Portland Raccoons (ABL)

[Westheim]

Raccoons (26-36) @ Pacifics (32-30) – June 10-12, 2052

The Coons took their 7-game losing streak and 4-18 run to L.A. then to get flogged by the Pacifics there. That club was fourth in their division, tenth in runs scored in the FL, and fourth in runs allowed, with a -19 run differential. The funny thing probably was that the Coons still had a +4 run differential – SOMEHOW. The only notable injury for the Pacifics was outfielder Matt Diskin, who had been on triple crown course (.373, 10 HR, 36 RBI) before messing up a knee the month before. The Pacifics were the team we had our all-time best regular season record against (.583), and the Coons had won the last three matchups, each time two games to one, including in the last two years.

Projected matchups:
Seisaku Taki (5-5, 3.04 ERA) vs. Isaiah Mowatt (0-1, 1.38 ERA)
Rafael de la Cruz (4-4, 3.54 ERA) vs. Jim Reynolds (8-3, 2.67 ERA)
David Barel (6-5, 3.14 ERA) vs. Roberto Oyola (5-3, 4.04 ERA)

A left-handed spot starter to begin the week, then two right-handers. Mowatt had led the FL in losses last year, going 9-18 with a 5.08 ERA in 32 games (28 starts). This would be only his second start this year.

Game 1
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – LF Crum – RF Glodowski – C Suggs – 3B DeMarco – 1B Maldonado – P Taki
LAP: LF J. Shaw – SS B. Andrews – 1B S. Rodrigues – C Monaghan – 2B S. Larsen – 3B Massey – CF Caswell – RF Lindauer – P Mowatt

Matt Waters doubled on the first pitch of the week and was then stranded in scoring position on ten more. Shane Larsen hit a double into right-center off Taki in the second inning, then gained a base on Nate Massey’s grounder. Noah Caswell grounded hard to right, but Maldo made a lunging play, and got up, and tossed to Taki in time to get the runner, AND didn’t even break a hip doing so…! Neither team seemed inclined to score, as these were already half the total hits piled up through five innings, and all that the Coons managed.

But the Coons’ second hit of the game gave them the lead in the sixth inning. Maldo drew a leadoff walk, but couldn’t beat Mowatt’s throw to second base on Taki’s sub-standard bunt. Waters walked as well, pushing the pitcher to second base, and both scored when Lonzo shot a triple into the left-center gap. Pucks’ massive homer to center then immediately extended the lead to 4-0, and the Coons had the bags full in the sixth inning against right-hander Luis Ortiz. Suggs reached on an error by Larsen, DeMarco walked, and Maldo singled, bringing up Taki with three on and no outs. Taki whiffed, Waters popped out, but Lonzo came through again and singled through the left side to plate two unearned runs. Pucks then narrowly missed another homer to left, flying out to Joshua Shaw at the fence instead to end the inning.

Then the Pacifics scored a run in the bottom 7th that didn’t seem to matter much at the time, but was nevertheless annoying to witness. Massey doubled off Taki with one out, advanced on a grounder, and scored on a 2-out wild pitch, 6-1. Oh well. Still up by five, right? Taki only got two more outs and worked himself into a bases-loaded jam in the bottom 8th, although Suggs also contributed by putting on Shaw with catcher’s interference. Salvatore Rodrigues batted with Bill Cardoza, Shaw, and Brent Andrews aboard and one out, but was held to a sac fly by Lillis. The Coons then went straight to Hitchcock in a double switch that removed Glodowski and entered Mikio Suzuki in center while shuffling half the position players around. Eric Monaghan grounded out to short, ending the inning… and then Hitchcock loaded the bags with nobody out in the bottom 9th. Larsen singled. Massey singled. Noah Caswell walked. Nobody out, tying run in the box in Jeremy Lindauer. A grounder to short, Lonzo, Waters, Crum, double play, while a run scored, which was Hitchcock’s problem at this point; at least the tying run was no longer in the box as left-handed Angelo Ortiz pinch-hit. He flew out to Maldo, and the Coons’ losing streak ended. 6-3 Raccoons. Lavorano 2-4, 3B, 2B, 4 RBI; Taki 7.1 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 4 K, W (6-5);

Game 2
POR: SS Lavorano – 3B Crispin – LF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – C Suggs – 2B DeMarco – RF Rivera – CF Suzuki – P de la Cruz
LAP: LF J. Shaw – SS B. Andrews – 1B S. Rodrigues – C Monaghan – 2B S. Larsen – 3B Massey – CF Caswell – RF Cardoza – P J. Reynolds

Shaw reached on a DeMarco error in the bottom 1st, stole second, and scored on two productive outs to make an attempt to start a new losing streak for the Coons, and while Sean Suggs homered the score level again in the following half-inning, Shaw hit a leadoff single his next time up in the bottom 3rd, stole second base again, and came in on productive outs *again*. Do you see that, boys? Productive outs!!

Suggs had a productive out in the fourth inning then, tying the score again with a sac fly to left after Pucks singled and Crum doubled to set up camp in scoring position, but DeMarco grounded out, remaining essentially useless. The Pacifics then missed their turn to score again in the bottom 5th, but so did the Coons in the top 6th. Crispin and Pucks were in scoring position in that inning with two outs for Suggs, but he flew out to center, although Caswell left the game after stretching awkwardly for a shoestring catch. Victor Flores replaced him.

Through five, things went overall quite smoothly for Raffy, who allowed only two hits, then lost cohesion in the sixth inning. He suddenly ran three full counts, walked one and whiffed two, but his pitch count exploded from “might be a complete game” to “double barrel”. He walked Massey and whiffed Flores to begin the seventh, but hit 99 pitches and was replaced as his composure had reached the point where he hissed at the baseballs. Paul Miles – with Sencion’s demise promoted to more than just garbage innings duty – retired two to get out of the inning, and also got rid of the 1-2-3 batters in the eighth without issue. Suggs nearly hit a tie-breaking homer in the ninth inning, but there weren’t any points for “nearly”, and the game remained tied at two. Crisler walked a batter in the bottom 9th, but the Pacifics remained on two hits and the game went to extras, but it wouldn’t be in extras for long. The Coons sent Mike Snyder into the bottom of the 10th, and he walked Cardoza, nicked Shaw, and gave up a 2-out walkoff double to Salvatore Rodrigues. 3-2 Pacifics. Puckeridge 3-4; DeMarco 2-4; de la Cruz 6.1 IP, 2 H, 2 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 5 K;

This was the first game this year in which Matt Waters did not appear. Lonzo was the last everyday player on the team after already playing in all 162 games last season.

Caswell went to the DL with an oblique strain after the game.

Another roster change came from a trade the Pacifics made with the damn Elks, who sent 1B Mark Cahill (.227, 1 HR, 7 RBI) to L.A. in exchange for Joshua Shaw (.337, 1 HR, 14 RBI) and a prospect.

Game 3
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – LF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – C Suggs – CF Suzuki – RF Rivera – 3B Sivertson – P Barel
LAP: RF S. Rodrigues – LF Cardenas – CF Lindauer – SS B. Andrews – 3B Massey – C A. Ortiz – 1B Romano – 2B S. Larsen – P Oyola

Cahill reportedly didn’t arrive in time for this game, but maybe the Coons would lose even without him. The Pacifics sure put runners on the corners on Massey and Ortiz hits in the second inning, and that with nobody out. Todd Romano whiffed, and Shane Larsen shot a bouncer to Lonzo for a double play, though, and they didn’t score. The Coons did, though, after Mitch Sivertson hit a leadoff single in the third inning, and they made a dog’s dinner out of that. Barel couldn’t get the bunt down, Sivertson was then caught stealing on a high 1-2 pitch, and then Oyola ****** the at-bat into a walk for Barel with another two grossly missing pitches. Matt Waters, somewhat annoyedly, then homered to dead center, 2-0. Barel would then return the favor and walk Oyola to begin the bottom 3rd, but somehow that didn’t lead to run(s) for the Pacifics and/or my head exploding.

The Coons added on, even – Suggs in the fourth and Waters again in the fifth pounded solo homers off Oyola, who was hit for in the bottom 5th. Luis Ortiz replaced him, but the right-hander allowed singles to the 3-4-5 batters for three on and no out against the blackout part of the Coons lineup. Suzuki hit a sac fly to center, 5-0, and Oscar Rivera hit into a double play to remain entirely ******* useless. The Coons didn’t score in the sixth, but Suzuki got another RBI in the seventh, singling home Pucks, who had knocked a leadoff double in the inning. Rivera ended that inning with a flyout to center. Barel all the time clicked batters away, but couldn’t get through the game for pitch count reasons. Rodrigues doubled off him with one out in the eighth, which in itself wouldn’t have ended Barel’s day, but that was on his 111th pitch, and the Raccoons brought out Justin Johns, who stranded the runner with grounders to short from both Dave Cardenas and Jeremy Lindauer. But that didn’t mean the pain was over. No, no, Mike Snyder managed to turn a 6-0 lead into a nailbiter in the ninth inning. He got one out, then walked Massey, nailed Angelo Ortiz, and walked Romano again. Exit Snyder, enter Crisler, who got the second out with a run-scoring grounder to first by Shane Larsen, but then walked Vic Flores. Rodrigues then singled sharply up the middle, plating a pair. Exit Crisler, enter Hitchcock, who graciously and considerately retired Cardenas on a grounder to short. 6-3 Raccoons. Waters 3-5, 2 HR, 3 RBI; Puckeridge 2-4, 2B; Suggs 2-4, HR, RBI; Suzuki 2-3, 2 RBI; Barel 7.1 IP, 7 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 8 K, W (7-5);

Next, the Loggers, who were the last team the Raccoons won a series from before barely outlasting the Pacifics’ rally capabilities.

They would face the Loggers without Mike Snyder, whose 6.8 BB/9 was finally too much to bear any longer, with Ryan Harmer being brought up for his major league debut. Harmer, 24, had come over with Johns from the Thunder last winter.

Raccoons (28-37) vs. Loggers (31-36) – June 14-16, 2052

The Loggers were two games ahead of the Coons (gulp!) while being fourth in runs scored and 11th in runs allowed, with a -25 run differential. Their rotation was eh, and their pen was a like an orphanage, sad to look at in the best of times, but now brightly ablaze with a 5.51 ERA. We had taken three of four from them earlier this year. This series would be interrupted by the draft on Saturday, so I would not be here for the middle game; thusly I engineered Wheats being moved up into the opening game, so I would spare myself seeing Dixon impaled again. I would also not see the return of Juan del Toro, who was eligible to leave the DL by Saturday.

Projected matchups:
Jason Wheatley (1-0, 2.15 ERA) vs. Josh Costello (5-6, 4.67 ERA)
Matt Dixon (0-1, 8.10 ERA) vs. Ryan Clements (4-3, 3.64 ERA)
Seisaku Taki (6-5, 2.99 ERA) vs. Angelo Munoz (7-3, 2.76 ERA)

The Loggers only had righty starters. For Sunday, they had a choice between Munoz and Noel Groh (2-7, 4.45 ERA), who both had pitched in a double header on Wednesday and would both be on short rest, or a spot starter.

Game 1
MIL: LF Sayre – CF Steinbacher – C C. Thomas – SS Z. Suggs – 1B Callaia – 3B K. Leon – RF C. Lowe – 2B R. Lopez – P Costello
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – LF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – C S. Suggs – CF DeMarco – RF Rivera – 3B Crispin – P Wheatley

The Coons batted through the order in the first inning despite initially making two outs. Pucks then walked and scored on singles by Crum and Sean Suggs. DeMarco walked again, and Oscar Rivera came through for a 2-run double to left. Ed Crispin drew another walk, but Wheats grounded out to second base to strand a full set, then got taken deep right away by Zach Suggs, which sugged. Another homer to right by Craig Sayre narrowed the score to 3-2 by the third inning, but Wheats added another run himself in the bottom 3rd, being brought up after an intentional walk to Crispin with DeMarco on second base and two outs. This time Wheats got a grounder past Ricky Lopez and into center for an RBI single. Waters then banged an 0-2 pitch into the right-center gap, but not past Chris Lowe, who nastily shagged the ball in full sprint. Lonzo singled to start the home fourth, stole his 25th bag, and scored on Pucks’ single past a diving Gaudencio Callaia, 5-2. Pucks also stole second base off Chris Thomas, then scored when Sean Suggs singled to center.

Wheats pitched into the eighth while the next few innings passed briskly with few runners. He nicked Lowe to begin the eighth, whiffed Lopez, and then drew Shuta Yamamoto as pinch-hitter. That would be his final batter, we decided, with lefty Craig Sayre looming and he had already taken Wheats deep once. Well, Yamamoto also took Wheats deep, narrowing the score to 6-4 again, while I was spitting blood. YAMAMOTO!!

Lillis worked out of the inning, and Matt Waters ripped a homer off lefty David Fox in the bottom 8th to gain a run again. Sivertson batted for Lonzo and singled, but was doubled up by Pucks to end the inning. Hitchcock then came within a strike of a 1-2-3 ninth, but nicked Callaia with a 1-2 pitch. Kenny Leon ended the game grounding out then. 7-4 Raccoons. Sivertson (PH) 1-1; Puckeridge 2-4, BB, RBI; Suggs 2-4, 2 RBI; Crispin 0-1, 3 BB;

A 2-run double notwithstanding, Oscar Rivera failed to impress, going 1-for-13, and was returned to AAA as Juan del Toro was activated on Saturday.

Game 2
MIL: LF Sayre – CF Steinbacher – C C. Thomas – SS Z. Suggs – 1B Callaia – 3B K. Leon – RF de Lemos – 2B R. Lopez – P Clements
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – C S. Suggs – 3B DeMarco – RF Maldonado – P Dixon

Chris Thomas singled and Zach Suggs homered to left in the first inning, which sugged, and which led us to keep looking for yet another fifth starter. Dixon kept getting whacked around, but the Loggers also hit into double plays in the third and fourth inning to limit their actual runs output, adding only a run in the third inning on hits by Craig Sayre, who stole second, and Chris Thomas before things went pear-shaped for them. The Coons never scored through five, amounting to only three base hits. Dixon walked Kenny Leon to start the sixth, with that run making it to third base by the time there were two outs and the pitcher at the plate – also with the aid of a passed ball again, which sugged – when Clements’ sharp grounder was barely intercepted and turned into the third out by Lonzo.

Lonzo also opened the home team scoring in the bottom 6th with a single to right, stole second base, and then went home on a Pucks double over the head of Phil Steinbacher. That was all the scoring, unfortunately, as Crum and del Toro made meek outs. Miles pitched the seventh, and Harmer made his major league debut in the eighth, retiring the 4-5-6 in order, including a K to Callaia.

Bottom 8th; a pair of 1-out singles off David Fox put the tying runs on base, with Ken Crum responsible for Lonzo and Pucks. Right-hander John Morrill, recently purged from the rotation, replaced the lefty Fox, gave up a high fly on the first pitch, but Aaron Coen tracked the ball down near the warning track in centerfield. Del Toro flew deep to left, but that ball was also caught by Sayre. Instead, the Loggers tacked on a run with a Ricky Lopez homer off Crisler in the ninth. Which didn’t matter, since the Raccoons didn’t mount a rally beyond a pinch-hit double by Ed Crispin in the bottom 9th anyway… 4-1 Loggers. Puckeridge 3-4, 2B, RBI; del Toro 2-4; Crispin (PH) 1-1, 2B;

Didn’t miss much there, huh?

Game 3
MIL: RF C. Lowe – CF Steinbacher – C C. Thomas – SS Z. Suggs – 1B Callaia – 3B K. Leon – LF de Lemos – 2B R. Lopez – P Munoz
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – RF Glodowski – 3B Crispin – C Brewer – P Taki

This game came with the implication of a double-header looming on Monday, so a complete game would be nice, Taki-san, but no pressure.

Two Loggers singles and 28 pitches in the first inning wasn’t exactly what I had in mind then, but at least the Coons made a run out of their two singles with Lonzo and Pucks both getting a hit and a stolen base, but only the former got around to score for a 1-0 lead. Taki got a wee bit more efficient in the next innings, then legged out an infield single to begin the bottom 3rd. Waters also singled, and Lonzo found the gap between Dave de Lemos and Phil Steinbacher for a 2-run double, 3-0! This time Ken Crum singled him home and then stole a base, but was stranded, even though Glodowski reached by getting drilled and Crispin hit a screamer, but right at Steinbacher to end the inning. Crispin batted again with the bases loaded and two outs in the fifth inning, but then popped out to Leon.

Taki at one point retired a dozen in a row before Chris Thomas hit a single in the sixth, and he also got more efficient as things went along; after 28 pitches for the first inning, he needed 70 more for the next six frames, and was sent back out for the eighth as well. He finished the inning – but not without giving up a home run to left to Ricky Lopez to narrow the score to 4-1. That led to Hitchcock closing out the game (successfully, too), but he hadn’t pitched on Saturday at least, so the Coons didn’t go into the double-header with any reliever having thrown two days in a row. 4-1 Critters. Lavorano 3-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Puckeridge 2-3, BB, RBI; Taki 8.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 7 K, W (7-5) and 1-3;

In other news

June 10 – The Wolves shut down SP Chris Ferguson (1-8, 5.53 ERA) with shoulder inflammation, probably for the rest of the season.
June 11 – DEN 1B Raul Sevilla (.327, 13 HR, 53 RBI) slaps a quartet of singles, plus a triple, and drives in three runs in an 8-1 win over the Bayhawks.
June 14 – The Blue Sox pick up WAS SP Cory Ellis (4-5, 2.61 ERA) for two prospects. The deal includes #71 prospect SP Alex Diaz.
June 14 – The Wolves enter the ninth inning trailing the Scorpions by a run, then collapse spectacularly for an 11-run inning and take a 17-5 loss. SAC 1B Steve Wyatt (.332, 15 HR, 47 RBI) hits a grand slam in the ninth inning and overall has three hits, two homers, and six RBI.
June 14 – Rookie VAN OF Kyle Hawkins (.323, 2 HR, 8 RBI) mercifully ends a 16-inning soul-draining scoreless game with a walkoff single to score Dan Mullen (.311, 2 HR, 20 RBI), for a 1-0 win over the Titans.
June 15 – OCT 3B/1B Ramon Sifuentes (.313, 8 HR, 35 RBI) puts out two hits while the Thunder get routed by the Falcons, 10-1, which certainly dulls the joy over his 2,000th career hit, a second-inning single against CHA SP Chris Jones (2-7, 3.45 ERA). Sifuentes, now 37, was the 2044 CL Player of the Year, and has hit .282/.323/.422 with 179 HR and 954 RBI, plus 208 stolen bases, over his 15-year career.

FL Player of the Week: NAS LF/RF Eric Cobb (.269, 2 HR, 20 RBI), batting .522 (12-23) with 1 HR, 1 RBI
CL Player of the Week: POR OF/1B Alan Puckeridge (.355, 5 HR, 28 RBI), hitting .565 (13-23) with 1 HR, 5 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Pucks was on fire all week and is now leading the batting race in the Continental League now, and by 23 points ahead of Manny Poindexter and John Fink. He missed two weeks early in the season and thus only recently got over the qualifying hump of 3.1 PA/G. No scouting institution I know of, including Pat Degenhardt, has great reviews about him, but the kid is just hitting. I like that.

By the way, we once grabbed him for all of $22k out of Australia. Not everything that’s for free is worthless.

And not everything that costs you piles of dosh is worth much of anything… (looks at Maldo, who has fallen asleep in his food bowl again)

The team pitching triple crown has Taki ahead of (or tied with) Barel and ahead of Raffy in all categories. That of course with an asterisk of Jason Wheatley having missed a good six weeks and actually having the lowest ERA by a starter on the team, but over 30 innings short of qualifying – although with 94 games left, going about six and a half innings per start over 19 to 20 starts would actually get him to 162 innings and beyond still.

Victor Salcido didn’t pitch all week long – there was no real spot for him in L.A., and he was held out of the Loggers games since we need the extra starter on Monday in the double-header against the Arrowheads. Off day on Thursday then, and a set in Tijuana on the weekend.

Fun Fact: Seisaku Taki has the highest WAR by any starting pitcher in the league at this point, with 2.8 WAR.

A Japanese import doing well for the Coons? Haven’t seen that one in a while. I can’t wait to see how this one goes wrong! Hopefully not on the field… or in the hospital… or with some snooper employed by the Agitator finding out he has a basement full of little boys that he whips for pleasure. I know, I know, always expect the worst……

[Westheim]

2052 AMATEUR DRAFT

While the Raccoons played like total twats against the Loggers, the draft took place on Saturday in New York. The Raccoons were invited to make the 22nd selection in every round, and not one more, nor one less. That probably wouldn’t amount to a selection from our annual hotlist, but you can’t have everything, can you… (*high school player):

SP Jaden Williams (14/12/8) – BNN #2
SP Rick Johnson (11/12/9) – BNN #1
SP Cameron Parks (10/13/12)*

1B Andy Metz (10/14/15)
2B/SS/CF Jesse Sweeney (10/6/11) – BNN #6
INF Billy Nichols (13/10/6)*

OF Ken Hummel (17/15/10) – BNN #9
RF/LF Perry Pigman (14/10/12) – BNN #7
OF Kyle Fisher (13/7/14) – BNN #8
OF Elijah Johnson (10/12/13)
OF/1B Chris Lovins (9/6/8)* – BNN #3

Overall the draft was rather poor on catchers and also a broad selection of starting pitchers, so if you already had some of those in your system (makes unsure paw movement regarding catchers) this draft couldn’t really hurt you either.

Ken Hummel was the #1 pick, taken by the Aces, with Perry Pigman a swift second to the Loggers. Josh Elling, a starting pitcher not on our hotlist, was selected at #3 by the Wolves. The Indians then took Chris Lovins, the Warriors took Jesse Sweeney, and the Caps took Jaden Williams, with Cameron Parks to the Blue Sox at #7.

That was the last hotlist pick until Rick Johnson went to the Condors at #12, at which point there were only position players left. Kyle Fisher was scooped up by the Pacifics at #13, and the damn Elks made Andy Metz a star by picking him up with the #19 selection. That left us to pick between infielder Billy Nichols and outfielder Elijah Johnson, and the latter’s power potential really pulled me in at that stage. Nichols ended up with the Aces as well as the #25 selection then.

+++

2052 PORTLAND RACCOONS DRAFT CLASS

Round 1 (#22) – OF Elijah Johnson, 20, from Lake Forest, CA – good power potential with appealing contact and eye ratings, some speed, and enough range and skill to draw few if any complaints in a corner outfield spot
Round 2 (#57) – OF David Flores, 18, from Pompano Beach, FL – good power potential with appealing contact and eye ratings, some speed, and – … did we draft the same guy twice? This one had a tad less eye and a scratch more defense, and he was a switch-hitter.
Round 3 (#81) – SP John Blevins, 21, from Los Angeles, CA – ordinary righty, throwing 90mph with a slider, changeup, and forkball for a complementary mix
Round 4 (#105) – SS/2B George Sizemore, 19, from Warrensburg, MO – there’s no question that he can field like and heck and run faster than most, but the question is whether he’ll ever hit enough to show that off in the big leagues; certainly not much more than a singles slapper, but might draw enough walks to do it at the top of the order rather than at the bottom
Round 5 (#129) – 1B Chad Spivey, 18, from Saugus, MA – fields like a first baseman, runs like a first baseman, but there was a hint of power potential with at least decent contact there
Round 6 (#153) – CL Chris Campbell, 20, from Vincennes, IN – right-hander, 91mph sinker, cutter, so yes, he was a groundballer. Sometimes he’d also cut one into the batter’s shins, so that needed work…
Round 7 (#177) – INF/RF Todd Stuebe, 18, from Seattle Hill-Silver Firs, WA – potential super utility with a versatile glove and decent contact potential; also potential to be looking for a real job at 21…
Round 8 (#201) – 1B/OF David Chasse, 18, from East Hartford, CT – centerfield type with big range, not so big an arm, and decent speed; might even be able to draw a bunch of walks because he likes to look at pitches, including ones in the middle of the zone
Round 9 (#225) – SS Seth Pavlick, 18, from Laguna Hills, CA – speedy, strong defensive shortstop, with all the pitfalls that characterization stereotypically entailed…
Round 10 (#249) – C Vince Bell, 22, from Chino Hills, CA – I have this sticky note saying that I need to draft a defensively adept catcher to keep all the pitchers with sucky command under control, so there’s that.
Round 11 (#273) – SP Patrick Finney, 18, from West Odessa, TX – left-handed starter that throws 86 and only reluctantly leaves his GameHexagon console to do the work, but the curveball’s nice
Round 12 (#297) – SP Jim Hunt, 18, from Milwaukee, WI – another left-hander throwing 86, but this one didn’t have a nice curveball, either…
Round 13 (#321) – SS Josh Hamilton, 17, from National City, CA – another defensively minded shortstop with great range, some speed, and a flyswatter bat.

+++

There were a few cullings as well, of course, some of which might even be known my name to hardcore followers of the franchise. The only pitcher axed was 2050 ninth-rounder Eric Meekins, who had a habit of doubling his ERA each additional year he was in Aumsville, and it had to stop.

For batters, the most prominent victim was a 28-year-old AAA infielder that had appeared in 32 games for the 2049 Raccoons, batting .250 with no homers and 2 RBI, Tim Rogers. He was hitting .200 in AAA this year and was mainly taking up space. 2048 fifth-rounder Byron Horan was a lazy bum hitting .228 in Ham Lake and was made gone. From Aumsville, thoroughly underwhelming first basemen Ian Thore (2051, 12th Round) and Justin Undercoffer (2050, 10th Rd.) were released as well as infielder Jonathan Welsh (2050, 7th Rd.), who could field very well, and that was it.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (30-38) @ Indians (37-30) – June 17-19, 2052

The second-place Indians had the Raccoons in for four games in three days, starting with a double-header on Monday following a rainout the previous month. The Indians ranked sixth in runs scored and fifth in runs allowed. Their run differential was +23 (Coons: +12). They were low on power, but had a very tough rotation to chew through. The Raccoons would field the runts of the litter on Monday and would probably run out of arms with six innings to go or so… Indy led the season series, 4-1.

Projected matchups:
Victor Salcido (1-5, 6.54 ERA) vs. Dave Serio (3-6, 4.66 ERA)
Rafael de la Cruz (4-4, 3.38 ERA) vs. Adam Foley (1-5, 4.91 ERA)
David Barel (7-5, 2.89 ERA) vs. Tan Brink (6-4, 3.29 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (2-0, 2.70 ERA) vs. Steve Miles (4-0, 3.38 ERA)

Both Foley and Miles had made most of their appearances this year from the pen, so it wasn’t like the Indians’ rotation wasn’t pieced together from remainders. All their prospective starters were right-handed.

The Coons arrived in Indy with 27 players. Against convention, the weaker starting pitcher would go out first in the double-header, and Salcido would be piggy-backed with recent arrival Ryan Harmer, who was likely to get returned to AAA after the game to get a fresh reliever on the roster. Depending on how (un)well that first game went, Matt Dixon might be axed as well for another reliever. 25-year-olds Polibio O’Higgins and Jim Larson were on standby. Only the latter was on the 40-man roster, which was full.

…and after ALL THAT PREPARATION… it rained at lunchtime, and all afternoon, and the double-header was partially cancelled while we had dinner. Two games on Tuesday now, boys! That changed the pitching assignment for Monday, with Salcido pushed back a day. Raffy pitched the opener

Game 1
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – C Suggs – 3B Crispin – RF Maldonado – P de la Cruz
IND: 1B M. Gilmore – SS de Castro – RF B. Quinteros – 3B B. Anderson – C Poindexter – LF Kokel – CF Locke – 2B N. Fernandez – P Serio

When the opener finally got underway at a roughly normal time for a single game, the sky looked still treacherous, but at least the Coons started off with a 3-run first inning. Lonzo and Pucks went to the corners, Ken Crum tripled the boys home, and then scored on Juan del Toro’s sac fly to Bill Quinteros in right. Three more were on base in the second with Crispin and Maldo singles, a walk drawn by Waters, and nobody scored once Lonzo hit into a double play. Pucks singled again to start off the third inning, stole second base, and eventually scored on another sac fly by del Toro, this time to left, although the Indians got that run back off Raffy with an Alex de Castro double to left and Quinteros single to right in the bottom of the inning.

That score stood for a good old while as the pitchers both found a groove in the middle innings and didn’t allow any more runs, nor even an advance to third base. Serio went six, Raffy went seven, and the 4-1 score held until the eighth when Ricky Garcia, a left-hander, put all of Lonzo, Pucks, and del Toro on base (the last one intentionally), only to give up a 1-out RBI single to Sean Suggs. Glodowski hit a sac fly in Crispin’s place, but Maldo grounded out to end the inning. Justin Johns pitched the bottom 8th by retiring the 2-3-4 batters in order, and the Coons then lined up Ryan Harmer for the ninth. Manny Poindexter, Chaz Kokel, and Philip Locke went 1-2-3 as well in that inning. 6-1 Raccoons. Waters 2-4, BB; Lavorano 3-5; Puckeridge 3-4; del Toro 0-1, BB, 2 RBI; de la Cruz 7.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, W (5-4);

So far, so good. The general plan for Monday remained in place on Tuesday: Salcido would start the opener, and we still had O’Higgins and Larson sitting in the clubhouse playing cards and waiting for major implosions in the first game to get activated for the second game. David Barel now was the pitcher planned in for the late show. The lineup for the Salcido start was the same that had been penciled in for him the day before. And finally, the sky also still looked ominously.

Game 2
POR: SS Lavorano – 3B Crispin – CF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – RF Glodowski – 2B DeMarco – C Brewer – P Salcido
IND: 1B M. Gilmore – SS de Castro – RF B. Quinteros – 3B B. Anderson – C Poindexter – LF Kokel – CF A. Mendez – 2B N. Fernandez – P Foley

Salcido didn’t disappoint; he sucked. He walked Mike Gilmore to start the first, but de Castro hit into a double play, 5-4-3, so that was that. Come the second, Salcido offered a leadoff walk to Bobby Anderson, and another walk to Poindexter, and another walk to Kokel, and another walk to Nick Fernandez, which forced home a run. In between, Angel Mendez lined out to DeMarco, and Foley whiffed at least. Gilmore grounded out to Crum to strand a full set. The pen was putting pants on at this point. Meanwhile, the Coons took an unearned 2-1 lead in the top of the third; Aaron Brewer reached on a throwing error by Bobby Anderson, and with two outs Crispin raked an RBI triple in the left-center gap and scored on a soft Puckeridge single to flip the whole thing on its head.

The Indians didn’t get a hit until Chaz Kokel’s leadoff triple in the bottom 4th, with a Mendez single tying the game right after, but to be fair, it was hard to hit a ball that was about to take your feet off if you didn’t take evasive action… Salcido walked SIX in four innings, and would have been yanked at that point if the Coons hadn’t been looking at at least 12, maybe 14, and possibly even extra innings on the day, even WITH the extra pitching sitting around and drinking every fizzy drink in the clubhouse vending machine.

What actually ended Salcido’s game wasn’t the six walks, or the leadoff single de Castro hit in the bottom 5th, but a loud clap of thunder right as Bill Quinteros settled in the box after that. It started to pour immediately, and the game swiftly went to an hourlong rain delay. When play resumed on what was going to be a long, old day, Paul Miles oversaw a 3-run meltdown by not retiring any between the 3-4-5 batters; Poindexter singled home a run, Mendez singled home a run, and another run scored on a passed ball to send the Indians up 5-2. Indy was bringing righty Bill Nichol, disgraced former starter, for the top 6th, and he didn’t fare much better. Del Toro and Glodowski singled and went to the corners right away, and DeMarco’s RBI double over the head of Mendez put the tying runs in scoring position with no outs. Brewer popped out, Miles struck out, and Lonzo popped out to strand the runners then. Miles returned for the bottom 6th, faced five batters, and retired nobody. Gilmore triple, de Castro single, Quinteros single, Anderson single, Poindexter single… two home, three on base, nobody out, and here came Harmer. Goody. He walked in a run against Chaz Kokel, but when Mendez flew out to Pucks, Anderson went for home and was thrown out for a double play. Fernandez popped out to Crum, stranding two batters, but the game at 8-3 was lost. The Coons abused Harmer for another inning, and Crisler did the eighth… and then the Coons did get the Indians’ closer into the game after all. Mitch Sivertson doubled out of the #9 hole to begin the ninth against Cesar Suarez. Lonzo and Crispin hit singles, the latter driving in a run, which made it 8-4 with two on and a save situation for lefty Heath Turner. He whiffed Pucks, but walked Crum, moving up del Toro as the tying run. A single past Fernandez into left scored Lonzo, 8-5. Glodowski got to see the left-hander, too, and shot the first pitch right at Anderson for a game-ending double play. 8-5 Indians. Lavorano 2-5; Crispin 2-5, 3B, 2 RBI; del Toro 2-5, 2B, RBI; DeMarco 2-3, 2 2B, RBI; Waters (PH) 1-1; Sivertson 1-1, 2B; Harmer 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 0 K;

Useless pelt.

Ryan Harmer was then optioned by necessity and replaced with Jim Larson. O’Higgins still hung around for the late game, but wasn’t on the roster.

Game 3
POR: 2B Waters – 3B Crispin – LF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – C Suggs – SS Sivertson – CF Suzuki – RF Maldonado – P Barel
IND: 2B N. Fernandez – SS de Castro – 3B B. Anderson – RF B. Quinteros – CF Kokel – C M. Gilmore – 1B R. White – LF A. Mendez – P Brink

The Coons had leadoff singles by Waters in the first, Sivertson in the second, and a Pucks double in the third, and never managed to score on any of those chances, while Indy went up 1-0 in the bottom 2nd when Gilmore doubled to center and scored on Rusty White’s single through the right side. Gilmore’s leadoff jack in the bottom 4th made it a 2-0 game, while the Coons got more leadoff singles. Barel in the fifth was stranded, while Crum in the sixth got doubled up by Sean Suggs, which sugged. Chaz Kokel homered in the bottom 6th instead to give the Indians another run, and Barel was done after that inning, having been plonked for 11 base hits. Larson pitched the seventh, giving up another run on two singles and a Kokel sac fly. Lillis got the eighth, and through it, but so did Tan Brink – through all nine innings for an 8-hit shutout… 4-0 Indians. Puckeridge 2-3, BB, 2B;

The Coons lost, twice. Larson stayed for the finale, O’Higgins didn’t. I stared at my breakfast schnitzel with dismay on Wednesday morning.

It wasn’t working out, was it?

Game 4
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – C Suggs – 3B DeMarco – CF Suzuki – P Wheatley
IND: CF R. White – SS de Castro – RF B. Quinteros – 3B B. Anderson – C Poindexter – LF Kokel – 1B M. Gilmore – 2B N. Fernandez – P S. Miles

Pucks brought in Lonzo twice, with a single in the first and a groundout in the sixth. At that point the miserable Coons had two total runs and three total hits – that Pucks single and a Lonzo double and triple. The rest of the lineup could have died in a fire and it wouldn’t have made a difference. Also, Wheats caught a lousy start. In between Alan Puckeridge RBI’s he gave up a double to Rusty White on his first pitch of the game and the 1-0 lead on a Quinteros single in the bottom 1st, then conceded two more runs on Chaz Kokel and Mike Gilmore hits, a wild pitch, and a groundout by Nick Fernandez in the fourth.

