[Westheim]

Raccoons (49-68) vs. Miners (51-67) – August 15-17, 2023

Here were two teams over 20 games out in August that were just hoping to not get hurt a whole lot more in the last 40-some games. The Miners were second from the bottom in offense in the Federal League, and their pitching was barely better than the bottom three, which of course was not a winning mix to begin with. Their run differential was -100, even worse than the Critters’ (-80). The Miners had not won a series from the Raccoons in 11 years, most recently losing two out of three in ’22.

Projected matchups:
Rico Gutierrez (7-7, 3.87 ERA) vs. George Marsh (2-1, 4.15 ERA)
Travis Garrett (3-5, 3.14 ERA) vs. Josh Knupp (8-10, 4.32 ERA)
Jesus Chavez (7-11, 4.09 ERA) vs. Joao Joo (6-10, 3.93 ERA)

Left-right-left for this series. Amazingly, the Miners were terrible without a single former Raccoon in their duty. Plenty of Elks, though…

Game 1
PIT: CF J. Lopez – 1B Keen – LF B. Adams – C Henley – RF Bramlett – SS Becker – 3B Bahner – 2B Rinehart – P Marsh
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Spencer – 1B Walter – RF Newman – 3B Nunley – CF Stevenson – SS Stalker – C Tovias – P Gutierrez

Elias Tovias was the only Critter to reach base the first time through the order, hitting a single to left center and getting stranded. Gutierrez was more on the edge than Marsh, although it was not always his fault. In the second inning, Tim Stalker airmailed a throw on Jeff Becker’s grounder for a 2-base error to start the inning, but the Miners failed to cash in the unearned run after Travis Bahner grounded out to Walter, Jeff Rinehart whiffed, and George Marsh flew out easily. Marsh hit a single in the fifth inning, but was also stranded, and the Coons only got another Tovias single before the end of five. That one came with two outs in the bottom 5th and moved Stalker to second base; Tim had been drilled by a Marsh pitch. Gutierrez struck out though, keeping the game scoreless through five. That changed in the top of the sixth inning with Bill Adams’ leadoff jack to center, his 20th dinger on the year, and that was not even the team lead, which was held by J.J. Henley with 21. One inning later, Bahner drew a 4-pitch walk to begin the inning, and PH Jon Pendergrass singled hard to left. Bahner was run for by Leo Otero once he reached second base, but at least we could claw an out from Marsh, who … singled to right. Bases loaded, nobody out, and Gutierrez was totally sure he could get left-handed batter Jorge Lopez out. Lopez hit a mighty deep sac fly to center, putting the Miners 2-0 ahead, Gutierrez threw a wild pitch, then served up an RBI single to Josh Keen. Next thing everybody knew Kevin Surginer was spewn forth from the bullpen gate, with Adams hitting a sac fly off him to extend their lead to 4-0. By the ninth, three base hits would plate another run charged to Adam Cowen – ultimately all window dressing. The Raccoons never as much as scared George Marsh, who finished a 3-hit shutout on just 95 pitches. 5-0 Miners. Tovias 2-3;

That left-handed thing seemed to work for the Miners. They found another left-hander to nag the Raccoons on Wednesday in swingman Joe Jones (7-10, 4.55 ERA).

Game 2
PIT: CF J. Lopez – SS Becker – LF B. Adams – C Henley – 1B Keen – 2B Rinehart – RF Feldmann – 3B Bahner – P J. Jones
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Spencer – 1B Walter – RF Newman – 3B Nunley – CF Stevenson – SS Stalker – C Delgado – P Garrett

Spencer singled in the first. Walter hit into a double play in the first. Nobody scored in the first. People scored in the second, but that was mostly “Tragic” Travis being on a roll… down a steep embankment, with his tail on fire. Garrett offered a 4-pitch leadoff walk to J.J. Henley which was OH SO AMAZING, then knocked Josh Keen, at which point you could either make it hard on yourself or simply accept having another 5-game losing streak. Rinehart struck out in Elk fashion, but Ryan Feldmann singled to load them up. Travis Bahner grounded back to the mound, with Garrett throwing home for the second out, and then he just had to face the opposing pitcher and get out of – WHY THE ****, Joe Jones hit a single to left center, two 2-out runs scored, and that was that.

