[Westheim]

Raccoons (30-38) vs. Crusaders (40-29) – June 19-21, 2023

The revived Crusaders would like to take another swing at the Raccoons, against whom they had played six times already this season and had taken five wins. They were allowing the fewest runs in the Continental League, but they might perhaps want to look into adding offense, because their batting average was the second-lowest in the CL, and they were scoring the fourth-fewest runs.

Projected matchups:
Jesus Chavez (5-5, 4.54 ERA) vs. Tim Dunn (5-4, 3.60 ERA)
Jonathan Shook (0-1, 5.40 ERA) vs. Mike Rutkowski (9-3, 2.73 ERA)
Chris McKendrick (0-2, 2.77 ERA) vs. Jeremy Waite (8-1, 3.05 ERA)

We’ll get a southpaw to begin the series, then two right-handers. One familiar face was missing from the Crusaders lineup this time around, with Cuban infielder Sergio Valdez, a regular since 2018, was on the DL with a herniated disc in his back.

Game 1
NYC: SS R. Soto – 1B I. Flores – RF Fullerton – LF J. Williams – 3B Schmit – C Asay – CF Douglas – 2B J. Gomez – P Dunn
POR: CF Stevenson – 1B Cardona – 2B Walter – 3B Nunley – LF Newman – RF Alfaro – C Tovias – SS Stalker – P Chavez

One thing that was always unnerving was base hits by the opposing pitchers to begin an inning. This was just not the way things were supposed to go. Tim Dunn, forever pig-faced and pink-faced, knocked a ball into center to begin the third inning for a single, and Robby Soto followed him right up. The Crusaders seemed to have something brewing after two scoreless frames to start the game, but then managed to get a pop from Ivan Flores, a grounder to Chavez by D.J. Fullerton for a force at second base, and then Chavez struck out Jake Williams. The Coons struggled to as much as dent Dunn early on, and things would only get worse with time. Shane Walter hit a single in the bottom of the fourth inning that glanced off Flores’ glove at first base, which was about as big a break as the Coons needed for some basic on-base presence. Matt Nunley grounded to Jose Gomez at second base, and Walter crashed into Soto at second base, breaking up the double play and also spraining his ankle. Daniel Bullock replaced him in the game.

The Crusaders broke through Chavez in the fifth, with Soto and Flores hitting doubles past either flank of Will Newman and his limited range in leftfield, both with two outs. Fullerton drove a ball to deep center following a wild pitch by Chavez, but Stevenson caught up with the drive to end the inning. Bottom 5th, we were going back to pitcher singles. Chavez came up with Tovias (double) and Stalker (single) on the corners and cracked a ball to left. Soto missed it, and it was through to the outfield for an RBI single, tying the game again. The Critters would end the inning like the Crusaders, though, stranding another runner on third base with a deep fly out, this one by Manuel Cardona to Fullerton in right. Stevenson had already grounded into a fielder’s choice. Williams and Andy Schmit hit leadoff singles in the sixth inning, and although Nunley turned a magnificent double play on Jason Asay’s bouncer, Williams would score on Lance Douglas’ line drive single to center, restoring the Crusaders to a 2-1 lead, which was only going to grow bigger. Chavez was removed after drilling Dunn to lead off the seventh, which was such a strong move and would definitely, really show the Crusaders into their place… David Kipple couldn’t dig out PH John Richardson’s bunt when he replaced Chavez, giving Richardson a single, and after a Flores groundout D.J. Fullerton belched a ball over the wall in right center, exploding the score to 5-1. When Dunn put the Critters’ leadoff man, Tovias, on with a ball to his bum, Zach Graves made sure to hit into a timely double play from the #9 slot, and speaking about the number nine, the Raccoons also had Brett Lillis pitching in a 4-run loss in the ninth inning to give him something to do other than trying to light Kevin Surginer’s hat on fire in the bullpen – that’s right, not even the Coons’ uniform fabric would want to catch fire! The Crusaders almost overturned Lillis on a Flores single and Williams double, but Bullock got hold of Schmit’s 2-out grounder to end the inning with runners in scoring position. Dunn bid for a complete game win, but allowed a Nunley single to begin the bottom 9th. Oh, I was sure that would be no bother to him eventually! Indeed, after Newman struck out, Dunn found a willing double play candidate in Omar Alfaro, who grounded hard to third base to end the game as Schmit started a 5-4-3 zinger. 5-1 Crusaders. Walter 1-2; Tovias 1-2, 2B;

