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Old 04-05-2018, 07:55 AM   #10
Zorro
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,944
Quote:
Originally Posted by Silfir View Post
I'm as meek a person as you'll ever meet. I try to see the best in people, it doesn't occur to me to willfully do any harm to anyone, I dislike horror movies and I prefer baseball management and other simulation games infinitely to violent first person shooters any day of the week. There is never a moment where I wish I could blow up another living human being's organs by force-feeding them remote-controlled grenades.

When I play RPGs like Dragon Age: Origins or pretty much anything that gives me a choice in how to act, I always pick the "good guy" option. I understand that many people like to roleplay the bad guy - personally I've never in my life felt an urge to do so. It's just not in my nature - there is no appeal to it. I want to be nice to people. I do not want to murder them with a rusty carving knife while they're asleep at all.

All of this was true, until the day that I met this... let's go with "person" for now:



I want to invent a new way of murdering people just so I can do it to him. Just the notion that his current mood is "Happy" is an affront that will rob me of sleep for the rest of the week.

Why? I suppose you've never had the pleasure of dealing with an "Interfering" personality before. Here's sodding why:



You're literally paying me to figure out what's important and what isn't, you insufferable cretin. When I need you to negotiate a two-year extension for a 38-year-old centerfielder that could fall off a cliff any second I'll consult you personally.

Before this there were $10 million open for next year's contracts, and I was already trying to deal with all the other extensions you decided to sign without consulting me. Now there's nothing - actually, that's not true. If I figure out how to free $14 million from the budget - then I get to have nothing.

It's the last straw. There's the elite reliever I gave a one-year contract to before the season began that you decided to give a two-year extension to before he threw a single pitch. Or the shortstop that you decided to give three seasons of almost $20 million to even as I was in the middle of negotiations with his much more skilled replacement.

As these situations pile up, I'm struck with the certainty that I literally cannot wait for you to die in a fire. If the game gave me the option, I would personally imprison you in a crematorium, dial it up to "extra crispy" and smile as the skin melts from your face.



Anyway, OOTP 19 is 11/10 as usual. Wouldn't change a thing!
That is toooo funny.............Z
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