Portland Raccoons (ABL)

[Westheim]

Raccoons (91-64) @ Titans (90-65) – September 29-October 2, 2036

Standing in an executive suite in the booming ballpark, I knew it was for real. The scratch-and-claw Raccoons would battle the Titans for four games that could potentially decide the fate of the North this season. If the Raccoons won three games from the third-worst offense, yet best pitching in the Continental League, they’d be a win against Indianapolis away from the playoffs, and would be assured at least a tie-breaker game. If they split the series, things were still alright given the way the Critters had pounded the Indians for the last few years. If the Raccoons lost the series… (starts to get blurry vision) Boston led the season series, 8-6.

Projected matchups:
Jared Ottinger (7-5, 3.86 ERA) vs. Matt Brost (14-6, 3.30 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (8-8, 3.33 ERA) vs. Blake Sciulli (4-1, 2.39 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (12-11, 3.16 ERA) vs. Rich Willett (16-10, 3.21 ERA)
Tom Miller (3-0, 1.25 ERA) vs. Mario Gonzalez (14-13, 2.35 ERA)

With Adam Potter and Jermaine Campbell, the Titans had lost two key pitchers recently. Ivan Vega was still on the DL, but the corner guy might be activated any day. Sciulli was a rotation filler after spending most of the year in relief, but they had even skipped him against the Loggers, sending Tony Chavez (14-12, 3.13 ERA) on short rest instead. Chavez and Gonzalez were the southpaws they had to offer.

The Titans had won eight in a row, with seven in a row for the Critters.

Two streaks enter, one streak leaves.

Game 1
POR: LF Hooge – 2B Vickers – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – 1B Wallace – 3B Maldonado – SS Nickas – P Ottinger
BOS: SS Gil – 2B Spataro – RF M. Avila – LF W. Vega – 1B J. Green – CF M. Walker – C J. Young – 3B McGee – P Brost

The Coons had their leadoff man on in the first (Hooge singled) and second (Morales walked) and never did anything with them. Ottinger meanwhile remained beleaguered and the kid with matches in a dynamite factory. Antonio Gil and Moises Avila reached base in the first, but were stranded in scoring position. In the second, Mark Walker opened with a single to right, Ottinger walked Jim Young, and Chris McGee eventually dropped in an RBI single to get the scoring underway, just for the wrong team… Brost struck out, Gil popped out, and Keith Spataro, the Titans’ preferred choice of dagger against the Critters in recent years, whiffed to strand two in scoring position again. And no, there was no working with Ottinger – when the Coons took a 2-1 lead with a Hooge single, Vickers RBI double, and Fowler RBI single in the top 3rd, their starter threw it back out immediately, walking THREE Titans in the bottom of the inning and conceding another two runs, one on a Mark Walker double with two aboard and one out, and another one on Chris McGee’s grounder with the bases loaded and still one out…

Ottinger was yanked after a leadoff walk to Gil in the fourth, but it was already too late. The Coons brought on Travis Sims just to get through the inning, but he immediately gave up a bomb to Keith Spataro (ah, there he was…), dropping behind 5-2, then dug an even deeper hole with another two hits, a walk, and a wild pitch against him, being yanked down 7-2 with Walker on first and only one out to his dismal name. The game was an obvious loss at this point, since the only harm the Raccoons’ lineup managed to inflict on Boston was a Manny Fernandez blooper that Willie Vega caught with a daring dive, breaking a rib in the process and being rendered out for the season, removing his .244 bat 13 homers from the equation. His replacement, Chris Barnes, hit a triple off Citriniti in the bottom 6th, but with two outs and without Josh Green driving him home, like another run would have mattered.

The Coons got Brost out in the seventh when Maldonado and Maruyama appeared on the corners with one out, but there was an error involved in that, and the sac fly Ed Hooge hit off the right-hander Jesse Erickson was unearned. (And yes, the left-handed Jesse Erickson was also around…). That was about the last thing the Coons cobbled together in this morale-sapping loss, which included the Titans having more runners aboard in the seventh and eighth innings before hitting into timely double plays and failing to tack on. 7-3 Titans. Hooge 2-4, RBI; Maldonado 2-4; Hennessy 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K; Citriniti 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 3 K;

Game 2
POR: LF Hooge – 2B Vickers – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – 1B Wallace – 3B Downs – SS Triolo – P Sabre
BOS: LF O. Mendoza – SS Gil – RF M. Avila – 1B J. Green – 2B Spataro – CF M. Walker – C J. Young – 3B McGee – P Sciulli

Bringing up Sabre now would not calm me down any given he had also been wobbling lately. The Coons spotted him a 2-0 lead on Fowler’s 27th homer of the season, which was *crushed* outta rightfield off Sciulli in the first. Hooge had reached with a four-pitch walk to begin the game. Like on Monday, the Titans got an immediate base runner on Oscar Mendoza’s single, but he was caught stealing and the bottom 1st yielded no instant rally. The top 2nd instead saw three on with nobody out – Wallace singled, Downs walked, and Triolo did the best he could and hit a spiker at Spataro, who fudged it for an error. Whatever works, boys!! (claps paws with vigor!) Whatever works!! Sending Sabre to bat worked in the sense that the didn’t hit into a triple play AND even got a run home, grounding out to Josh Green, 3-0. In a perfect world, Ed Hooge would then have done better than a comebacker that froze the runners, and Vickers whiffed altogether… Sabre responded by giving up screaming extra-base drives to Green, Spataro, and Young in the bottom of the inning, getting humped for two runs, and it might have been three if Fernandez hadn’t risked leg and neck to catch McGee’s potential gapper with a headlong catch… Not that Sabre got any better – Mendoza ripped a leadoff double in the bottom of the third, Gil walked, and then Triolo got hold of a sharp Moises Avila bouncer for a double play. The tying run on third base would be cashed, however, when Josh Green homered to dead center, giving the Titans a 4-3 lead. Sabre logged only one more out, Scuilli’s sac fly in the bottom 4th after a Young single and a McGee double… David Fernandez cleaned up the ****ing mess, but the Coons were now behind by two, 5-3…

That was shortened to 5-4 in the following half-inning, Fernandez getting on base, stealing his 30th base on Fowler’s double to center. Fowler himself was thrown out trying to score on Tony Morales’ single, driving another dagger into my heart. The sixth, seventh, and eighth saw no major Raccoons action on the base paths… Sciulli went six muddled innings, which somehow seemed enough for a win, with Alan Mays, Austin Holt, and Tim Wells piecing together the seventh and eighth. Come the ninth, left-hander Wyatt Hamill was sent out as auxiliary closer. He had a 1.55 ERA and he’d face the bottom of the order. Stalker batted for Downs leading off and singled to right, putting the tying run on base. Maruyama batted for Triolo, fell to 0-2, grounded to short, and somehow the Titans couldn’t turn the double play they deserved, getting only Stalker at second. Kurt Wall hit for Garavito and singled sharply to left. The tying run moved to second base, and at this point, Jesus Maldonado would pinch-run for Maruyama. He could probably score on a single like the one Ed Hooge tried to drop into rightfield, Avila was rushing in and trying to reach it, but it dinked in inches ahead of his glove, got under it, and re-appeared several feet behind him! Avila had to hit the anchor, reverse, and Maldonado easily scored on the error, with Wall and Hooge into scoring position in a 5-5 tie! Vickers broke the tie with a sac fly to Oliver Zumbo (who?) in leftfield before Hamill rung up Manny Fernandez in a tight battle to end the inning. Now the Raccoons sent a southpaw to defend a 1-run lead. Yeom Soung struck out Jay Elder in the #9 hole, PH Andy Schmit in the #1 slot, and had Gil at two strikes before conceding a single. Avila popped out to Vickers to end the game. 6-5 Raccoons. Fowler 2-4, HR, 2B, 3 RBI; Morales 2-4; Wallace 2-4; Stalker (PH) 1-1; Wall (PH) 1-1; Prieto 2.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Pretty sure they want to kill their old GM…

Game 3
POR: LF Hooge – 2B Stalker – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – 1B Wallace – 3B Downs – SS Triolo – P B. Chavez
BOS: LF O. Mendoza – SS Gil – RF M. Avila – 1B J. Green – 2B Spataro – CF M. Walker – C J. Young – 3B McGee – P Willett

October descended, baseball came with it, and the Raccoons still couldn’t find a ****ing pitcher to save their season. Bernie Chavez allowed a leadoff single to Mendoza in the first, walked Gil, and gave up two runs on Avila’s double off the top of the fence. Spataro would of course add an RBI single, giving Boston an instant 3-0 lead. A 2-out double by Wallace in the second and a 2-out triple by Hooge in the third both led precisely nowhere, and the Raccoons were still drawing blanks when they had to replace Chavez after five ****ty innings that had taken him 105 pitches… With the way things were going, this would have been his final ****ty innings in ’36… The final nail was probably the ****head Travis Sims allowing a 2-out RBI single to WILLETT in the bottom 6th, which only then enlarged the Titans’ lead to 4-0.

It was a major surprise when Willett hiccuped badly to begin the seventh inning. He was 3-hitting the miserable Coons through six, but Fowler led off with a soft single. Morales legged out an infield single between McGee, Willett, and Young, and Wallace singled firmly to center, which loaded the bases with nobody out, and Adam Downs was the tying run. He promptly struck out. Maldonado batted for Triolo and grounded to short for a double play fast-exit to the inning, except that Gil threw the ball away and all paws were safe while Fowler scored with the team’s first run. Vickers batted for John Hennessy, hit the first pitch to short, and this time the Titans didn’t fart on it, 6-4-3 went the inning… The Critters then sent Colt Willes for his second warm-up outing, which rather rapidly saw him walk Avila and give up a bomb to – of course – Spataro, burying the Critters five deep and ending the game for good. Willes then promptly injured himself in the eighth, but had already assured that nobody would miss him… Portland had a leadoff single by Fowler off Alan Mays in the ninth. And then they had Morales chomp another ball into a double play, 4-6-3 this time. 6-1 Titans. Fowler 2-4; Wallace 2-4, 2B;

Given that we’d already be two games behind if Moises Avila hadn’t overrun Hooge’s single on Tuesday, it’s probably just fair game to congratulate the Titans to their inevitable division crown before Thursday’s game and then leave town with as little noise as possible.

The division was tied, but there was no way the Raccoons would scratch out a win with Tom Miller on Thursday, OR rally from a 1-game deficit afterwards…….

Game 4
POR: SS Stalker – 2B Vickers – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 3B Maldonado – C Wall – 1B Maruyama – RF Pinkerton – P Miller
BOS: LF O. Mendoza – SS Gil – RF M. Avila – 1B J. Green – 2B Spataro – CF M. Walker – C J. Young – 3B McGee – P T. Chavez

Miller’s first went alright enough, but by the second he went the same way every Raccoons starter had gone in the series, and which hadn’t been conducive to any kind of success – straight into the **** barrel. Of course it started with a Spataro single. A passed ball advanced the runner, but Miller walked the bags full anyway. McGee’s sac fly made it 1-0, but Tony Chavez fouled out and maybe that was gonna – No, of course not!! The meltdown was in full swing with Oscar Mendoza singling to make it 2-0 and put runners on the corners. Miller plated Young with a wild pitch, Mendoza stole a base, Gil walked, and somehow Maldonado got hold of a sharp Avila grounder to end the inning, but AGAIN the Raccoons were 3-0 behind, and it wasn’t like being 3-0 ahead had been a key to success for them recently…

Preston Pinkerton’s surprise leadoff jack in the top 3rd also wasn’t the spark to ignite a rally, score seven on Chavez and make it all good. Instead, Miller walked Walker (duh) and Young in the bottom 3rd with two outs, then gave up a first-pitch bomb to the .211 poker Chris McGee that flew for about 420 feet as the ballpark was ready to erupt in riot as their team was up 6-1 in the pivotal game of the season. Miller, who had walked five in 2.2 innings, was removed to be beaten to death as monstrously as possible, leaving Bernie Chavez’s five innings as the top mark for the entire series.

Like everything else in life and the world, all the birds and the bees, and the flowers and the trees, Manny Fernandez’ 19th homer of the year, a solo job to left in the fourth, was for the ass, leaving the Raccoons behind by a slam. Wall hit a 2-out double, but was stranded by Maruyama. Instead, Mendoza singled off Hennessy in the bottom 4th, stole second, scored on an Avila single, and Avila stole second off Casey Moore, who walked Green and gave up an RBI double to – sure! – Keith Spataro, who now had 62 RBI on the year, 99 of those against the damn Coons. Walker popped out, Young whiffed, leaving the score at 8-2. And that was basically the ballgame. The next four innings were entirely scoreless. There was another Wall double that went to waste. There was a leadoff single by Fernandez that went the way of a Fowler double play grounder. The Raccoons were comprehensively beaten, got Jimmy Wallace on base with a pinch-hit double in the ninth against Austin Holt, and stranded him as well… 8-2 Titans. Wall 2-3, BB, 2 2B; Wallace (PH) 1-1, 2B;

I don’t know, boys. Maybe don’t issue ****ing ELEVEN WALKS IN A GAME!!!

Destroyed for three out of four games, and 26-12 in terms of runs (and by a bottom three offense in the league to boot), the Raccoons crawled home, bits of fur and the odd ear and tail missing.

The math was rather simple now. They were one game behind. Portland played Indy at home. The Titans would have the damn Elks at home, who were certainly not going to help us the least little bit and had been 9-20 since the start of September to begin with…

Raccoons (92-67) vs. Indians (71-88) – October 3-5, 2036

The Indians were just looking forward to going home. They were second from the bottom in runs scored (like that meant anything anymore), and their pitching had been average, with a solid rotation and a crummy pen. We had won 10 out of 15 games from them, which left room to lose as many as eight overall.

No, Nick, I don’t know what happened. – No, I also don’t know how to fix it. – I don’t know, Nick, what *is* my job after all…?

Projected matchups:
Gilberto Rendon (8-8, 4.04 ERA) vs. John Nelson (5-17, 4.77 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (7-6, 4.07 ERA) vs. Andy Bressner (18-9, 2.32 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (8-8, 3.50 ERA) vs. Manuel Herrera (1-2, 4.68 ERA)

The Coons had only disaster on legs left to cart up for this series, and it wouldn’t surprise me at all if none of them went five innings. Add to that the Indians sending three right-handers led by a 17-game loser, and you just knew that Friday would bring a 2-1 loss.

Or maybe 9-1. Who knows.

Game 1
IND: 1B J. Diaz – 2B Schneller – 3B Hutson – CF Baron – LF Garbinski – RF Leftwich – C E. Thompson – SS D. Serrato – P J. Nelson
POR: LF Hooge – 2B Stalker – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – 1B Wallace – 3B Downs – SS Nickas – P Rendon

The fans hadn’t given up yet and showed up in force, but I had, and showed up already drunk and looking for something that would sooth the pain. Rummaging through Slappy’s stuff I found some rat poison to stir into my Capt’n Coma. And while Rendon would see the minimum the first time through, which included nailing John Baron and an Elliott Thompson single as well as two double plays, the Raccoons were held to a Nickas walk the first time through… Oh, those 17-game losers! They look like Pitchers of the Year against us every single ****ing time!! … (belches)

Dan Schneller doubled to left in the fourth, stole third base (…), and scored on Dan Hutson’s groundout to put the Arrowheads 1-0 ahead. Tim Stalker then led off the bottom 4th with a double off the fence and looked like the guy taped to second base afterwards. Fernandez popped out in shallow right. Fowler grounded out to short. Stalker was still at second base until Tony Morales came up and hit a blast to centerfield, flipping the score with his eighth homer on the year. Rendon immediately blew that lead with Josh Garbinski doubling, advancing on a wild pitch (…!!), and scoring on Jeremy Leftwich’s groundout in the fifth. Nickas walked again in the bottom of the inning, but Rendon couldn’t get a bunt down and popped out, and that missing base turned into the missing go-ahead run; Stalker would hit a 2-out single that would have scored Nickas if he had been 90 feet further ahead, but instead Fernandez grounded out and left runners on the ****ing corners. – Slappy, have you ever wondered whether you should just move far, far, far away…?

One down, Schneller singled in the sixth, advanced on another wild pitch, like, seriously, and was barely stranded when Hutson lined out and Baron went down hacking. Rendon went seven eventually, which was already more than I expected from our three starters in total for the series, then was hit for with Nickas on base again and nobody out in the bottom 7th. Maldonado hit into a fielder’s choice, was caught stealing, Hooge singled, and Stalker reached on Dave Serrato’s error, which should have been worth a run by now, but again, the Raccoons were just bumbling it all away. Also gone cold – Manny Fernandez, who had a 12-game hitting streak snapped on Tuesday and hadn’t done much since. He was 0-for-3 in the game, but how could you bat for him with the Indians INSISTING on giving Nelson a W, which required him to finish the inning? Fernandez struck out, the second K all game for Nelson, and when Chris Wise didn’t implode in the eighth, Nelson just remained in there. With the offense persistently terrible, Yeom Soung struck out Hutson, Baron, and PH Brent Rempfer in the ninth to preserve a 2-2 tie. – Say, Slappy… this rat poison… is it still good? I feel nothing. – The price? There’s a “25c” sticker on the package. – What do you mean, you bought that in 1982??