The defense started to work a bit more with him in the following innings (DeMarco had made an error to begin the third, f.e.), and the Coons evened the score by the seventh when DeMarco drew a leadoff walk, then scored on Mikio Suzuki’s double to deep left, but a Wheats pop and Waters whiff left the go-ahead run on second base. Wheatley drilled Philip Locke in the bottom 7th, but worked around that incident to complete the inning; he had to settle for a no-decision though, as the Coons made nothing out of a 2-out double by Ken Crum off Cesar Suarez in the eighth, with Juan del Toro striking out to leave him stranded. Johns and Lillis kept the Arrowheads off the board in the bottom of the inning. The top 9th saw a leadoff single for Suggs off Heath Turner, but even a generous application of pinch-runners (Crispin) and -hitters (Glodowski, Maldo) was able to produce a run. Instead, Paul Crisler retired nobody in the bottom 9th to soak the loss on a bases-loaded, walkoff single by Locke. 4-3 Indians. Lavorano 2-4, 3B, 2B;

Raccoons (31-41) @ Condors (31-41) – June 21-23, 2052

Two teams on the crossroads to nowhere. The Condors looked well worse on paper though, being in the bottom three in both runs scored and runs allowed. They had a -71 run differential, while the Coons still sat at +11. The Condors led the season series, 2-1, but had a flush of injuries, including Omar Lara, Kevin Daley, Adrian West, Ricky Lamotta, and Brian Blackburn all being on the DL.

Projected matchups:
Seisaku Taki (7-5, 2.84 ERA) vs. Jayden Woods (0-1, 8.14 ERA)
Rafael de la Cruz (5-4, 3.21 ERA) vs. Hyuma Hitomi (3-5, 4.73 ERA)
David Barel (7-6, 2.99 ERA) vs. Larry Colwell (6-4, 3.67 ERA)

We’d miss southpaw Tony Llorens (4-6, 3.69 ERA), who’d be fourth in line in a three-game set.

The Coons skipped Matt Dixon on the day off, which meant we now had two roster spots occupied by starting pitchers we’d rather not use.

Game 1
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – C Suggs – 3B Sivertson – CF Suzuki – P Taki
TIJ: SS C. Navarro – CF Ransford – C Mittleider – LF T. Duncan – RF G. Cabrera – 1B Whitehurst – 3B Chapa – 2B Steel – P J. Woods

Both teams scored their first run in the game with a triple involved; Dustin Ransford got three bags out of a ball that split Pucks and Suzuki, then scored on Jon Mittleider’s sac fly in the first inning, but Matt Waters tripled home Suzuki with two outs in the third inning to get even. The tie was soon broken, though, when Chris Navarro, chasing Lonzo in the stolen base table, singled, swiped second, and eventually came home on a wild pitch in the bottom of the same inning. The 2-1 score endured through middle innings best described as dominated by pitching. By the end of the sixth, the Condors had four base hits in total, and the Coons just half of that. Jesse Steel hit a double off Taki in the seventh, but was stranded when Woods struck out. Taki put Ransford on with an error in the bottom 8th, but got around that runner to complete the inning in what was still a losing effort.

The Condors went to right-hander Jake Hill and his 4.70 ERA in the ninth, but Lonzo raked his first pitch for a double to left. Pucks, who had entered the game with a 10-game hitting streak, but so far had been held dry, lobbed a ball over the head of Navarro for a single, and Lonzo had sniffed that one and was already at third base when the ball dinked into shallow left-center. He scored easily, and the game was tied. The next three batters made meek outs, though, and Justin Johns then entered the bottom 9th. He ****** PH Alex Fernandez on base with an error, dropping a feed by Crum at first base, then walked Luis Chapa, but somehow got out of the inning with infield heroics by Mitch Sivertson in particular, making a fine play on Adrian Guerra for the third out, with the winning run dashing for home plate. Maldo reached by getting nicked in the 10th, but that was that, with Jim Larson holding the Condors away. Lonzo then opened another inning with a double, taking George Youngblood up the line in left to begin the 11th. Pucks popped out to shallow right, but Ken Crum came through, banging a ball of the wall in right-center for an RBI triple. DeMarco batted for del Toro and singled home Crum against the left-hander that went on retire Suggs, but Sivertson reached on an error by Alex Fernandez at third base. Aaron Brewer batted for the pitcher in the #8 hole, socked a 2-run double, and the Condors went to get a new pitcher. The Coons then dared to put Matt Dixon into a 4-run game for the bottom 11th. Fernandez singled, Nathan Whitehurst walked, and Kevin Hitchcock was warming up rapidly until Luis Chapa grounded to Lonzo for a game-ending double play. 6-2 Coons. Lavorano 2-5, 2 2B; DeMarco (PH) 1-1, RBI; Brewer (PH) 1-1, 2B, 2 RBI; Taki 8.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 7 K;

Game 2
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – 3B Crispin – RF Maldonado – C Brewer – P de la Cruz
TIJ: SS C. Navarro – CF Ransford – LF T. Duncan – RF G. Cabrera – 1B Whitehurst – 3B Chapa – C Guerra – 2B Steel – P Hitomi

Both teams had a throwing error in the first, but only the Condors scored when Chris Navarro singled, stole second, and reached third on Brewer’s throw in the general direction of Puckeridge, from where a groundout by Tim Duncan brought him home. Raffy otherwise struck out four the first time through the order, but then put four on base in the bottom 3rd, as Ransford and Duncan hit singles, and Gil Cabrera and Luis Chapa drew walks. Somehow only Nathan Whitehurst with a sac fly brought in a run, and Adrian Guerra struck out to strand a full set, but Raffy’s pitch count was already over 60 again…

The 2-0 score stood for as long as Raffy pitched, which because the early drag was six and a third innings, but at least there were some quicker at-bats in the middle innings. That still took him 103 pitches, but of course with no offensive support whatsoever. The Coons in fact had ONE HIT off Hitomi, a Lonzo single. He was caught stealing. Juan del Toro hit a leadoff single in the eighth, but the runner never moved further than first base. When Mitch Sivertson drove a leadoff double to right in the ninth inning against Jake Hill, it was already the ******* furthest advance by a Raccoon in that game. Hill walked Matt Waters, but then fanned both Lonzo and Pucks, ending the latter’s hitting streak unless the Coons made it to extras. Ken Crum with two outs made it technically possible, finding the gap in right-center for a game-tying, last-ditch, 2-run double…! Another double by del Toro gave the Coons the lead. Youngblood was back then, and gave up a single to Glodowski, batting for Crispin, but Maldo flew out to deep center. Hitchcock sawed off the top of the Condors’ lineup, and the Coons committed series win fraud. 3-2 Bandits. Del Toro 2-4, 2B, RBI; Glodowski (PH) 1-1; Sivertson (PH) 1-1, 2B; de la Cruz 6.1 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 4 BB, 9 K;

That win lifted the Critters out of the bottom spot in the division, the Loggers having faded behind them at least for the night.

Game 3
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – C Suggs – 3B DeMarco – RF Maldonado – P Barel
TIJ: SS C. Navarro – CF Ransford – C Mittleider – LF T. Duncan – RF G. Cabrera – 3B Whitehurst – 1B Guerra – 2B Chapa – P Colwell

Crum’s groundout brought in Lonzo in the first after the 2-3 hitters had both lobbed singles, but del Toro just kept grounding out unhelpfully, and Navarro and Mittleider hit singles to make up the run against Barel right in the bottom of the first. A Suggs double and two productive groundouts gave Maldo an RBI and the team a 2-1 lead in the top 2nd, but that lead disappeared as well on a pair of Condors hits in the bottom 5th, then by Ransford and Duncan. The Coons offense remained a disappointment, and Barel found himself stuck in the bottom 7th. Navarro hit a 1-out single, and PH Jeremy Spilotro walked, which was the end for Barel on 107 pitches, not all efficient. Johns entered, and Mittleider exited the inning with a sharp grounder to third base, which DeMarco turned for a 5-4-3 double play. Johns retired three more in the eighth inning to keep everybody in a 2-2 tie.

Ken Crum broke that when he peppered a homer to right off Pedro de Leon to begin the ninth inning then, giving the Coons their third go-ahead run in the ninth inning or later in this series. That was mostly all; Crispin pinch-hit and singled in the inning, but was left stranded, and then Hitchcock came back. He got Guerra, but then allowed a single to Chapa and walked Danny Hildebrand. Navarro grounded to left, the infielders missed the ball, but del Toro fired to home plate PERFECTLY to kill dead Luis Chapa and the tying run…! He then caught a lazy fly by Alex Fernandez to complete the sweep. 3-2 Critters. Lavorano 3-4; Crum 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Crispin (PH) 1-1; Johns 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K, W (3-1);

In other news

June 22 – Scorpions LF/RF/1B Nate Culp (.233, 8 HR, 23 RBI) has to sit out at least two weeks with a sprained finger.

FL Player of the Week: SAC 3B Ricky Jimenez (.284, 6 HR, 31 RBI), batting .579 (11-19) with 1 HR, 4 RBI
CL Player of the Week: OCT 2B/SS Jonathan Ban (.342, 2 HR, 30 RBI), hitting .481 (13-27) with 2 HR, 5 RBI

Complaints and stuff

First sweep since dumping three on the Rebs in Richmond in early May…! Wheee!

Dixon isn’t pitching, Salcido isn’t pitching – at least if we can help it. What are they doing on the roster? Well, Brobeck hit a rough spot in AAA (6+ ERA), and there were no obvious alternatives. We could toss Cameron Argenziano to the lions, he was on the 40-man roster at least. 4-4 with a 3.44 ERA in AAA during this week, which was a marked improvement from the 5.66 ERA of last year for the 24-year-old lefty former second-rounder.

Trade talks with several teams were ongoing during the week. There were a few veterans on the roster that were audibly and visibly unhappy with their role on the roster and/or the direction the team was headed in as a whole. I was trying to trim a few of those, if possible. No trimming Maldo, of course; who’d pay almost a million a month for THAT?

At one point we were talking with the Titans about Tony Lopez (of course involving another outfielder going back there, because we had enough of them), but then Lopez sprained his ankle and would be out until mid-July, so that led nowhere either.

David Barel was so nice to let me know of his proposal for a contract extension. His idea of his retirement contract … well, how can I put this… let’s just say the total value just ever so slightly dwarfs what Jesus Maldonado once signed for a retirement contract. It starts with a 6.

Yes, Maldo, I was talking about you. – Yes, who is a good boy. – I SAID, WHO IS A GOOD BOY. – Use the ear trumpet, Maldo! – THE EAR TRUMPET!!

Slappy, what’s that wet spot?

We have reached the string of games with no days off before the All Star Game. There is a home week coming up, with the Aces and Elks in Portland, and then we’ll be in New York and Boston to finish the first half.

Fun Fact: Raffy de la Cruz finishes the week third in strikeouts in the CL with 84.

Esteban Duran was on 87, and Enrique Ortiz on 117, but also on a stunning 120 innings.

Once Raffy will have reached THAT level of efficiency, I’ll be emotionally at rest.

[Westheim]

That 7-year contract's gonna work out to less than 0.3 WAR per million of Nick Valdes' bucks.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (34-41) vs. Aces (34-42) – June 24-26, 2052

The new week started with a set against the Aces, who had swept the Critters the first time these two teams had met this season. They were fourth in the South, but already 16 games out of the lead. Fifth in runs scored, ninth in runs allowed, and a -24 run differential for this team, which could hit homers, couldn’t steal bases much at all, and had creaky defense in addition to the second-worst bullpen by ERA.

Projected matchups:
Jason Wheatley (2-0, 2.89 ERA) vs. Larry Broad (7-5, 3.81 ERA)
Matt Dixon (0-2, 5.93 ERA) vs. Medardo Regueir (4-9, 4.87 ERA)
Seisaku Taki (7-5, 2.79 ERA) vs. Josh Wilson (6-4, 3.47 ERA)

Righty, lefty, righty, and hopefully something else than losey, losey, losey. The Aces were down a number of regulars, including Chris Cornelius, Brent Cramer, and Travis Stone, all on the 60-day DL.

Every regular – more or less the top five in the order – was due a day off this week since the next off day wouldn’t come around until the actual All Star break. Since the damn Elks – due later in the week – didn’t have a southpaw starter, Pucks and del Toro would probably start with sitting down on Tuesday then.

Game 1
LVA: 1B Blair – RF Austin – CF van de Wouw – 3B Welter – C Weese – LF Bishop – 2B J. White – SS Hager – P Broad
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – C Suggs – 3B DeMarco – RF Maldonado – P Wheatley

The Aces that didn’t steal bases stole two bases in the first two innings; Dave Blair was stranded in the first, but Jim White singled after a Pucks bobble allowed Steve Bishop on base in the second inning. Bishop made for third base on the White single, and White made for second base on a pitch to Brenton Hager, who grounded out to plate Bishop’s unearned run. The inning ended with Broad, but an Aubrey Austin double, Neville van de Wouw’s single, and another double by Jeremy Welter drove home two earned runs in the third inning… Jim White then homered off Wheatley in the fourth, 4-0, and I was mentally ready for the All Star Game… or offseason, even. The Coons’ first hit was a del Toro single in the bottom 4th, and their second hit a 2-run bomb by Sean Suggs, cutting the gap in half.

By the fifth, Wheats had shaken off the jitters and put another three zeroes on the board (not that he had put up many earlier…), but the Coons’ hitting efforts remained… sporadic. Juan del Toro’s homer in the bottom 6th cut the gap in half again, 4-3, and by the bottom 7th Broad wobbled, walked Maldo and Waters, and Lonzo scratched out a 2-out single. The bases were full for Pucks, who hit a drive to center… but also more or less right at van de Wouw to kill the inning. The eighth was uneventful, with Brett Lillis jr. holding the line. The ninth, less so. Paul Crisler gave up a walk and four hits, all of them doubles, to all fields, and four runs, to nail down Wheats’ first loss of the season for good. 8-3 Aces. Del Toro 2-4, HR, RBI;

No, of course no Coon reached base in the ninth inning, either.

Game 2
LVA: 1B Blair – RF Austin – CF van de Wouw – 3B Welter – C Weese – LF Bishop – 2B J. White – SS Hager – P Regueir
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – 3B DeMarco – CF Crum – RF Glodowski – LF Sivertson – 1B Maldonado – C Brewer – P Dixon

Dixon made his last start for the Coons, and I knew it pretty soon. The Coons went up 1-0 in the first inning when Lonzo forced out Waters, but stole second and came around on a DeMarco single to left-center, but Dixon blew it with three full-count walks to the 6-7-8 batters in the second, then gave up an RBI single to Regueir. Somehow gross incompetence by Dave Blair and Aubrey Austin kept the Aces from tacking on more runs. Fireworks gave the Aces a 4-1 lead in the top of the third; Jeremy Welter homered, Dixon walked Kevin Weese, and then was taken even deeper by Steve Bishop.

Somehow that loss didn’t yet stick, thanks to an error by Welter in the bottom 3rd. He misfiled a Crum grounder with Waters and Lonzo in scoring position and one out, allowing the Coons to get back to 4-2 with the tying runs on the corners. Glodowski, the useless pelt, whiffed, but Regueir dinked Mitch Sivertson, and then Maldo was down 0-2 before raking a liner over Welter’s hanging head and up the line for a score-knotting double. Aaron Brewer, also useless, popped out to strand a pair, and Dixon gave up another pair of rockets to van de Wouw and Welter to fall 5-4 behind in the fourth inning, after which he wasn’t seen again, dead or alive.

The Coons didn’t know better than to go to Victor Salcido now, which went well for approximately one inning before he got taken deep by Aubrey Austin for the rightfielder’s 18th homer of the year in the top 6th, then shuffled the bags full with more ineptitude and also an error by Waters. Glodowski hit into a double play in the fifth, Salcido bunted into a double play in the sixth, DeMarco slapped one into a double play to end the game eventually, and I calmly sought solace suckling on the neck of a bottle of Capt’n Coma. 6-4 Aces. Waters 1-2, 3 BB, 2B; DeMarco 2-5, RBI; Crum 2-4, RBI; Larson 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Matt Dixon (0-3, 7.13 ERA) was then duly disposed of, and not only disposed of, but also tossed onto waivers. Sunday’s starter: Mr. Question, Mark.

Maybe Cameron Argenziano, who had been vanquished in just 5.1 innings by the Albuquerque Vanquishers on this very day. He would at least line up. Against the damn Elks.

Lonzo got the day off on Wednesday. Waters and Crum to go.

Game 3
LVA: 1B Blair – RF Austin – CF van de Wouw – 3B Welter – C Weese – LF Bishop – 2B J. White – SS Hager – P Jo. Wilson
POR: 2B Waters – SS Sivertson – RF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – C Suggs – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – P Taki

Hits cost extra on Wednesday. While I looked pretty unhappy in general, Maud managed to coax a shy semi-grin from my sulky snout whenever Taki carved up another Vegas batter. Through five innings he gave up a Jim White single and struck out six, but on the other paw the Raccoons amounted to little more than that themselves, sitting on three hits and just as many runs – diddly squat. Taki struck out Wilson and got two grounders in the sixth, while the Coons got a leadoff walk from Sivertson. Pucks then singled to right, and Crum singled to left – three on, nobody out. Slappy, I’ll need the bottle opener for a fresh serving from the Capt’n. del Toro duly rumbled into a force at home on a grounder to Jim White, but Sean Suggs, in the perfect double play spot, for once hit one up instead of down, and rushed a 2-run double into the gap. The Aces walked Crispin with intent for reasons best known to them, but Suzuki managed a sac fly to left. Taki batted with two outs, fell to 0-2, then slung a sorry wailer to shallow center for a single. Suggs rumbled home on the play, giving Taki his first RBI in the ABL and a 4-0 lead. Make that 7-0 on Matt Waters’ VERY LOUD 3-run homer to right. Kevin Weese, the miserable **** countered with a homer off Taki, insisting on ruining his shutout bid in the top of the seventh, but that was the last base runner the technically-rookie allowed in eight innings, whiffing up two pawfuls. 7-1 Coons. Puckeridge 2-4; Suggs 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Taki 8.0 IP, 2 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 10 K, W (8-5) and 1-3, RBI;

Raccoons (35-43) vs. Canadiens (41-35) – June 27-30, 2052

The Elks were up 4-3 on the Coons this year, and I feared the worst. They were only ninth in runs scored, but conceded the second-fewest runs in the CL, and our haphazard scoring was the go-to punchline on Friday Night Pre-Recorded at this point.

Projected matchups:
Rafael de la Cruz (5-4, 3.18 ERA) vs. Mario Godinez (6-5, 3.89 ERA)
David Barel (7-6, 2.98 ERA) vs. Federico Purificao (2-7, 3.87 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (2-1, 3.02 ERA) vs. Anton Jesus (4-7, 4.42 ERA)
Cameron Argenziano (0-0) vs. Jesse Lausch (1-0, 0.66 ERA)

All the upcoming starters were right-handed. Lausch was an almost 28-year-old rookie with two career starts under his belt.

I smelled a sweep in the morning air…

Game 1
VAN: 3B A. Soto – RF J. Shaw – SS Mullen – CF D. Moreno – 1B Wheeler – 2B Nicholson – LF Escobido – C Julio Diaz – P Godinez
POR: SS Lavorano – 2B DeMarco – RF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – C Suggs – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – P de la Cruz

Raffy de la Cruz knew how to get a pitch count up, throwing 57 pitches without allowing a run in the first three innings. Three hits, a walk, five strikeouts, and a bunch of full counts helped him get there. He was also the first Critter to land a base hit, singling to right in the bottom 3rd with one out. Lonzo and DeMarco also dropped singles after that, making for three on and nobody out again – and as a side note, Mario Godinez threw all of 25 pitches to 11 batters. Six more popped out both Pucks and Crum, and we didn’t score. I did get into a loud argument with Honeypaws though, which of the batters in the lineup should be drowned in a barrel first.

Raffy hit another single in the fifth, but the Coons never scored for him, and he got ground to the finest dust still visible by the sixth inning. Damian Moreno hit a leadoff single, stole second, and was on third base after two long at-bats with Jeff Wheeler and Brian Nicholson that left de la Cruz on 112 pitches – more than enough. Crisler getting Angel Escobido to ground out gave Raffy a no-decision. Same for Crisler, with the Elks only breaking through in the eighth inning against Larson, who allowed a single to Moreno, who stole second, and threw a wild pitch, before walking Jeff Wheeler anyway. Lillis entered, but the Coons couldn’t get two on Tim Turner’s grounder to second, and Moreno scored. The Elks then added three line drive singles to left off Kevin Hitchcock in the ninth inning for an unchallenged win in the opener. 2-0 Canadiens. De la Cruz 5.2 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 6 K and 2-2;

(sigh!!)

Things got complicated with pouring rain on Friday, leading to a rainout and double-header for Saturday. We didn’t change the order of pitchers at this point, although we’d now also have a short-rest issue for next Wednesday.

Game 2
VAN: RF J. Shaw – C L. Miranda – 1B Wheeler – CF D. Moreno – SS Mullen – LF Escobido – 3B Nicholson – 2B Clevidence – P Purificao
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – C Suggs – LF Sivertson – 3B Crispin – RF Maldonado – P Barel

But let’s tackle the catastrophes one after the other. Sharp hits by Dan Mullen and Doug Clevidence, together with a Crispin error and a well-placed RBI groundout by the opposing pitcher put the damn Elks up 2-0 in the second inning. An Escobido homer ran the score to 3-0 in the fourth. In between the Coons got singles from Crispin and Maldo, and a Waters double – but in different innings, and none of the three Critters ended up actually ******* scoring.

It wasn’t until the sixth that the Coons put an actual ******* run together on Crum and Suggs doubles. Barel got stuck in the seventh, but was dug out by Justin Johns after giving up a single and a walk to Wheeler and Moreno, respectively. Del Toro batted for Johns to begin the bottom 7th and homered to right, 3-2. Sivertson was nailed and Crispin singled in the eighth, all with two outs. When the Elks brought righty Ryan Porter as the third pitcher of the inning, the Coons batted Mikio Suzuki for Maldo. They ran a full count before Suzuki shoved a ball through the left side for game-tying RBI single. Glodowski then popped out for Larson… Tim Turner doubled to left off Paul Miles to begin the ninth inning, but that go-ahead-again run withered at second base on straight poor outs by the 1-2-3 batters against Miles, thus allowing the Critters’ own 1-2-3 to walk off with just a lonely run. Matt Waters came close – tripling to the base of the fence in centerfield put the winning run just 90 feet away, and with nobody out. Oh boy, Slappy. (takes another gulp of Capt’n Coma) This one’s gonna be good. Actually, the game ended on just one more pitch – Lonzo flew out to Damian Moreno in center, but it was deep enough to get Waters home with the winner. 4-3 Coons. Waters 2-5, 3B, 2B; Crispin 3-4; Suzuki (PH) 1-1, RBI; del Toro (PH) 1-1, HR, RBI;

Johns, Larson, and Miles had pitched in this game, which left five men in the pen for the second game behind Wheats: Hitchcock, Lillis, Crisler, plus the smelly options of Salcido and Lenderink. The latter was virtually guaranteed an appearance in case of Wheats departing early and in unfortunate circumstances, given that we needed that roster spot for the Sunday starter.

The second leg of the double-header also marked the end of the first half of the season, mathematically.

Game 3
VAN: 3B A. Soto – RF J. Shaw – SS Mullen – CF D. Moreno – 1B Wheeler – LF T. Turner – 2B Nicholson – C Julio Diaz – P A. Jesus
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – LF del Toro – 1B Puckeridge – 3B Crispin – RF Glodowski – CF DeMarco – C Brewer – P Wheatley

Neither team managed a base hit the first time through; Wheats nicked Joshua Shaw in the first inning, but otherwise didn’t put anybody on base. Glodowski drew a walk as the only Coons runner in the first three innings, but Pucks then singled with two outs in the fourth, only to get stranded. Jeff Wheeler answered with a double to center to begin the fifth inning for the Elks and came around to score on two productive outs. Ballgame, probably. Because, well, we just can’t ******* score. Or pitch. Or anything. Anything except eating, sleeping, and farting.

The Coons battery then reached the corners with a pair of 2-out singles in the bottom 5th, followed by Anton Jesus losing Matt Waters in a full count to fill ‘em up for Lonzo. But Lonzo grounded out to Soto, and nobody scored…… Instead Jesus singled and Shaw doubled him home in the top 6th, 2-0. That was gonna be that, then, huh? No. Pucks reached in the bottom 6th when Jesus issued another free pass, and then Ed Crispin rocked a homer to left-center to tie the game at two. Not that the Elks were fazed. Tim Turner singled, Nicholson walked, Jerry Outram emerged from the shadows and lobbed a pinch-hit single before swiftly returning to the shadows, and another run scored on Jesus’ groundout, restoring the old 2-run lead over Wheatley in the top 7th… That was all they needed. Jesus completed eight allowing just four base hits, and Bernardino Risso didn’t exactly throw out the calf with the bathwater in the ninth inning either… 4-2 Canadiens. Puckeridge 1-2, 2 BB;

Lenderink never pitched (probably for the better) in his time up and was demoted again to make room for debutee Cameron Argenziano. The 24-year-old second-rounder from 2047 had a splendid changeup… and the rest was rather meh. He threw left-handed, and for a 3.55 ERA in 13 starts in St. Pete this year.

Game 4
VAN: RF J. Shaw – C L. Miranda – 1B Wheeler – CF D. Moreno – SS Mullen – LF Escobido – 3B Nicholson – 2B Clevidence – P Lausch
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – C Suggs – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – P Argenziano

On Argenziano’s second pitch, Shaw singled to center. Luis Miranda walked, and I braced myself for seeing Salcido pitch in the third inning, but after that Wheeler grounded out, Moreno whiffed, and Mullen grounded out again, and nobody scored. But the Elks hit a leadoff single in every inning, it seemed. Escobido got one through the right side in the second, but was forced out and the Elks didn’t score there, either, nor in the third inning on another Shaw single to begin the frame. This time Wheeler walked and Moreno hit another single to left, but trying to score from second base, Shaw was thrown out at the plate by del Toro. Mullen floated out to Mikio Suzuki to end the inning. The fourth inning did NOT see a leadoff single for the Elks – but instead Escobido reached on an error by Ed Crispin… Nicholson walked, but Doug Clevidence found a double play and Lausch struck out.

Argenziano then added two 1-2-3 innings, and also hit a double in the bottom 6th, which concluded with him stranded and the game still scoreless, because … well. It was just gonna be that, I guess. Lonzo hit a single in the bottom 7th, but was stranded just as mercilessly as Argenziano the inning before, and the pitcher then got stuck in the eighth. Shaw singled, Moreno walked, and he was lifted in a double switch with two outs, Hitchcock and Glodowski entering for him and del Toro. The Elks countered with Jerry Outram batting for Mullen, but grounded out easily, and then was replaced in situ by Alex Soto – he never played an inning in the field for the entire four-game set. Hitchcock got bombarded by more left-handed pinch-hitters in the ninth inning, gave up a single to Turner, then an RBI double to Clevidence, and that was probably gonna be that. Bernardino Risso came into the bottom 9th against Glodowski, gave up a screaming leadoff double to left, and I couldn’t wait to find out how we’d **** that chance away. Waters grounded out, moving the tying run to third base. Lonzo struck out, moving the tying run nowhere in particular. In DeSpair, DeMarco batted for Pucks against the lefty closer and hit a fly to center. It was not much of a hurdle for DeMoreno to send the fans home DeMoralized. 1-0 Canadiens. Lavorano 2-3; Glodowski 1-1, 2B; Argenziano 7.2 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 4 BB, 6 K and 1-2, 2B;

In other news

June 24 – TOP SP Kennedy Adkins (7-4, 2.81 ERA) hangs a 3-hit shutout on the Gold Sox, who get routed 12-0.
June 26 – LAP RF Matt Diskin (.386, 10 HR, 37 RBI) would have to pause the hitting and sit down for a month with a strained rib cage muscle.
June 28 – OCT SP Victor Marquez (8-4, 2.74 ERA) and CL Dale Mrazek (5-7, 6.03 ERA, 17 SV) pitch a combined 1-hit, 1-0 shutout against the Condors, who only have a double by LF Tim Duncan (.238, 9 HR, 42 RBI) to go for them.
June 28 – Dallas SP Bubba Wolinsky (6-6, 5.01 ERA) will miss a full year with Tommy John surgery scheduled for a torn UCL.
June 30 – Miners outfielder Jayden Ward (.301, 1 HR, 29 RBI) will be out until the middle of August after breaking his wrist.

FL Player of the Week: SFW INF Julio Moriel (.327, 1 HR, 31 RBI), batting .533 (16-30) with 2 RBI
CL Player of the Week: BOS 1B Larry Rodriguez (.275, 20 HR, 51 RBI), batting .400 (10-25) with 5 HR, 7 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: SAC 1B Steve Wyatt (.331, 17 HR, 58 RBI), socking .352 with 8 HR, 29 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: BOS 1B Larry Rodriguez (.275, 20 HR, 51 RBI), brutalizing pitchers at .333 with 11 HR, 19 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: LAP CL Joy-shan Kuo (5-4, 2.90 ERA, 23 SV), going 4-0 with a 1.69 ERA, 7 SV, 9 K in 13 appearances
CL Pitcher of the Month: LVA SP Larry Broad (9-5, 3-54 ERA), winning all six of his starts with a 1.36 ERA, 33 K
FL Rookie of the Month: DAL 3B/RF Leo Arguello (.403, 0 HR, 5 RBI), who made his debut this month
CL Rookie of the Month: LVA 1B/OF Dave Blair (.291, 1 HR, 13 RBI), all of it this month (but he made his debut back in 2050)

Complaints and stuff

(pokes Cameron Argenziano on the way through the clubhouse) Last chance to quit and learn a decent trade, rook.

No, I don’t think we’ll end up anywhere nice this year. For now, we’re behind the Loggers. The Loggers…! And when I talked to Argenziano, there was bickering in at least two other corners of the room.

Ten games under .500 and 10 runs scored more than conceded. That was somehow more fun last year, all in reverse.

Funny story. I could have had Larry Rodriguez for almost free in a trade with the Titans just ten days ago. But I thought, nah, I can’t, I don’t have a spot for him, really. (hits head against door frame quite violently)

David Barel approached me again for a new contract. I asked him why he with his talent would want to stick around this ********* ******** of ******, to which he didn’t have a great answer at the ready, to be honest. I think he’s just after Nick Valdes’ money…!

The international free agent teen boys now hit the market on Monday. For the Coons, it’s the Crusaders, Titans in an East Coast road trip next week, and then I’ll have three days off to go down the Willamette in a barrel and, with any luck, get smashed against some rocks.

Fun Fact: Mikio Suzuki is batting .357 with runners in scoring position.

He’s going in CLEANUP!

[Westheim]

Raccoons (36-46) @ Crusaders (40-42) – July 1-4, 2052

The Raccoons had to play four games in New York on their way to the All Star break, and would get four more at home with the Crusaders, whom they led 3-1 so far this year. The Crusaders had the third-most runs, but the fifth-most runs allowed in the CL, and a -10 run differential (Coons: +10, somehow).

Projected matchups:
Seisaku Taki (8-5, 2.68 ERA) vs. Ryan Puchalski (2-4, 5.54 ERA)
Rafael de la Cruz (5-4, 3.00 ERA) vs. Neil Hamann (4-7, 4.65 ERA)
David Barel (7-6, 2.96 ERA) vs. Edwin Sopena (7-7, 4.54 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (2-2, 3.28 ERA) vs. Austin Guastella (3-9, 6.07 ERA)

I sensed certain pitching issues when looking at that rotation, which seemed to be sorely missing Jim White, the only Crusaders player on the DL as of Monday. Hamann was the only left-hander to come up against us here.

Game 1
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – C Brewer – P Taki
NYC: SS O. Sanchez – RF Magnussen – 3B Gates – LF D. Rivera – CF Leal – 2B Haney – C O. Ramirez – 1B Bent – P Puchalski

The offense was inept every which way, and on both sides, for the first half of the Monday opener. Both teams had three hits through four innings, but both also had a runner caught stealing (del Toro, Omar Sanchez), and additionally Waters threw a Danny Rivera grounder away for an error and Taki bunted into a force to kill a leadoff single by Aaron Brewer in the third inning. When the Coons put Suzuki and Brewer on base with a *pair* of 1-out singles in the fifth inning, Taki slapped a 1-2 pitch into a 6-4-3 double play, and nobody scored once more. Right away then, Art Bent singled to center, but was doubled off when Puchalski knocked a bunt back to Taki for a 1-6-3 double play.

Top 6th, Waters and Pucks hit singles. Waters stole second, and they were on the corners with one out for Ken Crum, who lined out to Mark Haney, and del Toro, who singled past Mark Haney to bring home Waters, but then was caught stealing to end the inning. The sole run was immediately washed off the board when Adam Magnussen hit a leadoff jack to left against Taki in the bottom 6th.

It didn’t get a whole lot better from there. Waters and Lonzo opened the eighth inning with singles to left-center and center, respectively… but when Lonzo singled, Waters made a bid for third base, but was beaten by a throw by Pedro Leal. Retreating, he found himself in a rundown and killed off by an 8-5-4-6 combo. Lonzo stole second for his 33rd bag of the year, then wheeled around for home plate on Puckeridge’s single to right-center, putting the Coons up 2-1. The Coons had another lineout from Crum to Haney, then loaded the bags on errant pitching by Puchalski, who nevertheless got Suzuki to pop out to strand three runners in a 2-1 stinker. Taki went on to pitch eight innings, but needed over 100 pitches, so the ball went to Hitchcock in the ninth. Rivera, Leal, and Haney went down in order, two on strikes. 2-1 Blighters. Waters 2-5; Lavorano 2-4; Puckeridge 2-4, RBI; del Toro 2-3, RBI; Brewer 3-4, 2B; Taki 8.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 4 K, W (9-5);

Game 2
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – LF del Toro – CF Crum – C Suggs – RF Glodowski – 3B DeMarco – 1B Maldonado – P de la Cruz
NYC: C O. Ramirez – RF Magnussen – 3B Gates – CF Leal – 2B Haney – SS Russ – LF M. Ceballos – 1B Bent – P Hamann

With rain on the horizon, the Raccoons scored two quick ones in the first inning as Waters and del Toro whacked doubles to left and Sean Suggs chipped in an RBI single. When del Toro and Crum went to the corners with a pair of 1-out singles in the third inning and Suggs flew out to Magnussen in rightfield, del Toro went for home, but was thrown out for a 9-2 double play to kill the inning. In between, Leal hit a homer to right to get us to Monday’s final score, 2-1, but the W would not go to Raffy.

