[Westheim]

Raccoons (52-53) @ Bayhawks (47-58) – July 29-31, 2024

The Raccoons travelled to the Bay to meet up with the team with the worst offense in the league. The Bayhawks were struggling to score even 3.6 runs per game, and had a pathetic team batting average of .233 – not exactly playoff material. Their pitching was decent, but decent wasn't gonna win them any rings. The Coons had already claimed the season series, having taken five of the first six games from them this year.

Projected matchups:
Rico Gutierrez (11-4, 2.90 ERA) vs. Brian Simmons (12-6, 3.26 ERA)
Jack Sander (6-5, 4.14 ERA) vs. Rodolfo Cervantes (5-7, 3.55 ERA)
Dan Delgadillo (7-6, 3.59 ERA) vs. Denzel Durr (4-8, 4.54 ERA)

Southpaw to start the week, then two right-handers – starters' handedness would match for all three games in the series. There was nobody on the DL for the Bayhawks. No, not even Dave Garcia, who had only missed 17 games so far this season. His five-year average was to miss 62 games per year. Pray for his soul – he was batting .278 with 14 homers and had a shot for a decent season.

Game 1
POR: 2B Spencer – CF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – LF Kopp – C Delgado – 3B Nunley – SS Stalker – RF Alfaro – P Gutierrez
SFB: RF R. Gomez – 3B Booker – CF D. Garcia – 1B Metzger – 2B Gilbert – LF R. Allen – C O'Dell – SS Pick – P Simmons

Despite runners in scoring position and nobody out, the Coons scored only once in the first inning. Following Jarod Spencer's leadoff triple and Abel Mora walking and stealing second base, Jon Gonzalez struck out, Terry Kopp hit a sac fly, and Tony Delgado was retired on a foul pop. Spencer drove in two in the following inning, doubling into the gap in left-center to collect Stalker and Alfaro for a quick 3-0 lead, but Gutierrez sure looked like he needed the extra comfort. The Bayhawks didn't score off him early, which was quite a bit the park's fault and also Abel Mora covering several acres in centerfield to rob them of several extra-base hits. San Francisco had two singles between the first three innings, and two more in the fourth inning. With Jon Gilbert and Roger Allen were aboard with two outs (although Dave Garcia had singled to begin the inning, being forced out in the progress of the inning), Brett O'Dell sent another deep drive to the far remotes of centerfield, and Abel Mora would have that one, too. Garcia had two aboard with two outs in the fifth, but Rafael Gomez and Jaden Booker would also be denied crossing home plate, being sent back to their dugout by Nunley's quick paws and a laser throw to first base to beat Garcia by a step.

And here were all those Bayhawks, who had Gutierrez on the brink of collapsing, and they just couldn't get the ball to fall in or – better – get the **** outta here, and then came Jarod Spencer with one out in the seventh inning, ripped away at some junk by Simmons, and hurled it over the fence in leftfield. The opposing team was just as stunned as Spencer's team was, while wee Jarod was circling the bases, now a single shy of the cycle. Befuddled, Simmons coughed up another walk, two singles, and two runs to the middle of the order before fellow left-hander Fernando Cruz restored order, now in a 5-0 game. The bottom 7th saw the Bayhawks actually with an extra-base hit off Rico Gutierrez – 27-year-old Jon Nieto hit a double to right … in his first career at-bat. So, that was a thing… Following Rafael Gomez' RBI single, Gutierrez was hauled in, with Ryan Corkum taking over and getting out of the inning before the Bayhawks got any closer. The Raccoons failed to score in the eighth, with Spencer's grounder up the middle viciously intercepted and taken for an out by Pat Pick, denying Spencer his probably only shot at a cycle. O'Dell and Jon Gonzalez traded solo shots in the bottom 8th and top 9th, bringing the Coons into the bottom 9th with a 4-run lead, and thus not to Jonathan Snyder. Instead, Brett Lillis appeared, walking the left-hander Victor Sarabia to begin the inning, and then fell 3-0 to Gomez before the rightfielder imprudently poked and grounded to Tim Stalker. The Coons only got the force on Sarabia on the play, but they got the double play on the next, Jaden Booker's grounder to the mound. 6-2 Raccoons. Spencer 3-5, HR, 3B, 2B, 3 RBI; Gonzalez 2-5, HR, RBI; Nunley 2-3, BB; Alfaro 2-3, BB; Bullock 1-1; Gutierrez 6.1 IP, 8 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 2 K, W (12-4);

With this W, the Coons were back at .500 and had won three in a row, but were still roughly a handful away from the division leaders.

