[Westheim]

Originally Posted by Questdog

(Before reading the comments below, get out the "Let It Be"album by the Beatles and play the first song of the 2nd side as background setting).

Awesome start! If the old pitchers can make it through the season, we should have a first-rate rotation and if Casas can get back in shape we should have a first-rate bullpen and if Carmona can score 200 runs, we should have a first-rate offense and if everything is first-rate we might end up in first place!

I will just say nothing right here and let it hit you like a truck, if that's okay for you ...

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Raccoons (7-2) @ Canadiens (5-4) – April 18-20, 2014

The Raccoons faced the Elks in their first road series of the season. The Elks had hit well early on, ranking third in runs scored, with average pitching behind that. Their rotation and their runs allowed had them sixth in the CL, but the bullpen had been massacred early on, with a 7.66 ERA against those guys. The Raccoons have taken the season series from the Elks for five straight years.

Projected matchups:
Bill Conway (0-0, 0.00 ERA) vs. Rod Taylor (1-1, 5.11 ERA)
Nick Brown (2-0, 1.80 ERA) vs. William Raven (0-1, 2.77 ERA)
Daniel Dickerson (0-0, 6.17 ERA) vs. Dustin Burke (0-1, 14.54 ERA)

Originally I considered skipping Conway on the off day, but are we nuts? He has not allowed a run in his first nine innings, why would we skip such a guy? I can make Brownie’s arm fall off later in the season still. Unless the Raccoons skip Dustin Burke – their schedule would allow for that – we still won’t see our first left-handed opponent of the season.

But then something else happened. Vancouver got doused on Friday, with no baseball to be played. The opener was thus pushed back to Saturday, and we’d play two. THAT changed things a bit; I prefer to have my alpha guy go first in a double header, since he usually uses less bullpen and thus leaves more options for the second game. Thus, Nick Brown got the ball ahead of Conway on Saturday.

Game 1
POR: CF Carmona – LF Sambrano – 1B Quebell – RF Bednarski – C Alexander – 2B Bergquist – 3B Nunley – SS Canning – P Brown
VAN: CF Holland – 3B Suzuki – 1B Gilbert – C Rosa – LF Cameron – RF E. Garcia – SS Madison – 2B Mateo – P R. Taylor

Carmona dropped to 0-4 in stealing bases in 2014 right in the first inning, drawing a walk off Taylor and then getting thrown out by horrendous ex-Coon Freddy Rosa. While that was not a first (well, Rosa throwing out anybody sure was), there would be a first in the second inning, when all of Elkland got to “uuh” and “aah” over Matt Nunley’s first career homer, a line drive job to right center, and it counted for two with D-Alex on base. The 2-0 lead didn’t live long, however. Neither Raccoons middle infielder was applying for a Gold Glove in this game, with two to the naked eye playable grounders escaping Bergquist, and one getting past Canning, and the with two on in the bottom 3rd, Brown allowed a bomb to Mitsuhide Suzuki, that old hack, to flip the score to 3-2 Elks, and they got another run in the bottom 4th after two singles to start that inning.

Thankfully, Brownie was one of the better-hitting pitchers in the league. His turn came up with two on and two outs in the top of the sixth inning, and with him having another 25 pitches or so left in the tank, and especially with having to play a double header, he had to bat – and singled to right, scoring D-Alex from second base, 4-3. Carmona came up and hit one right in Brown’s grounder’s track for another RBI single, plating Bergquist to tie the score. Sandy fouled out to end the inning. The Raccoons stranded two more in the seventh when Taylor struck out Nunley to end his day with six walks and seven strikeouts, and a no-decision. Brown didn’t get through seven, leaving with two outs and a runner on second in the bottom 7th. Jeremiah Irvin was that runner, reaching on a 1-out pinch-hit single. Josh Gibson was asked to get Suzuki, who had burned Brown earlier in the game, and Suzuki now hit a grounder hard to left in a full count, but for once Canning didn’t fudge up and made a nimble and elegant play to get the third out at first base, and so none of the old foes Brown and Taylor got a decision.