The rain came in the fifth inning, lasted an hour, and since Raffy had already thrown 79 pitches to get through four, he wasn’t coming back for the bottom of the fifth. The pen then tried to do pen things; Miles got five outs, but also put Prince Gates on base in the bottom 6th. With Mark Haney up he was double-switched out for Pucks and mostly Crisler, who almost gave up a homer to left, but the ball dropped into del Toro’s glove on the warning track to end the inning. Crisler retired another three, after which righty Josh Simpson put Crum and Suggs on base with two outs in the eighth, bringing up Ed Crispin to bat for Crisler in the deserted #6 slot. To anybody’s surprise, he actually hit an RBI double to right, 3-1, for all of his 10th RBI of the year. DeMarco then of course popped out like **** again. The Crusaders answered with Rick Colwill and Prince Gates singling off Lillis in the bottom 8th. Pedro Leal, a left-handed batter, swatted an RBI double to left-center then, and now the Crusaders had two in scoring positions and two outs. We went to Justin Johns for Haney, who grounded out to short, albeit sharply. Pucks and Waters reached in the ninth inning against Dan Lawrence, but Lonzo popped out and del Toro flew out, and weren’t tack-on runs boring anyway? The Coons then stuck with Johns in the bottom 9th, which netted them a single by ******* ********* Andrew Russ, a walk to Mario Ceballos, another single for David Skelly, and a walkoff double fired out of Omar Ramirez’ thunderstick. 4-3 Crusaders. Del Toro 2-5, 2B, RBI; Crum 2-3, BB; Suggs 2-4, RBI; Crispin (PH) 1-1, 2B, RBI;

(stares into the distance)

Game 3
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – C Suggs – 3B DeMarco – CF Suzuki – P Barel
NYC: SS Russ – RF Magnussen – LF D. Rivera – 2B Haney – 1B Leal – CF M. Ceballos – 3B Bent – C Skelly – P Sopena

While Barel appeared to have the situation under control right from the start, the Coons built a lead by having DeMarco double home Crum in the second, Suggs single home del Toro in the fourth, and then del Toro was up with two outs and Waters and Crum aboard in the fifth inning and buried a ball in the leftfield corner on a 2-1 pitch for a 2-run triple. Suggs grounded out, which sugged, but we were up 4-0, and now we could have the more fun blowing that lead, somehow.

Barel had yet to get the memo; he allowed two hits through six innings, and the Crusaders made incessant weak contact… until they didn’t. Pedro Leal opened the hunt with a leadoff jack to right-center in the bottom 7th, and a Bent single and Skelly double off the wall plated another run for New York. Suddenly the lead was down to 4-2, even though even professional ******** Andrew Russ grounded out to strand Skelly on third base. The tying runs reached base in the bottom 8th with a 2-out walk issued to Haney in a long plate appearance, then a sharp first-pitch single by Leal, which indicated it was time for some relief. Crisler provided whatever the opposite of relief was, throwing a wild pitch to move the tying runs into scoring position, then had Suzuki race down and catch a Ceballos drive on the run to stall the Crusaders out of the inning.

Lo and behold, Dan Lawrence put the first two batters in the ninth inning on base, as Sivertson and Waters reached, and the Coons – after a pitching change to right-hander Ryan Sullivan – made their usual pair of pissy outs, but then Ken Crum SINGLED HOME A RUN. What black devil magic was at work here?? Oh, del Toro grounded out meekly. Order was restored. Then, the bottom 9th, and the opposite of whatever the **** order was. Hitchcock walked the leadoff man, Bent, then conceded singles to Skelly and Brandon Fellows. Russ hit an RBI single to right, which surprised nobody whatsoever, at least not on our team, and Prince Gates pinch-hit for the pitcher in the #2 spot and ended the game with a perfectly placed bases-clearing double to left-center and into the ******* gap. 6-5 Crusaders. Waters 2-5; Crum 2-4, BB, RBI; del Toro 2-5, 3B, 2 RBI; Suzuki 2-3, BB; Barel 7.2 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 3 BB, 4 K;

(void stare)

The Crusaders traded MR Melvin Lucero (3-3, 4.60 ERA, 1 SV) and #98 prospect CL Terry Dwyer to the Rebels before Thursday’s game, picking up catcher Mike Seidman (.296, 1 HR, 35 RBI).

Game 4
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – C Suggs – 3B DeMarco – CF Suzuki – P Wheatley
NYC: SS O. Sanchez – 2B Haney – 3B Gates – LF D. Rivera – CF Leal – RF Fellows – C Skelly – 1B Bent – P Guastella

Wheatley allowed five singles and a wild pitch, plus two runs in the first two innings, and it wasn’t sounding any better than it looked. Skelly and Bent were bunted to scoring position by Guastella, then scored on the wild pitch and an Omar Sanchez single, respectively, in the bottom 2nd. The Crusaders reached the corners with a Gates double and walk drawn by Leal in the bottom 3rd, but Fellows was rung up and Skelly flew out to del Toro to strand the runners.

Top 4th, the Coons produced three on and nobody out, which was surely gonna end well for them, or anybody else involged; del Toro led off with a single, Suggs reached on an error by Haney, and DeMarco walked the plates full. Suzuki scratched out a run with a single through the right side, and Wheats tied the game… by hitting into a run-scoring double play. Guastella walked Waters, but Lonzo grounded out to strand runners on the corners for Portland, and then we got another rain delay. Splendid.

40 minutes or so later, play resumed, and both pitchers continued on about 50 pitches, and got through five still in a 2-2 tie. That was broken when Suggs took the right-hander Guastella deep to right in the sixth inning for a 3-2 Coons lead. DeMarco and Suzuki both singled and were bunted into scoring position by Wheatley, which only invited the New Yorkers to wickedly walk Waters with willfulness. Lonzo lined out on the first pitch. Pucks popped out to strand three. I had trouble breathing.

Wheats ached through the sixth despite a leadoff walk to Leal, but that would be all for him. Larson held the 3-2 lead in the seventh. But the Coons had a relief problem. Crisler and Hitchcock were not available and/or desirable for this game, so a ninth would go back to Johns, for better or worse. So we had to keep stretching the remainder of the ho-hums. That included sending Salcido into the bottom 8th, where he faced two right-handers, allowed a single to Haney and walked Gates, and then was kicked off the mound again. Lillis replaced him against left-hand- … no, pinch-hitters appeared, and Suggs moved the runners to scoring position anyway with a passed ball to ******** Russ, who walked anyway. Ceballos hit a sac fly to center to tie the game and move the go-ahead run to third base. Russ, the despicable *********, stole second base. Fellows grounded out to third, but Skelly hit a single through the left side and plated both runners with seeming ease. Only Art Bent grounded out to end the inning. I was numb. Top 9th, Sullivan pitching. Waters singled. Lonzo reached on a bobble by Haney. Tying runs aboard, nobody out. Pucks grounded out, moving them into scoring position, while Crum ran a full count, then got a crummy strikeout at a flail on a ball in the dirt. Juan del Toro gave a ball a good whack to center. But not past Ceballos. 5-3 Crusaders. Waters 1-2, 3 BB; Suggs 2-4, HR, RBI; Suzuki 2-4, RBI; Wheatley 6.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 3 BB, 2 K;

I didn’t talk to any of the suckers on the way to Boston, but on the plus side that meant I also didn’t strangle any of them on the plane to Massachusetts.

Raccoons (37-49) @ Titans (47-39) – July 5-7, 2052

The Titans were bottoms in hitting and scoring runs, but second in the North. Regardless, nothing good could come out of this series anyway, since they were also conceding the fewest runs in the league, and the Raccoons had no answer to any sort of pitching, not bad pitching, and not good pitching especially. Boston was up 6-3 in the season series.

Projected matchups:
Cameron Argenziano (0-0, 0.00 ERA) vs. Victor Scott (8-4, 2.02 ERA)
Seisaku Taki (9-5, 2.57 ERA) vs. Jordan Ramos (6-7, 4.56 ERA)
Rafael de la Cruz (5-4, 2.97 ERA) vs. Kyle Turay (8-5, 2.48 ERA)

Scott was a left-hander to begin the series. Notable regulars missing with injuries were Tony Lopez, Angel Montes de Oca, and Thomas Turpeau.

Game 1
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – LF Crum – RF Glodowski – 3B DeMarco – 1B Maldonado – C Brewer – P Argenziano
BOS: CF Whitlow – 2B M. Martinez – C R. Gonzalez – 1B L. Rodriguez – 3B J. Rodriguez – LF Bumpus – SS R. Wright – RF Ro. Jimenez – P V. Scott

The first two Critters reached base on a Ryan Wright error and a fastball to the bum, respectively, and Portland made all of a 1-0 lead out of it on fly outs by Pucks and Crum, but under no circumstance could they land a base hit with any sort of fool on base. Scott held them hitless for a while longer, while Argenziano followed up 7.2 scoreless from his debut with another 3.2 without giving up a run, but eventually fell to a Larry Rodriguez single (cough!), walking the other Rodriguez, Jose, and then giving up a 2-out run on another single by Rocky Jimenez, not to be confused with Ricky Jimenez. That tied the game, but at least Scott was easily retired to strand a pair.

Portland’s senior citizen was left to get the team’s first base hit, with Maldo lobbing a single to shallow center with one gone in the fifth inning. Maldo was left right there by the battery, while once the Titans reached the bottom of the order again, Rocky Jimenez homered them in front with a shot to left-center, a solo job that was surely going to be enough. Scott put Critters on the corners to begin the seventh inning then; Ken Crum drew a leadoff walk, stole second in a fit of impatience, and then reached third base when the useless pelt batting behind him found a single in left, the team’s second base hit on the night. DeMarco drew a full-count walk on a dubious call to make it three on and nobody out, and thus instantly doomed the whole endeavor. Maldo lined out to Adam Bumpus, and Brewer flew out to Jimenez. Crum, still impatient, dashed for home, and was thrown out. Crumbs.

Argenziano completed seven, then was followed by Jim Larson’s scoreless eighth, but none of that staved off a budding loss. Righty Eddie Sotelo would face the alleged meat of the order in the ninth inning, popping out Puckeridge to begin the inning. Crum then singled to left. Crispin batted for Glodowski and popped out. Suggs batted for DeMarco and grounded out to second base, which sugged. 2-1 Titans. Crum 1-2, BB, RBI;

And even seven innings and two runs for Argenziano came with an asterisk of giving up a full dozen runners, eight on hits and four on walks.

Game 2
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – C Suggs – 3B Sivertson – RF Glodowski – P Taki
BOS: CF Whitlow – 2B M. Martinez – 1B L. Rodriguez – SS J. Rodriguez – LF Giammarco – C I. Davison – 3B Lettner – RF Ro. Jimenez – P Jo. Ramos

Miguel Martinez struck out in the bottom 3rd, the fourth victim of Taki in the game and the 100th of his career in 125 innings since coming over from Japan. So far, so good. Beyond that, it was all shambles again. Lonzo reached on an error and stole his way into scoring position before being left there to rot in the first inning. The only Coon to have a base hit in three innings was Taki, and Taki was getting whacked around in the same inning he reached triple digits for K’s, with hits by Rocky Jimenez, Eric Whitlow, and Larry Rodriguez, all somewhat sharply hit, producing two runs. Top 4th, Crum doubled to left, del Toro scratched out a single and stole second, but they were left in scoring position by Suggs, who struck out, which sugged, and Sivertson, who grounded out to Rodriguez. Larry, that was, not that it made much of a ******* difference to me.

Top 5th, Glodowski found a leadoff single. Taki struck out trying to bunt in vain, which was such a neat development, and so when Waters singled, Glodowski only reached third base. But Lonzo did come through, rolling a single past Jose Rodriguez to get Glodowski home, 2-1. Pucks grounded to short, Crum flew out to left, and that left Lonzo’s RBI the only run in the inning. Things remained steady after that: by the seventh inning, Taki hit a second single in this game, but then was swiftly doubled up by Matt Waters. At that point I left the ballpark entirely and made for the nearest Irish pub, which thankfully Boston was full of, and didn’t leave until well after the game was over. Taki went eight innings, but got only one more hit – …batter, that was; striking Eric Whitlow in the hand and giving him a broken finger that would leave him out of the game for a month at least. Facing Gabe Blanco, another righty, in the ninth inning, the Coons put del Toro and Suggs on the corners with singles … and nobody out in a 2-1 game. Crispin batted for Sivertson, but walked, so now it was three on and nobody out again. Glodowski promptly struck out, unable to get out of that useless pelt of his. Maldo batted for Taki, and popped out to first base. Matt Waters. Please. Pleeease. No. Grounder to short. Ballgame. 2-1 Titans. Del Toro 2-3, BB; Taki 8.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 7 K, L (9-6) and 2-3;

I lllike Boss-ssson. They have a nice ale. *higgs!*

Matt Waters won a day off (except for pinch-hitting) for being a CL All Star, and while we’d also have pitching representation, Raffy was not selected, and so made the start on Sunday as scheduled.

Game 3
POR: SS Lavorano – 3B Crispin – LF del Toro – 1B Crum – CF Puckeridge – C Suggs – 2B DeMarco – RF Maldonado – P de la Cruz
BOS: CF M. Martinez – LF Giammarco – RF D. Gonzalez – 1B L. Rodriguez – 3B Bumpus – 2B J. Rodriguez – C I. Davison – SS Lettner – P Turay

No runs in the early innings on Sunday, and the only base hit in three innings was a single for Suggs, which led nowhere. Raffy however was inefficient once more, walking three and nicking Jordan Giammarco once, along with four strikeouts, amounting to over 50 pitches. The fourth was quick for him, though, and he struck out the bottom of the order in the fifth, which was always nice to see. Then he even got a skinny 1-0 lead when Lonzo tripled up the rightfield line and scored on Crispin’s groundout in the sixth inning. Raffy then walked Miguel Martinez to begin the bottom 6th, but kept him on base, retiring the next three in order, including a K to Larry Rodriguez and all 20 homers of him. On the other side of the box score, Pucks and Suggs were on base in the seventh, but DeMarco hit into an inning-killing double play – same as he did in the fifth inning, then with just Suggs on base, which still sugged.

The bottom 7th then ended Raffy’s never-gonna-happen no-hit bid when Adam Bumpus doubled to right, and also his shutout bid, when the Titans got him home with an Ian Davison single, and probably also the win, because when have the Raccoons ever scored a second ******* run in a game…? Maldo tried, at least, singling to right in the top 8th, but Waters struck out in Raffy’s spot, and then Lonzo found a 6-4-3 double play.

Facing Sotelo in the ninth again, the Coons loaded the bags with Crispin, del Toro, and Pucks, bringing up Suggs with one out, and I already felt another double play creeping up my furry back. Suggs fell to 1-2, then actually lifted a fly to left that, while caught by Dave Gonzalez, was deep enough to ******* get Ed Crispin across home plate for a sac fly. Suzuki grounded out in DeMarco’s spot, so that was all the offense we could get, and the rest was up to Kevin Hitchcock, which had already worked out so well once this week. This time, Marty Serna almost whacked a first-pitch, game-tying homer to left, but del Toro scratched the bloody thing off the fence for the first out. Then Davison drew a walk and was run for with Wright. Jason Lettner grounded to Crispin, who forked the ball and the batter reached on an error. Ruben Gonzalez, our own Ruben Gonzalez, then batted in the pitcher’s spot, ran a full count, and sat down after swinging through a fastball. Instead, Miguel Martinez singled through the left side, Wright dashed home and scored to tie the game, and the Coons went to extras once Rocky Jimenez flew out to del Toro.

Sivertson led off the tenth with a single off Sam Heisler, but was forced out by Glodowski’s grounder. That useless pelt!! But we still had Lonzo, and Lonzo raked a triple, the second of the game for him, to chase home the useless pelt and give the team a new lead. Of course, getting a runner home from third base with one out was a bit much asked, so Crispin popped out and del Toro rolled over to Lettner at short to strand Lonzo in scoring position. The Coons would try their luck with Crisler in the bottom of the inning, but after two grounders, Adam Bumpus singled to center. Crisler then lost Serna in a full count, and Wright rolled a 2-1 pitch near the third base line, and Crispin had no play. Bags full for Lettner, hitting .234 from the right side. Justin Johns replaced Crisler, Lettner grounded out, and the Coons ended their most recent 5-game spill, just barely. 3-2 Blighters. Lavorano 2-5, 2 3B, RBI; Puckeridge 2-4; Suggs 2-2, RBI; Sivertson 1-1; de la Cruz 7.0 IP, 2 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 4 BB, 9 K;

In other news

July 3 – The Knights deal RF/LF Josh Garris (.301, 3 HR, 18 RBI) to the Stars for whatever is left of SS Leo Villacorta (.234, 0 HR, 8 RBI).
July 4 – The Loggers acquire SP Dave Serio (4-9, 4.62 ERA) from the Indians, along with cash, for two prospects.
July 6 – The Crusaders beat the Canadiens, 4-3, on a walkoff single by NYC OF Brandon Fellows (.294, 4 HR, 8 RBI). It takes a mere 20 innings for the two teams to arrive at a decision. Prior to the Fellows walkoff, neither team scored in 11 consecutive innings, all the way back to the a single run for both in the eighth inning. New York’s Pedro Leal (.279, 10 HR, 40 RBI) goes 0-for-9.
July 7 – A 17-inning game is decided by a 3-run homer mashed by LVA OF Neville van de Wouw (.256, 5 HR, 34 RBI) to beat the Condors, 7-4.

FL Player of the Week: NAS 3B Tyler Lundberg (.316, 3 HR, 23 RBI), hitting .517 (15-29) with 6 RBI
CL Player of the Week: CHA OF Oscar Caballero (.275, 6 HR, 61 RBI), whacking .500 (11-22) with 2 HR, 12 RBI

Complaints and stuff

(ducks under a flying waffle iron)

It’s rough. The losses have piled up, and now the clubhouse has begun to systematically assign blame. All the batters accuse each other off gross imcompetence – and they’re all right. The starting pitchers are cursing the bullpen (not without reason), and the Agitator is blaming me for everything. At least the last one is nothing new.

Despite all the fallout, most of it highly radioactive, but not hitting all that hard, the Raccoons have three All Stars, which is remarkable for a last-place team. Two of them were not even surprising: David Barel and Seisaku Taki, who were pitching well (with a meh record), and were first-time Coons All Stars, although Barel had three prior All Star Games with the Titans. Matt Waters, though in a long slow slump, won the nod to go as well, his third after 2048 and 2049.

I am getting offers of 26-year-old AAA outfielders for Victor Salcido now. I think the other GM’s are mocking me.

When regular baseball resumes after the break, it will do so with a 7-game homestand hosting the Crusaders and Indians.

Fun Fact: Seisaku Taki deserves so much better.

And I will patiently wait for anybody’s arguments that he doesn’t. – (Cristiano rolls a bit closer with notes on his lap and takes a deep breath) – Not THAT patiently though. – (Cristiano rolls back and crumples up the notes)

+++

Side note: This was one of the very rare times in the last few years where I had to abandon a week halfway through in utter disgust, do something else, and come back the next day and pick up the shovel again and keep shoveling the same **** once more. And I can’t even get them ***** traded, because no one wants them. Three long months to go……..

[Westheim]

All Star Game

The Federal League won the All Star Game over the Continental League, 5-3, but MVP honors go to the losing side’s OCT 3B/SS Ed Soberanes, batting 3-for-4 with 2 RBI.

For the Coons, David Barel and Seisaku Taki both pitch scoreless innings in relief. Matt Waters holds second base for the entire game, batting 1-for-4.

Raccoons (38-51) vs. Crusaders (45-44) – July 11-14, 2052

Just a week ago, the Raccoons concluded a series in which they had led every game against the Crusaders in the eighth inning and had gone on to lose three of the four. Here were the Crusaders again, lusting for more, with the season series level at four games apiece. They were now sixth in runs scored, seventh in runs allowed, and still had a rancid rotation we wouldn’t crack open anyway.

Projected matchups:
Jason Wheatley (2-2, 3.25 ERA) vs. Edwin Sopena (7-7, 4.58 ERA)
Rafael de la Cruz (5-4, 2.86 ERA) vs. Jeff Johnson (11-4, 3.48 ERA)
David Barel (7-6, 2.92 ERA) vs. Neil Hamann (4-8, 4.54 ERA)
Seisaku Taki (9-6, 2.55 ERA) vs. Ben Seiter (0-0, 3.38 ERA)

Hamann was the sole left-hander we’d expect to start a game here. Seiter was a 22-year-old rookie about to make his second ABL start. He had been taken at #6 in the draft just two years ago and was ranked the #14 prospect before the season began.

Game 1
NYC: SS O. Sanchez – RF Magnussen – 3B Gates – LF D. Rivera – CF P. Leal – C Seidman – 2B Haney – 1B Bent – P Sopena
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – C Suggs – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – P Wheatley

The Raccoons still had all of Nick DeMarco, Matt Glodowski, Paul Miles, and whoever else was on the readily available list hanging around because they couldn’t give them away for free to another team if they tried, but at least Wheats, while not dominant, didn’t allow a run through four innings, so when Matt Waters became the first Coons base runner in the bottom 4th by drawing a leadoff walk (…), we were potentially in the business, even if for just more heartbreak. That was exactly what we got; Lonzo forced out Waters, but stole second, and Pucks hit a shy single. Crum got nicked, so the bags were full for Juan del Toro, who OF ******* COURSE hit a grounder to Mark Haney for a 4-6-3 double play. Art Bent then leaned into a pitch to reach base to begin the top 5th, was bunted over and scored on Omar Sanchez’ single to right. In other words, ballgame.

Prince Gates’ single, a Danny Rivera triple, and Mike Seidman doubling to center added two more runs in the sixth inning, and Rivera added a 2-out RBI triple to score Adam Magnussen just for sheer annoyance in the seventh. Sopena singled home a 2-out run and finally killed Wheatley’s ****** day with a shot into shallow right in the eighth inning, chasing home Seidman, and the Crusaders also got a run off Paul Miles, who was one of the annoying players that other teams refused to take on, in the ninth inning. Sopena finished a 1-hit shutout, never giving up anything beyond that fifth-inning single by Pucks. 6-0 Crusaders.

Game 2
NYC: SS O. Sanchez – RF Magnussen – 3B Gates – LF D. Rivera – CF P. Leal – C Seidman – 2B Russ – 1B Bent – P J. Johnson
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – 3B Crispin – RF Maldonado – C Brewer – P de la Cruz

Omar Sanchez drew a leadoff walk, stole two bases, and scored on a 2-out double by Rivera, which would probably be the winning run again. For once, I was mistaken. Matt Waters homered the game tied right away when the Coons’ time to bat had come, and in the second inning, Aaron Brewer lobbed a 2-run homer to collect Crispin and give de la Cruz a 3-1 lead. Pucks doubled home Waters in the fifth inning, and while that sounded like everything was under control, it very wasn’t. Raffy was again expertly putting runners on base. A single here, two singles there; from the second through fifth innings, the Crusaders left a guy on third base three times, and didn’t score a run, but they were overall out-hitting the Raccoons, 8-5, so I was still expecting a comeback, and if Raffy wouldn’t blow it – time for which was running out since his pitch economy was abysmal once more, with 85 pitches through five innings – then the bullpen would surely stick another dagger into this ******* game.

But I needn’t have worried, because nothing could go wrong with Jesus Maldonado in the lineup. After del Toro and Crispin opened the bottom 6th with singles and went to the corners, Grandpa lifted a 3-run homer to left that doubled the lead to six runs. Lonzo even hit his first homer of the season, a solo shot in the seventh inning, for an eighth Coons run, a.k.a. a week’s worth.

But, oh, in between Raffy and Brett Lillis had already stumbled for two Crusaders runs in the top of the seventh inning, and then Victor Salcido was given the ball with a 5-run lead in the eighth inning, and fell down an entirely different set of stairs as he faced four batters, and retired but one of them. Andrew Russ singled, Art Bent and Mario Ceballos walked, and Salcido was shanked. Paul Crisler replaced him, got two poor outs from Sanchez and Magnussen, and the threat was dispelled. Just three outs to collect then, and Crisler remained in the game for the ninth inning. Gates singled, Leal singled, Seidman homered, and then Crisler was no longer pitching. Kevin Hitchcock struck out Russ and Bent to get the ******* game ******* over with. 8-6 Raccoons. Waters 2-4, HR, RBI; Crispin 2-3, BB; Maldonado 2-4, HR, 3 RBI;

Game 3
NYC: CF O. Sanchez – RF Magnussen – 3B Gates – LF D. Rivera – C Seidman – 1B P. Leal – 2B Haney – SS Russ – P Hamann
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – LF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – C Suggs – RF Glodowski – 3B Sivertson – CF DeMarco – P Barel

Failing to close a deal with the glue factory down the Willamette, but in view from the ballpark, for them to take the unwanted players, two of them were in the lineup against the left-hander on Saturday. The first run of the game was driven in by left-handed batter Pucks, however, singling home Matt Waters and his leadoff double in the bottom 1st, but New York came back quickly with three singles by the 5-6-7 batters and a sac fly by ******** Andrew Russ to tie the game in the top 2nd. The Crusaders loaded the bases with the bottom half of the order again in the fourth inning, then getting the 6-7-8 on with two singles and a walk drawn by Russ. Hamann struck out, crucially, for the second retirement of the inning, and Sanchez’ grounder was contained by Crum to strand a full set. Magnussen drew a leadoff walk in the fifth inning, but was removed along with Prince Gates in a strike-em-out-throw-em-out situation on a 3-2 pitch.

Even a quick sixth meant that Barel was done before long, throwing 107 pitches for just 18 outs, but he would leave with a W in sight after Ken Crum homered to left in the bottom 6th, 2-1. Suggs and Sivertson then found singles, and DeMarco found an inning-ending double play, which was why I’d try to stuff him into the container for empty bottles behind the ballpark on the way out after the game. We went on to get a clean inning from Jim Larson, and Miles and Johns pieced the eighth together amidst a few pinch-hitting moves by the Crusaders. No, this time Hitchcock blew it, because it was important to mix things up for variety, so your last-place baseball team doesn’t grow stale. He retired the first two in the ninth inning, then walked Russ, walked Rick Colwill, and gave up a 2-2 single up the middle to Sanchez, which funnily enough made it … 2-2. Magnussen struck out instead of doing the mercy move and hit a 3-run homer. Now we’d play 16 innings, great! The bottom of the order was up in the bottom 9th against righty Ryan Sullivan, although to be fair they were all hitting like bottom of the order material. Sivertson, Suzuki, and Crispin produced nothing worth words, and then Crisler went out for the 10th inning. He’d retire six in a row, while the Coons mounted five outs in a row before Glodowski and Sivertson singled off Dan Lawrence. Del Toro had stayed in the game after the fruitless PH appearance earlier and had the winning run on second base with two gone, but rolled one right into Mark Haney’s glove at second base to extend the misery.

The misery also entailed Victor Salcido appearing in the 12th inning, and I had literally zero doubts that this was going to be the game’s final inning then. He literally couldn’t get ANYBODY out. Art Bent promptly singled to begin the 12th inning, but Sanchez hit a comebacker and forced out the lead runner. Magnussen singled to right, Sanchez rushed to third base, then scored on Prince Gates’ sac fly. Lawrence grounded out Suzuki to begin the bottom 12th. Waters walked, but Lonzo and Pucks hacked out and the Coons managed to find another loss in their lunchbox. 3-2 Crusaders. Waters 2-5, BB, 2B; Crum 2-4, BB, HR, RBI; Suggs 2-5; Sivertson 2-5; Crisler 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

Salcido (1-8, 6.68 ERA) was then dumped onto the Alley Cats. Maybe they could figure out what the **** was wrong with him. They had five years to do so. Or feed him to an alligator. Whatever.

Ryan Harmer was promoted to the open bullpen spot.

Game 4
NYC: SS O. Sanchez – RF Magnussen – 3B Gates – LF D. Rivera – CF P. Leal – C Seidman – 2B Haney – 1B Bent – P Seiter
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – 3B Crispin – RF Maldonado – C Brewer – P Taki

The Crusaders flung five singles off Taki in the first three innings, but failed to score, twice stranding a runner on third base and once short-circuiting into a double play. The Coons also stranded three runners the first time through, then put on three runners to begin the bottom 3rd with the 1-2-3 all reaching base for Ken Crum, who hit a long fly to the wrong part of the ballpark and was held to a sac fly by Pedro Leal, but at least that was *a* run on the board. Del Toro hit an RBI single, after which Crispin grounded out and Maldo popped out to strand another two runners.

Taki allowed another single in the fourth, but also hit a double for himself in the same inning. Waters got on base as well, and a 2-out gap double by Pucks ended up scoring both and doubling the lead to 4-0 before Crum flew out. Rivera singled in the sixth, but was doubled up by Leal; Seidman opened the seventh with a sharp single to left, but then was caught stealing on a botched hit-and-run. Bottom 7th, Pucks, Crum, and del Toro all packed their fuzzy tails on base with one gone, all against righty Devin Crawford, and with Crispin batting next. He lined into a double play to Sanchez, with Crum being caught off base. Taki tried to hold the game together anyway; he got through eight untouched and on 108 pitches, which was a lot, but there had also been A LOT of traffic. Leal flew out to Maldo. Seidman grounded out on the first pitch. Haney struck out. Ah! The vaunted old 8-hit shutout…! 4-0 Furballs. Puckeridge 1-1, 3 BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Taki 9.0 IP, 8 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 5 K, W (10-6) and 1-4, 2B;

In other news

July 9 – Cincinnati trades INF Steve Diaz (.278, 8 HR, 47 RBI) to the Scorpions for OF Gustavo Pena (.253, 5 HR, 29 RBI) and #28 prospect CL Willie Santiago.
July 9 – Thunder OF/1B Mike Harmon (.242, 7 HR, 38 RBI) is potentially out for the year with torn ankle ligaments.
July 9 – IND OF Chaz Kokel (.272, 8 HR, 46 RBI) is out with a broken kneecap and will definitely not return in 2052.

FL Player of the Week: NAS 1B/C Jeff Wilson (.378, 2 HR, 14 RBI), batting .600 (9-15) with 1 HR, 11 RBI
CL Player of the Week: MIL INF Zach Suggs (.295, 22 HR, 64 RBI), hitting .571 (12-21) with 2 HR, 5 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Nope, nothing good going on in terms of trades of various bums, and only two weeks plus small change remaining to the deadline.

Should we also forward Juan del Toro to another team? We have him under team control for another four years, but he’s also hit nowhere near what I would have had expected and he might yet give a few interesting prospects back.

The Raccoons signed a 16-year-old right-handed pitcher from the Dominican Republic this week. Jose Rosa got $81k for a signing bonus, has interesting sliders and changeups, but not all that much velocity on the fastball. He might also be the only signing we make this year, since the rest of the players on offer didn’t look much appealing at all.

Home set with the Indians, then a road trip to the two Southeast teams up next.

Fun Fact: 56 years ago today, Boston’s Vicente Navarro no-hit the Crusaders in New York.

The game ended 9-0. It was also the only season that Navarro was a Titan, spending most of his brief career with the Blue Sox. He’s one of the lesser pitchers to have thrown a no-hitter, making only 90 career starts (and 36 relief appearances), and disappearing from the majors after 12 relief appearances with the 2000 Loggers. It’s hard to pin-point a specific occurrence like an injury for his demise. He always had even walk/strikeout numbers; in fact he retired with precisely 238 of each in 556 innings. For his career he went 24-42 with a 4.37 ERA. No saves, but a no-hitter.

[UltimateAverageGuy]

Hi Westheim,

Not to derail the thread but I was curious on your season record holders in the major categories and maybe a top 5 wins, hits, HR and RBI guys for their careers. Been a long great ride reading this!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Westheim]

Originally Posted by UltimateAverageGuy

Hi Westheim,

Not to derail the thread but I was curious on your season record holders in the major categories and maybe a top 5 wins, hits, HR and RBI guys for their careers. Been a long great ride reading this!

Will put something together this week, but for now you have to console yourself with this Sunday night update.

+++

Raccoons (40-53) vs. Indians (49-43) – July 15-17, 2052

Playing the Indians had not left the Raccoons with a lot this year, except for defeats, tears, and late-night fridge raids for some emergency chocolates. The Arrowheads were up 7-2 on the Coons this year, despite being a rather pedestrian seventh in runs scored and fifth in runs allowed. Regulars Bobby Anderson, Chaz Kokel, and Chase Clover were all on the DL, but I was confident we would find a way to get swept anyway.

Projected matchups:
Cameron Argenziano (0-1, 1.23 ERA) vs. Ricky Garcia (4-6, 4.76 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (2-3, 3.53 ERA) vs. Tan Brink (7-7, 3.44 ERA)
Rafael de la Cruz (6-4, 2.87 ERA) vs. Steve Miles (5-2, 3.31 ERA)

We’d get a left-hander to begin the week, then two right-handers.

Game 1
IND: CF A. Mendez – 2B R. White – RF B. Quinteros – 1B Imai – C M. Gilmore – SS de Castro – LF Hare – 3B Ed. Ortiz – P R. Garcia
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – LF Crum – C Suggs – RF Glodowski – 1B Maldonado – 3B DeMarco – P Argenziano

Angel Mendez singled to begin the week, stole second base, and came around on a 2-out single by Toushi Imai, but Matt Waters whacked a homer to get the Coons even in the bottom 1st. While Argenziano whiffed four other batters the first time through the order, the Indians still got another lead in the top 3rd, then with the two batters in between Mendez and Imai; Rusty White singled, Bill Quinteros doubled him home, and all that with two outs. Imai grounded out then. The Coons would get Nick DeMarco on base with a throwing error by Rusty White in the bottom of the same inning, but also expertly stranded him in scoring position.

That was all the damage off Argenziano in his third ABL start, but he also was busy with three walks and six strikeouts in six innings and didn’t get any further than that. He also didn’t get off the hook, with the Raccoons habitually woeful and scattering just three singles after the Waters homer for as long as Argenziano was eligible for his first career win. Glodowski hit a single in the seventh, but was doubled up by DeMarco; the inning before, Pucks had already hit into a double play to get Lonzo’s leadoff single erased. The eighth was just sad from a hitting perspective, and Justin Johns surrendered an insurance run (snort) in the ninth inning on singles by Alex de Castro and Edwin Ortiz. The middle of the order was then axed 1-2-3 by Heath Turner in the bottom 9th to etch another pathetic loss into the record books and my battered soul. 3-1 Indians. Glodowski 2-3;

Game 2
IND: LF R. White – CF A. Mendez – C Poindexter – RF B. Quinteros – 1B Imai – SS de Castro – 2B D. Allen – 3B Ed. Ortiz – P Brink
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – 3B Crispin – RF Maldonado – C Brewer – P Wheatley

Wheatley hadn’t won any of his last five starts, and going by how it began he wouldn’t win this one either. Rusty White singled on his first pitch, and things went downhill from there. Manny Poindexter reached on an error by Waters, while Quinteros walked in a full count. With the bags full, Crispin got a bouncer from Imai, which he flopped for the second error of the ******* inning. The Indians scored two more runs on Imai’s groundout and de Castro’s single, and how were the Coons ever to make up an (entirely unearned) 3-0 deficit?

Crispin made another error in the second inning, which led me to go looking for the blunderbuss and grab a satchel of gunpowder. I was still busy with that when the Raccoons corked a chance in the bottom 3rd. Waters got on base, stole second, and was joined by Pucks, who drew a walk. Ken Crum with two outs singled to center; Waters scored from third base, but Pucks was thrown out by Angel Mendez when he tried to follow, and the inning ended. Subtraction was a topic for the Raccoons in this game – and the next to get subtracted was Juan del Toro, who landed weird on a catch in leftfield to snatch a Rusty White liner, and left the game with a bum knee. Sivertson replaced him.

Bottom 5th, Wheats hit a single past a diving Dan Allen into center to begin the inning. Waters walked, and a wild pitch moved the tying runs into scoring position of a 3-1 game, in which Wheats, if he wasn’t generally sabotaged and lit on fire by his own ******* team, was holding his own well enough, thank you. Brink completed the battle with Lonzo by walking him, which obviously was more sabotage to the rally, since we were now on three runners and nobody out. And wouldn’t you … they fell short here, too. Pucks hit into a double play, which scored Wheats, but Crum flew out to White, and that was that. Bums. All of them. Wheats went seven innings (which means he would have gone eight if not for the three extra batters, at least), but remained on the hook, because the Hometown Hobos couldn’t make anything out of five hits, six walks, and two wild pitches that Tan Brink offered up in the same period.

