[Westheim]

2023 PORTLAND RACCOONS – Opening Day Roster (first set in parenthesis shows 2022 numbers, second set career numbers; players with an * are off season acquisitions):

SP Jonathan Toner, 32, B:R, T:R (8-5, 3.80 ERA | 153-63, 2.55 ERA) – there is missing half the season with an injury again, and then there is posting another 3.50+ ERA campaign after he spent more or less his entire 20s pitching to ERAs in the 2.30 range. While 2021 was downright the worst FULL season for Jonny Toner, 2022 didn’t see him get any better. The four-time Pitcher of the Year is in a contract year, and looking at the numbers as a whole it also looks like his Hall of Fame campaign, that never seemed in doubt even two years ago, is brittle around the edges at least.
SP Rico Gutierrez, 23, B:L, T:L (8-10, 3.11 ERA | 8-10, 3.11 ERA) – The main surprise of the 2022 season (positive at least), Gutierrez exerted decent control while keeping batters alert with a move-happy 96mph heater. Like anybody else he got little to no run support and posted a losing record, but he at least generates some mild hope for better days ahead … or he goes the Ricky Martinez route and crashes and burns badly this season and gets traded for an old fart a winter from now.
SP Jesus Chavez, 25, B:R, T:R (4-5, 4.04 ERA | 5-9, 4.57 ERA) – signed for hard cash and a 4-year deal out of Cuba prior to ’21, Chavez so far hasn’t done anything much for the Raccoons, struggling mightily in 20 starts dispersed across two seasons. Cream, they say, rises to the top, and I sure hope his slider finally gets creamy...
SP Ryan Nielson, 30, B:L, T:L (7-7, 3.61 ERA | 12-12, 4.03 ERA) – working 100+ innings at the major league level for the first time at 29, Nielson was a surprise last year in that he didn’t fall apart like the other nine guys ahead of him on the depth chart. Rising to the occasion of getting another reluctant chance, he delivered some major league-appropriate pitching – of course a winning record wasn’t in the cards, because the team wouldn’t score for him either. Of course his borderline repertoire of two-and-three-quarters of pitches will totally be sufficient once more this year, else “Tragic” Travis Garrett might reappear again in this spot.
SP Matt Huf, 23, B:R, T:R (3-6, 4.16 ERA | 3-6, 4.16 ERA) – acquired in a mid-season trade for Frank Kelly from the Blue Sox, Huf struggled badly with his control, walking more than five batters per nine innings. This is something that usually gets better for young pitchers, so we are totally zen with him being in the rotation again for 2023.

MU Adam Cowen, 28, B:R, T:R (0-1, 3.94 ERA | 3-7, 3.55 ERA) – hopeless quad-A reliever with a limited repertoire that has been making sporadic appearances all the way since 2018 and has never stuck around. No more than long man material.
MR Francisquo Bocanegra *, 33, B:L, T:L (6-1, 4.00 ERA, 1 SV | 15-13, 4.50 ERA, 6 SV) – returning Raccoon after six years abroad, Bocanegra is not exactly going to overpower anybody, and the Raccoons hope to use him as a 1-year bridge to help David Kipple develop into a proper pitcher and take this roster spot next year.
MR Billy Brotman, 24, B:L, T:L (0-1, 5.06 ERA | 0-1, 5.06 ERA) – his debut was uninspiring to say the least, and while he struck out 15 batters in 16 innings, he also walked eight and was taken deep twice, which are all non-good numbers. Despite all this, Brotman is the leading lefty in the pen now (outside of Lillis) and another one of the plenty of youngsters that all have to click for the Raccoons to avoid 90 losses.
MR Kevin Surginer *, 23, B:R, T:R (rookie) – taken in the rule 5 draft for the second consecutive season, but this time actually sticking around rather than being returned to the Rebels, Surginer will make his major league debut as one of plenty of fastball/curveball pitchers in the Raccoons’ pen.
MR Joe Moore, 25, B:R, T:R (0-0, 2.53 ERA | 0-0, 2.53 ERA) – armed with a wipeout curveball that was as close to unhittable as pitches came, Moore had been a trade addition in the Coons first deconstruction spell in July of ’21, and had found promotion to the majors almost exactly a year later. He walked five per nine innings but somehow seemed to escape major damage most of the time. He also struck out more than eight batters per nine, which isn’t bad for rookie relievers…
SU Vince Devereaux *, 24, B:R, T:R (5-6, 3.42 ERA | 9-9, 4.10 ERA, 2 SV) – this trade addition has a nasty curveball in combination to 97mph heat and should make hitters fear for their lives… because sometimes pitches could end up in the general region of their head. No, no, it will all be fine with Devereaux as setup man, and his walks have already gone down a lot from the 7.5 BB/9 in ’21.
CL Brett Lillis, 34, B:L, T:L (3-4, 2.31 ERA, 34 SV | 36-54, 3.10 ERA, 248 SV) – his cutter/curve combo kills, most of the time at least. Lillis had some odd meltdowns from time to time, but the Raccoons have been used to those from their every closer ever since Angel Casas departed… besides closing, we also count on Brett to be a responsible herder of all the kits in the pen this season…

