Nunley nor Cookie could get him in against left-hander Tim Dunn. By then, all pitching assignments had been wiped clean off the table. Ryan Nielson, who was ready to go for his start in the second leg of the double header, entered the fray in the 13th inning, with Travis Garrett sent to the pen to warm up to make the start instead, should this game ever end at all. Schmit and Valdez singled off Nielson in the 13th, but couldn’t overturn him. Nielson led off the bottom 13th by striking out (hey, we’re out of players…) bringing up an 0-for-6, 9 LOB Mendoza. Hey, there’s nobody on base, maybe he can knock one. (nervous, crazed laughter) And then he knocked one. 9-8 Furballs. Rockwell 2-6; Pelles 3-6, HR, RBI; Stevenson 2-5, HR, 2 RBI; Stalker 4-6, 2B; Moore 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 4 K;

Okay, that was a good investment of a starting pitcher. **** Mendoza? However, Nielson had thrown only 12 pitches, and given the off day we could weave him back into the rotation on the weekend. Garrett took over the second game of the day on short rest, but it’s not like he’s any good with regular rest either.

Game 3
NYC: SS R. Avila – 3B Schmit – 2B S. Valdez – 1B Perkins – CF Loya – LF J. Williams – C Travis – RF Peters – P Rutkowski
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – 3B Nunley – 1B Mendoza – RF Graves – C Rice – CF Romero – 2B Aponte – P Garrett

Four pitches into the game, the Crusaders had a 1-0 lead, with Ricky Avila singling, getting balked to second base, and scoring on Andy Schmit’s single. Josh Perkins would drive in another run in the inning, in which Garrett saw five batters and threw only ten pitches. #11 would be whopped over the rightfield fence by Williams in the second inning, and I was not sure whether Garrett knew that we only had three relievers left in the pen: Sloan, Sugano, and Dew. Walks to Avila and Schmit were bad ways to start the third inning, too, and Garrett soon got raked some more with Valdez’ RBI double and Perkins’ sac fly, running the score to 5-0. After Jason Travis’ leadoff jack in the fourth inning, Logan Sloan had to come in, because there was some basic human decency left in the management of this team and this was precisely the right time to kick Garrett down the stairs to the tunnel leading to the clubhouse. Not that Sloan on the mound brought a noticeable improvement; Jake Williams hit a 2-piece off him in the fifth…

At that point, down 8-0, the Coons were still being no-hit by Rutkowski, although Danny Rice would single in the bottom 5th to stave off that threat. Meanwhile the Crusaders continued to score in every inning. After allowing two more base hits, Sloan was yanked with two outs in the sixth, but Manobu Sugano brought no noticeable relief. Josh Perkins hit an RBI single, 9-0, and he walked the right-handed Loya before K’ing Williams, who smelled three dingers in a game going onto his resume. Sugano managed a scoreless seventh, though – let’s just not go in to Mike Rutkowski’s 2-out infield single much… A particular highlight in the game would soon be Ricardo Romero drawing a leadoff walk in the bottom of the eighth inning – then getting caught stealing. This was one pitch before Guillermo Aponte hit a home run. Two more base hits got Rutkowski out of the game, with Nunley hitting an RBI single off left-hander Bryce Neal, but the inning would end with Cory Dew grounding out in the vacated cleanup slot – and he was our last pitcher of any kind. He also prevented Williams from going deep again in the ninth inning … but not Jason Travis hitting a blast to centerfield, giving him two in the game as well. That was the Crusaders’ last homer; the Raccoons would plate two runs on Adonis Foster in the bottom 9th, both scoring on Stalker’s 2-run double with two outs, but they had lost the game a long time ago… 10-4 Crusaders. Nunley 2-4, 2B, RBI; Aponte 2-4, HR, RBI; Stalker 1-2, 2B, 2 RBI;

Aponte’s decent game helped him nothing; when Sam Armetta came off the DL by Friday, Aponte was sent back to St. Petersburg.

Raccoons (35-36) @ Falcons (43-30) – June 24-26, 2022

The Falcons were leading the CL South, and their Pat Fowlkes had since overtaken a floundering Cookie Carmona in the batting title race in the Continental League, too. We had taken two out of three games from them earlier in the season, but that had been during the first week of the season when they had been clearly soul-searching, getting off to a 3-5 start. After that they quickly reeled off a 9-game winning streak to still go 17-7 in April, but things had slowed down noticeably for them in June, with an 11-10 month on the table for them so far. They were fifth in runs scored and seventh in runs allowed, so far from a team owning a convincing set of stats. As a matter of fact, they were more games above .500 than they had out-scored their opponents in terms of runs, with only a +6 run differential and they had been routinely beaten around the last few weeks, conceding seven or more runs nine times this month. For what it was worth, even the lowly Raccoons had only conceded 7+ five times in June.

Projected matchups:
Rico Gutierrez (1-0, 2.00 ERA) vs. Brian Benjamin (7-6, 5.01 ERA)
Ryan Nielson (2-1, 2.18 ERA) vs. Jim Bryant (5-7, 3.55 ERA)
Frank Kelly (5-4, 3.15 ERA) vs. Denzel Durr (3-2, 3.44 ERA)

Look at that – only winning records for our guys! Such a great team!

The Falcons had only right-handed starters even with one of their young pitching hopes, Kyle Anderson (6-5, 3.07 ERA) on the DL. They were also without their third baseman, Ryan Czachor, although he had only batted .211 with three homers in his first 45 games of the season. Meh, I’ll stick with Nunley.

Game 1
POR: 2B Good – CF LeMoine – 1B Fowlkes – RF Feldmann – LF Benson – C T. Robinson – SS J. Estrada – 3B A. Walker – P Benjamin
CHA: LF Carmona – CF Stevenson – 3B Nunley – 1B Mendoza – RF Graves – C Rice – SS Stalker – 2B Pelles – P Gutierrez

Rico Gutierrez issued a leadoff walk to speedy Matt Good, made a throwing error and threw a wild pitch, all in the first inning, and somehow still didn’t allow a run. The Coons would score first, Pelles singling in Stalker with two outs in the second inning, and in the third a wild pitch by Benjamin plated Cookie, who had laced a leadoff triple. Up 2-0, Gutierrez issued a leadoff walk to the opposing pitcher in the bottom of the third inning, bur somehow that runner was still on first base when Pat Fowlkes popped up with two outs. Danny Rice under it, waving, waving… screaming? The ball dropped behind him… he never saw it. It was a foul ball, giving Fowlkes another attempt at adding to his 12 home runs this season. Two pitches later, he singled to center, but Ryan Feldmann struck out to leave the runners on base anyway.

Gutierrez made it through five unharmed, although it constantly looked like the ground was going to open underneath his feet and swallow him whole. Matt Good hit a 2-out triple into the rightfield corner in the bottom of the fifth, followed by former Logger Chris LeMoine, batting a mysteriously low .216 with seven homers, drilling a ball HARD to centerfield. Stevenson had played deep, but what good was that when the ball would break the plane over the fence? It didn’t, dropping into Stevenson’s glove on the warning track in centerfield – too high, not long enough, but a mighty blast nevertheless. Teams scored no runs and stranded five combined in the sixth inning, with Gutierrez leaving two on when Juan Estrada popped out to Mendoza, who had been one of the three batters left on base in the top of the inning when Tim Stalker had sailed out easily to centerfield. Andy Walker led off the bottom 7th with a blooping single to right center, but then got forced out on a poor bunt by Benjamin that Matt Nunley hurled vigorously to second base. Good grounded into a double play, with Gutierrez consistently eloping every threat. Gutierrez struck out LeMoine to start the eighth before getting a pat on the bum for a job tremendously well done; he had reached 100 pitches, and right-handers were coming up, and “Bloody” Bricker was going to come in and finished the inning without allowing a runner. The Raccoons had another chance to increase the score in the ninth inning, bringing up the top of the order with one out and the bases loaded against Dusty Balzer and his mixed career record. Stalker had singled, Rockwell had reached on an error, and then Sam Armetta had singled to center. Cookie disappointed us here, hitting into a force at home, but Stevenson and Nunley both hit singles to center, scoring three runs total before Mendoza predictably whiffed. 5-0 Coons. Stevenson 2-5, 2 RBI; Nunley 3-5, RBI; Stalker 2-4, 2B; Armetta (PH) 1-1; Gutierrez 7.1 IP, 6 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 4 K, W (2-0);

Game 2
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – 3B Nunley – C Rice – 1B Rockwell – RF Graves – 2B Stalker – CF Stevenson – P Nielson
CHA: 2B Good – SS Tanaka – 1B Fowlkes – RF Feldmann – LF Benson – C T. Robinson – CF LeMoine – 3B J. Estrada – P Bryant

The game dingled along for the first few innings without either team getting much of an upside over the opposing pitcher. Matt Nunley’s deep fly to center to lead off the fourth inning was a bit of a wake-up call perhaps, although it was caught by LeMoine. Bryant walked the next two batters, but Graves’ grounder that forced out Rockwell at second base, and Stalker’s easy fly to center were not going to get anybody in. Both teams would have three base hits through five innings. In the Raccoons’ case, all the hits were Cookie’s who thus in a live scoring update reclaimed first place in the batting race from Fowlkes, .343 to .342!

Rice would become the first non-bakery item to land a base hit for the Raccoons, singling to right with one out in the sixth inning, and Rockwell became the first non-edible batter with a base hit, doubling past Feldmann. Rice was too slow to score, presenting a foundering Zach Graves with runners in scoring position and one out. Graves was 1-for-his-last-16, and that included a lot of pinch-hitting. He wasn’t getting regular playing time, and it showed; he struck out. Tim Stalker however came through, cracking a 2-2 pitch over the head of Estrada and up the leftfield line, where it bounced barely fair and then went into the corner for a 2-out double, the first runs in the game. Stevenson got walked intentionally, but Nielson knocked an RBI single past Estrada to get the score to 3-0 in his favor. Cookie laced a ball to center, but LeMoine was to be found on the other end of that line drive, giving Cookie his first retirement in the game.

Nielson pitched six scoreless for the time being, while Bryant didn’t make it past the seventh, or through it. Bullock led off with a double to right, and advanced to third base on a wild pitch. Nunley and Rice made poor outs, however, keeping the runner stranded while J.J. Rodd, a southpaw, had taken over. He walked Rockwell and had Graves in the ropes again before drilling him. That pulled up Stalker with the sacks stacked, and Stalker turned on another 2-2 pitch and dished it to deep left. Uh, that one looks good. Good – better – gone! GRAAAAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM!!!!!

Nielson pitched eight shutout innings and started the ninth, but a lengthy battle with Ryozo Tanaka resulted in a leadoff walk and 108 pitches on the clock, and that was enough. Sloan replaced him, got a double play grounder from Fowlkes, and then another grounder from Feldmann to end the game. 7-0 Critters! Carmona 3-4, BB; Stalker 2-5, HR, 2B, 6 RBI; Nielson 8.0 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 4 K, W (3-1) and 1-4, RBI;

For the record, the Falcons were now leading their division in late June despite a -6 run differential. They were also the only winning team in that division, whatever that said about the division.

Game 3
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – 3B Nunley – RF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – 2B Stalker – CF Romero – C Olivares – P Kelly
CHA: 2B J. Estrada – C T. Robinson – 1B Fowlkes – 3B Good – RF Feldmann – LF Benson – SS A. Walker – CF LeMoine – P Durr

After what basically amounted to spillage when the baseball gods distributed pitching abilities to newborn baby boys had shut out the Falcons for consecutive days, Frank Kelly, who was praised as valid #2 by us before the season, hit Juan Estrada to begin his day (and on an 0-2 pitch), then proceeded to concede the run on Fowlkes’ RBI single, and Ryan Feldmann did not fall far form a 2-run homer in the same inning. Estrada also stole second base when neither middle infielder broke to receive Olivares’ throw. The early deficit didn’t stand though; Gil Rockwell hit a triple in the second inning and was cashed in by Saturday’s hero, Tim Stalker, with a sac fly. Offense was mostly slow, however, in the early innings. The Falcons would reach scoring position in the second inning, but didn’t get the run across, and it wasn’t until the fifth that the 1-1 tie was broken. Romero was on second base with two outs, and from Ricardo to Ricardo, Cookie Carmona singled him in to give Kelly a 2-1 lead.

On to the sixth, where Nunley’s drive to left was caught by Travis Benson as he crashed into the rattling fence, but held on. Mendoza walked after being 0-for-2 in the game and having dropped his average even below .280, but stole second base. Rockwell came through with a howling double up the leftfield line, which added to the score, 3-1, and after that the Falcons were now scared off STALKER of all people and walked him intentionally. Nope, not wanna do business with this .244 batting rookie shortstop! Next please! Durr struck out Romero, and Olivares grounded out to short, making it the right move after all, unfortunately. The Falcons were still playing, announcing their existence with a leadoff double by ex-Titan Tim Robinson in the sixth inning. The bases got loaded with the left-handed hitters next coming up, Good singling and Benson walking, loading the sacks with two outs for Ryan Czachor’s replacement, Andy Walker, batting .236 with two homers in his age-24 rookie season. He knocked the first pitch to the right side, Stalker leapt but missed it by a few feet, and two runs scored with the speedy Good on second base, creating a 3-3 tie before LeMoine grounded out to Rockwell.

Kelly fell from grace for good in the bottom 7th. Singles by Joseph McClenon, pinch-hitting for Durr leading off, and Robinson put runners on the corners. Fowlkes flew to center, not beating Romero, but Romero also wasn’t beating McClenon scooting for home with the go-ahead run. Sugano replaced Kelly, walked Good, and only Bricker got out of the inning, with Feldmann flying out to right. The Falcons would get an insurance run in the eighth inning when Rick Farmer’s 2-out fly to left was dropped by a stumbling Cookie Carmona, allowing Andy Walker to score from second base. The Critters would get the tying run to the plate in the ninth, if only because Dusty Balzer drilled Zach Graves with one out. Rice batted for Olivares but grounded into a force, and after that Pelles batted for Bricker and grounded slowly past the mound. Estrada had to play this one quick, but lobbed it away, the ball sailing into the Coons’ dugout, sending Critters scattering all over the place and Matt Nunley to bicker furiously from the top of the dugout. The misplay also brought up Cookie with two down and the tying runs in scoring position. Balzer got two strikes on him before throwing a 93mph fastball right down the middle and Cookie sure didn’t miss that one. Lined into right center, Feldmann came flying from the side head first, MISSED IT, and it’s into the gap! One run in, two runs in, Cookie turning second base and sliding into third base with a score-knotting triple!! COOKIIIIIEEE!! I ****ING LOVE THAT SUCKER!!! Bullock would knock him in with a single to right, giving Brett Lillis an appearance in the bottom of the inning. There was the usual 2-out panic. After Robinson and Fowlkes went down, Good singled and Feldmann walked, pulling up Benson with his nine homers. Mound conference! Nunley and Rice patiently explained to Lillis with the help of an abacus that the winning run for the Falcons was already on base and that this had to stop. Oh well, Benson was a left-hander, it would sure work out well, him batting .306 and what not. Lillis had one strike on him, two strikes on him, then surrendered a 380-footer the Mendoza never bothered running after, because there was no point. 8-6 Falcons. Carmona 3-5, 3B, 3 RBI; Bullock 2-5, RBI; Rockwell 2-4, 3B, 2B, RBI;

In other news

June 20 – The Titans beat the Loggers, 2-0, on Monday, in a game in which both teams get only two base hits, and both runs are unearned when Milwaukee’s Jon Berntson (.227, 1 HR, 8 RBI) loses track of a ball in centerfield that dumps in for a 2-base error and allows both Titans runners on base to score.
June 20 – CIN CF Nando Maiello (.280, 2 HR, 17 RBI) will miss six weeks at least with a quad strain.
June 21 – Atlanta’s SP Leon Hernandez (4-6, 3.65 ERA) nixes all of the Thunder’s scoring efforts in a 4-0, 2-hit shutout.
June 22 – Without irony, WAS LF/RF/1B Matt Hamilton (.290, 9 HR, 28 RBI) socks three home runs in the Capitals’ 11-3 rout of the Rebels. Hamilton, who also walks twice, reaches safely in all of his five plate appearances, homers off Rich Guerrero twice and off Hector Santos once, and drives in four runs in total. This is the 41st 3-homer game in ABL history and the second for the Capitals franchise; their other 3-homer game occurred 12 years earlier to the day, Bob Butler lifting three home runs in a 6-5 win over the Cyclones.
June 22 – The hitting streak of NAS C Armando Leal (.321, 3 HR, 25 RBI) ends at 23 games with a hitless appearance in a 4-3 loss to the Buffaloes.
June 24 – MIL SP Chris Sinkhorn (5-3, 3.35 ERA) spins a 1-hit shutout in regulation and whiffs ten Bayhawks, but the Loggers can’t score, either, and the game goes to extra innings, where the Loggers eventually claim a 3-0 victory in the 11th inning, picking four walks and a base hit from SFB MR Mike Homa (1-5, 10.55 ERA).

Complaints and stuff

It may not come as a surprise to you, but I really look forward to the International Free Agent signing period that will start next week. I have nothing else to live for anymore.

Joel Davis will come off the DL on Monday and I will then start to look into deals for veteran relievers, because we had the odd prospect in AAA still pushing up. I don’t know even who will be traded – it depends on who gives us the best deal, really. It’s not that I pressingly want to get rid of anybody, but just, y’know, get a prospect for somebody. Two trades, really, to keep Joe Moore here, and to get Billy Brotman up.

You know what else occurred to me? I must trade Cookie and Toner (the latter will only be able to be traded in the winter to begin with…) as soon as possible. I don’t want to waste those two’s careers as well like I wasted Brownie’s. Brownie never won a ring. I want those two to get rings! Heck, they have never been to the World Series even …!

If you love something dearly, let it go. Unless you love it too much, then skin it and make a muff out of it.

Technically, we could grab regular season win #3,800 next week, but that would require five wins…

You know what would have made the Hamilton barrage on Wednesday even better? If it – rather than Bob Butler’s – had been the anniversary of, say, Jimmy Oatmeal’s 3-HR game.

Despite our swath of disappointing power hitters over the years, Hamilton and Jimmy Eichelkraut are the only batters to hit three home runs in a game AFTER their time with the Raccoons organization. Ron Alston, Liam Wedemeyer, Stan Murphy (twice!), and Dumbo Mendoza all hit three homers before they became Raccoons.

What is there positive to pick from the week? Tuesday and Thursday were great! Okay, the Coons didn’t play on either day, but … eh. Oh, I know. A left-handed starter got a win in relief in an extra-inning game. Nick Brown did that once early in his career and it turned out rather well in the end for him. Doubtlessly Ryan Nielson is gonna be an All Star this year.

Not even an All Star of our hearts…

Fun Fact: No Raccoons reliever has ever reached 100 strikeouts in a season without starting at least one game. The closest anybody has come in team history is Marcos Bruno; the right-hander struck out 97 batters across 72 innings in 2008.

Ah, 2008. The year Jong-hoo Umberger was Rookie of the Year, Luke “Duke Smack” Black was The Thing, the Raccoons traded for Ron Alston in an outrageous deal in July, and won a whopping 93 games, only to still finish a dozen games out to the Crusaders.

The ****ing Crusaders that have won six championships since the Raccoons’ most recent time hoisting the trophy. And they will not get another shot for many years.

(tightly hugs Honeypaws while starting to cry) Forgive me, Honeypaws, for I have failed you …!!

[Westheim]

New year, new Coons?

Nah, the misery will doubtlessly continue.

+++

Raccoons (37-37) vs. Thunder (35-40) – June 27-29, 2022

The Thunder were second in runs scored and eighth in runs allowed, with a +25 run differential, so you weren’t expecting them toiling away five games under .500 necessarily. Oh well, here are your punching bags to climb back to the sunny side of the dividing line I guess. The Raccoons had already lost two of three games to them this year, and I was sure that this would continue. Well, they had one issue, a truly rotten bullpen with a 4.56 ERA. Get out their starters and hurt them late? Of course these Raccoons had a habit to score one or two early, and then go into hibernation…

Projected matchups:
Bobby Guerrero (4-7, 4.71 ERA) vs. Franklin Alvarado (6-2, 3.04 ERA)
Travis Garrett (6-5, 5.93 ERA) vs. Jose Vigil (6-8, 5.58 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (2-0, 1.10 ERA) vs. Bryan Hanson (7-6, 3.48 ERA)

Southpaw on Wednesday approaching, and apart from that the Thunder had regular second baseman Jeff Becker on the DL. He had been batting .268 with four homers before grisly breaking his leg.

The Raccoons made a roster change, activating Joel Davis from the disabled list and optioning Joe Moore back to AAA for the time being.

Funny thing about our two rightfielders entering this series: both Zach Graves and Hugo Mendoza were nursing a 1-for-21 stretch. Mendoza’s hit had been that walkoff home run last week.

Game 1
OCT: SS L. Rivera – 3B B. Marshall – C Pizzo – RF Branch – 1B W. Madrid – CF Bareford – LF DeWeese – 2B Riley – P Alvarado
POR: LF Carmona – SS Stalker – 3B Nunley – RF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – CF Stevenson – 2B Armetta – P Guerrero

For reasons beyond me, R.J. DeWeese was batting .333 with four homers in 60 AB, and the Thunder were now crazy enough to give him more at-bats apparently. This was only his eighth starting lineup assignment this year, and it was also the final year of his lavish 7-yr, $23.1M contract some idiot had signed him to a long time ago.

DeWeese would reach on Gil Rockwell’s error to start the third inning after Guerrero had retired the first six batters in a row. The unearned run would score, because the Raccoons failed to turn a double play on John Riley, who then stole second base and came home with two down on Lorenzo Rivera’s bloop single into shallow right. Bobby Guerrero would spill only four hits in seven innings in the game, including a home run by Mike PIzzo leading off the seventh, while getting absolutely no support whatsoever from the team around him. Gil Rockwell had hit a single in the second inning; when Guerrero’s term in office was definitely over after a 30-minute rain delay in the bottom of the seventh inning, that was the Coons’ only hit still, and they were haplessly trailing 2-0. Alvarado continued after the rain delay, throwing only 72 pitches in the first six innings, with John Riley dropping Tim Stalker’s pop-up to bring up the tying run – this was also the Raccoons’ first base runner after the Rockwell single… Nunley hit straight into a double play, and Mendoza also weakly grounded out, continuing his rotten stretch.

There was a Josh Stevenson double in the eighth that brought no success overall, but in the ninth Zach Graves landed a pinch-hit leadoff single against Ryan Corkum. Cookie forced him out on a grounder, but soon enough it was the third former Raccoon the Thunder had in their outfield to get into the focus. When Tim Stalker drove a ball hard, Jason Seeley appeared to make the catch running back, on the track, but then crashed into the fence and the ball came loose. Stalker was dashing hard, as was Cookie, routinely, and Stalker came up with an RBI triple. With one out, he was now the tying run and nominally there were good bats coming up. The very next pitch tied the game – a wild one that almost hit an evading Matt Nunley and allowed Stalker to score. But with Nunley grounding out and Mendoza going down on strikes, all that did was to send the game to extra innings. Brett Lillis was handed the ball and instantly fell apart. John Riley reached on an infield single with one out, and the Thunder would then rocket doubles off the wall; Jason Seeley with one out, Adam Baker with two outs. The Raccoons remained stubbornly hapless even in the tenth inning and readily lost the opener, one inning later than deserved. 4-2 Thunder. Olivares 1-1; Graves (PH) 1-1; Guerrero 7.0 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 1 K;

Game 2
OCT: SS L. Rivera – 3B B. Marshall – C Pizzo – RF Branch – 1B W. Madrid – CF Bareford – LF Hollingsworth – 2B Riley – P Vigil
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – 3B Nunley – 1B Mendoza – C Rice – 2B Stalker – RF Graves – CF Stevenson – P Garrett

Travis Garrett lasted a raucous third of an inning, allowing a single to Bobby Marshall before Mike Pizzo homered to right. Garrett, inept as ****, then drilled Ezra Branch, who took objection to that and charged the mound. Garrett clocked him in the kisser with a right hook and someone on the Thunder ripped the glove from Daniel Bullock’s hand to beat Garrett repeatedly over the head with it. It took five minutes to sort out the resulting chaos, with Garrett and Branch ejected at the end of it. Matt Nunley escaped ejection despite a suspicious amount of human hair in his glove.

Logan Sloan replaced the ****ing *** **** Garrett as we merrily declared a bullpen day. He got out of the inning without the runner scoring – Luke Davis having replaced the ejected Branch – and would also be the only Critter to reach base the first time through the order, doubling to center. I looked at the clock at that point and decided this was the perfect time for a drink, or nineteen. Sloan lasted 4.1 innings, partially undone by a Tim Stalker error in the fifth inning, and left with the bases loaded after a walk to Davis, totally done after 68 pitches. Joel Davis got out of the inning when Willie Madrid flew out softly to right, then hit a 2-out RBI single in the bottom of the inning to plate Josh Stevenson, who had doubled ahead of him, bringing the score to 2-1, and the Critters tied the game in the bottom 6th on a run-scoring groundout by Tim Stalker, although in all honesty Matt Nunley had only reached third base because of a wild pitch… Stevenson scored again in the seventh inning, hitting a leadoff single, stealing second base and eventually coming around on Bullock’s sac fly. Now we were actually in the lead! Dew did the eighth, and MacCarthy came out for the ninth after two long and unsuccessful outings for Lillis in the last two days, and starting with the pinch-hitting DeWeese, plenty of left-handed batting to come up. MacCarthy walked DeWeese, outrageously, but Nate Brown in the #1 spot hit sharply into a double play. Baker singled with two outs, but Pizzo popped out to Nunley in foul ground, ending this weird-ass game with a W. 3-2 Critters. Stevenson 2-3, 2B; Sloan 4.1 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 4 K and 1-1; Davis 1.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K and 1-1, RBI;

We should bat our relievers more often!

Travis Garrett and his 6.15 ERA were suspended by the league for nine games (same for Branch). This was the perfect excuse to throw the sucker onto waivers and then cross fingers for some illiterate hillbilly GM to pick him up. Garrett had no options left, so waivers were required to get him off the roster and were neither punishment nor unjust cruelty to creatures NO MATTER HOW HARD HE DESERVED THOSE.

Unable to pick between Dave Dyer and Ricky Martinez – both borderline incompetent even in AAA – we promoted 25-year old (…) Trevor Taylor to the big leagues to make his debut. He was already on the 40-man roster. He was also pitching in Ham Lake before promotion. He had a 3.48 ERA an 5-5 record for the Panthers. Originally a fifth round pick by the Wolves in 2015, he had been released without getting out of single-A ball and then signed by the Critters off the trash heap in February of 2018.

There was nothing about this guy justifying promotion to the major leagues. But we were down to the bare bones now.

Game 3
OCT: SS L. Rivera – CF Bareford – 1B W. Madrid – RF Seeley – C A. Baker – 3B B. Marshall – LF Hollingsworth – 2B Riley – P Hanson
POR: LF Carmona – SS Stalker – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – RF Stevenson – 2B Pelles – CF Romero – C Olivares – P Gutierrez

The Thunder greeted Gutierrez with a Lorenzo Rivera double, Andy Bareford’s RBI single, and then Ruben Pelles threw away Willie Madrid’s double play grounder. That kinda game, huh? After Seeley grounded out, Gutierrez got a golden strikeout in a full count on Adam Baker, and when Romero caught Marshall’s fly to center escaped the inning with minimal damage after all. The Thunder would get leadoff singles in the next two innings, but wouldn’t score, either because the runner was caught stealing or because of a double play actually turned beginning with Pelles. The Raccoons had no base hits the first time through; Nunley walked in the first; Cookie reached on an error in the third. Nobody got even close to score. Nunley actually reached third base in the fourth inning; he drew a leadoff walk, Stevenson singled, but Pelles popped out and Romero grounded out to Marshall to keep them on the corners.

When the Raccoons actually scored in the fifth inning, their effort started with Gutierrez. Holding the Thunder to one run over five innings, Rico also hit a 1-out double in the bottom 5th, then scored on Stalker’s 2-out double to left center, tying the score before Nunley grounded out to short. All was dandy for Gutierrez through six, but the Thunder ripped him apart in the seventh. Baker led off with a single, he walked Bobby Marshall, and Steve Hollingsworth’s grounder narrowly escaped between Nunley and Stalker. All runs scored on Riley’s 2-run double and Hanson’s run-scoring groundout. The fourth runner stayed on; Noah Bricker struck out Rivera, and Bareford grounded out, keeping the damage on Gutierrez to four runs total. Of course that also hung him up for the loss. The Raccoons got Stalker and Nunley on base with 2-out singles in the bottom 7th, but Rockwell, even opposing a left-hander, cluelessly struck out to extend his daily futility to 0-for-4, just in time before getting double-switched out. But the Raccoons couldn’t go down without flickering up the pointless hope once more. After Stevenson reached base in the bottom 8th, as a result of two double switches the Coons had Graves batting seventh and Mendoza batting ninth. Both of them landed RBI hits! But that was not enough to make up a 4-1 deficit… 4-3 Thunder. Stalker 2-5, 2B, RBI; Stevenson 2-5; Graves 1-1, 2B, RBI;

Raccoons (38-39) vs. Canadiens (37-41) – June 30-July 3, 2022

We were up 5-2 against Vancouver this year, but these things could change quickly, I knew from experience. The Elks were one spot behind us in the North, and still ahead of the Loggers (…!?). They were sixth in runs scored, but only ninth in runs allowed. Their rotation was semi-decent, and honestly, I’d switch them five-for-five right now, but their bullpen was the most rotten thing in the land, even worse than the Thunder’s, and that one had already been pretty raw.