Alex de Castro’s 1-out triple to left and a sac fly then added an insurance run on Lillis in the eighth inning, but fear not – the Coons were putting runners on base again! Crum reached on an error by Allen Ragen with one out in the bottom of the eighth, and a Sivertson single and a Crispin double to right narrowed the gap to 4-3 and with the pair of them in scoring position for … well, all .190-ish of Maldo and Brewer. Maldo grounded out unhelpfully, while Brewer reached solely by getting nailed with a 1-2 pitch. Sean Suggs batted for Lillis, although my hopes were not extremely high. Lo and behold, Suggs slapped the first pitch over the infielders and into shallow center for a score-flipping, 2-run single! Slap my *** and call me Judy!! Can you believe this!? …and then Matt Waters added an RBI single! And come the ninth, Kevin Hitchcock added a walk, four hits, and four runs, including another triple with two on and two out for de Castro, and the ******* Critters were right ******** back where they had been an inning earlier, except that I was getting an additional can of duckshot. Pucks, to begin the bottom 9th against Cesar Suarez, didn’t make it better by hitting a double to center, and getting thrown out at third base, just before Ken Crum hit ANOTHER ******* double. Groundouts by Sivertson and Crispin stranded him, and also ended the game. 8-6 Indians. Waters 1-2, 3 BB, RBI; Crum 2-5, 2B, RBI; Sivertson 2-3; Crispin 2-5, RBI; Suggs (PH) 1-1, 2 RBI; Wheatley 7.0 IP, 6 H, 3 R, 0 ER, 1 BB, 5 K and 1-2;

(tries his best to stuff the barrel of the blunderbuss deeper into his snout, but just can’t reach the trigger with his paw)

Juan del Toro would miss a week here; the Raccoons did not put him on the DL, because playing a man short and instead having more bums to ship out before the deadline was preferable to having an extra bum promoted from AAA at this point. Besides, it was raining like heck on Wednesday anyway and baseball was cancelled, giving us two straight days off at this point.

Raccoons (40-55) @ Falcons (46-47) – July 19-21, 2052

The Falcons were third in the South, but actually further from first place than the miserly Raccoons, us being in freefall or not. They ranked fifth in runs scored and seventh in runs allowed with a -2 run differential (Coons: +1!). They led the season series, 2-1.

Projected matchups:
Rafael de la Cruz (6-4, 2.87 ERA) vs. Art Schaeffer (9-4, 3.93 ERA)
David Barel (7-6, 2.86 ERA) vs. Hiroyuki Takagi (6-8, 4.54 ERA)
Seisaku Taki (10-6, 2.39 ERA) vs. Chris Jones (3-8, 4.13 ERA)

Only right-handers coming up for this weekend set. And no Mike Allegood or Justin Kristoff; the two outfielders were on the DL, just as closer Kevin Clendenen.

Game 1
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – LF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – C Suggs – 3B Crispin – RF Glodowski – CF Suzuki – P de la Cruz
CHA: CF Caballero – 2B E. Stevens – RF D. Ceballos – SS Woodrome – C Gowin – 3B J. Frazier – LF Arreola – 1B Tinoco – P Schaeffer

Errors by Danny Ceballos and Erik Stevens and 2-out singles by Suggs and Crispin plated two unearned runs for the Coons in the first inning, which was a weird feeling – I wasn’t used to the other team playing worse than us. Thank goodness then that Rafael de la Cruz ****** up the lead right in his half of the first inning, beginning with full counts to Oscar Caballero and Stevens, who walked and singled, respectively, with Ian Woodrome’s double good for two runs then. At least Chris Gowin and Josh Frazier stranded the extra runner. And it didn’t get better afterwards, in any aspect of the game. Lonzo tripled home Suzuki for a 3-2 lead in the second, which the battery then blew with another leadoff walk to Juan Arreola, a throwing error by Suggs, and just general ****-housery in the bottom 2nd. The Coons went on to cram balls into double plays in the third (Suggs) and fourth (Waters), before the Falcons finally took a lead in the bottom 5th. The third walk issued by de la Cruz also came around to score, as Erik Stevens was doubled home by Danny Ceballos with two outs.

Five ****** innings was also all we could get out of our starter once more, which took him a whopping 101 pitches. The Coons went undercover in those middle innings, but returned to the corners in the eighth inning with hits by Crum, who also stole second, and Suggs – both of whom were then stranded on a soggy groundout by Ed Crispin… Paul Miles struck out the side in the bottom 8th to keep the Falcons within a run, but Ben Arner returned the favor in the next half-inning… 4-3 Falcons. Suggs 2-4, RBI; Suzuki 2-4; Brewer (PH) 1-1;

By Saturday morning, David Barel was scratched from the start in the middle game, but not because of injury or illness. It was because he was no longer a Raccoon.

Interlude: Trade

The Raccoons packaged SP David Barel (7-6, 2.86 ERA), INF/CF Nick DeMarco (.225, 3 HR, 22 RBI), and SP/MR Paul Miles (3-1, 3.05 ERA) and dumped the whole lot of them onto the Warriors for OF Fernando Perez (.318, 1 HR, 17 RBI), AAA OF Nick Thomason, and AA SP Colby Bowen.

The Warriors were really keen on Barel. They needed pitching, but could part with an outfielder, even a young-ish one like Perez, who was 26, and would grade as “good” in most aspects of the game. Maybe a touch too clumsy with the paws, and he didn’t have much power to speak of. Thomason was actually from the same mold, but with better paws and even less power, and two years younger. Bowen was a longshot starting pitcher, a sixth-rounder from the 2050 draft.

DeMarco and Miles had no specific value to the Warriors, but were from the basket of deplorables the Raccoons had to urgently get rid of. Both were made out as malcontents in the clubhouse by the coaching staff, and we managed to make the Warriors swallow them (and especially the two years left on DeMarco’s contract) for some decent young outfielders.

The new players all were added to the same level they had been at in the Warriors organization. To make up the numbers in the majors, we also needed to bring up an infielder and a lefty reliever. Steve Richardson had a 4.76 ERA in AAA, and hadn’t pitched for the Raccoons since 2049, but was promoted anyway since Eloy Sencion continued to unravel at record pace even in AAA. Rich Seymour, second-sacker, was also added, mostly for decorative purposes.

Raccoons (40-55) @ Falcons (46-47) – July 19-21, 2052

Due to two consecutive off days and another day off on Monday, the Coons were fine with having only four starting pitchers on the roster at this junction. No fifth starter was needed for a full week from here. Del Toro would miss the entire weekend series with a knee contusion, so we carried an extra outfielder, in fact.

Game 2
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF Perez – C Suggs – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – P Taki
CHA: CF Caballero – 2B E. Stevens – RF D. Ceballos – SS Woodrome – C Gowin – 3B J. Frazier – LF D. Diaz – 1B Briones – P Takagi

Taki gave up four singles the first time through, all in order with two outs in the bottom 2nd, with Mario Briones and Takagi driving in Josh Frazier and Danny Diaz, respectively. I thought it might be enough to defeat him; the Coons had five hits in two runs through the linup… or three hits if you subtracted the two singles that Taki hit himself, and didn’t score any runs while doing so, but in the sixth they got a Puckeridge single and a game-tying 2-run homer from Ken Crum for something novel. The Falcons shrugged, and took a new lead in the bottom of the same inning, putting three 2-out runners on base this time. Ian Woodrome walked, Chris Gowin singled, and Josh Frazier doubled off the wall to give them a 3-2 lead. Diaz popped out to short to strand a pair in scoring position. Ethan Whitehead homered when he batted for Takagi in the seventh, 4-2, and then Taki loaded the bases AGAIN with two outs. Stevens, Ceballos, Woodrome on with a single and two walks, and Taki off, the mound that was. Justin Johns came in and got a groundout from Chris Gowin, and the eighth was mostly uneventful, but we were not quite done yet.

Two-time-ex-Coon Nate Norris got the ninth inning despite a 5.60 ERA to his name, and walked the leadoff batters, Suggs and Crispin. Suzuki popped out, while Glodowski and his useless pelt then reached base hitting for Johns, rolling a comebacker to Norris, but the 36-year-old was too slow to make a play and the bags were full for Matt Waters. The team’s home run leader grounded to Stevens, who got only Glodowski at second, but Waters beat the return throw and a run scored. Lonzo batted with two gone and the tying run at third base, rolled a wheezer near the third base line – but legged the dumb thing out, and Crispin hustled home while Frazier had no play…! All even at four! Carlos Vasquez then got Pucks to ground out, and Lillis got almost taken deep by the left-handed batting Ceballos in the bottom 9th, but somehow the game found its way to extras.

By the 11th, two more infield singles to Rich Seymour, batting in the #9 spot for Larson, and Pucks, along with a walk drawn from Vasquez by Waters, loaded the bases for Ken Crum with two gone, but Crum grounded out. No good chances developed for either team in extra innings, with which I meant a runner in scoring position with less than two outs. The Falcons still walked off in the 13th inning against Paul Crisler, who allowed a single to Chris Gowin, who was forced out by Diaz. With two outs, Briones socked a ball into the corner to end the game. 5-4 Falcons. Lavorano 2-6, RBI; Crum 2-6, HR, 2B, 2 RBI; Suzuki 3-6; Glodowski (PH) 1-1; Seymour (PH) 1-1; Harmer 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K;

Game 3
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF Perez – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – C Brewer – P Wheatley
CHA: CF Caballero – 2B E. Stevens – RF D. Ceballos – SS Woodrome – 3B J. Frazier – LF D. Diaz – C Payne – 1B Briones – P C. Jones

Hitless in six starts, Wheats (2-3, 3.22 ERA) tried his luck with the Falcons on regular rest. He went out with a 1-0 lead following a Lonzo triple and Pucks’ sac fly, held that line despite some insecurities with two walks in the second inning, then had it enlarged to 3-0 when Pucks found both the 1-2 batters on base in the third inning and doubled them home with a drive down the right-center gap. Puckeridge then scored on groundouts by Crum and Perez, who got his first brownshirt RBI, 4-0. But Wheats remaind a-wobble; he nailed Stevens with two outs and two strikes in the bottom 3rd. There was nobody on base up to that point, which was good, since he then uncorked two wild pitches to move the runner to third base and ran the count full before Danny Ceballos lifted a fly to Perez to end the inning. Woodrome worked a leadoff walk in the bottom 4th, but was doubled up when Frazier grounded to short.

And somehow, the Falcons had yet to find a base hit, but that changed in the fifth inning. Ricky Payne hit a leadoff single after battling Wheats for nine pitches. Briones doubled on the very next offering. Whitehead flew out easily, but Caballero singled home a run, Stevens singled home a run, and with two outs, Woodrome homered to right. Five hits, five runs, five innings and done for Wheatley. The Coons appropriately responded by loading the bases with three 1-out singles by Perez, Crispin, and Suzuki in the sixth inning, then had Aaron Brewer ground to the short side of second base for … no, somehow Woodrome missed it. That could have been two, but it was none, and instead a 5-5 game. Maldo batted for Wheatley and struck out. Waters grounded to second. Because why WOULD we want to score more runs…??

After Jim Larson walked the bags full in the bottom 6th, Lillis conceded two runs; one on a Ceballos groundout, and the other on a wild pitch. Another Lonzo triple in the seventh was met by a pop by Puckeridge, but Ken Crum singled him home, 7-6. That inning fizzled out, as did the eighth with Waters and Lonzo on the corners, and Pucks striking out to strand them. Norris was back at it with shenanigans in the ninth inning, giving the Coons the tying run on base for free by nicking Ken Crum. Perez flew out easily. Crispin forced out Crum at second base with another pathetic grounder. Sean Suggs batted for the pitcher in the #7 spot. He flew out to center. 7-6 Falcons. Waters 2-5; Lavorano 4-5, 2 3B; Suzuki 2-4; Brewer 2-4, RBI;

We had 14 hits. They had six hits.

In other news

July 16 – The Buffaloes literally walk off against the Capitals in the ninth inning, drawing four walks for a 6-5 win. Felix Marquez (.255, 2 HR, 25 RBI) draws the 2-out bases-loaded walk to win the game against WAS CL Ryan Dow (2-2, 2.40 ERA, 25 SV).
July 18 – Dallas sends SP Arthur Pickett (9-9, 4.59 ERA) to the Cyclones for four prospects, but the top-ranked one in the package is #134 C Zachery Norwood.
July 18 – The Knights traded OF William Kulak (.276, 5 HR, 36 RBI) to the Buffaloes for MR Leonardo Ramos (2-1, 5.19 ERA, 1 SV) and a prospect.
July 19 – DEN C Blake Mickle (.248, 9 HR, 48 RBI) hits for the cycle on a 4-hit, 4-RBI day while the Gold Sox thrash the Miners, 18-3. It’s the second cycle of the year after Nate Culp’s in April, and the second cycle against the Miners in less than two years.
July 19 – The Falcons lose CL Kevin Clendenen (3-4, 3.35 ERA, 20 SV) for the year; the 35-year-old needs surgery for a torn labrum.
July 19 – It’s also season over for Gold Sox INF Rick Price (.263, 4 HR, 33 RBI), who has been felled by ruptured foot tendons.
July 19 – The Wolves score five runs in the first inning against the Blue Sox, then never score again until the Blue Sox complete a 14-inning, 6-5 win.

July 20 – SFW LF Mario Villa (.352, 11 HR, 69 RBI) reaches the mark of 2,000 hits with a 3-hit day against the Buffaloes, who fall to the Warriors by a score of 3-2. The third hit is the milestone, a double off TOP MR Josh Rella (3-3, 5.68 ERA).
July 20 – INF/LF Brian Kaufman (.281, 1 HR, 28 RBI) is traded from the Wolves to the Cyclones for 1B Gabriel Brown (.282, 3 HR, 29 RBI).
July 20 – The Buffaloes receive RF J.P. Angeletti (.262, 5 HR, 22 RBI) and almost $2M in cash from the Thunder, parting with 35-year-old infielder Josh Jackson (.421, 0 HR, 1 RBI), who spent most of the season in AAA so far, and #185 prospect OF/1B Jake Griggs.
July 20 – DAL C Ruben Zamora (.273, 5 HR, 33 RBI) drives in five runs on four singles as the Stars take the Rebels apart, 14-0.

July 21 – One day after Mario Villa, CIN 3B Jesus Burgos (.310, 6 HR, 57 RBI) also collects his 2,000th career hit in a 4-1 win over the Scorpions. He singles off SAC SP Matt Weber (6-2, 3.15 ERA) in the first inning for the milestone. The 2044 FLCS MVP – also with Cincy before an intermediate stint in Vancouver – has hit .305 with 86 HR and 818 RBI for his career, and has stolen 269 bases. He was an All Star three times.
July 21 – The Blue Sox accuse the Capitals of sending them damaged goods when SP Cory Ellis (7-6, 2.54 ERA), arriving in Nashville from Washington in June, is out for up to ten months to have a torn flexor tendon fixed up.
July 21 – A broken wrist in his non-throwing arm might cost SAL SP Blake Sparks (7-6, 2.40 ERA) a month and a half on the DL.
July 21 – ATL SS Leo Villacorta (.273, 0 HR, 15 RBI) could be out for the year with a bad concussion.
July 21 – The Caps scoop outfielder Dan Martin (.240, 4 HR, 26 RBI) from the Aces in exchange for UT Eddy Luna (.246, 3 HR, 24 RBI) and a prospect.

FL Player of the Week: WAS 3B Randy Wilken (.255, 14 HR, 48 RBI), batting .500 (12-24) with 2 HR, 7 RBI
CL Player of the Week: VAN CF Damian Moreno (.306, 11 HR, 54 RBI), stirring .565 (13-23) with 1 HR, 6 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Getting rougher.

The 1997 Raccoons dropped 40 games compared to the 1996 Raccoons, and we might yet give them a run for harshest collapse in franchise history. Or does anybody think this team has another 15 wins in them. They have so far only won four games in the entire ******* month.

And EIGHT ONE-RUN LOSSES.

I have rarely seen a starter with a sub-3.00 ERA that is this close to getting sent back to AAA. Raffy goes on my tail rings, and it needs to stop quick. The same could be said for almost any player on the team, really…..

The Wednesday rainout will be made up on August 20 as part of a double header during the last Indians visit to Portland.

The Coons will take their losing to Atlanta by Tuesday, then return home for a single series against the Bayhawks.

Fun Fact: Career Warriors LF Mario Villa, 31, has four batting titles to his name.

Also five All Star appearances, five Platinum Sticks, and no Gold Glove, because he’s never had much defense to go around, and was always hidden in leftfield in the vain hope nobody would notice him while the other team was batting, and it’s gotten worse even as he’s only 31. Will his body hold together for another 1,000 or more hits?

So far he’s .341/.399/.495 with 112 HR and 835 RBI for his career. He also stole 323 bases so far, with a stolen base title in 2044 when he was 23, nipping 53 bags. In recent years he hasn’t gotten past 20 in a season.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (40-58) @ Knights (62-35) – July 23-25, 2052

The Knights led the South, which didn’t happen all that often, and that was with six free wins against the Raccoons to spare. So far they led the season series 2-1, with a second place in runs scored and fourth in runs allowed, along with a +60 run differential. The Coons had finally 1-run-lost themselves under .500 in that regard, now at -2.

Projected matchups:
Cameron Argenziano (0-2, 1.74 ERA) vs. Esteban Duran (9-2, 3.29 ERA)
Rafael de la Cruz (6-5, 2.98 ERA) vs. Kodai Koga (8-8, 3.95 ERA)
Seisaku Taki (10-6, 2.53 ERA) vs. Joe Byrd (11-5, 3.11 ERA)

Only right-handed starters coming up in this series.

Game 1
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – C Suggs – LF Perez – 3B Crispin – RF Maldonado – P Argenziano
ATL: CF Royer – 2B S. Turner – RF Alade – 1B J. Rogers – LF Kirkwood – SS Housey – C Arroyo – 3B Thibault – P E. Duran

For something wicked, the Raccoons did not get a base hit until the fourth inning in the Tuesday opener, but when Ed Crispin singled to center to get them into the H column, they already led the game 2-1. The Knights had all worked together in the second inning, loading the bases with the 5-6-7 batters, who in order reached on an error by Sam Turner, getting nailed, and a full-count walk. Maldo drew another walk with the bases loaded, tying the game at one, and Argenziano gave himself the lead with a sac fly to Steve Royer, who had earlier in the bottom 1st led off with a single to center, and had scored on a groundout by Jay Rogers. Neither team found a second base hit in four innings, but Pucks singled home Lonzo, who had found the left-center gap for a triple, to tack on a run with one gone in the fifth inning.

So far, so well, but of course it couldn’t stay like that. After conceding one hit through four innings, Argenziano was raped for six hits and five runs to begin the bottom 5th. They just kept whacking the baseball. Danny Arroyo singled, Thomas Greeley (who had replaced an ejected Bobby Thibault) doubled, and Duran hit an RBI single for the first run in the inning, and it just kept going like that. Argenziano was yanked, with Paul Crisler conceding a sixth run for him by throwing a wild pitch and giving up a sac fly to Matt Housey. Crisler then loaded the bases with the 8-9-1 batters to begin the sixth inning, at which point the Raccoons gave up and sent Steve Richardson. He conceded a run on a groundout, walked Rogers, and then gave up a grand slam to Chris Kirkwood. Matt Waters hit a solo homer in the top of the seventh then, which was so cute, and Lonzo singled and Pucks tripled to score another run the other way round. Sean Suggs even singled home Puckeridge. Lo and behold, once they’re down nine runs, they can suddenly play the ******* game.

Well, somewhat. Briefly. The Knights weren’t done with big innings yet. Ryan Harmer had a scoreless bottom 7th, but the Coons needed two innings from him. They didn’t get it. The first six Knights in the bottom 8th all reached base. Sam Turner was nicked with a 1-2 pitch, and Jon Alade and Jay Rogers both walked. Chris Kirkwood singled in a run, and Matt Housey added another. Then Harmer added a run with a wild pitch. Danny Arroyo plated two more with a sharp hit. Harmer was greatly harmed, and Hitchcock had to finish the inning and the game, ultimately, amidst a complete meltdown of all things holy and not. 17-6 Knights. Lavorano 2-5, 3B; Puckeridge 2-5, 3B, 2 RBI;

I don’t even know what to say anymore.

Game 2
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – C Suggs – LF Perez – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – P de la Cruz
ATL: CF Royer – C Cass – RF Alade – 1B J. Rogers – 2B S. Turner – 3B Thibault – LF Worden – SS Housey – P Koga

Come Wednesday, the Raccoons had three hits, a single and a triple, the first time through, but no runs. The singles were in the first inning, but Waters and Pucks were left on the corners, and the triple in the second inning, when Suzuki was stranded. The good news was that Suzuki and Pucks eventually did collaborate on the game’s first run, all the way in the fifth inning, when the former drew a leadoff walk, was bunted to second by Raffy, and singled home with two outs by Pucks. Speaking of Raffy, he somehow managed to expend 94 pitches on five shutout innings, casually adding to the general sense of overwhelming frustration I was feeling about the team. He got two more outs in the bottom 6th, but walked Matt Worden and was lifted. Jim Larson walked Housey, but at least was kind enough to get the last out of the inning from Kodai Koga…

Suzuki and Waters reached base again in the seventh inning and stole their way into scoring position with one out, but Lonzo’s sharp groundout to third base and Puckeridge’s fly to right netted the Raccoons zero runs, but Larson and Lillis held the fort in the bottom 7th. The eighth was weird then. Crum hit a single, and Suggs hit a homer, 3-0. Even weirder, Perez and Crispin reached, and after Suzuki popped out, the Coons wanted to use Lillis in the bottom of the inning, so he was told to bunt, at which he failed grotesquely. By two strikes, he was told to stop his clownish attempts and instead swing away if he got a good one. He never got one and Koga walked him in a full count, filling the bases and filing for his own demise. Estevan Bernal replaced him, but Koga’s line exploded when Matt Waters hit a hanging breaking ball into the seats in leftfield. GRAAAAAND SLAAAAAAMMM!!!

And that was the ballgame. The Raccoons didn’t reach again, but also didn’t have to, while Lillis and Crisler pitched the game to completion for Portland. 7-0 Critters. Waters 2-3, 2 BB, HR, 4 RBI; Puckeridge 3-5, RBI; Crum 2-5; Suggs 3-5, HR, 2B, 2 RBI; Suzuki 2-4, BB, 3B;

Game 3
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – LF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – RF Glodowski – CF Suzuki – 3B Crispin – C Brewer – P Taki
ATL: CF Royer – C Cass – RF Alade – 1B J. Rogers – LF Kirkwood – 2B S. Turner – 3B Thibault – SS Housey – P J. Byrd

Lonzo singled, stole second, was put around to score on Pucks’ looping single to right, and the Coons had a 1-0 lead in the first. Oh if only things were always this easy…! The Coons even added a 3-run third inning with hits from Pucks, Crum, Glodowski (who singled home a pair), and Suzuki (RBI triple) to reach the lofty heights of 4-0 for consecutive games.

It started subtly. Lonzo was caught stealing in the fourth inning, ending a situation with him and Brewer on the corners by making the third out. Taki threw plenty of balls in the bottom of that inning, but worked through it alright. Then the bottom 5th began with three on and nobody out. A Turner single, a walk drawn by Thibault, and an error by Ken Crum. Byrd then got ahead 3-1 before popping out, which surely pleased his manager. Royer’s sac fly was the only run for the Knights in the inning, but Taki also walked Danny Arroyo (who had replaced an injury Tyler Cass the inning before) before Alade left the bags full with a grounder to short. While dark clouds accumulated overhead, figuratively and literally, Rogers hit a sharp leadoff single in the sixth, but Kirkwood’s grounder to Waters cleaned up everything, 4-6-3. The seventh though saw Thibault and Housey lead off with a loud single and double, and Taki was yanked for whatever benefits the bullpen would be able to offer. Justin Johns replaced him. He fought the pinch-hitting Worden to a draw when Worden slapped another sharp bouncer, but right at Crum for the first out, and the runners froze. Royer then hit a sharp liner – foul. Seconds later, thunder clapped and the skies opened. Torrential rain sent the game to a delay in a real hurry. The storm raged for hours. The game was eventually called off. The Coons eloped with a series win when the Knights had the tying run at the plate and one out in the inning. 4-1 Bandits. Lavorano 2-4; Puckeridge 2-4, RBI; Suzuki 2-2, 3B, RBI;

Now let’s get out, boys, quick, before they call the feds on you…!

Trade

Juan del Toro (.275, 6 HR, 37 RBI) missed the entire Knights series still with a bum knee, and in fact never appeared as a Raccoon again. Wholly disappointing with a .721 OPS and now merely contributing to a crowded outfield, del Toro was shipped off to the Cyclones on Friday for the #2 pick from the 2051 draft, LF/RF/1B Trent Brassfield, who was not even 20, but was already coming to grips with AA pitching. Strong on the speed side, but not so much with the glove. But if his power potential would develop as marked on Pat Degenhardt’s scouting report, I’d gladly work out a way to hide him in leftfield in a few years’ time.

#28 pick from 2050, SP Phil Baker, 6-10 with a 4.14 ERA in AAA, would take the roster spot to make his ABL debut on Saturday then in what was previously David Barel’s, then an open spot in the rotation.

Raccoons (42-59) vs. Bayhawks (41-59) – July 26-28, 2052

Two teams awaiting the winter. San Fran was fourth in runs scored and second in runs allowed… from the bottom of course. The Coons even led the season series, 4-2, so, tee-hee, who knows, maybe we could win THREE in a row.

Projected matchups:
Jason Wheatley (2-3, 3.56 ERA) vs. Juan Arrocha (5-7, 5.27 ERA)
Phil Baker (0-0) vs. Tony Martinez (1-7, 5.01 ERA)
Cameron Argenziano (0-3, 3.96 ERA) vs. Milt Cantrell (8-10, 4.24 ERA)

Martinez was the only left-hander drawing up here for us.

Game 1
SFB: SS Dau – 2B Peltier – RF Munn – 1B Witherspoon – CF M. Roberts – C A. Mercado – LF Fink – 3B A. Diaz – P Arrocha
POR: SS Lavorano – 3B Crispin – LF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – C Suggs – CF Suzuki – RF Glodowski – 2B Seymour – P Wheatley

Singles by Crum, Suggs, Glodowski, and Seymour scored all of one run in the bottom 2nd before Wheats whiffed and Lonzo popped out to Adam Peltier, but the Bayhawks then immediately started the top 3rd with John Fink tripling to right-center and scoring on Alonzo Diaz’ single to left. Diaz was forced out on a bad bunt by Arrocha, but Todd Dau’s double to left-center and Peltier’s sac fly gave the Baybirds a 2-1 lead anyway before Danny Munn’s groundout ended the inning. Wheats, who last won a game more than six weeks earlier, saw the 7-8 batters reach on leadoff base hits AGAIN in the fifth inning, then with a pair of singles, Diaz’ being of the infield variety. Arrocha had another bad bunt, though, and this time Wheats went to third base, and then Crispin even hurled it back across to Crum for a 1-5-3 double play. Todd Dau then was out to Lonzo. That was the last out Wheats got.

Rich Seymour reached base to begin the bottom 5th when he was drilled by Arrocha. Seymour snarled, but went to first base, then was bunted to second by Wheats, and eventually stranded in scoring position, which was a good old tradition we had around here. The next half-inning then began with Adam Peltier going yard to left, which felt all the better knowing that he was a former Coons farmhand, but was immediately trumped by an even longer homer to right by Danny Munn, 4-1. Wheats then plunked Sam Witherspoon with a 2-2 pitch, which obviously wasn’t intentional, but Witherspoon slammed his bat down, pointed and yelled, and then stormed the mound without a word from Wheatley. When Witherspoon was halfway there, Wheats shrugged with a little sigh of exasperation that was very familiar to everybody frequently being around me in the office, flung his hat and glove, then pounded Witherspoon in the snout before the first baseman got a swing in himself. All bedlam broke loose, benches and bullpens clearing, and the Coons’ bench joined armed with roast spits, except for Maldo, who went into battle with his old man walking cane. Fighting continued for at least five minutes before order was restored by the umpires and everybody collected their gaps and fake teeth – (cough) Maldo (cough) – and returned to their place, less Wheats and Witherspoon, who were both tossed from the game, but only one of them was bleeding from the mouth. (grins proudly)

Of course, taking Wheats off the hook would be a bit much at this point, so while Maldo pinch-hit for a 2-out single in the bottom 7th and Lonzo reached on an error by Justin Bator, who replaced Witherspoon at first base, *and* Crispin tripled to center to shorten the gap to 4-3, Pucks of course made an out, and Danny Munn instead homered off Justin Johns in the top 8th to restore a 2-run lead. Brad Barnes inherited that for the bottom of the ninth inning. Perez batted for Seymour with one out and walked, and Waters batted in the pitcher’s spot and hit into a game-ending double play. 5-3 Bayhawks. Maldonado (PH) 1-1;

Wheats was suspended for long enough to create more problems for the dissolving Coons, but for the time being we had to drag a debutee through the middle game.

Game 2
SFB: SS Dau – 2B Peltier – RF Munn – 1B R. Correa – CF M. Roberts – C A. Mercado – LF Fink – 3B A. Diaz – P T. Martinez
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – LF Crum – C Suggs – RF Glodowski – 1B Maldonado – 3B Sivertson – P Baker

The #101 prospect retired his first three ABL batters, then walked Ricky Correa and conceded that run on an Anton Mercado triple in the second inning. By the third, the Bayhawks had him on the run with another walk and three sharp hits. A throwing error by Glodowski, the useless pelt, also didn’t exactly help. Three runs scored, two of which Matt Waters made up when he hit his 18th homer of the season in the bottom of the inning.

Baker threw a busy six innings, with five hits, four walks, and eight strikeouts before being lifted. At that point he was still down 4-2, with the Coons on all of two base hits until Lonzo singled in the bottom 6th and was stranded in scoring position. The Coons went through the motions; Crisler had a scoreless inning, Richardson very much did not, being taken deep by Anton Mercado for a 2-run homer in the eighth, the bottom of which began with singles by the rancid brothers of Sivertson and Seymour, and then Waters jabbed one into a 6-4-3 double play. The Coons never reached base again after that. 6-2 Bayhawks. Seymour (PH) 1-1;

Maud, yes? Nick Valdes called?

(long silence)

About what?

Game 3
SFB: 1B R. Correa – 2B A. Diaz – SS Dau – C A. Mercado – 3B B. Riley – CF Fink – RF M. Roberts – LF Munn – P Cantrell
POR: 2B Waters – 3B Crispin – LF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – C Suggs – CF Perez – RF Glodowski – SS Sivertson – P Argenziano

Argenziano came, saw, and walked four batters in the first three innings, although double play grounders by Diaz and Bradley Riley helped cut the sheer number of unnecessary runners down. Neither team had a base hit the first time through, but Matt Waters then gave the Coons a 1-0 lead in the bottom 3rd with a 2-out homer to left. The Baybirds didn’t get a base hit for four and two thirds, then, funnily enough, got three singles in a row from the 1-2-3 batters with Danny Munn already on base for having been hit in the foot by a wayward breaking ball. Diaz and Dau both drove home a run to flip the score before Mercado struck out. Despite his various bouts of wildness and a total of five walks, Argenziano made it to the seventh inning stretch in this game, but didn’t make it off the hook and would remain winless in his fifth start in the majors as well. Neither team managed more than three base hits through seven.

Riley singled off Larson in the eighth, but was stranded when Lillis took over. Lillis entered in a double switch with Maldo, who saw Sivertson single off Cantrell to begin the bottom 8th, then whacked a double down the line to put the tying and go-ahead runs in scoring position. And yes, of course the Coons ****** even that one up. Waters was out with a comebacker to the pitcher. Crispin struck out. Pucks hit an RBI single behind a reaching Dau, then was caught stealing. Lillis held the line in the ninth, and Lonzo singled in Suggs’ place in the bottom of the ninth, then was caught stealing by Mercado, too, which sugged, too. Fernando Perez then drove a double to the base of the wall in right, which combined with a funny bounce, would probably have been a W with Lonzo starting from first base. Instead, Aaron Brewer pinch-hit for Lillis, grounded out, and sent the game to extras. The Coons had used Hitchcock in a hopeless spot the day before, so the ball went to Harmer in the tenth inning, the most rested of the remainders. He had a 1-2-3 tenth, and then Sivertson had another leadoff single against Patrick Jones in the bottom 10th. Peltier overran the ball for an error and an extra base, and then Maldo whiffed, Waters didn’t get a chance, and Crispin popped out. Pucks ran a full count before hitting a ball about 420 feet… high, not deep. It actually after a good old while came down in Bradley Riley’s glove near home plate. When Harmer returned, the Bayhawks opened the 11th with singles from Riley, Bator, and Peltier, and took a 3-2 lead on a Munn sac fly, which was somehow all they scored in the inning. The tying run reached base right away against Brad Barnes in the home half of the 11th then, but only because Ken Crum’s grounder was crummily fumbled by Todd Dau. Suzuki batted for Harmer, hit into a fielder’s choice, then made it to second when Perez grounded out. Brewer popped out to complete the sweep. 3-2 Bayhawks. Lavorano (PH) 1-1; Sivertson 2-4;

In other news

July 23 – Condors OF Dustin Ransford (.277, 3 HR, 33 RBI) is expected to miss six weeks with a torn quad.
July 23 – NAS C Jose Cantu (.276, 10 HR, 49 RBI) beats the Pacifics, 1-0, with a home run, while the Blue Sox carry a combined no-hitter between SP Luke Moses (8-6, 4.69 ERA), who leaves injured in the third inning, and three relievers into the ninth inning before a single by LF/RF/1B Sal Rodrigues (.272, 3 HR, 32 RBI) off NAS CL Tommy Gardner (3-3, 1.32 ERA, 22 SV) breaks it all up.
July 24 – The Falcons have a new catcher, acquiring Kevin Weese (.322, 9 HR, 54 RBI) from the Aces for four prospects.
July 25 – The Canadiens pick up MR Dan Lawrence (4-3, 2.44 ERA, 2 SV) from the Crusaders for a prospect.
July 26 – The Titans send 1B Elias Rodriguez (.250, 1 HR, 12 RBI) to the Condors and receive INF Jesse Steel (.192, 0 HR, 8 RBI) and a prospect.
July 26 – L.A. acquires INF Jeremy Stalker (.275, 1 HR, 9 RBI) from the Miners for the price of CL Joy-shan Kuo (5-4, 2.63 ERA, 28 SV) and a dull prospect.
July 27 – The Condors swap CL Kevin Daley (3-4, 3.91 ERA, 10 SV) to the Rebels for five prospects, including #98 CL Terry Dwyer.
July 27 – Aces 3B/SS Jeremy Welter (.267, 11 HR, 48 RBI) could miss three weeks with a herniated disc.

FL Player of the Week: DEN LF/CF Sandy Castillo (.340, 10 HR, 71 RBI), hitting .583 (14-24) with 13 RBI
CL Player of the Week: SFB LF/RF Danny Munn (.234, 13 HR, 40 RBI), swatting .429 (9-21) with 4 HR, 6 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Confession time. (sits down behind the desk and pours the Capt’n Coma into a glass, which means it’s gonna be extra dismal)

I talked to various teams all week about trading not just random misfits like Nick DeMarco, or just recent additions that didn’t make the product on the field better or watchable like David Barel. I have talked about trading the holiest of holies. Well, almost.

I have had talks about trading Wheats and Waters. Besides Maldo, these are the last remaining three-ringed Coons from the 2040s dynasty. When that one was on the wither a few years ago, the logic was to keep them, because they would still be of good use for the next competing Coons team. Which was apparently 2051, and just that.