Game 2
POR: CF Mora – 2B Walter – 3B Nunley – 1B Gonzalez – RF Kopp – C Tovias – SS Stalker – LF Carmona – P Sander
SFB: 3B Booker – C O'Dell – CF D. Garcia – RF R. Gomez – 1B Metzger – LF R. Allen – 2B Gilbert – SS Pick – P Cervantes

Offense was slow to begin with, as the Coons had only one base hit in the first three innings, while the Bayhawks had three, including singles by Cervantes (…) and O'Dell in the bottom 3rd. Jack Sander, the genius, balked them into scoring position as he faced Dave Garcia with two outs, who thankfully grounded out to a competent defender – Stalker in this case – to end the inning. The game's first run wasn't scored until the fourth, Terry Kopp hitting a double past Garcia, then scoring on Elias Tovias' single to center. Tovias' 2-out clutch hit was just what the guy needed in a prolonged slump!

Cookie Carmona's prolonged slump was now roughly 16 months old, but he occasionally would do something good still, like lining lowly to center in lead off the fifth. Dave Garcia tried he had that one cover, but didn't quite, and instead of playing it safe he managed to play it into Cookie's 105th career triple, 18th on the all-time list. Jack Sander blooped a single into shallow left to plate him, 2-0, making him responsible for half the team's RBI, but through five the opposing pitcher would also be responsible for half his team's hits, landing another single off Sander, upping the Bayhawks' total to four. Getting more offense out of the Raccoons was hard here, as they hit into double plays in the fifth and sixth innings, and Tim Stalker got on, but was caught stealing in the seventh, which was also the inning that saw Austin Metzger cut the lead in half with a solo jack to right. That was still more or less the only hard ball ever hit off Sander in the game. He lasted eight innings in the 2-1 contest, until Omar Alfaro hit for him in the ninth inning. This saw the maybe-still-future of the franchise up against left-hander Danny Munos with two outs, with Elias Tovias and PH Jarod Spencer having singled. Alfaro hit away at a 3-1 pitch, hit it a ton, deep to right, but … ah, deep right in Portland would have long run out when Rafael Gomez caught up with the ball. Alfaro was retired, and the inning was over. Snyder had no cushion in the bottom of the inning, but retired the middle of the order on two grounders and K to the evil Metzger to give the Coons a winning record again. 2-1 Furballs! Kopp 2-4, 2B; Tovias 2-4, RBI; Spencer (PH) 1-1; Sander 8.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 5 K, W (7-5) and 1-3, RBI;

Game 3
POR: 2B Walter – SS Stalker – 3B Nunley – 1B Gonzalez – CF Kopp – C Tovias – RF Alfaro – LF Carmona – P Delgadillo
SFB: 3B Booker – C O'Dell – CF D. Garcia – RF R. Gomez – 1B Metzger – 2B Gilbert – LF A. Alvarez – SS Pick – P Durr

San Francisco struck first in this one, plating a run on hits by Booker and Garcia in the first. The Raccoons were still hitless when they had the bases loaded with nobody out in the third inning. After retiring six straight to begin the ballgame, Denzel Durr had walked both Alfaro and Cookie, firing only one strike between them, and then Jaden Booker tried to be cocky and take Delgadillo's bunt to third base for a forceout, but got beaten to the bag by Alfaro. This loaded the bags for Shane Walter, who rammed an innocent 2-1 pitch to right and through between Gilbert and Metzger to turn the score into the same, 2-1, with Alfaro and Cookie both scoring on the play. Stalker grounded into a force at second, but the bases were refilled when Nunley walked, just in time for the middle of the order to work some magic. Boy, that would have been nice. Both Gonzalez and Tovias hit deep drives to right. Both were denied by Gomez controlling all of the territory out there that – I heard – had been designated another 800 square mile national park while the Coons had been in town. Gonzalez' was worth a sac fly, but Tovias' was nothing, coming after Terry Kopp's 2-out walk had refilled the bases.

The Bayhawks were more efficient with their runners, and then again, they weren't. They would out-hit the Coons 5-1 through three innings, but trail 3-2. They had two hits in the bottom 3rd, with Garcia chipping in an RBI double, seemingly determined to not let the Coons get away with a series sweep. The Coons also didn't overdo it on the base hits, keeping limited to their one Walter single for a while longer, while Durr hit a leadoff single in the bottom 5th, but eventually O'Dell hit into a double play to help Delgadillo push through that inconvenient development. He didn't get through Metzger in the sixth, though. With two outs, Metzger butchered* a fastball and tied the game on a home run to right, the score now even at three.