Projected matchups:
Ryan Nielson (3-1, 1.57 ERA) vs. Randy Jenkins (4-6, 2.95 ERA)
Frank Kelly (5-4, 3.30 ERA) vs. Matt Rosenthal (7-5, 4.26 ERA)
Bobby Guerrero (4-7, 4.45 ERA) vs. Kevin Woodworth (8-6, 3.88 ERA)
Trevor Taylor (0-0) vs. Andy Purdy (0-0, 4.82 ERA)

We would get all their right-handers and miss only southpaw Greg Becker (3-7, 5.40 ERA). Also not on the menu this weekend: Ryan Holliman. The dangerous catcher was on the DL with a bum knee and would not come back until after the approaching All Star Game.

Game 1
VAN: CF Coca – RF Kim – LF A. Torres – SS Calfee – 1B M. Rivera – C D. Rojas – 3B Rickard – 2B Otis – P Jenkins
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – 3B Nunley – 1B H. Mendoza – C Rice – 2B Stalker – RF Graves – CF Stevenson – P Nielson

Alex Torres scored in the first inning on John Calfee’s 2-out double after swiping his 34th base of the season. The Elks had three hits in that first inning, but Torres had none of those, reaching base by forcing out Man-su Kim. The Elks had three more hits off Nielson in the second inning, but didn’t score at all when Kim flew out to Graves with three on and one out, and Graves threw out the hustling Bobby Rickard at home plate. Rickard would strike out to end the top of the third, with Calfee and Dave Rojas having knocked two more singles off Nielson. In a perfect world, the Coons would score the odd run or two to make the Elks look even dumber, but when Cookie hit a leadoff single in the bottom 3rd, stole second base (his 20th of the season), and reached third via a Nunley groundout, Dumbo Mendoza grounded a 3-0 pitch to Matt Otis to end the inning.

The Coons would eventually tie the score – Josh Stevenson’s leadoff jack in the bottom 5th doing the job – while the Elks had no hits off Nielson in the middle innings after eight hits in the first three innings. Nielson would eventually go seven, still holding on to the 1-1 tie, and got a no-decision. Attention shifted to John Calfee, who made two errors in the later innings of the game. The first put Mendoza on base in the sixth inning, with Mendoza lowering his average under .270 at that point, but didn’t result in a run. The second error came in the bottom 8th on Nunley’s grounder, leading off. With Rich Hood, recently removed from the rotation for reasons TOTALLY UNKNOWN, pitching and being left-handed, a memorable moment occurred, as Dumbo was not allowed to go to bat. Gil Rockwell batted for him. The attendance was stunned at Mendoza’s removal, so was Mendoza, but nobody was particularly surprised that Rockwell struck out against a career no-good.

A brief summer storm broke soon after that and play was delayed for an hour – yes, summer in Portland fell into the middle of the week this year! Brett Lillis had an uncharacteristically calm top of the ninth inning, handing fate to the bottom of the order in the bottom 9th. Pelles batted for Graves, with the rubber-armed Hood somehow still in the game, and doubled to left. After sad outs by Stevenson and Romero, Cookie drew a walk off right-handed replacement Juan Mendoza. Bullock also walked, loading the bases for Nunley with two outs. That count ran full, and the sixth pitch was not vaguely near the zone – Nunley scored a walkoff walk and the Raccoons clinched the opener. 2-1 Blighters. Carmona 3-4, BB; Pelles (PH) 1-1, 2B; Stevenson 2-3, BB, HR, RBI; Nielson 7.0 IP, 8 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 5 K;

Game 2
VAN: CF Coca – RF Kim – LF A. Torres – SS Calfee – 1B M. Rivera – C D. Rojas – 3B Rickard – 2B Otis – P Rosenthal
POR: CF Stevenson – SS Bullock – 3B Nunley – LF Mendoza – C Rice – 1B Rockwell – RF Graves – 2B Pelles – P Kelly

Fans sensed the end times approaching as rumors ran rampant in the city on the first of July. Cookie was not in the lineup! Is he gonna be traded!? I heard Kelly is traded! No, he’s starting today! Raw craziness, and I was in the middle of it.

In cold hard facts, Calfee took a walk leading off the second inning, stole a base, and scored on Dave Rojas’ single for the first run of the game. Been there, seen that. Ruben Pelles levelled the score in the third inning, knocking a home run off Rosenthal, his fifth of the season. The Coons would then have leadoff singles the next two innings, only to hit into a double play in both of them. First up was Nunley in the fourth, whom Mendoza eight-balled back to the dugout, and in the fifth Rockwell got on with a liner to right, but this time Zach Graves also found a single. Pelles hit to short for two, but Frank Kelly kicked a ball through between Rickard and Calfee, getting Rockwell home with the go-ahead run! Kelly would make it through seven with the lead, allowing only five hits, with three of those on Dave Rojas’ ledger. Rojas had batted .274 in 124 AB last year, but had come into this game with a .161 average in 34 AB. Offense remained hard to come by for either team; Rockwell hit into a double play in the bottom 7th, after which Kelly steered through another inning, retiring Otis, Rosenthal (who was not hit for) and Coca in the eighth. Cookie batted for Kelly in the bottom 8th after Pelles’ leadoff single, but grounded to Otis for a force play at second. He stole second, though, Stevenson was walked intentionally, and Daniel Bullock knocked a single to right to load the bases – yeah nobody likes running on Man-su Kim’s arm. Nunley hit into a double play, the Critters’ fourth in the game… At least Brett Lillis held up… 2-1 Blighters. Nunley 2-4; Pelles 2-3, HR, RBI; Kelly 8.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 6 K, W (6-4) and 1-2, RBI;

And that, kids, was Frank Kelly’s 17th and final start as a Raccoon.

Interlude: Trade

Saturday morning news broke that the Raccoons traded SP Frank Kelly (6-4, 3.14 ERA) to the Blue Sox for 23-year old #23 prospect AAA SP Matt Huf, who was 6-4 with a 3.74 ERA for the Blue Sox’ triple-A team, but had made one scoreless long relief appearance for Nashville already this season.

The trade clearly indicated that the team was acknowledging defeat and was trying to get rid of assets for the next team of maybe-stars. Huf had been the #2 prospect prior to the 2021 season, but had missed time to shoulder woes and had dropped to #23 in the newest edition of the rankings. Huf, who had a 97mph heater and a wipeout curve, was moved right into the Coons rotation (which prior to Saturday’s game held pitchers with 23 big-league starts this year and 240 for their careers, and Bobby Guerrero held almost 90% of the latter) and would make his Critters debut early next week, maybe as early as Monday.

By the way, the name is both pronounced as and translated from German into “hoof” – y’know, the things on the horse.

Raccoons (38-39) vs. Canadiens (37-41) – June 30-July 3, 2022

Game 3
VAN: CF Coca – RF Kim – SS Calfee – 1B M. Rivera – C D. Rojas – 3B Rickard – LF Houghtaling – 2B Otis – P Woodworth
POR: LF Carmona – CF Stevenson – 3B Nunley – C Rice – RF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – SS Stalker – 2B Armetta – P Guerrero

Again Guerrero was charged with an unearned run early, as the Elks moved Tony Coca across home plate when Rice threw away Calfee’s grounder in the first inning. The lead changed quickly, however, with the Coons reeling off three straight 1-out hits in the bottom of the second inning. Rockwell and Armetta both singled, but in between Tim Stalker hit an RBI triple, and scored on the Armetta bouncer into rightfield to give Guerrero a 2-1 lead. The Coons would continue to find double plays, like Rice in the fourth inning, and Guerrero held up for a little while, but the Elks got their leadoff men on base in the fifth, in which Woodworth’s bad bunt and Coca whiffing derailed Otis’ leadoff single, and in the sixth, when Guerrero walked the quick Calfee. The Elks would however managed to pop up with each of their next three batters, letting the Coons get away with another 2-1 lead for the moment.

Otis’ 1-out single in the seventh put the tying run on base yet again. Woodworth bunted him to second base, after which Moises Berrones – the Elks’ primary pinch-hitter – batted for Tony Coca. Berrones, left-handed, was batting only .215, but was a left-hander and Guerrero was at 97 pitches. Sugano to the rescue! Berrones flew to pretty deep center, but into an out, Stevenson getting into position to end the inning. That was the only hitter for Sugano, who was lifted for a pinch-hitter in the bottom 7th with Stalker on second, Armetta on first, and two outs. Zach Graves blew out easily to Berrones in rightfield. Cory Dew held the fort in the eighth; in the ninth it was on Joel Davis to secure the third straight 2-1 victory over the Elks, facing PH Chris Tanzillo in the #6 slot to begin the inning. Tanzillo struck out; Jeremy Houghtaling hit a ball to right, easy pickings for Mendoza, and Armetta handled Matt Otis’ grounder. 2-1 Raccoons. Stalker 2-3, 3B, RBI; Armetta 2-3, RBI; Guerrero 6.2 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, W (5-7);

I would not be mad about a fourth 2-1 win in this series…

Game 4
VAN: CF Coca – RF Kim – LF A. Torres – SS Calfee – 1B M. Rivera – C D. Rojas – 3B Onelas – 2B Otis – P Purdy
POR: LF Carmona – 3B Bullock – C Rice – 1B Rockwell – RF Mendoza – SS Stalker – 2B Pelles – CF Romero – P Taylor

There wouldn’t be another 2-1 win; while Trevor Taylor struck out his first ever major league batter, the Elks soon got to him. Kim singled, Calfee homered, and the Elks were up 2-0, but they wouldn’t be for long. Cookie’s leadoff walk in the bottom 1st was followed by Danny Rice’s home run and the score was levelled again. While hits would be scarce overall in the game, homers continued to fly away. Dave Rojas hit a real blast in the fourth inning to give the Elks a 3-2 lead, and that was also the tally in total hits through five innings between those two teams that had nothing going at all. When Taylor walked Calfee with two outs in the sixth that was already a rousing moment in the game, potentially pivotal – what would happen next!? Mike Rivera grounded out to Rockwell. Cookie even drew a leadoff walk in the bottom 6th – the drama! Bullock popped out, and Rice got drilled. That brought up the pair of bleeding sores in the middle of the order, and Rockwell struck out in a real hurry. Mendoza came up with two outs and was something like one-for-a-million in the last four weeks. And there was no reason to start hitting now – Mendoza struck out.

Taylor’s debut would end after seven innings, three hits, three runs, when Matt Nunley’s off day also came to an end in the bottom of the seventh inning. Stalker was on third after reaching on Alex Onelas’ error, and Romero was on first with a 1-out single. We were still down 3-2 and needed RUNS … NOW. But we weren’t going to get them. Nunley popped out, Cookie grounded out, the runners remained on the corners. Instead, Logan Sloan came apart in the eighth inning, allowed two hits, a walk, and two runs, but there was still enough time in the game to become hideously drunk without anybody noticing. Slappy – Slappy… is that the Captain Coma stash? 5-2 Canadiens. Taylor 7.0 IP, 3 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 1 BB, 6 K, L (0-1);

John Calfee broke a finger diving for Stalker’s grounder in the ninth inning. That was little consolation…

In other news

June 28 – The Canadiens pile up 22 hits against the Aces, but still need 13 innings to win; the final hit for them is a walkoff home run against LVA MR Danny Lobato (0-2, 4.24 ERA, 2 SV) hit by VAN C Chris Tanzillo (.217, 1 HR, 6 RBI), who goes 3-for-7 in the 10-8 victory.
June 28 – While the Titans only amount to a drag bunt base hit by 1B/LF/RF Gil Cornejo (.267, 2 HR, 30 RBI) off Andrew Gudeman in the seventh inning, the Condors still need nine innings to score a single run on 2B/SS Howard Read’s (.219, 5 HR, 23 RBI) walkoff home run.
June 29 – SAL RF/LF Nate Ellis (.303, 11 HR, 46 RBI) is expected to miss the entire month of July with a sprained elbow. The 28-year old hit .332 with 30 homers in 2021.
June 30 – SAC INF Trey Rock (.356, 0 HR, 17 RBI) is expected to miss three to four weeks after taking a hit to the shoulder in an on-base collision.
July 1 – Singles by Matt Jamieson and Robby Boggs as well as consecutive errors by Oklahoma City’s John Riley and Bobby Marshall help the Condors to an odd 5-4 walkoff win in ten innings over the Thunder.
July 2 – The Scorpions exchange outfielder John Staebell (.322, 2 HR, 10 RBI) for the Warriors’ MR Troy McCaskill (2-2, 3.14 ERA) and a prospect.
July 3 – The Aces score ten runs overall, but the Bayhawks score ten runs in the fourth inning alone in a 15-10 victory for San Francisco.

Complaints and stuff

The Crusaders put Adam Young on the trading block. I am waiting for a prank call in which their GM will over him to be, just as an insult. But can there be anything much more insulting than Dumbo Mendoza’s 1-for-32, 2-for-43 spill?

Travis Garrett went – unfortunately – unclaimed and arrived in St. Petersburg on Saturday. He is still suspended, but I can’t give a **** right now.

Alex Torres stole only the one base against us on the weekend, giving him 34 through 82 games this year. That is right near the all-time season-best, which was put up two years ago by Cincy’s Nando Maiello.

ABL SINGLE SEASON STOLEN BASE LEADERS
1st – Nando Maiello (2020) – 66
2nd – Danny Flores (2015) – 61
3rd – Javier Rodriguez (2006) – 60
4th – Danny Flores (2016) – 59
5th – Moromao Hino (1998) – 58
6th – Victor Hodgers (2015) – 57
7th – Andres Serna (1986) – 55
t-8th – Andres Serna (1990) – 54
t-8th – Yoshi Yamada (2005) – 54
10th – Moromao Hino (1996) – 53

Since we are on it already…

ABL SINGLE SEASON STOLEN BASE LEADERS
1st – Moromao Hino – 485
2nd – Diego Rodriguez – 460 – HOF
3rd – Martin Ortíz – 457
4th – Cristo Ramirez – 424 – HOF
5th – Daniel Silva – 417
6th – Danny Flores – 402 – active
7th – Javier Rodriguez – 391
8th – Paul Connolly – 366 – HOF
9th – Ricardo Carmona – 358 – active
10th – Xiao-wei Li – 357

There was a $409k bonus pool available to sign international free agents this year, but of course this was a soft cap. Go blow this year, be restricted next year. The Coons had no restrictions in place this season, because money had been tight in ’21. This year we had $640k easily available as the window open, and that was before the Kelly trade, which freed up about the same amount. If we want, we can go blow.

Trading down is not going to be easy though. I hear Dumbo Mendoza is going to execute his 10/5 rights and veto any deal, and nobody wants much of Cookie, who is simply not a power hitter in a power position, and will get 10/5 rights before the end of the month.

Fun fact: When Yoshi Yamada stole 54 bases in his only full major-league season in 2005, he was a Raccoon and part of our double-Yoshi middle infield.

Ah, 2005. Ninth consecutive losing season.

We are going back to that by the way.

Maud, why can’t I say that in the interview with the TV guys? – Is it all… - No, Maud, is it all about lying these days?

[Westheim]

Raccoons (41-40) @ Loggers (36-44) – July 4-7, 2022

We’d do the smooth four-and-four with the Loggers this year; first four in Milwaukee, then four at our little dump after the All Star Game. That amounted to just enough games to get blasted into last place real hard, and I still couldn’t quite figure out how the defending champions were still in last place in the CL North in July, and by now also 15 1/2 games behind the Titans, who looked like a damn lock to the playoffs this year – their first since 2005! The Loggers had won two of three games from the Raccoons during our first encounter this season. They were tenth in both runs scored and runs allowed, which was not a good base for success. Their run differential was -62, and they were actually as rotten as they appeared, the reasons for which were mysterious and beyond me.

Projected matchups:
Matt Huf (0-0, 0.00 ERA) vs. Chris Sinkhorn (6-3, 3.12 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (2-1, 2.38 ERA) vs. Michael Foreman (6-6, 3.71 ERA)
Ryan Nielson (3-1, 1.51 ERA) vs. Morgan Shepherd (1-6, 5.67 ERA)
Bobby Guerrero (5-7, 4.15 ERA) vs. Ian Prevost (4-7, 4.08 ERA)

So Matt Huf will make his Raccoons and starting debut against the current Pitcher of the Year – oh it’s gonna be just fiiine! Sinkhorn is their only left-hander.

Game 1
POR: LF Carmona – SS Stalker – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – RF Stevenson – 2B Pelles – CF Romero – C Olivares – P Huf
MIL: SS Tadlock – 2B March – RF Gore – C Wool – LF Berntson – 3B A. Velez – 1B Reese – CF Tesch – P Sinkhorn

Matt Huf didn’t only have to compete against six left-handed batters, but also fought nature which threw a 30-minute rain delay right in the second inning at him. The Loggers would take a lead in the same inning, with Jon Berntson scoring on two productive outs after his leadoff double into the rightfield corner. The balls were flying quite hard off Huf, who had almost allowed a leadoff jack to Ron Tadlock in the first; Cookie made the catch right at the wall. Offensively, Cookie was no big help, contributing two strikeouts to Sinkhorn’s tally of seven after the first five innings, including striking out to strand the unearned tying runs in the top of the fifth. Olivares had singled, Huf had reached on an error; the Loggers had been up 2-0 since the bottom 4th, and would add another run to get to 3-0 in the fifth against Huf, both times slowly moving leadoff singles around the bases; in the latter case, that leadoff single had been hit by Sinkhorn. Huf was almost on his way out in the bottom 5th, with Dan March on second, Brad Gore on first, one out, and a full count against Josh Wool, until Wool struck out and Olivares threw out Gore among the moving runners, ending the inning with a 2-4 double play.

The Critters had the bases loaded in the sixth, with Stalker and Rockwell singling, and Stevenson getting nailed with one out. Pelles flew out softly to Gore in rightfield, but Ricardo Romero smacked a bouncer threw the diving Alberto Velez. The ball worked its way into the corner in deep left, and all runners scored on the double, tying the score at three. Huf made it through the seventh inning without allowing another baserunner, and the Loggers hit for Sinkhorn with Kevin Jaeger in the bottom 7th, so we got into their moist bullpen. Gil Rockwell was the first guy up against their reliever Ivan Morales, a right-hander with a decent 2.64 ERA. Rockwell knocked a double over Brad Gore’s head, but Stevenson flew out. After that Ruben Pelles was walked intentionally to get to Romero for whatever reason, except that we pretended the last three weeks hadn’t happened and sent Dumbo Mendoza to pinch-hit. The success was spectacular – despite falling behind in the count, Mendoza met a 98mph heater and blasted it right outta the goddamn park! The stunned Loggers did not offer major resistance the rest of the way. Sugano and Davis took care of the eighth, and Brett Lillis did the ninth, striking out three after an initial walk to Alberto Velez. 6-3 Coons! Carmona 2-5, 2B; Rockwell 2-4, 2B; Romero 1-3, 2B, 3 RBI; Mendoza (PH) 1-1, HR, 3 RBI; Huf 7.0 IP, 7 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 1 BB, 4 K, W (1-0);

This was the 500th career appearance for Joel Davis, and more significantly also the 3,800th regular season win for the Raccoons, claimed by their first-time starter and recent rebuilding block, Matt Huf.

And for what it is worth: we scored six RBI in the #7 spot in the order, which doesn’t seem like a minor feat to me…

Game 2
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – 3B Nunley – RF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – CF Stevenson – 2B Armetta – P Gutierrez
MIL: CF Tesch – 1B Jaeger – RF Gore – C Wool – 3B A. Velez – SS Dasher – LF J. Morales – 2B March – P Foreman

Suddenly, Mendoza was on acid or some other rancid ****; after singles by Cookie and Daniel Bullock to begin the game, and Nunley’s not-at-all helpful pop over the infield, Mendoza blasted another helpless ball for another 3-run homer. Michael Foreman surely didn’t have the best of days, continuing to surrender a triple to Gil Rockwell that would end up being the fourth and final run in the top of the first inning once Josh Stevenson legged out an infield single. Armetta also singled, but Gutierrez’ fly to left was taken care of by “Dingus” Morales. The Loggers would pull one run back off Gutierrez right away in the bottom 1st, but actually hit four hard drives to the deep outfield. They could have wound up with four home runs just as easily, but Stevenson spoiled two extra-base bids, and only those of Jaeger and Gore fell in for doubles.

Either pitcher could be the first to get bowled off the turf in the early innings; Foreman because he had already bled four runs, and Gutierrez because the Loggers were hitting hideous drives all the time, but through the next three innings, neither team managed to score. Foreman sure looked done in the fifth, however, with Mendoza drawing a leadoff walk, followed by Rockwell and Rice singles. Stevenson came up with the bags full and no outs, and knocked a grounder hard up the middle. On grass, the middle infielders would have had a shot. On turf, they didn’t. Stevenson had an RBI single, and when Foreman walked Armetta to force in another run, his day was over. Ex-Coon was replaced by ex-Coon, as Pat Slayton inherited a persistent three-on, no-outs state and would see all the runners towards home plate after a promising start with a K to Gutierrez. Cookie singled to right, plating two, and Bullock’s groundout allowed Armetta to score, however, giving Gutierrez a 9-1 lead. The Loggers would shorten the score by one in the bottom 5th, in which – hold on to something! – Dan March reached on Bullock’s error, but got forced on Slayton’s bad bunt, yet Slayton then stole second base and would score on Kevin Jaeger’s groundout eventually…! There would be one more run on Gutierrez in the bottom 7th, in which he drilled Tom Reese AND Kevin Jaeger, and allowed a 2-run RBI single to Brad Gore, upon which he was replaced by Quinn MacCarthy in a rare lefty-for-lefty move. MacCarthy struck out Josh Wool, keeping the Coons up by six, and between him and Logan Sloan the remaining six outs were to be collected as well. 9-3 Raccoons! Carmona 3-5, 2 RBI; Rockwell 2-5, 3B; Rice 3-5; Stevenson 3-5, 2 RBI; Gutierrez 6.2 IP, 7 H, 3 R, 2 ER, 0 BB, 3 K, W (3-1); MacCarthy 1.1 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Pat Slayton’s career total for stolen bases is now … three! His most recent bag taken occurred in 2017 with the Gold Sox. While I am known for wacky ****, he never stole a base as a Raccoon during his five years here.

Meanwhile Cookie is back atop the batting leaderboard, and Mendoza’s double-whammy in this series has seen him back to lead the RBI race with 56. That is PUNY compared to what ex-Logger Justin Dally is doing over in the Federal League. The Stars outfielder has already driven in *82*.

Game 3
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – 3B Nunley – RF Mendoza – 1B Rockwell – 2B Stalker – C Rice – CF Stevenson – P Nielson
MIL: CF Tesch – 1B Jaeger – SS Tadlock – RF Gore – LF Berntson – C Wool – 3B Ladd – 2B March – P Shepherd

Odd start to the game – the Raccoons had four runners in the first two innings, none by a base hit, and none of them scored, either. Cookie, Mendoza, and Stevenson had all walked; Tim Stalker had reached on Ron Tadlock’s error. The Loggers got a run in the first inning, with Tesch opening the game with a double and swiftly scoring on Kevin Jaeger’s single. They had Wes Ladd (and that after Craig Dasher; the Loggers were really into obscure has-beens for their left-side infielders now…!) on base with a walk in the bottom 2nd, but also had him thrown out by Stevenson at third base on Dan March’s single to center. Stevenson murdered another base runner in the following inning, throwing out Jaeger at home, but at this point we were also worried about Nielson’s effectiveness because the balls were howling all over the place. Brad Tesch had led off the inning with his first homer of the season, increasing his team’s lead to 2-0, and Jaeger had driven a screaming double to the fence in rightfield afterwards. Ron Tadlock’s fat single to center got the eager Jaeger erased, but Tadlock reached second base on the throw, then third base after a walk to Gore and Wool getting bitten by a fastball. Wes Ladd, age 37 and last serving in a meaningful capacity in the majors for the 2019 Cyclones, lined out to Mendoza to strand a full set of runners.

Portland got a hit and a run in the fourth. Rockwell hit a single, while Mendoza scored the run after getting nailed leading off and stealing second base, moving to third on the single and scoring on Rice’s groundout. That was it for the Coons as long as Nielson was in the game. The southpaw lasted six innings, somehow expending 107 pitches on the way, without getting totally torn apart, but remained on a 2-1 hook. Zach Graves batted for him in the top of the seventh inning, struck out, then was put on the bus to St. Petersburg. With the Raccoons still at one base hit in the eighth inning, Cory Dew first put Josh Wool on with a single, then fell to a Wes Ladd bomb. Top 9th, the tying run did come to the plate; after Mendoza’s sorry pop to lead off the inning against right-hander Justin Guerin, random pinch-hitting yielded a Romero single and an infield single for Sam Armetta, bringing up Rice with one out. His soft bloop on the first pitch fell for a single, Romero scored, 4-2. Stevenson walked, loading the bases for Ruben Pelles, the only non-.195 bat (Olivares) left on the bench, to bat for Manobu Sugano. He flew out to center, with Armetta coming home for a sac fly. Guerin walked Cookie in a full count, making Bullock either the last guy in the game or getting somebody ready for the bottom 9th. He put the first pitch in play, grounding to first base, and Jaeger had no problems with that one. 4-3 Loggers. Romero (PH) 1-1; Armetta (PH) 1-1;

With Graves demoted back to St. Petersburg, I decreed the Age of Omar to have arrived.

Signing with the Capitals for $364k in the 2017 International Free Agent signing period, we had acquired this 21-year old slugger last July in the trade that decooned Matt Hamilton to the Capitals. Alfaro was still rough around the edges, but had batted .292 with ten homers in 246 AB this season in St. Petersburg, with 45 walks drawn for a .401 on-base percentage. He had a bit of speed, but he didn’t really need it to become a star. There was really just one position for him on the field. Blessed with a murder arm, this Dominican switch-hitter HAD to play rightfield.

Now I just have to make room for him.

Game 4
POR: LF Carmona – RF Alfaro – 3B Nunley – 1B Mendoza – C Rice – 2B Pelles – SS Stalker – CF Stevenson – P Guerrero
MIL: SS Tadlock – 2B March – RF Gore – C Wool – LF Berntson – 3B A. Velez – 1B Reese – CF Tesch – P Prevost

The Loggers scored two unearned runs off Guerrero in the first inning, courtesy of a walk by Guerrero to March, Nunley’s throwing error, and then Berntson’s 2-run single to center. Omar Alfaro’s career started pretty inauspiciously with a strikeout in the first inning, but by the fourth he hit a leadoff single off Prevost. Fun on base was limited for the kid, however, with Matt Nunley’s sharp grounder to Tom Reese soon getting him forced out and sent back to the dugout. By the bottom of the fifth, Alfaro also had his first career error, nonchalantly fielding Dan March’s single into an extra base that also sent Ron Tadlock to third, from which he would soon score on Brad Gore’s grounder to Pelles. I let it be relayed to the first base coach that he should inform Alfaro as soon as the inning was over that another one of those maybe-I-will-maybe-I-won’t plays would get him sent back to a rat-infested tobacco plantation on Hispaniola quicker than he could text “llegué a las ligas mayores!!” to his drug-addicted childhood friends in Huguey.

Five innings in, Guerrero trailed 3-0, two unearned, none deserved. He made it through the sixth inning, which dragged considerably. Tom Reese converted a full count into a 2-out infield single, and then Tesch singled on a 2-2 pitch that bounced by Pelles and might even have brushed the edge of his glove. The Loggers weren’t hitting for Prevost, who had a 3-hit shutout going, and his pop to Stalker ended the inning and also Guerrero’s day after 109 pitches. The Loggers added a run against MacCarthy in the seventh, as the Coons southpaw allowed a triple to March, then threw a wild pitch. Logan Sloan produced a bases-loaded situation in the bottom 8th, with Berntson’s leadoff double being followed by Reese taking another one for a bruise, and Tesch walking on four pitches. “Dingus” Morales pinch-hit for Prevost now, with Noah Bricker entering the game for the first time in this series. Morales hit a sac fly, Tadlock singled, but with the bases loaded again, March flew out to Cookie. Down 5-0, the Coons faced Mike Kress, a right-hander with a 3.99 ERA in the ninth inning. Cookie led off and singled up the middle, and Alfaro singled to right. Okay, another sixteen batters until the tying run comes up, or something like that. Nunley got Alfaro forced out with a grounder to first for the second time in the game, but maybe Mendoza could find another 3-spot! Nah, he struck out. Danny Rice fouled out, and this series ended in a split. 5-0 Loggers. Alfaro 2-4;

First game in the Bigs, already the best on his team!

No, we will not compare Omar to real major leaguers just yet, thanks.

Raccoons (43-42) @ Titans (57-30) – July 8-10, 2022

…especially not with another beating drawing up. The Titans could already seal the season series with the Critters in this final pre-All Star Game weekend matchup, having so far won seven of the nine games against them in ’22. They also had a 4-game winning streak and led the North by double digits – oh to be a Titans fan right now! Offensively ranking second in runs scored, they were also in the top 3 in runs conceded, with a third-place rotation and a fourth-place pen. And they were also playing .655 ball despite sitting DEAD LAST in home runs in the Continental League – they had only *30* dingers at the All Star break! Tony Casillas led the team with five bombs.

Projected matchups:
Trevor Taylor (0-1, 3.86 ERA) vs. Alan Farrell (4-10, 4.33 ERA)
Matt Huf (1-0, 2.31 ERA) vs. Chris Klein (10-5, 2.47 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (3-1, 2.45 ERA) vs. Jose Fuentes (7-7, 3.56 ERA)

Gutierrez was the veteran among our three starters, holding four of their six total career starts. I felt like leading the Children’s Crusade. The Titans still only had right-handed starters, but also four left-handed relievers. Off the five they had carted up last time, Brent Beene had ended up on the DL; they still had Ron Thrasher, Mike Tharp, Edwin Balandran, and Matt Branch, and three of those had a legitimate case to be a closer.