Bottom 9th. Nelson was still around on a 7-hitter, facing Nickas, who had walked three times, a.k.a. all the walks surrendered by Nelson. Something was working here – let him bat! Nickas struck out, and the Coons didn’t get on base until there were two outs when Hooge tripled into the leftfield corner. (sigh!!) Left-hander Cesar Castillo replaced Nelson against Tim Stalker, which was a wicked choice, but what the **** do I know? Stalker grounded out, and the game went to extras. Dusty Kulp got around a Thompson single in the top 10th as well as pinch-runner Roger Strand stealing the 333rd base of the game for the Arrowheads. The bottom of the inning brought Tim Thweatt and a leadoff double for Fernandez. Maybe now! Or maybe not? Fowler was walked intentionally, setting up a double play for Morales, who laid off the garbage for a minute and drew a walk. Three on, nobody out, Jimmy Wallace up. Surely, now! One strike. Two strikes. GODDAMNIT!! Wallace got a 1-2 to hit, flew to center and into an out, but Fernandez jogged home, and the lousy Critters vomited out a win… 3-2 Blighters. Hooge 2-5, 3B; Stalker 2-5, 2B; Morales 2-4, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Wallace 2-4, RBI; Nickas 0-1, 3 BB; Rendon 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 7 K;

Dusty Kulp won his sixth game against no losses (!?) and also reached 80 innings for the year, but not to worry, it wasn’t like playoffs were in order… Boston shook down the ****ing Elks easily, 6-0, to maintain their lead.

Colt Willes was diagnosed with a torn flexor tendon in his elbow – he was likely out for the entire 2037 season.

All of this probably makes sense on some level. With dozens of Raccoons around at all times, there are no leftovers, so what would rats feed on?

Game 2
IND: 1B J. Diaz – 2B Schneller – 3B Hutson – CF Baron – LF Garbinski – RF Leftwich – C E. Thompson – SS D. Serrato – P Bressner
POR: LF Hooge – 2B Stalker – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – 1B Wallace – 3B Maldonado – SS Nickas – P Ottinger

The screaming kids hadn’t lost their enthusiasm, while I sure had where “Ottie” was concerned. The dismal rookie was 0-2 with an 8.64 ERA for his last four starts, walked Jeff Diaz to begin the game, allowed a single to Schneller, and then somehow got a double play ball from Hutson and Baron to strike out (not that whiffing Baron was an achievement, he was easily whiffing once per game). The Indians took a 2-0 lead in the second with a Garbinski double, a Leftwich RBI single that became two bases on Hooge’s throw home, and two productive outs from Thompson and Serrato. The Raccoons? They didn’t even reach ****ing base until Ottinger of all people singled with two outs in the bottom 3rd. Hooge singled, putting the tying runs aboard, and Stalker grounded out to Serrato, ending the whole ordeal with another big zero on the board.

Dan Hutson doubled home Schneller and his 2-out single in the fifth inning, extending the deficit to an insurmountable 3-0. When Wallace and Maldonado opened the bottom 5th with singles, the Raccoons would have liked to bat for Steve Nickas, but who could they even send anymore…? Nickas batted and struck out, and Vickers hit for Ottinger and slapped the first offering he saw into a double play. Nothing got better after that. Citriniti was pitching in the seventh and put Diaz (who hurt himself and was replaced with Dustin Acor) and Schneller on board with two outs. Exit the moldy citrus, enter Prieto, who nicked Hutson, then gave up an RBI single to Baron. Schneller was thrown out at home by Fernandez to end the inning, which didn’t matter squat at this point. Bottom 7th, the useless Critters got Morales on base with a leadoff single. Wallace hit into a double play. Maldonado reached on a Schneller error, Nickas singled, Kurt Wall walked in the #9 hole, and now the tying run was at the plate! Ed Hooge grounded out to short. Indianapolis added an unearned run in the ninth when Acor tripled off Sims, who then threw away Schneller’s groundball, but it wasn’t like that play was going to ruin the season… Bressner arrived in the ninth inning on a staggering *72* pitches. Morales singled. Wallace doubled. Maldonado struck out… Maruyama batted for Nickas and dropped a ****ty bloop in a full count that fell for a single. That broke up the shutout and saw Bressner yanked for Thweatt. Pinkerton batted for Sims, hit a useless sac fly, and Hooge flew out to Leftwich to end the game. 5-2 Indians. Hooge 2-3, 2B; Morales 2-4; Wallace 2-4, 2B; Maruyama (PH) 1-1, RBI;

Matt Brost and three relievers shut out the ****ing ****-*** for the second day in a row.

With that, the season was over. Nick Valdes was so upset he left after the game, which was not something that could still lift my mood.

Everything was over.

Game 3
IND: 1B Rempfer – 2B Schneller – 3B Hutson – CF Baron – LF Garbinski – RF Leftwich – C E. Thompson – SS D. Serrato – P M. Herrera
POR: LF Hooge – 2B Stalker – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Wallace – 3B Marsingill – C Hartley – SS Triolo – P Sabre

The game nobody wanted or needed saw Hooge, Stalker, Fernandez, and Marsingill unfurl four base hits for three runs in the bottom 1st solely to mock me, and Marsingill had another RBI single in the bottom 3rd to make it 4-0 behind a mildly competent Sabre, who gave up a liner to Hutson to begin the top of the fourth, which Tim Stalker caught, but which also saw him hurt his knee. He limped off, leaning on Dr. Chung for support and if that was the final snort in his 15-year Coons career, it would only be all too fitting for this franchise. Rich Vickers replaced him in the field.

The middle innings dawdled along, with Sabre allowing only one hit and two walks through six, while relying somewhat on the defense behind him. He was on 75 pitches entering the seventh, sitting down the 4-5-6 in order. Jimmy Wallace’s solo jack made it 5-0 in the bottom of the inning and also knocked out Herrera. Serrato hit a single in the top 8th, advanced on a grounder, again on a wild pitch, and was just barely stranded when Marsingill got paws on a sharp grounder hit by Brent Rempfer, turning it into the final out. Sabre hit for himself and whiffed in the bottom 8th against Jon Lane and his 6+ ERA. Hooge doubled, Vickers walked, and Fowler slapped a 2-out RBI single to tack on needlessly. Wallace hit another RBI single off Lane, with Marsingill making the final Raccoons out of the year, one would assume, lining out to left. Sabre was back for the ninth inning, entering on 97 pitches and facing Juan Herrera hitting for Schneller and popping out. Sabre then nailed Hutson to get some traffic underway. Baron flew out to Maldonado in center, with Fowler having been replaced the prior inning. Josh Garbinski for pointless glory! He hit a comebacker on the first pitch, Sabre threw it wildly past Maruyama at first base, and wasn’t that the perfect picture for the yearbook cover? Since none of it mattered anything anymore, Sabre remained in the game still, on 108 pitches, with two in scoring position and Sean Ebner (.205, 0 HR, 1 RBI) pinch-hitting for Leftwich, which even took the platoon advantage away from the 2-out batter. Sabre struck him out, indeed achieving pointless glory with his fifth career shutout. 7-0 Coons. Hooge 2-5, 2B; Stalker 1-2; Vickers 1-2, BB; M. Fernandez 2-4, BB, 2 2B, RBI; Wallace 2-4, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Marsingill 2-5, 3 RBI; Sabre 9.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 6 K, W (9-8);

And yet, he’s a losing pitcher for his career…

Everybody’s a loser.

In other news

October 1 – The Buffaloes beat the Rebels, 2-1. All the runs scored in the 12th inning.
October 5 – L.A.’s Tom Dunlap (.288, 10 HR, 52 RBI) has six RBI in the Pacifics’ 10-5 win over the Stars. Since the Wolves also lose their game in Sacramento (9-2), this sets up a tie-breaker on Monday.
October 5 – The Condors complete a sweep of the Bayhawks to seal the CL South while the Aces lose their own game against the Falcons, 10-2, after holding a 5 1/2 game lead on September 19.
October 6 – SAL SP Brandon Nickerson (15-12, 3.54 ERA) is routed for all the runs in just two innings in the Stars’ 8-1 tie-breaker win, giving the FL West to Dallas.

Complaints and stuff

(sits at the big window overlooking the field in the dead of night, staring into the all-consuming darkness)

[Bub13]

Damn.

[UltimateAverageGuy]

Man what an ending. Both Boston and Portland played great and unfortunately someone had to lose.

[Westheim]

2036 ABL PLAYOFFS

Once more, the ABL had chewed up and spit out 20 of its teams over a six-month season and only four lucky division winners remained. Who would ascend to the very top of the pile in October?

Maybe the Miners. The first team to clinch and the one that won its division by the biggest margin of all (seven games) was also tying for the worst record in the playoffs of ’36 (90-72), but didn’t look entirely bad on the surface. The offense had been rather average and seventh in runs scored in the FL, while the pitching had been very good, with the second-fewest runs conceded. Their run differential had been +69, which wasn’t outrageous for a 90-win team, but they knew what they could count on, f.e. 5-time Player of the Year Danny Santillano batting .299 with 20 homers and 100 RBI, which was a slow year by his standards. Ozzie Burgos and Chris Russell had both batted over .310, and in the rotation Roberto Pruneda had a breakout year, winning 20 games with a 2.92 ERA at age 27. While he was the only Miner with an ERA better than 3.40, they still carted up a sturdy rotation with no gaps, and the pen was solid, too. They had no significant injuries, with only reserves on the DL.

Opposing them were the 96-67 Stars, who were in the playoffs for the first time in almost FORTY YEARS after climbing over the Wolves in a tie-breaker game, extending Salem’s even longer October drought further. The Dallas Shoebox Slappers had scored the most runs in the league despite not hitting an appreciable amount of home runs – but they had three batters with a .333-or-better average in the lineup, including Hugo Acosta (.365, 0 HR, 59 RBI), the FL batting champ. Abel Madsen’s 16 homers led the team by a good margin. But, oh, the pitching. Here the shoebox effect came through. Only Eric Weitz (17-11, 3.46 ERA) had a sub-4 ERA among starters, and while the pen had a few lockdown guys (Josh Boles, Adrian McQuinn, Julio San Pedro), the shallow end was shallow indeed, which ERA’s getting over five for some of their playoff personnel. Defense was also absolutely not their thing – they were near the bottom of the league in defensive efficiency. They had however the distinction of sitting first in the FL in both walks drawn and fewest walks conceded with a net +256 more walks drawn than issued, which was a remarkable stat.

In the CL it was the Titans once more, finishing 95-67 for the #2 seed in the playoffs after stubbing the Raccoons out of the way in the final week. Here was the best pitching in the ABL, with only 526 runs allowed over the season, but their offense was truly woeful, in the bottom three in the CL, limiting their run differential to +103. They couldn’t find even three .250 batters, and their third-highest average hitter, Willie Vega (.244, 13 HR, 74 RBI) was out for the season. Only Keith Spataro (.291, 10 HR, 65 RBI) and Antonio Gil (.278, 5 HR, 49 RBI) remained. The pitching staff had lost Adam Potter from the rotation, but that still left Matt Brost (16-6, 3.20 ERA) as the *worst* starter they would field in the playoffs. Mario Gonzalez had finished a hard-luck 15-13 with a 2.28 ERA. The pen was usually solid, but had lost closer Jermaine Campbell (.5-5, 1.73 ERA, 45 SV) just in time for the CLCS, although he could be back if the series ran late or they made the World Series regardless.

Facing Boston were the 90-72 Condors, winning the CL South after a monumental collapse on the Aces’ part in September. The Condors had the second-best rotation and the third-fewest runs allowed, but actually scored runs from time to time, finishing fourth in offense in the CL. Shane Sanks (.259, 28 HR, 84 RBI) was aging like wine, Justin Williams (.278, 19 HR, 102 RBI) was some discovery, and Willie Ojeda (.317, 24 HR, 103 RBI) was sheer terror, with a respectable supporting cast (although the lineup was a bit long in the tooth near the bottom). Their rotation was almost as strong as a group than the Titans’, with Juan Garcia (19-6, 2.51 ERA) leading the way. Their pen, however, was a bit of a mess outside of fail-proof closer Ray Andrews (5-3, 1.26 ERA, 47 SV).

This was the 11th playoff showing for Pittsburgh, and the fourth in the 2030s. They had never won the championship. Dallas hadn’t been in the playoffs since 2008. They also had their 11th appearance, but three championships (1983, 1988, 2006). The teams had never met in the FLCS before.

Both the Condors and Titans were playoff regulars, meeting in the CLCS approximately every five minutes. Tijuana was in the CLCS for the 17th time, and the ninth time in ten years, but had only one championship ring clipped around their beclawed legs (2029). The Titans were in the playoffs for the 19th time, with credit for 11 appearances in the last 15 years. They had nine championships, but only one in the last decade (2031). These teams had met in the CLCS in 1997, 1998, 2029, 2031, 2032, and 2034. The Condors had won the 2029 and 2034 matchups, and the Titans the four others.

Experts agree on both the Condors and the Stars making the World Series in six games each.

+++

2036 LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES

TIJ @BOS … 8-3 … (Condors lead 1-0) … TIJ Tomas Caraballo 4-5, 2B, RBI;

PIT @ DAL … 8-5 … (Miners lead 1-0) … PIT Omar Lastrade 3-4, HR, 2B, RBI; PIT Danny Santillano 4-5, HR, 2B, 2 RBI; DAL Ryan Czachor 3-4, HR, 3 RBI;
TIJ @BOS … 1-11 (series tied 1-1) … BOS Jay Elder 2-5, 2B, 2 RBI; BOS Liam Riley 4-4, 2 2B, 2 RBI; BOS Chris Barnes 3-4, 2 RBI; BOS Tony Chavez 8.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 2 BB, 7 K, W (1-0);

PIT @ DAL … 5-1 … (Miners lead 2-0) … PIT Neil Clark 2-5, 3B; PIT Omar Lastrade 3-3, BB, RBI; PIT Danny Santillano 3-5, HR, 3 RBI; PIT Mario Mendoza 1-2, 3 BB; PIT Jonathan Dykstra 7.2 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 2 K, W (1-0);

BOS @ TIJ … 8-6 … (Titans lead 2-1) … BOS Keith Sparato 1-2, 3 BB; TIJ Willie Ojeda 3-4, HR, 3B, 2B, 2 RBI;

Ojeda misses the cycle by a single in a tightly-fought Game 3 defeat in which the Condors score in six different innings, but never more than one run, while the Titans pile on five in the fifth.

DAL @ PIT … 2-0 … (Miners lead 2-1) … DAL Jong-hoo Cho 7.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K, W (1-0); PIT Roberto Pruneda 8.0 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER; 0 BB, 5 K, L (0-1);
BOS @ TIJ … 7-4 … (Titans lead 3-1) … BOS Mark Walker 1-5, HR, 4 RBI; BOS Jim Young 2-4, BB; TIJ Jose Flores 3-4, 2B; TIJ Donovan Bunyon 2-3, BB, RBI; TIJ Juan Palbes (PH) 1-1, RBI;

The Titans are out-hit 9-7, but pile all their runs on Omar Uribe in the second inning for a commanding 3-1 series lead.

DAL @ PIT … 3-5 … (Miners lead 3-1) … DAL Jon Ramos 2-4, BB, RBI; DAL Abel Madsen 3-4; DAL Marc DeVita 3-4, 2B; PIT Chris Russell 4-4, 2 RBI; PIT Jim McKenzie 3-4, RBI; PIT Julio Palomo 8.0 IP, 9 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, W (2-0);
BOS @ TIJ … 7-8 (10) … (Titans lead 3-2) … BOS Antonio Gil 3-5, 3B, 2B, 2 RBI; BOS Keith Spataro 3-5, HR, 2B, 3 RBI; BOS Joe Payne (PH) 1-1, 3B, RBI; TIJ Chris Murphy 2-3, 2 BB; TIJ Jose Flores 2-5, BB, 2B, RBI; TIJ Shane Sanks 2-3, 2 BB, HR, 2B, RBI; TIJ Justin Williams 2-5, 2 RBI; TIJ Rhett West 2-4, BB, 3 RBI; TIJ Giacomo Vitalini 2-2;

Both teams blow leads in the ninth inning in Tijuana before the Condors walk off in the 10th on Jose Flores’ double scoring Vitalini.

DAL @ PIT … 9-1 … (Miners lead 3-2) … DAL Aaron Botzet 3-5, 2 RBI; DAL Hugo Acosta 2-5, 2B; DAL Abel Madsen 2-5, HR, 3 RBI; DAL Marc DeVita 3-5, 3B, 2B, RBI; DAL Ryan Czachor 2-5, 2B, 2 RBI; DAL Jorge Resendez 2-4, BB, RBI; DAL Mark Holliday 8.0 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 7 K, W (1-1);

TIJ @BOS … 8-0 … (series tied 3-3) … TIJ Shane Sanks 2-3, 2 BB; TIJ Rhett West 3-4, BB, HR, 3 RBI; TIJ Donovan Bunyon 1-1, BB, 2B, 2 RBI;

PIT @ DAL … 7-5 (16) … (Miners win 4-2) … PIT Mario Mendoza 3-4, 4 BB; PIT Ben Feist 4.2 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 5 K, W (1-0); DAL Abel Madsen 2-5, BB, HR, 2B, 4 RBI; DAL Julio San Pedro 3.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;
TIJ @BOS … 1-6 … (Titans win 4-3) … BOS Antonio Gil 2-5, RBI; BOS Jay Elder 1-1, 3 BB; BOS Jim Young 1-2, BB, 2 RBI;

38-year-old Taiwanese catcher Jing-quo Liu*, who had only 44 at-bats in the regular season, lifts the Miners into the World Series with a 1-out, 2-run double off Robby Gonzalez in the 16th inning, breaking a 5-5 tie persisting since the eighth inning.