Well, are they again this time? Because it only seems to be getting worse. And I feel like I am betraying them and stabbing them in their little hearts. Wheats is mere weeks away from 10/5 rights – he can refuse a trade in the winter. It would have to be done by Wednesday. And… (spins half-filled booze glass between his paws on the desk) …and, oh, nothing major. I just… I just feel like my insides are collapsing.

Trent Brassfield was originally a target that would have cost Wheats, but the Cyclones were very glad to get offensive help from del Toro when the option came up, and I was glad to part with that particular disappointment. I just wish I could have had my Bubba Wolinsky back.

The “too juicy to trade” epithet now stuck with the Takis, Pucks, and Lonzos on the roster. Few other things were really nailed down, and surely not people like Sean Suggs and Ken Crum. While I had nothing against Crum in particular, it was about collecting prospects now.

Not that I’m trying to make two wrongs right, but I am slightly miffed that Wheats got a 6-game suspension and Witherspoon got only two games. That’s hardly enough time for a dentist appointment to realign his kisser!

Oh, please don’t fail to notice that we’re in line for the #1 pick by now.

Next week: Condors, Loggers, more tears.

Fun Fact: The Condors and Loggers are the only CL teams the Raccoons have a winning record against this year.

Exclaim that while you can…

[Westheim]

Raccoons (42-62) @ Condors (43-62) – July 29-31, 2052

A real mud series at the really wrong time. Both teams were still trying to unload players for prospects during what was the last set of games before the non-waiver trade deadline. Both were also in last place, with the Coons up 4-2 over the course of the season. The Condors were bottoms in runs scored and eighth in runs allowed, with a -101 run differential. The Raccoons, on the other paw, were already guaranteed to win a paltry single-digit amount of games in July, even with a sweep.

Projected matchups:
Rafael de la Cruz (7-5, 2.84 ERA) vs. Tony Llorens (7-7, 3.43 ERA)
Seisaku Taki (11-6, 2.43 ERA) vs. Hyuma Hitomi (4-8, 4.46 ERA)
TBD vs. Jayden Woods (2-4, 5.30 ERA)

Llorens was the only left-hander available. Notable DL occupants for Tijuana included Dustin Ransford and reliever Jake Hill.

The Wednesday start would have been Wheats’, but he was suspended. There was at this point no plan in place to replace him in any way.

Game 1
POR: 3B Sivertson – SS Lavorano – 2B Waters – LF Crum – RF Glodowski – CF Perez – C Brewer – 1B Maldonado – P de la Cruz
TIJ: 2B C. Navarro – RF G. Cabrera – C Mittleider – LF T. Duncan – 1B E. Rodriguez – CF Blackburn – 3B Whitehurst – SS Chapa – P Llorens

At this point, every absence from the lineup potentially meant that somebody was in a trade offer being floated. So was Pucks sitting because of the left-hander or …..?

In both of the first two innings, the Coons put a pair of runners on with base hits and nobody out, and stranded them, the 3-4-5 and 9-1-2 hitters being guilty here. Perez hit a homer to open the top 2nd, but then Brewer and Maldo were left on again, and Brewer would be stranded on third base for a second time in the fourth inning, which sounded horrible, and was. At least Raffy somehow retired the Condors in order the first time through and on only 25 pitches, leading me to think we had an impostor on our paws. Just before I could get excited, he then ran a full count on Chris Navarro to begin the fourth, actually walked Gil Cabrera, threw a wild pitch, and somehow eluded actual punishment in-game with weak outs from Jon Mittleider and Tim Duncan.

Portland tacked on two in the fifth inning, 3-0, despite Lonzo getting caught stealing after a leadoff single. Waters doubled, Crum walked, and Glodowski doubled home Waters. The bases would then fill up for Maldo to hit a 2-out RBI single over Navarro’s glove. Raffy struck out, stranding a full set of runners, then smushed Brian Blackburn’s hand in the bottom 5th, gave up a double to Nathan Whitehurst, and walked Luis Chapa to fill the bags with one gone. He struck out the opposing pitcher, Llorens, then went down in flames as Navarro roped a double and Cabrera chipped a single, both driving in a pair of runs to flip the score to 4-3 Condors. The inning only ended when Cabrera was caught stealing. At that point the Coons out-hit the Condors, 9-3.

The Raccoons got another hit in the sixth inning, then gave up. Raffy pitched seven, followed by Paul Crisler, who came in and gave up a single to Mittleider and a homer to Tim Duncan, then was left to see for himself how he’d get out of that pile of horse manure. He did so by putting another four Condors on base, surrendering two more runs. Then the Coons scored a meaningless run on Ramon Montes de Oca in the ninth inning, and even that they did in the worst way. Lonzo got on, and Pucks doubled in Waters’ place. Ken Crum singled to left, scoring Lonzo, but when Pucks went for home, he was thrown out at the plate. Glodowski’s useless pelt procured the final out. 8-4 Condors. Sivertson 2-5; Lavorano 2-5; Puckeridge (PH) 1-1, 2B; Brewer 2-3; Maldonado 2-4, 2B, RBI;

We still ended up out-hitting them, 13-10.

The Condors then ended up with no starter on Saturday, trading Hyuma Hitomi (4-8, 4.46 ERA) to the damn Elks for two prospects including #111 Miguel Batista (who the Coons had traded to San Fran in the cursed Sean Suggs trade the previous June).

Speaking of which…

Interlude: Trade

The Coons wrapped up C Sean Suggs (.281, 10 HR, 49 RBI) and single-A outfielder Danny Guzman, who was six weeks from turning 22, to the Thunder for AAA 1B Harry Ramsay.

Ramsay, 24, was Canadian, but we’re tolerant people here. He also already had 36 big league appearances between this year and last, batting .282 with 3 HR, 12 RBI. Very much a first baseman: power, no speed, but the defense we’d grade as serviceable. He’d be in AAA for now, because of the too many OF/1B types problem, unless one of three things happened: we’d trade an OF/1B type by tomorrow evening, Maldo keeled over with an old man injury, or the calendar hit September 1.

The Coons needed a catcher, not Tyler Philipps, who was in a deep slump in AAA, and thus room on the 40-man roster. Outfielder Eddy Veloz, out for the year from AAA with a partially torn labrum, was moved to the big-league roster, then the 60-day DL to make room. Then Jeff Raczka was called up from AAA to make for a breathtaking backstop platoon.

Raccoons (42-62) @ Condors (43-62) – July 29-31, 2052

Game 2
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – LF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – CF Perez – 3B Crispin – RF Maldonado – C Raczka – P Taki
TIJ: 2B C. Navarro – RF G. Cabrera – C Mittleider – LF T. Duncan – 1B E. Rodriguez – CF Hildebrand – 3B Lamotta – SS Barrento – P Erwin

Swingman Aaron Erwin (3-5, 4.36 ERA) gave up a leadoff single to Waters, then a triple to Lonzo. Pucks’ sac fly made it 2-0. Lonzo and Pucks were on again in the third inning, then followed by Ken Crum’s RBI single that extended the score to 3-0. Chris Navarro meanwhile had the Condors’ first two hits; a single in the first when he was doubled up by Cabrera right away, and then a double in the third inning. That time Cabrera singled him home, 3-1. The top of the order would remain problematic, even when the rest of the lineup offered by the home team didn’t challenge Taki in the slightest. But in the bottom of the sixth, Cabrera walked, and was doubled home by Jon Mittleider. Since the Coons had apparently already gone to bed, stranding Mittleider also meant stranding the tying run in that inning.

Top 8th, the Coons loaded the bases after an hour of NOTHING. Waters singled, Pucks walked, both stole a pair of bases, and then Crum was walked intentionally to arrive at the section of the Raccoons’ lineup that was usually getting most of the blame. Same this time, except that Fernando Perez coaxed a third walk (second intentional) in the inning from Pedro de Leon to push Waters home with an insurance run. Johns and Hitchcock in the last two innings did not allow a Condor on base, though, and that won the Coons a season series(!)… 4-2 Critters. Waters 2-5; Lavorano 2-4, 3B, RBI; Puckeridge 0-1, 2 BB, RBI; Crum 2-3, BB, RBI; Taki 7.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, W (12-6);

And… no more trades. Wheats and Waters would remain Critters for the rest of the season at least.

Steve Richardson (0-0, 13.50 ERA) was on waivers by Wednesday, though, since we needed a roster spot for 22-year-old left-hander Josh Mayo to make a spot start. Mayo threw 98 with a decent assortment of pitches, but struggled with control (don’t they all…?). He had been taken at #34 in the 2049 draft. He’d also wear #34 for his 2052 debut.

Game 3
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – LF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – CF Perez – 3B Crispin – RF Maldonado – C Brewer – P Mayo
TIJ: 2B C. Navarro – CF Hildebrand – C Mittleider – LF T. Duncan – RF G. Cabrera – 3B Whitehurst – 1B Barrento – SS Chapa – P J. Woods

Was it a great debut? No. Far from it. Aaron Brewer’s homer in the third inning gave his battery mate a 1-0 lead in the third inning (and was one of two hits the shady Portland lineup produced through six innings), but Mayo folded right after that. Luis Chapa hit a leadoff single in the bottom 3rd and scored the tying run on a wild pitch with two outs, and in the fourth inning, Mayo retired none of the first four batters, who just kept hitting and walking away, and all four of them scored through his various misfortunes. Nailing the leadoff man Whitehurst and giving up a triple to Carmem Barrento right after that sure enough led to another two runs in the sixth inning. The beating was so bad that when Matt Waters homered with Brewer and Suzuki somehow on base in the eighth inning, and for his 20th bomb of the year, it was merely good enough to cut the deficit in half.

Then Pucks singled. Crum singled, and so did Perez, scoring Puckeridge. Crispin popped out, but Maldo found a 2-out RBI single. And the Condors found the key to their pen and replaced the withering Woods with Juan Juarez, who rung up Brewer to end the inning with the tying run on second base. Ryan Harmer held that line, while Sivertson batted for him to begin the ninth inning against lefty George Youngblood, whom the Coons had overturned before in this season. Sivertson grounded to third base, where Ricky Lamotta fudged the play, putting the tying run on first. Waters grounded out, moving him to second. Lonzo grounded out, moving him to third. Pucks grounded… past Navarro to tie the score after all at seven. Crum grounded out to strand him, and Crisler was hit by another bus in the bottom 9th, or in this case a walkoff homer by Jon Mittleider. 8-7 Condors. Puckeridge 2-5, RBI; Crum 2-5; Perez 2-4, RBI; Brewer 2-4, HR, RBI;

His performance netted Mayo a swift return trip to St. Petersburg, with no immediate prospect for return. Walk-happy left-hander Eric Reese got his turn to deliver a few ****** innings out of the pen now.

Raccoons (43-64) vs. Loggers (48-61) – August 1-4, 2052

After failing against the worst offense, the Coons would have a go at the worst pitching in the league, especially the bullpen; the rotation was half-decent, so we’d probably ever see that 5.55 ERA bullpen. The Loggers were trying to rally out of a 5-2 hole in the season series.

Projected matchups:
Phil Baker (0-1, 6.00 ERA) vs. Dave Serio (4-12, 4.82 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (2-4, 3.77 ERA) vs. Angelo Munoz (12-5, 2.68 ERA)
Cameron Argenziano (0-3, 3.66 ERA) vs. Noah Hollis (9-9, 3.83 ERA)
Rafael de la Cruz (7-6, 2.96 ERA) vs. Noel Groh (2-12, 4.54 ERA)

Nothing but right-handers here. Game #2 of this series was the earliest Wheats was going to be allowed to throw at people again.

Game 1
MIL: LF Sayre – CF Steinbacher – 1B Callaia – SS Z. Suggs – 3B K. Leon – RF C. Lowe – C J. Jimenez – 2B R. Lopez – P Serio
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF Perez – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – C Raczka – P Baker

Zach Suggs homered to left in the first inning, his 28th bomb of the year, and chasing home Craig Sayre, all of which sugged, but the Coons opened their poking with three straight singles to load the bases in the bottom 1st. Ken Crum unloaded to right-center at once to flip the score. GRAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAMMMM.

The inning continued. Perez singled, Crispin walked, and after two weak outs, Baker doubled home two runs, and then scored on a Waters single as the Coons more than batted through the order and dumped seven runs on Dave Serio. He’d give up nine runs in total with a 2-out, 2-run double to right by Mikio Suzuki that plated Perez and Crispin in the second inning, then was gone. Not that Baker pitched any better with a 7-run lead – he was taken deep for two by Gaudencio Callaia in the third inning, but the Coons answered with three more runs against John Morrill and Kyle McRay in the bottom of the fourth. A Perez double and Crispin RBI single to begin the inning, and a 2-run single by Waters after the Loggers had fooled the bags full with one out put the Critters at a dozen runs.

The first three Loggers, including the pitcher McRay, reached base against Baker in the fifth inning. Phil Steinbacher singled home McRay, and Sayre scored on Callaia’s sac fly, 12-6. Baker barely got through five, walking Suggs on the way through, but then had a 1-2-3 sixth inning. Sayre ended his day with a leadoff single in the seventh. Jim Larson would concede that run on a 2-out RBI single over Lonzo’s head, struck by Suggs, which sugged. Ex-Coon Juan Jimenez then took Larson deep the inning after, which wasn’t any better. Bottom 8th, the Coons had three on and two outs, assisted by a Ricky Lopez error, against righty Nicholas Pollock. Maldo batted for Larson and singled home a run to center. Waters took a bases-loaded walk, Lonzo grounded to third, and while Kenny Leon got Maldo with a force play on his own base, Raczka scored. Pucks flew out, but Crum snuck a single through the left side for another run. Sivertson batted for Perez against Ryan Clements and singled home Lonzo, but the 5-run inning ended with Crispin grounding out to short. It was the second time the Coons went through the order and small change in the game. Not that the Loggers were done scoring, either. Steinbacher and Suggs singled off Harmer, which sugged, AND harmed my feelings. Kenny Leon sent a 2-out grounder to Crispin for the final out of the game, if his throw to first was crisp, but it was not, Crum had to scurry after it, and the Loggers scored another crummy run. Chris Lowe popped up in foul ground, Crispin went after that, dropped it, and Lowe got another chance, but then grounded out to Waters. 17-9 Raccoons. Waters 4-6, BB, 2B, 4 RBI; Lavorano 2-6, RBI; Crum 2-5, HR, BB, 5 RBI; Sivertson (PH) 1-1, RBI; Crispin 3-5, RBI; Suzuki 2-3, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Maldonado (PH) 1-1, RBI;

(breathes out)

Game 2
MIL: LF Sayre – CF Steinbacher – 1B Callaia – SS Z. Suggs – C C. Thomas – 3B K. Leon – RF de Lemos – 2B R. Lopez – P Munoz
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF Perez – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – C Brewer – P Wheatley

Winless Wheatley wouldn’t win once more. The Raccoons having absolutely nothing memorable on the board through five innings didn’t exactly help, so getting taken deep by Ricky Lopez in the third inning didn’t exactly help his cause, but he was then also further exploded in the fifth inning, when Lopez opened with a single, and the Loggers plucked three 2-out runs out of Wheatley’s pelt, and again in the sixth, where Kenny Leon and Lopez drew walks and were singled home by Craig Sayre with two outs. That made for six runs in total, and just as many bits of salami soaked in rat poison drifting in my Capt’n Coma.

And that was very much the game. Lillis would give up a run to Chris Thomas’ 2-out RBI double in the ninth inning. Somewhere in between Aaron Brewer had singled home a run, but I didn’t even remember who actually scored. Maybe I imagined it. Maybe it was all a dream. 7-1 Loggers. Raczka (PH) 1-1, 2B; Perez 2-4, 2 2B; Suzuki 2-4;

Not an imagination were the two injuries the Raccoons suffered when almost nobody was watching anymore. Fernando Perez strained an oblique on his second double of the day and went to the DL, probably missing four weeks. Mitch Sivertson was batting in the #9 hole in the ninth inning, but was struck in the shoulder by David Fox. He was day-to-day with limited range of motion, and thus mostly useless. Not sure where the difference to any other day was then.

With Perez to the DL, righty-hitting OF/1B Adam Samples was called up from AAA. He had hit .190 in 46 games for the 2050 Coons, enough to not having been considered for anything beyond basic food and very basic shelter since. Back then, Samples had worn #47, which was now Raffy’s number. Samples was assigned #29, which should not be understood as anything like lower number = higher esteem.

Game 3
MIL: 3B K. Leon – 2B R. Lopez – SS Z. Suggs – 1B Yamamoto – LF C. Lowe – CF de Lemos – RF Sayre – C J. Jimenez – P Hollis
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – LF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – C Brewer – RF Maldonado – P Argenziano

Both win- and feckless Argenziano came apart as soon as the second inning, when Dave de Lemos, Craig Sayre, and Juan Jimenez roped 1-out drives off him for three straight hits, a double framed by two singles, and two runs. He walked the bags full with two outs, then somehow got Maldonado to catch up with a drive by Zach Suggs to end the inning. Shuta Yamamoto (single), de Lemos (walk), and Sayre (single) then loaded the bags with one out in the third inning, but lead-footed Jimenez did what lead-footed Jimenezes do and found Lonzo for a 6-4-3 double play and ticket out of the inning. Those three frames took Argenziano a ******* 69 pitches. He got another double play, then started by Ed Crispin, turned in the fourth after giving a sharp leadoff single to the opposing pitcher. In between Waters had hit a solo homer to cut the gap in half, but the Loggers got the 2-run lead back on sharp hits by Yamamoto (grumble grumble) and de Lemos in the fifth inning, which was also Argenziano’s final.

Crisler and Larson went through the motions in the next two innings, and I wasn’t expecting much, but the Raccoons caused a bit of a stir in the bottom 7th. Crispin hit a leadoff single, but was still on base with two outs and Maldo batting. Maldo had whacked one good before in the game, but Sayre had made a catch on him. This time, Maldo whacked the ball into the gap though and came through for an RBI double. Rich Seymour then batted for Larson, because that was the state of the Coons bench now, but flew out easily to de Lemos to strand the tying run in scoring position, but a revolving door of Loggers relievers then actually managed to blow the 3-2 lead in the eighth inning with straight singles by the 2-3-4 batters off three different pen fumblers, the tying run scoring on Crum’s single to left off Chris Kaye. Fortunately, Ed Crispin was then right up to the task and jammed into a double play to kill the inning, lest we actually take the ******* lead here. (throws empty bottle of Capt’n Coma against the wall, where it shatters)

Hitchcock held the tie in the top of the ninth against the top of the order then, giving the Coons a chance to walk off against righty Willie Gonzales, who began his assignment by nailing Mikio Suzuki. The winning run got as far as third base when Aaron Brewer singled to center, and went for home when Maldo flew out to de Lemos. But de Lemos’ throw to home was perfect, Suzuki was struck down by Jimenez, and the game continued. Jeff Raczka batted for Hitchcock (shrugs emphatically), singled to center, but Brewer held at third base for reasons beyond me entirely. Waters then flopped out to Phil Steinbacher, sending the game to extras. Squee! Yamamoto then took deep Justin Johns right away to start the tenth, the Coons never reached base, and another L was successfully logged. 4-3 Loggers. Puckeridge 2-5; Raczka (PH) 1-1;

Slappy, you’ll have to call your friend. Capt’n Coma doesn’t numb me no more. I need some One-Eyed Jack’s.

Game 4
MIL: LF Sayre – RF C. Lowe – 1B Callaia – SS Z. Suggs – C C. Thomas – 3B K. Leon – CF de Lemos – 2B Barrington – P Groh
POR: SS Waters – CF Suzuki – LF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – RF Glodowski – 3B Crispin – C Brewer – 2B Seymour – P de la Cruz

Waters singled and Suzuki tripled in the bottom of the first, but Waters was also caught stealing ahead of the Suzuki triple, and Pucks and Crum made useless outs, and nobody ******* scored. Except for when Gaudencio Callaia singled home Sayre in the third inning of course. Those two hits in that inning, both singles, were all but one Raffy surrendered through five innings, although he still managed to get his pitch count up with the odd full count here and there. The Raccoons looked beat until Ed Crispin unpacked a surprise homer in the bottom 5th to tie the score at one, only for Callaia, Suggs, Leon, and de Lemos to all line base hits off Raffy in the sixth inning, and scoring three runs, which very much broke the tie again.

Lillis followed de la Cruz when the latter gave up a leadoff single to Groh in the seventh inning, and while he stranded that run, nobody was there to do the same for him when Chris Thomas hit a leadoff single in the eighth inning. Ryan Harmer took over, walked the bags full, and gave up Lillis’ run on a Yamamoto single from the #9 spot, with Leon thrown out at the plate by Suzuki. Thomas doubled home a run against Eric Reese in the ninth, which was Reese’s third straight day out, but hey, ****** starting, ****** relieving, ****** results. 6-1 Loggers. Crispin 1-2, BB, HR, RBI;

In other news

July 29 – The Crusaders deal OF/1B Pedro Leal (.282, 11 HR, 48 RBI) to the Rebels for four prospects. The package contains #109 C/1B Justin Reese.
July 29 – At the advanced age of 41, 1B/2B Mario Briones (.314, 3 HR, 42 RBI) is not too young to get traded from the Falcons to the Wolves for outfielder Eiji Kinoshiita (.245, 0 HR, 14 RBI).
July 30 – The Rebs also pick up SP Larry Broad (11-6, 3.61 ERA) from the Aces for two prospects, including #81 prospect LF/RF John Kaniewski.
July 30 – Vegas also trades OF Neville van de Wouw (.244, 7 HR, 42 RBI) to the Capitals for SP Carlos Malla (6-7, 3.25 ERA), #47 prospect SP Jeremy Fetta, and $1.26M in cash.
July 30 – The Titans ship LF/RF/INF Jose Rodriguez (.234, 10 HR, 41 RBI) to the Blue Sox for outfielder Eric Cobb (.276, 3 HR, 39 RBI).
July 31 – Falcons INF Ian Woodrome (.307, 6 HR, 38 RBI) would miss the rest of the season with a broken elbow.
August 2 – The Bayhawks beat the Condors, 5-3 in 14 innings, in a game in which no player on either side manages as many as three hits or two RBI.
August 2 – Also 14 innings goes the Knights-Aces game in which the Georgians prevail, 5-4. Atlanta’s Jon Alade (.306, 18 HR, 70 RBI) drives in four of their five runs, including the go-ahead run in the top of the 14th.
August 3 – Saturday’s hero, Atlanta’s Jon Alade (.305, 18 HR, 70 RBI), leaves Sunday’s game early with back problems and is expected to miss at least one week.

FL Player of the Week: SFW C Nick Samuel (.230, 11 HR, 57 RBI), batting .474 (9-19) with 3 HR, 8 RBI
CL Player of the Week: CHA RF/LF Danny Ceballos (.308, 7 HR, 53 RBI), hitting .481 (13-27) with 2 HR, 10 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: DEN LF/CF Sandy Castillo (.342, 10 HR, 73 RBI), batting .433 with 4 HR, 34 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: MIL INF Zach Suggs (.308, 27 HR, 79 RBI) raking .379 with 8 HR, 23 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: CIN SP Austin Wilcox (9-10, 4.52 ERA), rallying with a 5-0 month with 2.34 ERA, 25 K
CL Pitcher of the Month: CHA SP Art Schaeffer (12-4, 3.50 ERA), throwing 4-0 in five starts, with a 0.96 ERA, 27 K
FL Rookie of the Month: NAS 3B Tyler Lundberg (.289, 4 HR, 33 RBI), hitting .315 with 1 HR, 16 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: VAN CF Damian Moreno (.310, 12 HR, 59 RBI), batting .346 with 3 HR, 18 RBI

Complaints and stuff

I don’t quite know what to say anymore. They suck. All of them.

No, no. That’s about it. They scored 37 runs this week and still didn’t manage to win more than two games. Giving up 44 runs was probably part of that.

No, they suck. That’s plainly it.

Next week: free wins for the Crusaders and Stars against the Raccoons and their excellent 10-26 run.

Fun Fact: The Raccoons have never gone straight from first to sixth place in the CL North.

Not even in 1997! Because while the ’97 Coons shed 40 games compared to 1996, they still won 68, and they beat out the damn Elks for fifth place on some Vern Kinnear heroics in the final series of the season. That was of course also the final series for Vern Kinnear as a Raccoon.

The 1997 Raccoons funnily enough finished with a positive run differential (+8) despite being 26 games under .500. The 65-97 Elks were at -187.

[Westheim]

This got delayed a bit, because of trade deadline and assorted misery, but now let’s look at the Raccoons’ record holders in selected categories.

Unrelated, if anybody knows a quick and easy way to export the batting register into Excel, I’d be greatful for a pointer. The Coons’ batting register is almost at 1,000 guys, and the old OOTP versions (up to when exactly, I don’t even know) don’t display any more than that. I’ll need to port it into Excel to keep it complete, probably by next season.

In all the lists, bold will denote players that are still active. Single-season stat ties for 10th will not be resolved this time.

PART UNE – BATTERS

Games Played (Career)
1st – Matt Nunley (2013-31) – 2,545
2nd – Jesus Maldonado (2035-52) – 2,249
3rd – Alberto Ramos (2025-42) – 2,216
4th – Manny Fernandez (2033-48) – 2,120
5th – Daniel Hall (1978-94) – 2,021
6th – Ricardo Carmona (2012-27) – 1,986
7th – Tim Stalker (2022-36) – 1,970
8th – Neil Reece (1989-2004) – 1,785
9th – Yoshi Nomura (2004-13, 2020-21) – 1,532
10th – Mark Dawson (1981-91) – 1,464

Matt Waters is 12th with 1,274 games.

Hits (Career)
1st – Alberto Ramos – 2,474
2nd – Matt Nunley – 2,457
3rd – Jesus Maldonado – 2,340
4th – Ricardo Carmona – 2,299
5th – Manny Fernandez – 2,122
6th – Neil Reece – 1,983
7th – Daniel Hall – 1,886
8th – Tim Stalker – 1,787
9th – Yoshi Nomura – 1,581
10th – Tetsu Osanai (1985-93) – 1,548

Hits (Single Season)
1st – Tetsu Osanai (1989) – 229
2nd – Tetsu Osanai (1986) – 225
3rd – Jarod Spencer (2026) – 221
4th – Tetsu Osanai (1988) – 218
5th – Ricardo Carmona (2014) – 212
6th – Manny Fernandez (2036) – 211
7th – Ricardo Carmona (2019) – 205
t-8th – Matt Workman (1983) – 203
t-8th – Ricardo Carmona (2020) – 203
t-8th – Hugo Mendoza (2020) – 203

Home Runs (Career)
1st – Daniel Hall – 223
2nd – Mark Dawson – 221
3rd – Jesus Maldonado - 210
4th – Manny Fernandez – 198
5th – Matt Waters (2043-52) – 173
6th – Matt Nunley – 172
7th – Neil Reece – 171
8th – Tetsu Osanai – 168
9th – Hugo Mendoza (2017-22) – 144
10th – Al Martin (1999-2005) – 142

Home Runs (Single Season)
1st – Troy Greenway (2038) – 42
t-2nd – Royce Green (1994) – 38
t-2nd – Hugo Mendoza (2020) – 38
t-4th – Tetsu Osanai (1989) – 35
t-4th – Ron Alston (2009) – 35
t-6th – Liam Wedemeyer (1996) – 33
t-6th – Luke Black (2008) – 33
t-6th – Hugo Mendoza (2021) – 33
t-6th – Justin Fowler (2037) – 33
10th – Rich Hereford (2028) – 32

RBI (Career)
1st – Jesus Maldonado – 1,160
2nd – Manny Fernandez – 1,110
3rd – Matt Nunley – 1,053
4th – Daniel Hall – 980
5th – Neil Reece – 905
6th – Mark Dawson – 869
7th – Tetsu Osanai – 865
8th – Tim Stalker – 800
9th – Alberto Ramos – 701
10th – Adrian Quebell (2005-14) – 675

Here, Matt Waters is next in line, 28 short of Quebell’s mark, and could in theory break into the top 10 by season’s end.

RBI (Single Season)
t-1st – Tetsu Osanai (1989) – 140
t-1st – Rich Hereford (2028) – 140
3rd – Hugo Mendoza (2020) – 133
4th – Troy Greenway (2038) – 132
t-5th – Tetsu Osanai (1986) – 121
t-5th – Tetsu Osanai (1990) – 121
7th – Luke Black (2008) – 120
8th – Mark Dawson (1983) – 119
9th – Al Martin (2003) – 117
10th – Mark Dawson (1988) – 115

Stolen Bases (Career)
1st – Alberto Ramos – 677
2nd – Ricardo Carmona – 428
3rd – Matt Higgins (1988-96) – 220
t-4th – Conceicao Guerin (1996-2010) – 193
t-4th – Lorenzo Lavorano (2049-52) – 193
6th – Manny Fernandez – 189
7th – Matt Waters – 186
8th – Enrique Trevino (2037-42) – 184
9th – Jarod Spencer (2021-28) – 165
10th – Jesus Maldonado – 145

Stolen Bases (Single Season)
1st – Alberto Ramos (2030) – 74
2nd – Lorenzo Lavorano (2051) – 71
3rd – Lorenzo Lavorano (2050) – 65
4th – Alberto Ramos (2031) – 60
t-5th – Yoshi Yamada (2005) – 54
t-5th – Alberto Ramos (2028) – 54
7th – Ricardo Carmona (2014) – 52
t-8th – Alberto Ramos (2029) – 51
t-8th – Alberto Ramos (2034) – 51
t-8th – Alberto Ramos (2035) – 51

[Westheim]

PART DEUX – PITCHERS

Less stats here, of course. Games played would obviously mostly list a parade of left-handed relievers. Although, y’know. Why not.

Games Played (Career)
1st – Grant West (1980-95) – 905
2nd – Mauricio Garavito (2029-40) – 804
3rd – Daniel Miller (1991-2002) – 698
4th – Ron Thrasher (2010-20) – 697
5th – Wally Gaston (1977-88) – 678
6th – Juan Martinez (1987-99) – 664
7th – Marcos Bruno (2001-15) – 642
8th – Angel Casas (2004-15) – 595
9th – Scott Wade (1985-2001) – 582
10th – David Fernandez (2031-39) – 577

Wade, the only 2-pitch pitcher that actually made it*, is the only pitcher in the top 10 to have started a game for the Raccoons – he started 421 in total before becoming a reliever late in his career. The highest-ranking starters with at most a handful of relief appearances are Kisho Saito (503 games, all starts) and Nick Brown (497 games, 492 starts) in 15th and 16th place.

*This was in OOTP 12 with 20/20 stuff, and probably doesn’t work anymore today.

Wins (Career)
1st – Nick Brown (2001-18) – 225
2nd – Kisho Saito (1984-99) – 189
3rd – Scott Wade – 170
4th – Jonny Toner (2013-23) – 157
5th – Hector Santos (2010-21) – 128
6th – Jason Wheatley (2042-52) – 126
7th – Logan Evans (1978-89) – 124
8th – Rico Gutierrez (2022-33) – 115
t-9th – Jason Turner (1988-96) – 109
t-9th – Bernie Chavez (2031-41) – 109

Wins (Single Season)
1st – Jonny Toner (2018) – 23
t-2nd – Tadasu Abe (2017) – 22
t-2nd – Jonny Toner (2020) – 22
t-4th – Scott Wade (1989) – 21
t-4th – Kel Yates (2007) – 21
t-4th – Mark Roberts (2025) – 21
t-7th – Jason Turner (1995) – 20
t-7th – Nick Brown (2004) – 20
t-7th – Nick Brown (2010) – 20
10th – Jason Wheatley (2051) – 19

ERA (Career)
1st – Angel Casas – 1.85
2nd – Grant West – 2.12
3rd – Richard Cunningham (1981-88) – 2.36
4th – Ron Thrasher – 2.39
5th – Jonny Toner – 2.61
6th – Marcos Bruno – 2.78
7th – Nick Brown – 2.89
8th – Jackie Lagarde (1989-99) – 2.95
9th – Juan Martinez – 2.99
10th – Jose Rivera (1994-2000) – 3.05

Minimum innings required to make this list: 486, three seasons of 162 each. This narrowly excludes relievers Ricky Ohl (2.41) and Law Rockburn (2.87), who are thus herewith honorably mentioned.

By the 486 innings criterium, Rivera is the third-best Raccoons starter by ERA, ever, less than a tenth of a run ahead of better knowns like Hector Santos and Jong-hoo Umberger. Rivera’s star shone brightly, but briefly. He won the CL ERA title in his only qualifying season in the major league in 1998, then tore up his elbow halfway through 1999, when it looked like he might repeat. He was hot garbage in 2000, traded to the Wolves, and out of baseball by age 30.

ERA (Single Season)
1st – Jonny Toner (2017) – 1.94
2nd – Kinji Kan (1983) – 2.02
3rd – Jonny Toner (2015) – 2.16
4th – Jong-hoo Umberger (2008) – 2.20
5th – Jonny Toner (2018) – 2.21
6th – Logan Evans (1985) – 2.28
7th – Mark Roberts (2025) – 2.29
8th – Jonny Toner (2020) – 2.32
9th – Vicente Ruiz (1985) – 2.35
10th – Nick Brown (2012) – 2.36

The minimum innings pitched here are obviously 162 innings.

Strikeouts (Career)
1st – Nick Brown – 3,166
2nd – Kisho Saito – 2,322
3rd – Jonny Toner – 2,234
4th – Hector Santos – 1,800
5th – Bernie Chavez – 1,504
6th – Mark Roberts (2024-31) – 1,452
7th – Jason Wheatley – 1,432
8th – Scott Wade – 1,417
9th – Rico Gutierrez – 1,246
10th – Ralph Ford (1999-2006) – 1,040

Strikeouts (Single Season)
t-1st – Jonny Toner (2017) – 293
t-1st – Jonny Toner (2018) – 293
3rd – Jonny Toner (2021) – 278
4th – Jonny Toner (2020) – 276
5th – Jonny Toner (2015) – 254
6th – Nick Brown (2012) – 248
t-7th – Nick Brown (2007) – 243
t-7th – Nick Brown (2009) – 243
9th – Kel Yates (2007) – 241
10th – Nick Brown (2004) – 240

Saves (Career)
1st – Grant West – 522
2nd – Angel Casas – 446
3rd – Josh Rella (2041-47) – 175
4th – Chris Wise (2030-37) – 148
5th – Josh Boles (2026-31) – 132
6th – Brett Lillis sr. (2019-24) – 129
7th – Jonathan Snyder (2024-27) – 118
8th – Alex Ramirez (2017-19) – 100
9th – Nelson Moreno (2040-49) – 97
10th – Wally Gaston – 94

Saves (Single Season)
1st – Angel Casas (2010) – 54
t-2nd – Grant West (1992) – 49
t-2nd – Angel Casas (2012) – 49
t-4th – Angel Casas (2007) – 48
t-4th – Angel Casas (2011) – 48
t-6th – Grant West (1983) – 46
t-6th – Grant West (1991) – 46
t-6th – Angel Casas (2008) – 46
t-6th – Angel Casas (2009) – 46
10th – Grant West (1993) – 45

[Westheim]

Raccoons (44-67) vs. Crusaders (53-59) – August 5-7, 2052

The week began with the Crusaders in town, and also Nick Valdes. The former were sixth in runs scored and second-worst in runs allowed in the CL, with a worse run differential than the Coons, and the latter was just staring at me aghast, but had at least complained to Steve from Accounting about all those precious millions. The season series was even at six between those two teams, while I was a bit miffed that Nick didn’t yet appreciate that I had already saved him many millions by trading many things that weren’t nailed into place away before the deadline.

