[Westheim]

Raccoons (80-56) vs. Titans (62-76) – September 3-5, 2018

The wretched Titans were not particular good at much of anything. They were second-to-last in runs scored and fourth-to-last in runs allowed. They did have a good bullpen, but it was not able to contain all the damage the rotation did to the team’s efforts. The Raccoons held an 8-4 advantage in the season series.

Projected matchups:
Ricky Mendoza (13-8, 4.62 ERA) vs. Dave Priest (5-8, 5.05 ERA)
Hector Santos (11-8, 2.72 ERA) vs. Jose Fuentes (6-14, 5.17 ERA)
Damani Knight (5-9, 4.96 ERA) vs. Zach Boyer (9-13, 3.65 ERA)

We would miss both Jonny Toner’s hardest challenger in the win column, as crazy as it sounded, Chris Klein (17-5, 2.62 ERA) as well as the Titans’ only southpaw in Rick Ling (9-13, 3.75 ERA) – with an asterisk. Zach Boyer, Wednesday’s starter, was laboring on a sore hamstring and it might be possible that he would not be able to take his start. Klein would be next in their rotation.

The Coons got Cookie off the DL to start the series, so maybe everything would be less horrendous now… Cookie and Alex Mata are almost even in the stolen base category, Cookie trailing Mata by one base for the CL lead.

Game 1
BOS: CF Mata – 3B T. Thomas – 1B S. Butler – RF Almanza – C T. Robinson – SS M. Rivera – LF J. Avila – 2B F. Reyes – P Priest
POR: RF Carmona – SS Walter – 3B Nunley – 1B H. Mendoza – C Denny – LF DeWeese – 2B Dahlke – CF Bareford – P R. Mendoza

Ricky Mendoza walked a pair and allowed a quick run in the top first on Tom Thomas’ double, but the Coons made up that early setback in the bottom 2nd that opened with a single by Hugo Mendoza, a Denny double, and then admittedly not a whole lot more. Dahlke’s sac fly was all the Coons got from the bottom of the order that didn’t taste like toxic waste dump, a vile odor that returned to our noses in the top 3rd. Alex Mata hit a leadoff double, scored when Denny threw away the ball on his stolen base attempt, and before long Steve Butler yanked a home run to right center. To put it simply, Ricky Mendoza sucked, as did the other Mendoza, nothing that was not expected, though. The pitcher Mendoza loaded the bases in the fourth when he drilled Alex Mata, and only got out of the inning when Walter turned a dizzying double play on Tom Thomas’ hard grounder, and was yanked in the fifth after Chris Almanza and Tim Robinson hit back-to-back 1-out singles, both to right and both hard. Jason Kaiser came in and surrendered one run on Mike Rivera’s sac fly, hanging four runs total on Mendoza. The other Mendoza would soon make himself even more unpopular. The Raccoons had scored an unearned run in the bottom of the third, which involved Cookie singling and stealing, which was virtually everything that worked for this offense. In the bottom 5th, down 4-2, Walter and Nunley hit back-to-back singled with one down, going to first and second. Hugo Mendoza came up, and would have ended the inning with a double play, if Frank Reyes hadn’t been slow turning it at second base. Runners remained on the corners with only Nunley forced out, and Mike Denny’s single to left plated a run after all, 4-3. DeWeese walked in a full count, loading them up for Tom Dahlke, who had a double on the day, but flew out softly to Almanza in right.