+++

2036 WORLD SERIES

The World Series was here, and the usual CL pennant winners from Boston got their closer back, which made their pitching staff look that much more discouraging. While Boston had scored 63 fewer runs than Pittsburgh in the regular season, they had conceded 107 fewer runs, and even then the Miners’ staff was one of the best in the Federal League!

Neither team had suffered injuries in the LCS. The Titans remained without Adam Potter and Willie Vega, the latter personnel keeping the offense somewhat limp. But, eh, it had been enough to topple the Condors, right?

These teams had never met another in the World Series. This left only the Rebels and Stars as FL teams the Titans had never contested a World Series against.

PIT @ BOS … 10-6 … (Miners lead 1-0) … PIT Danny Santillano 2-3, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; PIT Tony Salinas 3-4, HR, 3 RBI; BOS Antonio Gil 3-4, RBI; BOS Keith Spataro 2-4, BB, RBI; BOS Moises Avila 2-4, BB, 2B, 2 RBI;

PIT @ BOS … 4-13 … (series tied 1-1) … PIT Ozzie Burgos 2-5, RBI; BOS Keith Spataro 2-4, BB, HR, 4 RBI; BOS Moises Avila 2-5, HR, 4 RBI; BOS Jay Elder 3-5, RBI;

BOS @ PIT … 10-3 … (Titans lead 2-1) … BOS Antonio Gil 3-5, 2B; BOS Moises Avila 3-5; BOS Jay Elder 2-4, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; BOS Mark Walker (PH) 1-1, HR, 3 RBI;

As pitching remains absent, so remains the Titans’ lineup, with a crew of impostors putting 29 runs on the Miners in just three games.

BOS @ PIT … 3-2 (10) … (Titans lead 3-1) … BOS Matt Brost 8.0 IP, 2 H, 1 R, 1 ER; 0 BB, 6 K; PIT Danny Santillano 2-3, BB, HR, RBI;

BOS @ PIT … 2-10 … (Titans lead 3-2) … BOS Antonio Gil 2-4, RBI; BOS Jim Young 3-3, 2B; BOS Chris Barnes 1-2, 2 BB; PIT Omar Lastrade 3-4, BB, 2 2B, 4 RBI; PIT Chris Russell 4-5, HR, 2B, 3 RBI;

PIT @ BOS … 2-4 … (Titans win 4-2) … PIT Omar Lastrade 2-3, BB, 2B, RBI; BOS Keith Spataro 2-3, BB, 2B, RBI; BOS Jim Young 2-3, BB; BOS Tony Chavez 8.0 IP, 8 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, W (3-1) and 1-3;

+++

2036 WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS
Boston Titans
(10th title)

+++

*Yes, THAT guy.

[Westheim]

After Elimination Saturday, I didn’t eat for a week and didn’t drink for two, just lying around on the couch, rolled into a ball. Once or twice Slappy dusted me off, which was more cleaning than he usually did in a decade. I was almost at a point that I could muster enough strength for a bone-shattering sigh when the Titans won the World Series. That set me back to square one.

Or at least until Nick Valdes wired his angry budget for 2037. Angry, because he wanted his team to raise the championship pot often enough so the league would be forced to engrave his likeness on the trophy, and the Raccoons weren’t one tiny step closer to that after the 2036 season.

For 2037, he would increase the budget to $39M, our biggest ever, which was up $1.5M from ’36, raising the Raccoons from a tie for 12th place in the league to a tie for 9th place with the Bayhawks.

The five most-endowed teams were the (grumble-grumble) Titans ($53M), Pacifics ($49M), Stars, Condors ($47.5M each), and Warriors ($45M). The paupers of the league contained the usual suspects: Aces ($31M), Indians ($29M), Falcons ($26.8M), Loggers ($24.8M), and Rebels ($23.6M).

The average budget was $37.3M, about $250k more than a year ago. The median budget amounted to $36M, which was down $1.5M from last season.

+++

The Raccoons were going to have money to spend in the offseason not only because of the additional million and a half. They knew they’d have money to spend back in April when Kevin Harenberg went down for the season after all of six at-bats, killing his $2.2M vesting option for ’37 straight away.

He was far from the only free agent the Raccoons had coming up. The list also included Gilberto Rendon, the never-ending box of wonders, Tim Stalker, Kurt Wall, Casey Moore, and Mauricio Garavito. Altogether, these players had made just over $8.3M the previous season, or in other words, about as much as the Raccoons had paid to players languishing on the DL, with considerable overlap between the groups.

There would be a case to be made for keeping the sturdy pen with Moore and Garavito together, although both were 34 years old, and there was always an argument to be made in favor of Tim Stalker, the 38-year-old middle infield wonder. On the other paw, he was going to be 39 at some point next season, and the Critters had to look into getting a long-time solution for second base, which neither Stalker was, nor Rich Vickers, Yukitsura Hirai, or Edgar Barrios. Second base was a problem right now…

Then there was the arbitration table with eight players eligible. This included Vickers, a super-2 case, as well as Manny Fernandez (oh, boy, that’ll be expensive…), Preston Pinkerton, Justin Marsingill, and Adam Downs, the midseason botch job of a replacement for Berto, who had batted .346/.398/.551 for the Scorpions in 51 games, then went on to punch the air for a .231/.283/.331 line with the Coons across 81 games. And YET, they won 94 games …! Somehow. Nobody knows quite how.

On the pitching side, Raffaello Sabre, John Hennessy, and Antonio Prieto were eligible. Again, there was a case to be made to just chain all the relievers in the ballpark dungeon until the new season began. Sabre was in his final year of team control in ’37 and the Raccoons had to work out whether he was for keeps afterwards or at least compensation eligible the following winter.

Who could the Raccoons add in free agency? Well, there was a case to be made to break the bank on Enrique Trevino, who had an expiring contract with the Caps. Basically think Alberto Ramos, but switch-hitting and on second base. Apart from Trevino’s lesser defense, they were about the same player. Trevino was almost two years younger, but that was about it. If you paired those two atop the lineup, they might steal 100 to 120 bases between them and drive opposing teams completely insane with that act. Assuming they’d stay in the lineup and not languish on the DL. They had, even now, at 30 and 29 years old, respectively, a combined total of 1,055 stolen bases and 12 stolen base crowns (six each) between them. Ramos narrowly led in the SB department, 534 to 521.

We probably had no need for an outfielder (and the market didn’t look like it would be fat in that regard anyway), but even without Rendon leaving I felt like adding a starting pitcher wouldn’t be the worst move of all times.

Interestingly, there was a potential bullpen addition on the board, with Boston closer Jermaine Campbell heading for free agency in a few weeks.

And then there was the big-*** hole at first base. Harenberg wouldn’t be back, and I wished Chiyosaku Maruyama would go along with him. Maruyama was the default replacement at the steady corner in 2036, somehow rumbling into over 400 plate appearances batting for a .675 OPS, which is one of 27 possible angles to look at something and say that THAT… THAT thing right there had cost the Coons a shot at glory.

ONE GAME. ONE ****ING GAME.

(Maud pours some soothing tea into bowl with Capt’n Coma)

Is Jimmy Wallace the solution at first base? We know the outfield has become a bit crowded with Ed Hooge’s breakout season, and Wallace is no use, dead or alive, in leftfield. He played 221 innings at first base after returning from injury late in the season, and initial reviews are absolutely devastating. He made four errors, and was slapped for a -3.0 zone rating and .744 defensive efficiency. Cristiano says that he can’t find a worse first baseman in his database. Nobody had handled at least 200 chances at first base last season with that dismal an EFF rating. In fact, the next-worst first baseman that handled at least 100 chances at first base (WAS Andy Sears) posted an .863 EFF rating. That’s a cool 119 points in between …

And I had yet to begin to complain about how we had four players that had to come off the 60-day DL and back onto the choke-full 40-man roster right now…

[Westheim]

The Raccoons had some tough decisions to make, and that began even before they were about to axe players via free agency. No, they first had to empty the contents of their 60-man DL back onto the 40-man roster.

To achieve that, middle infielders Yukitsura Hirai and Edgar Barrios as well as Chris Manning were waived and designated for assignment. Catcher Chris Manning, who was up for ten games during the season, suffered the exact same fate. This allowed Alberto Ramos, Dave Myers, and Gene Tennis back onto the 40-man roster. Kevin Harenberg didn’t make it there – since his vesting option had dissolved in a puff of smoke, and the Raccoons weren’t going to follow up that disaster of a contract with another one signed with the 39-year-old first baseman, he was handed his papers early and wished the best of luck.

It was not a *pretty* move, but it was better than potentially losing a useful paw on waivers. We could scrape by without Barrios or Hirai or Manning, but most of the other players on the 40-man right now where some sort of useful. At this point there was also the thing that we wanted to talk to all of the five remaining impending free agents: Stalker, Wall, Rendon, Moore, and Garavito; the last of those had entirely silently made his way into the top 10 in games pitched for the Portland Raccoons:

PORTLAND RACCOONS – GAMES BY PITCHERS (GS)

1st – Grant West – 905 – HOF
2nd – Daniel Miller – 698
3rd – Ron Thrasher – 697
4th – Wally Gaston – 678
5th – Juan Martinez – 664
6th – Marcos Bruno – 642
7th – Angel Casas – 595 – HOF
8th – Scott Wade – 582 (421)
9th – Manobu Sugano – 534
10th – Mauricio Garavito – 533
11th – Lawrence Rockburn – 528
12th – Billy Brotman – 525
t-13th – Kisho Saito – 503 (503) – HOF
t-13th – Kevin Surginer – 503 (1)
15th – Nick Brown – 497 (492) – HOF
16th – Jackie Lagarde – 478
17th – Ken Burnett – 461
18th – Richard Cunningham – 453
19th – Ricky Ohl – 436
20th – Chris Wise – 433

There’s two pitchers with negative franchise WARs in that list: Burnett (despite a 3.19 ERA …? Such a useless stat!) and Miller, who had a rather dismal K/BB rating (barely 1.3).

Wacky numbers aside, the Raccoons still expected to need a bullpen in ’37. Extending Garavito especially was a solid option given his routinely strong numbers. Moore had been hit-and-miss, his 2.06 ERA held together by a .237 BABIP… We were split on Rendon after three years of rollercoasting with him; he would have to take a pay cut at least.

If you removed Rendon from the rotation, what remained, though? Chavez, Sabre… and then what? Willes was likely out for all of ’37. After the established duo it was cooking up some sort of soup out of Gene Tennis, if they could screw him together correctly, Tom Miller (who?), and Jared Ottinger. – What is it, Maud? – (sigh!) Yes. Ottie.

The next names on the depth chart were probably radioactive Josh Livingston and Darren “Dismal” Brown, so starting pitching was pretty high on the shopping list for next season.

Retaining Kurt Wall was possible; we had no internal replacement, and he at least could platoon neatly with Tony Morales. Tim Stalker was interesting because he’d be 39 in July, and you shouldn’t let 39-year-olds run riot in the middle of the infield. And he hadn’t aged without a trace – his range and reflexes had visibly diminished and he was no longer an above-average defensive shortstop at least. He was still good enough for a +3.9 ZR at second base (from just over 400 innings), though.

While the free agents-to-be cases would take some time to sort out, the Raccoons removed three arbitration cases rather quickly. Antonio Prieto signed a $330k deal for 2037. Rich Vickers was content with $320k.

The third was Sabre, who would have entered his final year of team control and had imagined himself a 6-year contract (and boy, he wasn’t the only one amongst those we talked about here…) worth about $15M. The Raccoons weren’t quite pleased about the idea of giving a pitcher in the category of “essentially, all things considered, a good guy” $2.5M per season (siphoning that many funds was Rendon’s prerogative, it seemed), but in the end we settled on a flat 4-yr, $8M contract. The last year was even a team option. That was still not a bad contract for a guy with a losing career record (49-50) who had never won more than 12 games in a season (’34).

+++

October 28 – The Crusaders get OF Lorenzo Herrera (.261, 9 HR, 72 RBI) and a prospect from the Falcons for SP Keith Black (22-27, 3.85 ERA).

[Westheim]

Ultimately, the Raccoons offered a contract to only one of their departing free agents – Mauricio Garavito. Casey Moore was not offered an extension because of the absurdly low BABIP that had helped to polish his numbers, while Rendon and Wall were both looking for quite expensive retirement contracts. Wall’s was a non-starter since he was the short end of a platoon with Tony Morales, and Rendon’s up-and-down antics weren’t meriting a 7-yr, $23M extension, or even half that amount.

Tim Stalker was the hardest one to cut given his forever association with the team, but here the snag was that while we would happily keep him around for another year, we were also pursuing Enrique Trevino – Cristiano Carmona had already stalked him on Gobble and we had sent him his favorite chocolate snacks with a one-way plane ticket to Portland. If we managed to add Trevino, we’d have two surplus right-handed second baseman (with Rich Vickers also around and possessing virtually no trade value), which was just a no-go.

Cuts were made elsewhere in the infield, too, with Justin Marsingill non-tendered after five years of shockingly regular service with the team. He was a career .270 batter, but had no power to speak of and only a .681 OPS. It was time to find somebody else to be disappointed by. The Raccoons would instead keep Adam Downs around as a potential backup on the left side.

While the awards were given out in early November (with the Critters taking a few things home at least in that regard… but more on that at the bottom of the pile), we got some extensions trickling in. John Hennessy signed for $555k – he was probably debatable at that price point, given his lack of involvement with the Raccoons for two years now on accounts of injury and then surplusness. We kept him anyway, because maybe we’d have to trade bits and pieces for a #3 starter.

Downs signed for $375k, Pinkerton got $315k. Mauricio Garavito got a flat 2-yr, $1.2M contract also during the awards period. And there was one more, but …

+++

November 7 – The Loggers trade MR Steve Bass (3-4, 4.63 ERA, 1 SV) to the Aces for two prospects.
November 8 – The Raccoons acquire 24-year-old C Jeff Kilmer (.244, 4 HR, 27 RBI) from the Thunder in exchange for 28-yr old AAA SP/MR Carlos de la Cruz (2-0, 3.64 ERA) and 23-yr old AA 2B/SS Jose Agosto.
November 10 – In a 6-player deal with the Falcons, the Raccoons send LF/RF Jimmy Wallace (.283, 76 HR, 425 RBI), SP/MR Josh Livingston (12-6, 3.45 ERA, 1 SV), and AA utility player Josh Bulzomi to Charlotte. In exchange three players head to Portland, headlined by SP Bryce Sparkes (50-49, 3.86 ERA), accompanied by two prospects, 23-yr old AAA SP Daniel Hernandez and 22-yr old AA CL Francisco Pena.

+++

ALRIGHT. Few things to sort out.

Jimmy Wallace had to go. There was nowhere to put him, the first base experiment in September had thrown on so many red lights and alarm sirens as to make me dizzy, and he wasn’t going back to leftfield either. The Raccoons were originally interested in Sparkes because of his formidable stuff and control (2 BB/9), but he was also a winner of the Mark Roberts Memorial Launchpad Award, having led the CL in dingers conceded with 27 this year. That was something one could work around with strong control, and Sparkes had it. The right-hander was from ELK CITY, but we’d look past that by necessity, because he fit right into the giant hole in our rotation that bitterly needed fixing.

The Falcons were naturally interested in both our Wallace and Livingston reclamation projects. While we believed that Livingston could be a productive major leaguer, the lack of a steady third pitch meant that he wasn’t cutting it as a starter, which was what we needed now – relievers we had plenty. We were all too ready to part with both of them, if we could get Sparkes instead. The minor leaguers in the deal were added gradually over several days. Bulzomi had been a second-rounder but had failed to develop his bat all too much. Hernandez and Pena had both been taken in separate July IFA periods for a total of just under $100k, most of that to Pena, who had been ranked the #64 prospect prior to 2035, but had not been ranked in 2036. Both those guys were right-handers. Hernandez was not likely to amount to much, but Pena had a swooping curve and might make a major league pen as more than an innings eater going forward.