In terms of casualties, Shane Walter ankle sprain would force him onto the DL, but maybe he could get bent back into shape inside the 15-day minimum stay. Since Tony Delgado was also back in shape, this triggered some roster moves, but we could not bring up Sam Armetta for Walter, since Armetta had also hurt his foot in AAA.

That’s what you need – a ****ty team with mounting injuries!

DL’ing Walter and sending Isaiah Jones onto waivers along with a designation for assignment without him having gotten into a game, the Raccoons added infrequent guest and at 31 years old definitely not a prospect, INF Guillermo Aponte, batting .244 in AAA at the time of promotion, was added to the 25- and 40-man rosters, and we also added SS Jon McGrew again. The 25-year-old McGrew was batting a steady .197 in AAA.

Tuesday’s lineup hinted at a team heading for dissolution.

Game 2
NYC: SS R. Soto – 1B I. Flores – LF J. Williams – 3B Schmit – C Asay – CF Douglas – RF Abraham – 2B J. Gomez – P Rutkowski
POR: CF Stevenson – 1B Cardona – LF Graves – 3B Nunley – RF Newman – C Tovias – SS Bullock – 2B Aponte – P Shook

Shook had been denied a strikeout in his major league debut, but rung up Robby Soto to start the game, which was certainly something he would treasure in his heart forever. Next thing anybody knew, Josh Stevenson followed Shook’s scoreless first with a leadoff jack off Rutkowski in the bottom 1st, setting the Raccoons INTO THE LEAD. While Shook struck out five the first time through the New York order against one base hit, and walked Soto with two outs in the third before Soto was caught stealing, the Coons stranded a few more runners. Manuel Cardona had been hit after the Stevenson homer, but had been left one, as had been Elias Tovias after his leadoff double in the second. Stevenson and Cardona both hit singles to start the bottom 3rd, with Zach Graves getting hit by another wayward Rutkowski pitch, loading the bases for Matt Nunley – the closest thing to a batter still in the lineup – with nobody out. Regrettably, he struck out. Newman hit an RBI single, 2-0, but Tovias also struck out, and Bullock was down 0-2 before he rolled a ball up the middle that eluded Jose Gomez for a 2-run single, 4-0. Aponte would fly out, and the Bullock RBI’s would be unearned on Rutkowski, for Cardona had earlier reached after Andy Schmit had missed a foul pop of his for an error.