Game 1
POR: LF Carmona – RF Alfaro – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – 2B Pelles – SS Stalker – CF Stevenson – P Taylor
BOS: LF W. Ramos – RF Cornejo – 3B Jam. Wilson – CF K. Evans – C Leonard – SS Kane – 2B Stephens – 1B Flack – P Farrell

Matt Nunley tripled in the first inning, unfortunately not until after Omar Alfaro had hit into a double play. Dumbo Mendoza was the odd one out in this game, although by now this could mean anything. Trevor Taylor in turn had a bear of a task ahead of him – there were NO right-handed batters in the Titans lineup, not even Farrell, a switch-hitter. Between the first two innings, the Titans stranded five runners, of which two had singled and three had walked. The Coons hadn’t done anything with the Nunley triple in the first (Rockwell struck out) and wouldn’t do anything with the Cookie double leading off the third, either. That inning saw Alfaro drilled, but the middle of the order flunked out collectively, and when the Raccoons had Cookie and Alfaro on base with a pair of singles in the fifth, Nunley hit into an inning-ending double play. Taylor meanwhile had waded through a quagmire of runners for four innings, then struck out the side in the fifth, which was a bit unexpected. A leadoff walk to Keith Leonard in the bottom 6th gave the Titans their ninth runner in the game, and the first one they would cash in on a 430-foot blast by Mike Kane. That one also ended Taylor’s day.

Both Sugano and Sloan were charged with an extra run before the Coons got through eight innings, and then still trailed 4-0. Julio San Pedro appeared in relief, walked Rice and Pelles, then yielded for Ron Thrasher, who inherited two on, no outs, and the bottom of the order. Bullock batted for Stalker and struck out. Stevenson flew out to Gil Cornejo. Then came Mendoza, batting for Sloan in the #9 hole. He hit a grounder right back to Thrasher, who casually ended the game. 4-0 Titans. Carmona 3-4, 2B;

This final groundout for the Raccoons by Mendoza … was the final groundout by Mendoza for the Raccoons.

Interlude: Trade

The Saturday before the All Star Game, the Raccoons announced that Hugo “Tiger” Mendoza (.256, 16 HR, 56 RBI) was not a Raccoon anymore. The 31-year-old left-handed batter has been traded off to the Cyclones for a pair of right-handed pitching prospects, AAA SP Jonathan Shook and AAA CL Chris McKendrick. Neither of them were ranked, and the Raccoons sent Shook back to AA Ham Lake upon arrival from Cincy.

Dwayne Metts was promoted from AAA to fill the vacated roster spot.

Raccoons (43-42) @ Titans (57-30) – July 8-10, 2022

Game 2
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Stalker – RF Alfaro – 1B Rockwell – 3B Nunley – SS Bullock – CF Romero – C Olivares – P Huf
BOS: CF Reichardt – 1B Flack – 3B Jam. Wilson – SS Kane – C Leonard – RF Braun – LF K. Evans – SS Casillas – P Klein

Huf struggled with walks, issuing three the first time through. He escaped runners / walkers on the corners in the second inning when Chris Klein popped up, and when Adam Flack tripled in the third, Jamie Wilson’s pop also helped to bail him out. And, yeah, Bullock’s stretch-and-grab on Kane’s liner also helped. The wholly and fully forsaken Raccoons, who hadn’t scored a run in a while, first got their hopes up in the fourth inning when Daniel Bullock hit a ball to deep right, although ultimately it was not that deep and no major challenge for Adam Braun.

Huf would end up being held to five shutout innings in the game, courtesy of timely pops at least until a cloud overhead popped and doused the area. It was the Raccoons’ third rain delay of the week, with zero games being played in Portland, the city built under a sprinkler. Not that the delay was long – just some 25 minutes – but Huf had already been on 91 mostly errant pitches. Chris Klein continued his work day undeterred, consistently mowing down the hapless Critters, who still hadn’t scored since the ninth inning on Wednesday. Klein was well enough to bat and hit a leadoff single off Cory Dew in the bottom 7th, but Quinn MacCarthy would prevent him from scoring, retiring the top of the order. The contest remained scoreless into the ninth, which Klein still entered pitching, but then allowed a leadoff double to rightfield to rookie Omar Alfaro. O-mar! O-mar! No, nobody in the park was gonna chant that. The attendance was wondering, A) who that was, and B) how dare he!? Quick, someone throw rocks at him! – After Rockwell walked and Nunley singled, the Raccoons had the bases loaded and nobody out, but would send up the struggling-or-maybe-dead Bullock, the pitcher’s spot, and Olivares, which bore an 82% chance of not scoring. Bullock – still facing Klein – grounded sharply to first base, Jonathan Stephens launched the throw home, Alfaro out, throw back to Stephens, Bullock out. Rice batted for the pitcher and struck out. When Joel Davis walked two, but struck out three in the bottom 9th, the game scorelessly went to extras, where the Raccoons continued to not score real hard in the 10th inning until Brett Lillis walked leadoff man Mike Kane, who would be replaced on base by Gil Cornejo on a 1-out fielder’s choice, then allowed singles to Kurt Evans and Tony Casillas to soak the loss. 1-0 Titans. Alfaro 2-4, 2B; Nunley 2-4;

That makes 28 innings without having scored a single run.

Geez.

Game 3
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Stalker – RF Alfaro – 1B Rockwell – 3B Nunley – CF Stevenson – C Rice – SS Bullock – P Gutierrez
BOS: 2B Casillas – CF Reichardt – LF Almanza – RF Braun – C McPherson – 3B Jam. Wilson – 1B Cornejo – SS Kane – P J. Fuentes

Omar Alfaro missed ending the Coons scoring drought by about six inches, hammering a double off the top of the wall in rightfield for a 2-out double in the first inning. The streak grew to 29 innings when Gil Rockwell struck out. The Titans effortlessly raked Gutierrez for four hits, two walks, and three runs in the bottom of the first inning, and that was with one runner getting thrown out at home plate. Oh well, so it’s a loss! Big deal!

By the second inning, Josh Stevenson was ejected for comparing the home plate umpire to a mole and replaced by Dwayne Metts. Oh well… big deal. The scoring drought lasted 30 innings, finally being broken up when Bullock reached on an Eric McPherson error in the third inning and got moved around by a bunt, Cookie’s single, and then … a passed ball. Stalker struck out, Alfaro walked, Rockwell was useless and probably born that way. Still, it was a(n unearned) run. THAT ONE COUNTS!! Also, the Titans would pull the run right back from Gutierrez, who offered as much resistance as bubbles in a bath and countinuously got whacked.

The Titans lost Fuentes to injury after four innings in the 4-1 game. Matt Branch replaced him, the lousiest of the Titans southpaw relievers, but he still struck out Bullock and Gutierrez to begin the fifth inning, then closely lost Cookie to a walk. Stalker doubled, but with runners in scoring position and despite a 6-for-12 start to his career, Alfaro chose that moment to rather strike out as the tying run. The Coons had two on with nobody out in the sixth as Rockwell would always gladly single to begin an inning, but never with anybody on base, and Nunley also singled. The triple-D threat in the 6-7-8 holes, Dwayne, Danny, and Daniel then unfurled three absolutely horrendous outs to leave those runners on base as well. Gutierrez would not last longer than 5.1 innings, allowing a leadoff single to Kane in the bottom 6th, then received Branch’s bunt on the way to the showers. When Alfaro hit a leadoff double in the eighth, Rockwell promptly went down flailing against San Pedro. Nunley flew out to left facing left-hander Edwin Balandran; Metts struck out. Somewhere, somehow, a lousy reliever allowed another run to the Titans, and the Coons entered the ninth inning trailing 5-1. Armetta and Bullock opened the inning with doubles to right, however, knocking out Balandran in favor of right-hander Javy Salomon, a rookie, and Bullock also casually drove in the Coons’ first earned run in 37 ****ing innings. Romero batted for MacCarthy but grounded out to first, moving Bullock to third, where he remained when Cookie blazed up the line to beat a throw from Salomon on his ****ty grounder. That single pulled up the tying run in … eh, Tim Stalker. He struck out, and thus it was Alfaro with two outs to put things right and --- pop out to short. 5-2 Titans. Carmona 2-4, BB; Alfaro 2-4, 2 2B; Armetta (PH) 1-1, 2B;

In other news

July 4 – The Condors send 2B/SS Howard Read (.214, 5 HR, 25 RBI) to the Falcnos in exchange for 2B/SS Juan Estrada (.285, 6 HR, 22 RBI) and a meager prospect.
July 5 – The Miners hang an 11-0 rout on the Rebels and also have three players with three base hits in the game, batting second through fourth: Brian Tyer (.310, 3 HR, 22 RBI), Bill Adams (.352, 17 HR, 72 RBI) and Justin Quinn (.271, 12 HR, 51 RBI); the latter plates four runners in the game.
July 5 – The Crusaders send 1B Adam Young (.244, 3 HR, 9 RBI) to the Aces. The 33-year old left-handed bat, plus a prospect, nets them 2B/SS Bill Hebberd (.245, 1 HR, 7 RBI), who is 27 years old.
July 6 – The season of Capitals left-hander SP Jose “Butch” Diaz (4-4, 3.05 ERA) ends early; the 28-year old has been diagnosed with bone chips in his elbow.
July 6 – The Crusaders acquire RF/CF/3B Craig Abraham (.290, 0 HR, 7 RBI) from the Condors, sending them 34-year-old AAA infielder Gabriel Sauceda and a third-rate prospect.
July 7 – SAC SP Ian Rutter (7-6, 3.52 ERA) throws a 3-hit shutout against the Warriors, whiffing nine. The Scorpions win, 10-0.
July 8 – The Wolves swap LF/RF Alfredo Quintana (.296, 6 HR, 36 RBI) to the Buffaloes for two prospects including #81 CL Alex Ramos.
July 8 – WAS RF/LF Jason Stone (.321, 10 HR, 38 RBI) is going to miss three to four weeks with a fractured rib.
July 10 – NYC SP Hwa-pyung Choe (8-5, 2.08 ERA) hurls a 1-hit shutout against the Canadiens. Vancouver’s Bobby Rickard (.226, 3 HR, 22 RBI) has a single in the second inning to prevent a no-hitter.
July 10 – The Thunder trade LF/CF Steve Hollingsworth (.305, 2 HR, 20 RBI) to the Pacifics for 2B/SS Zheng-ze Ts’ai (.273, 3 HR, 26 RBI) and a second-rate prospect.
July 10 – SAL 1B Kevin Harenberg (.292, 10 HR, 47 RBI) is expected to be out for two months with a broken finger.

Complaints and stuff

Cookie acquired 10/5 rights this week in regards to vetoing trades, but truth be told I found no takers anyway. While leadoff hitters are surely appreciated, he made a bit too much dough to find any buyers and there were early signs of a beginning age curve for him as there were for most players relying on speed that had hit the big three-oh.

Speaking of 10/5 rights, Mendoza had invoked his as late as last weekend, but with all points set for disaster he probably reconsidered and elected to play for a winner after all. Good riddance, I say. No, I never liked him.

I have been trying to trade relievers – nobody wants them. Why!? No clue. But if I had any clue about how the game works, I might have managed this team to a ring or two in the last three decades…

Matt Nunley now has seven career triples, and he had more than one only once I in a season.

Back to international free agents, where at some point during this week I offered as much as $1M to a group of just six players (of which at that point two had signed), but by the weekend I dropped out of a crazy bidding war for 17-year old Dominican outfielder Edwin Rendon. The scouting reports of both the Riddler and OSA agreed on massive home run potential and a good defense in centerfield. So far, so Neil Reece, huh? Unfortunately his swing had more holes than R.J. DeWeese’s. The price raged to $560k when I called it quits. I am nuts, but not that nuts.

By the weekend, there were only five players unsigned in a quickly developing IFA season: Rendon, a pitcher that had mild potential to throw batting practice in the future according to the Riddler, but whom other teams were also throwing 500 grand at, and three more players I was bidding for.

So far we have signed a pair of pitchers, both 16-year old Dominican right-handers, who came a total of $96k. My main target now is SS Alberto Ramos, another 16-year-old from the Dominican Republic. High average, but no power is the book on him, also very good speed. He might move to second base however due to a certain lack of defense at short.

Fun fact: The Titans have indeed not made the playoffs since 2006. They owned the North in the decade before that, winning the division eight out of the previous nine years – their only eight playoff appearances.

Of course, if the Titans are back now, that means the Raccoons will go to where they spent their 1997-2005 seasons. We finished fourth three times, we finished fifth three times, and we finished sixth three times, and on average ended up 28 games out of the leader (Titans).

I sure hope I’ll be born as a stuffed toy in my next life. They have it best.

(slowly rocks back and forth while clutching Honeypaws to his chest)

[Westheim]

All Star Game

The Raccoons would have two representatives at the 2022 All Star Game, although only one of those – Noah “Bloody” Bricker – would have a chance of participating. The other Coon present was Jonny Toner. It was Jonny’s ninth All Star nomination – all consecutive. Bricker was a maiden All Star at age 33.

Indianapolis Indians outfielder Cesar Martinez would be MVP of the game that the Continental League won 7-6 over the Federal League. Martinez went 2-for-3 with a walk and a 3-run home run off Jose Beltran. The Federal League held a 6-5 lead through eight innings, but the CL’s Travis Benson, Tony Jimenez, and Sergio Valdez all doubled off Capitals closer Ben Marx in the ninth inning to turn the game around.

Noah Bricker pitched a scoreless inning, walking a batter.

Raccoons (43-45) vs. Loggers (40-47) – July 14-17, 2022

The Raccoons had taken the first two games of last week’s 4-game set in Milwaukee, but then had dropped the last two games and all three on the weekend to the Titans, so were off to a 5-game losing streak. By contrast, the Loggers had dumped the Elks into last place, but needed a sweep to pass the Raccoons on the weekend. Oh well, I feel like we’re on a roll anyway! The Loggers were by now eighth in runs scored, but second from the bottom in runs allowed. They currently held the title of worst pen in all the CL lands. They still held a 4-3 edge over the Coons this year.

Projected matchups:
Bobby Guerrero (5-8, 4.00 ERA) vs. Ian Prevost (5-7, 3.80 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (3-2, 3.12 ERA) vs. Chris Sinkhorn (6-4, 3.52 ERA)
Matt Huf (1-0, 2.25 ERA) vs. Michael Foreman (7-7, 4.25 ERA)
Ryan Nielson (3-2, 1.73 ERA) vs. Morgan Shepherd (2-6, 5.23 ERA)

As usual, Chris Sinkhorn was their only left-handed starter. Since last week, they had moved Dan March to the DL with fractured rib, but whether they’d be missing his .249 batting average too much was up in the air.

Game 1
MIL: SS Tadlock – LF Berntson – CF Coleman – RF Gore – 3B A. Velez – C Wool – 1B Reese – 2B Stewart – P Prevost
POR: LF Carmona – SS Stalker – RF Alfaro – 1B Rockwell – 3B Nunley – C Rice – CF Stevenson – 2B Armetta – P Guerrero

Every four days, the Raccoons found a run in them; Nunley drove in Tim Stalker in the first inning with a bases-loaded single after the previous three batters had reached in order on a walk, a single, and another walk. Danny Rice flew out to shallow right and Brad Gore, and Josh Stevenson struck out to strand three. Bobby Guerrero did his best to pitch a control game against the Loggers and held them off the board through four innings, but a walk to reigning Player of the Year Ian Coleman and Brad Gore’s subsequent double in the fourth inning tied the score. Tyler Stewart walked with one out in the fifth and got bunted over by Prevost. Ron Tadlock legged out a grounder where Guerrero and Rice got into each other’s whiskers trying to field it and had an infield single, but Jon Berntson grounded out to Nunley to keep them on the corners in a 1-1 game.

Tim Stalker’s double in the bottom 5th went unexploited, but the Loggers in turn had Gore hit into a double play in the sixth, erasing Coleman’s leadoff single. But Guerrero was crumbling… Alberto Velez doubled, and Josh Wool homered to right center to move the Loggers into the lead. When Matt Nunley hit a leadoff double in the bottom 6th, Prevost struck out the next three batters, giving him nine whiffs in the game. Guerrero lasted through the seventh against (mostly) the bottom of the order, and as a reward was taken off the hook in the bottom of the inning. Following Cookie Carmona’s 1-out single, Stalker also got on base. Alfaro, the go-ahead run, struck out for the third time, but Gil Rockwell chipped a ball through the infield for a single that loaded the bases with two down. Nunley grounded up the middle, past Stewart, and two runs scored to tie the contest. Danny Rice then lined out hard to Stewart to end the inning. After that, MacCarthy, Bricker, and Davis kept the Loggers where they were in regulation, and when Cookie singled off Justin Guerin to lead off the bottom 9th, that was both his 100th base hit of the season and also the winning run on base with nobody out. Everybody expected Cookie to run, because that’s what Cookie does, but the Coons stunned their own fans when Stalker dropped down a bunt instead. Greedy Guerin tried to get the lead runner, but had apparently forgotten who that lead runner was. Instead, the Loggers got nobody and Alfaro – no RBI in 19 AB – was up with the winning run in scoring position. Guerin struck him out – and thus Alfaro got his first golden sombrero before his first RBI. Rockwell also struck out. Oh well, leave it to Nunley – he had all our RBI in this game - … and he grounded out. Extras! There, the Coons left Danny Rice on third base in the 10th, while Ivan Morales drilled Cookie to begin the bottom 11th. Stalker didn’t bunt this time, nor did Cookie run, but he reached second base anyway when Velez bobbled Stalker’s grounder for an error. And here comes Alfaro. Don’t you DARE striking out! You are supposed to give us ****ing HOPE!! Nah, he struck out. Gil Rockwell singled to right, moving Cookie to third, but Brad Gore was all over the ball and made those c’mon-make-me-throw-it arm motions. Cookie stayed put. Bases loaded for Nunley. All eyes on Matt! 1-0 pitch, sharp grounder to right, past Stewart – it’s a walkoff!! 4-3 Coons. Carmona 2-5; Rockwell 2-5, BB; Nunley 4-6, 2B, 4 RBI; Rice 2-5;

Game 2
MIL: SS Tadlock – 1B Jaeger – CF Coleman – RF Gore – LF Berntson – C Wool – 3B A. Velez – 2B Stewart – P Sinkhorn
POR: LF Carmona – CF Stevenson – RF Alfaro – 1B Rockwell – 3B Nunley – 2B Pelles – SS Stalker – C Olivares – P Gutierrez

Omar Alfaro got his first career RBI in the first inning on … well, technically another Velez error. It allowed Cookie to score from third base after opening the inning with a double to left. Gutierrez, who hit an infield single in the bottom 2nd and brought Cookie up with two on and two out, a situation that was ended with a grounder to Stewart to end the frame, struck out four batters the first time through the order and looked generally a bit less like a catapult as he had in his last two starts. But he sure angered the Loggers by hitting Kevin Jaeger in the wrist in the third inning. Jaeger left the game (although reports eventually came back negative with no fractures detected) to be replaced by Wes Ladd. When he wasn’t giving the Loggers free runners, Gutierrez was mostly unthreatened in the game, if you were willing to ignore an Ian Coleman triple that led nowhere. Gutierrez even laced a leadoff double in the bottom 5th, but couldn’t find anybody to plate him in the top of the order…

Bottom 6th, and Gil Rockwell’s leadoff triple made scoring imperative. Nunley swiftly grounded out to first, and Ruben Pelles got drilled, so at least he couldn’t do something pathetic. Tim Stalker came up, knocked a ball hard up the third base line and through the slowly reacting Velez. The RBI double upped the score to 2-0, and the Loggers elected to walk the .195 threat Olivares intentionally to get the pitcher to the plate with three on and one out. Gutierrez grounded back to the mound, with Sinkhorn getting the out at home plate, but that was his last out in the game. Cookie and Stevenson both singled, plated three between them, and sent Sinkhorn to the showers, down 5-0. Ivan Morales retired Alfaro on a fly to center to end the inning. The Critters added an unearned run on a Brad Gore throwing error in the seventh, but Gutierrez’ shutout bid ended in the eighth inning – by force of nature. With summer over in Portland by July 15, a rain shower quickly doused all hopes for the shutout, with Cory Dew collecting the final five outs after a 40-minute rain delay, while the Coons scored two more runs on Alex Hichez in the bottom 8th, but those runs were both error- and wild-pitch-aided. 8-0 Furballs. Carmona 2-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Stevenson 2-5, RBI; Alfaro 2-5, RBI; Rockwell 2-5, 3B; Nunley 2-5, RBI; Gutierrez 7.1 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 8 K, W (4-2) and 2-4, 2B; Dew 1.2 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

Game 3
MIL: SS Tadlock – LF Berntson – CF Coleman – RF Gore – 3B A. Velez – C Wool – 1B Reese – 2B Stewart – P Foreman
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Stalker – RF Alfaro – 1B Rockwell – 3B Nunley – C Rice – SS Bullock – CF Romero – P Huf

The first three innings saw three leadoff walks in total, but no scoring and only one base hit (which was the Loggers’). Matt Huf walked the leadoff man in the second and third innings, while Romero drew four wide ones in the Coons’ third, but, alas, no tally early. Huf would also walk Tom Reese leading off the fifth inning, but then recovered by striking out Stewart the ordinary way, Foreman struck out while he tried to bunt, and then Reese was caught stealing anyway with Tadlock at the plate. The Coons didn’t get a base knock until the bottom of this fifth inning, Rice knocking a ball into center leading off. Foreman ran full counts to him and two more batters, walking Bullock before Romero popped out. Huf had them on the corners and was told to swing. His first career base hit followed, a single to right that scored Rice with the first run of the game. A walk to Cookie loaded the bags for Stalker, who grounded out, but scored a second run in Bullock. Omar Alfaro hit a 3-1 pitch to deep left, but not past Jon Berntson, ending the fifth.

Huf would steer clear of trouble for a while, at least until the Loggers rapped off three singles in the seventh inning by Velez, Reese, and Stewart. The latter two occurred with two outs, and Cookie threw home on Stewart’s single, couldn’t get Velez, and allowed the runners to reach scoring position for PH Mike Denny replacing Foreman. That also got Huf replaced, with Noah Bricker to face the former Raccoon, but he allowed a double to center that beat Ricardo Comero by several dozen feet as it bounced on the track. Denny’s double flipped the score and hung Huf on the hook at least for a little while. Ruben Pelles tripled when he pinch-hit for Bricker in the bottom 7th, then scored on Cookie’s clean single to left, which tied the score. After stealing second base, Cookie scored on Stalker’s single to right center, and the Coons had the lead back. That score flip turned out to last; between Logan Sloan, Manobu Sugano, and Brett Lillis, the Raccoons collected consecutive outs from the next six batters. 4-3 Raccoons. Rice 2-4; Pelles (PH) 1-1, 3B; Huf 6.2 IP, 5 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 3 BB, 4 K and 1-1, RBI;

This was the sixth win of the season for Bricker (although tainted), which put him solely atop all players on the 25-man roster. He trailed Jonny Toner (DL) and tied Frank Kelly (traded) and Travis Garrett (disgraced) for second place overall. Guerrero followed with five, and then it was already Gutierrez with four.

Game 4
MIL: SS Tadlock – 1B Jaeger – CF Coleman – RF Gore – LF Berntson – 3B A. Velez – C Denny – 2B Stewart – P Shepherd
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Stalker – RF Alfaro – 1B Rockwell – 3B Nunley – C Rice – SS Bullock – CF Metts – P Nielson

While Cookie was caught stealing for only the fourth time this year in the bottom of the first inning, Ryan Nielson was perfect the first time through the order, whiffing five Loggers on the way. Cookie would be on again in the bottom 3rd with another single, then got double-played off the bags by Stalker’s grounder to Ron Tadlock. The bottom 4th saw the first two Critters reach with singles, as Alfaro hit one clean to right, while Gil Rockwell’s didn’t leave the infield, or even reach the mound. Now Nunley was the double play bloke, and Rice struck out to keep Alfaro on third.

No score through four, with the Loggers getting their first base runner in the top of the fifth, Brad Gore drawing a leadoff walk. Berntson got him forced on a fielder’s choice, and eventually was caught stealing as Nielson continued to face the minimum for just a bit longer, although Mike Denny’s leadoff double in the sixth at least put an end to the no-hitter party Maud was dreaming of throwing again one day. The rest of the Loggers cohort made poor outs, keeping Denny on base and the game scoreless, though… at least for a little bit longer. Tim Stalker cracked a leadoff jack in the bottom of the inning, giving the Critters a 1-0 lead. Rice would hit into a double play in the inning, coming up with Alfaro and Nunley on base and one out and hitting one hard to Stewart. Both runners had been walked by Shepherd.

Davis lasted seven and a third, but walked Berntson to start the top of the eighth. He struck out Velez before departing for Joel Davis to face the two right-handers at the bottom of the order. Four straight balls put Denny aboard, but Stewart struck out. That pulled up left-handed catcher Josh Wool to pinch-hit for Shepherd, and Sugano was washed forth from the Raccoons’ bullpen. He threw one pitch, on which Wool singled to center to load the bases. Now what? Cory Dew came in to face off with Tadlock – and rung him up! PHEW!! No insurance run came forward before it was Brett Lillis’ turn to face the 2-3-4 batters in the ninth. Jaeger fouled out on the first pitch; Coleman flew out to Cookie in left; and Gore struck out. It’s a 4-game sweep! 1-0 Blighters! Carmona 2-4; Nielson 7.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 8 K, W (4-2);

In other news

July 12 – BOS SP Jose Fuentes (7-7, 3.43 ERA) has his season cut short by ulnar nerve irritation.
July 14 – BOS INF/LF Mike Kane (.284, 4 HR, 34 RBI) hits a solo home run in the seventh inning that remains the only tally in the Titans’ 1-0 win over the Canadiens.

Complaints and stuff

Well, it was only a short week, but we were undefeated this week! Poor Loggers. They are in hell. They are now – and again, as defending champions – 22 1/2 games behind the Titans, and it is barely the latter half of July! Maybe it’s a gypsy curse, maybe it’s lead in the water, maybe it’s “one ring’s enough”. I know I’d die for just one more ring. In fact that is what I hope for every night I go to bed. To live long enough to win one … more… ring.

I keep being amazed at how the scrap heap pitchers perform. Excluding Guerrero, who was there from the start of the season, our four starting pitchers have a combined ERA of *2.30* …!! If we’d been anywhere close to that with our staff at the beginning of the year, maybe my nightmares would be less right now… (The 2.30 mark comes in 121.2 innings combined between Gutierrez, Huf, Nielson, and Taylor, not counting Huf’s innings for the Blue Sox)

Side note on the pitching depth: Ricky Martinez, who had pitched to a 4.58 ERA in AAA after his demotion following his 7.26 ERA with the Critters, has hit the DL for the balance of the season due to radial nerve compression. Meanwhile Jesus Chavez rejoined the AAA rotation earlier this month, but it’s been a mixed bag for him since. Four starts, including one on this Sunday, with only one win and only one escape from the seventh inning (only two from the sixth). Watching that one closely, because Taylor is the one I expect to explode first, and then we’d need a swift switch for Chavez, who turns 25 on Tuesday. He was 1-4 with a 5.72 ERA for the ’21 Coons.

In other injury news, Jarod Spencer started a rehab assignment on Friday and should rejoin us by the next weekend. Not sure whom to dump yet.

The exhaustive list of Raccoons that have gobbled up five strikeouts in a game (* = regulation game):

Wyatt Johnston (1979)
Winston Thompson (1987)
Vern Kinnear (1995)
Mike Crowe (1998) *
Conceicao Guerin (2000) *
Mike Denny (2018) *
Omar Alfaro (2022)

Alfaro is also the first ABL player to achieve the feat this year. There is one shining will-make-us-great prospect on the list that did not pan out the least little bit (Crowe), but also players we like to remember (Thompson) or that I do like to remember, but I keep remembering the wrong things about them (Kinnear). Also, Johnston turned 80 earlier this year. Good for him!

Fun fact: The only ABL player ever to strike out seven times in a game of any kind is Washington’s Stephen Buell, collecting his seven free trips to the dugout on July 7, 2002.

OF COURSE Stephen Buell was a Raccoon originally! How could it be otherwise? 2002 was the last time this career .263 batter with nine home runs (in just under 2,000 at-bats), that last appeared in the majors at age 28 in 2004, gobbled up at least 100 at-bats. With 293 AB for the 2002 Capitals, Buell batted a raging .229/.309/.270… and that in a power position!

Yes, the Capitals had a losing record that year. How could it otherwise be? You could put three Daniel Halls, two Neil Reeces, and a Tetsu Osanai in a lineup with Buell and he would manage to make them lose. There is also no shortstop and hardly an infielder in that lineup, but that was not the point. Use a flyball pitcher, collect outs by your six outfielders…

We should do such experiments in the next decade as we try to mix and match never-will-be’s into the next above-.500 team. Anybody remember the fun we had with the All-Yoshi middle infield in 2005?

(Chad – in full costume – has been standing in the middle of the office all the time; at the word “fun” he suddenly starts to dance to animate the not-present fans)

Chad. That was NOT your cue.

(Chad dances on anyway)

[Westheim]

Raccoons (47-45) @ Crusaders (46-47) – July 18-20, 2022

The Crusaders had a 6-3 edge in the season series in 2022, but had lost their last four games, while the Raccoons had romped the Loggers coming out of the All Star break. The Crusaders had the lowest batting average in the Continental League, but still scored the eighth-most runs. Their pitching was – frankly – amazing and they were conceding the least runs. Their pitching was in fact so good that they had a +52 run differential solely because of their 3.6 runs allowed per game. And, well, yeah, it still didn’t help them anything.

Projected matchups:
Trevor Taylor (0-2, 3.75 ERA) vs. Dave Butler (4-2, 3.07 ERA)
Bobby Guerrero (5-8, 3.99 ERA) vs. Alejandro Mendez (4-8, 3.91 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (4-2, 2.57 ERA) vs. Mike Rutowski (11-2, 1.92 ERA)

Left, right, right; watch out for the home runs – that Jake Williams kid has already hit 15 of them – and while they are dead last in stolen bases, we still may not want to fall asleep when they’re on base.