Kilmer, who was a rookie in ’36, will replace Kurt Wall as the right-handed platoon part behind the dish, as well as slide into a leadership role. It’s been noted how even as a rookie he has spoken out against things that went pear-shaped in the Thunder clubhouse (including an incident in which SP Mike Hanneman (4-15, 4.67 ERA) was locked out on the street in his underwear after a particularly pathetic pitching performance), and the Raccoons will need a new law and order guy with Rendon and Moore departing. The price was not too steep – de la Cruz was a dime-a-dozen right-hander, and Agosto had cost $170k to sign six years ago, had reached Ham Lake in ’33 … and was still there. He had hit for the cycle in AA this year, but that hadn’t given him very great stats overall, either…

+++

2036 ABL AWARDS

Players of the Year: SFW 2B/SS Mario Colon (.312, 27 HR, 115 RBI) and POR OF Manny Fernandez (.326, 19 HR, 90 RBI)
Pitchers of the Year: SFW SP Tony Galligher (12-8, 2.28 ERA) and IND SP Andy Bressner (19-9, 2.31 ERA)
Rookies of the Year: SAL CF/RF Armando Herrera (.301, 1 HR, 44 RBI) and VAN CF/RF Jerry Outram (.282, 23 HR, 86 RBI)
Relievers of the Year: CIN CL Andy Hyden (11-4, 1.96 ERA, 42 SV) and POR CL Yeom Soung (2-2, 0.53 ERA, 27 SV)

Platinum Sticks (FL): P SAL Eric Peck – C SAL Morgan Kuhlmann – 1B CIN Chris Delagrange – 2B SFW Mario Colon – 3B SAL Chad Armfield – SS NAS Billy Bouldin – LF SFW Melvin Hernandez – CF PIT Chris Russell – RF SAC Troy Greenway
Platinum Sticks (CL): P TIJ Jimmy Driver – C LVA Paul Kuehn – 1B LVA Jesse Stedham – 2B IND Dan Schneller – 3B TIJ Shane Sanks – SS CHA Oscar Aguirre – LF ATL Luis Inoa – CF VAN Jerry Outram – RF POR Manny Fernandez

Gold Gloves (FL): P CIN Tim Hale – C SFW Ethan McCullar – 1B NAS Ricardo Vadillo – 2B SFW Mario Colon – 3B CIN Kyle Lusk – SS SAL Jose Castro – LF PIT Ozzie Burgos – CF SAL Armando Herrera – RF TOP Miguel Reyna
Gold Gloves (CL): P MIL Paul Metzler – C VAN Timóteo Clemente – 1B LVA Jesse Stedham – 2B IND Dan Schneller – 3B IND Dan Hutson – SS BOS Antonio Gil – LF ATL Luis Inoa – CF CIN (MIL) Will Ojeda – RF VAN Ryan Phillips

(bangs a drum and chants) MAN-NY … FERNAN-DEZ!! (bangs the drum again) MAN-NY … FERNAN-DEZ!!

Tetsu Osanai in ’86, David Brewer in ’95 – and Manny Fernandez in ’36. We had waited for a while for this.*

And the best part about him being the Player of the Year? A) Nobody saw it coming, and B) He signed his new contract mere hours before the announcement came out, which surely would have added a few million quid to his value! (giggles like one in a herd of nine-year-old girls)

As things were, Manny signed a 7-year contract. He’d be guaranteed $16.3M for his bothers, with incentives for future MVP and All Star considerations. The contract would pay $800, $1.25M, and $1.75M for the next three years, which would have been his remaining years under team control, then $2.5M annually from 2040 through 2044. The last year for his age 34 season was a team option.

I hear Yeom Soung was narrowly beaten in the Rookie category – not bad for a 31-year-old chubby guy from Korea with weird eating habits. – What is it, Soung? What do you want? – No, we don’t have any fried turtles! What is wrong with you??

But why worry?

(bangs a drum and chants) MAN-NY … FERNAN-DEZ!! (bangs the drum again) MAN-NY … FERNAN-DEZ!!

+++

*Hey, Steam achievement after 3,152 hours! :-P

[Westheim]

Jason Gurney departed the organization via minor league free agency this year. His ABL career had been the definition of shambles, a 19-28 record and 4.99 ERA in 78 games (65 starts) from 2030 through 2035, with the bulk of his 391.1 innings coming in 2031-32, the Raccoons’ most recent nadir. I have cussed about him a lot over the years, but then again, he had been a Nick Brown Memorial Pick, the customary left-handed pitcher selection in the 11th round of the annual draft, in Gurney’s case the #274 pick in ’26. He sure made it farther than most of our 11th-rounders!

Also gone by choice was left-handed reliever Justin LeDuc, who had one of the more infamous Raccoons careers. Seven relief outings in ’33 for a 20.25 ERA. Sod gave up three homers in four innings, which is genuinely hard to do. This was the fourth-worst franchise ERA for a pitcher (not counting Mark Thomas and Bobby Quinn getting lit up in emergency assignments many decades ago) behind Dave Beck (24.75 ERA in 6 games), Jaime Feliz (27.00 ERA in 2 games), and the infamous Mauro Castro, who gave up two runs for one out in his only start for the franchise, which was also the final game of his career. Claimed off waivers by the Titans on July 26, 2013, Castro started three days later, left with an injury later described as radial nerve compression, and then tore his labrum after signing a minor league deal with the Caps in 2014. That was the end of him.

Alright, back now to make an end of the damn Titans. We wanted to beat them by at least ten games in 2037, and that meant more roster tweaking. (hits fists on table)

The Enrique Trevino chase was at full pace as soon as he dropped his Capitals hat at the door in Washington. The Raccoons were included in the chase, and were prepared to bleed a significant amount of money to secure his services. That bidding war was expected to last for a while; but there were more battlegrounds to sacrifice big sacks of cash on.

First base was a position where the Raccoons had been beleaguered ever since Kevin Harenberg had departed for the first time after the 2030 season. We had sorted through Jarod Howden, the dumb pig, Travis Zitzner, Adam Avakian, Chiyosaku Maruyama, Travis Zitzner again, Kevin Harenberg again (but not for long), and bits of Jesus Maldonado, plus the odd prospect or two, and none of them had done anything worth nothing. Zitzner had been worth 4.2 WAR (a useless stat, but for argument’s sake…) in ’33, hitting .290 with 21 HR and 84 RBI, but that had been *it*. The rest of the last six years had been agony at a high degree, culminating in strings of batting Maruyama eighth in the last two seasons.

After 185 games and almost 600 PA of hitting .245/.320/.329 we were more or less done with Maruyama as a ballplayer, but the problem was that coveted prospect Jesus Maldonado, who could play first base as well as most other positions (the only positions he couldn’t fill in were catcher and second base), had hit a rather uninspired .256/.306/.349 in his cup of coffee in 2035 and his partial 2036 campaign, getting just under 400 plate appearances. That was almost the same OPS there… Inconveniently, the two wouldn’t mingle for a proper platoon, being both right-handed batters.

Being forced to pick one, the Raccoons would of course choose Maldonado every time. Teams kept asking for him in trades, so he had to have some value. Nobody ever ****ing asked about Maruyama, except in the sense of “you’re not gonna sneak that chum into the trade, are you??” …

With the rest of the batters more or less settled – unless Berto’s arm or Myers’ leg would still fall off – we either had to really believe in Maldonado, or find a first baseman on the market. The first option seemed hard, but so did the second. The first base free agent market was pretty thin to begin with. There was a 37-year-old Kevin McGrath, who had only made it into 66 games with the Arrowheads this year, 31-year-old Greg Regan, who had played just as much with the Titans (but at least had a ****ing ring), and then it got truly abysmal real quick.

Hey, Jarod Howden was a free agent!

Cristiano, if I sign Jarod Howden, you must make sure that I take first this green pill and then this black capsule, without alcohol. Can you do that for me? – Thanks, you are a good friend. – Why… Stop hugging me!

Starting pitchers meanwhile were available in almost all shapes and sizes. I would have coveted a high-volume strikeout guy, but exactly those were not really available. Routine All Stars were, however, like Andy Bressner. Whether he was worth the rumored $35M asking price and the first-round pick he’d cost? Well, he just won the CL Pitcher of the Year crown…

+++

November 20 – The Crusaders swap MR Gabe McGill (13-6, 4.07 ERA) to the Condors for two prospects.

[Westheim]

With the rule 5 draft approaching the Coons tried to tuck everybody in as tight as possible. Three players were added to the 40-man in late November, bringing its population to 37. These included recent trade acquisition Daniel Hernandez, 2B Jose Brito, and RF/LF/2B Cory Cronk. The latter two were 22-year-old AAA players. Cronk had been the third-round pick in ’32 and had batted only .218 with seven homers in the previous season with the Alley Cats, but our scout guy assured me that a breakout was imminent. Brito meanwhile had been signed as a July IFA out of the Dominican Republic for $76k in 2030. He had hit a crisp .300 in a full AAA season, hitting ten homers and driving in 83.

Now, why throw many, many millions at Enrique Trevino when you can have a potential stud from AAA? Because Brito had his issues, f.e. suspect defense, and we were now evaluating whether he should be moved to first base. First in St. Pete was the domain of 23-year-old Jeff Wilson, our #33 pick from ’34. He was not yet eligible for the rule 5 draft and had batted .277 with 5 HR and 62 RBI in 122 games this year. Not exactly inspiring, especially when he had hit those five homers in just 37 games the year before. While perfect solutions were hard to find, Wilson also had catcher’s gear, and now he was a lot more interesting all of a sudden!

He was not a solution to the current first base situation though. Maruyama attracted no suitors when shopped in late November, which was such a stunning surprise. Maldonado wasn’t shopped, because we already knew other teams wanted him.

+++

November 26 – The Crusaders keep dismantling, sending CL Mike Hugh (23-27, 3.21 ERA, 127 SV) to the Titans for two prospects.
November 28 – Former Aces closer Seth Odum (71-79, 3.19 ERA, 324 SV) signs a 2-yr, $3.84M deal with the Cyclones.
December 1 – Big news in Portland, where the Raccoons sign ex-WAS INF Enrique “Cosmo” Trevino (.323, 29 HR, 640 RBI) to a 6-yr, $22.8M contract. The 29-year-old Trevino’s sixth year on the deal is a player option.
December 1 – Rule 5 draft: 13 players are selected. The Raccoons lose AA SS Cole Wibur, 24, to the Gold Sox.
December 1 – Dallas signs ex-SFB LF/RF Luis Sagredo (.274, 200 HR, 840 RBI) to a 2-yr, $6M contract.
December 2 – The Capitals console themselves for the loss of Trevino by signing career Bostonian middle infielder Keith Spataro (.286, 62 HR, 636 RBI). The 35-year-old Spataro will make $5.28M over two years.
December 5 – The Canadiens re-sign OF/2B Jesse LeJeune (.282, 59 HR, 410 RBI) who initially left via free agency for 4-yr, $10.14M.
December 5 – Dallas inks 39-yr old ex-SFW LF/RF Doug Stross (.314, 123 HR, 1,202 RBI) for 2-yr, $3.72M.
December 6 – Vancouver takes former Dallas right-hander Eric Weitz (73-55, 3.34 ERA) for 5 years and $19.8M.
December 6 – 42-year-old RF/LF Pablo Sanchez (.340, 154 HR, 1,602 RBI) remains hard to kill and signs a $2.76M contract with the Bayhawks for 2037.

+++

Wilbur was a 12th-round pick, and he was living up to the hype.

Weitz was a starting pitcher we were after but were ultimately out-bid for. Our last offer was 5-yr, $17.5M. He had a K/BB ratio around three, which was something I always cherish, but ultimately it wasn’t quite enough…

But you’re here for the Trevino signing! (talks to Honeypaws) Well, I’m glad you asked! He’s a total match with Berto, just look at their profiles! Except maybe better!

(Berto sobs and, holding his somehow still casted arm trudges through the door into the next room, head hanging)

The $3.8M per year on his deal are the biggest annual salary the Raccoons have given out yet, topping the $3.5M Justin Fowler makes twice more from us. He didn’t get the biggest total contract however, because that distinction is sadly still R.J. DeWeese’s $23.1M deal from – holy ****, has it really been 20 years already?? DeWeese turned 50 in September??

Now here’s to hoping that Trevino doesn’t turn into DeWeese on the field and in the clubhouse. That would be bad… We don’t see the risk here, though – “Cosmo” is a respected clubhouse leader, intelligent (he twice won the monthly sudoku challenge of the Washington Monocle, a Sunday paper), and he has his own charity for the benefit of orphaned puppies! We should just keep him away from harm … you know, great heights and depths, knives, acid, traffic, heat and cold… Maud, say, why are the two men here lifting a full-size piano with a crane through the cargo door on the fifth floor while we are standing down here and shaking paws with Trevino for the photographers?

Other Raccoons finding new homes: Jonathan Snyder signed with the Knights for $392k; Kevin Harenberg lands with Dallas for $730k;

[UltimateAverageGuy]

Sucks to see injuries taking its toll of Ramos, that top of the order speed woildve been unmatched

[Westheim]

With “Cosmo” Trevino secured for an eye-watering amount of money, the Raccoons could focus on their other two problems – finding another starting pitcher and maybe a first baseman. Since we had an option with Maldonado at first base and waiting for his breakout while batting seventh or eighth, the starting pitcher issue was the one that should be tackled with the remaining money. And money we somehow still had left over. We had started the season with over $7M in unallocated funds, and had saved a couple of coins with the first two trades (combined) that we made for Kilmer and Sparkes. With $3.8M being thrown at Trevino, the budget still had about $4M of wiggle room (and I remember the days when $4M was our entire payroll), which wasn’t such a bad situation to be in.

Nevertheless, the Critters had already missed out on Eric Weitz. With the winter meetings coming up, perhaps now was the time to pounce.

Then there were other issues, like f.e. who of our three leadoff batters (Berto, Myers, Trevino) would actually get to bat first, still assuming that at most one of Berto’s arm and Myers’ leg would still fall off. Neither of those two would begin proper rehab workouts until February, so there was something to look forward to. If things went badly, Myers’ knee might even keep him out come Opening Day. Dave Myers had the worst cards overall here since he was not a terrific base stealer like the other two, and if you batted him first it could clog up the entire system. Two of the three could be at the top of the lineup, and the other would be buried down in the lineup somewhere between Ed Hooge and the pitcher.

Getting a good right-handed platoon partner for Ed Hooge was also something that we could look into. While Preston Pinkerton had been retained for his super utility value (which Maldonado also had), he just wasn’t a batter that kept people in their seats. Two out, nobody on, Pinkerton batting, that was when the fans at Raccoons Ballpark usually went for the rest rooms. (And whenever the announcer read out “new pitcher, Preston Pinkerton”, they went for the parking lot) … For his 5-year career of 627 at-bats, Pinkerton was a .258/.338/.343 hitter with four homers and 66 RBI. For a former rule 5 pick he was at least resilient. But he was also 31, had no options left, and we didn’t seem to particularly care about him anymore…

Going back to Ramos, there were more issues, like a diminishing defense. Our scout guy Juarez, or Suarez, or something, slashed his range rating to a 9 (from 11, and it had been as high as 13 when he was younger), which was somewhat grim. What was the backup plan? Moving him to third base? First base? We had to come up with a medium-term solution here… *however* his contract was running out after 2038 – and that final year was even a team option.

Now, cutting Berto seemed outrageous indeed. But playing a shortstop with no range was just as mad. Dave Myers was not the solution here, and neither was Trevino. Looking at the personnel at paw, I was pretty sure we’d see some innings this year where the opponents would hit six straight singles through the infielders.

+++

December 8 – Former Indians ace Andy Bressner (133-82, 3.20 ERA) signs a 6-yr, $25.44M contract with the Titans.
December 9 – The Bayhawks sign ex-POR SP Gilberto Rendon (105-88, 3.85 ERA) to a 4-yr, $12M deal. Rendon had previously pitched for them from 2026 through 2032.
December 9 – Former Miners SP Julio Palomo (56-75, 4.51 ERA) inks a 7-yr, $23.52M contract with the Pacifics.
December 11 – L.A. follows up with the addition of ex-SFB INF Jose Cruz (.289, 52 HR, 491 RBI) for 5 years and $16.2M.
December 12 – Pittsburgh acquires SP Matt Moon (52-55, 3.50 ERA) from the Falcons for two prospects.
December 14 – The Titans acquire C Juan Herrera (.260, 91 HR, 376 RBI) and #32 prospect CL John Steuer from the Indians for RF/LF Oscar Mendoza (.264, 92 HR, 472 RBI) and cash.
December 14 – The Bayhawks flip SP Matt Peterson (21-39, 4.78 ERA) to the Miners for INF Mike Moran (.278, 2 HR, 36 RBI) and #17 prospect SP Eli Garcia.
December 23 – The two second-place teams from the CL strike a deal, with Portland sending 3B/SS Adam Downs (.260, 31 HR, 161 RBI) to the Aces for 1B/3B/OF Jesse Stedham (.276, 78 HR, 420 RBI).
December 25 – Seven years and three cities later, 36-year-old ex-SAC 3B/2B Adam Corder (.242, 56 HR, 680 RBI) returns to Boston on a 2-yr, $4.96M contract.
December 26 – The Raccoons pick up former Canadiens SP Josh Weeks (116-123, 3.87 ERA). The 34-year-old southpaw will make $3M over three years.
December 26 – The Pacifics sign ex-BOS CL Jermaine Campbell (30-32, 2.78 ERA, 254 SV) for a single season at $2.88M.
December 29 – In a single day, the Bayhawks blow their second- and two third-round picks away by signing three type A free agents; former Caps SP Lorenzo Viamontes (114-77, 3.52 ERA) gets a 3-yr, $11.76M contract; Crusaders refugee 2B Mario Hurtado (.260, 36 HR, 392 RBI) inks a 4-yr, $16.16M contract; and ex-IND 1B Kevin McGrath (.271, 218 HR, 1,003 RBI) signs for $670k and only one year.