On to the fourth, in which “Tragic” Travis employed proven success strategies again and issued another 4-pitch leadoff walk to Henley. This time Rinehart hit a single, Feldmann scored a run with a groundout to the left side, and at that point you had a 3-0 score, Jeff Rinehart on second base and two outs, but with Garrett you can’t even pull up the pitcher with an intentional walk to Bahner. Don’t put extra runs on base! Travis Bahner was thus pitched to, much to his delight, and peppered a 410-footer to right center to race the score to 5-0. And as if I needed prove of there being no joy in life, ever, Garrett then walked the opposing pitcher with two outs… Another walk to Jorge Lopez was the end of Garrett’s outing, but when Cory Dew replaced him he had nothing better to do than to walk Jeff Becker, too. That’s three 2-out walks and the middle of the order coming up! Just before Bill Adams fell just little short of a slam and flew out to Will Newman instead, cameras caught two teenage boys of about 19 and 17 years in the stands who were both wearing matching 2019 Raccoons CL North Champs shirts and classic brown caps and, as they were witnessing the ongoing brutal dissolution of the powerhouse team that they watched compete for trophies as a kid, were both holding on to each other and were dissolved in bitter tears of despair. And so was I.

One of the few vestiges of that dynasty that never was, and that still had his legs under him part-time, finally got the Critters on the board in the fifth. It was mostly an academical motion, but Cookie’s 2-out RBI single to right spelled out that the Coons sucked, but were not going to go down without some noise … besides Matt Nunley operating a popcorn pan in the dugout. Delgado scored on the play, but the inning ended with Spencer grounding out to his opposite keystone guard, Rinehart, keeping the Critters 5-1 behind. They would not get closer than that again… Adam Cowen featured in both the seventh and eighth innings, allowed a run in both of them, including a Feldmann homer. Bottom 8th, Cookie walked, stole second, and was left out there to die. Joe Jones fell one out short of a complete game when Stevenson knocked a single to center on his 110th pitch which the Miners deemed enough. Jayden Reed got Zach Graves to fly out to left to end the game and win the Miners’ their first set over the Coons in more than a decade. 7-1 Miners. Santos (PH) 1-1;

43 more games? Really? It feels like the season has been going on for about as many months!!

There would not be a game on Thursday – rain wiped out our third loss to the Miners before it could occur. Or maybe it was tears. Who knows these things?

Raccoons (49-70) vs. Titans (71-51) – August 18-20, 2023

Up 8-4 against the Coons in ’23, the Titans came into town in second place after a recent losing streak. They were still fourth in runs scored and second in runs allowed in the CL, and we were probably going to take a beating, although one factor in them going 7-8 in August was a rough month in terms of injuries. The Titans were without Alan Farrell, Jamie Wilson, Bill Hebberd, Adrian Reichardt, Adam Braun, and others.

Projected matchups:
Jesus Chavez (7-11, 4.09 ERA) vs. Julio San Pedro (13-7, 3.21 ERA)
Chris McKendrick (5-7, 3.61 ERA) vs. Chris Klein (10-11, 2.91 ERA)
Matt Huf (2-8, 5.13 ERA) vs. Dustin Wingo (1-3, 4.82 ERA)

Unless the Titans would skip the rookie Wingo, he would be the third left-handed opponent for us this week following both Miners starters that actually took the mound.