The bases would be loaded again in the eighth inning, and again the Raccoons offered the minimum amount of base hits, a 1-out Gonzalez double into right-center, followed by an intentional walk to Kopp, and then Manny Sosa's not-so-intentional walk to Tovias. That put Alfaro into the spotlight – and it was more exploiting the weak infield defense by the Bayhawks then anything else, but he got an RBI single into rightfield as everybody shuffled on 90 feet with the go-ahead run scoring. Cookie blooped another RBI single, 5-3, and here was a terrific spot to send Abel Mora to interrupt his lazy off day to do some harm in Delgadillo's spot. Harm he did more to his own team by striking out, and Walter popped out, keeping the gap at two runs, which was not a problem for Corkum, who kept the Baybirds to seven pitches and no runners in the bottom 8th. They would amount to nine pitches from Snyder in the ninth, but were retired nevertheless in order. 5-3 Raccoons. Alfaro 1-2, 2 BB, RBI; Delgadillo 7.0 IP, 7 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 0 BB, 4 K, W (8-6);

That was it for July, which the Raccoons ended at 16-10, and in pursuit of the Crusaders and Titans. There were no further moves to report for this team. Adding Corkum, Snyder, Kopp, and technically Sander had to suffice.

We won the season series from the Bayhawks, 8-1, which is the first time we dropped only one against them since 2018, and the first time of going 8-1 against any CL South team since 2019, when we held the Knights to a token triumph.

I think you will notice that both those seasons saw the Coons win the division. Just sayin'.

Raccoons (55-53) vs. Canadiens (45-61) – August 1-4, 2024

Sixth in runs scored, second from the bottom in runs allowed, and definitely at the very bottom in charme and appeal, the Elks still held a 4-3 edge against Portland this season, which was something that urgently had to be rectified. You had to get them early though – while their rotation was running an ERA of 4.82, worst in the CL, their pen was actually rather solid with a 3.42 ERA, fourth in the CL.

Projected matchups:
Jesus Chavez (6-11, 3.89 ERA) vs. Mario Aragon (3-8, 5.23 ERA)
Mark Roberts (7-7, 3.34 ERA) vs. TBD
Rico Gutierrez (12-4, 2.83 ERA) vs. Mo Robinson (8-10, 4.43 ERA)
Jack Sander (7-5, 3.93 ERA) vs. Greg Becker (8-11, 5.39 ERA)

Injuries to Emmanuel Castaneda and Blaine Barnard had left the Elks' rotation a mess, and they would at least start the series with a guy going on short rest. After that, it was anybody's guess. Becker will be a southpaw, and so far I was not seeing another one approaching. Saturday and Sunday would be the regular turn for both Robinson and Becker. They would probably move reliever Andy Purdy (1-0, 3.21 ERA) to the rotation, but he had thrown 32 pitches as recently as Tuesday.

Game 1
VAN: 3B Jon. Morales – 2B Gura – LF A. Torres – CF Coca – RF Chaplin – SS Calfee – C Tanzillo – 1B Hargraves – P Aragon
POR: CF Mora – 2B Spencer – 3B Nunley – 1B Gonzalez – LF Kopp – C Tovias – RF Alfaro – SS Bullock – P Chavez

Conquering the centerfield fence in the second, Terry Kopp became a member of the homered-at-least-once-as-a-Coon club and also put his team ahead 1-0 in the process. There was a run per inning for a bit there, with Gonzalez contributing a sac fly for his 70th RBI in the third, and Aragon plating Tovias with a wild pitch in the fourth inning. There was also some idiocy; Kopp in the third, and Spencer in the fourth both made the final out popping up a 3-0 pitch.