+++

Downs was outright atrocious as a Raccoon. Acquired on June 30 from Sacramento, he was batting .346/.398/.551 when he came in, and everybody knew that was a fluke. For Portland he batted .231/.283/.331, easily lining up in the “we got the very worst out of that guy” category most recently populated with Adam Avakian. It was best for all to get him outta here.

Stedham is a left-handed batter, which is the crucial part of the deal here. We could have had quite a few batters for Downs, like Sacramento’s Tim Stackhouse, but Stedham was the only useful left-handed batter anybody would offer. Subtracting a right-handed infielder and getting a left-handed first baseman made a lot of things around here markedly easier. Now we could platoon Stedham with Maldonado at first base for example. And Stedham needed to be platooned, he was absolutely atrocious against left-handed pitching with a .589 OPS in ’36, and that wasn’t even his worst season in that regard. Maruyama was probably out with this deal, because we didn’t need two right-handed first basemen. Both Stedham and Maldonado could play other positions, with Stedham capable of playing all corner positions. The Aces had occasionally put him into centerfield, but that wasn’t exactly advised.

Stedham will make $1.98M a year through 2039, which is probably too much for what he actually produces, but then again we got so much more for our pitchers, too, given that he was a .357 batter against Bernie Chavez, and a .423 batter against Raffaello Sabre, and – inexplicably! – a .556 batter against Mauricio Garavito …!

Weeks is a 1B solution after I was reluctant to give up a draft pick for another starter. He doesn’t wow you with strikeouts (around 6 K/9 for pretty much his entire career), he walks people, and in ’35 he had a homer spike and was bombed 31 times, leading the league. He’s been through every terrible team in the league, maybe he can blossom on a good one! I know, optimism is for suckers.

But he should be a good, solid back-of-rotation worker, probably sliding into the #4 slot between Sparkes and Ottinger. – Yes, Maud. “Ottie”.

Ottie bobbleheads, Maud? Isn’t that a bit over-ambitious? – At least make sure the promotion takes place before he gets sent down after a 1-5, 5.69 ERA start…

The Weeks signing was the end for Gene Tennis and Tom Miller as far as roster spot ambitions were concerned. Both were assigned to AAA before the year was out.

That left us with the core pen from last year minus Moore, so with Soung, Wise, Prieto, Kulp (who I tried to trade many times, and nobody wanted, not even for charity), Garavito, and David Fernandez. One spot was open, with – on the still-extended roster – three candidates in Hennessy, Citriniti, and Sims. The first and the last could claim long man abilities; Citriniti was most likely going to draw a short stick. Hennessy was out of options, but did we really want four lefty relievers…?

Now, that Bressner move to Boston was not something that I enjoyed seeing. The last thing we needed was a Titans rotation that was even more impenetrable. The Raccoons hadn’t gone after Bressner, who led the league in wins four times despite being on the routinely ****ty Indians, since his K/9 had never been great and had gone own to just 5.3 averaged over the last two seasons. That was not a whole lot for a 30-year-old pitcher. How far would he slide off by the time he was 35?

He had also been a type A free agent, which miraculously Trevino hadn’t been. Not that I was overly protective of a low first-round pick (#21 for 2037) when we were chasing a potential ring, but the overall package just wasn’t right in Bressner’s case. Besides, I had just very recently finally gotten Mrs. Sheila Rosenzweig off my back, I wasn’t looking forward to inviting the next overly protective mother of a Jewish pitcher into my life.

Former Raccoons signing contracts elsewhere? Matt Huf got $446k from the Aces; Nashville signed Casey Moore for $1.72M over two years; Adrian Reichardt joined the Miners for $442k; Fernando Garcia makes it to Dallas for $1.6M;

[Bub13]

First you sign a guy born in Vancouver, now you add one who played for them. Tsk. What is the world coming to.

That range issue at short is ... troubling.

[Westheim]

Originally Posted by Bub13

First you sign a guy born in Vancouver, now you add one who played for them. Tsk. What is the world coming to.

I claim we had pretty decent success with former Elks once they were detoxed and sprayed with perfume for a couple of weeks to get rid of the stench. You may find two examples book-ending our string of retired numbers, and it might have been three if the '97 collapse hadn't mandated the translation of David Brewer to pastures greener.

Originally Posted by Bub13

That range issue at short is ... troubling.

Ah! No problem! This might be our best offensive lineup in decades, they can outscore the occasional hiccup on defense! If there's more 6-5 games rather than 2-1 games it might get the heart rate up a bit.

Though I am still wondering whether we should sign Jarod Howden, the dumb pig, as insurance at first base.

[Westheim]

2037 hit soon enough, and the Raccoons were still trying to tweak the roster around the edges. The pitching staff was more or less settled, we had our catchers, but there was still some wiggle room when it came to bench spots other than Kilmer’s (mostly) and Morales’ (sometimes).

With Stedham, Trevino, Ramos, Myers (hopefully) around the infield, and Hooge, Fowler, and the most cherishable, most adorable, most valuable Manny Fernandez in the outfield, we still had a supporting cast around that included two first base candidates (Maldonado, Maruyama), one-dimensional second-sacker Rich Vickers, two defensively adept, but otherwise useless shortstops in Matt Triolo and Steve Nickas, and finally multi-talented Preston Pinkerton. We had to pick four, or sign someone else entirely, and it was probably safe to assume that at least Rich Vickers was not going to be replaced anymore – we already dropped Tim Stalker after 15 years of service to keep the much younger Vickers in tow.

And while Maruyama was considered largely expendable at this point, the other 23 teams largely thought the same, unless they could drop a bad contract on the Raccoons or some 37-year-old has-been, or both.

+++

January 4 – The Canadiens add a veteran reliever in 32-year-old ex-CIN Tim Zimmerman (38-24, 2.87 ERA, 20 SV), who signs a 3-yr, $5.04M contract.
January 17 – The Stars sign ex-SAC SP Mario Bojorques (77-88, 4.37 ERA) to a 3-yr, $9M deal.
January 19 – Dallas decides that more pitching is better and adds SP Mike Barnett (20-20, 3.68 ERA) from the Falcons. The 25-year-old right-hander costs them only one unranked prospect.
January 31 – Former Bayhawks catcher Matt Dear (.244, 68 HR, 443 RBI) returns to the Crusaders on a 5-yr, $4.55M contract.
February 4 – Reliever Jamie O’Leary (17-33, 4.83 ERA) takes his act from New York to Indianapolis for 3-yr, $2.13M.
February 8 – San Francisco signs ex-LVA SP Matt Diduch (112-91, 3.87 ERA) for one year and $980k.
February 11 – The Miners snatch former Raccoons C Kurt Wall (.287, 31 HR, 238 RBI) for 2-yr, $3M.
February 16 – The Stars add yet more pitching with ex-Loggers SP Paul Metzler (67-103, 4.10 ERA), who inks a 3-yr, $5.1M contract.
February 20 – The Cyclones sign a dark horse, 29-year-old Cuban emigrant LF/RF Juan Brito, to a 5-yr, $9.12M contract. The left-handed Brito is said to be an average-defender at best, but an all-around good hitter with good contact and power.

+++

Alberto Ramos started throwing on February 20, and so far his arm has not yet exploded. Maybe all will be well! We are still waiting on Dave Myers to resume baseball activities as of the 20th, but he should be only a week or so behind Berto, and both should be at 100% by Opening Day, which is late this year on April 6.

Colt Willes (elbow flexor tendon) of course can’t be recovered for most likely all of this season. Those $1.58M go into the fire right away.

Tim Stalker signed with the Cyclones in January, getting a $446k contract for 2037; the Crusaders added Bob Zeltser for $840k; Mark Roberts is still around, signing with the Aces for $434k;

+++

2037 HALL OF FAME BALLOT

It had been about time – in his final year on the Hall of Fame ballot, LF Gil Rockwell finally got the nod and was voted into the hall! He was the only member of the Class of ’37. Often defensively challenged, Rockwell nevertheless was a premier power hitter in the ABL, swatting 412 homers and driving in 1,249 runs in a 13-season career during which he was an All Star six times, *less* than the number of home run titles he crashed himself to – he led the CL with the Knights *seven* years in a row, from 2013 through 2019, always hitting at least 40 with a high of 49. Nobody has ever hit 50 in an ABL season. He also led the league in RBI five times, but never mustered enough batting average to be a triple crown threat. A seven-time Platinum Stick winner, Rockwell played 11 years with the Knights, then added single seasons with the Scorpions and Raccoons before retiring.

ATL LF Gil Rockwell – 10th – 79.4 – INDUCTED
LAP C Errol Spears – 5th – 50.8
??? SP Chris Klein – 3rd – 39.9
SFW SS Jamie Wilson – 2nd – 39.2
CIN 3B Eddie Moreno – 2nd – 30.6
??? CL Jarrod Morrison – 5th – 20.6
CHA 2B Matt Good – 1st – 14.6
??? SP Ernest Green – 4th – 13.3
??? SP Ian Van Meter – 5th – 10.3
NAS C Pat Walston – 6th – 9.6
??? CL Ben Marx – 3rd – 6.6
OCT 2B Emilio Farias – 4th – 5.6
??? 1B Mike Rucker – 1st – 5.6
ATL SS Devin Hibbard – 4th – 4.7 – DROPPED
??? 2B Chris Owen – 1st – 3.7 – DROPPED
SAC C Jaiden Jackson – 1st – 0.7 – DROPPED

Who comes up in the next few years? Pretty good chances next year for Tom Shumway and Dave Garcia, then Chris Sinkhorn the year after that. The 2039 ballot will also have Rich Hereford, but his chances are probably more on the meh side – AND he will be on the ballot as a Gold Sock.

[Westheim]

As the offseason whittled down it became more and more apparent that the Raccoons wouldn’t get another infielder to improve their bench – at least not the way they wanted it. Infielders there were plenty, but the Raccoons needed the right one. A left-handed batting second baseman for example to pair with Vickers if any of the starting middle infielders went down with injury (not that unlikely…). Now, left-handed batters at the keystone aren’t exactly impossible to find. We had one in AAA even, Edgar Barrios. The thing with Barrios was that since being acquired from the damn Elks two winters ago he had mostly sucked in AAA, now was 30 years old, and nobody had any major interest in seeing him on the 25-man roster. He also had an entirely forgettable 38 games with the Raccoons in ’35, batting .184 with 3 RBI in 76 at-bats. Jose Brito was not the answer, since he was a right-handed batter.

The other thing we tried was to trade Maruyama away, but that never got very far. Teams weren’t exactly hell-bent on adding a first baseman with no power to speak of.

If you carried Maruyama, Maldonado, Vickers, and (on most days) Kilmer on the bench, that was four right-handed batters already. The only non-right-handed options left where Nickas and Triolo, and they were a .553 OPS hitter between them. Triolo, for all his defensive agility, had put up -0.1 WAR in 77 games last year.

Left-handed hitters were plenty on the free agent leftovers market in late February, but we needed one capable of playing up the middle, preferably both spots, and then you arrived at people like Victor Ochoa, 29, with a career .472 OPS and no major league exposure since 11 dreadful games with the Thunder in 2034, and overall even less experience than Triolo.

Well, then we can stick with Triolo, right? Or Nickas, doesn’t really matter, they’re both terrible.

What? (looks into the sad, broken-hearted eyes of his two backup shortstops, both twitching their whiskers, before they both traipse out of the room, heads hanging)

I was still trying to get *anything at all* for Maruyama, the .649 OPS first baseman with a full season’s of experience, sprinkled over three years.

Nobody wanted him.

+++

February 28 – The Canadiens sign ex-SFB MR Jeremy Bloedow (21-29, 4.37 ERA, 44 SV) to a 3-yr, $3.5M contract.
March 17 – The Bayhawks trade defensively challenged 30-yr old LF/RF/1B Doug Levis (.258, 82 HR, 278 RBI) to the Falcons for MR Jon Salls (0-1, 2.08 ERA, 1 SV) and a prospect.

+++

Toby Ross joined the Scorpions for $326k; Juan Camps was now on the Titans for $342k;

…and then the winter was over.

[Westheim]

2037 PORTLAND RACCOONS – Opening Day Roster (first set in parenthesis shows 2036 stats, second set career stats; players with an * are off season acquisitions):

SP Bernie Chavez, 28, B:R, T:R (12-12, 3.21 ERA | 58-45, 3.62 ERA) – came off his best career year (3rd in ERA in CL in 2034) by falling apart more or less entirely, despite getting more K/9. His entire 2035 season was a mystery, although we opine that a .352 BABIP behind him at a paw in how things turned out. Then returned to basic decency (and a .276 BABIP) in 2036. 94mph, curve, slider, and the tendency to hang something from time to time with a worst of 24 homers allowed in the 2035 season.
SP Raffaello Sabre, 28, B:L, T:R (9-8, 3.35 ERA | 49-50, 3.72 ERA) – he won’t ever win a strikeout crown, and by now we’re entirely content with having Sabre being a steady bee working away at the opposition and with a little help from his defense he can be a very good pitcher, including pitching meaningless closing day shutouts…
SP Bryce Sparkes *, 29, B:R, T:R (15-13, 3.27 ERA | 50-49, 3.86 ERA) – acquired from the Falcons in a complicated deal, Sparkes has great control, but not so much movement. Think of Mark Roberts, and he already led the league in bombs away in ’36. That won’t get better in this park, but as long as they’re solo homers...
SP Josh Weeks *, 34, B:L, T:L (13-14, 3.92 ERA | 116-123, 3.87 ERA, 2 SV) – free agent acquisition to plug the hole left by the Willes injury. Weeks is more in line with Sabre than anybody else in that he doesn’t get many strikeouts, but can be really productive with the right kind of defense behind him, which the Raccoons unfortunately don’t really have.
SP Jared Ottinger, 24, B:R, T:R (7-7, 4.13 ERA | 7-7, 4.13 ERA) – “Ottie” started strong, then came apart even more forcefully in the last two months of the season, after making his debut in an injury-ravaged rotation in June. Ended up with more walks than strikeouts, but the scouting department says there’s considerable upside, and Maud says we really need the kids’ fan favorite on the roster to sell merch.

MR Travis Sims, 24, B:R, T:R (1-0, 3.97 ERA | 1-0, 3.97 ERA) – fastball, splitter; made his debut late in the 2036 season and beat out Citriniti and Hennessy for the final roster spot. Might do some long man duty if required.
MR Dusty Kulp, 34, B:S, T:R (6-0, 2.92 ERA | 53-50, 3.95 ERA, 71 SV) – the master of meltdowns somehow didn’t lose a game all year long in ’36, which has to be up there in terms of baseball’s inherent wickedness. The Raccoons tried to wiggle out of his final contract year, he tried to wiggle out of his final contract year, neither managed, and no other team would take him...
MR Antonio Prieto, 26, B:R, T:R (5-2, 2.57 ERA | 10-9, 3.31 ERA) – struck out more than 10 batters per nine innings for the second year in a row. Nobody talks about him much, ever, which in case of a righty middle reliever is a good thing.
MR David Fernandez, 30, B:L, T:L (4-1, 3.03 ERA, 1 SV | 23-14, 2.76 ERA, 8 SV) – for getting no love from scouts, Fernandez is a remarkably solid reliever that strikes out roughly a batter per inning and can handle both left- and right-handed batters well. The walks are a bit of a problem, but, eh, lefties, huh?
MR Mauricio Garavito, 35, B:L, T:L (7-4, 2.81 ERA, 1 SV | 31-29, 3.12 ERA, 13 SV) – left-hander with balanced splits that was claimed off waivers by the Bayhawks early in the 2029 season when Jeremy Moesker turned out to be a turd. Has it really been this long?? Signed a new 3-year deal this past fall and will thus hang around a bit longer.
SU Chris Wise, 30, B:R, T:R (4-6, 3.14 ERA, 23 SV | 26-27, 2.68 ERA, 143 SV) – Wise lost the closer’s job for a second and likely final time due to inconsistent performances, especially when compared to eventual Rookie of the Year Yeom Soung. Nobody gets it. He strikes out a guy per inning, he doesn’t walk *a lot* of batters, he almost never gives up homers, but he inexplicably seems to get singled to death an extraordinary amount.
CL Yeom Soung, 32, B:L, T:L (2-2, 0.53 ERA, 27 SV | 2-2, 0.53 ERA, 27 SV) – the established star from Korea, “The Warden”, came, saw, and locked opposing batters up in eighth, then ninth innings in his maiden ABL season, winning Rookie of the Year honors quite handily, as well as the closer’s job for Opening Day.

C Tony Morales, 22, B:L, T:R (.272, 8 HR, 60 RBI | .271, 14 HR, 98 RBI) – has yet to conquer the world, but then again he also has yet to turn *23* (which will happen on April 24). Had a solid half-season debut in ’35, doing above-average work at the plate and behind the dish. Remained productive in a full season, but we still hope for a power outbreak. Will mostly be in a straight platoon with Kilmer, unless the schedule gets quirky.
C Jeff Kilmer *, 25, B:R, T:R (.244, 4 HR, 27 RBI | .244, 4 HR, 27 RBI) – the sophomore was acquired from Oklahoma to be the short end of the platoon with Tony Morales. Has leadership skills, which will sometimes make you forget an 84+ OPS.