Bottom 6th, a throwing error by Tom Thomas put the offensively invisible Andy Bareford on second base with nobody out. This was the tying run; Danny Ochoa batted for Seung-mo Chun to counter Priest and hit a liner to left for a single, but Bareford only made it to third base, having to wait for the ball to get past the lunging Rivera. When Cookie hit a fly to fairly deep left, Jose Avila had no issues to catch it, but had no chance to get Bareford, whose run tied the game at four and was the second unearned counter for the Critters in the game. Walter then hit a single, sending Ochoa to third, and Nunley knew he had to get it done with Mr. Black Hole behind him. He cracked a liner to left, and that one was also in, plating the go-ahead run, 5-4! Mendoza hit – OBVIOUSLY – into a double play to end the inning; Reyes turned it this time. Schroeder in the seventh and Thrasher in the eighth both issued a walk, but the former also whiffed three and the latter added two more strikeouts to the Titans’ ledger, and the brittle lead was maintained. The Coons also played their cards not too well in those innings, getting two singles in each, and stranding all four runners. Alex Ramirez thus had no cushion and faced the top of the order. He struck out Jose Duran, whom the Titans had initially sent to face Thrasher, but who now had to look at Ramirez and struck out, got a grounder from Thomas and then a soft fly to center from Steve Butler to close the deal. 5-4 Raccoons. Carmona 2-4, RBI; Walter 3-5; Nunley 2-4, BB, 2 RBI; H. Mendoza 2-5; Denny 2-4, 2B, RBI; Ochoa (PH) 1-1;

Game 2
BOS: CF Mata – 3B T. Thomas – 1B S. Butler – RF Almanza – C T. Robinson – SS M. Rivera – LF C. Newman – 2B Lawson – P J. Fuentes
POR: RF Carmona – SS Walter – 3B Nunley – 1B H. Mendoza – C Margolis – LF DeWeese – CF Bareford – 2B Prince – P Santos

The game started pretty much the same as Monday’s. Mata walked, stole second this time – while Margolis had him beat, Prince dropped the ball, the fool! – and then scored on Thomas’ base hit. Butler grounded to Prince, who nipped Thomas on second base but Walter’s return throw to first was too late. No worries, thought Santos, and picked off Butler. Almanza filled first base right away again with a single to left, then took off for second, Margolis’ throw was in time again, and this time ****ing Tim Prince held on to the ****ing ball, and the inning was over. Prince made a throwing error to start the top 2nd, placing Tim Robinson on second base, and eventually leading to Santos allowing two unearned runs on David Lawson’s 2-out double and Jose Fuentes’ 2-out single, although for the latter he had nobody to blame but himself. Santos would allow one more run in six muddled innings, a solo shot to center by Tom Thomas, which was remarkable because even with that shot Thomas still had a dinger per 125 at-bats on the season, and he hit it to the deepest part of the ballpark. Only against Santos…

By the time Santos was done, the Raccoons had but one hit, a single by Cookie in the third, that was all off a pitcher with a 5+ ERA. They didn’t get another hit until DeWeese hit a double to right center with two down in the seventh. Bareford then reached on Thomas’ error as the series continued to be everything but a defensive showcase. With a vague comeback chance in a 4-0 game, Eddie Jackson hit for the disgusting Prince and knocked a ball all the way to the base of the leftfield wall for a 2-run double. Fuentes was yanked in the instant, and Jose Diaz appeared, a left-hander with decent stats. Mike Denny batted for Nick Lester, who had spun a 1-2-3 seventh against the top of the order. He grounded out to third, ending the inning. While Nunley came close to a solo home run in the bottom 8th, but the ball dropped into Almanza’s glove on the track, Chet Cummings got four outs before putting two on in the top of the ninth. Chris Mathis cleaned up, but the Raccoons were still down by two and hadn’t done anything against Harry Merwin all season: four hits in five innings, and never made up a deficit against him. Hugo Mendoza led off, unleashed a harmless grounder to third, and was gone in a blink. Margolis singled to left, which made DeWeese actually dangerous, but too bad he knew it, too, and struck out. Mathews batted for Bareford and grounded a 3-2 pitch to David Lawson for an easy final out. 4-2 Titans. Jackson (PH) 1-1, 2B, 2 RBI;

Game 3
BOS: CF Mata – 3B T. Thomas – 1B S. Butler – RF Almanza – C T. Robinson – LF J. Roberts – SS M. Rivera – 2B F. Reyes – P Boyer
POR: CF Carmona – SS Walter – 3B Nunley – 1B H. Mendoza – RF Jackson – C Denny – LF DeWeese – 2B Hudman – P Knight