Shook slowly came apart in the middle innings, issuing a leadoff walk to Flores in the fourth, which the Crusaders threw away in a double play, and dealing TWO leadoff walks in the fifth to Jason Asay and Lance Douglas. Craig Abraham now hit into a double play to Nunley, but Jason Asay hit an RBI single to get the Crusaders on the board before Rutkowski grounded out to end the inning. The Coons had something brewing in the bottom 5th with a Newman double, after which Tovias was walked intentionally (!). Bullock zinged a ball over Schmit at third base for another double, this one scoring a run. Aponte, hitless in the Bigs in ’23, was walked intentionally with one out to pull up the pitcher, and while Shook struck out that was only half the deal for New York, and a tiring Rutkowski (already a wee bit over 100 pitches) lost Stevenson to a walk in a full count to force in the Critters’ sixth run. Cardona’s grounder was going to end the inning, except that Jose Gomez dropped Soto’s feed at second base for an error, another run scored, and the inning continued. Graves grounded for good then, leaving this a 7-1 game, although the Crusaders got Shook for two runs, as the Coons’ starter again issued two walks with nobody out in the top 6th, and this time wouldn’t get a double play to bail him out. Both runs scored on groundouts. Portland pulled one back on Tovias’ solo homer off Adonis Foster in the bottom 6th, 8-3, and Shook found time to issue a leadoff walk in for the fourth straight inning, to Abraham, in the top 7th, before handling Gomez’ grounder for another double play himself. That was it for him, though, seven walks having been issued, including six with nobody out, and sometimes he was still heading for his first W. Billy Brotman took over and collected four outs from the Crusaders, while the Raccoons added a run against Travis Giordano in the bottom 7th, Zach Graves doubling home Tim Stalker, who had entered the game along with Brotman in a double switch at Aponte’s expense. Bottom 8th, Tovias got on base with a single, and then Tony Delgado got drilled in his first plate appearance after being hurt getting drilled. Stalker singled, loading them up for Stevenson with one out, and Josh hit a bouncer off Giordano that made it past the general catastrophe with a hat that was Jose Gomez for an RBI single, getting the Coons into double digits for the first time since the Moon Landing. Cardona would hit into a double play to end the eighth, and in the ninth Adam Cowen absolutely had to soil the 7-run lead, allowing home runs to Douglas and John Richardson, with a Gomez single in between, for three runs. 10-6 Raccoons. Stevenson 4-5, BB, HR, 3 RBI; Newman 2-4, 2B, RBI; Tovias 3-4, BB, HR, 2B, RBI; Bullock 3-5, 2B, 3 RBI; Stalker 2-2;

The actual last time the Coons had put up ten? Opening Day, 11-4 over the Elks.

Yes, this season.

Game 3
NYC: CF Douglas – 1B I. Flores – RF Fullerton – LF J. Williams – 3B Schmit – C Asay – SS Vacarri – 2B J. Gomez – P Waite
POR: CF Stevenson – 1B Cardona – LF Graves – 3B Nunley – RF Newman – C Tovias – SS Bullock – 2B Stalker – P McKendrick

When McKendrick walked Lance Douglas to begin the rubber game, that was the fifth consecutive inning for a starting pitcher to issue a free pass, still a move I could not find anywhere at all in our playbook. Flores also walked, Fullerton got drilled, and McKendrick had a real mess on his paws now. Jake Williams’ single plated one, Schmit’s sac fly to frighteningly deep leftfield plated another one, but then the Crusaders came apart on groundouts and Bullock stretching to catch Giacobbe Vacarri’s line drive to end the inning, a play at which I swore I saw Cristiano Carmona leap up briefly in his chair.

Substantially the same lineup as on Tuesday, the Coons didn’t do much at all against Waite early on, and we were quickly finding ourselves in the fourth inning and McKendrick drowning again in runners. Vacarri and Gomez both hit leadoff singles and were bunted into scoring position. McKendrick walked Douglas, then drilled Flores to force home a run, 3-0. Fullerton grounded to Stalker, but too slow to turn two, and another run scored, after which McKendrick bailed out with his first strikeout against Jake Williams. The Raccoons answered with an unearned run in the bottom of the inning, Newman’s 2-out double plating Graves, who had reached on Waite’s own throwing error.

