[Westheim]

Even after adding Kevin Surginer in the Rule 5 Draft, the Raccoons had only nine players on their books that made more than the league minimum, only adding a tenth on December 2 when they signed a backup catcher – more on that below.

Heading into the winter meetings, I was uncertain where we were even going to go. Trading Toner and Cookie was not ENTIRELY out of the question, but I sure needed the right incentive for doing so.

However, rest assured that no Toner or Cookie trade happened during the winter meetings. In fact, the Raccoons were so uninvolved that I spent four of the five days having dinner alone, which hadn’t happened in a number of years. On the fifth day, I was joined by the Wolves’ GM as we formed the Oregon Outcasts, that hip new band that nobody wants to see because they play 60s progressive rock. All he wanted from me was Mike Grigsby, though, and I wasn’t trading Mike Grigsby for a sodden, sad excuse for another first baseman that wasn’t hitting anything in plain sight.

So that was a failure. What was even still on the table for the Critters? I was not totally averse to adding a new #2 starting pitcher, and Frank Kelly was on the market again, except that he had had Tommy John surgery in July and now wanted someone to put $25M on the table. So, that was not going to happen. And between the other free agent starting pitcher left by December there were exactly two types: those that I didn’t like, and those that were type A free agents. Even Matt Rosenthal off the ****ing Elks was a type A free agent, and I sure as hell wouldn’t give the ****ing Elks a second-round pick!

Then again it wasn’t like a #2 starting pitcher was separating the Raccoons from the playoffs. Am I worried that Rico Gutierrez is probably our #2 heading into the season? You can bet your bum I am! But no trades were possible, and all the free agent options were thoroughly unappealing.

There was one type B free agent, 32-yr-old former Scorpion Brian Simmons. He was a stretch for a #2 to begin with, given that he had led the Federal League in homers dinged off him once, and had come close a couple more times. He was allowing a long one every 10.5 innings, which was an alarming rate, and one that was even more concerning in Raccoons Ballpark. The million bucks that he was looking for was probably better placed in the toilet, which would then be flushed.

So yeah, the Prick cut the budget by $3.5M, and after the winter meetings I was still sitting on roughly the same amount and didn’t know where to go with it. Steve from Accounting said in the middle of December that our payroll had dropped to 19th in the league and continued to drop. Yeah, no ****, I know that. I haven’t signed anybody of any kind of accolade…

Steve from Accounting also pointed out that we had $11M in budget space for 2024, except if Senor Valdes would take another cut. So make that $8M.

Should we even be so cruel to resign Jonny Toner? Or should we give him a chance to become an actual World Series champion?

Fun fact: When the Raccoons last won the World Series, Cookie Carmona, Jonny Toner, and Matt Nunley were all two years old.

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December 2 – The Raccoons sign ex-TIJ C Tony “Ogre” Delgado (.261, 79 HR, 466 RBI) to a 1-yr, $400k contract.
December 3 – Reigning Federal League batting champion, 38-year-old ex-DEN 2B Ieyoshi Nomura (.307, 79 HR, 973 RBI), signs a 2-yr, $5.52M contract with the Blue Sox. Nomura is a man on a mission, sitting 183 base hits short of the magical 3,000 mark.
December 4 – The Rebels will pay $1.66M in 2023 to secure the services of ex-DAL CL Alex Silva (39-36, 4.23 ERA, 128 SV).
December 4 – The Crusaders send 27-yr-old C Jason Travis (.261, 5 HR, 39 RBI) to the Rebels for a prospect, #67 C Felipe Delgado.
December 5 – The Indians trade for the Aces’ C Tony Perez (.224, 10 HR, 50 RBI), with MR Miguel Morales (6-7, 3.87 ERA, 1 SV) going to Las Vegas.
December 7 – The Rebels re-unite with C Jamal White (.262, 199 HR, 821 RBI). The 36-year-old catcher signs a 3-yr, $2.85M deal to play for Richmond again, from where he was traded to the Indians during the 2021 season.
December 8 – The Capitals trade for the Cyclones’ outfielder Victor Hodgers (.281, 75 HR, 471 RBI), leaving the Cyclones with two prospects. Hodgers, 31, has missed major time with injuries in the last three seasons.
December 8 – The Warriors trade 31-year-old CL Tyler Nodelman (62-60, 3.31 ERA, 132 SV) to the Blue Sox in exchange for three prospects, all somewhat dull.
December 14 – The Crusaders sign 33-yr old former Knight RF D.J. Fullerton (.290, 132 HR, 692 RBI) to a 4-yr, $6.88M contract.
December 15 – The Aces swoop up 33-yr old ex-POR MR Noah Bricker (88-68, 3.57 ERA, 24 SV) on a 2-yr, $3M deal.
December 16 – The Buffaloes pick up left-hander Tim Wells (17-19, 4.17 ERA), who is 25, from the Warriors for unranked, but promising prospect 1B Brett Judkins.
December 17 – The Raccoons sign 33-year-old MR Francisquo Bocanegra (15-13, 4.50 ERA, 6 SV) to a 1-yr, $350k contract. The left-hander debuted with the Raccoons in 2015 and has pitched for the Crusaders and Bayhawks since.

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The 35-year-old Delgado, who was a starting catcher only once in the last six years, will back up Tovias in ’23. It is a cheap, but solid solution, I think, even though he is coming off his worst offensive season in a decade, but those are not words that are shocking anymore to anybody that was close to the ’22 Coons, who in fact had put up the worst offensive showing by any Raccoons team in 17 years, and the fifth-worst ever with 584 runs scored.

Bocanegra was a desperate addition once I realized that David Kipple was probably not going to last long against major league pitching and needed more seasoning OR … another career choice entirely. Bocanegra’s results have been uninspiring, so I assume he will fit right in. He pitched to a 4.00 ERA in ’22, chased to 78 innings by the Baybirds. But he added 0.4 WAR in offseason transactions to the roster, bringing our total additions in terms of WAR to … 0.5 … and that is … that is without all the departures.

Also, the Hall of Fame ballot is life, and it is the last one without Nick Brown on it, who will campaign for his election 12 months from now. This one does have a Raccoons starter, though, although I don’t fancy Ralph Ford’s chances.

And where are they now? Adam Zuhlke signed with the Cyclones for $380k; Manobu Sugano joined the Scorpions for $466k;