Boyer went, but was the first Titans pitcher not to be greeted with a first-inning lead in the series. While the Raccoons continued to fail completely in keeping the basestealing terror that was Alex Mata off the dishes, and Damani Knight allowed a leadoff single to him, Nunley made an incredible play on a Thomas grounder to start a 5-4-3 double play at the Titans’ expense. Butler grounded out to end the top of the first, and instead the Coons took the early lead, using Plan A again: Cookie singles, Cookie steals, Cookie scores through some fortunate events, in this case a Walter single and Nunley sac fly, after which Walter was forced on another bull**** grounder to the pitcher by Dumbo Mendoza. Damani continued to face the minimum through four, throwing less than NINE pitches per inning, generating lots of well-placed grounders, at least until the Titans put their first two men on in the fifth inning. Almanza walked, Tim Robinson hit a blooper to shallow center, and suddenly they were on the corners in a 1-0 game. Jimmy Roberts struck out, setting up a double play exit, but only if Mike Rivera wouldn’t hit one to the outfield. He did hit one to the outfield, a floater up the leftfield line, but quite high and that allowed DeWeese to hustle over and catch it. Almanza was sent anyway and was hammered out at home by a ravenous throw by DeWeese, keeping the score at 1-0.

The score grew in the bottom 5th. Hudman hit a double and was on third base after Frank Reyes’ error on Knight’s grounder. Cookie flew out to shallow right for the second out, but Walter and Nunley came up with back-to-back RBI singles, both just slightly past an infielder. The Titans walked Mendoza on four pitches, which was good considering his inability to drive in anything, including a car into a garage. Jackson batted with the plates full, hit a 2-0 to deep right, but Almanza got there, keeping it at 3-0. Knight immediately tried to **** up, issued another leadoff walk to Reyes in the sixth, then threw away Boyer’s bunt in the worst way to put runners in scoring position with nobody out. Alex Mata reached AGAIN on an infield single when Hudman couldn’t decide where to throw the ball, Mata stole another base off Denny, and the Titans tied the game on Butler’s 2-run single.

Knight somehow made it through the seventh despite offering another leadoff walk to Roberts. The Coons hit Chris Thomson for him to start the bottom 7th, Thomson singled hard to center, and with one out Walter came up with a double to right, putting the go-ahead run on third base with one out, and really all the hopes were on Nunley here, because there was NO HOPE LEFT with Doorknob Mendoza. Nunley lined out to new second baseman Joe Stephenson, which was when the inning really ended, although it officially only ended when Mendoza grounded out to third base. The baseball gods had a good laugh about this, good enough for some tears of joy to flow and cause a short rain delay in the top of the eighth inning. Lester in the eighth and Mathis in the ninth held the Titans away, but the Coons only got a Thomson single in the bottom 9th after he had replaced the completely maddening Headless Tambourine Mendoza at first base. Nothing came out of that; Walter batted with two outs and was 4-for-4 in the game, but grounded out to Stephenson. Ramirez did a quick 1-2-3 in the tenth, but Thrasher had a laborious 11th inning, throwing 21 pitches and walking a pair, but he didn’t allow the Titans across home plate. Jason Kaiser in the 12th, however, did. 28-year old Miles Greene hit a leadoff single, pinch-hitting in his first plate appearance of the year, and with two outs, another seasoned bit piece, Kelvin Gaines, hit a bomb to left to break the tie and put the Titans over the top. 5-3 Titans. Walter 4-6, 2B, RBI; Thomson (PH) 2-3;

Oh my god, what a ****ing game. I barely managed to not vomit. Even if they make it to the CLCS without dissolving in the last three-and-a-half weeks, they won’t win anything once there.

Back to the drawing board in the winter, I guess.

Raccoons (81-58) @ Loggers (69-70) – September 7-9, 2018

The Loggers were in fifth place, but continued to be at .500 for the season, which was not shabby for a team that didn’t have a single dime to invest in actual help anywhere. They were sixth in runs scored, fifth in runs allowed, and had a +13 run differential. They also still had a chance to topple the Raccoons in the season series if they could sweep them (and it was anything but impossible), so far trailing 7-8 to Portland over the year.