Game 1
BOS: RF W. Ramos – C Leonard – 1B Herlihy – 2B Kane – 3B R. West – SS Stephens – LF Cornejo – CF Baptiste – P San Pedro
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Claros – RF Graves – 3B Nunley – CF Stevenson – C Tovias – SS Bullock – 1B Santos – P Chavez

The early innings were scoreless, with the Titans getting runners to the corners in the first inning thanks to a leadoff single by Willie Ramos and then Santos’ 2-out error at first base. Rhett West then grounded out, but would belt a ball 375 feet to left in the fourth inning for the game’s maiden run, a solo homer, and only his second long ball in almost 200 at-bats this season. Ramos hit another leadoff single in the fifth inning, stole a base, and this time was brought in to score, extending the Titans’ lead to 2-0. The clump of nothing that was the home team, according to the scoreboard, had three hits by the middle innings, but I’d be damned if I could remember a single one of them, and they sure as hell hadn’t scored any runs.

Chavez lasted 6.1 innings before drilling Keith Leonard for an exit ticket. Kipple retired Trent Herlihy and Mike Kane with strikeouts to get out of that situation. Cory Dew was on the mound in the eighth and he was just a real mess at this point: leadoff walk to West, and then he mishandled Jonathan Stephens’ bunt for an error. Gil Cornejo bunted without interference to move the runners over, but Tristen Baptiste – a player too bad to have even a place on OUR team – struck out and Jose Duran grounded out to keep the runners stranded on second and third. Top 9th, Surginer was in the game and Matt Nunley threw away Ramos’ grounder to put the leadoff man on second base. Alex Arias grounded out, moving the runner to third base, from where Surginer plate him with a wild pitch. Thank heavens for ****ty pitching on the Coons, otherwise I would not have anything to waffle on about! 3-0 Titans. Stevenson 2-3; Santos 1-2, BB; Chavez 6.1 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 6 K, L (7-12);

It’s an odd sample size, but, eh, it’s Friday night, and … and we’ve scored one run this entire week. Damn you, Cookie! Without your RBI on Wednesday we’d be a better punchline! It was even earned!

Game 2
BOS: RF W. Ramos – C Leonard – 1B Herlihy – LF M. Owen – 2B Kane – 3B R. West – SS Stephens – CF Baptiste – P Klein
POR: LF Carmona – 3B Claros – 1B Walter – RF Graves – 2B Spencer – CF Stevenson – SS Stalker – C Tovias – P McKendrick

Nunley had the day off with his new bestest friend pitching (no direct correlation, I swear) and had clear instructions to either shout encouragement from the other side of the railing or just focus on the popcorn pan and the vertical doner kebab rotisserie that he had by now also dragged into the dugout for healthy snacks between innings. Maybe an instructor for a healthy lifestyle was what this team needed?

The Critters had actual scoring opportunities in the early innings, with Jarod Spencer hitting a leadoff double in the second inning, and Cookie and Claros both walking in the third. Nevertheless, none of these were driven in. McKendrick allowed his share of runners, but was not overly awful in the early going, although Raul Claros’ defense at the hot corner was creaky and he was charged with an error in the first inning, and didn’t get to a grounder by Mike Kane in the fourth that everybody in attendance knew Matt Nunley would have gotten to. Kane had a single, but was also left stranded. This roster’s rotten stench returned by the fifth inning, though, in which the Titans went to the top of the order with two outs and nobody on. Three batters later there two outs and three men on, with Ramos walking, Shane Walter’s error putting on Leonard, and then another walk being drawn by Trent Herlihy. Matt Owen ran a full count before knocking the ball in play, grounding out to Stalker and keeping the scoreboard virgin.

Bottom 5th, Tim Stalker led off with a single, then was caught stealing. This would come back to bite the team, since Tovias singled afterwards, and Cookie also reached base with a 2-out single. They would have scored a run somewhere along the way if Stalker had stuck on base, but Claros’ groundout to second base denied them, again. McKendrick was done after six shutout innings, needing over 100 pitches for the effort, but at least him and Nunley were able to gobble up the various foodstuffs in the dugout together without fighting afterwards, and Zach Graves hit a 1-out double in the bottom 6th to present a threat. Spencer grounded out unhelpfully, but Stevenson singled to left center. Not giving a damn about Owen’s arm, Graves made for home and was easily save, the second Coons run of the week! Tim Stalker doubled the output three pitches later with a 2-piece to left center, running the tally to 3-0, to which they added another run in the seventh on Shane Walter’s sac fly that brought home Nunley, who had opened the inning with a pinch-hit single. The Titans were far from defeated though, especially with Tovias’ special invitation in the eighth inning, dropping Surginer’s strike three to Rhett West to give the Titans a free runner on first base anyway. Baptiste would hit a deep fly with two outs, but Stevenson made the catch before things could get out of paw.