Game 1
POR: LF Carmona – CF Stevenson – RF Alfaro – 1B Rockwell – 3B Nunley – 2B Stalker – SS Bullock – C Olivares – P Taylor
NYC: CF Loya – SS Hebberd – 2B S. Valdez – 1B Perkins – C A. Gonzales – 3B Schmit – LF J. Williams – RF Abraham – P D. Butler

You know you’re not gonna win anything this week when in the first inning on Monday the lead-footed opposing catcher hits a 3-run triple off your cast of castoffs. Trevor Taylor had conceded a single to Ricky Loya, had walked Sergio Valdez, and had nicked Josh Perkins to create a mess in the first place. Andy Schmit’s single gave the Crusaders a 4-0 lead, and the Crusaders would bat through the order in the inning thanks to Tim Stalker dropping a pop by Craig Abraham. The second inning saw Ezequiel Olivares get the Coons back into the game with a 3-run homer, collecting Stalker and Bullock, but Taylor was just not up to the task. Bill Hebberd doubled, Valdez walked again, and then he hit another batter with a 1-2 pitch, this time Gonzales. The count on Andy Schmit ran full with two outs, and Schmit over-eagerly swung at a pitch two feet outside to end the inning – kudos to Olivares for containing that pitch that could have easily made it across the river to New Jersey judging by the angle. Despite briefly holding a lead after Gil Rockwell’s 2-run shot in the top of the third inning, Taylor was not going to get anything done. He was yanked right in the same inning after allowing three more hits, a walk … and hitting another batter. Logan Sloan inherited a 6-5 deficit, three on, and one out, and surrendered two runs on Gonzales’ 2-out single before ending the inning with a K to Schmit, thus the Crusaders led 8-5 after three innings. Yeah right, they sure aren’t scoring a lot.

While Butler wouldn’t get the W, either, being removed after four shoddy innings, the Raccoons sure had their chance in the fifth against right-hander Ed Hague. Stevenson reached base with a walk and advanced on a groundout. Rockwell singled him in, 8-6, and Nunley reached on Schmit’s error. A passed ball put the tying runs into scoring position for the young middle infielders, who immediately crapped out, with Stalker bouncing right back to Hague and Bullock popping out to short. Sloan only pitched 2.2 innings in relief, and those were terrible as well, conceding five hits, two walks, and one run charged to himself, driven in again by Gonzales with a single in the bottom 5th. At that point, Alfonso Gonzales had three hits and six ribbies in a 9-6 game. The Crusaders considered that a job well done even after Josh Stevenson’s RBI double in the sixth inning, but the Coons remained down, 9-7, through the seventh and eighth innings. Cookie softening an 0-for-4 with a leadoff walk in the ninth off Steve Casey, however, would bring up the tying run, including two nominal sluggers. Stevenson grounded out to first base, Josh Perkins handling the ball, which was not at all helpful, nor was Alfaro’s grounder to Sergio Valdez. Cookie was on third now, yeah, but that was Gil Rockwell in the box and two outs on the board. Another two red lights for strikes came on before Rockwell rammed a ball to left center on the 1-2, and this one was going well, well, more well, and OUTTA HERE!!! That one tied the game, and Joel Davis got the team to extra innings, where Daniel Bullock hit a 1-out double against Casey in the tenth, but was left on base by Rice pinch-hitting and grounding out, and Ruben Pelles’ 0-2 drive being intercepted by Craig Abraham in deep right. The Raccoons were not only mighty short on clutch hitting, but also on pitching. Despite several multi-inning outings by the bullpen, by the 11th the sand in the clock started to run out. Thankfully, we’d not have to worry about it too much. The game ended in the bottom 11th, on a first-pitch, 2-out home run by Giacobbe Vaccari off Noah Bricker, handing “Bloody” Bricker his first loss of the season. 10-9 Crusaders. Rockwell 3-5, 2 HR, 5 RBI; Bullock 3-5, 2B; MacCarthy 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K; Davis 2.1 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K;

This was the 22-year-old Venezuelan Vaccari’s first career hit. Because why wouldn’t it be?

And if you catch yourself mumbling that you absolutely can’t remember the last time Gil Rockwell homered before dinging #10 and #11 (and by extension, #403 and #404) in vain – well, how come you don’t remember his sixth-inning solo shot against Leon Hernandez in the Coons’ 7-1 win … on MAY 30!

(deep sigh)

Game 2
POR: LF Carmona – RF Alfaro – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – 2B Stalker – SS Bullock – CF Romero – P Guerrero
NYC: CF Loya – SS Hebberd – 2B S. Valdez – 1B Perkins – C A. Gonzales – 3B Schmit – LF J. Williams – RF Abraham – P A. Mendez

There sat the Crusaders and thought, that lineup had plated TEN against the Critters – send the boys out again! Those Critters meanwhile needed a good long outing from Bobby Guerrero with a bullpen in tethers. Said Guerrero struck Ricky Loya with a 3-1 pitch right in the first inning, but then got Hebberd to ground into a double play. Yeah, whatever ****ing works!

The game remained scoreless through five innings. The Raccoons had five hits, including a pair of Danny Rice doubles, but somehow had failed to score a run, with a man caught stealing (Bullock) and two double plays to their demerit. Guerrero held the Crusaders down, somehow, despite showing next to no stuff. His first strikeout was “Ant” Mendez in the bottom 5th; Mendez had singled in the third inning. Guerrero had been close to bleeding three (unearned, thanks to a Bullock error) runs in the bottom 4th, but Jake Williams’ drive to right had died and dropped into Omar Alfaro’s glove next to the fence. Ricky Loya however did ding him for a 2-out solo shot in the bottom 5th, and that one went to centerfield and gave New York a 1-0 lead. Guerrero’s spot would come up with two outs in the seventh inning and Ricardo Romero on base. A team with a less battered bullpen would have sent a qualified player to bat, but the Raccoons had still hope that Guerrero could pitch eight in a loss and their pen would be reset for Wednesday, mostly. He grounded out to Hebberd. And Guerrero did give his all, pitching through even getting struck in the bum by Andy Schmit’s low liner in the bottom 7th, but the at-bats became increasingly longer, Abraham hit a 2-out single in a full count, and Guerrero barely got Mendez to hit the ball to a defender, in this case Romero. With 111 pitches on the clock, he was done after seven – and still on the hook. Cookie hit a leadoff single in the eighth – the Coons’ eighth base hit – but was caught stealing. Rice singled in the ninth, but Stevenson and Bullock made the final outs without even moving him to second base, let alone around the edges of the infield. 1-0 Crusaders. Carmona 2-4; Rice 3-4, 2 2B; Romero 1-2, BB; Guerrero 7.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 2 K, L (5-9);

Game 3
POR: LF Carmona – SS Stalker – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – RF Alfaro – 2B Pelles – CF Stevenson – P Gutierrez
NYC: CF Loya – SS Hebberd – 2B S. Valdez – 1B Perkins – 3B Schmit – RF J. Williams – C Travis – LF McCullough – P Rutkowski

A potentially crucial non-play occurred right in the first inning with Andy Schmit dropping a foul pop by Gil Rockwell, who batted with two on and one out and had his life extended in a 2-2 count with the error. He hit a single to left on the next pitch, with Stalker and Nunley moving up to fill the bags for Danny Rice, who grounded up the middle to Valdez, who had no trouble to turn two. So much for exploiting the other team’s mistakes. When Cookie and Nunley were in scoring position in the third, Rockwell would strike out to end the inning. Again there was no score in the first four innings, and this time not even in the fifth. The Raccoons were … oh well. And the Crusaders were not really getting the bats up against the left-hander Gutierrez, who allowed only two hits through five innings, plus two walks, one of those having been intentional.

The first run appeared on the board in the seventh inning, which started with Omar Alfaro squeezing the barest of singles up the middle. Ruben Pelles failed on a hit-and-run, but Alfaro was safe at second anyway, then had to hold there when Pelles grounded out to short. Josh Stevenson was more successful, banging a ball through Josh Perkins and up the line for an RBI double. Yay, Coons have the lead! That was all that Gutierrez, who flew out to left while Cookie struck out, was gonna get. Bottom 7th, Schmit singled hard to center, and then Josh Stevenson nearly got his head taken off by the evil fence in left center as he tried to contain Kevin McCullough’s 2-out drive. He didn’t quite, but the smashing sound was heard all over the park and probably led to Schmit’s misstep around second base. He stumbled, and that cost him a wee bit of time. He turned third on the double, but retreated to the base with Stevenson’s screaming throw approaching the infield. Stevenson soon had more to do – Rutkowksi drove a real rocket to center that Josh had to contain … and did so for the third out, stranding runners on second and third. Rutkowski went 7.2 innings before the trainer collected him for unknown reasons, while Gutierrez pitched 7.1 innings, just long enough to blow the lead on Hebberd’s single, a wild pitch, and then Valdez’ double. The go-ahead run got to third base against MacCarthy, but Noah Bricker got Gonzales to ground out to short to keep the Crusaders from zooming ahead.

Bottom 9th, Bricker still pitching and trying to avoid losing twice in the same series. McCullough hit a 1-out single, but he got Vacarri, Monday’s walkoff hero, for the second out. With that, Ricky Loya, who was Tuesday’s home run hero, came to bat, nursing an 0-for-4, but struck out. And that would have been it for the inning if Rice could have come up with the ball. He didn’t, Loya reached first base, and the inning continued, with left-hander Steve Witt batting for the pitcher in the #2 hole. Sugano relieved Bricker and collected the strikeout, sending the game to overtime, where Sam Armetta opened affairs with an infield single against left-hander Joe Jones. Now Jason Travis was charged with a passed-ball that advanced the go-ahead run. Cookie singled to right, but Ivan Murillo was on the ball quickly and Armetta couldn’t score from second base. Runners on the corners, no outs – and the Coons BARELY scored a run on Nunley’s sac fly. Nunley also started a double play on Schmit to end the game when Brett Lillis was close to falling apart again… 2-1 Coons. Armetta 1-1; Gutierrez 7.1 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 5 K;

Interlude: Trades and roster moves

Thursday was off for the Raccoons players, but not for their front office, and two deals were lined up that would then be finalized on Friday:

The Raccoons sent MR Joel Davis (0-2, 1.54 ERA, 2 SV) to the Condors, receiving a 21-year-old switch-hitting catcher named Ricky Ortiz from single-A in return.

Furthermore, the Raccoons sent INF Ruben Pelles (.260, 5 HR, 21 RBI) and AAA SP Dave Dyer to the Thunder for a 22-year old left-hander, AAA CL Hector Morales.

The deserted roster spots were taken over by Jarod Spencer, who was activated from a rehab assignment that saw him batting a healthy .095 with the Alley Cats, and right-hander Joe Moore, who had made five appearances with Portland earlier in the year.

These two prospects are not exactly of the nature that knocks you out of your shoes. But somehow I have trouble f.e. to trade my middle relievers, with Bricker being absolutely immovable to my utmost surprise, and Pelles would have ended up on waivers if we hadn’t been able to involve him in this deal. Dave Dyer had utterly failed last season during his major-league debut, and I don’t think he will make the Hall of Fame. Maybe. Morales has wicked stuff, but bad control, and we’ll have to see whether that can be reined in.

Raccoons (48-47) @ Bayhawks (41-53) – July 22-24, 2022

After a rotten offensive team (u-hum!) we’d get a rotten defensive team. The Bayhawks ranked near the bottom in runs allowed – allowing exactly five per game – with the worst rotation outright. Their pen was also in the bottom three. Offensively, they were seventh in runs scored, but there wasn’t much ado with a team with a -66 run differential in July. We held a 2-1 edge in the season series.

Projected matchups:
Matt Huf (1-0, 2.31 ERA) vs. Graham Wasserman (7-9, 4.42 ERA)
Ryan Nielson (4-2, 1.47 ERA) vs. Joao Joo (5-6, 4.99 ERA)
Jesus Chavez (0-0) vs. Chris Brooks (1-4, 6.79 ERA)

Chavez had been added at the expense of Trevor Taylor (0-3, 8.16 ERA) for this series after recovering from injury. The handedness for starters in this series would match for all three games, so we’d get right-left-right.

Game 1
POR: LF Carmona – SS Stalker – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – RF Alfaro – 2B Spencer – CF Metts – P Huf
SFB: RF Contreras – 2B G. Gonzalez – CF D. Garcia – 1B J. Gonzalez – LF R. Gomez – SS Sanks – 3B Carper – C R. Hernandez – P Wasserman

Another passed ball on Rice allowed the Bayhawks to score a run in the first inning. Matt Huf had walked leadoff man Victor Contreras, and the passed ball helped in moving him around for sure. Huf was off with his control right away and walked two more batters in the second inning, in which the Bayhawks loaded the bases but then had Wasserman and Contreras strike out to leave all men stranded. The Coons had to wait for the third inning to have the bases loaded, the state being achieved on a leadoff walk drawn by Huf (!), then 1-out singles by Stalker (who extended a hitting streak to 11 games) and Nunley. Gil Rockwell flew out to Dave Garcia (for once not injured!) in centerfield, and Rice rolled out to Gerardo Gonzalez.

Huf never ceased being awful and lasted only five innings. Allowing six hits and five walks, he had to consider himself lucky that the Bayhawks only got him for three runs, including a home run by Jon Gonzalez in the fourth. The Raccoons had scored a run in the top of the fifth inning, Cookie singling in leadoff and scoring on Rockwell’s 2-out single past John Carper. The Bayhawks extended their lead to 4-1 in the bottom 6th against Cory Dew, who conceded a double to Raúl Hernandez on his very first pitch and didn’t recover from that instant runner. That didn’t mean they had already lost. Wasserman continued to put runners on base, and the Raccoons loaded them up again in the seventh inning. With two outs, the 3-4-5 batters all reached base to pull up Omar Alfaro, who had gone through his first 50 at-bats without homering and with only one depressing RBI. By now his OPS had dropped to .622 and maybe the Age of Omar was not the shining bright future I had envisioned. Suddenly I remembered Clyde Brady quite vividly. Alfaro grounded out to first. He would later be the final out in the game, after Sloan and MacCarthy had combined to surrender another run and after Gil Rockwell had knocked a 2-run homer in the ninth to create late tension. All for naught. Rice grounded out and Alfaro whiffed for a neat 0-for-5 day. 5-3 Bayhawks. Stalker 2-4; Rockwell 3-5, HR, 3 RBI; Rice 3-5, 2B;

There was a shakeup in the Bayhawks rotation by Saturday, as they had traded 26-year old and rather dismal Chris Brooks to the Stars for #64 prospect 1B Bob Lloyd. We may now face a different right-hander on Sunday, probably Rodolfo Cervantes (0-2, 5.16 ERA), a 25-year old rookie, or Edgar Bermudez (3-2, 6.75 ERA), a 31-year old career nobody.

Game 2
POR: LF Carmona – CF Stevenson – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – 2B Spencer – SS Stalker – RF Alfaro – C Olivares – P Nielson
SFB: RF Booker – C R. Hernandez – 3B D. Garcia – LF R. Gomez – 1B J. Gonzalez – SS Sanks – CF Contreras – 2B Carper – P Joo

There was but one left-handed position player (Contreras) in the lineup, and Nielson struggled. But perhaps this was his realignment game, since a 1-something ERA after 49 innings was certainly not what he baseball gods had ultimately in mind for him. However, despite a few hard hit balls in the early innings, the Bayhawks failed to pierce him before the fourth inning broke. There, Nielson issued a leadoff walk to Hernandez, then got bombed by Dave Garcia, whose body was so thoroughly hollowed out by a tribe of resident termites that this was only his third home run of the season. It put the Bayhawks up 2-0, the Raccoons not having done anything memorable up to this point. They had but one hit through five innings, a Stalker single that ran his hitting streak to 12 games, and yet he was STILL far from batting even .250 …

Top 6th, Matt Nunley got robbed of a maybe-home run by Rafael Gomez, who launched himself up at the wall and picked the ball right off the top of it. So close to two base hits in six innings! The Bayhawks would tap Nielson for three base hits to lead off the bottom 6th, scoring a run, but after the heroics of Hernandez, Garcia, and Gomez, Nielson struck out Jon Gonzalez, Shane Sanks, and got a pop from Contreras to escape his final inning with a somewhat solid line of six innings and three runs on five hits and three walks, whiffing six.

On to the seventh, with Rockwell and Spencer hitting leadoff singles to left to pull up the tying run. Now it comes! Now the Coons will come through! Stalker popped out, pulling up Alfaro, who’s bouncer eluded the natural born outfielder Garcia at the hot corner for an RBI single. Doesn’t matter! Any ****ing way to give the kid some confidence before I use him for target practice with the blunderbuss after all! Between Olivares and Bullock, however, the Critters scored zero additional runs, with both being retired on soft pops on the verges of the infield dirt. Noah Bricker got poked for a run in the bottom of the inning, and the Baybirds got two more off Joe Moore, who allowed his first big league home run to Victor Contreras in the eighth. With two outs in the ninth and Rockwell on second base, Sam Armetta batted for Alfaro because he made me sad, and promptly hit an RBI single to left. Oh cruel world! Why do you hate me this much!? 6-2 Bayhawks. Armetta (PH) 1-1, RBI;

Game 3
POR: LF Carmona – SS Stalker – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – RF Stevenson – 2B Spencer – CF Metts – P Chavez
SFB: RF Contreras – 3B Booker – CF D. Garcia – 1B J. Gonzalez – LF R. Gomez – SS Sanks – 2B G. Gonzalez – C R. Hernandez – P Cervantes

The Coons cobbled together a run in the first on Nunley’s 2-out double and Rockwell’s RBI single, both to the left side. Handing the 1-0 lead over to Chavez, the Raccoons saw it splinter in seconds, with a walk to Contreras and then a HUGE homer by Jon Gonzalez, his seventh of the season, all in the bottom of the first. Rodolfo Cervantes not only struck out five in the first three innings, nope, he also led off the bottom 3rd with a double into the gap. Contreras hit another one right away, advancing the Bayhawks’ sweep bid to 3-1, and Dave Garcia would cash his outfield mate in with a single, 4-1, before running his team out of the inning, being caught off first base when Jon Gonzalez lined out to Spencer and getting doubled off.

While Cervantes struck out nine in six innings, the Bayhawks tapped Chavez with nine hits and six runs in 5.2 innings. Raúl Hernandez’ 2-out RBI double ran the score to 6-1 and got Chavez finally evicted, with Cory Dew retiring Roger Allen on strikes. Allen had batted for Cervantes, who was not a very enduring pitcher. Yeah, well, you can just as well bring on the pen, I guess. Danny Rice’s leadoff single against Kyle Gershman in the seventh aside, the Coons were not exactly devouring him. Dew got battered for three hits and two runs in the bottom of the seventh inning, the runs scoring with two outs on Jon Gonzalez’ RBI double and Rafael Gomez’ RBI triple before Logan Sloan restored order and struck out Sanks. Gil Rockwell homered in the ninth for no good reason. 8-2 Bayhawks. Carmona 2-4, 2B; Rockwell 2-4, HR, 2 RBI;

In other news

July 20 – CIN RF/LF/1B Hugo Mendoza (.256, 18 HR, 64 RBI) knocks his second home run for his new team in an 8-1 Cyclones win over the Miners, which is also the 300th of his career. The 7-time All Star and 2016 FL Player of the Year has hit .314 with 300 HR and 1,150 RBI for his career with the Stars, Raccoons, and now Cyclones.
July 20 – The Rebels lose their closer Mike Greene (4-4, 3.12 ERA, 22 SV) for the season. The 23-year old left-hander has been diagnosed with elbow inflammation.
July 20 – The Indians swap swingman Killian Savoie (9-4, 3.85 ERA) to the Capitals for two prospects.
July 21 – The Crusaders give up and trade SP Hwa-pyung Choe (8-6, 2.19 ERA) to the Scorpions. New York receives two prospects, including #5 CL Gilberto “Tug” Castillo.
July 21 – The Capitals pick up CF/LF Todd Sanborn (.246, 6 HR, 37 RBI) from the Buffaloes, leaving them with SS Kyle Burns (.272, 2 HR, 34 RBI) and a third-rate prospect.
July 21 – A broken finger will put VAN C Ryan Holliman (.259, 16 HR, 48 RBI) away for at least a month.
July 22 – The Thunder send SP Franklin Alvarado (8-2, 2.69 ERA) to the Aces for two meager prospects.
July 23 – OCT SS Lorenzo Rivera (.287, 1 HR, 43 RBI) will probably not return until September after tearing his meniscus.
July 23 – BOS INF/LF Mike Kane (.291, 4 HR, 41 RBI) lands three hits with a double and drives in six runs in the Titans’ 10-0 rout of the Thunder.
July 24 – To the shelf for six to seven weeks goes BOS INF Jamie Wilson (.218, 2 HR, 20 RBI), who has broken his thumb.
July 24 – The Falcons rout the Canadiens, 12-0, with #7 batter C Tim Robinson (.278, 19 HR, 52 RBI) connecting for three hits, including two home runs, and 5 RBI.

Complaints and stuff

In short, Gil Rockwell hit four home runs this week, and the Raccoons still lost five games. Also, they scored nine runs in a loss on Monday, then scored nine runs for the rest of the week.

Before we left on the road trip, I put up a huge lawn sign reading “RELIEVERS FOR SALE”, but somehow it’s a tough chew to move the guys. I don’t know quite why f.e. Noah Bricker draws absolutely no love from teams. He’s now held up – more or less – for two seasons. There’s still a few good years left in this body, and especially two months to this season.

We have already traded a number of players, and slowly but surely we also have to consider which veterans to retain in the end to hold the cast of kits together the next few years. Toner, Rockwell, Cookie (team option), Lillis, Chavez, and Stevenson are the only players left with a guaranteed contract. Free agents are f.e. Guerrero, Nunley, Rice, and just about every reliever.

I don’t want to spend much money on a catcher, because we have Elias Tovias in AAA and he looks like an excellent defensive catcher, brighter than lightning, and I don’t want to block him by throwing money at Danny Rice. Nunley is a different deal, because the prospect I had lined up to replace him, Mike Grigsby, is about to fall apart, batting next to nothing in AA and AAA this year. Yeah sure, we still have Bullock, but I doubt we’ve rolled 3-for-3 on Bullock, Stalker, and Spencer, especially since none of them are setting opposing teams on fire. By the way, Bullock and Spencer combined marched over the 1,000 PA mark this week – without a single home run between them. That’s weak! Even Cookie hits two per year on average.

Money isn’t gonna be an issue – preliminary numbers say we’ll have $5.8M for extensions, but it’s probably smart to plan with half that since the Mexican Prick is not known for generosity. Maybe signing Nunley at the current rate ($1.1M) for a few more years and Guerrero to eat innings in the rotation will be the right moves to make. Also, Bricker – hey, if nobody wants him, I can just as well keep him.

Jonny Toner might still be here on Opening Day in 2023. The original estimate for his return was the middle of September, but that has since started to slide … backwards. He may not make another appearance this season, which in turn means he has hardly any value come the offseason. And we already discussed how Cookie has no value on the trade market, so we’re probably also going to have him around for 2023. Plus Rockwell – there is no way in hell we can get rid of him. Who did that trade…!?

On Thursday we signed SS Alberto Ramos from the Dominican for $362k, blowing through the soft cap in the process. We will thus not be able to sign anybody for more than roughly $34k next season, but that is 12 months from now and I will have to make it through another 140-some games before the next IFA period begins anyway. And every one of those games is HARD.

The final pitcher we were after, Dave Martinez, signed on Saturday, and he was also the final player left in the pool. Overall, the Raccoons spent $849k on the free agent pool, including $220k ransom for the bobbleheads in the league headquarters to fund their hookers and blow with. I mean, $220k in tax.

SS Alberto Ramos - $362k
SP Dave Martinez - $95k
SP Dante Saavedra - $86k
SP Mario Valdovinos - $76k
SP Manny Lerma - $10k

Fun fact: Jesus Chavez’ brilliant loss on Sunday also saw him as the tenth different starting pitcher we used this season.

That is not a record, but it is getting close, and we can take a little look into seasons long gone to shiver, shall we?

The 2013 Raccoons used a dozen starting pitchers. While Hector Santos, Rich Hood, and Bill Conway more or less lasted them all year, this was the year that Daniel Dickerson dropped dead in April, and Nick Brown dropped dead in May. That and constant rotation in the fifth slot saw the 67 starts not covered by the first three sprinkled between Colin Baldwin, Jonny Toner (in his rookie season), Jack Berry, Sergio Vega, Brownie, Dickerson, Ian Cumins, Mauro Castro, and Pat Slayton while the team tumbled to a third-place finish, 15 games out. This is one of only four seasons in which we used more than ten starting pitchers.

The 2012 Coons had used 11 pitchers, as did the dismantling team in 1997. There was only one other season in which the Coons used 12 pitchers: 2006 saw Ralph Ford and “Winless” Watanabe (8-16, 4.04 ERA) last the season, while Nick Brown, Tim Webster (!), and Kelly Fairchild (!!??) very much didn’t. Jose Dominguez chipped in, as did Felipe Garcia, “Fat Cat” Amador, Angel Romero, Rhett Carpenter (who??), Sergio Vega, and Kaz Kichida.

The low end? The 1993, 1995, and 2011 teams used only six starting pitchers. 1993 saw the most starts by the team’s top four: 158. Four starts went to Gabby De La Rosa, then a rookie swingman, when minor ailments befell Miguel Lopez and “Pooky” Beato.

Oh well, the 1990s dynasty. How long it has been since then… (glimpses at watch) Oh my, I almost forgot. (opens second drawer from the top and pulls out a multitude of different drug bottles) You see, with medication, even if they are not prescribed, it is very important that you take them at the right time. (starts unscrewing bottles) Remembering the 90s – and what followed – is always the right time for a little sleep-inducing cocktail… Slappy! – Have you seen the Capt’n Coma!?

[Westheim]

Raccoons (48-50) vs. Condors (50-49) – July 25-27, 2022

The Raccoons were on a roll … down a steep mountainside. As were the Condors, more or less. The Coons were 5-10 for their last 15 games, while the Condors were 2-6 for their last eight. One team had not had any dreams as the month had begun; the other team had had its dreams seen popped since the All Star break. Well, okay, the Condors were only 5 1/2 games out in the South, and the Falcons were a troubled bunch themselves, so maybe a walkover versus Portland was exactly what they needed. By now, these were the two lowest-scoring teams in the league, the Coons in 11th, and the Condors a whole bunch worse in 12th place. They were scoring a frigid 3.6 runs per game. There was hope to their pitching, with their rotation in fourth place, and their bullpen – recently enriched by Joel Davis – in second in the league, but that kind of putrid offense was hard to compensate. Their run differential was an unhealthy -42 (Coons: -2). The Critters held a 2-1 edge in the season series.

Projected matchups:
Bobby Guerrero (5-9, 3.84 ERA) vs. Rafael Cuenca (4-6, 3.26 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (4-2, 2.37 ERA) vs. Jose Menendez (6-10, 4.48 ERA)
Matt Huf (1-1, 2.86 ERA) vs. Kevin Clayton (6-7, 3.69 ERA)

All starters were right-handed for them. On the DL they had their centerfielder, Matt Jamieson, plus two former Raccoons pitchers, Seung-mo Chun and Cole Pierson.

The Raccoons had begun the week with a roster change, dumping the horrendous Dwayne Metts for the previously horrendous Zach Graves, but that was the player material we had to work with right now.

Game 1
TIJ: 3B B. Rojas – 1B McNeal – C Sanford – LF Larios – RF Boggs – CF J. Gonzales – 2B B. Torres – SS J. Estrada – P Cuenca
POR: LF Carmona – C Rice – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – RF Graves – CF Stevenson – SS Stalker – 2B Spencer – P Guerrero

Guerrero got picked apart with singles right away; Bob Rojas legged out an infield single, stole his 29th base of the season, and then scored on Pat Sanford’s single, the first of three consecutive Condors batters to single to left along with Omar Larios and Robby Boggs. For a change, Juan Gonzales singled to right, and the sad thing was that Guerrero was on two strikes against most of them and couldn’t retire any. Bobby Torres singled to center, scoring the Condors’ third run, before Juan Estrada popped to short and Cuenca struck out to strand three runners, finally. The Coons would draw two walks (Rice and Nunley) in the bottom of the first, but wouldn’t score, but unleashed some 2-out terror in the bottom of the third. Nunley walked again to start things, followed by straight 2-out singles by Rockwell, Graves, and Stevenson, the latter two each plating a runner to inch the team back to 3-2 before Stalker grounded out to Estrada. Little did we know then that not only was this the last run scored in the game – neither starter looked run-proof at this point – but that Bobby Guerrero would technically pitch a complete game… of five innings precisely. Rain broke as soon as the sixth inning got underway, with Guerrero already at 93 pitches. He threw two more in the inning to Gonzales, then lightning got into the mix. The game went to delay instantly, but the storm that had suddenly approached – the sun had been out as late as the fourth inning – would rage for hours. With the Condors ahead, the umpires called the game after two hours. 3-2 Condors. Nunley 0-1, 2 BB; Spencer 2-2;

Bright sides – we didn’t have to involve the bullpen in our misery.

Game 2
TIJ: SS B. Rojas – LF Larios – C Sanford – RF Boggs – 2B B. Torres – CF J. Gonzales – 1B Sauceda – 3B J. Estrada – P Menendez
POR: LF Carmona – C Rice – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – RF Graves – CF Stevenson – SS Bullock – 2B Spencer – P Gutierrez

The Condors scored again in the first inning, and again it involved Bob Rojas singling, stealing (#30), and finally scoring with Sanford batting, this time on a sac fly. The Condors would again pile up singles early, but couldn’t get more runs off Gutierrez despite five hits in the first three innings. Menendez was perfect the first time through the Critters’ order, but Cookie hit a leadoff double to left in the bottom of the fourth inning. Wouldn’t you know it, he was left on base. Rice grounded out, Nunley walked, Rockwell whiffed, and Graves rolled one over to Bobby Torres to end the inning. Probably even sadder from a neutral observer’s watch was the leadoff double that Menendez knocked to center in the fifth inning. Two strikeouts and after a walk to Sanford, Boggs’ pop to Nunley in foul ground had Menendez stranding right there at second base, four batters later.