Projected matchups:
Jonathan Toner (20-5, 2.46 ERA) vs. Brian Cope (7-6, 4.37 ERA)
Bobby Guerrero (13-12, 3.58 ERA) vs. G.G. Williams (10-8, 3.76 ERA)
Ricky Mendoza (13-8, 4.72 ERA) vs. Ian Prevost (6-12, 3.04 ERA)

We’d get a left-hander on Saturday here. The Loggers had a substantial number of players on the DL at this point, including their best pitcher in Michael Foreman (10-6, 2.17 ERA) as well as a set of outfielders including Brad Gore and Andrew Cooper as well as struggling slugger Jimmy Raupp.

The Raccoons had another – their last – card to play to finally get the offense moving again as Alex Duarte came off the DL in time for this series. Having said that, DeWeese and Toenail Mendoza are a combined 112 at-bats without a home run.

Game 1
POR: RF Carmona – SS Walter – 3B Nunley – 1B H. Mendoza – CF Duarte – LF DeWeese – C Denny – 2B Mathews – P Toner
MIL: RF Hodgers – SS Burns – LF LeMoine – 3B Velez – CF Coleman – 1B P. Turner – C O. Castillo – 2B Cazares – P Cope

With the Raccoons’ offense still in transit and doing little to nothing in the early innings, Jonny Toner was perfect through the first ten batters, striking out half of them, before the Loggers quickly pierced him for a run in the fourth on Kyle Burns’ single and Chris LeMoine’s double. Jonny walked a pair in the bottom 5th before a terrible bunt by Brian Cope knocked out the lead runner Orlando Castillo on third base and helped him escape the homemade mess. Cookie hit a double to open the sixth, which put the Raccoons on second base for the second time in the game, and the first time with less than two outs. WITH two outs, Cookie was still at second, and then Slipknot Mendoza drew a walk, his 78th on the season and leaving him with only three less walks than RBI’s. Duarte grounded out to Carlos Cazares, and that was that. Striking out the side in the bottom 7th put Toner at 11 K for the game, and at just over 80 pitches, and with him leading off the eighth inning… oh **** it, they’re gonna lose anyway. He grounded out to Cazares, after which Cookie drew a walk in a full count. He took off on the first pitch to Walter and claimed second base, and maybe, just maybe, we could get something better than a groundout to first from Walter. Nope. That’s what happened. Nunley batted with Cookie on third, slapped a grounder to the left side, and it barely zipped past Alberto Velez’ glove into leftfield. Cookie scored, tied ballgame. Cope got binned right away, with Luis Calderon appearing in the game, a right-hander with almost even K/BB values, which prompted the coward Mendoza to draw another walk in his general unhelpfulness. Duarte also walked, loading the bases, and bringing up DeWeese, who was rocking three strikeouts in three at-bats in the game, and filled his sombrero to the brim against Calderon. The bottom 8th was opened by Isiah Reed with a soft single to right. Elijah Scott laid down a terrible bunt, almost a soft line to short, but the leaping Toner missed it, and Walter was so confused that he committed a colossal throwing error that put runners on second and third with nobody out. Not even Toner was going to get out of that one; Victor Hodgers plated the go-ahead run with a sac fly before a strikeout and a groundout ended the inning. The Loggers brought Julio San Pedro into the top of the ninth with a 2-1 lead, which deserved a blown save with his 4.46 ERA and 41 walks in 70.2 innings, but the Coons would field the bottom of the order, and were generally just legally disabled and dependent. Jackson drew a walk batting for Denny to lead off, but after that it was a soft fly to center by Mathews, Thomson hitting into a fielder’s choice, and Cookie popping out in foul ground. 2-1 Loggers. Toner 8.0 IP, 3 H, 2 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 12 K, L (20-6);

**** this team…

Game 2
POR: LF Carmona – 3B Nunley – RF Jackson – 1B H. Mendoza – SS Mathews – C Margolis – CF Bareford – 2B Prince – P Guerrero
MIL: RF Hodgers – SS Burns – LF LeMoine – CF Coleman – C O. Castillo – 3B I. Reed – 1B E. Scott – 2B Krueger – P G.G. Williams