But the nifty play didn’t mean that Canning didn’t continue to do stupid stuff. He hit a leadoff single off Chris Spindler in the eighth, then immediately fell asleep at the wheel and was picked off first. Jon Merritt, having entered in a double switch just earlier, singled to left, then kicked those old limbs into motion when Carmona found the gap in left center. Merritt had led the league in triples as recently as 2010, and while not a lot of that speed was left, it was enough to comfortably make for home on the double, 5-4 for the good team. Then Carmona was caught stealing third… just before Sambrano singled… The baserunning on this team was atrocious, to say the least. And the bullpen got in line seamlessly. Gibson put Don Cameron on in the bottom 8th, Sugano came in with two outs, walked Miguel Torres, conceded the game-tying single to Steve Madison, and then a huge 2-run double to Jaime Mateo, and the Raccoons were sunk. 7-5 Canadiens. Sambrano 2-5; Alexander 2-3, 2 BB; Merritt 1-1;

Game 2
POR: 2B Sambrano – 1B Merritt – LF Seeley – RF Bednarski – CF Cowan – 3B Nunley – C Hernandez – SS Canning – P Conway
VAN: CF Holland – RF E. Garcia – 1B Gilbert – 2B Madison – 3B Suzuki – C M. Torres – LF Luxton – SS Mateo – P Raven

By contrast, the nightcap went real wrong real quick. Conway struck out five in the first two innings, but the Elks also took a 1-0 lead in the bottom 2nd because they had somebody who could actually go from first base to second base without the hammer crushing his numb skull in. That guy was Suzuki, and he scored on Miguel Torres’ single to right after that. Conway allowed two more runs the following inning, and would not strike out another batter. The Elks had already upped the score to 4-0 in the fourth and in the fifth loaded the bases with nobody out after a Steve Madison single, Suzuki getting drilled, and Miguel Torres drawing the fourth walk off Conway. Pat Slayton and Jason Seeley would get out of the inning without any of the runners scored when Slayton whiffed Robbie Luxton (batting .067) and Jaime Mateo flew out to left, Madison tagged, but was narrowly tagged out by Hernandez at home after a terrific throw by Seeley.

Five innings in, the Coons were still hitless against Raven, but Canning offered a leadoff single in the top 6th. Merritt doubled him home with two outs, and Seeley worked a walk. The tying run came up, and what would we give for a slugger in this spot. What did the Coons bring up? Bednarski. Of course he struck out. Top 7th, two on with one out, thanks to an error by Raven on Matt Nunley’s bouncer back to the mound. Quebell hit for Canning, chipped an 0-2 pitch to right and it fell well in front of Enrique Garcia for a single, scoring Cowan from second base, 4-2. Carmona hit for Slayton, walked – thank heavens there was no room for him to take off to – and Sandy wrestled a full count walk from Raven to push home the Coons’ third run and knock Raven from the game. Pat Treglown would face Merritt, K, and then Seeley popped out to short. Top 9th, D-Alex hit for Hernandez, who had had a rotten game (0-3, 3 K, E, 0/3 CS), and walked against Pedro Alvarado, who had already saved the first game, and who’s first pitch to Quebell was wild, moving the tying run to second base. But Quebell would soon enough dutifully fly out shabbily to left, and Taylor and Sambrano had similarly useless plate appearances, stranding D-Alex at third base. 4-3 Canadiens. Quebell (PH) 1-2, RBI; Slayton 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

What’s that noise? Is that a dying bird in free fall?

Game 3
POR: CF Carmona – LF Sambrano – 1B Quebell – RF Bednarski – C Alexander – 3B Nunley – 2B Bergquist – SS P. Taylor – P Dickerson
VAN: CF Holland – RF E. Garcia – 1B Gilbert – LF Cameron – 2B Madison – 3B Suzuki – C M. Torres – SS Mateo – P D. Burke

The Elks had three hits and two more stolen bases (seven now in the series) in the first inning alone, but somehow were held to only one run. The disgusting Holland took off again in the second inning – turnover was fast with Dickerson getting shackled in these early innings – and finally a brown-clad catcher could throw somebody out, as Alexander nailed him to end the inning, but the Elks were already up 2-0 and the Raccoons again hitless. The Critters didn’t have to wait until the sixth for a hit this Sunday, but they damn sure didn’t score, and Sambrano was caught stealing in the sixth, getting the Coons to a 20% success rate in 2014. (Success against the Raccoons: 67%) Dickerson got stuck in the seventh and conceded another run, while the Raccoons didn’t even get a single paw onto Burke until the eighth inning when he allowed singles to Carmona, Quebell, and Bednarski to put a run across. D-Alex then flew out to center to end the inning, and the Raccoons were swept. 3-1 Canadiens. Taylor 2-4, 2 2B;

Raccoons (7-5) @ Crusaders (5-8) – April 22-24, 2014

Here came an opponent for the Crusaders to get back on track after a dismal start in which their rotation had been blown up for a 5+ ERA (10th in CL), ghastly defense (11th), crummy hitting (9th in runs scored), and they had already lost “Clockwork” Martin, who had gotten his nickname from his ability to always show up on the DL at the right / wrong time. The Raccoons had been clobbered by New York in 2013, going down 5-13.