C Elias Tovias, 23, B:S, T:R (.232, 2 HR, 4 RBI | .232, 2 HR, 4 RBI) – an international free agent addition in July of 2017, Tovias moved his way up the ranks with so-so batting results, but has also shown to be a great defensive catcher with some smart pitch calling behind the plate, so if he hits anything at all in his rookie season he could well become a two-way asset.
C/1B Tony Delgado, 35, B:R, T:R (.238, 2 HR, 18 RBI | .261, 79 HR, 466 RBI) – will provide veteran support to the rookie Tovias, who is one of 17 unexperienced key ingredients in our major cunning plan to roll up the field from behind.

3B/2B/1B/SS Shane Walter *, 33, B:L, T:R (.335, 3 HR, 53 RBI | .308, 41 HR, 517 RBI) – Walter returns to the Raccoons in a switch for Gil Rockwell, which basically dumped a chunk of salary on the Raccoons, but also robbed them of their last true home run hitter. In turn we get a high-contact bat with steady production for many years, and, well, get to reunite with a key piece of the most recent Coons playoff efforts from 2017 through 2019. When Walter left as free agent after ’19, success left as well…
2B/LF/3B/SS Jarod Spencer, 25, B:R, T:R (.289, 0 HR, 41 RBI | .289, 0 HR, 54 RBI) – considering ball four as an insult, Spencer has not only not hit a home run in 722 AB in the majors .
SS/2B Tim Stalker, 24, B:R, T:R (.246, 6 HR, 43 RBI | .246, 6 HR, 43 RBI) – very good defensive shortstop, more than just token speed, but somehow the expectation of him being more than just that soft-hitting defensive shortstop didn’t quite come to fruition in his unassuming rookie campaign in which he amounted only to a drab .667 OPS. The sky is the limit, they say, but Stalker is going to be 25 in July, and what is the latest that power can break out for a guy?
3B Matt Nunley, 32, B:L, T:R (.269, 13 HR, 79 RBI | .284, 97 HR, 582 RBI) – excellent defensive third baseman that has somehow yet to win a Gold Glove, and also an institution on the roster at this point. 2023 marks Nunley’s tenth appearance on the Opening Day roster, and it’s hard to imagine the hot corner without him at this point. Good ol’ #42 might well lead the team in home runs this year unless Omar Alfaro breaks out, which also means he’s going to be our cleanup hitter – hooray!
1B Russ Greenwald, 29, B:L, T:L (.311, 0 HR, 4 RBI | .256, 2 HR, 19 RBI) – festering in AAAgony for years and years, it had been three years since his most recent major league appearance when he was called up to the majors again late in the 2022 season in a desperate attempt to get whatever going. He showed no power in 79 plate appearances, but power is no longer the Raccoons’ way of life anyway, it seems, and he can still try to make a living coming off the bench.
3B/2B/SS/1B/RF Sam Armetta, 26, B:S, T:R (.266, 1 HR, 14 RBI | .232, 3 HR, 25 RBI) – an oddball infielder to somehow stick around for a team that recycled more than half the personnel on last year’s Opening Day roster, Armetta figures to get the odd pinch-hitting and fatigue-relief assignment again. His bat is not one you want to see in the lineup day to day, which is a way of stating that, yes, he’s a Raccoon.

