[Eugene Church]

THE ISLANDIAN TIMES
Tuesday, September 19, 2056

TURON TRIUMPHS IN TU SOUTH, Y'ALL!
The Turon Typhoons have won the Tycobbian South Division 4 times in the last 6 seasons... in '51 and '55 they were beaten out in a single-game playoff... in those 6 years they averaged 98 wins per season... yes, you might say Turon has been been a powerhouse in recent years... could this be the Year of the Typhoon in IPA circles?... in the preseason prognostications the Typhoons were a heavy favorite, forecast to win by a dozen or more games... and Turon (96-58) did it... they prevailed over the second place Arroyo Grande Suns (84-70) by 12 games... the Southport Sun Sox (80-74) were third and 16 games off the pace... and fourth place went to the Summerland Sunsets (78-76), 18 games back in the pennant race... Turon was up by 5 games over the Suns and 7 games ahead of Summerland at the All-Star Game break... then the Typhoons proceeded to blow away Arroyo Grande and Summerland in the second half of the season.

Turon (96-58) is a talented team and does almost everything well... the Typhoons batted .279 (1st)... scored 806 runs (3rd)... but they are only average with 139 homers (15th-tied)... strong on the hill with a 3.33 ERA (6th)... and good with the gloves (.975 FA)... the only drawback is its bullpen... it may hurt them in the playoffs... former closer Bobby Reimer (22-6/2.48) really blossomed in his first season in the regular rotation... last year's Golden Arm winner Yancey Hedges (20-14/3.44) still won 20 games, but wasn't as dominating as last year, but did make the All-Star team... Judson Bacall (11-8/3.48) and Ollie Dickinson (12-8/3.25) were pleasant surprises, along with rookie Ivar Jevicks (5-1/2.94)... unfortunately Jevicks had arm trouble and was lost in the middle of May and missed the rest of the season... Turon has a strong core of capable batters: 1B Shoyo Yuro (.313/19/82/88/7 SB), RF Matthew Fear (.323/23/89/79/1 SB), 2B Bo Kaline (.301/8/64/78/28 SB), SS Bill Wolverton (.299/15/75/77/17 SB), C Doyle Ashcroft (.294/20/79/76), LF Andy Wilkerson (.288/14/56/62/6 SB) and CF Maxie Mullinax (.275/4/57/87/35 SB)... the Typhoons have the talent to go deep in the postseason this year... but the winner of the Tycobbian Union really has its work cut out for them with challengers like Midway, Arlon, Turon... and even lightly-regarded White River, which has been known to knock off elite teams in the postseason the last few seasons... the Pro Cup champion this year will probably come out of the Tycobbian Union... the Typhoons have a successful IPA history with 18 postseason appearances and 4 Pro Cup trophies in their collection, tied with North Hills and Valmara... number 5 might be on the horizon this year.

The Arroyo Grande Suns (84-70) have been pretty bad in their history... no pennants and playoffs since 2024... only 4 postseasons overall and zero Pro Cups... but things have gotten better for the Suns ever since they swapped the best player in the IPA in '54... yep, that's right!... they gave up Norishige Ito for three players... they also traded darn good slugging 1B Vince Kinston to Grand City for two starting pitchers... it was a win-win for all three clubs... Midway got superstar Ito, Grand City got powerhitting from Kinston and Arroyo Grande got 5 contributing players in return... two of them strong starters, Beau McCloud and Roy Tuthill... All-Star McCloud (25-12/2.94) has won 60 games in his three seasons with the Suns... Tuthill (20-14/3.15) has chalked up 53 victories in those years... the Suns have solid pitching with a 3.47 ERA (10th), lousy hitting with a pathetic .234 BA (32nd), but good scoring with 196 HR (2nd) and 702 runs (13th)... plus they field well with a .975 FA... add in starters Nap Vickerson (19-14/3.15) and Rocky Steed (15-17/4.06) and you have a formidable foursome on your staff... the bullpen could be better with closer Stan Chaffin (3-5/3.38/22 saves/39 G) the best of the lot... the Suns don't make a lot of contact, but when they do, they do well with the likes of All-Star CF Rueben Jones (.256/41/106/102/18 SB), rookie SS Dan Fargo (.256/32/84/107/9 SB) and solid veteran 1B Russell Taylor (.281/26/80/91/15 SB)... two players in the Midway trade are three-year regulars: 2B Nate Stiles (.227/21/67/66/8 SB) and RF Elton O'Leary (.209/11/53/75/8 SB)... they don't hit for average, but have some pop, and they are good defenders... Arroyo Grande is not far from being a very good club... a couple of good bats and a good reliever could do it.