Amazingly, the Titans would make a move in the ninth inning despite sending up left-handed batters against Brett Lillis, who was in a 4-0 game because he had not gotten a lot of work in the recent and active 6-game losing streak. Gil Cornejo made an out to begin the inning, but then Ramos doubled to left. Leonard grounded to third base, where Claros made his second error of the game with a terrible throw past Walter, allowing Ramos to score, 4-1. Herlihy walked, and Owen singled off Lillis, loading the bases with the tying runs and only one out on the board. Mike Kane grounded back to the mound for an out at home, after which Lillis ran a full count to Rhett West, who would swing over ball four to end the game. 4-1 Blighters. Stalker 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Nunley (PH) 1-1; McKendrick 6.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 4 BB, 3 K, W (6-7);

What? We won?

Game 3
BOS: RF W. Ramos – C Leonard – 1B Herlihy – LF M. Owen – 2B Kane – 3B R. West – SS Stephens – CF Baptiste – P Wingo
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Spencer – 1B Walter – RF Newman – 3B Nunley – CF Stevenson – SS Stalker – C Delgado – P Huf

Cookie walked, Spencer and Walter singled, three on, no outs in the bottom 1st, aaand… nobody scored. Wingo whiffed Will, then Nunley, and Stevenson flew out to left. While there were also positives, like Huf not walking everybody in plain sight… at least not initially. The Titans got only one walk and no hits the first time through the order, but Huf spilled a leadoff walk to Herlihy in the fourth inning. Matt Owen grounded out, but Kane reached on Walter’s error, and Rhett West singled through between Stalker and Spencer to score the first run of the game, Herlihy. They would be held to that one run. Cookie came in well and caught Jonathan Stephens’ shallow fly, and Baptiste went down swinging to end the inning.

The Critters, struggling to make up one run, would soon enough have to make up three thanks to Huf walking Leonard with two outs in the fifth and then getting utterly bombed by Trent Herlihy with his 18th homer of the season. Huf would not be around for much longer after that, but the Coons twitched in the bottom of the inning. Newman drew a 2-out walk, Nunley singled past Herlihy, and then Stevenson sent a fly into the rightfield corner. Newman scored, Nunley was sent, but thrown out, ending the inning still down 3-1. While patching innings with the pen, the Coons would scratch out another run in the bottom 7th, which saw Cookie single, move up on Spencer’s groundout that erased a stolen base attempt, and then scored on Walter’s single, 3-2. Between Newman and Nunley, Coons would hit the ball a combined negative 11 feet, keeping Walter and the tying run on first base. Enter Raul Claros, who batted or Cory Dew to begin the bottom 8th and rammed a ball past Willie Ramos for a leadoff double. C’MON BOYS!! ****ING KILL THEM NOW!! Tim Stalker grounded out to short, keeping the runner pinned, and that was the end for Wingo, who was replaced by right-hander Javy Salomon, who threw two pitches to Tony Delgado to line up for the loss when Delgado belched a bomb over the fence to flip the score! TWO-RUN HOME RUN, HERE WE COME!! Thank goodness, Brett Lillis had pitched so long and pointlessly the previous day …! Nah, Brett’s good – Cornejo, Chris Almanza, and Arias struck out in order. 4-3 Critters! Walter 3-4, RBI; Stevenson 1-2, BB, 2B, RBI; Claros (PH) 1-1, 2B; Delgado 1-3, HR, 2 RBI;

In other news

August 15 – WAS SS Tom McWhorter (.268, 14 HR, 56 RBI) shoots his 300th career home run, a 2-run home run off Boston’s SP Alberto Molina (11-10, 3.42 ERA) that helps the Capitals win 5-2.
August 15 – The Scorpions will be without C Jaiden “Banshee” Jackson (.273, 15 HR, 72 RBI) for three weeks. The 24-year-old has sustained a strained hamstring.
August 18 – Three different Aces have 4-hit games in a 12-1 drubbing of the Knights. Adam Young (.274, 10 HR, 55 RBI) has two home runs amongst his four hits.
August 20 – IND SP Manny Ortega (5-11, 4.29 ERA) is diagnosed with bone chips in his elbow, ending his season.