Projected matchups:
Seisaku Taki (12-6, 2.43 ERA) vs. Jim White (3-4, 4.42 ERA)
Phil Baker (1-1, 8.25 ERA) vs. Edwin Sopena (8-8, 4.14 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (2-5, 4.10 ERA) vs. Jesus Sanchez (0-2, 15.19 ERA)

Nothing but right-handers from either team in this series.

Game 1
NYC: CF O. Sanchez – SS Russ – 3B Gates – LF D. Rivera – C Seidman – 2B Haney – RF Fellows – 1B Bent – P J. White
POR: SS Lavorano – CF Suzuki – LF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – RF Glodowski – 3B Crispin – C Raczka – 2B Seymour – P Taki

The game went as games went around here. The Coons put Crum and Crispin on the corners with one gone in the bottom 2nd, and both Jeff Raczka and Rich Seymour made outs of the same quality as their paychecks. In turn, Taki, who had retired the first six batters in a row, walked both Brandon Fellows and Art Bent to begin the third inning, saw them bunted over into scoring position by Jim White, and then both score when Omar Sanchez dinked in a despicable blooper for a 2-0 New York lead. A Fellows single in the fifth was the only other hit off Taki in five innings, while the Coons amounted to three, including an RBI single by Lonzo with two gone in the bottom 5th, chasing home Raczka to get back to 2-1. Lonzo stole second, his 42nd bag of the season, but was left on when Mikio Suzuki whiffed. The Crusaders got the run right back, though, as Taki bled two singles and a run-scoring wild pitch in the road half of the sixth, in the home half of which the Coons got another player (Pucks) to steal his way to second base and then left him right there as the next three batters struck out, struck out, and… struck out.

Taki went seven, then was hit for by Matt Waters with Raczka in scoring position and one out in the bottom of the seventh inning. Nick applauded when Waters doubled to left to shorten the deficit to one run again, but soon enough drew a snoot again when Lonzo grounded out and Suzuki stranded another tying run in scoring position by fanning blindly. The ball went to Johns in the top 8th, but he loaded the bags with a Prince Gates single and walks to Danny Rivera and Mark Haney. Lillis replaced him against PH Rick Colwill, who struck out, and then got Glodowski to put his useless pelt into motion and make a sliding catch on Art Bent’s fly to shallow right, stranding a full set of runners. Also stranded: Ken Crum at third base in the bottom 8th after roping a double to right, then getting thoroughly ignored by the useless pelt and Crispin. At least the bottom of the ninth was Neal Hamann turning away three right-handed pinch-hitters in order, and nobody reaching base at all. “Progress”? 3-2 Crusaders. Raczka 1-2, BB, 2B; Waters (PH) 1-1, 2B, RBI;

Game 2
NYC: CF O. Sanchez – RF Magnussen – 3B Gates – C Seidman – 2B Haney – LF Fellows – SS J. Nunez – 1B Bent – P Sopena
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – LF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – 3B Crispin – RF Maldonado – C Brewer – CF Samples – P Baker

Nick Valdes demanded a win for Tuesday, but I pointed at Phil Baker and asked him to reconsider his expectations. The Coons in any case stormed out of the gates to 3-0 lead in the first inning. Sopena nicked Waters, who stole second, then scored on a Pucks single. Pucks moved to second when Waters’ dash for home drew a throw, then scored on Ken Crum’s double to center. A Maldo single to center got Crum home with two outs. Aaron Brewer also reached base, but Adam Samples hit a floater to Sanchez that was finally caught. Nick Valdes pulled a roll of hundos from his inside pocket then and in a very low voice asked me to slip that to the home plate ump to call the game immediately, which I had to advise him wasn’t quite up to code, or the rulebook.

We’d have to get to the middle of the fifth at least – which Baker somehow did despite no tack-on runs (or tack-on attempts) by the Raccoons. Walking four and giving up three hits, he was greatly helped by two double plays being turned behind him, plus a running grab by Pucks in the left-center gap to strand two Crusaders in the third inning, and still needed almost 80 pitches to grind his way that far. Adam Magnussen singled home Art Bent in the fifth inning for New York, but the Coons still led 3-1. – Nick, stop poking me with the elbow. – Nick, I’m not gonna do it! – Maud, Nick wants me to bribe the umpire…!! – But it’s the mean-looking umpire!!

Ken Crum walked and stole his seventh base of the season in the bottom 5th, but was stranded. New York got Haney and Fellows singles in the sixth, and just before the pen could get engaged, Jesus Nunez hit into an inning-ending, 6-4-3 double play. It was the second start for the 24-year-old shortstop in the big leagues, and his second double play grounder. Baker’s third career start ended up lasting into the seventh inning, decent despite ample defensive support, and still in line for the W. The Coons were even getting a chance to tack on when Waters and Lonzo took to the corners with a pair of singles in the bottom 7th. Lonzo then took off for second base, but Mike Seidman had him beat – and his second baseman Haney as well. The ball skipped over Haney’s glove, into center, Waters scored, and Lonzo dashed to third base, where he was then duly stranded by Pucks’ pop and Crum’s flyout. Crisler bridged the gap to Kevin Hitchcock with a 1-2-3 eighth, but before that we got more wonders and oohs and aahs in the bottom 8th. Maldo drew a 1-out walk, then without warning took off on the first pitch to Aaron Brewer. Seidman was taken by surprise, and Maldo slid in safely at second for his first theft of the year (also his first attempt). Neither ooh nor aah was Brewer whiffing and Sivertson popping out to strand the extra runner at second base, though. The Crusaders failed to rally against Hitchcock when PH Rick Colwill hit into yet another double play, their fourth on the day, and the Coons even the season series again. 4-1 Raccoons. Baker 6.2 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 4 BB, 4 K, W (2-1);

Maldo had gone 1-for-3 in stolen base attempts last year.

On the other paw, Nick Valdes now insisted on watching Wheats win one Wednesday, which wildly wasn’t what we would willingly wager wheat-backs on.

Game 3
NYC: SS O. Sanchez – RF Magnussen – 3B Gates – LF D. Rivera – C Seidman – CF M. Ceballos – 2B Russ – 1B Bent – P J. Sanchez
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – LF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – RF Glodowski – C Brewer – P Wheatley

It had been almost two months since Wheats had won a game, but maybe the Crusaders’ attempts to stuff a Jeff Johnson-sized hole in the rotation with wildly-over-the-hill, 37-year-old Jesus Sanchez would open a door? The only New Yorker to reach base the first time through was Rivera, but he homered to left for a 1-0 lead in the second inning, while the Coons were almost comically stupid once again. They stranded two in the first, one in the second, one more in the third after Pucks hit into a double play following Waters and Lonzo singles, which particularly annoyed me, and got only a leadoff single from Crispin in the bottom 4th before Jesus Sanchez left with an apparent injury following a Suzuki pop to short. Austin Guastalla restored order in relief, while Rivera continued to wear out Wheatley. He tripled with two outs and nobody on in the fourth inning, but then had the middle of three singles in the sixth inning, which saw the score move to 2-0 when Seidman singled home Omar Sanchez.

Nick Valdes helpfully pointed out that we had the tying runs on to begin the bottom 6th with Pucks and Crum got on against righty Josh Simpson, but I was unconvinced. Behind Crum, misery reigned in this decimated lineup. Crispin promptly hit a comebacker on the first pitch, getting Crum forced out at second base, but Suzuki snapped a soft liner over Art Bent that bounced barely fair for an RBI double, 2-1. Two in scoring position with one out for Glodowski, but he grounded out to first. The runners held, as they did when Brewer was walked intentionally. Three on, two outs – and the Coons let Wheatley bat, because the bench was not a happy place either. He struck out.

While I had to explain to Nick Valdes how tanking worked, Wheats at least had a 1-2-3 inning after returning to the hill, and the Coons actually made up the deficit in the bottom of the seventh when Lonzo singled, stole second off lefty Josh Jansen, and then scored anyway on a gap triple by Pucks…! Ken Crum got automatic pointers to first base then, while the Coons answered with righty pinch-hitters for Crispin and Suzuki. Sivertson struck out, and Maldo flew out to Ceballos.

Then the Crusaders batted through the order in the eighth inning. From the top, they went single, single (but Sanchez thrown out trying to get third base), RBI double, RBI single, and then Wheats was yanked. Ryan Harmer replaced him, and I grew increasingly paler while Valdes’ face turned red at the same rate as Harmer harmed everybody’s feelings by giving up an RBI double to Seidman, then walked the bags full. Colwill singled home two, then made the second out on the bases as well, getting caught stealing. Nunez then had his first big league hit, a 2-out RBI triple to center. Sanchez struck out swining, the only out actually logged by a Coons pitcher in the ******* inning. Valdes exclaimed loudly that the wrong team was scoring runs, as if I hadn’t noticed that myself. Waters would claw back a run with a 2-out RBI single, scoring Brewer, in the bottom 8th, but he could have stuffed that between his fuzzy cheeks for all I cared. 8-3 Crusaders. Waters 2-5, RBI; Lavorano 2-4, BB; Crum 2-4, BB;

Danny Rivera never got that missing double for the cycle, despite ticking off the other three legs in his first three at-bats. He hit another single in that meltdown inning, then poked at a 3-0 pitch in the ninth inning against Lillis, but grounded out.

Nick Valdes and me parted yelling at each other once again, but what was he expecting from a team exploring the sub-.400 depths?

Raccoons (45-69) @ Stars (55-59) – August 9-11, 2052

Here were two teams that had been dominant in the 2040s, and now couldn’t find a W with two hands and a flashlight. The Stars were in fourth place in the FL West, sixth in runs scored and second from the bottom in runs allowed, because that had worked so well for the Coons during the week… We had not won a series from them (in the regular season, tee-hee) in the last four attempts, while getting swept in the most recent meeting in 2050. They had a number of ex-Coons on the payroll, but Bubba Wolinsky and Alex Adame were on the DL along with former Bayhawks standout Sergio Quiroz.

Projected matchups:
Cameron Argenziano (0-3, 3.89 ERA) vs. Alejandro Villanueva (2-5, 4.94 ERA)
Rafael de la Cruz (7-7, 3.09 ERA) vs. Nick Whetsell (1-3, 5.09 ERA)
Seisaku Taki (12-7, 2.49 ERA) vs. Manny Vasquez (7-9, 4.99 ERA)

More right-handers-only opposition.

The Coons had back-to-back off days on the days preceding and following this series, so optioned Phil Baker (2-1, 5.79 ERA), as no fifth starter would be needed until Saturday a week from now. The Coons used the opportunity to get a first look at 1B Harry Ramsay, the prospect grabbed from the Thunder in July, who would start a few games in the next week.

Game 1
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – LF Crum – 1B Ramsay – CF Suzuki – 3B Sivertson – C Brewer – P Argenziano
DAL: SS Arguello – 3B Crenshaw – LF O. Gonzalez – RF D. Martinez – 1B Humphreys – CF Barton – C R. Zamora – 2B Tauzin – P Villanueva

Lonzo singled, Pucks doubled, and Crum had a well-placed RBI groundout for a 1-0 lead in the first, but Harry Ramsay failed to make an instant splash and stranded a runner with a groundout to first base. His next time up, Pucks tripled home Matt Waters with a wallbanger in centerfield, but then was stranded by Crum grounding out crummily. Mark Tauzin hurt himself right in the first inning and was replaced with Mario Coto at second base. Coto drew a leadoff walk in the bottom 3rd off Argenziano, who then misfielded Villanueva’s bunt, and a Leo Arguello single loaded the bases with nobody out. Despite a foul pop by veteran Mike Crenshaw, Omar Gonzalez’ RBI single and a bases-loaded walk to Dario Martinez tied the game before Steve Humphreys hit into a double play to kill the inning, a favor that Brewer returned with Ramsay and Sivertson on the corners in the top 4th… Come the fifth, the Coons had a hit by their pitcher, a hit batter, a wild pitch, and a walk going in their favor – and didn’t score. Argenziano, Lonzo, and Crum were stranded when Ramsay lined out to Humphreys.

Dallas went up 3-2 in the bottom of that inning, capitalizing on a leadoff double by Arguello with two productive outs, and Humphreys hit another leadoff double in the sixth inning. Zamora and Coto walked the bases full, and Villanueva made a poor second out, but going to Lillis against the left-hander Arguello only netted the Coons a bases-loaded walk and another run added to the deficit. Crenshaw grounded out, leaving three aboard.

It was then a Pucks single, but mostly errors by Arguello and Danny Barton that tied the score at four in the top 7th. Lonzo reached on a throwing error and was driven home by Pucks, who then came in when Barton flubbed a 2-out fly by Ramsay for the tying run. Suzuki singled, but as usual, somebody had to kill the rally before its time, and this time it was Sivertson with a pop to short. Villanueva ticked Brewer to begin the eighth and end his day, with that go-ahead run coming home on Crispin and Lonzo hits with one out for a 5-4 lead before the clutch slipped again. Jim Larson held the lead in the bottom 8th, while ex-Coon Willie Cruz also held the Coons in place in the top of the ninth inning. Hitchcock almost fell over the two left-handers at the top of the lineup, walking Arguello with one out and seeing Crenshaw reach on an infield single in the bottom 9th then. But he popped up Omar Gonzalez, and Dario Martinez went down on strikes to get the W in the books…! 5-4 Coons. Lavorano 2-4, RBI; Puckeridge 3-5, 3B, 2B, 2 RBI; Crispin 1-1;

Still winless in seven career starts now: Argenziano. Eh, Wheats’ streak was longer……

Game 2
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – LF Crum – 1B Ramsay – CF Suzuki – 3B Sivertson – C Raczka – P de la Cruz
DAL: LF O. Gonzalez – C Dickerson – RF D. Martinez – 1B Humphreys – 3B Crenshaw – CF Barton – SS Arguello – 2B Tauzin – P Whetsell

Tauzin was back in the lineup on Saturday, and right away played into the Coons’ paw with an error that put Lonzo on base. That came in between Waters and Pucks singles, gave the Critters three on and nobody out, and probably more throbbing in my forehead once we had left the bases loaded. Not bloody quite – we stranded only two. Crum struck out and Ramsay hit into a double play. Tah!

Raffy had to single home his own lead, following Suzuki and Sivertson hits in the top 2nd with an RBI knock to go up 1-0. Waters got on, and Lonzo socked a ball over Danny Barton with the bases loaded for a double. It cleared the bases, sorta – two runs scored, but Waters was thrown out at the plate, and Pucks grounded out to strand Lonzo on third base. **** got more wicked in the third inning with a leadoff double for Ken Crum. Ramsay grounded out, moving him to third base, from where he scored on a wild pitch that bounced into the umpire’s throat. After some medical consultation, Suzuki was struck out, but Isaiah Dickerson lost that ball as well and Suzuki reached on the uncaught third strike, then was caught stealing before Sivertson doubled to right. Raczka was walked intentionally, leaving Raffy to make the last out with a floater to left. Pucks hit a solo jack in the fourth, 5-0, while Dario Martinez hit a single in the bottom of that inning, the Stars’ first knock off Raffy.

Bottom 5th, bases loaded for Dallas. Raffy walked Arguello and Gonzalez, while Tauzin singled in between. There were already two outs on the board and Dickerson was a .216 hitter from the right side, but the count ran full in an endless inning that exploded de la Cruz’ heretofore very nice pitch count. Dickerson struck out eventually, but Raffy was now on 84 pitches. Despite that, he retired another six Stars before retiring on a seven-inning, 2-hit shutout in progress. The game looked over; the Coons tacked on a bit more against southpaw Troy Henrikson in the ninth inning. Lonzo singled, stole #45, and came home on Crum’s single. Glodowski batted for Ramsay and singled to center, where Barton bungled another one for an extra base for the runners. For good measure, Adam Samples socked a 2-run double in Suzuki’s spot. And maybe we’d still need it, because while Reese and Harmer pieced a quick eighth together, Crisler loaded the bases in the bottom 9th before Lillis was sent into the fray. Arguello and Tauzin both struck out against the southpaw, and the Stars remained shut out. 8-0 Furballs. Lavorano 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Puckeridge 2-5, HR, RBI; Crum 2-5, 2B, RBI; Glodowski (PH) 1-1; Suzuki 2-4; Samples (PH) 1-1, 2B, 2 RBI; Sivertson 2-5, 2B; de la Cruz 7.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 7 K, W (8-7) and 1-3, RBI;

What’s that? A series win?

How??

Game 3
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – LF Crum – 1B Ramsay – 3B Sivertson – C Brewer – RF Maldonado – P Taki
DAL: LF O. Gonzalez – C Dickerson – RF D. Martinez – 1B Humphreys – 3B Crenshaw – CF Barton – SS Arguello – 2B Tauzin – P M. Vasquez

Lonzo tripled and Crum homered for a quick 2-0 lead in Sunday in the first inning, but Gonzalez, Humphreys, and Crenshaw all lunked doubles off Taki in the bottom half of the same inning to get the score level again. Matt Waters answered with a 3-piece to right in the top 2nd, collecting Brewer, who had singled, and Maldo, who been handed a welt with a Vasquez fastball. He dealt another one to Brewer when Ramsay and Sivertson were already in scoring position with one out in the third inning. Maldo came up batting with a full plate and one out, but whiffed, and Taki popped out to Tauzin, but Lonzo shot another triple in the fourth inning and scored on a sac fly to center by Pucks. At 6-2, Vasquez was yanked, and Lonzo was no longer pitched to, getting an intentional walk in the sixth inning after Waters had doubled off Ricky Contreras. Pucks and Crum made meek outs after that, and the score remained the same.

Taki lost it in the seventh, offering a walk, two wild pitches, and a run on the second of those, which was earned despite a Ramsay error to add to the malaise. Ed Crispin batted for him to begin the eighth inning and homered to right off another former Critter, Preston Porter, who then responded with strikeouts to the 1-2-3 batters. Harmer pitched the eighth and Reese got the ninth with a 4-run lead, which was progressive. He rung up Crenshaw, then was taken deep to right by Barton. No pinch-hitter ever materialized amongst that all-lefty bottom of the order, though, and Arguello and Tauzin made the last two outs without Hitchcock having to intervene. 7-4 Coons. Waters 2-4, BB, HR, 2B, 3 RBI; Lavorano 2-3, 2 BB, 2 3B; Sivertson 2-5; Crispin (PH) 1-1, HR, RBI;

In other news

August 6 – A single by LAP 1B Mark Cahill (.277, 7 HR, 26 RBI) keeps the Pacifics from getting no-hit in a 1-0 loss to the Warriors’ Jeremy Ray (8-5, 3.48 ERA) and two relievers.
August 7 – VAN OF Joshua Shaw (.330, 5 HR, 46 RBI) hits two home runs in a 5-3 win over the Indians, including the game-decider in the top of the 15th inning.
August 8 – Loggers INF Zach Suggs (.306, 28 HR, 84 RBI) will be shut down for the rest of the month after having suffered a concussion on Tuesday.
August 9 – SFW SP David Barel (10-7, 2.67 ERA) throws a 3-hit shutout against his former team, the Titans, in a 2-0 win for the Warriors.
August 9 – Cyclones SP Austin Wilcox (10-10, 4.20 ERA) also throws a 3-hitter in a 4-0 win over the Condors.
August 9 – In the same game, Cyclones INF Juan Ojeda (.313, 3 HR, 54 RBI) connects for a double and a 20-game hitting streak.
August 9 – LAP RF Matt Diskin (.385, 12 HR, 44 RBI) will miss the rest of the month with a badly bruised wrist.
August 10 – With a ruptured disc, TIJ LF Tim Duncan (.226, 11 HR, 53 RBI) is out for the season.
August 11 – The Condors beat the Cyclones, 10-3, and Juan Ojeda (.309, 4 HR, 57 RBI) in particular, 5-0, ending his hitting streak at 21 games.
August 11 – LAP SP Isaiah Mowatt (4-6, 3.40 ERA, 1 SV) 3-hits the Loggers for a 2-0 shutout.
August 11 – The Wolves beat the Crusaders, 2-1, with all runs scoring only in the 12th inning.

FL Player of the Week: NAS 2B/3B Travis Malkus (.275, 1 HR, 15 RBI), hitting .480 (12-25) with 8 RBI
CL Player of the Week: IND 1B Toushi Imai (.279, 7 HR, 22 RBI), socking .448 (13-29) with 4 HR, 8 RBI

Complaints and stuff

First sweep and first winning week since doing one on the Condors in late June, with one more win in four attempts against the Arrowheads for a 4-3 total back then. Now, 4-2! Huzzah!

Wheatley…! Unless he can grab a W on Tuesday, he will go MORE than two months without a win. At least he’s still pitching semi-decently. What’s with all the broken toys from the Opening Day roster? Salcido is winless in the AAA rotation, but at least not getting flicked around as much as in the majors. Eloy Sencion however posted an ungodly ERA in St. Pete as well and has by now reached the depths of Ham Lake.

Harry Ramsay hit in his first three games as a Coon as you’d expect a Coon you’d expect to hit to hit: 2-for-13, no RBI. And an error in the field.

At least Lonzo now leads the stolen base race by a dozen. Another 70+ campaign looks unlikely, but it’s 45 games, who knows… Seisaku Taki is third in ERA in the CL now, but almost half a run behind Boston’s Vic Scott.

Next week: start of a 4-team homestand against the Caps, Elks, Indians, and Aces. All are in for three, except for the Arrowheads, against whom we have another rainout to make up.

Fun Fact: Sean Suggs dropped his OPS another 120 points as a Thunder.

It’s been only ten games, but he’s hit .262/.306/.310 with them after .281/.317/.420 with the Coons. Although, after being acquired from San Fran last season, his second-half line was suspiciously close to that one now.

By the way, he hit for an .815+ OPS for six straight years in San Francisco…

[Westheim]

Raccoons (48-69) vs. Capitals (53-64) – August 13-15, 2052

The best thing these two teams shared entering the midweek series was reminiscence of the good old days, like when they played three straight World Series against each other 60-ish years ago. Like the Coons, the Capitals couldn’t score, both teams sitting tenth in their league in runs thrown onto the board, but they were also ninth in runs allowed (Coons: third). This would be the tenth meeting in 13 years for these two teams, with honors in the previous nine almost even, but the Raccoons had swept the series from the Caps in ’51.

Projected matchups:
Jason Wheatley (2-6, 4.25 ERA) vs. Danny Grimstead (3-8, 5.40 ERA)
Kyle Brobeck (2-5, 4.44 ERA) vs. Sean Fowler (9-12, 3.45 ERA)
Rafael de la Cruz (8-7, 2.95 ERA) vs. Felix Castano (7-10, 5.11 ERA)

Left, right, right for the Caps, who were without starting pitchers Bruce Mark jr. and Darren McRee, outfielder Pat Stipp, and some assorted pieces, all on the DL.

The Raccoons intended to bring up Kyle Brobeck – immense struggles in AAA for him notwithstanding – for a spot start on Wednesday, all the while kicking Cameron Argenziano to the tail end of the line. To be fair, who wasn’t struggling besides Seisaku Taki…?

Game 1
WAS: CF Monson – LF van de Wouw – 3B Wilken – RF D. Martin – C Korfhage – SS Marroguin – 2B A. Silva – 1B Higareda – P Grimstead
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – LF Crum – RF Glodowski – 3B Sivertson – C Brewer – 1B Maldonado – P Wheatley

Wheatley’s attempts to not go two months without a win for the second time this year, and for the first time without DL involvement, were not helped early on by only isolated singles, one per inning from the Coons offense, and also not himself for misfielding a Grimstead bunt for an error in the third inning. That moved Adrian Higareda and his leadoff single to second base with nobody out, but the next three batters made easy outs and no runs were scored through three. The fourth, though, began with a Lonzo error that put Dan Martin on base, and this time it all came apart. Jordan Marroguin singled, Alejandro Silva doubled, and two runs scored in the inning (one earned). The Coons responded with three singles by Crum, Glodowski, and Brewer to load the bases in the bottom of the same inning, which brought up good old Maldo with one out. He put the 2-1 pitch up the middle, Silva came near it, but missed it, and the ball escaped to centerfield for a 2-run single, tying the score right up…! The remaining runners also reached scoring position on Jason Monson’s throw home, and Wheats singled home his own lead with a grounder to Jordan Marroguin, 3-2. Waters’ single to left collected Maldonado as well for a 4-2 score through four innings.

Randy Wilken took it all away with a homer in the fifth, though, a huge shot to left, and with Neville van de Wouw on base to get the score even at four. And that was that; Wheats held the tie in the sixth, but was batted for with Maldo on first base and one out in the bottom of that inning. Suzuki grounded out, Waters was walked intentionally, and Lonzo whiffed, and with that, there they were, two winless months.

Jim Larson then handed the Caps the lead in ridiculous fashion in the eighth inning. Silva singled off him, which was one thing, but with two outs, the ******* opposing pitcher lined an RBI double down the rightfield line to chase Silva home with the go-ahead run. I wasn’t happy, as the random pillow flung at the TV could attest to. Marroguin then drove home two more runs off utterly useless Paul Crisler with two outs in the ninth inning, doubling off the fence in leftfield to get the deed done. The Coons didn’t reach base again until they brought up pinch-hitters against right-hander Ryan Dow in the bottom of the ninth inning. Ed Crispin walked in Glodowski’s spot, but that was followed by a terminal groundout for Harry Ramsay. 7-4 Capitals. Waters 2-4, BB, RBI; Crum 2-5, 2B; Glodowski 1-2, 2 BB; Maldonado 3-3, BB, 2 RBI;

(sits at his desk, face buried in his paws, at the same time that Wheats sat in the clubhouse with the biggest towel he could find over his head, and neither of them moving)

Game 2
WAS: CF Monson – LF van de Wouw – 3B Wilken – RF D. Martin – C Korfhage – SS Marroguin – 2B A. Silva – 1B Higareda – P S. Fowler
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – LF Crum – 1B Ramsay – 3B Crispin – RF Maldonado – C Raczka – P Brobeck

Brobeck for a day took the roster spot of ever-useless Rich Seymour (.214, 0 HR, 0 RBI), and it was hard to say whether he or the rest of the team was more annoying. The reports from AAA that he had lost all command and was about to lose all confidence were not untrue, because he needed 79 pitches through five innings despite not THAT much traffic – seven base runners for the Caps, three of whom scored; Silva doubled home Mitch Korfhage in the second inning, and Dan Martin popped a 2-out, 3-run homer in the third, but the Raccoons were also offensively as useless as could be. They had three singles through five innings. One of those (Waters) they doubled up (Lonzo), and another one (Maldo) was picked off first base due to old man reactions coming second to a snappy 28-year-old pitcher in full juice.

The Coons stretched Brobeck for six and two thirds before Monson’s triple to left made them reconsider. Eric Reese entered, gave up an RBI triple to van de Wouw, a homer to Wilken, and a single to Martin before Korfhage struck out trying to complete a 4-man cycle. Those were the final runs for the Capitals in the game, and they were well enough. The Raccoons remained most hapless and didn’t manage to score a run until Jeff Raczka doubled home Crispin with two outs in the bottom 9th against Taylor Stabile. Sivertson then grounded out. 6-1 Capitals. Crum 2-4; Raczka 2-3, BB, 2B, RBI;

Brobeck (2-6, 4.55 ERA) was duly disposed of again. The Coons went to the next “if all fails” right-hander in Danny Cancel, who had last wound up in Portland in 2050, had a 4.12 career ERA in 34 games, and was now 29 years old and even in St. Pete rarely ever used.

Game 3
WAS: CF Monson – LF van de Wouw – 3B Wilken – RF D. Martin – C Korfhage – 1B W. Jenkins – SS Marroguin – 2B A. Silva – P Castano
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – LF Crum – 1B Ramsay – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – C Raczka – P de la Cruz

You couldn’t blame Rafael de la Cruz for not trying; for once, he had a decent pitch count through three innings, 33 for no runs, and then he zinged a liner up the line in rightfield for extra bases in the bottom 3rd. Alas, he also tried to hard, didn’t stop at second base, and was thrown out by Dan Martin and Jordan Marroguin at third base. Marroguin and van de Wouw were the only Caps to get a hit off him through six, though, and the Raccoons even managed to scratch out a ******* run at some point. Harry Ramsay, in his 19th at-bat as a Coon, hit a 2-out RBI single to center in the fourth to chase home Pucks with the game’s only run for the time being.

Mitch Korfhage singled to center to begin the seventh inning, but was stranded on two groundouts and a K to Silva. Ramsay and Crispin countered with leadoff singles in the bottom half of the seventh. Of course, hoping for a big hit was futile. But a Suzuki groundout and Raczka’s sac fly to center were at least good enough for *a* run before Raffy struck out.

Speaking of Raffy, everything shattered in a million pieces for him in the eighth inning. Jayden Baldwin batted for Castano to begin the inning and hit a booming homer to right, 2-1, and then Monson doubled and van de Wouw walked. Yanked, de la Cruz slouched off the field, to be replaced with Johns, who struck out Wilken, but then waved the runners left behind around with a double served up to Martin and Korfhage’s sac fly, flipping the score to 3-2 Caps. Jake White, Franklin Diaz, and Ryan Dow then sawed off the Critters for the last six outs to complete the sweep. 3-2 Capitals. Waters 2-4; Puckeridge 2-4; Ramsay 2-4, RBI; de la Cruz 7.0 IP, 5 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 2 BB, 4 K, L (8-8) and 1-3, 2B;

You’re filling out a lottery ticket, Steve from Accounting? And you’re taking a number from everybody in the office? – Okay, I pick 12. So enter every number but 12.

Raccoons (48-72) vs. Canadiens (68-52) – August 16-18, 2052

Being last was one thing. Being last and THEM being first was wholly another. I was seething. They led the North by 3 1/2 games, but were only sixth in runs scored in the CL. However, giving up the second-fewest runs in the league and a +81 run differential for them virtually guaranteed the Critters building another substantial losing streak. The season series was already in the damn Elks’ favor at 7-4. And all that was with one menace no longer threatening. Jerry Outram had busted a knee and was no longer going to hurt us this year, and who knew whether he’d get another contract. Besides that, they were also without Juan Ramos, Jeff Wheeler, and Tim Burkhart.

Projected matchups:
Seisaku Taki (13-7, 2.55 ERA) vs. Hyuma Hitomi (5-10, 4.25 ERA)
Cameron Argenziano (0-3, 4.01 ERA) vs. Federico Purificao (6-9, 3.30 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (2-6, 4.26 ERA) vs. Anton Jesus (9-9, 3.78 ERA)

Only right-handed winners coming up there.

Game 1
VAN: 2B Nicholson – C Julio Diaz – SS Mullen – CF D. Moreno – LF T. Turner – 3B Walley – RF Escobido – 1B Clevidence – P Hitomi
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – LF Crum – 1B Ramsay – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – C Brewer – P Taki

A pair of singles by Brian Nicholson and Damian Moreno scored them Elks a run in the first, and a pair of doubles by Doug Clevidence and Nicholson gave them another run in the second. The Coons were not without base runners, though: Crispin reached on a Dan Mullen error in the bottom 2nd, and Suzuki and Brewer landed singles to fill the bases with one out for … Taki. But Taki came through, singling to left-center to tie the game with two runs coming home…! When Waters then singled to left, Aaron Brewer went for home from second base – and was thrown out. Lonzo then popped out in foul ground to end the inning.

The Elks got the lead back in the third inning. Tim Turner singled, and then Taki inexplicably walked Chris Walley, Angel Escobido, and Clevidence in a row to force in Turner with the go-ahead run, and all that with two ******* outs. Clevidence then doubled home two more his next time up, hitting a screamer over the head of Ken Crum in leftfield to run the score to 5-2 by the fifth inning, which was also the last for Taki.

What was more frustrating? The two scoreless added by ham-and-eggers Reese and Cancel after that, or the fact that when Mitch Sivertson singled in the pitcher’s spot to begin the bottom 7th, the Coons made more soggy outs from the top of the orders until Pucks snuck a single by Nicholson with two outs, bringing home Sivertson’s run, 5-3. Ken Crum immediately hit an RBI double, upon which the Elks sent left-hander Tim Abraham after Ramsey. The Coons countered with Maldo, who grounded out… And yet, they tied it up after all. It took a Suzuki double and Brewer single in the eighth inning, but we were finally even at five and had a reason to dust the cobwebs off Kevin Hitchcock for the top of the ninth. He retired Moreno, Turner, and Walley in order, and Pucks narrowly missed a walkoff homer with a double high off the fence in rightfield with one out off Jared Bramel in the bottom 9th. The Elks wanted nothing from Crum, and walked him onto the open base to get Maldo back to the dish. Bramel gave up a liner to center, though, and that one fell for a single. Pucks started from second, turned round third, and went for home to – get thrown out by Moreno. Crispin then flew out to right, sending the game to extras…

There, Hitchcock overcame a barrage of left-handed pinch-hitters for a second scoreless inning, but it wasn’t enough for him, either. Bernardino Risso walked Brewer in the bottom 10th, but Glodowski tumbled into a double play with his useless pelt. Lillis in the 11th then gave up hits to left-handers Moreno, Jorge Uranga, and Josh Shaw, and the Elks took a 6-5 lead before Crum caught Kyle Hawkins’ fly to put an end to the rioting. It was Risso against the top of the Coons’ lineup in the bottom 11th. Waters grounded out to short. Lonzo grounded out to short. Pucks, always ready to annoy opposing teams, singled past Uranga into rightfield, offering one more chance to Ken Crum – who grounded out on a 3-1 pitch. 6-5 Canadiens. Puckeridge 5-6, 2 2B, RBI; Maldonado (PH) 1-2; Suzuki 2-5, 2B; Brewer 3-4, BB, RBI; Sivertson (PH) 1-1; Hitchcock 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

I don’t know, Honeypaws. Drinking until the bobbleheads start dancing doesn’t work anymore. It still hurts.

Game 2
VAN: RF J. Shaw – 1B T. Turner – SS Mullen – CF D. Moreno – C L. Miranda – LF Escobido – 3B Nicholson – 2B Clevidence – P Purificao
POR: SS Lavorano – 3B Crispin – RF Glodowski – LF Puckeridge – 1B Ramsay – 2B Sivertson – C Raczka – CF Samples – P Argenziano

Saturday’s lineup could be considered a cry for help, but maybe it was time to break out of the rut, a.k.a. flinging **** at the wall and see what sticks.

Of course the whole shebang ended up with Argenziano putting Luis Miranda and Nicholson on base in the top 2nd, and then Lonzo fumbled Clevidence’s shoulda-been-the-third-out grounder. Purificao didn’t have to be asked twice, and singled home the first two runs of the game. Ramsay hit his first Critters homer in the bottom of the inning, but the Elks clawed that run right back in the top of the third, and added two more in the fourth, persistently singling Argenziano to ******* death. He gave up two more in the fifth on a walk to Escobido, who stole second, a Nicholson RBI single, a wild pitch, and another 2-out single by Clevidence, running the gap to half a dozen.

Their pitcher departed after five god-awful innings, Pucks inched the Coons closer once more with a solo homer to right-center in the bottom 6th, but that didn’t really spark an extended rally and we were still down by five after seven innings. At that point, Danny Cancel was inserted to get six garbage outs, then pack his **** and go back to St. Pete. That part of the game was the only one that worked out as intended. 7-2 Canadiens. Puckeridge 2-4, HR, RBI; Ramsay 2-4, HR, RBI; Cancel 2.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K;

I don’t know what else to do. Except…

Maud? – Wanna bat cleanup on Sunday?