The Coons had the bases loaded in the bottom of the inning. Walks to Stevenson and Bullock, a double steal, and an intentional walk to Jarod Spencer (how else would he ever walk?) pulled up Gutierrez with three on and nobody out. His grounder to first was instantly returned to home plate by Gabriel Sauceda, with Stevenson tagged out by Sanford. The bases remained loaded for Cookie, who flew out to Larios in shallow left, followed by Rice grounding out to Sauceda. Nobody scored. Ever. Gutierrez lasted seven good-ish innings, but still remained on the hook because the miserable lineup could not scrabble together a single run. They had two base hits off Menendez (and five walks) through seven innings. Cookie became the tying run to begin the bottom 8th, singling past Estrada into leftfield. Rice singled to center, and then Nunley hit into a double play and Rockwell struck out once more. Menendez came pretty close to a shutout, only running out of juice in the ninth inning after 116 pitches – those walks be damned! Jayden Reed struck out Bullock to end the game with nobody on base even. 1-0 Condors. Carmona 2-4, 2B; Gutierrez 7.0 IP, 8 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 6 K, L (4-3);

I wonder, is Rico Gutierrez more glad that he reached the majors, or more sad that he did so with this lousy team of flat tires?

Game 3
TIJ: 3B B. Rojas – 1B McNeal – C Sanford – LF Larios – RF Boggs – CF J. Gonzales – 2B B. Torres – SS J. Estrada – P Clayton
POR: LF Carmona – CF Stevenson – C Rice – 3B Nunley – 1B Graves – RF Alfaro – SS Stalker – 2B Armetta – P Huf

Omar Larios drove in the Condors’ customary first inning lead this time, plating Sanford, who had doubled past Alfaro, with a 2-out single. Maybe the Age of Omar had referred to Omar Larios? He was at least batting .275 with five dingers and 35 RBI! The Coons managed to tie the game this time, though, thanks to the proven recipe of Cookie Carmona singling, stealing (#24), scoring, here on a Stevenson single. Nunley would draw a walk, and in the third inning Rice and Nunley would be on base, both times with one out, for the sad couple of Graves and Alfaro, which promptly went a combined 0-for-4 to strand all the precious runners. Matt Huf had his own issues, arriving thrice at Clayton with two outs, twice with a man on base, and never retired him. Clayton singled every time, but nobody scored and Bob Rojas twice ended the inning.

Sanford went yard in the fifth, collecting Andy McNeal’s leadoff walk along the way, to give the Condors a 3-1 advantage. If the Condors would hold on to this, it would make Sanford the guy with the game-winning RBI’s in all three games in the set, which was special in its own way. The sixth inning was the instance mentioned earlier where Bob Rojas would not end the inning after Clayton’s 2-out single, and this was also the one where nobody was on base for Clayton to begin with. Huf would not retire any other batter, bleeding four straight 2-out hits from Clayton through to Sanford before being removed. Sugano struck out Larios to keep two on and the Condors’ lead to 5-1, although at this point five runs were enough to beat the Raccoons several times over. The Raccoons would surrender another run eventually, an unearned run with Joe Moore pitching in the ninth inning (more on that in a second) while their rancid lineup that amounted to four hits in the game would not manage to even nominally threaten the Condors’ impending sweep. 6-1 Condors. Stevenson 2-4, RBI; Sugano 1.1 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

At this point, the only batter not completely washed away by the Willamette is probably Cookie, who is still clawing on to his .330 average and actually ****ing gets on base from time to time. A bit of Rice, a bit of Nunley, but overall they are completely off the rolls.

The Raccoons had Thursday off and would make several roster changes.

First, Quinn MacCarthy was placed on the DL after not feeling much at all in his left arm – unfortunately his throwing arm – on Thursday morning. He had pitched the eighth inning on Wednesday. The Druid thinks he can be as good as new in two weeks. I think, MacCarthy’s “new” was never that splendid, but oh well. Furthermore, Ezequiel Olivares finally hit the dumpster. His throwing error had allowed the Condors to score on Wednesday after entering the game in a double switch, and batting .188 was one thing, but making ****ty throws on top of that was another entirely. He had no options and was placed on waivers.

The Raccoons promoted C Edwin Prieto, infrequent September guest of previous seasons and career .098 batter, as well as 23-year-old left-hander Billy Brotman, who had come over from the Blue Sox last July in the same trade that also brought us Tim Stalker. Brotman, who had a wicked curve and threw 92mph, still had some control issues, but oh well, who hasn’t…

Raccoons (48-53) vs. Knights (48-53) – July 29-31, 2022

The Knights were eight games out in the South, but as we had just seen this was a great time to be facing the Raccoons. Lots of free wins! They probably needed it, because the Raccoons had already clinched the season series, 5-1, against them. Ninth in runs scored, fifth in runs allowed, the Knights actually had a +22 run differential in a weird season in which nothing made sense anymore.

Projected matchups:
Ryan Nielson (4-3, 1.80 ERA) vs. Luis Flores (12-5, 1.64 ERA)
Jesus Chavez (0-1, 9.53 ERA) vs. Chris Chatfield (7-9, 3.58 ERA)
Bobby Guerrero (5-10, 3.90 ERA) vs. Jonathan Ryan (7-6, 3.42 ERA)

Those are a southpaw in the opener, then two right-handers. Flores and Chatfield both went in a double-header on Sunday, and the Knights had Thursday off, too. They could skip a pitcher here, but that would only get them to another right-hander with a mid-3 ERA, Leon Hernandez (7-7, 3.45 ERA), so why bother exactly?

Game 1
ATL: 2B Hibbard – LF Folk – C Luna – SS T. Jimenez – RF Fullerton – 1B Herlihy – 3B Avalos – CF Lyle – P L. Flores
POR: LF Carmona – CF Stevenson – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – 2B Spencer – RF Alfaro – SS Stalker – C Prieto – P Nielson

Another game, another first-inning deficit. Nielson surrendered an initial run on singles by Devin Hibbard and Ruben Luna, then Tony Jimenez’ sac fly to pretty deep leftfield. On to the third – no, there is nothing to report about the Raccoons offense, and why are you even asking? – where for once Nunley did look not good on a Flores bouncer that got past him for a leadoff double. That run scored on successive groundouts by Hibbard and Brody Folk, getting the Knights ahead 2-0. Oh wait, there is some mild movement in the Raccoons dugout! Yeah, one of the Furballs just stretched its paws and yawned real hard!

On the actual field, Nunley hit a 2-out RBI double in the bottom 3rd, plating Stevenson after the centerfielder had walked. Rockwell grounded sharply, but right to Hibbard, ending the inning. Spencer hit a leadoff single in the bottom 4th, then stole his ninth base of the season, putting him third on the team behind Cookie (24) and Bullock (10). Alfaro walked onto the open base, which at least constituted no actual damage done to the team, and presented Tim Stalker, who could at times have a bit of power with the go-ahead run on base – and no outs. But Stalker was also batting .214 in RISP situations, and popped out in foul ground. Prieto popped out in fair territory, and Nielson was rung up by Flores. Remember kids, just because it moves, that doesn’t mean that is has to be alive…!

Top 5th, Nielson’s ERA suffered adjustment in a gruesome butchering. Jonathan Lyle and Devin Hibbard drew walks, which was bad enough. 1-out singles by Folk and Luna loaded the bases, then scored a run, 3-1, before Jimenez turned on a 1-2 pitch and rushed it for some 430 feet and a grand slam. With that, the Coons were down by six, in other words, ballgame until at least Sunday. Nielson surrendered another single to D.J. Fullerton before Billy Brotman made his major league debut in a rout against the left-handed bottom of the order. His first ever big league pitch was hammered right back at his head by Trent Herlihy, with Brotman just barely getting the leather up to protect his pretty face. Oh well, we’ll take outs any way we can! Tony Avalos then struck out. However, the Raccoons would not go down without scoring some accidental runs; in the bottom 5th, Cookie singled, stole, scored, then on a Rockwell single with two outs. The following inning the Raccoons also scratched Luis Flores with two outs. Prieto singled – watch Catholics flock to the park now, as clearly a miracle had occurred – followed by Daniel Bullock’s RBI triple, then Cookie’s RBI double. That got us back to 7-4 as Stevenson flew out. There, progress stalled. The eighth inning saw a rare spectacle, as Manobu Sugano and R.J. Lloyd combined for six batters faced and six strikeouts, but that didn’t help a trailing team. Neither did Noah Bricker surrendering three hits and two runs (aided by a passed ball charged to Prieto) in the ninth inning. Lloyd’s throwing error on Cookie’s grounder helped the Raccoons to score a run in the bottom 9th, but maths said that it was not going to be enough. 9-5 Knights. Carmona 2-5, 2B, RBI; Nunley 2-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Spencer 2-3; Bullock 2-2, 3B, RBI; Sugano 1.1 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

The Knights could have scored plenty more. Both of our centerfielders that were actually employed as such (so, not Cookie) saw action in the game, and both threw out a runner at home plate.

Sugano has surrendered one run in his last 19 outings dating back to June 13.

In between games, the Knights picked up SS/2B Piet Oosterom (.237, 0 HR, 15 RBI) from the Gold Sox and sent them right-hander Joe Medina (2-1, 2.43 ERA, 3 SV) and a prospect. The 30-year old Dutch Antillean Oosterom was the Gold Sox’ starting shortstop for the last nine years, but fell out of favor this year and had only 169 at-bats at the time of the trade.

Game 2
ATL: CF Lyle – SS T. Jimenez – C Luna – 1B Herlihy – 3B Avalos – RF Fullerton – 2B Hibbard – LF Folk – P Chatfield
POR: LF Carmona – C Rice – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – RF Alfaro – CF Stevenson – SS Stalker – 2B Spencer – P Chavez

Somehow – no run scored in the top of the first! Oh my, amazing! The bottom 1st saw Cookie on base with a single until Nunley’s grounder forced him out. The Knights made two errors while Gil Rockwell – who somehow had fudged a 10-game hitting streak together – was batting. Rockwell hit a 2-0 pitch up the rightfield line, but foul. Fullerton lunged after the soft pop, caught it, but stumbled, and lost it. It was ruled an error, Rockwell went back into the box, then grounded to short, except instead of the final out the Knights got a throwing error by Jimenez and the Coons had two on and two outs. For Alfaro. Oh well. Chatfield lost him on balls, but Stevenson flew out to Fullerton to end the inning scorelessly after all.

Top 2nd, Trent Herlihy opened with a double to right center, and the Knights were on the corners after Tony Avalos’ single. Fullerton hit a soft fly to right, Alfaro came in and made some odd showoff swipe at the ball, dropping it for an error. It was about the easiest catch in the world – and the rookie bunked it. Then the rookie got bunked. Alfaro was removed from the game RIGHT THERE, replaced by Graves, and sent to St. Petersburg. Brody Folk would hit an RBI single after the first run had already scored on the rookie poser’s error, and Chavez was down 2-0 at that point, but struck out Lyle eventually to exit the inning. Stevenson batted with the bases loaded and two outs again in the bottom of the third inning, but grounded out to the pitcher, and the Critters were pretty much doomed at that point. Next, Jarod Spencer dropped a pop fly by Tony Avalos to begin the fourth inning, and I was breaking out the blunderbuss to shoot the next guy that would do something stupid right in the bum. Given the spread on this old battle stick, I would probably hit all infielders at once! Spencer and Stalker would turn a double play in the inning that erased the free runner, and in the bottom 4th Spencer and Cookie hit singles to get to the corners, but Rice grounded out, at which point the Raccoons trailed 2-0 and had stranded eight runners in four innings.

Chavez fought valiantly, though of course in a battle he could not win. He could however increase everybody’s suffering as he did in the sixth inning. Retiring the first two batters without much fuss, he went on to walk Herlihy in a full count, then proceeded to nick both Avalos AND Fullerton to load the bases for Devin Hibbard, a valid old warhorse with 118 homers and 784 RBI. Why needlessly load the bases for him? Hibbard was called out on strikes generously by the home plate umpire on a checked swing, without asking for confirmation from the third base umpire, and that was that. Chavez struck out the side in the seventh, then got three outs on five pitches in the eighth inning, in the bottom of which Nunley led off with a mighty drive to left, but nope, it was just not gonna – … the damn ball dropped into Brody Folk’s glove just short of the fence, and nobody reached base as Chris Chatfield logged eight shutout innings, retiring the last 13 batters he faced in order. Chavez pitched nine innings without allowing a man on base after the double-whammy into Avalos and Fullerton, but still was in for a loss, unless the Critters could somehow unhorse Harry Merwin with the bottom of their order. Chances were slim, and only Spencer reached on a weak 2-out single that escaped Jimenez by inches. Bullock batted for Chavez, but grounded out to Devin Hibbard. 2-0 Knights. Carmona 2-4; Spencer 3-4; Chavez 9.0 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 10 K, L (0-2);

That looks like a Saito/Brownie/Toner line there. Master Kisho especially I remember as the master of the well-pitched 2-1 loss. AND THIS ONE WASN’T EVEN A 2-1 LOSS!!

Alfaro banished, the Raccoons called up – ... what is it, Mena? What do you mean, Bullock can’t extend his elbow?

Must. Not. Scream.

Okay, the Raccoons made two roster moves prior to Sunday, banishing Showoff Alfaro, and disabling Daniel Bullock with a sore elbow. We called up Brian Perakis, a 25-year-old corner outfielder, batting right-handed, who had been our 2015 first-round pick and had developed into a terrible AAA player, but options were running low right now (plus he was on the 40-man roster anyway), as well as Guillermo Aponte, who –

What is it, Mena? – What do you mean, Aponte can’t be called up? – He has WHAT?? – In his…?

Oh well, let’s just call up … ehm… Maud! MAUD!! – I need help! – No, not with the computer. Do we have any players left in AAA?

The elaborate Dadaist painting that they were, the Raccoons had to pick between SS Jon McGrew, a 2019 fourth-round pick batting .262 with little power, or INF Dave Hendrickson, batting a hearty and also powerless .236 in AAA, who had come over along with Showoff Alfaro in the Matt Hamilton divestment last season. Well, .262 might translate into .188 at least in the Bigs, so promote McGrew for ****’s sake.

Yay, more debutees!!

Game 3
ATL: CF Lyle – SS T. Jimenez – C Luna – 1B Herlihy – 3B Avalos – RF Fullerton – 2B Hibbard – LF Folk – P L. Hernandez
POR: LF Carmona – C Rice – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – CF Stevenson – RF Graves – SS Stalker – 2B Spencer – P Guerrero

When Gil Rockwell rocked a leadoff jack in the second inning, the Raccoons held a lead for the first time all week long. The Knights’ response was not on the way for long; Hibbard hit a leadoff double in the third, and Folk belched a ball over the fence in left with little effort as it seemed, flipping the score Atlanta’s way, 2-1. That was all the runs the Knights got off Guerrero… who left WITH AN INJURY … in the fourth inning. Goddang, I sure hoped this was something serious, because he didn’t look in pain as he walked off the mound with the Druid, leisurely …! (polishes blunderbuss) As the Raccoons declared it a bullpen day to cover the remaining 5.2 innings in a loss, I had plenty of time to update my list of mortal enemies, with Ray Gilbert right on top, then the editor of the Agitator, and also Mr. Bimbo Millions of the Make-a-Demand Foundation for spoiled rich kids.

McGrew made his debut by the fifth inning, replacing Spencer (with Stalker shifting to the keystone) in a double switch. His first career plate appearance came leading off the bottom of the fifth inning, and he impressively popped out to first base. JUST LIKE THE BIG BOYS DO IT!! In all the blinding madness, this was still a close game, which one could easily forget. The Knights were up 2-1 in the seventh when Joe Moore snapped and walked the bases loaded with two outs. Noah Bricker appeared and struck out Tony Jimenez to escape the jam. Tim Stalker reached with a bloop single in the bottom 7th, but Romero, pinch-hitting for Bricker, bricked right into a bloody double play to advance the contest to the eighth, an inning that saw Billy Brotman walk a pair before Cory Dew dug him out… or maybe Cookie did it, hustling backwards to take Hibbard’s drive on the warning track to end the inning. Dew retired the Knights in the ninth as well, meaning it was a 1-run deficit and R.J. Lloyd facing the middle of the damn order in the bottom of the ninth. Lloyd’s ERA was 4.85, hinting at a better than 50% chance for an average team to pull out at least overtime. Lloyd struck out Nunley and Rockwell without wasting a pitch, and Hibbard caught Stevenson’s liner to right to seal yet another sweep over the Raccoons. 2-1 Knights. Sloan 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 1 K;

Word on Guerrero is an abdominal strain, so he’d also go to the DL for a few weeks. Do we have anybody left? No? Oh well.

In other news

July 26 – The Titans add MR Dustin Carlson (1-4, 3.40 ERA, 3 SV) from the Cyclones, sending them a pair of prospects in exchange for the 29-year-old left-hander.
July 27 – DEN SP Tommy Weintraub (8-4, 3.50 ERA) is out for the season with radial nerve compression, while his team mate INF Izzy Alvarez (.300, 11 HR, 63 RBI) lacks only the triple for the cycle in a 5-hit effort in the Gold Sox’ 9-6 win over the Cyclones. Alvarez drives in four runs with a home run, a double, and three singles.
July 27 – The Indians switch LF/CF Leo Otero (.276, 5 HR, 33 RBI) to the Miners in exchange for former Indian RF/1B Nick Gilmor (.364, 0 HR, 0 RBI in 11 AB), loads of cash to pay for him, and a second-rate prospect.
July 28 – The Crusaders send SP Cody Zimmerman (8-9, 2.92 ERA) to the Warriors in exchange for OF/1B/2B Ivan Flores (.232, 4 HR, 23 RBI) and a prospect. Flores, 32, had spent his entire 10-year major league career with the Warriors until this point.
July 29 – After only five starts for the Blue Sox after being acquired in a trade from the Raccoons, SP Frank Kelly (9-5, 3.07 ERA) tears his UCL and will require Tommy John surgery. The upcoming free agent could miss most, if not all, of next season.
July 30 – The Scorpions grab the Warriors’ SP Sam McMullen (11-6, 3.22 ERA), sending four prospects to Sioux Falls.
July 31 – LAP LF/CF Steve Hollingsworth (.323, 3 HR, 25 RBI) has a 20-game hitting streak after a single in the Pacifics’ 6-2 win over the Cyclones on Sunday. Hollingsworth, who was acquired in trade from the Thunder earlier, actually has played only 16 games with L.A. so far, starting the streak while still with Oklahoma City.
July 31 – The Falcons manage one hit by 3B Ryan Czachor (.203, 4 HR, 22 RBI) against Alan Farrell and Ron Thrasher, while the Titans slap ten hits, but still only score one run in 1-0 squeezer.

Complaints and stuff

(sings very loudly and wrongly) Freeeee faaaalliiiin’ …! (Slappy sways along on the couch, totally out of sync)

By my count we scored nine runs this week. Which is, y’know, impressive. Also, nine is the number of consecutive losses for this team. And we made it to last place in the power rankings, too!

Yeah right, what the Titans needed was another left-handed reliever – by the way, Ron Thrasher casually was Pitcher of the Month in the Continental League, going 3-0 with a 0.66 ERA and 9 SV. He struck out 16 in 13.2 innings and had a .091 batting average against. (shakes head) And the Agitator calls ME an idiot. Also, let’s light a candle for Frank Kelly, the poor sod, while being glad he netted us Matt Huf before falling to pieces. It’s a terrible year to be even remotely associated with the Raccoons. Slappy has that odd boil on his back … (Slappy nods) … and then there was this incident on Sunday, the park full of families, when Chad stumbled – stoned as ever – on the stairs and tumbled into a peanut vendor, who carried bags of peanuts on a plastic stick with lots of little hooks, and well, that stick lodged in the costume’s left eye. Imagine a 7’6’’ anthropomorphic raccoon with a stick and peanut bags hanging from his eye, wandering around confused and waving with all paws, and hundreds of kids crying in terror. That’s Portland in 2022 for you.

Daniel Bullock was apparently playing Frisbee with his recently rescued dog near the river on Saturday night when he stumbled and hit his elbow on the pavement. So that’s that – NO MORE PETS FOR PLAYERS ON THIS TEAM!

What else? How about some numbers…!

ABL CAREER CAUGHT STEALING LEADERS
1st – Pablo Sanchez – 221 – active
2nd – Martin Ortíz – 216
3rd – Danny Flores – 201 – active
4th – Ricardo Carmona – 190 – active
t-5th – Jeffery Brown – 163 – HOF
t-5th – Javier Rodriguez – 163
7th – Clement Clark – 161
8th – Daniel Silva – 159
9th – Dale Wales – 156 – HOF
t-10th – Moromao Hino – 155
t-10th – Cristo Ramirez – 155 – HOF

Sanchez is that .400 wonderkid the Scorpions have, but when on base he has no control over his legs or brain it seems. He has been caught stealing at least 20 times already six times in a single season, and he’s at 18 this year. He is only 28 years old! Cookie has been caught stealing 20 times in a single season four times, most recently in ’19. He is 25/31 this year, and also four bags away from tying for eighth place all time on that list.

Fun fact, Jonny Toner has been on the DL since June 14, but still leads the team in wins with seven. Nah, that was a cheap shot. How about…

Fun fact: Omar Alfaro is the first Raccoons player to have been born in the 2000s, hatching on August 23, 2000!

Also true: the last three players born in the 1950s to play for the Raccoons were Grant West, Daniel Hall, and Tetsu Osanai. Solid company!

Dang, Honeypaws, those were the times. Also, Daniel Hall would not ever have pulled such a boner move as Alfaro did on Saturday. Players in those olden days still had guts and brains and didn’t much worry about how often someone appreciated their post and fingered them up on Twatbook and that whole **** stuff. Honeypaws, I hate millennials. And I hate whatever is left on this godforsaken roster.

And most of all, where we’re going.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (48-56) @ Falcons (58-48) – August 1-3, 2022

The Critters waltzed into Charlotte with the baggage of a 9-17 July, a 9-game losing streak, and having scored 18 runs in their last 11 games. If a team had ever been close to the absolute zero temperature, it was this one. By contrast, the Falcons were still clinging on to the top spot in the South, now even with a positive run differential (+2!), and overall with the fourth-most runs scored and sixth-most runs conceded. What a playoff team! The Coons were a win away from taking the season series at 4-2, but I wasn’t gonna bet the balance in my bank account on it.

Projected matchups:
Rico Gutierrez (4-3, 2.24 ERA) vs. Brian Benjamin (8-11, 4.35 ERA)
Matt Huf (1-2, 3.71 ERA) vs. Jim Bryant (6-10, 4.13 ERA)
Ryan Nielson (4-4, 2.73 ERA) vs. TBD

Two right-handers, and then whatever. Jose Menendez (1-1, 3.93 ERA) had taken this turn in the rotation on the weekend, but they might be rolling with Greg Gannon (3-3, 6.23 ERA) – both right-handers that had mostly been used in relief this season.

Our week started with Bobby Guerrero (mild abdominal strain) heading to the DL for two weeks or so. Trevor Taylor (0-2, 8.16 ERA) was recalled from AAA to fill in for him.

Game 1
POR: LF Carmona – C Rice – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – CF Stevenson – RF Graves – SS Stalker – 2B Spencer – P Gutierrez
CHA: 2B Good – 3B Czachor – 1B Fowlkes – RF Feldmann – LF Benson – C T. Robinson – CF McClenon – SS Tanaka – P Benjamin

The middle of the order would see and hit the ball rather well off Gutierrez, although the damage was limited to a solo homer by Tim Robinson early on. That didn’t mean the Falcons couldn’t have had more; after the Robinson bomb, Joseph McClenon and Ryozo Tanaka both hit scratch singles, one just past Jarod Spencer, one dropping just in front of Zach Graves. They were on the corners with one out for Benjamin before Tanaka took off for second base, but was thrown out by Danny Rice. Benjamin then popped up and to short to end the inning. The Raccoons, offensively, did not really take place at all in the early innings. There was a Rockwell double in the second inning, a largely isolated occurrence of wood-meets-cowhide. In the fifth then (how the innings breeze past when one team never does anything!), it was Gutierrez to reach base with a 2-out single. Cookie hit a ball up the line for a double, but there was no way you could send a brittle rookie pitcher against the arm of Ryan Feldmann that could potentially launch intercontinental missiles. So there was a pair of runners in scoring position for Rice, who easily struck out. The Falcons would have the bases loaded in the bottom 5th; McClenon hit another soft single, now past Rockwell, and then Gutierrez drilled Matt Good with two outs and walked Ryan Czachor. In a full count, Pat Fowlkes grounded out to short against a rookie pitcher badly adrift.

But don’t you worry, dear Falcons fans – they got their runs eventually. The following inning, Feldmann hit a leadoff blast off Gutierrez, 2-0, and with two outs he stopped retiring anybody. McClenon doubled, Tanaka and Benjamin hit hard singles, and then Good doubled. That made four runs in the inning, and a fifth scored on Czachor’s single off Logan Sloan before Fowlkes grounded out. Down 6-0, the game was quite definitely over. Brian Benjamin pitched a complete game, though not a shutout. No RBI was doled out to the Raccoons however. When Spencer knocked a triple in the seventh inning, nobody could be found to drive the poor sod in. Spencer instead scored on a balk. Benjamin, not a strikeout pitcher by any means, whiffed seven in his full-game outing. 6-1 Falcons. Spencer 2-3, 3B;

Brian Perakis made his major league debut in this game, flying out to Feldmann in the ninth inning.

For the Tuesday game, we’d rest Rice and Stevenson, and due to universal misery, would bat Ricardo Romero in the middle of the order. Nine major league seasons, 1,300+ plate appearances, eight home runs.

Game 2
POR: LF Carmona – SS Stalker – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – CF Romero – 2B Spencer – C Prieto – RF Perakis – P Huf
CHA: 3B Czachor – SS Read – 1B Fowlkes – 2B Good – RF Benson – LF McClenon – C W. Garza – CF LeMoine – P Bryant

Romero promptly struck out with two men on base (walks drawn by Nunley and Rockwell) to end the first inning. WHAT IS THIS TEAM?? Bottom 1st, Matt Good rocked a 2-out double to score Ryan Czachor after his leadoff walk, and in the bottom 2nd the Falcons had the bases loaded with nobody out (yet the pitcher at the plate) after a McClenon single, a Nunley error, and a LeMoine (batting .203!?) single. When Huf lost Jim Bryant to a run-scoring walk, putting the Falcons up 2-0, I was pretty sure that the lowest low was reached or at least very, very near. How much worse could it – … Matt Huf pitched one-plus innings, never retiring another batter. A double by Czachor and two singles scored four runs total, and there were still two on and nobody out. Billy Brotman replaced Huf, and the Druid should check him out whether he needed new irons or whatever the ****.

On Brotman’s watch, the Falcons scored another three runs, those driven in by Benson and McClenon, to take a 9-0 lead. Safe to say, the Raccoons weren’t going to avoid an 11-game losing streak. Reaching new lows was easy though. The Raccoons had their closer (!) in the game by the third inning, because ****ing Billy Brickface couldn’t retire any batter, either. Three hits, two walks off him against one out collected IN THE INNING, and he left the bags loaded in an 11-0 game for Lillis to inherit. That could have worked better as well, with Lillis allowing two more runs on a Garza grounder and LeMoine’s 2-out single. In the fourth, Howard Read singled off Lillis; the little ****ing **** proceeded to steal not one, but two bases in a 13-0 game, eventually scoring (because why not?), and was gonna get goddamn ****ing beaned the next time his turn would come up. This was in the sixth inning of a 14-1 game (details on the Coons’ run don’t matter…) after Joe Moore had issued a leadoff walk to Czachor. Read was in to bunt however, and Moore couldn’t find his face. Read actually but a bunt in play, but it was a bad one to Moore, who got Czachor forced out at second base. Fowlkes then hit into a double play. There was only one more run in this game, and it was the Coons’. Edwin Prieto’s RBI single in the eighth inning failed to spark a rally though. 14-2 Falcons. Rockwell 0-1, 3 BB; Moore 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 1 K;

I feel a bit like Rome, 1527 AD.

There wasn’t much of a bullpen left after this game. The Raccoons demoted Jon McGrew after he went 0-for-2, and brought up an extra reliever in infrequent guest, 29-year old Will West, who had pitched to a 4.05 ERA in 29 relief appearances in St. Pete this year. He’s been a 4.74 ERA pitcher in the majors across 113 appearances sprinkled irregularly throughout the seasons since 2016. His best year was ’21 actually, with a 3.30 ERA in 30 innings.

There also won’t be a day off on Thursday, so things are going to **** right now. Cookie had a day off, though, and the rest of the regulars would get a day off before the week would be over, too.

Game 3
POR: 2B Spencer – CF Stevenson – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – SS Stalker – RF Graves – LF Perakis – P Nielson
CHA: 2B Good – 3B Czachor – 1B Fowlkes – RF Feldmann – LF Benson – C T. Robinson – CF McClenon – SS Tanaka – P Gannon

Maybe the losing streak would end at 11 games. Maybe. The Falcons’ Greg Gannon was tagged with three runs in the second inning, walking Rockwell and Rice to begin proceedings, and then allowed a 2-run triple to Tim Stalker. Perakis got his first career RBI with a sac fly to get the Critters to 3-0, but Nielson had also already pitched behind in a few counts, so mute your celebrations for now, will ya? On to the bottom 4th, where the Falcons got the balls they were hitting quite well off Nielson to finally fall in. Tim Robinson hit a single, and Ryozo Tanaka dropped a blooper in front of Stevenson with two outs. Runners on first and second, two outs and the pitcher at the plate, Nielson threw a wild pitch, then lost Gannon to a walk anyway. Matt Good would pop out to Perakis to keep the runners stranded. Consolation for the Falcons: the Raccoons weren’t landing any weak flies for hits, but the Falcons got a Fowlkes double in the bottom 5th, then instantly an RBI single to left center from Feldmann, scoring their first run in the game.