1B/RF/3B/LF Jesse Stedham *, 30, B:L, T:R (.285, 13 HR, 59 RBI | .276, 78 HR, 420 RBI) – acquired from the Aces, Stedham is the 38th attempt to find a successor to Kevin Harenberg (first iteration). Right now we’d be merry if he doesn’t become a successor to Kevin Harenberg (second iteration).
2B/3B/SS Enrique Trevino *, 29, B:S, T:R (.333, 3 HR, 60 RBI | .323, 29 HR, 640 RBI) – MAJOR free agency addition, “Cosmo” Trevino was the Capitals’ and Federal League’s answer to Alberto Ramos for all his 10-year career, piling up stolen bases with reckless abandon. Him and Ramos have 1,055 sacks between them (split almost evenly), and both have significant injury histories. If so inclined clutch your rosaries a bit tighter, please.
SS Alberto Ramos, 31, B:L, T:R (.254, 0 HR, 11 RBI | .308, 20 HR, 452 RBI) – And then it happened again. Portland’s goodest boy missed most of the 2036 season with a broken elbow. The offending appendage remains attached though and he’s back at short on Opening Day. He hopes to add to his six stolen base titles, now with competition in-house, while we try to whistle away the decline of his defensive numbers. This is the final guaranteed season of his 8-year contract, with 2038 being a team option.
3B/SS Dave Myers, 31, B:R, T:R (.273, 2 HR, 21 RBI | .284, 41 HR, 375 RBI) – Bob Zeltser’s replacement like Ramos missed most of 2036 to injury, and oh, what could have been… Regardless, he remains a major player in our crowded battle for leadoff honors, and also probably the best defender on the infield...
2B Rich Vickers, 27, B:R, T:R (.257, 9 HR, 59 RBI | .274, 16 HR, 115 RBI) – Vickers remains mostly redundant on the roster, but there’s nothing we can do about that right now…
2B/SS/3B/LF Steve Nickas, 23, B:S, T:R (.238, 1 HR, 10 RBI | .238, 1 HR, 10 RBI) – versatile infielder and quirky bit player that probably shouldn’t be on the roster, but was still preferable to Matt Triolo. As a fake sign of trust in him had his previous number (#52) cut in half, signaling in vain that he belongs.

LF/RF/CF Ed Hooge, 27, B:L, T:L (.281, 12 HR, 54 RBI | .265, 17 HR, 99 RBI) – became a regular due to the multitude of injuries, had a good first half, a not so great second half, but still hangs on to a starting spot. Jesus Maldonado would be a competitor for him and might get all the assignments against lefty pitching.
CF/LF/RF Justin Fowler, 34, B:R, T:R (.261, 27 HR, 86 RBI | .283, 267 HR, 981 RBI) – no regrets about last year’s big acquisition, even though he’s beset by nagging injuries costing him 24 games in each of his first two seasons in Portland. Didn’t win an RBI crown last season, but that was also due to a lack of vigor in the leadoff spots after the Ramos and Myers injuries…
RF/LF/CF Manny Fernandez, 27, B:L, T:L (.326, 19 HR, 90 RBI | .292, 44 HR, 274 RBI) – the Raccoons have a #5 pick that signed a long-term deal *and* became only their third Player of the Year ever? Something’s afoot here. He’ll probably break his legs on Opening Day, tripping over the top dugout step heading out of the bottom of the first. Hits for power, hits for average, fields, runs, and eats astonishing amounts – a true 5-tool player!!
CF/RF/3B/SS/LF/1B Jesus Maldonado, 23, B:R, T:R (.252, 3 HR, 35 RBI | .256, 3 HR, 41 RBI) – has a cup of coffee and a partial season under his belt and has yet to convince anybody he was a hot-pursuit prospect commodity for any good reason. Playing time could be an issue unless injuries take the team apart again.
RF/2B/3B/CF/LF Preston Pinkerton, 31, B:R, T:R (.236, 2 HR, 20 RBI | .258, 4 HR, 66 RBI) – rather bland outfielder, except that he is also the designated emergency pitcher, with a frightening 27 appearances in five years and a 9.77 ERA in 35 innings – the majority of his pitching appearances were in 2032, when the Raccoons couldn’t buy an out if they still had had any credit...

On disabled list:
SP Colt Willes, 30, B:R, T:R (6-4, 3.93 ERA | 58-52, 3.55 ERA) – steady guy for the rotation that never makes much trouble, except when he gets viciously taken apart by injuries. Made only 19 starts in 2036 for injury reasons and is likely to miss the entire 2037 campaign with a torn flexor tendon in his elbow. Is under a guaranteed contract for ’38.

Otherwise unavailable: Nobody.

Other roster movement:
MR Dennis Citriniti, 28, B:R, T:R (1-0, 2.79 ERA | 2-0, 3.81 ERA) – optioned to Alley Cats; run-of-the-mill right-hander that walked 6.5 batter per nine innings and actually lowered his career BB/9 with that in ’36. He’s only pitched 28.1 innings in the majors at this point, and it’s unlikely he’ll ever reach triple digits while with Portland.
MR John Hennessy, 29, B:L, T:L (1-1, 1.13 ERA | 12-9, 3.15 ERA, 2 SV) – waived and DFA’ed; after two injury-riddled seasons the former left-handed stalwart can’t get a spot on the roster anymore against Soung, Garavito, and Fernandez. Unlikely to make it through waivers, though.
1B Chiyosaku Maruyama, 27, B:R, T:R (.255, 5 HR, 41 RBI | .245, 7 HR, 57 RBI) – waived and DFA’ed; disappointment as a batter, having put up zero WAR in almost 600 PA. We don’t particularly care whether anybody takes him.
SS/3B/2B Matt Triolo, 28, B:L, T:R (.197, 0 HR, 12 RBI | .199, 0 HR, 12 RBI) – optioned to Alley Cats; good defender, dismal batter, narrowly lost out for a bench spot to Nickas, when the Raccoons should have planted a proper player in that spot to begin with.

Everybody not mentioned by now has already been waived or reassigned during the offseason.

OPENING DAY LINEUP:

The Raccoons have some switch-hitters again (Trevino, Nickas), although only one of them figures to get a prominent role unless 2037 turns into another Verdun season. There is multiple way to spin the lefty lineup, and ultimately the top three will also get plenty of off days against southpaws (none of them is a true right-handed batter). Myers easily slots into the top spot against southpaw pitching.

Vs. RHP: SS Ramos – 2B Trevino – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Stedham – C Morales – 3B Myers – LF Hooge – P
(Vs. LHP: SS Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 3B Myers – 1B Maldonado – RF Pinkerton – C Kilmer – P)

It’s hard to see Rich Vickers getting meaningful playing time this year.

OFF SEASON CHANGES:

The Raccoons keep being improved in the winter, this time with some shrewd trades AND major free agency acquisitions. While our free agency losses were considerable, either in substance (Rendon) or emotionally (Stalker), the team has been judged to have had the fourth-best offseason in the league with a net gain of 5.8 WAR.

Top 5: Pacifics (+15.7), Titans (+8.9), Miners (+8.6), Raccoons (+5.8), Stars (+3.8)
Bottom 5: Capitals (-4.6), Bayhawks (-5.8), Scorpions (-6.9), Crusaders (-8.0), Indians (-9.5)

PREDICTION TIME:

Last year I declared that we’d repeat our 2035 division crown and that 95 wins were entirely possible. Then the team went out and broke legs and arms and necks from day one (or, Harenberg, on actual day two). And they STILL won 94 games and finished one excruciating game behind the Titans who won their 10th championship. SO CLOSE.

The story of how 2036 became such a ****show is also why I am confident that we are the team to beat even if the Titans added more WAR (a useless stat we use only for convenience) in the winter. The Raccoons would be adding twice as much just by not having another train wreck of a season with the DL.

We have three leadoff batters to pick from, the MVP, a certified slugger, two or three players that could break out big any moment now, a solid (but not great) rotation, a great bullpen – the only dicey thing I saw was the substandard bench (although there were funds left over for a quirky move to add a bat at some point) and the somewhat leaky defense up the middle, which could especially hurt the guys that didn’t pile up strikeouts, which unfortunately we had three of (Sabre, Weeks, Ottie).

The Raccoons win the division, although it will be a battle with the Titans until the very end. But the Raccoons will win it, and they will do so with their second-ever triple-digit wins total! Whaddaya say, boys? A hundred and two??

A hundred and two!

PLAYER DEVELOPMENT:

Last year the Raccoons’ farm remained in 11th place overall with 10 ranked prospects, of which six had been in the top 100. Well, we had shed some talent in that regard, promoting three players to the majors where they remained and thus lost rookie eligibility. This included our top-ranked prospect, Jesus Maldonado, who had been the #10 kid to watch out for prior to ’36. Also no longer eligible where #62 Gene Tennis (who was nevertheless back in AAA after getting his paw caught in the blender, too), and #146 Ottie.

That alone should be enough for a setback, but the Raccoons actually gained a spot to 10th place with their farm system because we brought some new talent up. We now had a full dozen ranked prospects, seven of them in the top 100, and two in the top 30.

18th (+47) – AAA 1B/C Jeff Wilson, 24 – 2034 supplemental round pick by Raccoons
26th (-5) – AA SP Lazaro Cavazos, 22 – 2034 first-round pick by Raccoons
61st (+38) – AA INF Jon Caskey, 23 – 2034 first-round pick by Raccoons
77th (new) – A 2B/3B Jon Loyola, 20 – 2033 international free agent signed by Raccoons
79th (new) – INT SP Nelson Moreno, 18 – 2035 international free agent signed by Raccoons

82nd (new) – A SP Melvin Lucero, 19 – 2036 first-round pick by Raccoons
92nd (new) – AAA CL Francisco Pena, 23 – 2030 international free agent signed by Falcons, acquired in trade with Bryce Sparkes, Daniel Hernandez for Jimmy Wallace, Josh Bulzomi, Josh Livingston
123rd (new) – ML MR Travis Sims, 24 – 2031 tenth-round pick by Raccoons
145th (-2) – AAA OF/2B Cory Cronk, 23 – 2032 third-round pick by Raccoons
176th (-86) – A OF/1B Ivan Cantu, 20 – 2034 international free agent signed by Raccoons

189th (new) – AA CL Zack Kelly, 21 – 2035 fourth-round pick by Raccoons
190th (new) – AAA SP/MR Daniel Hernandez, 24 – 2029 international free agent signed by Falcons, acquired in trade with Bryce Sparkes, Francisco Pena for Jimmy Wallace, Josh Bulzomi, Josh Livingston

Two other ranked prospects from last season are no longer ranked: #199 Vince Lutch exceeded age limits, while #145 Jose Agosto was traded to the Thunder in the Jeff Kilmer deal. He was named the #98 prospect now.

The top 5 overall prospects this year are:

#1 CHA A SP Pablo Vazquez (was #20)
#2 SFB A SS Jorge Gonzalez (was #89)
#3 WAS A RF/LF Eduardo Avila (was #55)
#4 RIC A SP Gabe Blanco (newly drafted)
#5 IND AAA SP Ricky Sanchez (was #2; also was #5 in ’35)

Four fifths of last year’s top 5 were thus turned over. Both #1 VAN Jerry Outram (who won ROTY honors in the CL) and #4 PIT Sergio Barcia spent the majority of the season in the major leagues and were thus no longer eligible.

Dallas’ SP Orlando Leos had a decent season in AA and AAA, but slid from #3 to #8. And last year’s #5, MIL Dan Torri, didn’t hit all that much in single-A and crashed to #39 in this year’s ranking.

Next: first pitch.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (0-0) @ Titans (0-0) – April 6-8, 2037

Back where it all ended last year, the Critters had to make sure they didn’t stumble right out of the gate, especially not against the team where every loss would count double. We had lost 11 of 18 games in 2036 against the Titans, and that had undeniably been the difference in playing in October or watching in agony as they won another ****ing title. This was going to be our year! This was going to be the year of the ring-eyed rats once more!

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (0-0) vs. Rich Willett (0-0)
Raffaello Sabre (0-0) vs. Andy Bressner (0-0)
Bryce Sparkes (0-0) vs. Tony Chavez (0-0)

Southpaw in the third game, while the Raccoons would keep theirs (Weeks) in the shed until the weekend. You know, unless Bernie was blown up for five bombs in the first inning and we needed somebody to eat some really disgusting innings…

Game 1
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Trevino – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Stedham – C Morales – 3B Myers – LF Hooge – P B. Chavez
BOS: SS Gil – 3B Corder – RF M. Avila – LF W. Vega – C J. Herrera – CF Hawthorne – 2B Hansen – 1B Uliasz – P Willett

The Raccoons bravely put three of their sort aboard in the opening inning of the season and left all of them on. Trevino and Fernandez singled, Stedham walked, and ultimately Tony Morales grounded out to Justin Uliasz to render the effort moot. In return Bernie Chavez walked Adam Corder, the other returnee to Boston besides Uliasz, and gave up a 436-foot blast to Willie Vega to settle in a cozy 2-0 deficit… While the Coons stranded Dave Myers and Alberto Ramos on the corners in the top 2nd, the Titans got Antonio Gil on two pitches after Manny Fernandez dropped his foul pop, Gil stole two bases, and scored on Moises Avila’s groundout, 3-0, and by now my knees began to weaken. Not again. Not another disaster start!

No, we did - … we did get the disaster start, complete with an injury to the starting pitcher after four innings. Bernie was lifted for general back pain, Dr. Chung rolled his eyes with great drama over their repeated and persistent lack or hardiness, and the pen sprang into action. With the game a 3-0 write-off (despite out-hitting the damn Bostonians 7-2), Travis Sims got in there for long relief. The Titans got a run off him in the bottom 6th with Willie Vega singling, stealing second more or less unhindered, and scoring on a Juan Herrera single, 4-0. The Coons had their eighth and ninth base hits in the seventh inning, a Sims single to lead off (!) and a Trevino double with one out, putting two in scoring position once again. Fernandez struck out, and Fowler, who was already 0-3 with 3 K, flew out to center for a marked improvement over his season so far.

Top 8th, bases loaded with Morales (nailed), Myers (walk), and Hooge (single), Mike Hugh on the mound, one out, and Rich Vickers would bat for Sims after three innings of relief. He hit the first pitch to center, George Hawthorne made the catch, Tony Morales went for it – and was thrown out at the plate. Nope, it wasn’t meant to be. Nothing ever was. 4-0 Titans. Trevino 3-5, 2B; M. Fernandez 2-4, BB; Myers 2-3, BB, 2B;

Ten … to four. Base hits. Ten. To four.

Ten … to four.

Game 2
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Trevino – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Stedham – C Morales – 3B Myers – LF Hooge – P Sabre
BOS: SS Gil – 3B Corder – RF M. Avila – LF W. Vega – C J. Herrera – CF Hawthorne – 2B Hansen – 1B Uliasz – P Bressner

The former Arrowhead Bressner actually gave up runs in the first inning. Trevino walked, stole second (our first SB of the year), then was doubled in with two outs by Fowler, who himself scored on a 2-out RBI single by Jesse Stedham, making it 2-0 early. Unfortunately, Sabre was crummy and lacked stuff. He also walked a pair and allowed a sac fly in the bottom 2nd, and didn’t get a strikeout on anybody until Uliasz, well past his prime, hacked out in a full count and two outs and with runners on the corners in the fourth, preserving the slim 2-1 lead. The tying run was stranded on third base again in the bottom 5th, in which Antonio Gil hit a 1-out double to left, advanced on a grounder, and then was narrowly stranded when Ed Hooge caught Avila’s drive racing backwards.

Additional Portland offense would be nice, but was hard to come by. Through six the team had only three base knocks, and that included a 2-out Fowler single in that inning. He advanced on a wild pitch, Stedham walked behind him, but Morales floated out to Willie Vega and remained no help whatsoever in ’37. It got better yet in the bottom 7th, still up 2-1, but not for much longer, because here came Dusty Kulp. 2036’s master of disaster had remained undefeated, but here he blew the lead and gave the Titans a 3-2 advantage in spectacular fashion, starting with a 1-out walk to Uliasz. Ivan Vega pinch-hit and doubled after that, putting the tying and go-ahead runs in scoring position. Kulp plated both of them – Uliasz with a wild pitch to Gil, who struck out, and Vega with a wild pitch to Adam Corder, who ended up walking. Then advanced on ANOTHER WILD PITCH. Kulp walked Avila, then was removed to be beaten to ****ing death. David Fernandez replaced him and brought his gas can with him, allowing a 2-run double to Willie Vega, an RBI double to Juan Herrera, then was also sent to the room where players would be beaten to death. Prieto came on and ended the inning with a K to John Hansen (after Berto ****ed a Hawthorne grounded into an error), ending a 5-run nightmare that put the Titans up 2-0 for the season, which was probably justifiably declared over at this point. 6-2 Titans. Fowler 2-3, BB, 2B, RBI;

Oh boy, are we in trouble.