LF/CF/RF Ricardo Carmona, 31, B:L, T:R (.317, 0 HR, 38 RBI | .321, 19 HR, 498 RBI) – injuries found Cookie in leftfield, and I have nowhere else to hide him from them; and despite the first signs of age showing with decreased speed, Cookie remained a high-average singles-slapper that was a constant threat to get on base and advanced into scoring position on his own, stealing 28 bases in just 116 games in ’22. He also signed a 4-year extension prior to the season, keeping him in the brown shirt through his age 35 season.
RF/LF/CF/2B Josh Stevenson, 30, B:R, T:R (.250, 5 HR, 35 RBI | .260, 33 HR, 253 RBI) – delivered a second-consecutive unimpressive season and continued to get hurt as well while attempting to hold down a centerfielder’s job that is totally his because the Raccoons fail to find anything in their CF prospects. Is in a contract year, so maybe he can find some motivation to pick it up, somewhere...
RF/LF Omar Alfaro, 22, B:S, T:L (.159, 1 HR, 19 RBI | .159, 1 HR, 19 RBI) – the Age of Omar arrived in ’22 with a bang – of an exploding tire. Alfaro batted well for two weeks or so, then never met a ball again, batting .100 for the latter half of his 150+ at-bats in ’22. The general consensus is that it can not get any worse.
LF/RF Will Newman *, 34, B:R, T:R (.310, 2 HR, 19 RBI | .289, 96 HR, 566 RBI) – the old fart mentioned above was picked up late in the offseason on a straight salary dump from the Miners, and figures to be a more expensive version of Eddie Jackson for the 2018-2021 Raccoons, a capable bat off the bench that was not a pleasure to watch in the field – just at twice the price. Newman would however take over as rightfield starter if Alfaro would continue to bat .159, and soon.
LF/RF/CF Frank Santos, 29, B:R, T:R (.198, 1 HR, 4 RBI | .263, 3 HR, 47 RBI) – claimed off waivers by the Wolves (…!), Santos batted anemically late in the 2022 season, yet somehow stuck around as our officially endorsed backup centerfielder, although his defense in centerfield is not great at all. Nobody quite knows what this franchise is doing anymore...

On disabled list:
MR Cory Dew, 26, B:R, T:R (4-4, 2.77 ERA, 1 SV | 11-12, 3.00 ERA, 5 SV) – Dew’s 92mph fastball and nasty curve have been a welcome addition to the bullpen, and he pitched well enough to be a hot candidate for the setup reliever’s job in 2023, but unfortunately he tore his rotator cuff at the end of the 2022 season and will spend the first half of the season on the DL and then head for rehab at AAA.

Otherwise unavailable: Nobody.

Other roster movement:
MR Will West, 29, B:R, T:R (0-1, 1.93 ERA | 5-8, 4.36 ERA) – like Cowen a quad-A reliever with no serious pedigree, West is waived and DFA’ed at the start of the season after the addition of Devereaux squeezed the capacity of the pen.
SS/3B/2B Daniel Bullock, 25, B:S, T:R (.236, 0 HR, 15 RBI | .241, 0 HR, 35 RBI) – excellent defensive shortstop that debuted with a splash mid-2021 and then slowly faded to obscurity. If you lose your backup spot to a 28-year-old backup first baseman with no resume, you know it’s on you.

Opening day lineup:
LF Carmona – 2B Spencer – 1B Walter – 3B Nunley – RF Alfaro – CF Stevenson – SS Stalker – C Tovias – P Toner

There is no distinction between the left- and right-handed opposing pitcher lineups this year. Pitchers will never face more than two consecutive batters of their handedness in the lineup above, which at the same time is all we can jigsaw-puzzle together with the pieces at hand. Platoon potential is extremely limited, f.e. Greenwald and Santos have the same handedness as the guys they would replace, and Delgado and Newman are trapped behind switch-hitters. Armetta is a switch-hitter himself, and not a great one at that.