Projected matchups:
Hector Santos (1-0, 1.42 ERA) vs. Jaylen Martin (1-2, 4.57 ERA)
Jonathan Toner (1-1, 0.73 ERA) vs. Paul Miller (0-2, 5.40 ERA)
Bill Conway (0-1, 2.77 ERA) vs. Colin Sabatino (0-2, 8.38 ERA)

Conway had thrown 108 pitches in his start, but we had gotten an off day on Monday, so he was now going on regular rest on Thursday. No lefties in this series, either. Maybe next week.

Game 1
POR: CF Carmona – LF Sambrano – 1B Quebell – RF Bednarski – C Alexander – 3B Nunley – 2B Bergquist – SS P. Taylor – P Santos
NYC: CF Brissett – C Durango – LF M. Ortíz – 1B Manfull – SS Caraballo – RF Bond – 2B J. Ortega – 3B Salinas – P J. Martin

The Coons took a quick 1-0 lead when Carmona singled, held still long enough for Quebell to double past the limited reach of Kevin Bond, and then ignited the afterburners and scored from first base. The lead lasted for about two minutes. The Crusaders had two right-handed batters in their lineup, including the pitcher, and Santos was set on fire right away. A hit here, a walk there, and then Francisco Caraballo – the second right-handed batter – crashed a pitiful 1-2 pitch for a 2-run homer to take a 3-1 lead. The Coons would hit a few singles here and there off Jaylen Martin, leaving runners on the corners when Palmer Taylor struck out to end the fourth, but they loaded the bases on two singles and a walk in the fifth, bringing up Bednarski (so, not a cleanup batter) with one out. Bednarski sent a slow roller to first, where B.J. Manfull took the sure out, allowing Carmona to score, but D-Alex honored his .167 batting average and rolled out to Jorge Ortega to strand two in scoring position. Bergquist hit a 1-out triple in the sixth inning. Taylor struck out once more, and Cowan hit for Santos as the Coons were desperate to get the tying run home, but Cowan got a 3-1 pitch and popped it up to forfeit another chance.

Failure continued unabated, with Thrasher issuing two walks to two of the plentiful left-handed batters in the lineup in the bottom 6th, and only made it out unharmed because Bergquist turned two for him. Slayton would score an insurance run for the Crusaders with a wild pitch in the eighth, which came back to hurt when Jason Seeley’s pinch-hit homer in the top 9th off Micah Steele then did NOT tie the game, but only got the Raccoons to 4-3. Merritt then hit a 1-out single, was forced by Carmona’s grounder, and Carmona was caught stealing to end the game. 4-3 Crusaders. Quebell 2-4, 2B, RBI; Bergquist 2-4, 3B; Seeley (PH) 1-1, HR, RBI; Merritt (PH) 1-1;

Few notes. The Raccoons have lost five straight. They lost this one while out-hitting the Crusaders … 11-4. That’s right. 11-4 in hits. Lost.

Also, Carmona is oh-for-six in stolen bases and might soon be sold to travelling slave traders. His career success rate is now under 60%.

And despite batting leadoff, Carmona leads the team in RBI, which says something about the ****ing **** assumed middle of the order on this roster.

Game 2
POR: CF Carmona – LF Sambrano – 1B Quebell – RF Bednarski – 2B Bergquist – 3B Merritt – C Alexander – SS Canning – P Toner
NYC: CF Brissett – C Durango – LF M. Ortíz – 1B Manfull – SS Caraballo – 2B J. Ramirez – RF Bond – 3B J. Ortega – P P. Miller

Carmona now also failed on driving in runs, which was not in his job description, but in times of trouble I have to console myself at making a 22-year old youngster cry into his pillow at night, so he would now get yelled at on a daily basis. Here he failed in the top of the third inning, with one out and runners on second and third, hitting a ****ty pop to shallow center that was no challenge for Amari Brissett, and with D-Alex on third was a no-go to tag and make for home. Paul Miller then threw a wild pitch, plating the first run of the game, and Sandy singled home Canning, 2-0, before Quebell struck out. Toner, facing a similar lineup as Santos had, did not allow a hit the first time through, but allowed four in his second tour, including an RBI double by Eduardo Durango and then a leadoff triple by Jorge Ortega in the fifth that quickly led to the tying run to come home, and the Crusaders took the lead in the next inning after Martin Ortíz’ leadoff double. That came after Sambrano and Quebell were caught up in yet another strike-em-out-throw-em-out in the top 6th. The Raccoons hit into double plays in the seventh and eighth innings, but Merritt hit a leadoff single in the top 9th off Steele to become the tying run once more, although Joe Cowan ran for him. Alexander struck out. Nunley grounded out. Taylor struck out. 3-2 Crusaders. Sambrano 2-4, RBI; Bednarski 2-4;

And that’s six, and already at .500. I mean, I knew the 7-1 was fake, but c’mon, guys, show some pulse!