Bernie Chavez required no shooting (yet), being diagnosed with back soreness. He might even make his next scheduled start on Sunday.

…and maybe I’ll live long enough to bother about mundane things like these.

Game 3
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 3B Myers – 1B Maldonado – RF Pinkerton – C Kilmer – P Sparkes
BOS: SS Gil – 3B Corder – RF M. Avila – LF W. Vega – C J. Herrera – CF Hawthorne – 2B Hansen – 1B Uliasz – P T. Chavez

After a few listless innings that you weren’t exactly expecting from the Titans, Willie Vega drew a leadoff walk in the fourth inning that would certainly set them on the road to their 11th championship. George Hawthorne hit a single to left, John Hansen dropped a single between Fowler, Trevino, and good ol’ useless Preston Pinkerton, and Vega scurried home with the game’s first run (because who else would score if not the Titans?). Uliasz struck out, but Tony Chavez reached when Trevino mishandled his grounder, presenting Antonio Gil with three on and two outs, and the Raccoons GM with the first warning signs of an aneurysm. Gil flew out to Pinkerton in a full count, leaving the score at 1-0, although the Raccoons didn’t exactly deserve as much.

Dave Myers then rocked a leadoff jack in the top 5th to get even again. The self-proclaimed 102-win Coons had their first homer of the year, and maybe now things would improve for a maiden win, too? While Jesus Maldonado reached base with a single after that and stole second (he had been caught in his previous attempt in the top 2nd), the bottom of the order flamed out real soon. Top 6th, though, Trevino and Fernandez occupied the corners with a pair of 1-out singles. Tony Chavez nicked Fowler before he could strike out, loading the bags for Myers, who was held to a sac fly on a long looper to a patiently waiting Hawthorne. Maldonado then grounded out, ending the inning. Sparkes needed 101 pitches through six, but was in line for the W, and when Pinkerton and Kilmer reached base to begin the top 7th was used to bunt them into scoring position. So of course Berto struck out, dropping to 1-for-13 in ’37, and Trevino flew out to Avila… Sparkes returned in the bottom 7th, whiffing Uliasz before giving up an 0-2 pitch for a single against CHAVEZ. The Raccoons began to make frantic pitching changes, getting one out from Mauricio Garavito, then the third out from Chris Wise… AFTER he had walked Adam Corder to make it really dicey. Avila flew out to left, stranding a pair in the 2-1 game. Wise pitched a clean eighth, so at least we’d get the ball to Soung in the end. An insurance run would have been nice, but wasn’t in the cards. At least he retired Hansen on strikes, Uliasz on a fly, and Juan Camps… singled. But Antonio Gil …! …walked? Ivan Vega pinch-hit in the #2 hole and ran a full count, grounded to short, Berto to first – ballgame. 2-1 Blighters. Maldonado 2-4; Sparkes 6.1 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 6 K, W (1-0);

Raccoons (1-2) @ Aces (2-1) – April 10-12, 2037

The Raccoons would travel home via Vegas to play some games against the Aces. Or with the Aces. Or something. The Aces had scored 19 runs on the Thunder in their opening series, and how that compared with the Coons’ FOUR against the Titans was not immediately easily explained. But I did know that we had lost the season series, 5-4, in both of the last two years…

Projected matchups:
Josh Weeks (0-0) vs. Drew Johnson (0-0)
Jared Ottinger (0-0) vs. Matt Huf (0-0)
Bernie Chavez (0-1, 4.50 ERA) vs. Chris Crowell (1-0, 2.70 ERA)

Those were all right-handers, but we’d probably mix it up a bit. Everybody should get at least one start in the first week!

Game 1
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Trevino – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Stedham – C Morales – 3B Myers – LF Hooge – P Weeks
LVA: CF M. Hall – 1B Wiersma – 2B Briones – RF Marz – LF Jorgensen – C Kuehn – SS O‘Keefe – 3B Toney – P D. Johnson

Trevino singled, stole second, and came home on Manny Fernandez’ homer to right – the Player of the Year had finally awoken! Ed Hooge followed up with a solo shot in the second inning, reaching unprecedented heights for Portland as the Raccoons for the first time reached THREE runs in ONE game in ’37.

Josh Weeks hit a leadoff double in the fifth, extending a good day to more fields than before. The Aces went down in order the first time through, and while Mike Hall opened the bottom 4th with a single, Ken Wiersma – who had hurt the Critters before – hit into a double play. The top 5th saw Weeks score after a Trevino single and Fernandez’ sac fly. Fowler hit a 2-out single, but Stedham flew out to center, stranding two in a 4-0 game. After another leadoff single by John Marz in the fifth the Aces were still scoreless until they suddenly strung together three 2-out singles from their 1-2-3 batters in the sixth inning. Mario Briones drove in Hall, 4-1. Marz grounded out to short, stranding two. Weeks was retained to bunt Myers to second base in the top 8th, after which Berto landed a 2-out double to liven up a so far miserable season, getting his first RBI and extending the lead to 5-1 before being left on by Trevino. Weeks ran out of steam in the eighth though and was removed after two outs. Dusty Kulp got the ball, and the dismal window licker finished the inning and then got two outs in the bottom 9th before Paul Kuehn singled and Chris O’Keefe homered, creating a save situation quite late. With another righty batter in Mike Toney up, the Raccoons sent Chris Wise, who got a pop, and the Coons were back at .500 … 5-3 Critters. Trevino 2-4, BB; M. Fernandez 3-4, HR, 3 RBI; Fowler 2-4, BB, 2B; Weeks 7.2 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 3 K, W (1-0) and 1-3, 2B;

Kulp’s ERA? Only 32.40, why?

There were also quite a few batters that hadn’t heard their alarm yet. Ramos was 2-for-18 with no walks. Stedham was 1-for-9 with four walks. Tony Morales was 0-for-11, reaching base only by getting nailed.

Game 2
POR: 3B Myers – 2B Trevino – RF M. Fernandez – 1B Stedham – CF Maldonado – LF Hooge – C Morales – SS Nickas – P Ottinger
LVA: CF M. Hall – RF Jorgensen – 2B Briones – 1B Marz – C Kuehn – SS O’Keefe – LF E. Martin – 3B Bennett – P Huf

Ottie was all over the ****ing place. Mike Hall singled off him to begin the bottom 1st, stole a base and scored on two productive outs, while in the bottom 2nd Ottinger drilled O’Keefe, allowed a hard hit to Evan Martin, and somehow still wasn’t scored upon when with runners on the corners Joe Bennett lined out and Matt Huf, a Raccoon so long ago it barely even counted anymore, whiffed. The Coons were rather silent in the early innings and didn’t reach scoring position until the top 4th, then still down by one run. Stedham hit a 1-out single off Huf, and Maldonado hit a gap double in right-center. That put the tying and go-ahead runs both in scoring position, but Ed Hooge grounded out to first base. The runners held, then got company when Morales walked, bringing up Nickas with three on, two gone, and he hit the absolute worst bouncer back to the pitcher to end the inning.

Ottinger remained in trouble, allowing three sharp hits in the fourth and no runs only because the first runner, O’Keefe, was caught stealing before the machine could start to hum really loud. The Raccoons remained a-trailing until Jesse Stedham mashed a leadoff homer to right in the sixth, his first with the Furballs, tying the game at one. Not for long though – Ottinger was finally carved up and in the stupidest possible way, in the bottom 6th. Marz opened with a double, scored on O’Keefe’s rocket single, and Bennett also reached on a 2-out single. They were on the corners for Huf, and Ottinger would at least get rid of HIM, wouldn’t h- … no, he wouldn’t. Huf singled to left, Hooge overran the ball, and it was 3-1 with two in scoring position. Sims replaced the yanked Ottinger, got a K on Mike Hall, and the dismal inning was over, with nine hits in total off Ottinger.

Steve Nickas then hit the double we could have used the last ****ing time around to lead off the top 7th in the 3-1 game. Berto hit for Sims and walked, putting the tying runs on for yet more leadoff batters. Myers singled to center, loading the sacks, and Huf threw a wild one past Kuehn to plate Nickas, 3-2, before completing the walk on Trevino. That brought up the Player of the Year, who shockingly popped out foul on the first pitch and for the first out of the inning, and the Raccoons COULD NOT LET UP NOW. They HAD to turn the game around!! They barely tied it on Stedham’s 1-2 poker to right, which Marz took to second for one out, but couldn’t get back to his base in time to beat out Stedham for a 3-6-3 inning-ender. The tying run scored, but Maldonado grounded out, and it was all a bit ****, really. It yet got worse, with two hits of Antonio Prieto in the bottom 7th, then a pinch-hit, 2-out, 2-run single off David Fernandez by certified old man Barend Kok. Top 8th, Hooge opened with a single! …and Morales hit into a double play. Top 9th, Rich Vickers drew a leadoff walk in the #9 hole against right-hander Steve Bass! And then Myers grounded to short, but Mike Toney had to race in, and had no play – infield single, tying runs aboard. Soon enough Trevino hit into a fielder’s choice, putting them on the corners for the Player of the Year, who flew out to Evan Martin. Vickers went for home, was thrown out, and the game was all over. 5-3 Aces. Myers 3-5; Stedham 2-4, HR, 2 RBI;

Game 3
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Myers – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Stedham – 2B Vickers – LF Hooge – C Kilmer – P Chavez
LVA: CF M. Hall – RF Jorgensen – 2B Briones – 1B Marz – LF Kok – SS O’Keefe – C Wiersma – 3B Downs – P Crowell

The Aces had two on with nobody out twice in the first two innings, first with Hall and Jorgensen singles, then with an O’Keefe single and a walk drawn by Wiersma, and never scored. They made three poor outs, including two K, in the bottom 1st, then had former Raccoons doormat Adam Downs hit into a double play and Crowell get rung up on strikes in the bottom 2nd. Which was dandy given that the Raccoons’ lineup continued to show no vigor whatsoever. They didn’t get a base hit until Berto singled in the top 3rd, and he even stole a base, but was stranded regardless. Bottom 3rd, Hall singled, Briones singled, and John Marz found the gap. Bernie Chavez couldn’t retire anybody, it seemed, and conceded a run on the double and another one on Barend Kok’s groundout before the inning ended eventually…..

While the dismal Raccoons had no hits other than the Ramos single through five, the Aces tacked on a run after Jorgensen’s leadoff double in the bottom 5th, which was also the final inning for a completely useless Bernie Chavez, who allowed eight hits and two walks on the way to certain defeat, down 3-0 after five. When Myers walked with one out in the sixth, Fernandez hit into a double play, and when Fowler drew a leadoff walk off Crowell in the seventh I had no doubt that more such shenanigans would be in order. Yet Stedham singled, bringing up the tying run and surely more agony in Rich Vickers. He ripped and missed once, then ripped and didn’t miss the second time. The ball went about 390 feet to right-center and tied the score at once, a 3-run homer! Hooge and Kilmer remained invisible, but Preston Pinkerton drew a walk when he batted for Sims in the #9 hole. Berto walked. Myers singled – bases loaded for the Player of the Year! And he struck out………..

…and then came the bottom 7th, and Chris Wise. Hall hit a bloop single. Jorgensen walked. Briones singled up the middle. Three on and nobody out, and this wasn’t going to end well, was it? Marz hit a sac fly before Jorgensen was wickedly caught trying to steal third base. Wise walked Kok, was kicked off the mound by the angry pitching coach, and Garavito got a pop from Evan Martin to end the inning, now down 4-3. Fowler was on base again to start the top 8th, then was of course doubled up by Stedham. Garavito did the eighth efficiently enough to give the Aces no cushion in the ninth, which saw Steve Bass against the bottom of the order. Hooge flew out to left. Maldonado batted for Kilmer and struck out. Trevino batted for Garavito and lined out to Downs. 4-3 Aces.

In other news

April 10 – PIT OF Ozzie Burgos (.714, 0 HR, 0 RBI) will be out until late May with a concussion.
April 11 - The Wolves eek out a 16-inning, 4-3 win over the Miners despite falling behind in the top of the 16th.
April 12 – Oklahoma SP Joe Robinson (1-1, 4.11 ERA) pitches a 3-hit shutout against the Canadiens, the Thunder winning 8-0.

FL Player of the Week: SAL Morgan Kuhlmann (.474, 3 HR, 8 RBI)
CL Player of the Week: TIJ Justin Williams (.423, 1 HR, 6 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

Dismal showing in Boston – nothing to see here, please move on. Even more of a dismal showing against the Aces after that. Really, though, like they’d seen a ****ing baseball for the very first time…!

It would surely help if half the lineup didn’t look like they had brain damage. This was supposed to be at least a top 3 boa constrictor type of lineup. And yet, they hit five homers, stole five bases, and somehow scored the third-fewest runs in the first week. How… even… HOW??

Then there’s the 6.46 ERA on the pen that I don’t quite enjoy. The small sample size mantra is all that makes me get on the bus to the airport at all… The Raccoons will start a two-week homestand now, ferrying in every single terrible team in the Continental League: Thunder, Indians, Loggers, Falcons in that order.

In roster news, as expected John Hennessy didn’t make it through waivers. Half the FL East claimed him, but ultimately the Gold Sox had precedence and were awarded his contract. Nobody wanted Maruyama, and nobody was surprised.

Fun Fact: We tie the Falcons for third in homers, and second in stolen bases.

And yet, they scored even fewer runs (13). But their pen is better. Only a 6.30 ERA!

(spices his airline coffee with two pocket-sized bottles of Capt’n Coma)

[Archelirion]

Of bloody course the Titans went 5-1 to start the season. Man I can't wait for them to start tanking...

[Westheim]

Raccoons (2-4) vs. Thunder (3-3) – April 13-15, 2037

Back home, all would be well! Familiar surroundings, the usual cuisine (lots of everything!), and a few lie-down opponents to get the bats warmed up against, hopefully. First in were the Thunder, last year’s worst team by a mile, although the Raccoons had only won the season series 5-4 for the third straight year. They had been largely average in the first week, scoring 4.5 runs per game and allowing 4.0, with almost all the damage on the rotation and next to none on their pen.

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (0-0, 1.50 ERA) vs. Paul Peters (0-0, 23.63 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (1-0, 1.42 ERA) vs. Chris Inderrieden (0-1, 4.50 ERA)
Josh Weeks (1-0, 1.17 ERA) vs. Pablo Correa (1-0, 2.57 ERA)

Correa would be the next left-handed pitcher, but that was Wednesday, and Wednesday was as of yet far away. One day at a time, and in the case of some hitters like Hooge (.167), Berto (.143), and Morales (.zip) maybe one poke at a time…

Game 1
OCT: LF E. Moore – 2B Martell – 1B D. Cruz – CF DeLoach – 3B T. Johnson – C Alicea – RF Heskett – SS A. Rojas – P Peters
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Trevino – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Stedham – 3B Myers – C Morales – LF Hooge – P Sabre

Peters had given up seven earned runs in 2.2 innings in his first start of the year, and before it got much better for him it got worse. A Trevino single and a Fernandez homer put him in a 2-0 hole in the bottom 1st, and his ERA shot up to 27 – although finishing the inning already dropped it to 22.09 again, and the Coons didn’t get any more runs off him any time soon.

Then Sabre left with an injury in the fourth inning. Some pinge in the shoulder, Dr. Chung remarked calmly, while I saw the world end. The Raccoons then got two highly adventurous innings from Antonio Prieto, including a Brian Heskett single to begin the top 5th and a walk issued to Alfredo Rojas right after. The runners were bunted over and stranded after a pop and a lineout. Garavito would nail Danny Cruz to begin the sixth, but again the Thunder would not take advantage. The bottom 6th was opened with a Fowler double off the fence in left, and Peters threw a wild pitch to advance the runner to third with nobody out. Stedham ended up walking, and Myers grounded to third base, advancing Stedham, but not Fowler. An 0-for-16 Tony Morales dropped to 0-for-17 on strikes, and Ed Hooge grounded out to second base. Fowler and Stedham were left on base.

The Thunder got leadoff singles off Garavito from John Alicea and Heskett in the top 7th, and again were too incompetent to roll up the Raccoons. Chris Wise got a double play from Rojas, which helped tremendously on the way out of the inning. David Fernandez pitched in the eighth and continued to be horrendous, allowing a pair of 2-out doubles to Cruz and Elvis DeLoach after beginning with two strikeouts. THAT got Oklahoma on the board; Todd Johnson then flew out to Fowler, the score remaining 2-1. Somehow, Paul Peters was still pitching in the bottom 8th, at least until he gave up a leadoff jack to Fowler, 3-1. The Raccoons got nothing out of reliever Matt Bosse, but at least Yeom Soung got three outs in the top of the ninth… 3-1 Coons. Trevino 2-3, BB; M. Fernandez 1-2, HR, 2 RBI; Fowler 2-4, HR, 2B, RBI; Sabre 3.1 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 4 K; Prieto 1.2 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 3 K, W (1-1);

It’s gonna be a long year, isn’t it?

Sabre was off to the DL with shoulder soreness, because that was exactly what we needed – injuries. He was expected back in early May.

Dennis Citriniti was called up to reinforce the bullpen for at least a few days, although the schedule allowed the Critters some wiggle room. Thursday AND next Monday were both off – we thus didn’t need another starter until the following weekend.

