[Westheim]

Good news everybody! – What? – Nah, we’re still gonna lose 90.

But on February 8, the Raccoons and Cookie Carmona jointly announced a 4-yr, $7.5M contract extension with the Panamanian outfielder, who will make $2M in 2024 and 2025, and then gradually less as old age will reduce him to bone dust.

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January 4 – The Stars trade 1B/LF/RF Jose Avila (.298, 38 HR, 264 RBI) and cash to the Falcons. Their compensation amounts to two long-shot prospects.
January 9 – The Warriors give a 2-yr, $2.64M contract to ex-OCT SP Evan Greenfield (86-90, 3.96 ERA).
January 14 – 40 years old, LF Jose “Dingus” Morales (.326, 352 HR, 1,388 RBI) still has an axe to grind with those goshdarn baseballs and signs a 1-yr, $348k deal with the Buffaloes.
January 23 – The Condors add 32-year-old ex-DEN/RIC RF/CF John Wilson (.267, 115 HR, 596 RBI) for 4-yr, $4.54M.
January 30 – The Miners trade 34-year-old RF/LF Will Newman (.289, 96 HR, 566 RBI) to the Raccoons for 23-yr-old AAA MR Markus Bates.
January 30 – OCT SP Bryan Hanson, who won 17 games in ’22, will have to undergo surgery to remove bone spurs from his elbow and will miss the first two months of the season.
February 1 – Ex-DEN/ATL SS Piet Oosterom (.261, 8 HR, 424 RBI) signs with the Cyclones. The 30-year-old Dutch Antillean will make $550k for a single season.
February 7 – The Cyclones also add 29-yr-old ex-SFB/RIC 2B/SS Raul Claros (.274, 43 HR, 370 RBI) on a 1-year deal that will pay the left-handed hitter $520k.
February 9 – The Pacifics add 32-yr old right-hander Matt McCabe (101-112, 4.23 ERA, 1 SV) on a 3-yr, $2.86M contract. McCabe was with the Capitals for the last three seasons.

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The Miners finally succeeded in planting me with Newman, whom they had signed to a rich 6-year contract prior to the 2020 season and had since then left him to rot on the bench. He started all of five games in 2022, batting for a not very meaningful .310/.375/.506.

While there are three more years and $5.06M left on that 6-year-deal, it’s actually more like two years and $3.6M given a very team-friendly buyout for 2025. And in fact, Newman will continue to rot on the bench after being exchanged for a non-prospect, a wannabe closer with horrendous control. The Miners knew they got nothing – and they’re still happy. They actually wanted Bates AND Dwayne Metts, but I had to curb their enthusiasm a bit there. In a pure salary dump, you should not get greedy.

Where does Newman fit in? Well, Cookie and Alfaro occupy the corners, but in all honesty Alfaro SUCKED in his rookie season and batted that already-mentioned 8-for-80 to end the season. He looks like something the cat vomited on your favorite pillow. We tentatively scheduled Omar Alfaro bobbleheads for late May, but I’m not actually sure he’ll still be around in late May. If he does not pick up his game, it’s off to St. Petersburg right away, and then Newman might actually have slid into a starting job. For now, Zach Graves will be put out of his misery with this trade, since between Cookie, Alfaro, and Newman we have zero players that I want to see in centerfield, and so I need both Stevenson and the odd creature Frank Santos on the roster.

What the **** is Santos doing here again?

(shakes head)

Elsewhere, the Thunder picked up Cole Pierson for $318k. Quinn MacCarthy settled on the Stars for $426k, and the Stars would also pick up Mike Denny for $260k. Danny Rice had to settle for $284k from the Knights. Eddie Jackson hooked up with the Rebels for $296k.

And now the good one!

****ING R.J. DeWeese is a free agent no more, signing a $312k deal on February 6.

With the Loggers. Who also blew their second-round pick to sign 41-year-old Antonio Esquivel.

They’re still drunk up there from that ONE micro-dynasty they built, hah?