[Westheim]

Raccoons (22-29) @ Thunder (32-19) – May 28-30, 2001

More humiliation was coming the Coons’ way with the Thunder awaiting them. This was the top scoring team in the league, plating almost 5.2 runs per game, and they weren’t really giving them up on a rapid pace, either. The fact that they were down a starting pitcher (Pancho Trevino) and three pieces out of their lineup (Artie Barnes, Bob Grant, Yohan Bonneau) would help a decent team to take this series. But we’re still the Coons, and we’re still ****.

Projected matchups:
Felipe Garcia (0-0, 4.96 ERA) vs. Aaron Anderson (2-3, 4.03 ERA)
Ralph Ford (3-3, 3.22 ERA) vs. Vaughn Higgins (3-6, 2.84 ERA)
Cipriano Miranda (1-6, 5.54 ERA) vs. Luis Martinez (1-0, 3.46 ERA)

Game 1
POR: SS Guerin – 2B Palacios – CF Reece – 1B Martin – LF Cavazos – RF Brady – 3B Sharp – C Mata – P F. Garcia
OCT: 2B Kaustrop – SS Liu – 1B Higashi – RF D. Henry – LF Humphrey – C Vinson – CF A. Diéguez – 3B Scott – P A. Anderson

A 2-out single by Dan Henry plated Butch Kaustrop (who, as you may remember, was a Coon for a few days this winter) in the bottom 1st to get the winner team on track. While the Raccoons accumulated plenty of hits, they didn’t accumulate plenty of runs. With runners on the corners in the fourth, however, and one out, Daniel Sharp managed to shoot a double over Joey Humphrey. Brady was held at third base as the go-ahead run, and Mata was walked intentionally to load them up. Garcia flew out to center, medium depth, Brady was sent, and lasered out by Diéguez, and Diéguez would throw out Cavazos to end the sixth inning, too. Felipe Garcia went completely wild in the bottom 5th and something was wrong. The pitching coach and trainer checked him out, and brought him in once he walked Kaustrop. Martinez retired Kuang Liu to end the inning, but Garcia was ailing. The Raccoons struggled to plate any runs, and in the top 8th had the bags full with two out and Sharp batting. Anderson’s first pitch was wild however, scoring Neil Reece to unknot the 1-1 score. Sharp eventually walked, prompting the Thunder to bring a reliever, and Sancho Rivera came out, a power righthander. Miguel Ramirez hit for Julio Mata and sent a long fly ball into the gap in right center that nobody was going to get, and the bases emptied on this 3-run double! Scott Wade pitched the last two inning to nail this coffin shut. 5-1 Furballs. Guerin 3-5; Martin 2-4; Sharp 2-3, BB, 2B, RBI; Ramirez (PH) 1-1, 2B, 3 RBI; Martinez 1.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K; Wade 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 3 K;

Concie stole a base off Vinson in the ninth, his 13th on the year. I mean, it’s VINSON. He’s been wearing a “Free steals” cap all through the 90s, and we were there to see it! Concie leads the CL in bags, two over the distasteful Daniel Silva. In the FL, Dave Heffer has 15 for the .843 Warriors.

.843!!

Game 2
POR: LF Cavazos – 2B M. Ramirez – CF Reece – 1B Martin – RF Brady – 3B Sharp – SS Gabriel – C Mata – P Ford
OCT: SS Liu – CF Humphrey – 1B Higashi – 2B Kaustrop – C Briggs – LF Mallinder – RF A. Diéguez – 3B A. Ayala – P Higgins