Game 3
POR: CF Carmona – SS Sambrano – 1B Quebell – RF Bednarski – 2B Bergquist – LF Seeley – 3B Nunley – C Alexander – P Conway
NYC: CF Brissett – C Durango – LF M. Ortíz – 1B Manfull – SS Caraballo – 2B J. Ramirez – RF Bond – 3B J. Ortega – P Wanless

The Crusaders sent Kevin Wanless (1-1, 9.35 ERA) assuming that nothing could potentially go wrong, but he had to be doing something wrong, because Quebell launched a 2-run homer in the first inning. The Coons would add a third run in the fourth inning that was more general wildness by Wanless than hitting heroics on their part, but at least Conway seemed to cope really well with all the poisonous left-handed bats, allowing only three hits and no runs his first two runs through the order. Then Brissett hit a 2-out single in the fifth. Oh well, nothing major. Durango grounded to first, and Quebell fumbled it. Oh great, once – ONCE – you meet a ball, now you instantly have to give it back!? True to his reputation, Martin Ortíz hit a booming 2-run double into the corner in rightfield, getting the Crusader back to 3-2.

The Coons had runners on the corners with no outs in the top 6th and didn’t score: Seeley grounded out, Nunley grounded out, D-Alex wasn’t pitched to, and Conway went down glaring. On the mound he went 6 2/3 innings while maintaining the slim lead, but when the top of the order and four left-handed bats came back up, Ron Thrasher got the ball. Thrasher even got a turn at bat in the top 8th. Robbie Wills walked Bednarski and Nunley, after which D-Alex, walked intentionally twice in the game, came up and raked hard, and accidentally met a pitch, and drilled it half a mile to right, blooming the score to 6-2. We desired Thrasher’s arm for the bottom of the inning, and of course he made a real mess and put two men on before Jesus Ramirez popped out to short to end the inning. This was not a save situation anymore, but Angel Casas hadn’t pitched in a week and was assigned the bottom of the order in the bottom of the ninth inning. Kevin Bond popped out, Jorge Ortega whiffed, Drew Lowe lined out to Sandy. 6-2 Coons. Carmona 2-5; Quebell 2-5, HR, 2B, 2 RBI; Bednarski 2-3, BB, 2B; Bergquist 2-5; Alexander 1-2, 2 BB, HR, 3 RBI; Conway 6.2 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 0 ER, 0 BB, 5 K, W (1-1);

In other news

April 19 – OCT SP Curtis Tobitt (3-0, 0.72 ERA) completely mauls the Condors, striking out 16 of the hapless rufflebirds over 8.2 innings. The Thunder claim victory, 6-2. The 16 K tie the CL record already jointly held by Tobitt and then-Condor Kelvin Yates.
April 19 – Three Condors – Craig Dasher (.333, 0 HR, 5 RBI), Ron Eroh (.184, 0 HR, 5 RBI), and Ezra Branch (.375, 1 HR, 12 RBI) – all have 4-hit games in a 14-6 thrashing of the Thunder, in which the Condors pour out 21 hits total.
April 19 – NAS SP Jason McDonald (1-0, 1.84 ERA) is out for the season with a torn rotator cuff.
April 20 – The Titans score two runs in the top of the tenth inning in Indianapolis, only for Tommy Wooldridge (0-3, 6.75 ERA, 3 SV) to blow the game in the bottom 10th with three runs for the Indians, who win 9-8.
April 21 – Cycle! BOS OF John Alexander (.353, 2 HR, 13 RBI) collects four hits, one of each kind, in the Titans’ 7-6 loss to the Loggers, driving in four runs, including a 2-run triple in the ninth inning, in which he is left on third base as the tying run. The 53rd cycle in ABL history is the third for the Titans (Christian Greenman, 2004; Jesus Flores, 2012) and the fourth out of the last seven in a losing effort. It’s also the second consecutive time that the team that had the last cycle is the one that is cycled against in the next occurrence of the feat.
April 23 – ATL LF Marty Reyes (.304, 1 HR, 3 RBI) has his season come to a sticky end after breaking his knee cap.
April 24 – In a slugfest, the Condors rout the Aces, 11-5, on the strength of five home runs. Will Newman (.233, 2 HR, 8 RBI) homers twice and drives in three. The Aces had only two home runs.

Complaints and stuff

The Raccoons are last in stealing bases, but they’re not only last, they’re ****ing 2-for-14. That was the ONLY thing this team was supposed to be good at. The ONLY thing.

As things look right now, this will be a long year, with lots of losing, lots of crying, and I might shoot one or two of them in the butt with the blunderbuss. Carmona is right up the list.