Complaints and stuff

While parked under a tree on the roadside on my way home during this week and listening to the radio as the late-evening summer rain splashed down on my windshield, the last station in Portland that still plays good old, honest rock for folks like me living in yesteryear let go of a song I hadn’t heard in decades and wouldn’t have remembered anymore if dared to do so. “We’ve got to run/ while our hearts are filled with desire/ run/ like the streets are on fire/ oh-oh-oh/ we’ve got to run …!”* I unbuckled, left the car and stood outside in the rain for a while until the screaming guitars inside the car subsided, then started to run down the road as fast as I could, as long as I could. Then I trudged back to the car, with stinging pain in the side and soaking wet. You stupid fool! Where are you even going to run to? Desire here, heart there. You have nowhere to go to anymore, but down with this team.

Oh well, maybe I managed to catch pneumonia. Always stay positive. I *do* feel icky.

Thursday’s postponement has been rescheduled for Thursday right next week, wiping out our off day there and creating a stint of 13 straight games starting with the Titans series.

The crying teen boys from Wednesday’s disaster did not elude the Agitator, either, who ran them on the front page on Thursday under the title “COONS MAKE KIDS CRY”. Which I guess is one way to become (in)famous. Over the weekend, Maud’s crew got hold of the two brothers, who are named Ralph and Randy after a pair of mildly successful Raccoons pitchers during those early 2000s we talk about so much in this part and invited them and their family to take in a game during the upcoming Thunder series from a suite.

We are yet waiting for them to call back… it’s that bad. The Coons don’t even make good charity anymore. Maybe we should get them bowling coupons or some other **** that takes place on the other side of town?

Fun Fact: At this time in August 1997, David Brewer bluntly stated to BNN that he couldn’t wait but to get out of Portland, which was the final nail in the funeral of the 1989-1996 dynasty (as if last place, the O-Mo trade, and the 47-71 record hadn’t been hints enough).

Brewer had signed a 6-yr, $9M contract prior to the 1995 season, at that point the richest ever doled out by the Raccoons, and also one of the richest in league history. That the 1997 Raccoons shed 40 wins and dryly descended into the Decade of Darkness was not Brewer’s fault. He batted a steady .323/.412/.441 and scored 96 runs, which was as much as we would dare to ask him. In his three years in Portland, Brewer always made the All Star team (his last All Star nods despite him leaving at age 29) and won a batting title along with the Player of the Year trophy in ’95. Always injury-prone, his body was eaten up at a rapid pace as soon as he ventured onto the wrong side of 30, and while he had collected 6+ WAR *despite* injuries for seven straight years from ’91 through ’97, he would never come close to that mark again.

He entered the Hall of Fame as an Elk in 2011, having spent the first seven years of his career with them. Overall he batted .325 with 86 homers and 955 RBI, and also stole 162 bases. He piled up 2,529 base hits and walked almost 1,000 times. His lone World Series ring came with the Titans in 2004, a year in which he barely started more games than his age (36).

And what did the Coons trade him for? To the Condors for Randy Farley, Clyde Brady, and Chris Parker. So there’s half of the crying boys’ above, the Avatar of Losing, and player on a power position that outran a .700 OPS just six times in his career, and only three times in a qualifying season, but still managed to play for 16 years in the Bigs.

*Benny Mardones – We’ve Got To Run, which I stumbled across on Youtube actually this week and which I can’t stop listening to, especially while being tortured by the Furballs.