McKendrick would last six innings of 5-hit, 4-run ball, walking four against only the Williams strikeout. Kipple took over in the seventh, pitching around Williams’ leadoff double with a grounder handled himself for an out on Schmit, and then strikeouts to Asay and Vacarri. Bullock drew a walk in the bottom 7th, and sure made the most of it for a team that was on three meager hits so far after ramming out 17 the previous game. Bullock stole second, was balked to third, and after Waite also walked Stalker, Omar Alfaro’s pinch-hit sac fly scored Bullock for the Coons’ second run. They were still two short, but Stevenson flew out to left to end the inning, and the Crusaders pulled the run right back in the top 8th. Adam Cowen walked the only batter he faced, Richardson, and the Crusaders maneuvered the runner around on Billy Brotman’s watch that followed. Down 5-2, the Coons would claw once more against Steve Casey in the ninth inning. Dwayne Metts’ pinch-hit single was a good first step, and with two outs another pinch-hitter did some damage, with Tony Delgado cracking a home run that cut the gap to a single run. Stevenson walked to bring up the winning run, which was Cardona, and there were rumors that he had plenty of power, but he struck out to end the game. 5-4 Crusaders. Cardona 2-5, 2 2B; Metts (PH) 1-1; Delgado (PH) 1-1, HR, 2 RBI;

Raccoons (31-40) @ Knights (39-33) – June 23-25, 2023

The Knights had won four straight and two of three against the Raccoons this season. They were sixth in runs allowed, third in runs scored, but there were some black spots to their overall disposition, like the second-worst bullpen in the land that was regularly undoing a strong rotation’s good work.

Projected matchups:
Rico Gutierrez (5-5, 4.19 ERA) vs. Leon Hernandez (5-6, 3.43 ERA)
Travis Garrett (2-0, 2.56 ERA) vs. Alex Maldonado (4-6, 4.29 ERA)
Jesus Chavez (5-6, 4.54 ERA) vs. Chris Rountree (3-0, 4.55 ERA)

The Coons would dance around the two best Knights pitchers by ERA, Brian Cope (9-5, 2.58 ERA) and Danny Martin (6-5, 3.25 ERA). They got right-right-left to worry about, although there was also right-handed veteran Jonathan Ryan (9-3, 3.38 ERA) that had been displaced into the bullpen recently.

Listen, Knights, if you don’t want him anymore…

Game 1
POR: CF Stevenson – 1B Cardona – LF Newman – 3B Nunley – C Tovias – SS Bullock – RF Alfaro – 2B Stalker – P Gutierrez
ATL: RF Stuckey – 3B Farias – SS T. Jimenez – C Luna – LF M. Reyes – 1B Avalos – 2B Hibbard – CF Folk – P L. Hernandez

There was rain on the horizon in the opener, and while Gutierrez was in trouble in the opening frame, allowing a leadoff single to Johnny Stuckey and then walking Emilio Farias, the Knights would flunk out of the inning with poor contact after that. No poor contact from Elias Tovias in the top 2nd: the rookie catcher mashed a leadoff jack off Hernandez, which was his fifth of the season, breaking a tie for the team lead! What exciting times we were living in… The Coons had little going on otherwise, while the Knights got a leadoff single from Hernandez in the bottom 3rd, but Stuckey then hit into a double play. The rain arrived in the fourth inning, and so did the Knights offense. Tony Jimenez hit a leadoff single up the middle, Ruben Luna also singled, and the Knights flipped the score on Marty Reyes’ sac fly to Newman in left, then Tony Avalos’ single to left that scored Luna from second base. Gutierrez drilled Devin Hibbard, putting two on with one out, and the Coons could not turn a double play on Brody Folk’s grounder, erasing only Hibbard at second. When Hernandez drove a 2-out ball into the gap, I was ready to put the game down as a loss, but somehow Stevenson managed to warp over there to make the catch and strand a pair of Knights and thus kept the score to 2-1 in Atlanta’s favor.