At least Chavez was dealing, until he didn't. He allowed one Elk to reach base in the first four innings, Ted Gura – twice. Gura singled in the first, was hit in the third, never scored, but it was Chavez, so bad things were going to happen eventually. Curtis Hargraves' 1-out single in the fifth was in itself not a huge problem, but the screaming line drive homer that Jonathan Morales blasted into the leftfield stands that actually sent fans scattering and that cut the lead to 3-2, surely was. The Coons would once more get a single run in the fifth, Jon Gonzalez doing the honors with his 22nd roundtripper, while Chavez was on fire after the Morales homer, struck out almost everybody into the seventh, but then walked Chris Tanzillo with one out. Hargraves hit into a force, but with left-hander Elijah Luckett pinch-hitting, the Coons went to the pen. A 4-pitch walk doled out by Kipple put the tying run aboard, and Morales singled off Vince D to load the bases before Gura struck out to strand a full set. The Elks were also in their pen by the seventh, where they sent debutee southpaw Antonio Muniz against the top of the order. Abel Mora hit a leadoff double and Jarod Spencer was walked intentionally to get Nunley to hit into a double play. Matt refused the invitation, singled to right, and now the Coons had three on and nobody out. Gonzalez struck out, Kopp hit into a double play, and there was just no reasoning with these batters, ever… At least the pen held up; Devereaux and Lillis got seven outs between them from eight batters, and that extended the winning streak to six. 4-2 Raccoons. Spencer 2-3, BB; Tovias 2-4; Alfaro 2-4; Chavez 6.2 IP, 3 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 11 K, W (7-11) and 1-3; Lillis 1.1 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 0 K, SV (14);

Game 2
VAN: 3B Jon. Morales – 1B Gura – LF A. Torres – CF Coca – SS Calfee – C Holliman – RF Chaplin – 2B Wise – P Mo Robinson
POR: CF Mora – 2B Spencer – 3B Nunley – 1B Gonzalez – RF Kopp – C Tovias – SS Stalker – LF Carmona – P Roberts

Jonathan Morales dropped a bunt and legged it out to open the game with an infield single, which was such a girlish way to play… He would steal second, but Roberts struck out Gura, Alex Torres, and Tony Coca in order to sit down the stinking Elks in the first. Roberts allowed three hits and struck out four in a laborious first run through the lineup, while the top three in the order ripped three hard balls off Roberts in the third. Morales and Gura were denied, but Torres parked one in the leftfield stands, which was the first run of the game. Jon Gonzalez hit another solo dinger to lead off the bottom 4th to tie the score, but the stuff had now eluded Roberts and the Elks were hitting balls hard. Alex Torres drew a leadoff walk in the sixth, Tony Coca hit a ball hard to center that was caught, and John Calfee hit a ball hard to left that could not be caught by Cookie, because it was eight rows deep and gave the Elks a new 3-1 lead. Torres jacked another home run in the eighth, hitting one off Jimmy Lee in Lee's first and still ill-advised outing of the week that also saw Ryan Holliman blast one outta here with two outs in the inning, moving the Elks four ahead. It took the Coons to the bottom 8th to mount any kind of charge, with Abel Mora drawing a walk from Robinson, who then allowed a single to Spencer. The tying run was still not at the plate, there was one out, and Nunley was up, so this one could be over quickly. Matt knocked one sharply at Morales, who MISSED it, and Nunley had an RBI double off the tarp in foul ground, with Spencer turning third at first before scrambling back because the Elks were well in position to make a play on him at the plate. Jon Gonzalez flew to deep right, but was denied by Mike Chaplin, and the sac fly was no noticeable improvement right now. Kopp also flew out to right, ending the inning.

The Elks loaded the bases against Corkum in the ninth, with Vince D replacing him and Nunley saving Corkum's ERA by barehanding Tony Coca's 1-2 roller in his general direction for a bang-bang third out at first base, but the Coons still needed two runs to tie from the bottom of the order - … well, one after Elias Tovias' leadoff jack against J.R. Hreha, who had a walk issue. While nobody walked in the near future, and Stalker lined out to Morales, the winning run got on base with one out, Hreha hitting Cookie (evoking fierce booing from the stands), and allowing a single to Shane Walter, who had stuck in the #9 hole after pinch-hitting for Roberts earlier. An Abel Mora swipe would be very welcome now, but he bounced back to the mound, with Hreha getting Walter forced out. Omar Alfaro pinch-hit now in the new pitcher's spot, with the tying and winning runs on the corners. The count ran full, Alfaro put one in play to right, Wise lunging, MISSING, and Cookie came in with the tying run!! Loss avoided! Mora went to third on the single, bringing up Nunley, who unfortunately popped out. Bottom 10th, Gonzalez singled to get going, and Tovias walked after Kopp popped out. Daniel Bullock came out to run for Gonzalez now, because he would quite reliably score on a single. This didn't become a thing, though, with both Stalker and Cookie grounding out to first, stranding the runners in scoring position. Bullock was starved at third base again in the 12th, and in between a poor bunt by Brett Lillis, who pitched three scoreless, killed the 11th. For a change, the Elks also left their guy on third base in the 13th, David Kipple allowing a leadoff double to Ehren Wise, who never got around to score as Norman Day grounded out, Morales whiffed, and Ted Gura flew out to Cookie. Kipple gained entry to the Book of Infamy in the 14th inning, allowing a leadoff jack to Alex Torres, which everybody capable of counting to three would recognize as Torres' third homer in the game, and 18th this year. Coons went down in order. 6-5 Canadiens. Alfaro (PH) 1-1, RBI; Gonzalez 3-4, HR, 2 RBI; Tovias 2-5, BB, RBI; Walter 2-4; Lillis 3.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 3 K;