The Southport Sun Sox (80-74) have been in the first division of the TU South for 15 of the last 17 seasons... winning the division flag 8 times and capturing 2 Pro Cups (2044, 2047)... they actually upset powerful Turon in last year, taking the division flag in a single-game playoff... they always have good pitching, but not always good bats... that's why the Sun Sox slipped to the third spot this year... Southport only batted a weak .249 (22nd), scored only 626 runs (28th), hit just 106 roundtrippers (26th), but compiled a fine 3.23 ERA (4th) and played excellent defense (.978 FA)... the top guns on the staff were Irv Carwell (22-11/3.31), Zack Phillips (3.24) and Champ Shafer (12-6/3.13)... and they have a sensational pen with a 2.22 ERA (3rd), anchored by Troy Hill (5-5/0.82/25 saves/50 G)... no stars in the batting order, but the Sun Sox have a few reliable bats like RF Manuelo Garcia (.302/17/82/82/16 SB), 1B Zee Graham (.252/18/85/54), 2B Buzzy McGinnis (.271/12/61/84/21 SB), CF Ross Good (.255/11/51/77/29 SB) and SS Kenny Urban (.271/8/59/76/12 SB)... boy, what a star hitter or two would do for Southport.

After performing well in '53 (82-72) and in '54 (92-62) with super pitching, Summerland flopped miserably last season (62-92)... but lo and behold the Summerland Sunsets' (78-76) mound staff did a huge about-face and ended up in fourth place with a magnificent 2.93 ERA (3rd)... sadly they didn't have the offense to match... they batted a lowly .238 (29th), scored only 565 runs (31st) and had just 111 homers (24th-tied)... defensively the Sunsets are just average (.972 FA)... Summerland has top-notched starters in 39-year-old superstar and future HOF-er Jayson Hallstrom (20-12/2.45), along with All-Star Tommy Underhill (18-15/2.66), Jacob Vandenboom (11-10/2.88) and Rudy Hilgendorf (15-14/3.35) ... and Rory Poe (4-6/2.40/26 saves/46 G) is a solid closer... the Summerland offense is horrible... 2B Chris Koning (.285/0/22/56/14 SB) has the best average at only .285... LF Cy Brigman (.218/23/65/58/1 SB) has the most long balls... 1B Zane Howe (.255/16/71/55) is the most productive, along with 3B Markus Cruyssen (.224/17/63/40/6 SB)... the overall club history is pretty dismal with just 4 postseason appearances and no Pro Cups... the last pennant came in 2046... right now Summerland is just a middle-of-the-pack so-so club with some mighty fine pitchers... the Sunsets need to get some smack-and-sock in their lineup.

The Colchester Elites (67-87) and Cape Coral Hurricanes (67-87) deadlocked for fifth place this season in the Tycobbian South Division... the Elites are just a lackluster team on the hill (26th) and at the plate (20th), but they do hit with power with 179 HR (8th)... just fair with the gloves (.971 FA)... not very good the last 20 years, finishing mainly in the second division 19 times... Colchester has made the playoffs on just 4 occasions... the last TU South flag was hoisted long ago in 2036... never won a Pro Cup trophy... Denzel Durand (17-16/3.82) and Johnny Walker (11-18/3.89) are just fair starters... and long-time closer Haden Fraser (5-4/3.92/17 saves/36 G) may be showing his age at 34... it was the poorest year he has ever had... however, the Elites have a couple of sluggers in 1B Erroll Waldrep (.300/34/108/77) and Graig Sutton (.295/36/83/78)... CF Eldon McLennan (.314/13/67/90/38 SB) and 2B James Murchison (.282/12/53/69/14 SB) are fairly reliable hitters, too... they really need help on the hill and at the plate.