To replace Cancel, the Coons brought up 25-year-old right-hander Raul Medrano, who a long long time ago had cost the best part of half a million bucks to sign in a July IFA period, and who at 25 still had major control issues with a 97mph heater and a forkball.

Maybe the dread of a beanball could scare the other teams into submission……

Game 3
VAN: 3B A. Soto – C Julio Diaz – SS Mullen – CF D. Moreno – RF J. Shaw – 2B Nicholson – LF K. Hawkins – 1B Clevidence – P A. Jesus
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – LF Crum – 1B Ramsay – 3B Crispin – C Raczka – RF Maldonado – P Wheatley

Back to the usual suckers on Sunday then. Hoping for Wheats to end the Coons’ 0-5 streak or his own 0-6 run was probably just leading to more disappointment. Damian Moreno hit a 3-run homer in the first inning, and that was that, one was probably justified to assume. Dan Mullen had reached with a walk, and Wheats walked four in total in the first three innings, as the opposing teams now seemed to live rent-free in his head. The Coons made up a run in the second on singles by Raczka, Maldo, and Waters, but then Lonzo struck out; however, Jeff Raczka (who exactly, again?) hit a double in the fourth and was in scoring position for Maldo… who grounded out. Wheats brought him home, though, sneaking a 2-out single up the middle to put his own fuzzy bum on base with the tying run. Matt Waters obliged, pounded a score-flipper for some 410 feet to right-center, and the Coons were on top, 4-3.

That was not all; while Wheats ached around a Julio Diaz double in the fifth to get qualifying distance in, the Coons stirred a bit more in the bottom of the fifth. Pucks got on and stole a base, and Crispin reached with two outs. And then Raczka rung Jesus’ bell with a 3-run homer to right…!! JEFF RACZKA!! WHO??

I tried to hold off ecstasy for a bit longer, though, because Wheats was still pitching, and none too greatly. He nailed Nicholson to get the sixth underway, and then gave up a 2-out single to right to Jorge Uranga. Nicholson went for home from second base – but was hammered out by Maldonado! What a good…! …boy? Nevertheless, Wheats batted for himself in the bottom of the inning, which saw Tim Abraham retire three in a row. Wheats also got three more in order in the seventh, which was his final inning, closing on point at 100 pitches. Abraham conceded another 2-out run to Raging Raczka in the bottom of that frame, this time with a single to score Pucks. Maldo then drove home Crispin with a single off Jared Bramel, who then got Glodowski to fly out to left to end the inning. Lillis had a scoreless eighth, but Jim Larson was less lucky in the ninth, getting two outs before getting whacked for sharp hits by Alex Soto, Julio Diaz, and Dan Mullen. One run home, two in scoring position, Eric Reese came out for Damian Moreno and potentially Shaw before Hitchcock would face the next righty in line. Reese walked Moreno, but Shaw found Lonzo for the final out to stop the Coons’ losing streak, and Wheats’, too. 9-4 Raccoons. Waters 2-4, BB, HR, 3 RBI; Puckeridge 2-5, 2 BB; Raczka 4-4, HR, 2B, 4 RBI; Maldonado 2-4, RBI; Wheatley 7.0 IP, 6 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 4 BB, 5 K, W (3-6) and 1-3, RBI;

In other news

August 12 – When the Bayhawks beat the Warriors, 6-2, they do so in no small part thanks to three solo home runs from SFB LF/RF Danny Munn (.242, 17 HR, 46 RBI), who was with the Warriors as late as last season. It’s already the second time this year that the Warriors get taken deep by the same player three times in a game, after Nashville’s Alejandro Ramos did so in May.
August 12 – It takes 13 innings for OCT OF/1B Cullen Tortora (.367, 0 HR, 4 RBI) to double home the only run of the Thunder’s 1-0 win over the Stars.
August 14 – Gold Sox outfielder Mike Preble (.319, 4 HR, 15 RBI) lands his 2,000th base hit in a 10-6 win over the Condors. The 38-year-old clips a pinch-hit single off TIJ SP Tony Llorens (8-9, 3.72 ERA) to reach the millennium. Preble is a career .304, 270 HR, 1,078 RBI hitter that twice led the CL in slugging and took five All Stars, one Gold Glove, and two World Series rings over his career.
August 14 – NYC OF Mario Ceballos (.231, 1 HR, 15 RBI) was going to miss a month with a sprained elbow.
August 15 – A broken kneecap ends the season and maybe the career of VAN RF Jerry Outram (.299, 2 HR, 18 RBI), who is going on 39 and has no contract for next year.
August 15 – SFB CL Brad Barnes (5-7, 5.70 ERA, 24 SV) is out for the year to heal out some shoulder inflammation.
August 16 – Bayhawks SP Mario de Anda (6-7, 4.15 ERA) throws a 2-hit shutout in a 5-0 win over the Knights.
August 17 – Loggers RF/LF/1B Chris Lowe (.305, 9 HR, 61 RBI) hits for the cycle in a 11-3 smackdown of the Crusaders, driving in four runs on four hits in the effort. It’s the first Loggers cycles in 39 years, with the feat last achieved by Nick Gilmor against the Knights in 2013.
August 17 – SAC C Aaron Kissler (2-for-6, 0 HR, 3 RBI) caps a 6-run rally in the ninth inning with a walkoff single to help the Scorpions defeat the Warriors, 9-8.

FL Player of the Week: SAC RF/LF/1B Nate Culp (.261, 18 HR, 47 RBI), hitting .400 (10-25) with 4 HR, 8 RBI
CL Player of the Week: SFB LF/RF Danny Munn (.252, 20 HR, 50 RBI), launching .440 (11-25) with 6 HR, 7 RBI

Complaints and stuff

14-25. That is what it will take to avoid 100 losses. So far in the second half, we’re 13-29. (sharply draws air in between his spiky teeth)

Rich Seymour cleared waivers for the 87th time in his career. That’s both newsworthy and not at the same time.

Monday will be off, and then it’s a double header against the Arrowheads to begin that four-game set. We’ll need a fifth starter again. And I am not at all quite sure yet with whom we’ll try to feel lucky then. Kyle Brobeck hadn’t exactly been *it* in his spot start this week. After the Indians it will be the Aces on the weekend. No further off day this month, either, so the spot starter for the second game on Tuesday would probably also have to hang around to do two more.

Maybe Salcido. Yeah. Maybe I hate myself *that* much.

Fun Fact: The two years Mike Preble led the CL in slugging (2048-49) were the only two years he played in the CL.

He started with the Scorpions, playing for them for ten seasons before signing with the Aces as free agent. The Aces went south in ’48, so the Coons picked him up at the deadline that year for Sadaharu Okuda. He then won both slugger trophies with a brown cap before becoming a free agent again and returning to the FL West with the Gold Sox.

[Westheim]

Pressed for another starting pitcher ahead of the double header with the Indians on Tuesday, the Raccoons started off the week by optioning Harry Ramsay back to AAA to make room for Josh Mayo, who contrary to the usual convention around here would start the first game of the double-header, be piggy-backed with Raul Medrano, who was on the roster but had yet to make his debut, and once those two had properly lost the opener to the Arrowheads, they’d be shipped back to AAA and we’d try the next snoutful of losing energy in line. A fifth starter would be needed twice more before rosters would expand, including on Saturday.

Raccoons (49-74) vs. Indians (64-59) – August 20-22, 2052

The Indians owned the Raccoons, at a 9-2 rate this year, and there was probably no point in getting anybody’s hopes up. All this despite them sitting ninth in runs scored and third in runs allowed with a +12 run differential (Coons: -18) and despite Chaz Kokel and Chase Clover on the DL.

Projected matchups:
Josh Mayo (0-0, 10.50 ERA) vs. Steve Miles (5-5, 4.07 ERA)
Rafael de la Cruz (8-8, 2.99 ERA) vs. Bill Nichol (4-3, 4.66 ERA)
Seisaku Taki (13-7, 2.73 ERA) vs. Enrique Ortiz (13-6, 2.29 ERA)
Cameron Argenziano (0-4, 4.53 ERA) vs. Adam Foley (6-8, 4.04 ERA)

All their options here were right-handed.

Game 1
IND: CF A. Mendez – SS de Castro – RF B. Quinteros – 3B B. Anderson – 1B Imai – C M. Gilmore – 2B R. White – LF Hare – P S. Miles
POR: SS Lavorano – 3B Crispin – LF Puckeridge – 2B Waters – RF Glodowski – CF Suzuki – C Raczka – 1B Maldonado – P Mayo

Josh Mayo lasted four innings, not because he was getting lit up that hard (although he was far from great), or because he dominated the Indians in ways that made them go home after four innings, but because the rain-induced double-header had some rain induced by the middle innings, and Mayo got swept away in a 90-minute rain delay, then trailing 2-1. Lonzo had singled, stolen a base, and scored on two groundouts in the first, but Alex de Castro had swung the score the other way with a 2-out, 2-run single in the third inning, driving in Rusty White, who had opened the inning with a single to center, and Josh Hare, one of two batters Mayo bluntly hit with a pitch in the brief outing.

So, to their delight, both teams were in the pen by the fifth inning, with at least 14 to go on the day, weather permitting. The Coons first sent Crisler for a scoreless fifth to clear the bottom of the order for themselves to insert the long man Medrano for multiple innings then. A lack of offensive outburst allowed Medrano to pitch for three innings, in the third of which he had de Castro and Bill Quinteros on base rather quickly. Bobby Anderson with one out lined to left-center, but Pucks took a tumble and was taken off the field on a stretcher, taking another chainsaw to my will to live. Adam Samples replaced him in the #3 spot and leftfield and came to the plate after Ed Crispin, after an extended period of nothingness from the home team, hit a 2-out triple in the bottom 8th to park the tying run in scoring position. Samples took a fastball from right-hander Pete Becker to short, though, and de Castro sure-handedly ended the inning. Jim Larson kept the 2-1 score in place in the ninth inning, but the same was true for Indy’s Heath Turner… 2-1 Indians. Glodowski 3-3, BB; Medrano 3.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 1 K;

Matt Glodowski reached base more often than the rest of the team combined, and yet never was in scoring position, somehow.

Pucks was being evaluated by Dr. Padilla as Game 2 began, which could never mean a good thing. The Raccoons had optioned Mayo (0-1, 8.10 ERA) and Medrano (0-0, 0.00 ERA) at the conclusion of the first game, and added spares ordered to Portland in the morning: Oscar Rivera (1-for-13 earlier this year) and Bryan Lenderink (groans).

Game 2
IND: LF R. White – SS de Castro – RF B. Quinteros – 3B B. Anderson – 1B Imai – C Poindexter – CF Locke – 2B D. Allen – P Nichol
POR: SS Lavorano – 3B Crispin – 1B Crum – RF Glodowski – CF Suzuki – 2B Sivertson – C Brewer – LF Samples – P de la Cruz

The Arrowheads put four runs on Raffy in the second inning of the second game on a long and depressing Tuesday. Bobby Anderson drew a leadoff walk, and four hits, both soft and sharp, followed. Philip Locke drove in two, Dan Allen and Rusty White both plated one, and I was longing for November. More failure followed, including with de la Cruz, who hit a single to right in the bottom 3rd, but was thrown out going all-in on a double. Ed Crispin then reached on an error by Toushi Imai in the fourth and was tripled home by Ken Crum, which at least got this crappy team on the board in unearned fashion. Glodowski then whiffed and Suzuki flew out to Bill Quinteros, who fired home to strike down Crum for a 9-2 double play.

Six innings was all for Raffy in this game. He, too, allowed an unearned run in the sixth inning, which saw hits for Anderson and Manny Poindexter, and then Brewer throwing away the baseball when Anderson made a bid to steal third base and instead scored altogether. Pitching next was Ryan Harmer, who allowed Rusty White on base with a single – White stole second – and then left the inning prematurely, having landed badly on a pitch to Alex de Castro leading to a sprained ankle. I had Maud check whether Preston Pinkerton was still playing baseball somewhere, but for now Eric Reese was the next poor soul thrown to the wolves … or Indians. He entered in a double switch with Oscar Rivera at the useless pelt’s expense.

But the most fun inning was probably the bottom of the eighth, when hapless Adam Samples wobbled on base with a leadoff single to left. Nichol threw a wild pitch, then walked Crispin with two outs after weak outs from Rivera and Lonzo. Poindexter lost a pitch for a passed ball, advancing the runners into scoring position, only for Crum, who had two extra base hits in the game, crummily ground out to Dan Allen. Hitchcock had to pitch the ninth in a hopeless situation, then was hit for with Matt Waters to begin the bottom 9th against lefty Ricky Garcia, who walked Waters, then got a spanker to Allen from Suzuki for a double play. THAT level of incompetence…! 5-1 Indians. Crum 2-3, BB, 3B, 2B, RBI;

By Wednesday Pucks was diagnosed with a bum knee, a sore elbow, and some hurt feelings about having been carted off whimpering for not a whole lot. The sore elbow was probably the biggest problem and he was day-to-day. Dr. Padilla recommended using him sparingly and not have him throw a lot, so first base was going to be it. He was not in the lineup on Wednesday, however.

Also day-to-day was Ryan Harmer, so that made two outta 25, half of whom sucked and where I didn’t care whether they were on the roster or washing down the Willamette anyway.

Game 3
IND: LF R. White – CF A. Mendez – RF B. Quinteros – 3B B. Anderson – 1B Imai – C Poindexter – SS de Castro – 2B D. Allen – P En. Ortiz
POR: SS Lavorano – C Raczka – 1B Crum – 2B Waters – CF Suzuki – RF Rivera – 3B Crispin – LF Samples – P Taki

What the **** was this lineup…? – Taking the lead by the fourth, somehow. Rusty White reached on an infield single to begin Wednesday’s game and was immediately doubled home by Mendez, but a Crum homer tied the score again in the bottom 1st. The 1-1 then held until the fourth when Suzuki and Crispin hit the corners with two outs and Adam Samples drove a ball into the gap in right-center for a stunning 2-run double and a 3-1 lead. To Taki’s credit, he fought like a lion – the Indians hit three doubles, one of them the Mendez RBI double in the first inning, in the early innings, but he didn’t give them more than that one run through seven innings, but was still squeezed out when a pair of shy 2-out singles by always-bothersome Bill Quinteros and Bobby Anderson, put the tying runs on base ahead of Toushi Imai, batting lefty, .260, and with eight homers. The Coons went to Lillis, the Indians when to Mike Gilmore, and Lillis went a dozen feet outside with a 1-1 pitch that chased Raczka to the backstop and Quinteros across home plate, 3-2. Gilmore was lost on balls, and the lead was lost on a Poindexter single. Exit Lillis, enter Johns, and then a K to de Castro, a couple of batters too late.

The Coons reclaimed the lead in the bottom 8th on the most stupid sequence in baseball history, or at least in this series. Suzuki led off with a single off Ortiz, then stole second. Poindexter’s throw was to the wrong side of second base, Allen had to reach across, but missed the ball, which on the bounce hit the sliding Suzuki in the loose helmet, and both helmet and ball went tumbling into centerfield, while Suzuki rumbled to third base. Oscar Rivera, batting all of .059 then floated a ball to shallow center that Mendez and de Castro both chased after. Mendez went into a slide, but couldn’t reach the ball, and merely tackled de Castro into some airtime. The ball dinked and bounced for an RBI double until contained by Rusty White. Crispin walked, Samples popped out, and Maldo was nicked when he pinch-hit for Johns. Ortiz then struck out Lonzo for the second out, only to give up a 2-out, 2-2, 2-run double to Jeff ******* Raczka, for which he was correctly removed from the game and kicked down the tunnel to the clubhouse by their manager. Crum added an RBI double against Ricky Garcia, and Jim Larson put the game away in the ninth. 7-3 Raccoons. Crum 3-4, BB, HR, 2 2B, 2 RBI; Suzuki 2-4; Crispin 2-3, BB; Taki 7.2 IP, 7 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 2 BB, 6 K;

No, I don’t think the Arrowheads will make the playoffs either…

Game 4
IND: CF A. Mendez – SS de Castro – RF B. Quinteros – 3B B. Anderson – C M. Gilmore – 2B R. White – 1B Lovell – LF Locke – P Foley
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – LF Crum – 1B Puckeridge – CF Suzuki – C Brewer – 3B Sivertson – RF Maldonado – P Argenziano

Argenziano didn’t allow a base hit the first time through, but still managed to be 3-0 behind by the fourth inning, giving up a leadoff single to de Castro, a walk to Anderson, and a truly depressingly long 3-run homer to left to Mike Gilmore… The Coons, who until then hadn’t had much luck, then got straight singles from Pucks, Suzuki, and Brewer for one run in the bottom 4th, a Sivertson double for another run, and then an intentional walk to Maldo and strikeouts on Argenziano and Waters to strand the bags full in a 3-2 game.

While a Crum double in the fifth and Sivertson and Crispin hits in the sixth led nowhere, the latter inning ending again with a K for Waters, the Indians added a run with yet another Gilmore homer, going up 4-2 in the sixth on Argenziano, who was not seen again afterwards. Toushi Imai homered and Quinteros drove home Mendez off Bryan Lenderink (bites into his clenched fist) in the seventh, while the Coons in the same inning pissed another pair of singles by their 3-4 batters away. There were another five hits and a walk against Lenderink and Reese in the eighth inning, sprinkled with a clownshoe play by Maldo in rightfield when he stumbled to drop a ball, to concede another five runs to the Indians in that completely ********** frame. In addition to that, down by nine, Mitch Sivertson singled and was caught stealing in the bottom of the inning. 11-2 Indians. Crum 2-5, 2B; Puckeridge 2-4; Sivertson 3-4, 2B, RBI; Rivera (PH) 1-1;

Let me get this straight, Maud. The municipal waste collection department says they WILL take the entire team, but we need to file for a permit to dump radioactive garbage first? – Good, get the paperwork done, please.

Waiver claim

The Raccoons were awarded the contract of 33-year-old left-hander Dave Saldivar (4-6, 2.85 ERA) on Friday after claiming him off waivers from the Aces, who were on their way into Portland. Saldivar had been an infrequent starter in the majors, and had made 15 starts even this year. His stuff was unimpressive (3.8 K/9) and he was always quick to blame others for his bad outings, but at least he would fit right into our volatile clubhouse. He took the roster spot of Lenderink, who was flicked onto waivers once more, while Saldivar was penciled in to make the start on Saturday.

Raccoons (50-77) vs. Aces (61-66) – August 23-25, 2052

Last in during this spectacularly feckless homestand were the Aces, themselves far out in the South. While fifth in runs scored, they had a -18 run differential thanks to the fourth-most runs allowed. The lineup had power, but little speed, and the bullpen was more brittle than the rotation, but you had to get to that first… The Coons had already been dropped for the season series, having won only one of the first six games.

Projected matchups:
Jason Wheatley (3-6, 4.24 ERA) vs. Chris Cornelius (0-0, 0.00 ERA)
Dave Saldivar (4-6, 2.85 ERA) vs. Medardo Regueir (8-10, 3.77 ERA)
Rafael de la Cruz (8-9, 3.10 ERA) vs. Carlos Malla (6-9, 3.41 ERA)

We might get two southpaws in the last two games, while the first game was the comeback for the right-hander Cornelius, who had pitched one third of an inning on Opening Day before missing most of the year with radial nerve compression.

Game 1
LVA: 1B E. Luna – RF Austin – SS Welter – C DeFrank – LF Bishop – 2B J. White – CF Patton – 3B Stone – P Cornelius
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – LF Crum – 1B Puckeridge – CF Suzuki – RF Glodowski – 3B Crispin – C Brewer – P Wheatley

The first three innings saw the usual ho-hum run for the other team, this time with Doug Patton, batting .100, singling home Steve Bishop for a 1-0 lead in the second inning, and the Raccoons doing mostly nothing, and I figured that, que sera, sera. A surprise home run by Lonzo to open the bottom 4th then tied the game, and Crum also got on base, although he was forced out by Pucks. Didn’t matter – Suzuki fired another homer, his first of the year even, for a 3-1 lead. Glodowski, Crispin, and Brewer then all filtered on base for Wheatley, who hit a sac fly to Patton for a fourth run before Waters continued his dry spell with a groundout to second base and an end to the inning.

The Coons went on to strand more pairs in the fifth and sixth, while Wheats wobbled another run across home plate as Aubrey Austin walked and scored on a wild pitch with two outs in the sixth inning. Wheats did finish that inning and added a scoreless seventh, however, remaining in possession of a 4-2 lead. Bottom 7th, Josh Pennington pitching for the Aces. Crum singled, Pucks doubled, but by then Crum had already been picked off first base, and Suzuki’s grounder moved the runner to third base, but that was already for the second out. Penington then was kind enough to balk Pucks across home plate, 5-2, before the useless pelt could strike out. Lillis and Hitchcock didn’t let any Ace on base anyway in the last two innings. 5-2 Raccoons. Crum 2-4; Puckeridge 2-4, 2B; Suzuki 2-4, HR, 2B, 2 RBI; Crispin 2-4, 2B; Wheatley 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 3 BB, 5 K, W (4-6) and 1-2, RBI;

Back-to-back wins for Wheats…!

Game 2
LVA: SS Hager – RF Austin – C DeFrank – CF J. Harris – 2B J. White – 3B Welter – LF D. Encarnacion – 1B E. Luna – P Regueir
POR: SS Lavorano – 3B Sivertson – 1B Crum – 2B Waters – RF Glodowski – C Brewer – LF Rivera – CF Samples – P Saldivar

Saldivar was the 25th pitcher to dress up for the Critters this year, which struck me as a bit much, just like when Oscar Rivera and Adam Samples went yard back-to-back in the bottom 2nd, which was laying on the fan fiction a bit much, wasn’t it? Oh, no, wait, Saldivar cocked it all up immediately, allowing singles to Danny Encarnacion and Eddy Luna (waves to the ex-Coon), then walked Aubrey Austin and Ray DeFrank with two outs, the latter to walk in a run, before Jonathan Harrris tied the game with a single to left, although Rivera also threw out Austin at home plate to end the inning. Furthermore, Rivera socked home another Coons lead with a 2-out RBI double to score Glodowski in the bottom 4th, 3-2. Samples was walked intentionally by the Aces, but Salvidar grounded out to first base. In the sixth, with Waters and Glodowski on base, however, Rivera struck out, and so did Samples, stranding the runners.

Somewhat surprisingly, Saldivar carried the lead into the seventh inning anyway, when things collapsed after a throwing error by Sivertson put Encarnacion and the tying run on second base right away. Dave Blair walked, and Regueir bunted the runners into scoring position. Johns replaced Saldivar, but got a lefty pinch-hitter in Steve Bishop, who hit a sac fly for the go-ahead run. Wait, what? Oh right, in between, the tying run had already scored on a wild pitch. Silly me. Already forgot that. Or maybe I fainted. (shrugs!)

Bottom 7th, the Coons had the corners with one out once Lonzo walked and Sivertson snipped a single over the glove of White at second base. Crum, who had been blistering hot against the Indians (6 XBH), had yet to find his bearings against Vegas, but at least Bishop fudged his grounder over second base for a run-scoring error, flattening the score at four. Waters whiffed, while Glodowski hit a 2-out, 2-run double to reclaim the lead, 6-4. Brewer then grounded out to short. Crisler held the line in the eighth before the Coons tacked on against the Aces pen. Rivera reached on another Bishop error and moved to second on a groundout. Pucks pinch-hit for Crisler, but was walked intentionally. Lonzo then drove in two with a liner, but was left on base himself. Harmer then returned from the bum ankle, but put a pair of runners on base in Jeremy Welter and Encarnacion. With lefty pinch-hitter Bobby Ortega up, Lillis came in, despite the 8-4 lead now being in save-situation danger. One grounder from Ortega to Waters was good enough for the last two outs, though, and that ended the game. 8-4 Furballs. Lavorano 2-5, 2 RBI; Sivertson 2-4, BB; Glodowski 2-3, BB, 2 2B, 2 RBI; Rivera 2-4, HR, 2B, 2 RBI;

Game 3
LVA: CF Blair – RF Austin – SS Welter – C DeFrank – LF Bishop – 2B J. White – 1B E. Luna – 3B Stone – P Malla
POR: SS Lavorano – 3B Sivertson – 1B Crum – 2B Waters – RF Glodowski – C Brewer – LF Rivera – CF Samples – P de la Cruz

While Ken Crum homered in the bottom of the first inning for a 1-0 lead, the Aces ended both of the first two innings with having a runner thrown out at home plate – and still took a 2-1 lead in between with Rafael de la Cruz getting slapped from every side and in every fashion. The Aces ripped him for five hits, most for extra bases, including an RBI triple by Travis Stone and an RBI double by Carlos Malla with two outs in the second. Malla was then thrown out at home on a Dave Blair single. Austin had been thrown out at home in the first inning, by Samples and Rivera, respectively. Blair doubled home Luna and Stone in the fourth inning to extend the lead to 4-1, and Raffy’s outing ended after just five innings of getting incessantly whacked around.

Add to that the usual Coons haplessness, which included double plays by Lonzo after a Raffy single, then Pucks finding a double play to kill off Sivertson’s leadoff single when he batted *for* Raffy. The Raccoons’ bullpen unleashed a parade of Larson, Reese, Crisler, and Harmer, who all kept the Aces from doing further damage, but all to no avail for a very apparent lack of counterattack out of the Portland team until the bottom of the ninth rolled around against right-hander Adam Eutsler. After a first out by the useless pelt, Raczka batted for Brewer and walked. Rivera singled over short then, bringing up the tying run in … uh, Samples. Pucks had already been used, of course, so the Coons went to Mikio Suzuki, who coaxed a walk. The chance for a walkoff slam was then with Maldo, who struck out, and Lonzo, who grounded out to first base. 4-1 Aces. Crum 2-4, HR, 2B, RBI; Brewer 0-1, 2 BB; Rivera 2-4;

In other news

August 20 – Loggers 1B/RF/LF Gaudencio Callaia (.303, 11 HR, 64 RBI) was out with a sprained thumb and might miss a full month.
August 21 – SFW INF Julio Moriel (.325, 3 HR, 49 RBI) should be out for three weeks with a sprained thumb.
August 24 – IND LF/RF/1B Bill Quinteros (.306, 11 HR, 64 RBI) swats three homers and collects five RBI in a 7-5 win over the Condors.
August 24 – The Knights beat the Titans, 5-4 in 14 innings.

FL Player of the Week: NAS 1B Alejandro Ramos (.313, 28 HR, 86 RBI), bashing .389 (7-18) with 3 HR, 9 RBI
CL Player of the Week: OCT OF Mike Allen (.299, 8 HR, 28 RBI), dishing .478 (11-23) with 3 HR, 9 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Also with 11 hits this week, in 26 attempts, was Ken Crum, eight of them hits for extra bases, and with two homers and five RBI. Not enough for Player of the Week honors, though. But if you add 34 points of OPS in a week in August, you have to be doing something right.

What else in terms of injury news? Fernando Perez started a rehab assignment on Saturday and will probably come up when rosters expand, unless the team bus is hit by more meteorites than usual next week. Then, the plan was to bring back Harry Ramsay in September for a longer look, but we can tear that one up as well, since the first day back in AAA the little bugger decided to break his wrist. He’s now in a cast, and we’ll have to glare at that .188 clip in nine games until next year.

Roster expansion will hit us on Sunday, but the Coons will be on the road until then, hitting up the Falcons and Loggers. Or, getting hit up by them. Something like that.

Fun Fact: Previous players to hit three homers in a game as an Indian include Ron Alston.

He did so in 2003 in a win against the Crusaders. That was his age 23 season (but nevertheless the second in which he won Player of the Year honors), and five years before he came over to the Critters in a big mid-season deal.

Alston, a power AND average threat for almost his entire 21-year career, won three Player of the Year titles in the CL in total, though no one with the Critters, who couldn’t hold him after he reached free agency in 2010 on the heels of a World Series loss to the Cyclones, his second and final time in the World Series, both on the losing side. He won three batting titles, four home run crowns (one with the Coons in ’09), and finished his career with a .307/.395/.491 slash line, 2,993 hits (oof), 475 homers, and 1,598 RBI. The home runs are still the all-time high-water mark, while the RBI’s ranked him third behind Will Bailey (1,714) and Martin Ortíz (1,666 then; 1,670 eventually) when he retired. Since then, Danny Santillano (1,755) and Pablo Sanchez (1,688) have also moved past.

He was elected to the Hall of Fame in 2025 (one year after Brownie) with 97.8% of the votes.

[UltimateAverageGuy]

Never a 500 home run guy in here, amazing!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Westheim]

Originally Posted by UltimateAverageGuy

Never a 500 home run guy in here, amazing!

It's a league of "You hit .300 too? Cute."

[Westheim]

Raccoons (52-78) @ Falcons (68-61) – August 26-28, 2052

Road trip! The Coons would take their sucking elsewhere, and would probably punch their sub-.500 season somewhere between Charlotte and Milwaukee. First up were the third-place Falcons, 13 games out and done in the CL South, who were third in runs scored and sixth in runs allowed, as well as 5-1 in games against hapless Critters this season.

Projected matchups:
Seisaku Taki (13-7, 2.76 ERA) vs. Andy Overy (11-6, 3.70 ERA)
Cameron Argenziano (0-5, 4.70 ERA) vs. Hiroyuki Takagi (7-11, 4.59 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (4-6, 4.14 ERA) vs. Chris Jones (5-9, 3.81 ERA)

Overy was the left-hander in residence in Charlotte, while a number of regulars there were on the DL, including Ian Woodrome and Mike Allegood.

Game 1
POR: SS Lavorano – 2B Waters – CF Puckeridge – LF Crum – RF Glodowski – 3B Sivertson – C Brewer – 1B Maldonado – P Taki
CHA: SS Arreola – 1B Tinoco – RF D. Ceballos – CF Caballero – 2B E. Stevens – C Gowin – LF Kinoshiita – 3B J. Frazier – P Overy

Thanks to a Juan Arreola triple and Adrian Tinoco’s single, the Falcons took the lead and won the game without making an out in the first inning. Actually, no, the Coons got a 2-run homer from Aaron Brewer following a Sivertson single in the second, and took a 2-1 lead, but then again, the Falcons got ANOTHER leadoff triple from Chris Gowin in the bottom 2nd and easily retied the game. Those triples fell to either side of Matt Glodowski and his useless pelt. The Falcons then added three stolen bases – two by Danny Ceballos and one by Oscar Caballero in his wake – in the bottom 3rd, but no runs once Sivertson made a nifty bare-pawed play on a Gowin grounder to close out the inning. Ceballos stole a third base, his 45th of the year in his chase of Lonzo, in the bottom 5th, and that after singling home Arreola for a 3-2 Falcons lead, and I didn’t know which part there annoyed me more.

The Coons then shed Pucks to injury yet again in the sixth inning. Him and Waters were on base to begin the inning, but when Crum crummily grounded to Erik Stevens, Pucks crashed violently with Arreola at second base to break up the double play, and perhaps a leg or two. He was also ruled out, adding insult to injury. Suzuki replaced him in the bottom 6th, while the Coons tied the score at three with a run-scoring groundout by Glodowski. Taki held the score through seven innings, throwing 113 pitches, but Overy struck out the side still in the eighth inning, and Taki had to settle for a no-decision. Justin Johns retired the 4-5-6 batters in order in the bottom 8th, and got in line for the win when the Coons began the ninth with singles against right-hander Ben Arner. Crum got on, stole second base on what was supposed to be a hit-and-run, but Glodowski fell asleep, and then scored from there when Glodowski actually put his useless pelt into action and singled to left-center. Sivertson and Brewer both singled to fill the bases with nobody out for Maldo, who popped out to Tinoco. Ed Crispin struck out. Lonzo grounded out to short. (sigh!) At least Hitchcock put the Falcons away in order in the bottom of the ninth… 4-3 Raccoons. Sivertson 2-4; Brewer 3-4, HR, 2 RBI;

Pucks was unavailable and still getting checked out at the local hospital on Tuesday.

Game 2
POR: SS Lavorano – LF Sivertson – 1B Crum – 2B Waters – RF Rivera – C Raczka – CF Suzuki – 3B Crispin – P Argenziano
CHA: RF D. Ceballos – 2B E. Stevens – LF Caballero – CF Whitehead – 3B J. Frazier – C Gowin – 1B Rogers – SS Arreola – P Takagi

Lonzo drew a leadoff walk (!), but couldn’t get a steal off (…) in the first inning; he did however get singled home by Ken Crum after a groundout by Sivertson moved him to second base. Ed Crispin doubled home Suzuki in the second inning, then scored himself on a throwing error by Takagi, who tossed away a 2-out roller by Lonzo, who ended up on second base, stole third for #49, but was left there by Sivertson. Lonzo then fumbled a ball himself in the bottom of the same inning, letting Chris Gowin on base in addition to Ethan Whitehead and his leadoff single. Phil Rogers looped an RBI single to center, 3-1, but Arreola hit into a 6-4-3 double play to end the inning. Lonzo had *another* error in the third inning, but then the Falcons had no other base runners in that frame. He was then caught stealing in the fifth by Gowin, continuing a very much mixed evening for him.

Waters and Rivera began the sixth with singles before the next three batters made three increasingly pathetic outs, and nobody scored or even reached third base. Winless Argenziano got through six with semi-decent success, but then walked Arreola and gave up a single to the pinch-hitting Eiji Kinoshiita in the seventh inning, getting yanked with one out. The bullpen then failed him greatly; Reese and Larson entered in succession, and between them logged zero outs and waved four runs across before Paul Crisler found a way out of the meltdown, even when Raczka insisted on putting another batter on base via catcher’s interference. Danny Ceballos doubled home a run, and Erik Stevens singled to tie the game. Oscar Caballero made it 5-3 with another double. The Raccoons failed – to answer, as well as in general; and the Falcons even the series with two more quick innings out of Marcos Nabo and Ben Arner. 5-3 Falcons. Lavorano 2-4, BB; Rivera 2-4; Raczka 2-4;

By Wednesday, Alan Puckeridge sported a brace on his throwing paw and was sent to the DL. A tear had been found in a ligament in his thumb, and it looked like he might miss the rest of the season.

(groans)

The Raccoons turned to the second player they had received from the Warriors in the David Barel trade, #37 prospect OF Nick Thomason, who was batting .301 with a homer in 35 games with the Alley Cats and who would have been a September call-up anyway. The first player from that deal was of course Fernando Perez, but he’d only return on Sunday, sticking in AAA on a rehab assignment til then.

Game 3
POR: SS Lavorano – LF Sivertson – 1B Crum – 2B Waters – CF Suzuki – C Raczka – 3B Crispin – RF Maldonado – P Wheatley
CHA: SS Arreola – 1B Tinoco – RF D. Ceballos – CF Caballero – 2B E. Stevens – LF D. Diaz – C Gowin – 3B J. Frazier – P A. Velasquez

Right-hander Angel Velasquez (7-7, 4.26 ERA) made the start in the rubber game for Charlotte, and allowed only Matt Waters on base with a leadoff walk that led nowhere the first time through, but in the fourth inning ran into having the bags loaded with Sivertson and Waters singles, then a 1-out walk to Suzuki. Jeff Raczka flew out poorly on a 3-2 pitch, keeping all the runners pinned, and Crispin grounded to Stevens for … a 2-base throwing error, giving the Coons a 2-0 lead. Maldo didn’t get a chance to bat, and Wheatley flew out to Ceballos to strand a full set. Which was fine as long as he kept the Falcons off the bags, which he also didn’t in the bottom 4th. Ceballos, Caballero and Diaz all hit singles, and they tied the game at two with them…

A leadoff walk to Josh Frazier in the bottom 5th brought about more trouble. Velasquez failed to bunt until he jabbed a single past Waters, and Adrian Tinoco gave the team a 3-2 lead with a sac fly. Ceballos reached on an infield single, but Caballero struck out to leave runners on the corners. The Coons answered with getting Crispin on first base in the sixth, then having Maldo double into left-center after him. Crispin was sent around third base on the play, thrown out at home, and Maldo was stranded at second base in another inning worthy of biting into a clenched fist.