We DID need more than three runs in a game more often than one out of seven contests, though, for everybody’s sanity.

Game 2
OCT: 3B T. Johnson – 2B Martell – RF Celaya – 1B D. Cruz – C J. Wood – CF DeLoach – LF Nuno – SS A. Rojas – P Inderrieden
POR: 2B Trevino – 3B Myers – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Stedham – SS Ramos – C Morales – RF Maldonado – P Sparkes

Singles by Al Martell, Lorenzo Celaya, and Jimmy Wood piled up for a run in the top 1st before Elvis DeLoach struck out in a full count, automatically meaning that we’d need all we had just to tie the game… The bottom 1st began with a Trevino single in the leadoff spot, and Myers walked, so maybe something was cooking. Manny lined out to Celaya, which was unlucky, but Fowler dropped a single into center that allowed the dashing Trevino to score. Groundouts by Stedham and Ramos then ended the inning… The Thunder had two on in the top 2nd, but stranded those, while the Raccoons got two on in the bottom 2nd through no business of their own. Tony Morales was clumsily walked to begin the inning. Maldonado popped out unhelpfully, and Sparkes’ bunt was then thrown away by Jimmy Wood for two bases, putting runners in scoring position with one down. Trevino promptly fouled out behind home plate and Myers flew out to DeLoach, and they were just disgusting to watch.

Despite another two Thunder aboard in the top 3rd, as in the second only reaching with two outs, the Coons took the lead from the 1-1 tie. Fowler hit another homer in the bottom 3rd, and then Berto legged out an infield single with two outs. Tony Morales broke the spell with a double to left, plating Ramos to make it 3-1, or in other words, ENOUGH. The Thunder wiggled out with an intentional walk to Maldonado and the third out being made by Sparkes, who was already on 58 pitches for all the goddamn traffic. The Thunder had two more singles (Rojas, Johnson) in the fourth, making it eight in total in a game that went like ****ing glue, and got two on in the fifth as well when Wood was nailed and DeLoach singled, all with one out. Federico Nuno flew out to left, and Rojas was robbed near the fence by Maldonado to take care of that particular terminal danger. In between the agony there was all the little things that made you hate your players, like Stedham lining out to the pitcher on a 3-0 pitch in the bottom 5th. I think we can erase “Steady Jesse” from the list of possible nicknames (dramatically strikes it out on his clipboard)

Sparkes was replaced after a Todd Johnson single with one out in the sixth. David Fernandez got out of the inning, then bunted Maldonado to second base in the bottom 6th, from where Trevino scored him with a single, 4-1. A Myers single put them on the corners, but Johnson made a diving catch on a Fernandez liner to end the inning. Fernandez would log six outs on just 16 pitches, despite whiffing three, which was a marked improvement from his first few outings. With five outs left and the bottom of the order up for Oklahoma, the Coons sent Dusty Kulp to complete the eighth, which didn’t happen. Rojas singled, Johnson hit a 2-out double, more agony. With lots of lefty bats in the Thunder order, Yeom Soung was called out for a 4-out save and struck out Martell to complete the eighth, and gave up only one hit in the ninth on the way to getting the Coons back to .500 … 4-2 Raccoons. Trevino 3-5, RBI; Fowler 3-4, HR, 2 RBI; D. Fernandez 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Kulp’s ERA could still be mistaken for a room temperature readout in both degrees Celsius and Fahrenheit…

Game 3
OCT: 3B T. Johnson – RF Nuno – 1B D. Cruz – C J. Wood – 2B Hughes – LF DeLoach – CF E. Moore – SS Martell – P Correa
POR: 3B Myers – SS Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Maldonado – 2B Vickers – RF Pinkerton – C Kilmer – P Weeks

Offense disappeared entirely by Wednesday. Through five innings, Weeks whiffed five and allowed two hits, and the Raccoons’ batters did even less, amounting to just one base hit. Correa walked Fowler and Maldonado with two outs in the bottom 4th, but Vickers flew out to center, and in the bottom 5th Pinkerton drew a leadoff walk, but was ignored by Kilmer and then doubled up on a terrible bunt by Weeks. Trevino hit a 1-out double in the bottom 6th that looked vaguely like a scoring opportunity, as I explained to Cristiano Carmona, who was still very young and unlikely to have seen one in half a lifetime around this ramshackle baseball team. Fernandez flew out, Fowler walked, but Maldonado zinged a ball up the middle and into shallow left, very obviously uncatchable and allowing Trevino to come around to score the game’s first run. Vickers then lined out into Correa’s pocket, because there was no god and there never would be.

Somehow the Thunder continued to not score even when Jimmy Wood opened the seventh inning with a double to right, and while the former Condor Andy Hughes grounded out, DeLoach even hit a single to put them on the corners. Popout, strikeout, maybe even a shutout! But if Weeks wouldn’t get a bunt down soon – he failed again in the bottom 7th – he might not live to see the end of the goddamn shutout!! Somehow Myers and Trevino reached base with two outs in the inning, adding themselves to the earlier arrival, Jeff Kilmer. This loaded the sacks for Manny Fernandez, the source of Manny an offense in the previous season. He flew out to Nuno, who then reached on an uncaught third strike against Prieto with two outs in the eighth. Cruz grounded out to strand that runner. Bottom 8th, leadoff single for Fowler off Bobby Valencia, then a Maldonado double, putting two in scoring position with nobody out. Stedham batted for Vickers and was walked intentionally. Berto batted for Pinkerton, drew enough junk for a bases-loaded walk, and made it 2-0. Kilmer and Morales then both got a stab at sacks-full, less-than-two-drowned, and neither got a run home. Kilmer whiffed, and Morales popped out while hitting for Prieto. Nobody hit for Myers, who flew out to Nuno. (hits both fists on the table in blind rage)

Then came the ninth. Wise got the assignment with two righty batters leading off and Soung having already logged seven outs in the series. Jimmy Wood promptly hit a leadoff double, leading to more despair in the GM’s office, and Maud had to talk me down off the top shelf of the trophy case, in which there was much room still after all these years. Hughes popped out, and then Soung entered after all, because if you want to have a job done WELL… also, those were all left-handed batters coming up. Celaya popped out, Heskett singled, putting the tying runs on the corners, but Al Martell popped out to Berto at short, and that sealed the sweep. 2-0 Blighters. Trevino 3-4, 2B; Fowler 1-2, 2 BB; Maldonado 2-3, BB, 2B, RBI; Weeks 7.1 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 6 K, W (2-0);

If they ever face a good team again…

Raccoons (5-4) vs. Indians (4-5) – April 17-19, 2037

The Arrowheads ranked 10th in runs scored, and thus one spot ahead of the Raccoons. They had allowed the third-fewest runs, while the Raccoons were one spot ahead of them in that category. It looked like another series of misery against suffering. Last year we had won 12 of 18 games against Indy.

Projected matchups:
Jared Ottinger (0-0, 4.76 ERA) vs. Mitch Brothers (1-0, 0.00 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (0-1, 5.00 ERA) vs. Arnie Terwilliger (1-1, 1.15 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (2-0, 1.54 ERA) vs. Mike Hurley (0-1, 4.15 ERA)

Right, left, right, and probably two and a half runs in total, all of them unearned.

Game 1
IND: C E. Thompson – 2B Schneller – 3B Hutson – CF Baron – LF Garbinski – RF O. Mendoza – 1B Acor – SS D. Serrato – P Brothers
POR: 2B Trevino – 3B Myers – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Stedham – SS Ramos – C Morales – RF Maldonado – P Ottinger

Ottie started with two walks, then was already yelled at by the pitching coach. Dan Hutson hit into a 6-4-3, John Baron struck out, and the Indians didn’t score after all in the first. The Coons went up 1-0 in the bottom 1st on a Myers walk, Manny’s single, and Fowler sac fly. The Indians responded with both Josh Garbinski and Dustin Acor reaching on infield singles in the top 2nd, then hit into another double play with Dave Serrato. Three straight 2-out singles (…) by Dan Schneller, Dan Hutson, and John Baron then plated the tying run in the top 3rd before Garbinski lined out to Trevino.

The Raccoons threatened to remain atrocious; Fowler and Stedham reached base to begin the bottom 4th, but Berto tried to hit into a double play. He legged out the return throw by Serrato, thus putting runners on the corners for 1-for-22 wonder Tony Morales, who lined out to Hutson before Maldonado flew out to center… The third and probably final base hit for Portland in the game was an Ottinger single in the bottom 5th, leading off even, which at least made the screaming kiddos happy even beyond Dave Myers’ inevitable inning-murdering double play grounder. Ottinger held out through that disappointment to cobble seven innings of 1-run ball on 107 pitches together, which wasn’t shabby, but probably wasn’t going to get him a decision even after the bottom 7th. Berto grounded out. Morales grounded out. Maldonado homered to right so unexpectedly it took me ten seconds to burst into lurid screams.

Not that the feeling lasted… Prieto was out for the eighth, got two outs, then allowed a single to Baron. Garavito was sent to face the left-handed Garbinski, the Indians sent Brent Rempfer instead, and Garavito got rempfed for 370 feet to left, flipping the score, 3-2. An offensive reaction to this setback by the Coons was not expected, and didn’t occur in the bottom 8th, where Fowler drew a 2-out walk and that was that. Berto opened the ninth with a single off Tim Thweatt though, then raced to third when Morales also singled – with an asterisk, because he should have been retired by then, Jeremy Leftwich having dropped a foul pop of him. Instead of Berto on first and one out, the Coons had the tying run at third, the winning run on first, and nobody out with Maldonado coming up, with Steve Nickas running for Tony Morales. And then, nothing moved again. Thweatt struck out one, struck out two, and then nailed Trevino. Myers was the last straw then, with three on and two outs. He popped out to Serrato. 3-2 Indians. Fowler 0-1, 2 BB, RBI; Hooge (PH) 1-1; Ottinger 7.0 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 5 K and 1-2;

Where did it all go so wrong? Say?

(waits for Honeypaws to answer)

Game 2
IND: C E. Thompson – 2B Schneller – RF Leftwich – 3B Hutson – 1B Caraballo – CF Baron – LF Garbinski – SS D. Serrato – P Terwilliger
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Maldonado – 2B Vickers – RF Pinkerton – C Kilmer – P Chavez

Bernie struck out four against one base hit the first time through, and the Raccoons’ offense was really just as bad. Garbinski opened the scoring with a fourth-inning homer, and the Raccoons looked beaten right at that point. They sat on one base hit off Terwilliger, who had been such easy pickings as a rookie, but now dazzled them every time. Well, at least until he ran into Jeff Kilmer, who romped him for a leadoff jack in the bottom 6th. That made it 1-1, and that was indeed all that was going on in this game. Berto hit a single later in the inning, which led nowhere, and Chavez gave up a double to Tomas Caraballo in the following half-inning, which was swiftly followed by a dead fastball in the middle of the plate hit to essentially blind John Baron, but those ones he could just FEEL coming, and he hit that fastball 390 feet to left. 3-1 Indians, ballgame. Right?

Maybe. Nothing good happened in the seventh, but in the eighth the Raccoons got Pinkerton on with a single, his first hit of the year, and while Kilmer popped out, Dave Myers hit a double in the #9 hole, batting for the right-handed saboteur in the pen. That put the tying runs in scoring position with one out, which had to count as a chance even with THIS team, and maybe the Arrowheads would make an error to aid them. Berto flew out to center, which turned into a sac fly, with Dustin Acor hurting himself on the throw and being replaced with Oscar Mendoza. Trevino then popped out, stranding the tying run. Travis Sims allowed a single to Hutson in the top 9th, then was yanked for David Fernandez to pitch the inning instead. The Raccoons were still down by one run into the bottom 9th, and there was Thweatt again. Manny grounded out, but Fowler walked, bringing up the winning run in Maldonado, and while we had the urge to have Jesse Stedham pinch-hit, he was much better invested in Vickers’ spot. All Maldonado had to do was to not hit into a double – grounder to short, toss to second, toss to first, late. GODDAMNIT. How is Stedham supposed to walk us off if the game is already over?? Stedham did bat for Vickers. And he fouled out. 3-2 Indians. Myers (PH) 1-1, 2B;

(sits slumped over the desk, with an empty bottle toppled in the middle of the room)

Game 3
IND: C E. Thompson – 2B Schneller – RF Leftwich – 3B Hutson – 1B Caraballo – CF Baron – LF O. Mendoza – SS D. Serrato – P Hurley
POR: 2B Trevino – 3B Myers – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Stedham – SS Ramos – C Morales – LF Hooge – P Sparkes

The Coons got two walks (Trevino, Fowler), a double (Manny), and zero runs in the bottom 1st – Trevino had already been caught stealing by the time Fernandez came to the plate. Berto drew a leadoff walk in the bottom 2nd, did steal second successfully, and then came around on a double smacked by Ed Hooge, marking the first entry on the scoreboard. Probably also the last one; Hooge was at least already stranded by Sparkes and Trevino.

Manny ripped a triple with one down in the bottom 3rd. A wild pitch got him across to score, 2-0, which was very kind, since I had no faith in any part of the Raccoons’ lineup right now. Fowler grounded out to the left side, but Stedham hit a 2-out single. Two down, Berto walked on four pitches, Morales walked in a full count, and Ed Hooge, with three aboard took three pitches to strike out. – Well, I don’t know, Maud, what AM I supposed to do but behead Ed Hooge bobbleheads??

Hurley walked SEVEN in five innings, which still didn’t result in a major offensive outburst. The 2-0 lead was then summarily blown in the sixth inning with singles by Elliott Thompson, who was forced out by Dan Schneller, Jeremy Leftwich, and then doubles by Hutson and Caraballo that gave the Indians a 3-2 lead AGAIN. Sparkes walked Baron, then got a double play turned by Berto on a sharp Mendoza grounder. Sparkes was hit for the following half-inning, where nothing good happened as per usual. The bottom 7th saw Jorge Villegas jr. on the mound. Manny led off and rushed another triple into the corner in leftfield. Now, this was the tying run on third base and nobody out, so we’d probably see a show in not scoring that guy that would involve up to five hapless Raccoons. Fowler struck out. Stedham grounded out on the infield and Fernandez held. Ramos flew out to center. (crushes desk with both fists again) YOU ****ING ***HOLES!!

It was 5-2 in the eighth then with Brent Rempfer hitting his second pinch-hit, 2-run homer off Mauricio Garavito in the series. But they sure wouldn’t go down without teasing first – Alan Mays allowed a single to Myers to begin the bottom 9th, then a homer to Fernandez. Too bad that only restored the 1-run gap before the Raccoons could go strikeout, groundout, flyout. 5-4 Indians. M. Fernandez 4-5, HR, 2 3B, 2B, 2 RBI; Morales 1-2, 2 BB, 2B;

In other news

April 14 – DEN SP Miguel Alvarado (2-0, 0.53 ERA) 2-hits the Blue Sox in a 10-0 rush. He walks four and strikes out eight batters.
April 15 – NYC 1B Kumanosuke Henderson (.167, 1 HR, 1 RBI) is out for two weeks after being (badly) scratched by a cat.
April 15 – The Knights get 1B Justin LeClerc (.176, 1 HR, 2 RBI) from the Wolves for RF/LF Matt Porter (.200, 0 HR, 0 RBI).
April 17 – Pittsburgh trades 2B/SS Jim McKenzie (.270, 1 HR, 6 RBI) to the Scorpions for OF Adrian Wade (.000, 0 HR, 0 RBI in 4 AB), which looked like a salary dump from the outset.
April 17 – Canadiens rookie SP Matt Sealock (1-1, 3.95 ERA) pitches a 3-hit shutout against the Titans in his second career start. Vancouver wins 4-0.
April 18 – OCT SP Paul Peters (1-1, 4.82 ERA) whiffs six in a 3-hit shutout over the Knights, who go down 6-0.

FL Player of the Week: CIN LF/RF/1B Dick Oshiita (.442, 3 HR, 7 RBI), going .464 (13-28), 2 HR, 6 RBI
CL Player of the Week: VAN OF Jerry Outram (.350, 2 HR, 10 RBI), going .458 (11-24), 2 HR, 10 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Now that we’ve been emotionally torched by the Indians, and almost last in offense in the league… The team has scored more than three ****ing runs three times all season. When they score more than three runs they are a .667 team. Well, yeah, that’s not ****ing helping us anything.

Rarely have I seen a team so much less than the sum of its parts. They are hitting .233, which is appalling. They are however tied for second in homers, which nobody saw coming. Near the top in steals. And yet, no offense. None. A ****ing 2.66 runs per game.

Even Capt’n Coma isn’t helping anymore!

Enrique Trevino reached 2,000 career hits with his seventh-inning single on Wednesday. Now, less than 1% of those hits had come with the Raccoons, but we still feel obligated to give out some badly dyed commemorative t-shirts hastily sewn together in one of Nick Valdes’ clothing factories in Mexico.

I hope the kids make the sleeves equal size this time!!

Fun Fact: Brent Rempfer is hitting .800, 4-for-5, with two homers against Mauricio Garavito.

You don’t say.

[DD Martin]

On the bright side your only 1/2 game back of Boston. Also wondering why this team can’t get out of the gate a bit better the last few seasons