Any and all good things for this team started with Cookie singles these days. He hit one to start this game, Nunley homered, and it was 2-0 Coons in the first. They continued to bat with Jackson walking, Margolis and Bareford knocking 2-out singles to plate him, Prince walked, and it took a major effort by Chris LeMoine in left to catch up with a broken-bat blooper that Guerrero hit on a 2-2 pitch and that almost fell in for further damage. It remained 3-0 after the top of the first, but it didn’t remain 3-0 forever. Cookie struck out to open the second, which automatically rendered the Coons void for the next hour. Guerrero overcame two hits in the bottom 2nd, but didn’t overcome a bunt single that Victor Hodgers ran out at the start of the bottom of the third. Burns grounded out, but LeMoine clocked a pitch to deep right and outta here, cutting the gap to 3-2, and giving him 29 homers and 94 RBI on the year. No particular reason for me to mention this, but by the fifth inning Ducksnort Mendoza had three pathetic outs on his ledger, and had stranded two, and LeMoine had three RBI in his account, driving home Hodgers with an RBI single to tie the score.

Guerrero staved off taking the loss after a leadoff double by Isiah Reed in the bottom 6th, striking out the 7-8-9 batters in order to stay in the 3-3 tie before being hit for in the next inning. Jason Kaiser was less lucky in the bottom 7th, allowing a single to Burns and a pinch-hit RBI double to David Betancourt to fall behind the Loggers, 4-3, although he would be spared the loss. The Coons, after being absent fully and wholly for two hours, got Jackson on base with a leadoff single in the top 8th. Moosehead Mendoza got him forced with a grounder that Castillo played in front of the plate, but Jackson raised his leg in an attempt to take Burns’ face off to break up the double play. It was worth it; Mathews got on, and Margolis almost would have beaten Hodgers’ range with his fly to right center. Two down, Luis Calderon replaced Williams, with Shane Walter swiftly hitting for Bareford and knocking a liner to left for a game-tying RBI single. DeWeese batted for Tim Prince, whose existence was pointless, and roped a shot to right that went actually past Hodgers and into the corner. Mathews scored, Walter scored, DeWeese was caught between second and third, but the Coons were back in front! Kaiser got two more outs with his spot not coming up in the top of the eighth, Davis got one, and Ramirez when entering in the ninth allowed a pinch-hit single to leadoff batter Juan Ortíz, but then came back with two strikeouts in his three outs collected from the top of the order, ending the Coons’ 3-game spill against the bottom of the division. 6-4 Critters. Carmona 2-5; Walter (PH) 1-1, RBI; DeWeese (PH) 1-1, 2B, 2 RBI;

Kaiser ended up with the W after the second 3-spot of the game, and Ramirez saved his 35th game of the year for a crisp 77% success rate…

No Makeshift Mendoza in the rubber game. Trying my luck with Petracek. He has more RBI since August 19 than Mendoza. YES THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

Game 3
POR: RF Carmona – CF Duarte – SS Walter – 3B Nunley – LF DeWeese – 2B Dahlke – 1B Petracek – C Prieto – P R. Mendoza
MIL: RF Hodgers – SS Burns – LF LeMoine – 3B Velez – CF Coleman – C O. Castillo – 1B Betancourt – 2B Krueger – P Prevost

The Raccoons put up another 3-spot in the first inning, and this one actually without involvement by Cookie, who struck out. The Loggers got two outs before Prevost walked both Walter and Nunley, then allowed an RBI double to DeWeese (again past Hodgers and into the rightfield corner) and a 2-run single to center to Tom Dahlke. Not that it was a comfortable 3-0 lead, because the Loggers were shoving runners into scoring position in every inning against Mendoza, who struck out Prevost with runners on the corners in the bottom 2nd to get out of the first real jam, but then allowed a leadoff jack to Hodgers in the third. LeMoine doubled to right, but was left on base when Velez K’ed and Ian Coleman grounded out. The Loggers got Gene Krueger into second base with a 2-out double in the fourth, but that only brought up Prevost again, and this time he grounded out to short. Hodgers led off another inning with an extra-base hit, a fifth-inning double, but Kyle Burns grounded out to Nunley. If Mendoza could get around LeMoi– and Hodgers takes off for third, and Denny throws him out! LeMoine popped out to end the inning, and no, we have not skipped past any Raccoons offense; they had no hits after the first inning until – … uhm…