But they still had a total pushover pitching. After Rice walked in the sixth, Stalker singled to right, albeit softly. It was the Coons’ first commotion since the second inning, and it soon turned into runs when Zach Graves rammed a ball up the rightfield line for a 2-run double, extending the lead to a rousing, almost dizzying 5-1. But don’t you worry if those lofty heights are not for you – Ryan Nielson’s got you covered. The Falcons had the tying run in the box with one out in the sixth, thanks to Tanaka and Read singles, then a clueless 4-pitch walk to Matt Good. Within eight more pitches, the Falcons would score six runs, and while Nielson was surely to blame, the first guy to deserve his procreating parts to get stuck in a bear trap was Dingdong Graves in rightfield, who dropped Ryan Czachor’s easy fly for an error, scoring one run and getting the Falcons to 5-2 with the bags still full. Fowlkes singled hard up the middle to score two, and then Feldmann emptied the bases with his seventh home run of the season. As easy as that! In a novelty, we brought in Will West *too late* - he had never had an outing before in which we would have wished to have brought him in three batters earlier. NEVER. AND WITH THE BASES LOADED. Will West would soldier through the next nine batters, collecting seven outs from them on a meaty 50 pitches. The Raccoons faced Dusty Balzer in the ninth, needing two to tie. Cookie batted for Perakis, leading off, but his sharp grounder was knocked down and turned into an out on a bang-bang play by Tanaka. Sam Armetta singled in West’s place, but got forced by Spencer’s grounder to short. Spencer stole second base, but Stevenson flew out to center. 7-5 Falcons. Stalker 2-4, 3B, 2 RBI; Armetta (PH) 1-1; West 2.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

I don’t think we’ve ever gone 0-12 in a 4-CL South team stint. There are usually only two of those in the schedule every year. And going 0-12 is rare in any case.

This is the kind of pep talk I give the guys. You are special! You can do things! Yes!

Raccoons (48-59) vs. Indians (56-51) – August 4-7, 2022

This was a rest-precluding 4-game set, but at least the Indians already held a 4-3 edge in the season series, so there was hardly a potential to be disappointed at this point. The Coons would face a team ranking fourth in runs scored and seventh in runs allowed, with largely middling stats throughout.

Projected matchups:
Jesus Chavez (0-2, 4.91 ERA) vs. Tristan Broun (7-8, 3.63 ERA)
Trevor Taylor (0-2, 8.16 ERA) vs. Miguel Morales (1-3, 3.27 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (4-4, 2.90 ERA) vs. Alvin Smith (2-7, 4.01 ERA)
Matt Huf (1-3, 5.40 ERA) vs. Mario Alva (4-8, 4.01 ERA)

The left-hander Broun, 34, had made his first relief appearance in ten years on Tuesday in a 13-inning, 13-9 loss to the Knights; also active in relief in that game was rookie Miguel Morales, who gave up the walkoff grand slam to Ruben Luna. Yeah, their rotation was a mess right now, but they had a temporary advantage as their Wednesday game had been rained out, so there was that. This allowed the starter Broun to technically appear in consecutive games.

With the left-hander on tap, Nunley got the opener off. Rockwell was scheduled for Friday.

Game 1
IND: CF D. Morales – 3B J. Jackson – 1B M. Rucker – RF C. Martinez – LF Genge – C J. White – 2B B. Reyes – SS Rolland – P Broun
POR: LF Carmona – SS Stalker – RF Stevenson – 1B Rockwell – 2B Spencer – CF Romero – 3B Armetta – C Prieto – P Chavez

To my surprise, there was still a significant throng of people at the park, while even I had tried to ditch school today, but Maud had sent a cab and the driver had insisted. My scratch marks on the door frame were testament to that.

To nobody’s surprise, Jesus Chavez came out and was a complete disaster. Allowing hits to Justin Jackson and Cesar Martinez nicely dressed around a clumsy walk to Mike Rucker was one thing, but when down 1-0 also balking the runners into scoring position was borderline tempting fate. Remember, kid – we play at home, and I have guns here! Lowell Genge thankfully was just as dumb as the average Coon, grounding out on a 3-0 pitch, which still brought in a run, and left Chavez down 2-0 in the middle of the first inning. Bottom 1st, Cookie hit a leadoff single, Stalker hit into a double play, I hit the booze. Despite the early setback, Chavez would somehow tumble his way through six innings without allowing any more runs, but also without really impressing anybody. He struck out seven, but the Indians also grounded out on 3-ball counts three times to get him off the schneid repeatedly.

The Critters did precisely nothing through five innings, littering four hits, but nothing that would make the scoreboard light up. All their hits were soft singles. Cookie had another soft singles to begin the bottom 6th (and went to 3-for-3), but failed to steal a base and was stranded after three groundouts, keeping the score at 2-0 in the Arrowheads’ favor. Romero was stranded in scoring position the following inning. While a succession of Sloan, Brotman, and Moore kept the Indians from adding to their lead, the Raccoons got a leadoff double from Zach Graves in the bottom 8th after he had entered the game in a double switch with Moore. Now Cookie was the guy grounding out to not contribute zero to the effort, but hey, even Tristan Broun saw the funny side of it and scored Graves from third base with a wild pitch. Stalker’s single put the tying run aboard and got Broun removed, but his replacement Jerry Counts allowed singles to Stevenson and Spencer, and thus also the tying run to score. Nunley batted with two outs for Joe Moore in the #6 spot, but flew out to Lowell Genge. The Indians would be restored to the lead in the ninth; Nick GIlmor hit a leadoff single off Brett Lillis, who then got Raul Matias to ground to first base. Rockwell zinged the ball in Stalker’s direction to get the lead runner … except that Stalker was not standing anywhere near where that ball went … into leftfield. The error allowed the Indians to break through on Jesus Carbajal’s single. Down 3-2, the fans were ready to vanish silently into the night for the 13th consecutive time, but Sam Armetta hit a leadoff double off Tony Lino in the bottom of the ninth inning. Prieto struck out, but Graves hit an RBI double near the leftfield line. Cookie was put on first base right away, where he would not count (Graves on second was the winning run), and then Stalker grounded to third base. Justin Jackson hustled in, overran the ball, and was assessed an error that loaded the bases with one out for Stevenson. When his liner to left dropped in front of Lowell Genge and Zach Graves stomped home plate to formally end the 12-game losing streak, there were more than just a few random fans hugging total strangers and shedding a tear. The Coons can win again! 4-3 Critters! Carmona 3-4, BB; Stevenson 2-5, RBI; Graves 2-2, 2 2B, RBI;

There was no Miguel Morales to be seen right now. The Indians moved Alvin Smith to Friday.

Game 2
IND: CF D. Morales – 3B J. Jackson – 1B M. Rucker – RF C. Martinez – LF Genge – C J. White – 2B B. Reyes – SS Rolland – P A. Smith
POR: LF Carmona – CF Stevenson – 3B Nunley – C Rice – SS Stalker – RF Graves – 2B Spencer – 1B Armetta – P Taylor

Uprooted in seconds, Trevor Taylor surrendered nothing but rockets, and three runs in the first inning, coming on three hard base hits and a walk. While the Indians lost Bob Reyes to injury right in the first inning, the Raccoons lost another game because of terrible starting pitching. Danny Morales’ home run ran the score to 5-0 in the second inning; Jaylen Rolland had previously reached base with a whacked single in the inning. Stalker, Spencer, and Armetta all singled in the bottom of the second, but that only scored one run, and this team never got the big knock that would lead to a huge inning. Hard knocks, much the contrary, would usually end their innings. Stevenson’s single and Nunley’s walk put two on with nobody out in the bottom 3rd, but Danny Rice knew how to ruin it with a grounder to new second baseman Raul Matias, who turned two on the play.

Taylor lasted 3.2 innings before being sent back to St. Petersburg following Justin Jackson’s 2-run blast that ran the score to 7-1. Cory Dew took over, then Will West. In the bottom 5th, the Raccoons got an unearned run with nobody out; Cookie had reached on Jaylen Rolland’s throwing error, then scored on Stevenson’s double up the rightfield line, 7-2. OH-OH, RALLY TIME!! Matt Nunley got the message and hit a pretty fat homer off Alvin Smith, 7-4, but the team only got Graves on base with a 2-out single before the inning fizzled out. But in the bottom of the sixth inning, Smith ever so slightly brushed Cookie’s uniform pants to get him sent to first base with two down and nobody else on. But Stevenson ripped another RBI double, and Nunley ticked a ball to center for an RBI single against Smith’s replacement, Rafael Urbano. Rice struck out, now in a 7-6 game, but we suffered a setback in the seventh with Billy Brotman getting bombed by Cesar Martinez, a right-handed batter. Stalker got drilled by Urbano in the bottom 7th, but wouldn’t score. While Bricker and Moore kept the Indians from adding to their 8-6 total, the Coons wouldn’t get the tying run to the plate until Rice singled off Lino with one out in the bottom 9th. Stalker singled up the middle, bringing Graves up as the winning run. Now, we had Rockwell on the bench still, but Graves was a left-handed batter, countering Lino, and had recently shown vague signs of a pulse. Maybe Rockwell would only bat for Spencer. So it happened once Graves lined out to Ryan Georges in rightfield. Lino struck him out. 8-6 Indians. Stevenson 3-5, 2 2B, 2 RBI; Nunley 3-4, BB, HR, 3 RBI; Stalker 2-4; Spencer 2-4; West 2.1 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

ERA for Taylor: flat ten. What is Travis Garrett up to, anyway?

Game 3
IND: SS Rolland – 3B J. Jackson – C J. White – RF C. Martinez – 1B M. Rucker – CF D. Morales – LF Georges – 2B Matias – P Alva
POR: LF Carmona – CF Stevenson – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – SS Stalker – 2B Spencer – RF Perakis – P Gutierrez

In things not seen before, the bottom five batters in the Indians order would each put the first pitch in play on Gutierrez’ first time seeing them. Four made outs, Alva doubled. Strikeouts to Rolland and Jackson would end the third inning before damage could be done, though. There was not much damage to be marveled at overall in the game. Through five innings, both starters scattered three hits apiece, mostly soft singles.

Always good for panic: the leadoff walk. Jackson drew one in the sixth inning, While he had no speed, the following full-count walk to Jamal White moved him to scoring position anyway. The next two batters in the lineup had 48 home runs between them this season, and 362 for their careers – always a good thing to offer some incentives for them to rake. Cesar Martinez, who had more (26) this year, but less (95) for his career compared to Mike Rucker, who was also seven years older, hit a real drive to leftfield. Cookie raced back, back, back, leapt at the fence AND SNARED IT while bouncing off the wall. Jackson advanced to third, but Rucker struck out. Gutierrez handled Danny Morales’ grounder himself for the third out, stranding them on the corners. Georges, Matias, and Rice all hit hard drives in the seventh inning – none of them even was rewarded with a double as the game remained scoreless. Gutierrez was still in for the eighth, on 81 pitches, facing the top of the order, and now suddenly got a pop and two soft grounders from the 1-2-3 batters. What the **** was even going on anymore? I don’t know. The game was still scoreless when Graves batted for Gutierrez and drew a 1-out walk off Alva in the bottom 8th. Cookie singled, moving the go-ahead run to second base. Stevenson hit a drive to right, Martinez back – but this one fell in, finally! Not only that, the outfielders got split on the gapper, almost ran into another, and Morales fell down, with Martinez having to chase down the ball deep in the gap. Stevenson easily legged out a triple, and of course drove in two! Nunley added an RBI single, and for the first time in … very long, Brett Lillis got a … ehm, what is it called again? 3-0 Coons. Stevenson 2-4, 3B, 2 RBI; Gutierrez 8.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 3 K, W (5-4);

The Sunday game went to Tom Shumway (9-9, 3.30 ERA), so we got a third southpaw in the week.

Game 4
IND: CF D. Morales – 3B J. Jackson – 1B M. Rucker – RF C. Martinez – LF Genge – C J. White – 2B Matias – SS Rolland – P Shumway
POR: LF Carmona – SS Stalker – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – CF Stevenson – 2B Armetta – RF Perakis – C Prieto – P Huf

Matt Huf had allowed 3+ runs for four consecutive starts, and 12 runs total in his last two starts (6.2 IP). He started the game with a walk to Morales before Jackson put another 3-1 pitch in play. Nunley bobbled that for his 15th error of the season – kinda rough for Nunley… - and Rucker rapped a double right through Rockwell for the first run of the game. That came in a full count. Huf went to 3-1 on Martinez, who hit a sac fly to plenty deep leftfield, and only after that did Huf stop being down in all the counts. He didn’t stop bleeding runs, however, with Jamal White’s RBI double giving the Indians a comfy, early 3-0 lead. At least… until Shumway took the ball. The Coons tied the score in just four batters, with Cookie singling, stealing, scoring on Nunley’s single to left. Rockwell homered, his 15th of the year, and that made it a 3-3 contest.

Of course, a 3-3 could never stand, and neither would this one. Unfortunately it was Huf that got scorched, and it was already in the third inning. After a leadoff walk to Jackson (…!!) and a Rucker single, Huf got Martinez and Genge removed on poor contact, before Jamal White cranked a 3-piece outta leftfield … and it wasn’t close, really. Down 6-3, Huf looked like a demotion candidate with his 5.97 ERA; except that we were out of even quad-A and triple-A pitching at this point.

However, once more Tom Shumway would fail to protect a 3-run lead for a single inning. Stalker got on, Nunley got on in the bottom 3rd. Rockwell popped out for the second out, but Stevenson walked in a full count, and Sam Armetta’s grounder eluded Jackson for a 2-run single. Brian Perakis stepped in 0-for-11 in his career, but singled up the middle, plating Stevenson from second base to tie the score at six. While Prieto flew out to strand a pair, technically Huf outlasted Shumway, who was hit for by Georges in the fourth. Huf walked the pinch-hitter. Morales grounded out, but one last walk to Jackson, Huf’s fourth in 3.2 innings, sealed his fate. He got yanked. Sugano came out to oppose the lefty Rucker, who grounded out to short. The Indians took their third lead in the fifth inning when Lowell Genge romped a homer off Logan Sloan, 7-6, but Rafael Urbano loaded the bases on walks with nobody out in the bottom 5th. Perakis struck out, and Prieto flew out to center, with Danny Morales’ throw killing off Gil Rockwell at home plate to end the inning. The following inning Cookie drew a 1-out walk, but was caught stealing before Tim Stalker doubled in vain.

In another sign that the team was doomed, Brian Perakis – the lowest of low outfielders in the organization – twisted his ankle on a play in the seventh inning and had to be replaced by Zach Graves. But eh. There weren’t many great players left on the team to get struck by the baseball gods’ lightning…! Graves batted with two outs in the bottom 7th, having Stevenson on second base, but popped out cluelessly. Joe Moore was tagged for a 2-out run in the eighth inning, walking Jesus Carbajal in the #9 hole with two down, then allowing a long gapper to Morales for an RBI double. He also threw a wild pitch after that, but Justin Jackson giggled too hard in a 3-ball count to get wood on the bat and popped out in foul ground eventually. On to the bottom of the ninth, which Tony Lino started with a K to Stalker, but then got raked by Nunley, who hit a 390-footer to left, bringing the tying run to the plate in Rockwell. Now, the Coons’ bench was empty. Short to begin with, we had already pinch-hit three times for hapless pitching and had used one guy as injury replacement. If the pitcher, Will West, comes up in the #8 hole, we’re ****ed. Luckily, there was no rally in the team. Rockwell grounded out. Stevenson flew out to Genge. 8-7 Indians. Stalker 2-5, 2B; Nunley 3-5, HR, 2 RBI; Romero (PH) 1-1;

In other news

August 1 – The Buffaloes beat the Scorpions, 1-0 in 11 innings.
August 2 – The Wolves’ and Blue Sox’ game in Nashville is close through six, with the home team up 2-1, before the Blue Sox crush the Wolves with a 9-run seventh and a 5-run eighth for a 16-1 mauling. NAS 2B/1B Rich Mendez (.299, 4 HR, 57 RBI) has four base hits and an RBI.
August 3 – SAC RF/LF Pablo Sanchez (.329, 5 HR, 59 RBI) gets his 2,000th career hit at *age 28*, knocking three base hits like it’s nothing in the team’s 7-3 loss to the Buffaloes. The milestone is a game-opening single off Jose Lerma. Sanchez became the first ABL player ever to bat .400 (.409 precisely) in 2021. For his career, he has batted .350/.423/.424 with 58 HR and 777 RBI, plus 359 stolen bases. At age 28!
August 3 – Los Angeles’ Steve Hollingsworth (.320, 3 HR, 25 RBI) ends his hitting streak at 22 games, going 0-for-3 in a 7-0 loss to the Rebels.
August 6 – The Aces lose their recent addition, SP Franklin Alvarado (8-5, 3.28 ERA) with shoulder inflammation. The 25-year old right-hander is done for the season. He had lost all his starts with the Aces, with a 9.00 ERA over three games.

Complaints and stuff

The Raccoons greatly announced this week a contract extension signed with Matt Nunley, who (surprisingly) agreed to a 3-yr, $2.1M contract. This will see him make substantially less than before (2022: $1.15M). Nunley, 31, was a career .286/.344/.397 batter at the time of the extension, with 1,323 base hits, 90 homers, and 552 RBI. He was the 2014 CL Rookie of the Year, an All Star once (2016), and a Platinum Stick winner three times (2015, 2017, 2018).

Where’s Damani Knight when you need him? Answer: he has been with the Aces’ AAA team the entire season going 6-13 with a rank 6.35 ERA, but that has still somehow won him promotion this weekend. The Aces must be very desperate.

It’s a knife fight in the Northwest, with all three teams pretty much under a blanket!

Fun fact: The Wolves have not been Best in Northwest since 2004…!

Oh well, that in itself would not bother me so much. Better second-best in Oregon, than trailing the ****ing Elks. With the Wolves, it is not that much competition, because you see them only every two years.

Or once in the World Series…

(whiskers twitch)

Slappy, I thought of Ed Parrell and Glenn Johnston again – where’s the cheap booooze …!? (sobs)

[Westheim]

Raccoons (50-61) vs. Loggers (51-59) – August 8-11, 2022

Let’s just say, between these two teams there was a lot of disappointment in the Portland ballpark. The Loggers were in seventh place in runs scored in the Continental League, but still in the bottom three in runs conceded and last outright in bullpen ERA. The Loggers were also one of only four teams the Critters had a winning record against (7-4) in 2022. The others were the Elks (8-3), Knights (5-4, F), and Rebels (2-1, F).

Projected matchups:
Ryan Nielson (4-5, 3.32 ERA) vs. Morgan Shepherd (3-7, 4.47 ERA)
Jesus Chavez (0-2, 4.35 ERA) vs. Victor Arevalo (6-11, 5.32 ERA)
Travis Garrett (6-5, 6.15 ERA) vs. Ian Prevost (8-8, 3.46 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (5-4, 2.57 ERA) vs. Chris Sinkhorn (8-6, 3.43 ERA)

Three right-handers, then Sinkhorn, still the defending Pitcher of the Year. Let’s assume he’s not gonna be it in ’22, and Toner won’t be it either, who’s gonna steal the crown?

The Raccoons started the week by disabling Brian Perakis with his ankle woes and recalled Dwayne Metts and his sparkling .095 batting average. Omar Alfaro still had punishment time in St. Petersburg!

Game 1
MIL: 3B A. Velez – 1B Jaeger – CF Coleman – LF Berntson – C Wool – 2B Stewart – RF Reese – SS Dasher – P Shepherd
POR: LF Carmona – CF Stevenson – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – RF Graves – SS Armetta – 2B Spencer – P Nielson

An 0-2 pitch that struck Alberto Velez and then a Kevin Jaeger grounder that vanished in Nielson’s pants to begin the week somehow didn’t blossom into a 5-run inning. The Loggers scored zip in fact, though credit should go to Stevenson, who spoiled a mighty drive to center by Jon Berntson. Stevenson was also the first Critter on base, singling in the bottom 1st, which Nunley also did to put two on for Gil Rockwell, who grounded straight to Tyler Stewart for a double play. The two teams tallied up 11 base hits in the first five innings, yet scored zero runs. The Coons had six hits, including a Stevenson triple, and drew a pair of walks, AND got an error by Craig Dasher (a makeshift shortstop at best!) in the bottom 5th instrumental in loading the bases, but still couldn’t get anybody across. In that inning, Cookie singled, Stevenson reached on the error, Nunley flew out to deep left, and Rockwell batted with two on for the third time in the game and after a double play and a strikeout drew an actual walk this time. Three on, two down, Danny Rice struck out, Shepherd’s ninth victim in the game. The Loggers hurler at one point struck out five in a row, and romped his total to 11 by the sixth. Following Zach Graves’ leadoff single that hit off Tom Reese’s shoe in rightfield, Sam Armetta popped out before Jarod Spencer and Ryan Nielson both whiffed. Cookie hit a leadoff single in the bottom 7th, stole his 27th bag, then was stranded. Stevenson and Nunley hit balls right at people, and Rockwell completed Shepherd’s dirty dozen. At least that was all for Shepherd, who was done after 112 pitches. Mike Denny drew a leadoff walk in his spot in the top 8th, but was doubled off when one first baseman (Jaeger) lined out to the other first baseman (Rockwell). Rockwell would even make three nice plays in the ninth inning, containing two spiced grounders by Ian Coleman and Jon Berntson, then scooped Armetta’s terrible throw on Stewart’s grounder following Josh Wool’s single to center. Nielson completed nine – but the Coons were still not on the board! Tim Stalker batted for him to lead off the bottom 9th and reached base – the fifth straight inning with the leadoff man on base for Portland!! – on Stewart’s clumsy error. The Coons outrageously signaled COOKIE to BUNT. Desperation had many faces – this was one of them, easily. Cookie hadn’t bunted since elementary school, knocked it back to the pitcher Mike Kress, and Kress threw to second base … wildly. Two on, none deserved! Josh Stevenson looped a ball to shallow center, Coleman coming in, in, in, lunging, sliding OHMYGODHEMADETHECATCH!! STALKER STANDS AT THIRD BASE!! Fortunately Coleman was in no condition to make a play at second base after digging up the field with his headlong slide, the ball landing just barely in his outstretched glove. Had his arm been one inch shorter, the Coons would have walked off, but no Stalker had to dig his way back to second base, arriving there with his own head-first slide. Nunley flew out to left. That brought up Rockwell. Kress fell behind 2-0, then condeded a fly to right. Tom Reese over – but not over far enough! The ball found the gap, and the Coons walked off after all …! 1-0 Blighters! Carmona 2-4; Stevensno 2-5, 3B; Rice 2-4; Nielson 9.0 IP, 6 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 5 K, W (5-5);

Doubly-unearned walkoff… oh well, who am I to complain? This was the 30-year-old Nielson’s first career complete game and also first career shutout in 28 games started.

Game 2
MIL: LF Tesch – SS Dasher – CF Coleman – RF Gore – 3B A. Velez – C Wool – 1B Reese – 2B March – P Arevalo
POR: LF Carmona – CF Stevenson – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – RF Graves – 2B Armetta – SS Stalker – C Prieto – P Chavez

Chavez entered the start with exactly 60 major league innings across ten starts, and a 1-6 record and 5.25 ERA. That was … improvable. However, starting the game with a 4-pitch walk to Brad Tesch was not something that would improve your resume in the long run. The Loggers quickly went about dissecting Chavez in the first inning. Dasher singled, Coleman hit an RBI single, and after Brad Gore struck out, Alberto Velez hit an RBI double to center. Josh Wool hit a liner to right that fell for an RBI single, with Graves throwing out Velez at home plate. Good, good! We’ll have to take outs any way we can! Reese struck out to end a 3-run first, and by my count the Coons weren’t due another run until like Friday, so that was that. Come back again tomorrow, people. Thanks for paying!

While Chavez shook of the suckage after the rough first innings and would line up a few zeroes on the board, the Raccoons had absolutely nothing going in this game. Arevalo struck out hardly anybody, but also yielded no base hits in the first five innings, allowing only a walk in those. The Raccoons wouldn’t enter the H column until Cookie flicked a soft single to shallow center with two outs in the bottom 6th, at which point the Loggers were still “only” three runs ahead with Chavez still in the game. Nothing came off Cookie’s single, however, with Stevenson floating one out to Coleman. Chavez would not make it through seven, allowing a 2-out single to Dasher before Sugano came in and retired Coleman on a fly to Cookie. Rockwell walked in the bottom 7th before being caught stealing; the eighth saw a Prieto single to right, our second base hit in this moist game. Danny Rice batted for Sugano, who had struck out the side in the eighth, got nicked, and then Cookie dropped another single. Thus the tying runs were on base with two outs for Stevenson. The fans were up and clapping and chanting, but to no avail. Stevenson slowly grounded out, and all the runners were stranded. It was the Critters’ only vague chance to upset Victor Arevalo’s 3-hit shutout. 3-0 Loggers. Carmona 2-4; Sugano 1.1 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Game 3
MIL: LF Tesch – SS Dasher – CF Coleman – RF Gore – 3B A. Velez – C Wool – 1B Reese – 2B March – P Prevost
POR: LF Carmona – RF Stevenson – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – 2B Spencer – SS Stalker – CF Metts – P Garrett

Tragic Travis had the chance to tie Jonny Toner in wins in August if he could secure a W here, but conceded three hits, two stolen bases, and one run in the first inning before Velez hit into a double play to safe his sorry bum. The Coons also had three base hits in the bottom 1st, but scored no run at all thanks to Cookie being caught stealing in between, but would score in the bottom 3rd after another leadoff single. Stevenson also singled again, sending him to third base, and Nunley’s groundout to first base moved Cookie across to tie the game before the Coons went ahead 2-1 on Rockwell’s single to right center.

Amazingly, that 2-1 lead survived both Tragic Travis in general and Ian Coleman’s leadoff triple in the fourth inning in particular. Gore struck out, Velez lined out to short, and Wool rolled one over to Nunley for three outs without the runner getting the whiff of a chance to score. Garrett wobbled through six until his spot came up in the bottom 6th with one out and the bases loaded; Rice had singled and then Prevost had issued a pair of 1-out walks to Stalker and Metts. This was a good spot to send Zach Graves! Hitting a ball expertly back to the pitcher, Graves caused Rice to be forced out at home, but the bases remained loaded for Cookie, who dropped his third single of the day near the leftfield line, plating two runners! Meanwhile Graves was meandering around between second and third base, and a sharp throw by Velez back to Dasher got him tagged out to end the inning. Oh well, at least we were up 4-1 and Graves was moved out of sight with Billy Brotman taking over in the #9 slot. Brotman collected four outs, Bricker collected two more after a pinch-hit single by Jaeger, and Brett Lillis was readying himself for a rare save opportunity. Brad Gore hit a double in the ninth, but that was all the Loggers got. 4-1 Coons. Carmona 3-4, 2 RBI; Stevenson 2-4; Nunley 2-4, RBI; Metts 0-1, 2 BB; Garrett 6.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 2 K, W (7-5);

We activated Quinn MacCarthy from the DL for the Thursday game, placing Will West on waivers and DFA’ing him. We still have an additional reliever on the roster right now.

Game 4
MIL: 2B March – 1B Jaeger – CF Coleman – RF Gore – LF Berntson – 3B Velez – C Denny – SS Dasher – P Sinkhorn
POR: LF Carmona – RF Stevenson – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – 2B Spencer – CF Romero – SS Stalker – C Prieto – P Gutierrez

Stevenson’s single, Dasher’s error on Nunley, and a walk drawn by Rockwell loaded the bases in the bottom 1st before the Coons ran out of talent, but so did the Loggers’ Dan March, who bobbled Dasher’s feed on Jarod Spencer’s grounder and lost his double play chance. Stevenson scored the first run of the game, after which Ricardo Romero struck out. Gutierrez retired the first eight Loggers before Sinkhorn reached base with an infield single (…?), but March grounded out to end the third anyway. Gutierrez would not get out of the fourth so easily, though. Coleman hit a 1-out double, stole third base, and somehow Gutierrez lost it right there, walking the next two batters. Velez flew out to Stevenson, but deep enough to bring in Coleman with a sac fly, tying the game at one. Denny grounded sharply to Nunley, who remained in control and got the final out of the inning, stranding a pair. Completing five were a 2-out bid by the Loggers in the top 5th that ended with Coleman popping out to strand runners on the corners, and the Coons getting the leadoff man on base in the fourth and fifth, only to hit into a double play each time with Stalker and Cookie (!)…

Brad Gore’s leadoff double in the sixth was undoubtedly trouble, and Gutierrez was just not in a position to offer much resistance at this point. Berntson flew out, but Alberto Velez’ single put the Loggers ahead. Denny walked, Dasher hit into a double play to keep the score at 2-1. Sinkhorn issued leadoff walks in the next two innings. Nunley’s in the sixth led nowhere nice, neither did Stalker’s in the seventh. Stalker was even stranded on first base. Between MacCarthy and Sloan in the eighth, the Raccoons loaded the bases entirely with walks, but Romero snagged Dasher’s 2-out drive to center to keep the Loggers from extending their lead. Sinkhorn entered the bottom 8th on 107 pitches, four hits and six whiffs, and the Coons still couldn’t overturn him with their 2-3-4 batters. It would be the right-hander Justin Guerin and his 4.88 ERA in the bottom 9th; Spencer hit a leadoff single before Graves batted for Romero and knocked the ball straight into a double play. Oh for crying out loud! Armetta batted for Stalker and singled, and Guerin knicked Prieto afterwards. However, that left us with exactly two options with two on and two out. Either bat Sugano, which SOUNDED bat, but you know, the only alternative left on the bench was Dwayne Metts. (sigh) Oh **** it, bring Metts. To nobody’s surprise, he struck out real hard. 2-1 Loggers. Nunley 2-4; Armetta (PH) 1-1; Gutierrez 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 4 BB, 4 K, L (5-5) and 1-2;

Raccoons (52-63) @ Gold Sox (64-49) – August 12-14, 2022

The Gold Sox’ rosy .566 winning percentage had them nowhere near the lead in the FL West. They trailed the Scorpions by 9.5 games, and looking at their +6 run differential maybe they had been too lucky even for the record they had. They were seventh in runs scored, fourth in runs allowed, but the overall mix just didn’t cry out WE’RE WINNING to anybody. Many of their best players were relief pitchers, which sometimes explained a thing or two. Well, and Yoshi Nomura, who at age 38 was batting .357 with three homers and 37 RBI. He had just come off the disabled list after recovering from hamstring issues and was currently not qualifying for a batting title. Through mysterious ways, this was the 11th consecutive year these two teams would play another. The series had ended in sweeps in each of the last four seasons, with each team coming out on top twice. The Coons took all three games in 2021.