Neither pitcher was giving up all that much in this game. It would be key to utilize this one or two chances at scoring you got, and the Coons failed. Vaughn Higgins wasn’t too inviting to be scored upon in the first place, and Miguel Ramirez hit into two killing double plays after Cavazos had gotten on base. The Thunder squeezed out a run on Ralph Ford in the fourth. Fearing it wouldn’t be enough for some reason or other, when Ford hit Diéguez to lead off the bottom 7th, they bunted the outfielder over twice to have Kuang Liu drive him home. But Liu walked, and Humphrey grounded out to third, and that plot failed. And then Ford auto-forfeited the game in the bottom 8th, walking both Higashi and Kaustrop. Nordahl was thrown in, hoping he could cull the Thunder in time, but a pinch-hit single by Dan Henry with two down plated Higashi. Ultimately it didn’t matter anyway: Higgins retired the side in order in the ninth and completed a 4-hit shutout. 2-0 Thunder. Cavazos 2-4, 2B; Ford 7.0 IP, 3 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 6 BB, 3 K, L (3-4);

Game 3
POR: SS Guerin – 2B Palacios – CF Reece – LF Cavazos – 1B Martin – 3B Sharp – C Thomas – LF Parker – P Miranda
OCT: 2B Kaustrop – SS Liu – 1B Higashi – RF D. Henry – LF Humphrey – C Vinson – CF Mallinder – 3B Scott – P L. Martinez

Guerin stole another bag off Vinson in the first, leading to the Coons’ only run in the opening frame, but Vinson took revenge with his fifth home run of the year, a solo shot in the bottom 2nd. The game didn’t get much further on the first try, as a light rain set in that quickly intensified and interrupted play for 16 minutes in the top 3rd. When play resumed, Miranda was no good, and was removed in the fifth once Dan Henry put the Raccoons behind, 3-2. Diaz starved a pair in scoring position. The Raccoons struggled to reach base however, and when Guerin reached on a walk in the seventh, he was thrown out stealing by Vinson(!!). We got another chance when Kuang Liu made an error to put Reece on base with no outs in the top 8th. Cavazos failed to get a bunt down against Sancho Rivera, and at 0-2 was *drilled* by Rivera. This would be the spot for a clutch hit, but in succession Martin, Sharp, and Brady all just plain failed. In turn, the Thunder loaded the bases on Martinez and had Liu come through with a 2-out, 2-run double, and Jimmy Morey did the honors. 5-3 Thunder. Guerin 3-4, BB; Mata 1-1, 2B, RBI;

Of course. Under no circumstances may the Raccoons (or me) be allowed to have a ****ing break.

Raccoons (23-31) @ Crusaders (14-38) – June 1-3, 2001

The Crusaders ranked in the upper half in runs allowed, with quite good a rotation. The bullpen was awful (but whose wasn’t?), but the real, stunning issue was their offense. They weren’t even scoring three runs a game, with 149 counters in 52 games. But worry you not, poor Crusaders! Help is on his way, Big Apple is about to be bitten into by a horde of insatiable Critters. Who give up tons of runs wherever they go.

Projected matchups:
Miguel Lopez (3-4, 5.83 ERA) vs. Anibal Sandoval (4-5, 2.64 ERA)
Carl Bean (4-3, 4.19 ERA) vs. Fernando Garza (3-7, 3.68 ERA)
TBD vs. Greg Connor (1-6, 5.46 ERA)

We still didn’t know whether Garcia could pitch, so we were tempted to hold back Scott Wade to make a spot start.

Also mind that the toothless Crusaders swept us the last time we battled.

Game 1
POR: SS Guerin – 2B Palacios – CF Reece – 1B Martin – LF Cavazos – RF Brady – 3B Sharp – C Mata – P M. Lopez
NYC: LF M. Ortíz – C Olson – CF Gonzales – RF A. Johnson – 3B Rush – 2B Rigg – 1B T. Mullins – SS Rice – P Sandoval

The Raccoons had two on in the first two innings, and Martin and Mata hit into killing double plays, while the first hit that Lopez gave up was a 2-run home run to Gary Rice. Sure, whatever works. Bob Rush hit a 3-run homer in the third inning, and what was the team that couldn’t score again? Both teams had five hits through three innings, and the Dumbcoons trailed 5-0. The only meaningful offense the Raccoons would generate was a 2-run homer by Brady later in the game. They hit into another double play, though. 5-3 Crusaders. Palacios 2-4; Brady 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Parker (PH) 1-1, 2B; Bruno 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K; Meeks 2.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

After the game, Chris Parker was handed a cake and a few flowers for ending his pinch-hitting futility at 0-29, needing merely two months to land a hit.