But first more of the Loggers. Ian Coleman hit a 1-out single in the sixth, stole second against the unassuming debutee Prieto, and scored on Betancourt’s groundout after Castillo had singled him to third base. That reduced the Coons’ lead to a single run after six innings, once Krueger struck out. Thrasher entered for the ninth inning after Mendoza had been ineffectively pinch-hit for by Danny Ochoa in the top of that inning. The only man to reach against Thrasher did so on Petracek’s error, and in the top of the eighth the Raccoons got an actual ****ing hit, Shane Walter singling to right with nobody out off Carlos Michel, who had also walked Duarte to start the inning, and the centerfielder was now on second base for Matt Nunley, who hit into a double play on a 3-1 pitch. Jackson batted for DeWeese against the left-handed pitcher and struck out. Thrasher got a total of five outs before arriving at the right-handers in the bottom of the order. Mathis took over, conceded a double to Orlando Castillo, but wiggled out with a groundball he played himself to first base, still nursing that 3-run first from inning to inning. Petracek reached on an infield single in the top 9th, stole second base, then was stranded when Thomson fouled out and Margolis rolled out to Krueger. Ramirez was in the bottom 9th with no cushion, and the top of the order would come up within the inning. Right-handed batter Adam Redmond pinch-hit in the #8 hole and ripped a single to right. Brian Almond, left-handed, batted next and grounded out. Hodgers was probably the bigger threat than Burns here, not only because he countered Ramirez, but with one out and LeMoine looming large in the #3 hole, Ramirez had to go after him with the tying run in scoring position. Hodgers fouled out, which made Burns the final out of the game – or maybe not. He took the 1-2 pitch high and deep to center, Duarte couldn’t catch up with it, and the Loggers tied the game on the 2-run double. LeMoine was walked intentionally before Velez flew out to center. Ramirez would be removed from the game, and I rolled up a magazine and tried to get into the dugout to beat him to death with it.

Extra innings! Cookie led off the tenth with a single, stole second, then was left to rot at third base. The game ended quickly in the bottom of the inning. Nick Lester drilled PH Pat Turner, then allowed a homer on 1-0 to PH Max Giese. 5-3 Loggers. Walter 1-2, 3 BB; DeWeese 1-2, BB, 2B, RBI; Petracek 2-4; Thrasher 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Max Giese, 25, hit his third major-league home run. He’s a rookie. He was in his third organization before reaching AA. I wished somebody would choke Ramirez at the grocery store so we could cash insurance.

In other news

September 7 – The Knights lose LF Marty Reyes (.275, 15 HR, 56 RBI) for the year with a sprained ankle.
September 7 – SFW INF Jamie Wilson (.301, 11 HR, 66 RBI) has to sit out a week with a tender hamstring.
September 8 – TIJ OF Josh Rawlings (.254, 12 HR, 68 RBI) shatters his elbow while skateboarding in his driveway, quite definitely rendering him out for the season.

Complaints and stuff

It looks like the Crusaders will out-lose the Raccoons, but maybe the Indians can zip past them. There is a crucial 4-game set coming up, I hear, and with the most recent impressions of this completely soul-bleaching week behind us, yet freshly etched into our brains, maybe they will not make it to the CLCS to get swept after all.

What a ****ing team of losers.

Chris Klein beat the Titans on Thursday, so Toner’s lead in the W column keeps melting. He has lost three of his last four starts, and with any ****ing offense he shouldn’t have lost any, never allowing more than three runs. The ****ing ass team couldn’t overcome him tossing 29 innings with 11 runs allowed (10 earned, thanks Shane Walter), which comes out to a 3.10 ERA – admittedly not great, but then NOBODY on this team is anywhere even NEAR great right now.

How much exactly can I get in trades for DeWeese, Mendoza, and Ramirez?