Success has not come lately to the fifth-place Cape Coral Hurricanes (67-87)... last year they were fourth (79-75), the only first-division appearance in the last 9 seasons... the 'Canes have only been to the IPA playoffs 8 times in their IPA history and have not yet won a Pro Cup... Cape Coral can hit the heck out of the ball with a .276 BA (3rd), 774 runs (4th) and 147 HR (13th), but they can't get anybody out with a towering 4.65 ERA (32nd)... all of the starters have at least a 4.00 ERA or more... Edgardo Arriaza (17-11/4.20) is tops in wins... Jerrod Kipling (11-17/4.01) has the best ERA... and Frisco Francis (15-21/4.66) has the most losses... none of them are really impressive... same thing for the bullpen... sadly most of their ERAs are over 5.00... defense is bad, too, with a .967 FA... but on the other hand, the Hurricanes can hit the ball with 3B Jaybird Ethridge (.268/29/114/74), 1B Kalian Coston (.277/29/84/81/14 SB), SS Lynwood Barley (.318/8/70/80/17 SB), LF Marvin Cordice (.303/12/62/109/34 SB) and RF Darrin Abernathy (.312/11/62/89/20 SB)... a couple of quality starters could really make a difference... the 'Canes could make a run at second or third place.

Only twice in the past 16 seasons has Ginza made the TU South first division (2048, 2051)... it's been almost three decades since they graced the postseason playoffs (2031) and the Ninjas have never captured an IPA Pro Cup title... for the last 5 years they have been marooned near the bottom of the division... finishing seventh the last 4 years in a row... the Ginza Ninjas (64-90) had pathetic pitching this season with a soaring 4.63 ERA (31st)... plus the offense was just average with a .261 BA (15th), 694 runs (16th-tied) and 123 homers (20th)... however, the Ninjas handle the gloves very well with a .977 FA... Ginza has two very talented ballplayers in All-Star SS Kuzuki Tamura (.305/12/89/93/20 SB) and 22-year-old 1B Vic Carmaggio (.344/18/72/90/13 SB), who topped the Tycobbian Union with a .344 BA, which was third best in the IPA... only IPA leader Gus Abreu (.345) of Elnora and Scooter Pugh (.344) of Sligo were better... and not by much... 3B Horace Dyson (.295/3/41/73) and RF Chris Pfeiffer (.283/14/64/58/5 SB) were also fairly good batters... not a lot of quality on the mound staff... Fran Kercheval (14-16/3.76) was the only decent starter... Motohiro Shima (12-19/4.68) also gave them a few quality starts... closer Adam Worth (2-5/1.97/23 saves/45 G) did a very good job with some bullpen help from Georgie Wicker (5-4/3.31/2 saves/63 G) and Sammy Fitzwater (3-2/2.09/2 saves/33 G).

For 17 straight years from 2037 to 2053 San Alejo finished in the first division, but not for the last 3 seasons when they were sixth (75-79), sixth (69-85) and finally this year the San Alejo Montaneros (62-92) sunk down to eighth place, dead last in the Tycobbian South Division... the Monties have never had much offense, always depending on standout pitching, but this year it was abysmal with a .237 BA (30th), only 548 runs (32nd) and 116 HR (23rd)... pitching was just average with a 3.82 ERA (17th)... over the years the keys to the club's success have been superstar hurlers Matt Bell (382-218/2.41) and Will McKinney (321-188/2.64), along with superstar slugger RF Paulo Teixeira (.297 BA/559 HR/1815 RBI)... all of them are up in age... Bell (37), McKinney (36) and Teixeira (37), but still quite productive... Bell was 15-17 with a strong 2.85 ERA... McKinney was 13-21 with a solid 3.28 ERA... and Teixeira led the team with a .280 BA, 23 HR and 74 RBI... McKinney and Teixeira have indicated they may retire this year, but Bell will be back... he only need 12 more wins to become the IPA all-time leader in wins... Frankie Quinn, the Fort Benton and Blue Lake great, holds the record with 391 victories... it might be really tough for Bell to break the record because San Alejo is so bad and seem to be getting worse... the future HOF-ers didn't have much help... closer Marcelo Cervantes (6-8/2.76/17 saves/44 G) performed well, but the rest of the staff was useless... no one in the batting order came close to Teixeira's numbers... 2B Allen Hooper (.271/8/39/75/8 SB) and 3B Benito Clemente (.268/3/53/52/14 SB) were just fair at best... the Montaneros need a severe rebuilding... they are just too old now with very little talent.