Projected matchups:
Matt Huf (1-3, 5.82 ERA) vs. Mike Tandy (8-7, 3.70 ERA)
Ryan Nielson (5-5, 2.92 ERA) vs. Mike Cavallin (4-2, 3.36 ERA)
Jesus Chavez (0-3, 4.28 ERA) vs. Warren Polito (12-6, 4.65 ERA)

Three starters we may have never seen before; none of them was older than 26, and none of them had ever played in the CL before. Cavallin was the lone left-hander in the group, and also a rookie swingman that was striking out nine per nine.

The Gold Sox had major injury woes. While Yoshi was back, they had six players on the DL, including SP Tommy Weintraub (8-4, 3.50 ERA), who was out for the season with radial nerve compression, and three guys from the starting lineup with Justin Godown, Rich Hereford, and Ramon Luna. All of those three had batted at least .283, leaving them with a rotten bottom half of the order.

Game 1
POR: LF Carmona – CF Stevenson – 3B Nunley – C Rice – RF Graves – SS Stalker – 2B Spencer – 1B Armetta – P Huf
DEN: LF F. Salazar – CF B. Ortega – 2B Nomura – RF Rocha – 3B I. Alvarez – C Luckert – 1B Bean – SS Camacho – P Tandy

Izzy Alvarez’ error on Huf’s easy grounder produced the only base runner for either team through three innings. Cookie took a sharp liner by Yoshi Nomura into left, and that pretty much the only danger from either lineup. Matt Nunley’s home run in the fourth inning was also the first base hit in the game, and Danny Rice could have followed that success up with a double down the rightfield line, but standing on second base the Gold Sox appealed to the first base umpire that Rice missed the bag, and the man in black duly raised his fist, sending Rice back to the dugout. That was the Coons’ only offensive outburst in the middle innings. Huf remained perfect through five innings before drilling Tim Bean. Omar Camacho then singled to right, with Graves spotting Bean making a run for third base and throwing him out. Camacho reached second base on the play; while Tandy flew out easily, Felix Salazar singled up the middle, easily scoring the speedy shortstop to tie the game.

The Raccoons remained offensively awful, not reaching base again until the eighth inning when Jarod Spencer hit a 1-out single. Armetta flew out to left, which brought in Rockwell to bat for Huf in a desperate move that would not pay off at all with him grounding out to short. The Gold Sox missed scoring Izzy Alvarez after his leadoff walk drawn against Bricker in the bottom 8th, and neither team managed to amount to much in the ninth inning, sending the game to extra innings tied at one with six hits total in the snoozey nine innings. The Critters had only two of those, but doubled their output in the tenth inning in every regard. Zach Graves stretched the paws for a double on a ball that didn’t even get past Mario Rocha right at the rightfield line, then ran like crazy on Jarod Spencer’s 2-out single to center. Bobby Ortega’s throw was that wee bit late, and the Critters squeezed the go-ahead run across, then had to watch in abhorrence as Brett Lillis issued a leadoff walk to Jerrod Luckert in the bottom of the tenth inning. Luckily, Armetta made a good play on PH Julio Candela’s grounder, getting Luckert forced at second base, and keeping the double play intact that Camacho then grounded into. Stalker to Spencer to Armetta, ballgame. 2-1 Blighters. Spencer 2-4, RBI; Huf 7.0 IP, 2 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 2 K;

Game 2
POR: LF Stevenson – SS Stalker – C Rice – 1B Rockwell – RF Graves – 2B Spencer – 3B Armetta – CF Romero – P Nielson
DEN: LF F. Salazar – SS Camacho – RF Rocha – 3B I. Alvarez – 2B Nomura – RF B. Ortega – C Luckert – 1B Bean – P Cavallin

The Gold Sox were ready to rip Nielson a new bum hole, with five hard base hits piled up by them in the first two innings, including all of the first three batters hitting line drive singles. The fact that they only scored one run in the two innings stemmed from the fact that they made two outs on the bases, Salazar getting thrown out on a double steal before Mario Rocha, the disgusting ex-Elk, could score him with a single, and Ortega was thrown out by Graves at home plate in the second.

Through five innings, the Coons would amount to three singles. Stalker got on in the first, but was caught stealing. Armetta hit a leadoff single in the third, but only reached second base, and Graves hit a leadoff single in the fifth, but also seemed to stall at second base, which he only reached on a wild pitch. The Sox walked Romero intentionally with two outs to bring up Nielson, but unfortunately Cavallin also lost him to a walk, filling the sacks for Stevenson, whose easy fly to right was so easy, Rocha was actually yawning while it was in flight. So much excitement! Because things were just going to be ****, a few moments after stranding a full set of runners, the Raccoons also watched Cavallin bomb Nielson for his first career homer, running the score to 2-0… That wasn’t the last home run in the game, and not only in the same half-inning. After a Camacho double with two outs, Mario Rocha also hit a blast to left center, extending the Gold Sox to a 4-0 advantage. The Raccoons would remain held to the same hits total they enjoyed the day before – four – and this time would never challenge home plate. They only reached third base once in the entire game. 4-0 Gold Sox. Armetta 1-2, BB;

Interlude: waiver claim

Sunday saw the Raccoons claim a Luke Newton-type player off waivers, as they selected OF/1B Frank Santos (.212, 0 HR, 1 RBI) from the Wolves.

Santos, 28, was a career nobody who had collected some 500 career at-bats since 2018, batting .270 with two homers in the meantime. He was a right-handed batter and a bit of a defensive option for all his positions. The Raccoons mainly picked him to get rid of Dwayne Metts again.

Raccoons (52-63) @ Gold Sox (64-49) – August 12-14, 2022

Game 3
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Spencer – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – RF Graves – SS Stalker – CF Romero – P Chavez
DEN: LF F. Salazar – CF B. Ortega – 2B Nomura – RF Rocha – 3B I. Alvarez – C Luckert – 1B Bean – SS Camacho – P Polito

The Coons were actually still alive and scored a few early runs. Romero hit a 2-out single in the second inning to late Rockwell from second base, and in the third inning Cookie and Spencer were on the corners with nobody out and Nunley hit into a run-scoring double play. Hey, whatever the **** works! Never mind the long homer .176 batter Tim Bean ripped off Chavez in the bottom 3rd – the Coons were still up 2-1. On to the fourth, where the first four Coons all reached base, with Rice and Graves hitting singles to right center, Stalker ramming an RBI double up the leftfield line, and Romero being walked intentionally to bring up the pitcher. Chavez managed a fly to left for a sacrifice fly that scored Graves, 4-1. Cookie popped out to short, but Spencer got nicked, bringing up Nunley with the bases loaded. Now, remember, Matt. There are two outs, you can not hit it to the shortstop. Nunley never hit anything, instead drawing a run-scoring walk, after which Rockwell flew out to left to strand three in a 5-1 contest.

The Gold Sox had two on in the bottom of the fourth inning, which dissolved in a Jerrod Luckert grounder to short for an inning-ending double play; they had two more on base in the fifth, this time with 2-out singles by PH Alex Manteiga (with Polito out of the game) and Felix Salazar. Bobby Ortega rammed a ball to deep center that was uncatchable and fell for a 2-run triple. I considered walking Yoshi here intentionally, but there was power behind him… Chavez continued to get raked, allowing the RBI single to Yoshi, then another single to Rocha. That was it. Get that sucker outta there. Cory Dew replaced him, only to get ****ed as well, allowing straight hits to Alvarez (single to load the bags), Luckert (2-run single) and Bean (2-out double) before getting beaten off the mound by the pitching coach with a sock containing three soap blocks. Joe Moore collected the third out from Camacho after EIGHT STRAIGHT 2-out hits. The Coons were thoroughly shell-shocked after the 7-run outburst there and didn’t quite know what to do. Startled as they were, one after the other bolted from the batter’s box in panic. The Gold Sox bullpen would retire nine of them in order until Joe Medina drilled Ricardo Romero to begin the ninth inning in a 9-5 game. Romero cried and screamed for help from Mama Coon, but the umpire was unrelenting – he had to go to first base. Soon enough he also had to run the bases following Cookie’s 1-out double. Spencer hit a sac fly, finally allowing Romero to seek safety in the darkest corner of the dugout, and Nunley struck out to end a forked game. 9-6 Gold Sox. Carmona 2-5, 2B; Rice 2-4;

The late pseudo challenge brought closer Jarrod Morrison (5-3, 3.96 ERA; 40 SV) into the game to log two outs for his 300th career save. The 36-year old was of course the Indians’ closer for six years (2014-2020). He’s a 3-time All Star, and 5 K removed from 1,000 for his career. The workhorse has lasted 985 outings so far, and has appeared in 67 or more games for *12* consecutive years!

In other news

August 8 – SAL OF/1B Abel Mora (.296, 11 HR, 56 RBI) will miss about six weeks with a sprained ankle.
August 12 – MIL RF/1B Tom Reese (.260, 6 HR, 25 RBI) lands his 2,000th base hit in the Loggers’ 7-4 win over the Stars. Reese hits a leadoff single off Arturo Arellano in the ninth inning to complete 2k base knocks. The two-time All Star Reese is now 37 years old with a .258/.349/.410 career slash line and 230 HR and 1,136 RBI. He also stole 256 bases.
August 14 – The Crusaders kept chopped up by the Scorpions in a 17-2 drubbing. SAC 2B Ricky Luna (.273, 17 HR, 96 RBI) drives in six with two base hits including a grand slam off Bryce Neal.

Complaints and stuff

We’ll play the Miners and Elks next week, and finally will have another off day on Thursday. Our next loss will be the 3,600th in the regular season, with the current team tally at 3,811-3,599. Also, getting ruffled by the Elks could bring last place with itself, so it shall be avoided.

Oh we’re so doomed.

Guerrero (abdomen) and Bullock (elbow) figure to return by Monday, and I need to set the pen straight again, too. It is not like Billy Brotman is efficient at retiring batters, so he will probably suffer demotion, too.

Fun fact: Tom Reese was born and raised in Portland, Oregon! Other Portlanders in the majors right now include Joe Medina (who allowed the run in the ninth on Sunday) and Miners lefty Angelo Velazquez; also Salem’s Andy Wright, though that’s the Portland in Maine.

Of course Tom Reese never played for the Raccoons. But he always makes me think about the olden days and Neil Reece in centerfield. Not that Reece was even remotely from Portland, but rather from Massapequa on Long Island.

Ah, Neil Reece. (sigh!) – Maud, do we have any Neil Reece bobbleheads left over? – Why not?

I would like to bobble one…..

[dynaboyj]

I've been checking in on this for years and it's always been great, but the fun facts are putting it at an even higher level. Dead serious here--forget stats and strategy, obscure trivia is why I like baseball.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (53-65) vs. Miners (59-59) – August 15-17, 2022

The Miners were more of an offensive team, ranking third in runs in the Federal League. They were suffering from one of the worst rotations in the league, with their starters piling up a 4.67 ERA, and while the bullpen did its best, there was nothing to fix their tragic situation. They did have a +26 run differential, but no matter how hard the batters tried to gain speed for the team, the pitchers were always pulling the brakes. The last series win for the Miners against the Raccoons dated from 2012, but the teams had only met three times in between. Most recently, the Raccoons had taken two of three games in 2018.

Projected matchups:
Travis Garrett (7-5, 5.79 ERA) vs. Josh Knupp (1-2, 6.00 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (5-5, 2.57 ERA) vs. Shaun Yoder (11-8, 4.35 ERA)
Bobby Guerrero (5-11, 3.94 ERA) vs. Zach Weaver (5-13, 5.50 ERA)

The Miners had only right-handed starters, and only one left-handed reliever on top of that. They were also having a few injury woes, with Joe Carter (.342, 8 HR, 38 RBI) unavailable, and former Critter (and still oh so beloved…! Where’s the blunderbuss…!?) Mike Bednarski (.274, 8 HR, 56 RBI) was laboring on a sore groin.

Talking about injuries, the Coons were going to abuse the disabled list to move pitchers around a bit. Bobby Guerrero and Daniel Bullock were both eligible to come off the DL at this point, although only Bullock was activated before the game (with sadly lacking left-hander Billy Brotman sent back to AAA), while Guerrero would not be activated until *after* Tragic Travis would make a start on Monday. The reasoning was not related with either of those two (although Garrett’s bags were packed and the cab was waiting to get him to the nearest bus terminal as soon as he would have inevitably ****ed up the series opener), but I wished to move Matt Huf – who was struggling badly – to move beyond our off day on Thursday to give him a breather. Gutierrez would make his start on regular rest on Tuesday, and Guerrero would line up for Wednesday, which would have been Huf’s turn.

Game 1
PIT: C Jolley – SS Tyer – RF B. Adams – CF Quinn – LF Bednarski – 3B Bahner – 1B P. Cruz – 2B Ruggeri – P Knupp
POR: LF Carmona – CF Stevenson – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – 2B Spencer – RF Graves – SS Stalker – P Garrett

Some things never change, like Bednarski striking out with two on and two outs against a bloodied and beaten Travis Garrett in the third inning. Garrett had just walked Justin Quinn after Bill Adams had emptied the bases with a 3-run double past Cookie Carmona in the left-center gap. Key in loading the bases had been Garrett’s stupid decision to try and get lead runner D.J. Ruggeri at second base on Josh Knupp’s bunt, which didn’t work out quite like that. The three runs overturned the Critters’ run in the bottom 2nd, in which Spencer had singled, stolen his 11th base of the season, and scored on Zach Graves’ single, all with two outs. Graves would also tie the game again his next time at the plate, and also with two outs, doubling up the rightfield line in the bottom of the fourth inning to bring home Rockwell and Rice, both of whom Josh Knupp had walked on four pitches.

There wouldn’t be a non-2-out run scored until the sixth inning when Rockwell came home on Spencer’s 1-out infield single. This tied the game again, because Travis Garrett was still allowed to be in the same zip code as the ballpark, so runs would fly onto the board magically all the time. In the top of the sixth the Miners scored because Garrett walked Quinn, then threw a wild pitch to get him into scoring position, and then promptly coughed up another single. Garrett got put on the bus after Graves’ groundout and the Miners’ intentional walk to Tim Stalker. Sam Armetta batted with two outs, singled up the middle, and the speedy Spencer raced across home plate to give the Critters the lead, which was thus also Garrett’s posthumously. The bases would be loaded after Cookie worked the fifth walk off Knupp, but Stevenson popped out to Ruggeri to keep the runners aboard in a 5-4 game. Cory Dew kept the Miners away in the seventh, the bottom of which saw Brian Gilbert issue two walks, then a 1-out RBI single into center to Spencer. Runners (Rice, Spencer) were still on the corners for Graves, who hit into a double play anyway. That lone add-on run didn’t stand up; Justin Quinn singled off Quinn MacCarthy (I am confused!) to begin the eighth inning, and Noah Bricker would wave the runner around with a single by Travis Bahner, then a wild pitch – and then the Coons reclaimed the run in the bottom 8th on Stevenson’s 2-out double that plated Stalker. Brett Lillis though needed no insurance run – he retired the Miners in order. 7-5 Coons. Stevenson 2-5, 2B, RBI; Spencer 3-4, 2 RBI; Graves 2-4, 2B, 3 RBI; Armetta (PH) 1-1, RBI;

Travis Garrett was now with eight wins the sole team leader in that category. Demoted he was, still. This required waivers again.

Game 2
PIT: 1B P. Cruz – SS Tyer – RF B. Adams – CF Quinn – LF Bednarski – 3B Bahner – C Henley – 2B Mathews – P Yoder
POR: LF Carmona – CF Stevenson – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – 2B Spencer – RF Graves – SS Stalker – P Gutierrez

Both starting pitchers faced the minimum through three innings. While Gutierrez was actually still perfect, the Coons had seen Josh Stevenson on base in the first inning with a single, at least until he had been caught stealing. Bill Adams was the Miners’ first runner, drawing a 2-out, full-count walk in the fourth inning, but Quinn – the only left-handed bat in the lineup in either of those two games so far – grounded out softly. For the Coons in the bottom 4th it was Stevenson again, hitting a ball into the gap in left center, but not past Bednarski. He still legged it out for a double. Nunley sent a soft pop near the line behind third base, but Bahner couldn’t find the ball while running back, and Bednarski, hampered as he was, could not come in remotely fast enough. Nunley reached base on the terrible bloop single, putting runners on the corners for Rockwell, who walked, and then Yoder balked before ever throwing a pitch to Rice. That scored the first run in the game; Rice would strike out, but Spencer singled sharply up the middle, driving in the runners from scoring position and extending the lead to 3-0!

Stevenson scored here, but that was his last appearance in the game log for a while. He hurt his knee on a sliding catch in the very next inning. While he retired J.J. Henley, he also had to retire from the game, replaced by Frank Santos, who only now made his Raccoons debut. The Miners meanwhile had runners on the corners now with one out, courtesy of not one, but two leadoff walks issued by Gutierrez in the inning. They would not score, though, thanks to former Critter Joey Mathews popping out to short and Yoder rolling a grounder back to the mound. Pedro Cruz’ single up the middle to begin the sixth was the Miners’ first actual base hits, but Adams’ double play would soon negate it. After those somewhat rough middle innings, Gutierrez would retire the Miners in order in the seventh and eighth. There was a case to be made to have him bid for the shutout, but two things worked against him. First, he was a rookie on 103 pitches, and second, he was also leading off the bottom 8th against Yoder, and was no mint condition Jonny Toner to begin with. Bullock batted for him, didn’t reach base, and neither did Cookie nor Santos. Brian Tyer hit a 1-out single for the Miners off Brett Lillis in the ninth, but Adams and Quinn made quick and poor outs to keep the Miners shut out. 3-0 Critters! Stevenson 2-2, 2B; Spencer 2-3, 2 RBI; Gutierrez 8.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 6 K, W (6-5);

The Druid’s report came back quickly – Stevenson had torn the meniscus in his knee and would be on the shelf for four weeks or longer. And here goes another Furball to the DL!

The Raccoons forewent the opportunity to recall either Dwayne Metts or Omar Alfaro. We called up 1B Russ Greenwald, who had not seen daylight since 2019, and was a 28-year-old quad-A player with no hope to ever make it a career somewhere. He was batting .294 with nine homers in St. Pete. His major league career had been limited to 133 AB so far, with a .226 clip, 2 HR, and 15 RBI.

Game 3
PIT: C Jolley – SS Tyer – RF B. Adams – CF Quinn – LF Bednarski – 3B Bahner – 1B P. Cruz – 2B Mathews – P Weaver
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Spencer – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – RF Graves – CF Romero – SS Bullock – C Prieto – P Guerrero

Twice in the first three innings did the Miners put their leadoff man on base – Jayden Jolley with a walk in the first, and Pedro Cruz with a single in the third – and twice did they hit into a double play. That Zach Weaver struck out bunting after Mathews had singled to put two on with nobody out was also not helpful to their cause. Not helpful to the Coons’ was Spencer getting caught stealing after his first-inning single. Both teams would in this fashion consistently waste their multitude of chances, including Bobby Guerrero bunting into a force at third base after Bullock and Prieto had both singled to begin the bottom of the fifth inning. The Coons loaded the bags in the inning – though only because Spencer got a love tap from Weaver in the bum – but Nunley’s fly to left was caught by the bednarded Bedevilski.

Well at some point some pitcher had to do something utterly stupid. Guerrero walking the bases full after Tyer’s leadoff single in the sixth certainly fit the description. Bahner and Cruz both hit RBI singles with one out to knock him from the game. The three remaining runners remained on base – Logan Sloan was lucky enough that he had a guy with range in leftfield, Cookie snagging a soft looper by Mathews in shallow left, and then struck out Weaver, who was not hit for and ended the inning.

Bottom 8th, still down 2-0, the Coons got their leadoff man on base when Cookie singled off Weaver. It ended an 0-for-11 drought in the series for Cookie, and Spencer’s single soon put the tying run aboard. Maybe the Miners want to consider their sterling pen? No? Fine. Don’t mind if we do. Nunley worked a walk to fill the bases, which finally caused panic to break out in the Miners’ dugout. Right-hander Nick Salinas replaced Weaver, but Rockwell knocked a ball sharply over the mound, through Salinas’ O-shaped legs, and into centerfield. Cookie scored, Spencer scored – tied ballgame! The go-ahead run, however, never moved off second base as Graves, Romero, and Bullock made outs in succession against Salinas. Top 9th, Joe Moore walked Mathews, whom Prieto then ill-advisedly tried to pick off first base. NOT THAT MATHEWS WOULD GO ANYWHERE, THIRTY-NINE YEARS OLD. The ball eluded Rockwell, Mathews eloped to second base, and the mess was real with one out. Moore whiffed Ruggeri in the #9 hole, then battled for nine pitches with Jayden Jolley until the catcher grounded to short for the third out. Former Critter Troy Charters surrendered a triple to Cookie in the ninth inning! However, that one came after Prieto and Greenwald had made poor outs, and Spencer’s liner to left was caught by Bednarski, sending the game to extra innings. Bednarski was at the plate in the top 10th against Noah Bricker with Tyer and Quinn in scoring position after a walk, a single, and an odd throw to third base by Graves that wasn’t going to get anybody. Was I worried? NAH!! Bednarski had never harmed as much as a fly in this ****ing ballpark. He wasn’t gonna harm the Critters right now. Grounder to third, Nunley on it, to first base, and the runners held. Two outs. I felt the urge to open the window and holler down “BEDNARSKI SUUUCKS!!!”. That felt good! Will Newman pinch-hit then and flew out to left, but the game extended to the 11th anyway. In the bottom of that inning Bullock led off with a single to right center. Rice had been expended earlier, so Prieto had to bat … or bunt. He laid down a doozy to move Bullock to second, with Armetta batting for Bricker and whiffing against Brian Gilbert. Cookie walked, Gilbert threw a wild pitch to move the winning run to third base, and Spencer still couldn’t end the game, grounding out to Gilbert.

While the Miners were out of bench by the 12th inning, the Coons threatened to run out of relievers… except there was Matt Huf, whose turn had been skipped. After Quinn MacCarthy’s three scoreless innings in desperate relief, his turn was up next. Well, except if the Coons could walk off in the 14th inning, finally. Frank Santos pinch-hit for MacCarthy and singled up the middle, then stole second base. The Miners responded by having Gilbert walk Cookie intentionally, then moved to right-hander Ruben Ortega. Spencer bunted the runners over, so the winning run was 90 feet away for Matt Nunley, with an out to spare even. Except, no – the Miners want the double play. Nunley was put on intentionally, and Rockwell got the turn in the box. Aaaand struck out. Graves flew out to right – on to the 15th? Huf had a scoreless 15th, drilling Bednarski in the process, which I enjoyed. The bottom of the inning saw Romero drop a single into leftfield, substantially livening up his so far 0-for-6 day. Despite another bunt, he was left in scoring position like anybody else of these suckers, and Huf collapsed with the sound of trumpets and a giant gong in the 16th inning, walking FOUR batters and allowing a couple of hits to allow the Miners to throw four onto the board. The Raccoons chose to remain silent rather than answer their call. 6-2 Miners. Carmona 2-6, 2 BB, 3B; Spencer 2-6; Stalker (PH) 1-1; Rockwell 3-8, 2 RBI; Prieto 2-5; Santos (PH) 1-2; Sloan 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K; Moore 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K; Bricker 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 1 K; MacCarthy 3.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 3 K;

(opens mouth)

(shrugs)

(closes mouth)

Raccoons (55-66) @ Canadiens (51-70) – August 19-21, 2022

The good thing about road series against the Elks was that I was not allowed into Canada and hadn’t been in decades, and that I thus eluded their vile stench. The bad news was that I couldn’t immediately shoot failing players and had to yell at a TV. While the Critters were last outright in runs scored, the Elks were only tenth, so not exactly sparkling in the category. They were also tenth in runs allowed, with a -98 run differential. They had the tied-second-worst record in the league, but we sure still had a chance to get past them. But, there was also the fact that the Critters so far had owned them in 2022, winning eight of the previous 11 games.

Projected matchups:
Ryan Nielson (5-6, 3.11 ERA) vs. Randy Jenkins (4-9, 3.46 ERA)
Jesus Chavez (0-4, 5.34 ERA) vs. Andy Purdy (3-2, 4.36 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (6-5, 2.33 ERA) vs. Matt Rosenthal (8-9, 3.66 ERA)

Huf’s ordeal on Wednesday had lasted 50 pitches, and he sucked enough when rested that I wasn’t keen on sending him into a game on three days’ rest right now, even after just 50 pitches. Gutierrez could pitch on regular rest on Sunday, so we made another shift in the rotation there. Is it still a rotation when you never know the next guy that will come up? Coming up for the Elks were three right-handers, that much we knew.

With Ryan Holliman (finger) and Matt Otis (shoulder) the Elks had two players on the DL that would usually feature in their lineup. Holliman might come off the DL on the weekend, though. He had already ditched the brace thing on his fractured finger a week ago according to the all-knowing media.

Game 1
POR: LF Carmona – SS Bullock – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – RF Graves – CF Romero – 2B Stalker – P Nielson
VAN: 3B J. Morales – RF Kim – LF A. Torres – 2B Calfee – CF Coca – C D. Rojas – 1B Rickard – SS Onelas – P R. Jenkins

Nielson was up against an entirely right-handed lineup here, including leftfielder Alex Torres (.261, 13 HR, 48 RBI), who led the league – far and away – with 49 stolen bases and would damn sure try for 50 right here and now as soon as he got on base. He lined out to Stalker his first time up, though. The Coons grabbed a 1-0 lead in the second inning, which started with Rockwell and Rice singles before Zach Graves had to **** it up with a double play grounder. Rockwell scored from third base on Romero’s 2-out single, but the Elks flipped the score right in the same inning. John Calfee hit a leadoff single in the bottom 2nd and Dave Rojas hit a 385-footer to left center to give the home crowd something to cheer, as they were up 2-1.

Singles by Nielson and Cookie, then Bobby Rickard’s error on Nunley’s grounder loaded the bases in the third inning. Rockwell would come up with one out, knocked the ball back to the mound for Jenkins to take the easy out at home plate, and Rice’s fly to right couldn’t challenge Man-su Kim. Three were left on, and Nielson walked Torres (and later Calfee) in the bottom of the third. All eyes on Torres, who itched, but never took off in the inning. Neither did the Elks plate him, with Tony Coca’s sharp liner to right going right at Graves for a crucial second out. Nielson proceeded to serve up Alex Onelas’ first homer of the season in 123 at-bats in the bottom 4th, that extended the Elks’ lead to 3-1. The next inning saw Torres reach with an infield single, after which Nielson kept a close watch over him again, throwing over a couple of times. Torres bellowed and rustled his antlers against Rockwell’s uniform, and Nielson bickered back ferociously. Torres never took off, and Calfee hit into a double play.

The Elks hit for Jenkins in the bottom 6th when his spot came up with two outs and two on, Rickard and Onelas having reached. Jeremy Houghtaling struck out to end the inning, however. Nielson lasted six and two thirds, being replaced by Sloan with Jonathan Morales on third base in the bottom 7th. Calfee grounded out to again deny his team additional offense. Top 8th, the Raccoons made a cautious move. Cookie walked against J.R. Hreha, who was replaced by Rich Hood, who gave up a single to Nunley after Bullock forced out Cookie. Dan Moon was the next pitcher washed forth from the bullpen and walked Rockwell to fill the bases. On Rice’s single and Graves’ groundout the tying runs came across, but not more than those – Romero grounded out to Onelas to leave them on the corners, and that was also where the Coons left them again in the ninth inning, this time without scoring. Greenwald had singled, Cookie had walked, only to be forced out yet again on Bullock’s grounder. Nunley’s grounder to short was sharp, but couldn’t beat Onelas, who threw to second base for the third out. The Elks loaded the bases in the bottom of the inning. Starting with Chris Tanzillo’s leadoff single, Cory Dew also lost Kim to a single, and walked Calfee on four pitches with two down. Bricker replaced him to face Coca, got to 1-2, but then surrendered a walkoff single to leftfield anyway. 4-3 Canadiens. Rice 2-4, RBI; Greenwald (PH) 1-1;

Game 2
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Spencer – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – RF Graves – SS Stalker – CF Santos – P Chavez
VAN: 3B J. Morales – C D. Rojas – LF A. Torres – 2B Calfee – 1B M. Rivera – CF Coca – RF Kim – SS Onelas – P Purdy

Torres’ 50th stolen base came in this game and right in the first inning. Chavez was a strike away from getting out of the inning unharmed before he nailed Torres with an 0-2 pitch. Alex didn’t dig that, and instead dug for second base. Rice’s throw was sensationally bad and corralled by Frank Santos in centerfield, with Torres reaching third base. Graves catching up with Calfee’s fly to right ended the inning anyway… Graves went on to hit a 1-out double in the second inning, but when did a double ever put someone in scoring position for this team…?