Another Stevens error put Lonzo on base in the seventh inning, and he reached third as the tying run on a quick Sivertson single. Crum grounded out crummily, moving Sivertson to second, but nothing else, but Matt Waters came through with a singed single over Stevens’ glove and right-center, allowing both the tying and go-ahead runners to score, 4-3…! Wheats got rid of the 1-2-3 in that fashion in the home half of the inning, then was hit for with Oscar Rivera after Maldo had singled to right with one out against Marcos Nabo. Rivera singled to center in his spot, and Nabo nicked Lonzo with the next pitch, loading them up for Sivertson, who hit a looper to Ceballos’ feet for an RBI single, but Crum with a comebacker for a force out at home, and Waters with a grounder to short, then left three runners stranded in the inning… Justin Johns worked around a leadoff infield single for Ceballos to protect the 2-run lead in the bottom 8th, and then we sent in Hitchcock to shoo all the birds away. 5-3 Coons. Sivertson 3-4, BB, RBI; Waters 2-4, BB, 2 RBI; Malconado 2-3, BB, 2B; Rivera (PH) 1-1;

Raccoons (54-79) @ Loggers (62-72) – August 29-September 1, 2052

We had seven more games with the Loggers, including four in Milwaukee to finish out the month of August. The season series, which the Raccoons had won for eight straight years, was still tightly fought over, with the Coons narrowly ahead, 6-5, to begin the series. They were fourth in runs scored, but were giving up the very most runs in the CL, which had yet to help the Coons a lot this year. They had a -30 run differential, marginally worse than the Critters (-23).

Projected matchups:
Dave Saldivar (4-6, 2.85 ERA) vs. Dave Serio (7-14, 4.85 ERA)
Rafael de la Cruz (8-10, 3.22 ERA) vs. Angelo Munoz (13-8, 2.95 ERA)
Seisaku Taki (13-7, 2.80 ERA) vs. Noah Hollis (10-11, 3.96 ERA)
Cameron Argenziano (0-5, 4.65 ERA) vs. Josh Costello (9-11, 4.48 ERA)

All right-handers from the Loggers; but no Zach Suggs and Gaudencio Callaia, both on the DL, removing the most significant threats from that lineup.

Game 1
POR: SS Lavorano – 3B Crispin – 1B Crum – 2B Waters – LF Rivera – CF Suzuki – C Brewer – RF Thomason – P Saldivar
MIL: 2B R. Lopez – 3B Barrington – CF Steinbacher – 1B Yamamoto – LF C. Lowe – SS K. Leon – RF Sayre – C J. Jimenez – P Serio

The Loggers went up early, and by a bunch. Jack Barrington and Phil Steinbacher hit singles off Saldivar in the first, and Shuta Yamamoto, of all people, hit a sac fly for a 1-0 lead. Saldivar nailed Kenny Leon in the bottom 2nd, walked Craig Sayre, there was a wild pitch, a Serio sac fly, and an RBI double over Suzuki’s head by Ricky Lopez, 3-0. Somehow Barrington flew out to Nick Thomason without driving in another 26 runs. The Coons scored in the third inning, however, with Thomason in his debut featuring quite bigly. First he forced out Aaron Brewer, but then stole second base and scored on a Saldivar single, 3-1.

The Loggers kept getting on base against Saldivar, although both Sayre in the third and Lopez in the fourth were caught stealing by Aaron Brewer, who however didn’t make it out of the fifth inning; on a double to left to move Suzuki from first to third base he pulled up lame and left the ballgame, to be replaced by Raczka. Thomason was added to the bases intentionally, bringing up Saldivar with three on and two gone. The Coons opted for Maldonado, who opted to strike out, and stranded the full set.

The Raccoons then had another bullpen explosion in the bottom of the sixth inning. Ryan Harmer walked two and allowed a single before getting yanked, but Brett Lillis failed to contain the flood. He gave up a bases-clearing double to Sayre, then a single to Juan Jimenez that was overrun by Rivera for an error, which in turn allowed Sayre to score. Jim Larson restored order after that by getting four outs without cocking up another four runs, while the Raccoons did … little in response, although Nick Thomason got his first career hit with an eighth-inning single off Serio.

And yet, the ninth inning. Lefty David Fox pitched and gave up a leadoff single to Lonzo, who stole his 50th bag. Crispin was out, but Crum singled home Lonzo before Waters and Rivera packed the bases full, which put the tying run somewhere you could see it, the on-deck circle. Willie Gonzales replaced Fox, while Glodowski batted for Reese in Suzuki’s deserted spot. He lined out to Ricky Lopez. Raczka, who could not be hit for, grounded out to Ricky Lopez. And that was the game. 7-2 Loggers. Lavorano 2-5; Crum 2-5, RBI; Brewer 2-3, 2B; Raczka 1-2;

Brewer was day-to-day with a bruised knee. He was technically available to catch. Since roster expansion was only two days away, the Raccoons didn’t get cute there; Raczka was going to start the next two games, and we’d get a third catcher anyway on Sunday. Brewer was probably going to be affected for up to a week.

Game 2
POR: SS Lavorano – 3B Crispin – 1B Crum – 2B Waters – LF Rivera – C Raczka – CF Thomason – RF Maldonado – P de la Cruz
MIL: LF Sayre – 2B R. Lopez – C C. Thomas – CF Steinbacher – RF C. Lowe – 1B Yamamoto – SS K. Leon – 3B Barrington – P A. Munoz

After Steinbacher’s leadoff single in the bottom 2nd, Raffy walked the bags full and gave up a sac fly to Kenny Leon. Considering he then struck out the 8-9 batters to escape and gave up only one run, he probably got off easy, not including his pitch count, which was already at 40 tosses. The Coons tied the game right away; Maldo hit a leadoff single to right, was bunted to second, and then scored on a Lonzo single in the third inning, only for straight hits by the 2-3-4 batters to give a new 2-1 lead to Milwaukee in the bottom of the same frame. Nope, it once more wasn’t Raffy’s day, and he was gone after six very mixed innings, and not without giving up a solo homer to Chris Thomas in the fifth to trail 3-1. Asking the Coons to rally was like asking the lion not to eat the lambs, and then Craig Sayre added an insurance run with a homer off Eric Reese in the seventh. For the second day in a row the Raccoons did nothing spectacular against the worst pitching in the CL – until loading the bags in the ninth inning with Suzuki, Lonzo, and Crispin. By then, there were already two outs, but at least Ken Crum was up with the tying runs laid out in front of him. Willie Gonzales had him at 1-2, then threw one into Crum’s chest for a run-by-statute. Crum crawled to first base, sputtering concering amounts of blood, and then was stranded anyway when Matt Waters easily flew out to Chris Lowe in rightfield. 4-2 Loggers. Lavorano 3-5, RBI; Thomason 2-4; Maldonado 3-4;

Game 3
POR: 2B Waters – SS Sivertson – 1B Crum – RF Rivera – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – RF Glodowski – C Raczka – P Taki
MIL: LF Sayre – 2B R. Lopez – C C. Thomas – CF Steinbacher – RF C. Lowe – 1B Yamamoto – SS K. Leon – 3B Barrington – P Hollis

Once back in the leadoff spot, Waters opened the Saturday game with a homer to right, which he somehow couldn’t get done when batting cleanup… Chris Lowe countered with a leadoff jack of his own in the bottom 2nd, with Taki having a bit of a struggle, uncharacteristically being behind in the count a lot in the early innings. Oscar Rivera countered that one with a solo jack in the fourth for a 2-1 lead, which was the score Taki still held after five innings, although it was far from pretty. He had walked five batters (four unintentionally), against only two strikeouts, and with 81 pitches on the odometer. His sixth was not any better. He walked Leon, Barrington singled, and somehow at least Noah Hollis struck out to keep the Loggers behind. That would be all for Taki, in perhaps his most unsatisfying start all year.

Lonzo batted for Taki, unsuccessfully, in the top of the seventh to keep his perfect attendance record in order, while the bullpen was dismantled in the bottom of the eighth once again. Lillis had pitched a clean seventh, but hung around for a 1-out walk to Lowe in the eighth inning. Johns replaced him, nailed Yamamoto, walked Leon, and then gave up three runs on knocks by Barrington and ex-Coon Juan Jimenez. Crisler walked three and gave up a sac fly to Lopez in between, and Lowe singled in a run off Reese, the only batter whom the left-hander faced. Yamamoto grounded out against Harmer, but by then six runs had scored and I was a bit numb. 7-2 Loggers. Crum 2-4; Rivera 2-4, HR, RBI; Maldonado (PH) 1-1;

And now, September – and even more clowns on the roster…! Huzzah…!!

Phil Baker, Victor Salcido, and Mike Snyder were added for the pitching side of things. Salcido however had just started an AAA game on Saturday, so would not be available until Thursday. Tyler Philipps returned as third catcher. Fernando Perez returned from his rehab assignment. The only other hitter brought up was Dave Blackshire, a third baseman, age 24, who had been batting .255 with four homers in his third AAA season after a quick rise from being taken at #23 in the ’48 draft, but had worryingly plateaued hitting for a .720-ish OPS in AAA.

Game 4
POR: SS Lavorano – CF Perez – 1B Crum – 2B Waters – LF Rivera – 3B Crispin – RF Maldonado – C Raczka – P Argenziano
MIL: SS K. Leon – 3B Barrington – C C. Thomas – 1B Yamamoto – RF Pigman – CF Shepard – LF Sayre – 2B N. Carr – P Costello

Lonzo singled and stole his 52nd base, with Perez walking behind him in his return from Injuryland. Crum and Waters then in succession hit into fielders’ choices at second base, which got Lonzo home for an early run, before the bags filled with a walk drawn by Rivera and a soft single by Crispin, but Maldo grounded out to strand the whole lot of them. The lead disappeared when Winless Argenziano failed the bags full with the 2-3-4 batters in the bottom 1st, then gave up a game-tying infield single to debutee Perry Pigman in his first major league at-bat. Marquis Shepard and Craig Sayre nevertheless made poor outs to strand a full set. Nick Carr, the second debutee on the home team, drew a leadoff walk in the bottom 2nd, but Costello bunted into a double play. Failure accelerated quickly, though, with Leon singling his way on base, advancing on a passed ball, and scoring on a Barrington single that bounced off Rivera’s chest in left for an extra base to concede the run.

The Loggers continued to put runners on base against Argenziano, but found double plays to kill crowded situations in both of the next two innings. By the fifth, Raczka reached base, but was forced out on a bad bunt by Argenziano, who was trying his best to make himself redundant. Lonzo and Perez reached to bring up Ken Crum with the bags full and one out, but he struck out. Waters worked a full count for a game-tying walk, but Rivera floated out to Marquis Shepard to end the inning with three left stranded. Two pitches into the bottom 5th, Shuta Yamamoto went yard to left-center to give the Loggers a new lead. It was exasperating.

Their tosser gone after five ****** innings, the Raccoons turned to some new arrivals and gave the ball to Snyder for the sixth. The right-hander quickly showed why he had gotten the boot after 26 appearances to begin the season, piling up Costello (who forced out Nick Carr), Leon, and Barrington with one out before being yanked for Lillis, who waved home all the runners with Chris Thomas’ run-scoring groundout and a 2-run double for Yamamoto. Matt Waters drove in Fernando Perez in the seventh, which wasn’t nearly enough to rally, and Shepard and Sayre doubles off Harmer in the bottom 7th nixed that lone run anyway.

After Mitch Sivertson and Tyler Philipps opened the eighth with pinch-hit singles, three different Loggers relievers got pathetic outs from the next three Coons hitters, and nobody scored. Top 9th, Crispin singled home Waters and his leadoff double against Ryan Clements, who was then replaced with Willie Gonzales. Glodowski batted for an 0-for-4 Maldo, grounded into a double play, and that completed the sweep. 7-4 Loggers. Lavorano 2-5; Perez 2-4, BB; Waters 2-4, BB, 2B, 3 RBI; Crispin 4-5, RBI; Raczka 1-2, BB; Sivertson (PH) 1-1; Philipps (PH) 1-1;

In other news

August 26 – Colombian rookie LAP OF Bill Cardoza (.252, 4 HR, 18 RBI) goes yard in the top of the 14th inning to provide for a 7-5 win over the Capitals.
August 27 – CIN SS/3B Juan Ojeda (.309, 4 HR, 60 RBI) should be out for three weeks with a case of shoulder tendinitis.
August 28 – The Canadiens’ 3B/SS Dan Mullen (.322, 3 HR, 57 RBI) has hit in 20 straight games after a pair of doubles in an 11-3 beating of the Knights.
August 28 – The Aces get wobbled by the Titans, 15-2, with six runs driven in by BOS OF Tony Lopez (.246, 15 HR, 44 RBI) on three base hits, including two homers.
August 29 – It’s a no-hitter! SFB SP Jesse Bulas (7-8, 4.10 ERA) issues three walks and seven strikeouts, but no base hits in a 3-0 complete-game win over the Condors, for the first no-hitter of the season and the first Bayhawks no-hitter since Ben Lipsky’s in 2029.
August 29 – SAC 2B Hugo Acosta (.400, 0 HR, 16 RBI) aches over the 3,000 career hits line with a 4-for-5 day in an 8-0 shutout of the Wolves. The 38-year-old Acosta, who had only 52 hits in limited action on the year prior to the game, jumps all the way to 3,001 career hits in his 18-year career. Batting .336 with 30 HR and 1,112 RBI, the FL veteran won four batting titles in his 20s and made five All Star teams, but never won a World Series ring.
August 30 – After Bulas’ no-hitter on Thursday, Tijuana’s 21-year-old rookie Luis Chapa (.223, 7 HR, 36 RBI) answers with a cycle on Friday. The youngster gets all the hits possible exactly once and drives in three runs in an 11-2 Condors win.
August 31 – It takes 17 innings and mutual runs scored in the 15th along the way for the Canadiens to beat the Titans, 8-6.
September 1 – The Thunder and Falcons both score single runs in the 13th and 14th innings before the Thunder move ahead in the 16th inning for good for a 9-7 victory.

FL Player of the Week: CIN OF Chad Williams (.276, 12 HR, 63 RBI), batting .545 (12-22) with 2 HR, 6 RBI
CL Player of the Week: IND LF/RF/1B Bill Quinteros (.309, 14 HR, 72 RBI), swatting .450 (9-20) with 3 HR, 8 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: NAS 1B Alejandro Ramos (.319, 30 HR, 88 RBI), swatting .402 with 7 HR, 23 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: IND LF/RF/1B Bill Quinteros (.309, 13 HR, 70 RBI), hitting .321 with 7 HR, 25 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: CIN SP Austin Wilcox (13-11, 3.75 ERA), going 4-1 with a 1.05 ERA, 27 K in six starts
CL Pitcher of the Month: IND SP Tan Brink (14-8, 2.78 ERA), tossing for a 5-0 mark with 1.42 ERA, 40 K in six games
FL Rookie of the Month: SAL INF/RF Joe Humphries (.287, 5 HR, 37 RBI), batting .337 with 3 HR, 19 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: IND 1B Toushi Imai (.265, 12 HR, 32 RBI), spanking .317 with 10 HR, 21 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Swept by the Loggers in a four-game set. That’s about as bottom as waking up in a back alley with no pants on and broken bottles strewn all around you. (picks little shards out of his fur)

The Raccoons successfully achieved a losing season, and at their current pace I still have faith in a 100-losses campaign. I also see no reason why we can’t print our first first-to-last remembrance tokens. Every single reliever and most batters on this godforsaken roster will get one of those punched into their snout, and if they ask why, they’ll get another one punched up their ******* useless *********.

(deep sigh)

Last year the Coons played 37-20 (.649) in one-run games and ended up 26 games over .500; this year? 11-33 (.250) and right now 29 games under .500. One game is about two and a half inches, I’ve heard this week.

Titans, Crusaders next week. We have the next two Mondays off, and also the Thursday in the third week of the month, but we’ll finish the home season early, on the 18th. The last ten games will all be on the road.

Fun Fact: There were four cycles in 2050 and four more in 2052, but none in 2051.

Scorpions players partook in both quadruplets of cycles in those two years, with Mike Crenshaw doing the honors in 2050 and Nate Culp this season. The Miners were on the receiving end in both 2050 and 2052, but there’s no overlap there. Landon Guillory and Blake Mickle got them, respectively.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (54-83) vs. Titans (70-66) – September 3-5, 2052

Getting it over with required a total of six more games with the Titans, half of which would be conducted in Portland starting on Tuesday. The Titans had the fewest runs scored and fewest runs allowed in the CL, with a scant +4 run differential. The Coons had just been swept by the Loggers, and that was that. The Loggers! Boston led the season series, 8-4.

Projected matchups:
Jason Wheatley (5-6, 4.13 ERA) vs. Victor Scott (13-7, 2.32 ERA)
Phil Baker (2-1, 5.79 ERA) vs. Jamie Guidry (9-14, 4.21 ERA)
Rafael de la Cruz (8-11, 3.27 ERA) vs. Jordan Ramos (8-11, 4.35 ERA)

Should be two left-handers and then the right-handed Ramos, unless the Titans were willing to conducted shenanigans with expanded rosters. They were seven games out in the division and needed the wins, though.

Game 1
BOS: SS A. Montes de Oca – C R. Gonzalez – 1B L. Rodriguez – CF T. Lopez – 3B Bumpus – LF S. Lewis – 2B Whitlow – RF L. Estrada – P V. Scott
POR: SS Lavorano – LF Rivera – 2B Waters – CF Crum – RF Glodowski – 1B Maldonado – 3B Blackshire – C Philipps – P Wheatley

It wasn’t the best defensive alignment the Coons put out there for Wheats, to put it mildly. He helped himself by striking out six batters the first time through the order, which was impressive, as was the pace at which his pitch count went up. Winner of three straight, he then walked Angel Montes de Oca with two outs in the third inning, then was beaten with back-to-back RBI doubles by Ruben Gonzalez and Larry Rodriguez. Ballgame, presumably, especially with no Raccoon landing a base hit until Wheats singled in the bottom 3rd. Oscar Rivera would draw a walk after that, but both were left on base. Glodowski hit a single in the fourth, which was the only hit by a Coons position player through six innings at least. Wheats started the seventh on nine strikeouts (which gave him a flat hundo for the season) and 97 pitches. He got three more groundouts from the 6-7-8 batters, which would then be it for him. He, too, had only given up two hits – the pair of RBI doubles in the third – to get beaten. Maldo hit a single in the bottom 7th, but was left on base. Larson, Snyder, and Saldivar kept the Titans to their two hits in regulation, which still didn’t take Wheatley off the hook. Scott had gone seven, and Sam Heisler had pitched a scoreless eighth for Boston. The ninth went to Eddie Sotelo. The right-hander walked Suzuki in Glodowski’s spot with one out, but then turned a comebacker from Maldo for a double play. 2-0 Titans. Glodowski 1-2, BB; Wheatley 7.0 IP, 2 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 9 K, L (5-7) and 1-2;

24 more games, Slappy. 24 more games. How … how are we gonna get through this ************ …?

(is handed another bottle of One-Eyed Jack’s by Slappy)

Game 2
BOS: SS A. Montes de Oca – 3B Bumpus – LF E. Cobb – 1B L. Rodriguez – CF T. Lopez – 2B Thatcher – C I. Davison – RF Whitlow – P Guidry
POR: SS Lavorano – LF Rivera – 2B Waters – 1B Crum – RF Glodowski – 3B Sivertson – CF Thomason – C Philipps – P Baker

Two innings into the Wednesday game, Oscar Rivera had three RBI on the board, first with a homer in the first inning, then with a 2-out, 2-run double with the bags full against Guidry in the bottom 2nd. The latter were unearned because Lonzo had only reached on an error by Adam Bumpus, but it still made it a 4-0 game. Sivertson and Philipps had gone to the corners, upon which Phil Baker had singled home a 2-out run himself leading up to the situation. Waters ended the inning with a groundout to Angel Montes de Oca.

Baker did not allow a base hit through four innings and whiffed six, but also shot his pitch count into the stratosphere just like Wheatley the day before. Things then went pear-shaped in the fifth altogether. He walked Ian Davison, then beaned Eric Whitlow out of the game – Dave Gonzalez replaced him, but was forced out on a bad bunt by Guidry. Montes de Oca walked to fill the bases anyway, and then Bumpus bumped Boston into the H column with a bases-filled RBI single to right. There was still only one out, and Baker was at 97 pitches, many messy. For relief, Eric Cobb sent a bouncer to Lonzo for an inning-ending double play, but that was also in a full count. Baker completed five, but would also not be back for the sixth. Ken Crum homered in the bottom 5th to restore the 4-run lead, and in the bottom 6th the Coons loaded the bases on the first career hit of Dave Blackshire, pinch-hitting for Paul Crisler, and two errors by Montes de Oca. But Rivera popped out and Waters lined out, leaving all runners stranded.

The Titans responded with filling the bags with nobody out in the eighth against Mike Snyder, who walked two and gave up a single to John Thatcher. Justin Johns replaced him, but conceded a run on an Ian Davison single, 5-2. Dave Gonzalez then lined to the right side, but Ken Crum lunged and snatched the ball, then managed to fall into the bath of Davison on the way back to first base, tagging him for a 3-U double play. Leo Estrada then floated one out to Nick Thomason in center to end the inning. Hitchcock did the rest in the ninth. 5-2 Raccoons. Rivera 3-4, HR, 3 RBI; Philipps 2-4; Blackshire (PH) 1-2;

Game 3
BOS: SS A. Montes de Oca – C R. Gonzalez – LF E. Cobb – 1B L. Rodriguez – CF T. Lopez – 2B Thatcher – 3B Lettner – RF L. Estrada – P Jo. Ramos
POR: SS Lavorano – LF Perez – 2B Waters – 1B Crum – RF Rivera – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – C Raczka – P de la Cruz

For my weekly dose of frustration over Raffy’s tainted genius, he offered three leadoff walks in the first four innings, although the Titans removed Montes de Oca with a Ruben Gonzalez double play grounder right away, and none of the three (or anybody else) actually scored for Boston in the first four frames. The Coons scored; Lonzo was nicked to begin the bottom 3rd, stole second still steaming from his fuzzy ears, Perez walked, and they pulled off another double steal together. Waters’ groundout and Crum’s sac fly each got one of the runners home for a 2-0 lead.

Raffy had a clean fifth, then walked the bags full with Larry Rodriguez, Lopez, and Estrada in the sixth inning. He also struck out a pair and still didn’t allow a run, but that was SIX free passes in as many innings as he made an active push for 100 walks for the year. Montes de Oca singled against him to begin the seventh, but Gonzalez flew out to Suzuki. That was it though – 106 pitches was enough. Jim Larson got tame outs from the 3-4 batters, and the 2-0 score remained in one piece. The bottom 7th made it 3-0 with little more than a Suzuki double and a throwing error by Ruben Gonzalez. The pen seemed to hold for Portland – while Jason Lettner singled off Johns in the eighth, Lillis struck out Estrada to conclude that inning, setting up Hitchcock for the ninth, where Jesse Steel, Montes de Oca, and Ruben Gonzalez went down in order. 3-0 Critters. Lavorano 2-3; Raczka 1-2, BB;

Raccoons (56-84) @ Crusaders (66-74) – September 6-8, 2052

New York was sixth in runs scored and ninth in runs allowed. Their -43 run differential was even worse than the Coons’ inexplicably low -34 mark. The Crusaders were missing Jeff Johnson, Mario Ceballos, and Brandon Fellows on the DL, with the latter two gone probably not improving on their league-worst defense, and Johnson was always sorely missed in a bottom three rotation by ERA. The season series was still up for grabs, with the Crusaders up 8-7.

The Crusaders acquired 1B Shuta Yamamoto (.273, 8 HR, 32 RBI) from the Loggers in a waiver deal for a bag of loose screws on Friday morning.

Projected matchups:
Seisaku Taki (13-7, 2.76 ERA) vs. Jim White (7-4, 3.53 ERA)
Victor Salcido (1-8, 6.68 ERA) vs. Austin Guastella (5-11, 5.23 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (5-7, 4.05 ERA) vs. Edwin Sopena (10-11, 3.93 ERA)

Only right-handed opposition to be seen here.

Game 1
POR: SS Lavorano – LF Perez – 2B Waters – 1B Crum – RF Rivera – 3B Sivertson – CF Suzuki – C Brewer – P Taki
NYC: SS O. Sanchez – RF Magnussen – 3B Gates – LF D. Rivera – C Seidman – 1B Yamamoto – CF Haney – 2B Russ – P J. White

Crum singled home Perez for a first-inning run, but Taki walked a pair in the bottom 1st, so things could still swing either way. The Crusaders didn’t get a hit until the fifth inning, though, when Mark Haney slashed a single to right to break up the budding bid. By then, the Coons were up 2-0 on a Brewer triple and a wild pitch from the top of the fifth, and little else in between. Taki went seven innings with as many strikeouts in a low-offense game, while Jim White whiffed nine Coons in eight innings. When Ken Mills pinch-hit for White to begin the bottom 8th and that gave us four lefty hitters in the next five, Lillis got the ball after Taki had thrown 94 pitches. Lillis expertly loaded the bases with Mills reaching on an infield single, Omar Sanchez with a proper single, and Adam Magnussen walked. No outs, too. Crisler inherited the mess, popped out Prince Gates, and then walked in a run against Danny Rivera. Mike Seidman whiffed, but Crisler then nailed Yamamoto to tie the game, and gave up another single to Haney to fall behind. Andrew Russ (snarls!) flew out to Perez against Jim Larson, but the damage was done. 3-2 Crusaders. Perez 2-4, 2B; Brewer 2-3, BB, 3B; Taki 7.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 7 K;

(fumbles through his English-Japanese dictionary to say something to Taki) Taihen mōshiwakearimasen?* – Why do you look at me like that? – (fumbles through the dictionary more frantically) Ken ka nanika de hanbun ni suraisu dekitara kibun ga yoku narimasu ka?**

This L mathematically eliminated the Raccoons from postseason contention.

Game 2
POR: 2B Waters – 3B Crispin – CF Perez – 1B Crum – LF Rivera – SS Sivertson – C Raczka – RF Maldonado – P Salcido
NYC: SS O. Sanchez – RF Magnussen – 3B Gates – LF D. Rivera – C Seidman – 1B Yamamoto – CF Haney – 2B Russ – P Guastella

For the second time in recent memory, Matt Waters returned from the middle of the lineup to bat leadoff, and immediately spanked a jack to open the game, this time a 358-footer that barely got over the fence in right, and his 25th of the year. Singles by the 3-4-5 batters put another run together, but Sivertson and Raczka left two on base. Waters hit another homer, this one markedly longer, to center in the second inning, 3-0, which gets us to Salcido, who offered five walks in the first three innings, even though the Crusaders didn’t score. They had the bags full with Guastella (leadoff walk…..), Sanchez, and Magnussen in the bottom 3rd before Gates and Rivera whiffed and Seidman grounded out to Ed Crispin. For good measure, he also bunted into a double play ahead of Waters’ second homer. Waters meanwhile doubled in the fourth, but was left on base. Magnussen doubled off Salcido with one out in the bottom 5th, but tore out a leg and limped off with their trainer, to be replaced by Taylor Ferguson, a 27-year-old September callup, who was singled home by Prince Gates on an 0-2 pitch. Salcido retired Rivera with a K and Seidman with a fly to right, somehow making it through five with a 3-1 lead despite four hits and five walks (but also seven strikeouts) against him. Glodowski singled in his spot in the top 6th, and Waters added another single right after, now being a triple shy of the cycle. Crispin flew out to Haney to strand both of them.

Ryan Harmer went unharmed in the bottom 6th, but Reese conceded a run on a Gates double and Rivera single in the seventh, narrowing the score to 3-2. Crisler and Lonzo entered in a double switch for him and Sivertson, with a K to Seidman ending the inning. Top 8th, Maldo, Lonzo, and Waters filled the bases with straight singles, with Guastella nailing Crispin to force home a run before being yanked. Perez singled home a run, but Crum found the shortstop for an inning-ending double play. The Coons would not get Waters back to the plate for either a triple or a sixth base hit in general, unless Hitchcock could give up precisely three runs in the bottom 9th. Sanchez reached on an infield single to begin the inning for a good start, then reached second on an errant pickoff throw. Gates drew a 1-out walk, but Rivera struck out, and so did Seidman. 5-2 Furballs. Waters 5-5, 2 HR, 2B, 2 RBI; Perez 2-5, RBI; Crum 2-5, 2B; Rivera 2-4, BB, RBI; Glodowski (PH) 1-1; Lavorano 1-1;

16 base hits for the team in this game, and almost as many runners left on base…

Game 3
POR: SS Lavorano – LF Perez – 2B Waters – 1B Crum – RF Rivera – C Brewer – 3B Blackshire – CF Thomason – P Wheatley
NYC: SS O. Sanchez – CF Haney – 3B Gates – RF D. Rivera – C Seidman – 1B Yamamoto – LF Mills – 2B Russ – P Sopena

Rain was literally on the way in as the last game between these two teams for 2052 began. Oscar Rivera was on point with his timing, and with Perez and Crum aboard peppered a 3-run homer to left in the first inning. By the second inning, it was drizzling. By the third, it was pouring; Lonzo singled, stole his 56th base, and while Waters was batting, lightning flashed, and the game went to an hourlong rain delay. It was still soggy at the point where play resumed, with both starting pitchers returning; Wheats had thrown just 29 pitches in the first two innings, but then labored through 31 pitches in the bottom 3rd alone, with Sopena singling and Haney walking to create traffic and tension.

Wheats batted with Blackshire (double) and Thomason (intentional walk) on base in the fourth and sent a 2-out grounder up the middle. Sanchez was there, then flubbed the wet ball for an error that loaded the sacks for Lonzo, who hit a screamer to left – but also to Ken Mills to end the inning. Then Wheats imploded. Homers by Rivera and Yamamoto tied the ******* game, and Russ’ double (hiss!!) and a Sanchez single with two outs gave New York a 4-3 lead. He wasn’t back for the fifth inning, but broke some **** in the clubhouse before returning with a mad glare in his eyes for the sixth. The Coons still trailed 4-3 after six, with Harmer, Saldivar, and Larson tip-toeing around the Crusaders lineup and Andrew Russ being on base again, although this time he was caught stealing. HAH!!! *******!!

Prince Gates’ homer off Johns extended the New York lead to 5-3 in the bottom of the seventh, which didn’t help Wheatley’s mad glare. The Coons being sat down in order in the eighth and ninth innings didn’t either. 5-3 Crusaders.

In other news

September 3 – VAN SS/3B Dan Mullen (.325, 3 HR, 61 RBI) has extended his hitting streak to 25 games with a pair of RBI hits in a 4-3 loss to the Crusaders.
September 4 – 28-year-old SAC SP C.J. Harney (9-14, 4.28 ERA) 3-hits the Pacifics in a 5-0 shutout. Harney whiffs eight in the effort.
September 5 – New York outfielder Danny Rivera (.265, 19 HR, 88 RBI) reaches the 2,000 hits plateau with a 4-hit day in a 12-8 loss to the Canadiens. The milestone is his third hit of the day, the only non-single, a double off VAN SP Federico Purificao (8-10, 3.23 ERA) in the fifth inning. The 32-year-old Rivera, a CL North mainstay with the Indians and Crusaders, has batted .277/.343/.451 for his career, with 268 home runs and 1,121 RBI, plus 244 stolen bases. He has seven All Star Games, a Gold Glove, and four Platinum Sticks to his name, and led the CL in homers twice.
September 6 – The Wolves pick up 1B Toushi Imai (.259, 12 HR, 33 RBI) in a waiver deal from the Indians in exchange for LF/RF/1B Scott King (.241, 8 HR, 59 RBI).
September 8 – The hitting streak of Vancouver’s Dan Mullen (.327, 3 HR, 66 RBI) reaches 30 games on Sunday, although it takes luck and extra innings for a pair of singles in the 12th and 16th innings in the Canadiens’ 4-3 win over the Indians, with the implications in the standings even greater than Mullen’s game-winning RBI single in the 16th inning.

FL Player of the Week: TOP LF/CF Dave Lee (.283, 6 HR, 41 RBI), pounding .692 (9-13) with 3 HR, 11 RBI
CL Player of the Week: OCT 2B/SS Jonathan Ban (.328, 6 HR, 64 RBI), hitting .593 (16-27) with 1 HR, 9 RBI

Complaints and stuff

I wish myself to the offseason.

The Rebs, Condors, and Coons are in a three-horse race for the #1 pick right now, separated by only a game. The next-worst team, the Bayhawks, is 5 1/2 games clear of that ruckus. We’re also 9 1/2 behind the fifth-place Loggers by now, which pretty much assures us of posting our first-ever first-to-sixth, which makes me feel all fuzzy on the inside.

Oh wait, the word is “dizzy”.

Taki isn’t necessarily winning, but he’s in the top 3 in ERA in the CL, although he probably can’t win the title without Vic Scott (2.23) blowing up in the near future. That’s the guy that shut out the Coons for seven innings on Tuesday.

Since we’re on pitchers that began the season on the Coons’ roster, David Barel threw a 5-hit shutout against L.A. this week. He’s 5-1 with a 1.88 ERA as a Warrior. Ah… (sigh) … what could have been?

Final homestand coming up now, nine games against the Loggers, Knights, and Thunder starting on Tuesday. Let’s just say there’s still good seats available. Oh, before I forget! We also have bobbleheads on Saturday! – Which bobbleheads do we have available on Saturday, Maud? – David Barel bobbleheads? – (deep sigh)

First 25,000 on Saturday get a bobblehead for a Warriors pitcher…! It’s okay, we’ll just pretend he’s only on the DL or something.

Fun Fact: Only five different pitchers have walked 100 batters in a season as full-time (e.g. non-traded etc.) Raccoons players.

One of those did it three times, which would be Logan Evans, who offered 100+ walks, with a high of 108, in 1980, 1983, and 1986, but had other nice qualities to keep his roster spot intact for almost all of the 1980s.

Two Raccoons did it in the inaugural season (on a 4-man rotation): Juan Berrios walked 108 and Alex Miranda walked a stunning 136, by far the highest total on the list (108 is second, in fact).

The other two guilty parties you probably wouldn’t expect on the list, but both Ralph Ford and Jason Wheatley eked out just over 100 walks in their age 22 season, in 2000 and 2043, respectively. Let’s just say we forgave both of them eventually, and we’d also forgive Raffy if he reached 100 and then went on a career trajectory similar to either one of them.

Honorable mention: Brownie walked 99 in his first full season in 2002 as well. Nobody’s bitchin’ ‘bout that anymore either.

Fun Fact (Bonus Round): Shuta Yamamoto is batting .400 against Jason Wheatley in his career.

With three ******* homers.

(looks over to Wheatley, who’s sticking needles into a Yamamoto puppet’s eyes)

I’m sure we’ll all be fine.

+++

*I am very, very sorry.
**Would it make you feel better if you could slice some of them in half with a sword or something?
…according to the Google Translator