(pours liquid from a small bottle with a label displaying a skull into a cup)

**** the Elks.

I ain't got more to say.

Saturday brought rain / my tears, and no game could be played in Portland. A double header was scheduled for Sunday.

Game 3
VAN: 3B Jon. Morales – 1B Gura – LF A. Torres – CF Coca – SS Calfee – C Holliman – RF Chaplin – 2B Ra. Mendez – P Purdy
POR: CF Mora – LF Spencer – 2B Walter – 1B Gonzalez – RF Kopp – 3B Nunley – C Tovias – SS Bullock – P Gutierrez

Rico was on a 4-game winning streak and had not been defeated in his last seven outings, and the only time he had faced Vancouver this year had seen the Coons score 17, so there was some hope attached to this start. Trouble thus was guaranteed – in this case Rico Gutierrez lasting two thirds of an inning before leaving the game with a shoulder injury. Shock all around, then Jimmy Lee entered as reliever, cocked up a 2-run homer to his first batter, Coca, which led to more shock all around. The Raccoons were all but doomed.

The bottom of the first saw the bases loaded on a Spencer double, Walter walking, and Gonzalez hitting a single to left, and then they died again. Kopp's grounder to first scored a run; Nunley's fly to right didn't. While the Coons managed to make Lee last through four innings at least, that also gave him ample time to surrender another homer to Raul Mendez. In the fourth (Gonzalez, Kopp) and sixth (Kopp, Nunley) the Coons put two runners aboard, but the never got any of them across, as usual. Nope, it was all going to hell at an accelerated pace. The Elks scored two runs off Devereaux, including a Holliman homer, in Vince's three innings of work, and this was all a terrible waste of perfectly good pitching, as was having them on the Raccoons at all, a team destined to fail and fail and fail and fail and fail even more miserably than ever before. They got two more runs off Kipple in the ninth, one of those unearned because Tovias threw away the ball when John Calfee was trying to steal third base, allowing him easy access to home plate, and the other one a homer by Tony Coca. The Coons had nothing, absolutely nothing, and never again would have anything at all. Andy Purdy, the makeshift spot starter, pitched into the ninth and was only evicted by rain, with the braindead umpires deciding to sit out an hourlong rain delay with one team up by six and the other team obviously slumped over the ropes. 7-1 Canadiens. Spencer 2-4, 2B; Nunley 2-4;

Five pitches. Rico threw five pitches.

Everything is over.

Game 4
VAN: 3B Jon. Morales – 2B Gura – LF A. Torres – CF Coca – RF Chaplin – SS Calfee – C Tanzillo – 1B Hargraves – P Becker
POR: 2B Spencer – SS Stalker – CF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – C Delgado – 3B Nunley – RF Alfaro – LF Carmona – P Sander

The park as a whole and my eyes in particular were soaking wet, but the night sky was clear and the umpires were insisting on conducting game four, where the Raccoons needed Jack Sander to go at least six innings, else total collapse in the bullpen would doubtlessly occur. Jonathan Morales singled on the very first pitch, Ted Gura homered on a 2-2, and I kinda didn't want to live anymore. The Raccoons had their leadoff men on base in the first and second innings, and grounded into double plays both times, and had another leadoff batter on base in the third in Cookie, and this time Sander popped up a bunt and they kept grounding to short even after that. Speaking of Sander, the miserable cuck, he allowed a leadoff walk to damn Alex Torres in the fourth, got smoked for an RBI triple by Coca, 3-0, and then got two outs from Chaplin and Calfee without Coca getting across, and then BALKED him in, the miserable cuck. Through four innings, the Elks had four base runners, and all four scored.