The Elks scored two runs in the bottom 2nd, both unearned thanks to a Stalker error, although in all honesty by the time he bungled Man-su Kim’s grounder, Mike Rivera and Tony Coca were already in scoring position after two hard hits off Chavez. The Critters went on to have Cookie and Spencer on base in the third inning with hits. Nunley flew to deep left, but couldn’t beat Torres’ range. He could never have any luck, it seemed, but he was also only the first of four Raccoons that would fly to deep left or left center. Cookie moved to third on the Nunley play, then scored on Rockwell’s 2-out single, cutting the deficit to 2-1. Rice had an even better stroke, finding the gap for a 2-run double, flipping the score to 3-2 for the Critters before Torres caught Graves’ fly to retire the side. No Luck Nunley would finally hit one outta here the following time at-bat, collecting Spencer on his tenth dinger of the season that also extended the Raccoons’ lead to 5-2 in the fifth inning. A Rivera error would also help them to another (unearned) run in the same inning which Stalker drove in. Chavez had not been threatened very badly in the meantime, and while he allowed a leadoff single to Dave Rojas in the bottom 5th, the Elks would double-play that runner away and Chavez wouldn’t allow them another guy on base until brushing Morales with two outs in the seventh. Rojas grounded out to keep the Elks down by four, and Chavez retired after 105 pitches and no earned runs conceded. Bottom 8th, Joe Moore retired nobody, walking Torres and allowing a double to Calfee. Sugano replaced him but allowed a sac fly to his only batter, Rivera, with Bricker whiffing Coca and getting Kim to pop out to strand Calfee on third base in what was now a 6-3 game. The tying run came up in the bottom 9th, thanks to Lillis walking Moises Berrones and allowing a single to Jonathan Morales. Rojas struck out for the second out, bringing up Torres. An intentional walk was not advised, given that Calfee also had power, and Rivera was batting .312 with power… Lillis managed to extinguish Torres on strikes, levelling the series. 6-3 Coons. Carmona 2-4, BB, 2B; Spencer 2-4, BB; Greenwald (PH) 1-1; Graves 2-5, 2B; Stalker 2-5, RBI; Chavez 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 0 ER, 0 BB, 2 K, W (1-4);

Game 3
POR: RF Carmona – LF Spencer – 3B Nunley – C Rice – 1B Greenwald – CF Romero – 2B Armetta – SS Stalker – P Gutierrez
VAN: 3B J. Morales – 1B Saenz – LF A. Torres – 2B Calfee – CF Coca – C D. Rojas – RF Kim – SS Onelas – P Rosenthal

The bases were loaded before Gutierrez retired anybody, and no ball was even remotely hit out of the infield. After Jonathan Morales reached on a drag bunt to extend a 10-game hitting streak and become the go-ahead run, Gutierrez first walked Omar Saenz, and after Morales stole third base also lost Torres on balls. The Elks had Gutierrez for breakfast right there… after he also walked Calfee to push the first run across. Coca flew out to Cookie in right, Saenz went, and Cookie’s throw was up the line and nowhere near any teammate. He was charged an error, the run scored, and another run scored on Rojas’ groundout, putting Gutierrez into a quick 3-0 hole. The inning finally ended when Kim grounded out to Armetta. After three innings, the gap had stretched to 4-0 despite the Critters holding a 5-2 edge in hits. The reason was hard to explain, although maybe the simple fact that we’re in the **** would suffice?

Gutierrez was getting beaten ferociously; Kim opened the fourth with a triple and scored on a balk, 5-0, and Gutierrez wouldn’t get out of the inning. A Nunley error put Morales on base with two outs. Gutierrez was ahead 0-2 on Saenz, the only left-hander in the lineup, then still surrendered a single to center. That was it! Sloan replaced him, with Torres grounding out to short to end the inning. While bruised, the Raccoons weren’t beaten QUITE yet. Sloan went cleanly through the middle innings, and while Rosenthal was not being remotely threatened either, the top of the seventh soon saw the bags full and nobody out. Romero singled, Armetta singled, Stalker reached on an infield single. Gil Rockwell was gonna bat for Sloan and ripped a single over John Calfee’s head, driving home the Coons’ first run in the game, and his 50th (hooray?) for the season. Cookie was the tying run, but popped out, while Spencer grounded back to the mound. Rosenthal was slow to play it though, everybody flew around the base paths, and Spencer escaped calamity with an RBI single! Kim raced back to catch Nunley’s drive to right on the track – it was going to be a sac fly, but that wasn’t enough in this case. Rice flew out to Kim as well, stranding the tying runs in a 5-3 game. Rosenthal continued undeterred into the eighth inning until allowing a 2-out single to Armetta. It was the Coons’ 12th hit in the game and the last one off Rosenthal. Stalker rammed an RBI double off Moon, 5-4, but Graves grounded out poorly against Hreha to end the inning. The Critters in general and Cory Dew in particular would survive Calfee’s leadoff single and another throwing error by Rice in the bottom 8th without conceding another run, then brought the top of the order up in the ninth inning against former Furball Jeff Boynton, who as closer was somehow 7-9 with 23 saves and a 3.47 ERA. Absolutely nobody was going to reach base and the Coons were going to go down silently until Nunley was narrowly safe with two outs thanks to Bobby Rickard’s poor feed to Boynton on the infield grounder. That was the Raccoons’ 14th and final hit in a desperate loss that ended with Boynton sniffing out Danny Rice on strikes. 5-4 Canadiens. Spencer 2-5, RBI; Nunley 2-4, RBI; Armetta 2-4; Stalker 3-4, 2B, RBI; Sloan 2.1 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 1 K;

Boynton’s 16 decisions are more than any Raccoons STARTER except Bobby Guerrero has piled up this season, and those two are actually even. How does - … I don’t know.

In other news

August 15 – The mark of 200 career victories is reached by 38-year-old DEN SP Tom Weise (8-12, 4.35 ERA) with eight innings of 7-hit, 2-run ball over the Aces. It is Weise’s fourth straight victory. The 1-time All Star (2011) who spent most of his career with the Indians has also 185 career losses, a 3.62 ERA and 2,314 strikeouts.
August 15 – Season over for SAC CF Justin McAllester (.312, 14 HR, 85 RBI), who has suffered torn ankle ligaments and will need at least three months to recuperate.
August 18 – 40-year old WAS MR Angel Casas (1-3, 5.73 ERA) goes to the DL with bone spurs in his elbow. It might be the last anybody has heard of the closer with the second-highest save total in ABL history.
August 18 – The Loggers train derailed a long time ago, but they will also be without CF/RF Ian Coleman (.318, 5 HR, 37 RBI) for most, if not all of the remaining season. The 25-year old reigning Player of the Year has suffered a sprained ankle.
August 19 – The Wolves score eight on the Warriors in the first inning and keep pounding away at them for an eventual 18-2 rout. Their #6 and #8 batters, Mike Green (.276, 18 HR, 57 RBI) and Mason Harp (.308, 1 HR, 5 RBI) lead the effort with four hits apiece, and Harp also drives in four runs.
August 20 – CHA 1B Pat Fowlkes (.317, 14 HR, 70 RBI) is going to miss about three weeks with a strained hamstring.

Complaints and stuff

The … - I can’t do it. I need… (screws the cap off a fresh bottle of Capt’n Coma and doesn’t bother with a glass while helping himself)

Aaah… this is only better with – Mena! Mena! – Do you have any pills leftover that you can … - No, nothing that you found in nature. I only want chemistry. – Bah.

Oh well. The Coons’ extremely long and extremely indifferent 6-2 loss on Wednesday was the 3,600th in regular season history for the franchise. It should count for two, really. They were that awful. We are crafting on our third consecutive losing month, which is something really bad teams do. This stretch is preceded by a 14-14 May. Thankfully, the season was over soon, and hope never blossomed on the wet meadows on the Willamette.

Tragic Travis cleared waivers for the umpteenth time this season and arrived in St. Petersburg safely. That makes me totally happy.

Fun fact: Travis Garrett leads this living tissues ad with eight wins now!

I have – do I have to say … do I really have to say much more to …? He gets like five and a half runs of support in his stars, while the team as a whole is barely outpacing 3.6 runs per game overall. Only four Coons teams did worse than that mark in franchise history, and none of them avoided 90 losses. The 2005 Double-Yoshi Edition came closest to that, at 70-92.

(turns to a certain bottle of cheap booze) Oh Captain, my Captain.

You know what it is time for? The Captain Coma song! (intonates the jingle that sounds surprisingly like A Jolly Good Fellow)

Wheeen your life is hanging in te-thers,
Your life is hanging in te-thers,
Nobody likes you a-ny-way …
Capt’n Coma is there for youuu!

(repeatedly bangs head on the desk, weeping)

[Westheim]

Raccoons (56-68) @ Crusaders (61-63) – August 23-25, 2022

Both of these teams had probably hoped for more, and neither was gonna get it. The Crusaders were infinitely hampered by their rotten .240 batting average, last in the league, and they still somehow scored the eighth-most runs in the CL. Their pitching was strong, with the second-best rotation by ERA, and a solid-to-good bullpen, and the team allowed the second-fewest number of runs. But, the offense… Well, at least they had enjoyed some good success against the Critters, holding an 8-4 edge in the season series.

Projected matchups:
Bobby Guerrero (5-11, 3.91 ERA) vs. Tim Dunn (5-10, 4.68 ERA)
Ryan Nielson (5-6, 3.18 ERA) vs. Jeremy Waite (8-4, 3.25 ERA)
Matt Huf (1-4, 5.66 ERA) vs. Dave Butler (7-5, 3.60 ERA)

This series started on Tuesday, with the off day on Monday allowing us to push Matt Huf a bit further to the rear. At this point he was in complete dissolution mode and not helpful for any purpose except maybe getting a better draft pick… The Crusaders were carting up left-handed pitchers at either end of the series, with the 24-year-old rookie right-hander Waite – without a doubt the ugliest little creature ever born – in the middle.

Game 1
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Spencer – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – SS Stalker – CF Romero – RF Santos – C Prieto – P Guerrero
NYC: CF Loya – RF I. Flores – 2B S. Valdez – 1B Perkins – LF J. Williams – C Asay – 3B R. Soto – SS Hebberd – P Dunn

The bottom of the order squeezed out two runs with two outs in the second inning for the Critters. Gil Rockwell had opened the frame with a double into the rightfield corner, but Tim Dunn had come back to strike out both Stalker and Romero. Frank Santos flicked a 2-strike offering into shallow right center for a single, with Rockwell blasting through third base and rumbling down the line to narrowly arrive ahead of Ivan Flores’ throw home. Santos advanced to second base on the throw, then scored on Edwin Prieto’s single to right. Guerrero avoided any dire spots in the early innings, but when Sergio Valdez’ bouncer hopped over Jarod Spencer’s glove near second base to begin the bottom of the fourth, the writing was on the wall. The scorer, a hopeless homer apparently, gave Valdez a single for what would have merited Spencer to be send to bed straight away, without dinner. Josh Perkins’ single and Jake Williams working a walk in a full count loaded the bases with no outs. Of course the team would fall apart right then and there. Guerrero was not overpowering anybody, and Spencer was no help either, going to first base with Jason Asay’s grounder rather than at least ****ing try for a double play. One run scored there, and two scored on Robby Soto’s single to right. Santos threw home, well not in time, Soto moved up to second, then scored on Bill Hebberd’s groundout. Down 4-2, Guerrero found it necessary to allow a 2-out single to the opposing pitcher before Ricky Loya finally grounded out.

While Bobby G. made it through six innings without being completely eviscerated, the Coons offense had fallen silent ever since scratching out a pair in the second. Their philosophy seemed to be entirely that two were plenty, and if the sucker on the mound couldn’t hold the other team to less, it was his own problem. It took until the eighth inning for the Critters to land another base hit off Dunn, who from the third through the seventh had retired 15 of 16 batters, spilling only a walk to Santos, who was out of the game by the eighth after a double switch. Prieto singled leading off the top of the eighth, but never got off first base. The Critters only put a man on base in the ninth inning against Steve Casey when Jake Williams dropped Stalker’s 2-out pop in shallow left for an error. Rice batted for Romero and grounded out in a hurry. 4-2 Crusaders. Santos 1-2, BB, RBI; Prieto 2-3, RBI;

You know, losing game after game is one thing, but losing game after game while the only part of the lineup not paralyzed from the ears down are the 7-8 spots you gotta wonder…

Game 2
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Spencer – 3B Nunley – C Rice – 1B Greenwald – RF Graves – SS Bullock – CF Romero – P Nielson
NYC: CF Loya – 1B Perkins – 2B S. Valdez – RF I. Flores – LF J. Williams – 3B Schmit – C Travis – SS Hebberd – P Waite

Josh Perkins’ bomb lifted the Crusaders in the first, and the Coons by now had even lost Cookie’s bat on a transfer bus somehere. Graves, Romero, and even ****ing Nielson collected singles to load the bases in the second inning, but Cookie sent a pathetic grounder to Andy Schmit and was easily retired to end the inning without even the tying run coming across. Hard luck and tough **** both continued, with Nunley’s drive into the gap in the third inning being spoiled by Flores with a headlong catch moving perpendicularly to the ball.

The Crusaders further encroached on Nielson in the fourth inning. Williams singled, Schmit doubled, and they had them in scoring position with one out. Jason Travis flew out to right, plating Williams with a sac fly, 2-0, after which he walked Hebberd intentionally to get the pitcher up. Alas, Waite knocked a single to left, the ugly miscarriage helping himself to a 3-0 lead. Nielson walked two more unintentionally, first Loya to load them up, and then Perkins to shove Hebberd across before Valdez struck out in the 4-0 game. To anybody’s surprise, the Critters would match the Crusaders’ 3-spot in the next half-inning, piling up four singles for three runs on the unassuming Waite and the attendance. Romero started the parade with a leadoff single and stole his first base as a Raccoon. Never mind, it’s only late August… Cookie, Nunley, and Rice all had RBI’s in the inning.

There was only the slight issue of Nielson walking everything with a pulse. He wouldn’t make it past five innings, having walked six, including two in the bottom 5th. He arrived with the bases loaded and two outs at Waite, and it was really tempting to yank him right there. Nunley’s thumbs-up defense saved Nielson even more shame on Waite’s quick bouncer, and the inning ended here. While still trailing at that point, Nielson would not be stuck with the loss, although that had more to do with an errant throw by Ricky Loya in the eighth inning than anything the Coons did on their own. Nunley had drawn a leadoff walk in the eighth to become the tying run. Rice had bunted him over – always a good use for your nominal cleanup batter – to take away a double play. Greenwald singled, moving Nunley to third, and he moved on Graves’ fly to center. Loya’s throw from shallow center went over Jason Travis’ head and was only deadened by the netting behind the dish, with Nunley being well save. Bullock would strike out to strand the advancing Greenwald on second base. Noah Bricker left the bottom 8th prematurely with shoulder woes, which was making everything so much easier right now, but at least Logan Sloan kept the Crusaders from scoring as his replacement and Ricardo Romero laced a triple to lead off the ninth against Casey. Stalker batted for Sloan, singled, and the Coons were in the lead! Stalker stole second base, leading to Cookie getting bypassed. Angered, both took off for a double steal and were safe again. Spencer grounded out poorly, but Nunley blew the game wide open with a 3-run homer to right that ended Casey’s attempt at whatever. We almost got a brawl going afterwards. Bryce Neal replaced Casey and allowed singles to Greenwald and Graves with two outs, then drilled Bullock, who objected to this treatment very much. He didn’t storm the mound, but he sure trotted to first base well inside the first base line while cussing at Neal in Portuguese. Romero flew out to center to end the inning with the bases loaded, but against Quinn MacCarthy in the bottom 9th the Crusaders wouldn’t rise again. 8-4 Raccoons. Spencer 2-5; Nunley 2-4, BB, HR, 4 RBI; Greenwald 2-5; Graves 3-4, RBI; Romero 2-5, 3B; Stalker (PH) 1-1, RBI; Bricker 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K;

Bricker hit the DL with a sore shoulder, which the Druid thought would take between 10 and 14 days to heal out. Since we were still a week short of roster expansion and I wasn’t going to play short-armed in the pen right now, Bricker hit the DL despite him probably being ready again earlier than the 15 days.

We called up Adam Cowen from AAA, who had been with the Critters in each of the last four seasons and had amassed 108.1 innings in total in 68 appearances, including one start. He was 3-6 with a 3.49 ERA. This year in St. Pete he had gone 4-1 with a 3.61 ERA and three saves in 52.1 innings.

Game 3
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Spencer – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – SS Stalker – C Rice – CF Romero – RF Santos – P Huf
NYC: CF Loya – RF I. Flores – 2B S. Valdez – 1B Perkins – 3B Schmit – LF J. Williams – C Asay – SS R. Soto – P D. Butler

Akin to a coon kit that was washing down the river clambering on to a piece of log and bickering loudly – and in vain – for mother coon to come and save it, Matt Huf tried to duck under the Crusaders’ blows in the rubber game. Perkins drove in the first run of the game right in the first inning, singling to score Flores, whom Huf had walked. The Crusaders had runners on the corners after sharp singles in the third inning, with nobody out, but somehow failed to score in this situation, Valdez grounding back to Huf for once out, Perkins popping out, and Schmit grounding out.

After those rough early innings, the middle innings were suddenly a breeze for Huf, who retired all nine batters he faced in the fourth, fifth, and sixth innings. The river was rather calm here, but unfortunately mother coon was still nowhere to be seen. The brown-clad team had amounted to three singles and zero threats through six innings against Butler. Danny Rice getting hit by a pitch in the seventh inning was noteworthy as it was the Coons’ best scoring chance in a while… despite occurring with two outs and nobody on base to begin with. Then, suddenly – a branch hanging low over the river! If the little kit could just reach up and grab it before the log drifted past it; Nielson hit a single himself with one out in the eighth inning, but as pointed out before, even Cookie was now completely cold and absolutely no help anymore. He grounded out poorly (also dropping beneath .320 in the process), and the runner was left on base. The branch remained out of reach for the coon kit, the log turned a corner of the river, and then entered the wildwater section, where the little kit was swiftly washed off and never seen again. Ivan Flores’ leadoff double was bad news to begin the bottom 8th. Perkins was on duty and drove in his second run of the game – also the second run IN the game – and once Huf lost Schmit on balls, his day was over. MacCarthy got a double play from pinch-hitter Jason Travis, but Butler pitched a shutout to sink the Critters. 2-0 Crusaders. Rockwell 2-3, BB; Huf 7.1 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 4 BB, 6 K, L (1-5);

Raccoons (57-70) @ Thunder (55-73) – August 26-28, 2022

Here was a team with an actually worse record than the Raccoons, a breed of which only five were left in the league. This included the Elks, and how well had that gone last weekend…? The Thunder were in fifth place just like us, despite putting up a bit better numbers, largely on offense. They ranked sixth in runs scored and had a -37 run differential, which almost matched the Coons’ -38. The season series was even at three,

Projected matchups:
Rico Gutierrez (6-6, 2.74 ERA) vs. Bryan Hanson (13-9, 3.47 ERA)
Jesus Chavez (1-4, 4.38 ERA) vs. Jose Vigil (7-16, 5.32 ERA)
Bobby Guerrero (5-12, 4.00 ERA) vs. Evan Greenfield (7-10, 4.26 ERA)

Left-right-right from their starters. There were a few ex-Coons to talk about with this team. Andy Bareford was batting .282 with two homers, nothing outrageous. Jason Seeley was on the DL with shoulder woes, but had only been batting .217 to begin with. R.J. DeWeese was batting .248 with eight homers in cautious use. Most stunning was the Thunder’s insistence to use Dave Dyer as starting pitcher. We would miss him in this series, but the poor sod was getting strafed for a 2-5 record and 6.57 ERA.

Bobby Guerrero is coming in having lost five decisions in a row. In fact, in the last three months, he was won a single game, a 2-1 nail biter against the Elks just before the All Star Game. Overall, he has gone 1-8 with a 3.92 ERA. He was something like the anti-Garrett.

There were two developments on Friday; firstly, the series opener was washed out by rain and a double header scheduled for Saturday. Secondly, CL Ryan Corkum (5-9, 4.17 ERA, 25 SV) landed on the DL for the rest of the season with a fractured coracoid bone in his shoulder. What is that even? Mena! – Mena! What is a coracoid bone in the shoulder? – No, Mena doesn’t know either.

Game 1
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Spencer – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – SS Stalker – CF Romero – RF Santos – C Prieto – P Gutierrez
OCT: 2B Ts’ai – SS Pelles – LF W. Madrid – RF Branch – C A. Baker – CF Bareford – 3B B. Marshall – 1B Elliott – P Hanson

Nunley knocked another 3-piece in the first inning. While Cookie had doubled to open the game a day late and with the field still moist, Spencer had only reached on Bobby Marshall’s error. Gutierrez would give one run right back in the bottom of the first. Willie Madrid singled to center, stole second base, then came home on Ezra Branch’s single, and the Thunder had the tying run aboard in the second inning, but Hanson bunted into a force and Zheng-ze Ts’ai popped out to Spencer to end the frame. Oncoming traffic would be near constant for Gutierrez, who also had issued in the third inning. While briefly-a-Coon Ruben Pelles reached on Spencer’s error, Nunley started a double play on Madrid’s grounder, but Gutierrez still bled two singles to Branch and Adam Baker before Cookie took away Bareford’s deep fly to leftfield.

At least Gutierrez helped himself; finding Stalker and Santos on the corners in the fourth inning with two outs, Rico snuck a grounder past Pelles into centerfield for an RBI single. Santos went to third, then scored on a wild pitch before Cookie flew out to Madrid to end the inning, with the score now at 5-1. The struggles on the mound didn’t end for Gutierrez, though, although John Elliott’s double play grounder in the bottom of the fourth marked the second consecutive inning the Thunder erased their leadoff man on base with a ball right at an infielder. Gutierrez still fared much better than Hanson, who didn’t make it through five innings. Ricardo Romero’s 2-out RBI single in the top 5th ran the score to 6-1 and Hanson from the game. By contrast, it got even easier for Gutierrez in the following innings. The Thunder had only a 2-out runner in the fifth inning, and then none in the next two. Ruben Pelles’ leadoff single only occurred in the eighth inning. Gutierrez struck out the next two batters before reaching bed time at 106 pitches. Moore got out of the inning, and the Coons put two runs on Alex Telles in the ninth inning before handing the ball to Adam Cowen, recently arrived, in the bottom 9th. How hard can it be to get a 7-run lead over the finish line? Plenty hard. Cowen got bombed by Elliott and Ts’ai, with R.J. DeWeese walking in between the two shots, before Pelles finally struck out to end the game. 8-4 Raccoons. Carmona 2-5, 2 2B; Rockwell 2-4; Greenwald (PH) 1-1, RBI; Romero 2-5, RBI; Rice (PH) 1-1; Gutierrez 7.2 IP, 8 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 7 K, W (7-6) and 1-3, RBI;

Game 2
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Spencer – 1B Greenwald – C Rice – RF Graves – SS Bullock – 3B Armetta – CF Romero – P Chavez
OCT: 2B Ts’ai – 3B V. Ramirez – C Pizzo – RF Branch – CF Bareford – LF DeWeese – SS N. Brown – 1B Elliott – P Vigil

Hard hits by Mike Pizzo and Ezra Branch plated a first-inning run for the Thunder in the nightcap, and Chavez didn’t look exactly dominant at any point in this start. The Coons would briefly take the lead on Danny Rice’s 2-piece in the fourth inning, but Chavez drank it all away as soon as he inherited, conceding sharp singles to both Branch and Bareford to begin the fourth inning. Runners on the corners and one out, Bullock and Spencer failed to turn a double play on Elliott, allowing the tying run to score in the inning. Vigil struck out, with the teams even at two through four frames. That was also Chavez’ first K in the game.

Chavez was – deserved or not – restored to the lead in the fifth inning via Ricardo Romero’s leadoff jack, 3-2. Graves fell just short of a home run the following inning, having to settle for a 2-out double and being left on base after Bullock fouled out, but at least picked Branch’s drive off the fence in the bottom of the sixth to keep Chavez in shape. Cookie made a bear of a catch on a screaming liner by Nate Brown to begin the bottom 7th, but the Thunder still got the tying run into scoring position in the inning, if only because Jose Vigil tripled with two outs, sinking a ball in the right-center gap. Bobby Marshall batted for Ts’ai in this spot, but was intentionally walked. Nope – don’t wanna have anything to do with a .310 lefty right now! Vinny Ramirez was pulled up and grounded out to short, ending the inning with runners on the corners. Portland scratched out an insurance run in the eighth inning. Cookie hit a leadoff single, advanced on two groundouts, but then scored on Rice’s bloop single to left. That run was necessary – Sugano replaced Chavez in the eighth, but got bombed by Branch with one out. Branch’s 14th homer of the season came with nobody aboard, but cut the gap to 4-3 again. Pinch-hit singles by Nunley and Rockwell in the top 9th were not enough to get a run across, because the top of the order flunked out. In turn, the Thunder had the winning runs in scoring position with nobody out against Lillis in the bottom of the inning. Willie Madrid’s pinch-hit single was followed by an Elliott double. After Brett Dobbs flew out easily, Adam Baker drew a pinch-walk in the #1 slot, filling them up. GODDAMNIT LILLIS!!! Vinny Ramirez grounded sharply to Armetta on a 1-2 pitch. Armetta tapped the base to force Elliott, threw to first – late. Madrid scored, tied game. NUNLEY WOULD HAVE MADE THAT, YOU SUCKER!! Pizzo flew out to right, sending the game to extras, where Willie Madrid, who had started the whole mess, would finish it with a walkoff single off Lillis in the bottom 10th. Ezra Branch had drawn a leadoff walk and scored. 5-4 Thunder. Greenwald 2-5; Rice 2-5, HR, 3 RBI; Graves 2-5, 2B; Nunley (PH) 1-1; Rockwell (PH) 1-1; Chavez 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 3 K;

That is five blown saves for Lillis this year. He’s not the reason why this team is 13 under .500, but … aaah…

Game 3
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Spencer – 3B Nunley – 1B Rockwell – C Rice – SS Stalker – RF Graves – CF Romero – P Guerrero
OCT: 2B Ts’ai – 3B V. Ramirez – C Pizzo – RF Branch – LF W. Madrid – CF Bareford – SS Pelles – 1B Elliott – P Greenfield

The Thunder had put on a 3-spot on routine loser Guerrero by the second inning, with Madrid and Bareford opening the inning with singles, Elliott plating the first run with a blooper that dropped a wee bit behind Rockwell for an RBI single, and then a sharply rammed bouncer right through Rockwell for Ts’ai’s 2-out, 2-run double. Ts’ai had already annoyed in the first inning, dragging a bunt for a leadoff single, but had been stranded on base. None of this would be of much use to Greenfield, who left the game with an injury in the third inning. Guerrero also wouldn’t see the light of day beyond the third – although he was much more mundanely simply clobbered to death. The Thunder rapped him for another three hits and a walk in the third, he issued a wild pitch that erased a potential double play on Ruben Pelles, and John Elliott’s RBI double that ran the score to 6-0 was the end point for him. Both pitchers lasted exactly 2.2 innings. Neither bullpen would wobble much. In fact, there were only two more runs in a game that fell off the table early on. Joe Moore yielded a run to the Thunder in his sole inning of work, while Tim Stalker at some point doubled in a run off Scott McLaughlin. Not that it mattered greatly! 7-1 Thunder. Nunley 2-4; Armetta (PH) 1-1; Sloan 3.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 0 K;

Yeah I don’t know either how Sloan didn’t surrender another seven runs…

In other news

August 23 – CHA CL Dusty Balzer (2-2, 1.98 ERA, 33 SV) is done for the season due to shoulder inflammation.
August 24 – The Cyclones’ 11-10 win over the Miners on Wednesday was memorable for several things. First, the Miners managed to lose the 15-inning game despite piling up 22 hits, hinting at lousy RISP hitting, while the Cyclones eventually squeezed over the finish line thanks to a 15th-inning triple by largely static 37-year old 1B Steve Butler (.263, 13 HR, 65 RBI). PIT C J.J. Henley (.320, 9 HR, 39 RBI) leads all players with five hits (including a home run) and drives in three runs.
August 26 – RIC SP Ian Van Meter (11-10, 2.44 ERA) silences the Wolves in a 7-0 shutout, allowing only three hits while whiffing eight.

Complaints and stuff

Brian Perakis came off the DL early this week, but was sent straight to St. Petersburg. He had gone 1-for-13 in his brief stint with Portland.

(hums another tune) Where are we now, and where are we go-ing… this team is so awful, it’s really mind-blow-ing…

I don’t think this will make the Top 100. Neither will this team – in a 24-team league.

Rosters expand next week after we finish a 2-week road trip in San Fran, which is always such a good place to turn into a body adrift in the water. Our record can still get a heck of a lot worse, because we will play six with the Titans before the year is over, and encounters with them have been 2-10 unpleasant so far this year. This might just as well turn into the first Critters team to lose 90 since *2005*.

Omar Alfaro is batting .281 with 10 homers in AAA at this point. He will come back once rosters expand. Let’s just assume he’s learned his lesson.

Also, here’s an addendum to last week’s fun fact (and wasn’t that one fun!?):

Fun Fact: The fewest wins for the Raccoons’ winningest pitcher in a season is 10, a low mark set by Rich Hood (10-12, 4.07 ERA) in the 2013 season.

2013 cropped up earlier when we looked into Coons teams that used the most starting pitcher, and the reasons that made 2013 stand out there also apply here. For beginners, Nick Brown made only nine starts before hitting the DL. Hector Santos, Rich Conway, and Hood were the only pitchers to make 30+ starts, and all were equally ineffective; all had losing records, and all had FIP’s over four (though Conway escaped to a 3.72 ERA). Conway was second in wins with eight, ahead of a 4-way tie for third place with seven wins, including Santos, Colin Baldwin, Pat Slayton, and Josh Gibson. Yes, this includes two relievers.

Hood’s inverse record broke a mark that had endured since the ABL’s inaugural season. Juan Berrios had led the team in 1977 with 11 wins. In the 36 years in between, the mark was tied only once, by Ralph Ford in 2001. Kisho Saito and Scott Wade both had a pair of 12’s in the mix, and Randy Farley and Nick Brown had several seasons where they were the Coons’ sole double-digit winners and not far off the then-record. Farley’s and Brown’s seasons in this mold all occurred during the Dark Ages, 1997 through 2006.

We’re going back to that, by the way.