But the balls kept falling in against Gutierrez, who allowed a single to Jimenez in the fifth, and then Ruben Luna murdered a harmless breaking ball for a mighty 2-piece, extending the score to 4-1. It was Luna’s 12th homer in 2023, which was *decent* for a team lead at least. He was also one short of 50 RBI now. Brody Folk, not exactly a home run hitter, also went deep off Gutierrez, his sixth-inning solo shot ending the southpaw’s night in a 5-1 game. The Raccoons produced absolutely nothing for so long, when Tim Stalker hit a leadoff triple in the eighth inning it was actually a bit of a moment – this was going to be our start of a comeback! Jon McGrew’s RBI double only assured us of this thought, and then the 1-2-3 batters made 1-2-3 weak outs and the team remained behind by three runs. There was a 45-minute rain delay after the eighth inning, with everybody in attendance expecting the game to be called at the slightest provocation, but the umpires stuck it out to give the Raccoons another vague comeback chance in the ninth. Freddy Heredia got a weak flyout from Nunley, but then allowed a single to Tovias. Zach Graves pinch-hit for Joe Moore in the #6 hole and singled up the middle, bringing up Alfaro with the tying run. A wild pitch advanced the runners, but Alfaro struck out anyway, and when Tony Delgado batted for Stalker, he popped out to short to end the contest. 5-2 Knights. Tovias 2-4, HR, RBI; Graves (PH) 1-1; Stalker 2-3, 2B; McGrew 1-1, 2B, RBI;

Game 2
POR: CF Stevenson – 1B Delgado – LF Graves – 3B Nunley – C Tovias – 2B Stalker – RF Alfaro – SS McGrew – P Garrett
ATL: RF Stuckey – 3B Farias – 1B Avalos – SS T. Jimenez – LF M. Reyes – 2B Hibbard – C D. Rice – CF Folk – P Maldonado

After a perfect first, “Tragic” Travis allowed singles to the first three batters in the second inning. That loaded the bases, and ex-Coon Danny Rice quickly scored the first run of the game with a groundout to Stalker. Folk lifted a ball to right, Alfaro had it, Reyes went for home, and Alfaro had that one, too, throwing out the runner at home plate to end that inning with only a 1-0 deficit. The Coons were not much into the hitting business and then even did not get the little things to break their way, like a bang-bang play at first base to lead off the fourth inning, in which Graves was mercilessly called out. The Knights in turn in the bottom 4th had three walks and a stolen base, and still didn’t score on Garrett, who got Folk to pop out and whiffed Maldonado to strand a full set of runners. Garrett got drilled in the fifth inning by Maldonado, with two outs, on an 0-2 pitch, and with Tim Stalker at third base. Stalker had hit a leadoff double, by far the most exciting thing to happen to the Coons so far in this game. Stevenson cracked a liner to left, but Farias leapt and caught it, ending the inning anyway.

But maybe the team was getting warm now. Tony Delgado hit a leadoff single over the third base bag in the top 6th, and Graves lined into shallow center for another single. Maldonado lost Nunley in a full count, loading the bases with nobody out and only a flimsy 1-0 lead in his favor. Admirably, the Raccoons refused to score – Tovias struck out and Stalker found the opposite shortstop for a good old 6-4-3 inning-ender, and I was gnawing on the bill of my Coons cap just so I would not scream out loud. Garrett remained on the hook after six innings of 1-run ball, walking four and whiffing seven, and the pen fell apart in the bottom 7th to nail him to that cross for good. Vince D walked Sean Young with two outs in the bottom 7th, and with the top of the order primarily left-handed, Kipple replaced him. Craig Dasher pinch-hit though, drew another walk, Farias singled, and Avalos singled two, plating a pair. Kipple walked Jimenez before yielding for Moore after facing four batters and retiring none, but Moore did nothing but miss grossly to Marty Reyes, walking in another run. Devin Hibbard grounded out in a full count, finally ending the bedeviled inning with the Coons now down by four.