OFF SEASON CHANGES:

The Raccoons came off 91 losses and knew that their rookies and sophomores had not delivered in that rugged 2022 campaign. They also knew that there was no way to rebuild on the spot with the manifold bald patches in their fur. 2023 was always coming to be a tryout season for the youngsters, and sieving out those that would not deliver at all. From that point going forward, the Raccoons were generally lethargic during the offseason and only engaged in player shuffling when other teams enticed them. Of the three trades we did, two were salary dumps by other teams, and only the Devereaux trade was actually started by the Coons. We also added less than 1 WAR in free agents, so it’s not a surprise that the Coons came in near the bottom of the BNN offseason WAR gains chart, ranking 16th with -1.9 WAR.

Top 5: Condors (+11.3), Aces (+7.7), Gold Sox (+3.1), Crusaders (+3.0), Warriors (+2.8)
Bottom 5: Canadiens (-4.4), Miners (-4.9), Scorpions (-5.4), Knights (-8.6), Stars (-9.8)

PREDICTION TIME:

Last year I predicted a slow start, a steady decline, and a selloff in July before the team would end up 74-88, and I was not that far from the truth. While there had been an outside chance on success, it had been the same outside chance an actual raccoon would have had at riding a motorcycle and jumping over a ramp and 15 semi trucks without crashing and burning to death.

This year is hard to predict, because you have to predict how many of the dozen-or-so scraps that no other team would even look at for two seconds and that still had made their way onto the roster would actually break out. The list of on one hand scraps that had impressed in ’22 and were expected to so again, and on the other hand rookies we had considered future keystones to the franchise not doing anything in ’22 was a long one and encompassed about half the roster. Then include obvious wastes of roster space and salaries like Frank Santos…

The rotation is mostly unguessable because even Toner these days is volatile and the other four guys we are basically including on wings and prayers only. The bullpen consists of rookies with mediocre debuts and old bums that nobody likes, and Lillis. We have rookies and second- and third-year players that have so far not set the world on fire in four lineup spots, and no power in the lineup at all. And Matt Nunley as cleanup man is probably the red flag being raised on Opening Day, but we can’t exactly help it.

The eternal optimist, I expect nothing to get better, some things to get worse, maybe more demotivational trades in June, and the Raccoons to end up 67-95 and beaten, physically as well as spiritually.

PLAYER DEVELOPMENT:

The Coons are in the unenviable spot of having the worst farm system in the league (again), down from 15th place last season. The main reason for this might be that of the six ranked prospects we had last season, the top 5 (Chavez, Moore, Stalker, Brotman, and Gutierrez) all promoted to the majors and none retained eligibility, and the sixth ranked prospect the pundits soured on. The Raccoons only have four ranked prospects this season, only one above the A-level, and are probably going to have another nine losing seasons to soldier through at this point.

53rd (new) – INT SS Alberto Ramos, 17 – 2022 international free agent signed by Raccoons
89th (new) – A SP Felipe Delgado, 21 – 2019 scouting discovery by Raccoons
161st (new) – AAA SP Jonathan Shook, 24 – 2020 supplemental round pick by the Cyclones; acquired from Cyclones with Chris McKendrick for Hugo Mendoza
171st (new) – INT SP Gilberto Rendon, 18 – 2021 scouting discovery by Raccoons

The franchise top 10 were completed by unranked ML MR Kevin Surginer, 23 (rule 5 pick from RIC), AA SS/3B Hugo Ochoa, 21 (2018 IFA), AA SS/3B Butch Gerster, 21 (2022 1st Rd.), AA SP Jason Butler, 22 (2020 Supp. Rd.), AA SP Marco Ramirez, 22 (2017 IFA), and A 2B/SS Chris Golka, 21 (2021 2nd Rd.);

The top 5 overall prospects this year are:

#1 TOP AAA SP Nick Danieley (newly drafted in 2022)
#2 OCT AAA SS/2B Alex Serrato (was #38)
#3 NYC A LF/RF Ivan Vega (was #32)
#4 SAC AAA RF/LF/1B Juan Ojeda (was #6)
#5 LAP AA SP Dave Christiansen (newly drafted in 2022)

Last year’s top five seized to exist more or less. #1 Chris McGee dropped to #6, #4 Adam Moran dropped to #8, and #5 Gilberto Castillo fell to #22. The Warriors’ #2 Ricky Tello and the Wolves’ #3 Ben Adams both made their major league debuts and exhausted their eligibility, but neither is on the Opening Day roster this year.

Next: first pitch.