That wasn't ugly enough of course. Sander dragged his spineless body into the seventh inning, allowing base hits to Chris Tanzillo, Jonathan Morales, and Ted Gura, which extended the lead to 5-0 with runners on the corners and two outs when Sander's 96th pitch rode up and in and drilled Alex Torres in the upper arm. Torres had a hunch where that one was coming from, hurled away bat and helmet and charged the mound with his most fervent "GERONIMOOO" that he could muster. Some good ol' Elk clobbering was just what this team had waited for and the dugouts immediately emptied and all the players ended up in a huge pile in the middle of the diamond in the mother of all brawls. Sander got clocked in the chin at least once, and Matt Nunley sniffed a half-eaten candy bar in Jonathan Morales' back pocket and in trying to claw it out of there, ripped Morales' pants clean off, exposing him in his My Little Pony boxershorts.

When the dust settled, Sander and Torres were both forcefully ejected, Morales was supplied with replacement pants, and the bases were drunk – and so was I – with two outs. Ryan Corkum got Tony Coca to foul out, but that still left the Coons down by five runs, which was two-and-a-half times as many base hits as the Coons had. Gonzalez added a 1-out single to the paltry total in the bottom 7th, and Tony Delgado added another double play. More runners in the bottom 8th, their apparitions looking fleeting and in vain when Terry Kopp batted with two on and one out and popping out to shallow left. Spencer walked to fill the bases for Tim Stalker, who hadn't had a sound hit in a few moons, but here ran into a brain fart of Greg Becker that hung in the middle of the plate and was easily exploited. Deep left, forget it – GRAAAAAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMM!!!!

That … still left the team a run short, though. Jonathan Snyder allowed two hits in the ninth, got around those with strikeouts against Day and Coca, but the pen was now mostly deserted except for Lillis, who had thrown three innings in vain on Friday. The Coons had gotten Mora and Delgado aboard in the eighth before Delgado had flown out to left, so it was the 6-7-8 batters up against Hreha now in the ninth. One to tie (please no), two to win (please yes). Nunley hit a leadoff single to left, and Omar Alfaro got clear signs from the dugout that the only valid hit was one over the fence. He flew out to Day in left. Cookie flew out to right. Kopp struck out. 5-4 Canadiens. Gonzalez 2-4;

Now that I am bleeding from the mouth, I wonder if there is any point to consult the Druid or whether it is better to hope that it doesn't stop if unattended.

In other news

August 2 – Thrice is nice: besides Alex Torres in Portland, Boston's Adam Braun (.329, 9 HR, 34 RBI) also knocks three home runs on Friday, sinking the Indians with 6 RBI in a 9-1 rout.
August 2 – SFW C Mike Thompson (.207, 6 HR, 40 RBI) ends the Warriors' home game against the Gold Sox with an 11th-inning walkoff grand slam off Tony Harrell (3-3, 4.30 ERA, 6 SV), giving Sioux Falls an 8-4 win.

Complaints and stuff

I herewith begrudgingly acknowledge that Alex Torres is the third Elk to hit three home runs in one game after Luis Arroyo (1994) and ****ing Ray Gilbert (2016), and none of the other two did it against the Raccoons and NOW I NEVER WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN.

The Raccoons are reduced to three starting pitchers with Gutierrez injured and Sander suspended for nine games. Next week we'll have an off day on Thursday, so until then we have Delgadillo, Chavez, and Roberts lined up, but nobody's got much of a clue about who's gonna pitch on the weekend so far, and well, maybe it would be best to dissolve the entire franchise in acid before the weekend even rolls around, or the Titans come to town on Monday.

I still think it was worth it telling Sander to bean Torres. (Did I just admit to that?) The ****ing skunks drilled 11 homers in this ****ing series, and somebody had to take a ****ing stand!

Or we could just try to pitch like actual baseball players.

(sigh)

Now, where is the bottle with that poison again…

Fun Fact: While there have been only 45 instances of a batter hitting three home runs in one game in ABL history, Friday was not the first time that the deed was done twice on the same day. On May 8, 2014, Jamie Wilson of the Warriors and Gil Rockwell of the Knights both went yard thrice.

Wilson's Warriors won, while Rockwell's Knights didn't. The Coons were not involved, but still have been on the receiving end seven times, including three times this decade (MIL Chris LeMoine, 2020 and TIJ Pat Sanford, 2024).

The Rockwell one is especially infuriating even now. Did he ever even hit three in a month in Portland!?

+++

*Metzger means butcher in German, so this was a pun for like two people, including me.