Well, the Coons weren’t going to score one, and they sure as hell weren’t going to score four. Stevenson and Graves were on base in the eighth inning for Nunley to bat with one down. Nunley flew out to Folk in left center, Stevenson went for third base, and was thrown out to end the inning. Brett Lillis pitched in his second game of the week, both in rampant losses, and this time even in the bottom of the eighth, delivering a perfect inning at the very least. 4-0 Knights. Stevenson 2-4; Graves 2-3, BB; Garrett 6.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 4 BB, 7 K, L (2-1);

Emilio Farias (.275, 0 HR, 24 RBI), 36, reached the 2,000 hits mark in this game, singling off David Kipple in the seventh. Playing second and third base mostly for the Thunder in his 13-year career, Farias has batted .317 overall with only nine home runs (still nine more then Jarod Spencer) and 663 RBI. He was an All Star three times.

Game 3
POR: CF Stevenson – 1B Cardona – LF Newman – C Delgado – 2B Stalker – 3B Bullock – RF Alfaro – SS McGrew – P Chavez
ATL: RF Stuckey – 3B Farias – C Luna – 1B Avalos – SS T. Jimenez – LF M. Reyes – 2B Hibbard – CF Folk – P Rountree

The Knights had runners in scoring position in the bottom 1st with Farias reaching on a walk and Avalos on Will Newman stumbling and dropping his easy fly that should have ended the inning. Jimenez grounded out poorly to keep the Coons from going down right away. The top 2nd saw Portlanders on the corners after singles by Bullock and Alfaro, but sixth-string shortstop Jon McGrew found it necessary to hit into a double play, and no one scored. Except for the Knights, who took a 1-0 lead in the bottom of the inning on Hibbard’s homer off Chavez, a 390-footer to left. Brody Folk topped Hibbard by 20 feet as he made it back-to-back, and Chavez continued to implode from there, allowing singles to the 1-2-3 batters with two outs, allowing a third run to score on Luna’s single to right. Cardona snagged an Avalos liner to end the inning.

With the Coons’ offensive attempts entirely abortive and best likened to six-week-old kittens getting clumsily trapped under a small ball of yarn and asphyxiating in that position, there was little left but to watch the pitching staff unravel. Chavez issued a leadoff walk to Jimenez in the third, but Reyes hit into a double play, and they left him alone for a while after that. Farias flew out on a 3-0 pitch to begin the fifth inning, which probably cost them a run eventually, as the Knights would get a 2-out double from Tony Avalos, and then Jimenez’ fly to left ended the inning, but might have been deep enough to score Farias in a sac fly scenario. Oh, hold on – a Raccoon on base! Two down in the top 6th, Cardona singled, their first base knock since the second inning, and – oh, shucks! – they picked him off. What a stunning development!

Top 7th, Stuckey’s error put Newman on base to begin the inning – he had a ball glance off the edge of his glove while on the run, which was a tough call, but eh, the focus was more on how the Coons would wacko themselves out of this free runner. Delgado worked a walk in a full count before Stalker grounded back to the mound, but Rountree only got Delgado at second base, with runners remaining on the corners for Bullock, who was the tying run and somehow got at least a(n unearned) run in with a grounder to Avalos, who could have played it more efficiently to keep Newman at third. Alfaro hit an RBI single past Farias with two down, moving the Coons from two down to one down as Stalker scored. Tovias batted for McGrew in that situation, but flew out to center. Both runs were unearned.

Brotman entered the game in the #8 hole, with Chavez gone and Aponte entering at second base, shifting Stalker to short. Billy faced the opposing pitcher to lead off the bottom 7th, had him at 0-2, then nailed him anyway. Good stuff! Good stuff. Farias singled after Dasher bunted the pitcher to second base, and the single scored an insurance run for Atlanta. Aponte handled two groundouts afterwards to end the inning. On to the ninth, where the Coons had to make up two runs, and Heredia’s leadoff walk to Newman was not a shabby start, at least until Delgado popped out. Nunley batted for Stalker and got nicked, placing the tying runs aboard for … Bullock and Alfaro? The former grounded out, and the latter got no chance – Graves batted for him to counter the right-handed pitcher. He flew to shallow left, and into the final out. 4-2 Knights. Alfaro 2-3, RBI;