Felipe Garcia was diagnosed with a shoulder strain, which would indeed make him miss his next start, so we were looking at a spot start by Scott Wade on Sunday. With Meeks and Bruno tossing two apiece this Friday, that gives us four relievers on Saturday.

In St. Petersburg, outfielder Edgardo Torrez hit three home runs in a 10-8 win of the Alley Cats over Cumming. Maybe I need to reshuffle a thing to get that .372, 16 HR, 35 RBI bat into the lineup.

Game 2
POR: SS Guerin – 2B Palacios – CF Reece – 1B Martin – LF Cavazos – RF Brady – 3B Sharp – C Mata – P Bean
NYC: SS Rice – C Olson – RF A. Johnson – 1B M. Berry – CF Latham – 3B Rush – LF Sanders – 2B Rigg – P F. Garza

Mike Olson’s home run made it 1-0 Crusaders in the first, exceeded their average runs per game in the second, and the Raccoons joined their pitcher in being **** as always. No, Bean was more **** than usual. The Crusaders completely ****ed him up in the bottom 3rd, in which they got three infield singles to spit on the dismal sucker on the mound, and in total routed him for 10 hits and six runs in 2.2 innings. Sandoval pitched shutout ball, whiffing six in five innings, before Palacios’ leadoff jack in the sixth signaled that the Raccoons might be terrible, maybe even dead, but on occasion could be bothered to reach out from the grave. The same inning, Clyde Brady would go deep for three, but the damage had already been done long before. Daniel Miller pitched three innings, gave up two more runs, and this one went down as another L by a good margin. 8-4 Crusaders. Brady 2-3, BB, HR, 3 RBI; Martinez 1.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K;

Time to clean some house. We returned Manny Gabriel (batting 3-39!!!) to AAA, and this time, Julio Mata joined him. Mata was batting .168/.233/.204 and there was no reason to keep hoping that it would get better suddenly. We added perennial scrubs Gary Fifield and Brent McLaughlin.

Game 3
POR: SS Guerin – 2B Palacios – CF Reece – RF Brady – LF Cavazos – 3B Sharp – 1B M. Ramirez – C Thomas – P Wade
NYC: LF M. Ortíz – C Olson – RF A. Johnson – 1B M. Berry – CF Latham – 3B Rush – SS Rice – 2B Rigg – P Connor

Wade did his job well, although six of the seven leadoff men he faced, reached base safely. Ultimately, the Crusaders didn’t amount to much and only got six hits and two runs off him, and it could have been a wonderful day, if the godforsaken bunch of douches that had donned the brown shirts had done a ****ing lick with the bats other than seeing if they could stick them up each other’s nostrils. They out-hit the Crusaders 9-6, but whenever the time called for a measly singled, they failed, popped up, or into a double play, which they did in consecutive innings, and were shut out. 2-0 Crusaders. Brady 2-4; Sharp 2-4; Wade 7.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 3 K, L (2-2);

In other news

May 29 – SFW SP Lou Corbett (7-0, 3.47 ERA) could well miss the rest of this season with ulnar nerve irritation.
June 2 – NAS SP Stanton Taylor (5-2, 4.18 ERA) pitches a 2-hit shutout over the Cyclones in a 5-0 Blue Sox triumph.

Complaints and stuff

Jesus Palacios was the CL Hitter of the Month in May, batting .390 with 9 HR and 35 RBI, which admittedly is some crisp contribution. But May is gone, and June is no less cruel to this team, which, if deposited there, would disgrace a toxic waste dump.

Pointless wisdom of the week: strong pitching might beat strong hitting, but ****ed-up hitting beats ****ed-up pitching three days in a row.