In other news

June 20 – SAL MR John Watson (0-2, 7.27 ERA, 5 SV) retires nobody in the bottom of the 10th inning of an 8-8 game against the Stars. Dallas’ Jose Vargas (.298, 3 HR, 21 RBI) hits a leadoff single, after which Watson misplays a bunt and walks two batters, with Brian Marable (.149, 1 HR, 7 RBI) squeezing out the walkoff walk for a 9-8 Stars win.
June 20 – Season over for IND SP Tristan Broun (5-5, 3.27 ERA). The 35-year-old left-hander has been diagnosed with shoulder inflammation.
June 20 – …nor is Broun the only left-handed starter going down for the rest of the season; the Condors lose SP Luis Flores (5-6, 3.53 ERA) to forearm tendinitis. His return in ’23 is highly questionable at least.
June 21 – Scoreless in regulation, the Blue Sox win a 10-inning, 1-0 game over the Buffaloes on C Armando Leal (.298, 4 HR, 28 RBI) going yard as a pinch-hitter in the top of the 10th.
June 22 – TOP LF/RF Alfredo Quintana (.316, 12 HR, 34 RBI) goes deep for the only score in the Buffaloes’ 1-0 win over the Blue Sox – the second consecutive 1-0 game between the two teams.
June 24 – As the Capitals ravage the Gold Sox in a 15-4 blowout, Washington’s Matt Barber (.292, 10 HR, 39 RBI) knocks out five base hits, including two in the 8-run first inning. Barber has one double in his 5-hit basket, and drives in two runs.
June 24 – The Canadiens concede seven runs in the first inning, and seven more along the way to a 14-1 defeat at the hands of the Thunder. OCT SS Lorenzo Rivera (.318, 1 HR, 31 RBI) and RF Ezra Branch (.266, 5 HR, 38 RBI) both drive in four runs in the game.

Complaints and stuff

Let’s see – with Shane Walter to the DL we are mostly down to Nunley, Stevenson, Tovias, and Stalker as far as Opening Day starters are concerned, given that Alfaro does not start regularly anymore, and who the **** is Jon McGrew after all!? Zach Graves is making a nice bid to continue his career, and once Cookie comes back we might just as well demote Alfaro, because he makes me sad.

We are last in OBP, OPS, runs, extra-base hits, homers, and walks drawn. We are second-to-last in slugging; also on the pitching side in homers and walks allowed.

The stories about knife fights in the clubhouse that you may have heard are actually, seriously, totally not true. No, they are not.

…

Well, okay, *somebody* threw a chair at a player, but he *missed*, and it was all talked about afterwards. … At the top of their little lungs. … In the parking lot. … With some skunk from the Agitator shooting photos from behind a parked car.

What a fun time to be alive and involved in Portland baseball!

Next week, Thunder and Titans, so the hole might well only deepen from here. On the bright side, we’re still 8 1/2 games ahead of the circus-style ruckus that is going on in Elkland, so that’s a thought to hold and cherish. Hey, we’re ****, but we’re NOT AS **** AS THEM!! There is in fact a sub-.400 team in every division right now, and I should be careful here given that the Critters to their all to become the fifth team under .400 before the All Star Game.

Fun Fact: The Raccoons reached their all-time pinnacle in total wins over .500 on September 3, 2021 with an Eddie Jackson walkoff home run sending them to a 6-4 win over the Loggers, 12 games over .500 on the season, and 228 games over .500 in team history.

The precise tally at that point? 3,746 wins and 3,518 losses. We have since dropped under the 200 mark in surplus wins and I don’t think we’ll return to it that soon.

I presume this is also the best win percentage the team ever had (.51569), although that is a bit harder to conclusively calculate, although the end of the Coons’ Golden Era, a 108-54 season in 1996, complete with a sour World Series loss to the Rebels, only got them up to .513 in total, thanks to the gloriously rotten early years of the team.

Did I mention that we’re going back to that?