[Westheim]

Well, well, well – look who's on TV! The infernal ****show!

Raccoons (71-48) vs. Capitals (65-54) – August 16-18, 2027

Despite having won six fewer games than the Critters, the Capitals were only half as far out in their division as these two second-place teams clashed in Portland starting on Monday. Washington was fifth in runs scored, third in runs allowed, and with the Coons' standing eroding, by now even had the better run differential, +95 to the Coons' +89. These teams had last met in 2025, when the Capitals had won two of three games. The Raccoons had not won a series from them since 2020, a.k.a. the year Nick Lester got the ball in extra innings in game #164.

Projected matchups:
George James (4-1, 2.33 ERA) vs. Eric Williams (12-4, 2.44 ERA)
Juan Barzaga (0-0) vs. Graham Wasserman (8-8, 4.58 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (9-9, 3.89 ERA) vs. Jorge Beltran (12-2, 1.92 ERA)

Barzaga, 31, had appeared in 33 games for the Raccoons over the years, all in relief. He had spent all year starting games in St. Petersburg to a 4.18 ERA, which would translate into whatever in Portland. He was promoted to the major leagues on Monday at the expense of Steve Costilow. The Raccoons would face a left-hander on Monday, then two righties.

Game 1
WAS: 3B E. Trevino – 1B Barber – C Lessman – SS Menth – RF Tachibana – CF Houghtaling – LF J. Williams – 2B Givens – P E. Williams
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – RF Gomez – 1B Harenberg – LF Hereford – CF Magallanes – C Rocha – 3B Nunley – P James

Leading off for Washington was Enrique Trevino, who had already reached 60 stolen bases and was zoning in on the ABL single-season record, and while he didn't get a sack off the Coons in the early going, he scored the run to tie the game at two in the top of the third inning, a frame that had started with a Travis Givens bunt single, a sac bunt by Williams, and then came Trevino and hit an RBI single to center. Magallanes attempted to get Givens at home, didn't, and Trevino moved into scoring position, from where Matt Barber cashed him with a single. The Coons originally had plated two in the first inning, fueled by Ramos' single and Stalker's double to begin their efforts, then a sac fly by Gomez and a run-scoring groundout by Harenberg – what prowess! Those two struck out the next time around, and the fifth inning then saw the game get away from James, but it was his own fault, spilling a leadoff single to Eric Williams, the opposing pitcher. Trevino bunted him to second – good job by Nunley to keep that one from becoming another single, too – and Barber plated the run with another RBI single to left-center. That score moved to 4-2 in the next inning on a solo shot by ex-Crusader Jake Williams, but the Coons squealed and tied the score in the bottom of the inning. Harenberg hit a 1-out double to center, Juan Magallanes doubled up the leftfield line to cut the gap in half, then scored on Daniel Rocha's single to center to get the team even. And what did James do in the seventh? Give up a leadoff DOUBLE to the pitcher. Yes, actually. Trevino singled, putting them on the corners, and Barber popped out to Alberto Ramos, at which point the ball was handed to Josh Boles, who, frankly, failed. Trevino scooped second for #61, but Boles walked David Lessman anyway before allowing a 2-run single to Dave Menth. After that, Tsuneyoshi Tachibana popped out and Jeremy Houghtaling whiffed. The Coons had Greg Borg and Tim Stalker reach base in the bottom 7th, but there was that middling middle of the order again, and the runners were stranded. That was the last chance they got to waste in this opener… 6-4 Capitals. Ramos 2-5, 2B; Magallanes 2-4, 2B, RBI; Rocha 2-4, 2B, RBI; Borg (PH) 1-1;

Game 2
WAS: 3B E. Trevino – 1B Barber – C Lessman – SS Menth – RF Tachibana – CF Houghtaling – LF J. Williams – 2B Givens – P Wasserman
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – RF Hereford – 1B Harenberg – CF Mora – LF Spencer – C Tovias – 3B Nunley – P Barzaga

The Capitals stranded pairs of runners in the first two innings, but the Coons were not idle in messing up, either. Abel Mora reached on a throwing error by Dave Menth in the bottom 2nd, they were on the corners after a Jarod Spencer single, and then Elias Tovias chucked into a double play to end the inning. But they did take a lead in the bottom 3rd, although they insisted on pretending they wouldn't. Matt Nunley hit a leadoff single to right, then was bunted over by Barzaga. Ramos hit an infield single to get them to the corners, then swiped his 37th base of the season. In this sweet spot, Tim Stalker grounded back to the mound, keeping the runners pinned in scoring position while Wasserman, the former Coons farmhand, then a proper Raccoon a decade later, got the second out. He would have gotten the third, too, from Rich Hereford, if Trevino at third had leapt an inch higher to catch his looper. He didn't; it was in for a single, and scored two before Harenberg struck out.

This put the focus on Barzaga, who came to the plate with Mora and Nunley on the corners and two down in the bottom 4th and casually put a ball in the gap for an RBI double, extending his own lead to 3-0. It was the 31-year-old's first career hit, first career RBI, in his third career at-bat. Ramos flew out to left to end the inning, and then the Capitals broke through against Barzaga, who put Trevino on in the top 5th, then was taken well outta the park to right-center by David Lessman to cut the score to 3-2. And they gained more momentum the following inning. Jake Williams doubled, Travis Givens singled, and after a bunt they were in scoring position with two outs. The Coons blinked and sent Kevin Surginer to face the switch-hitter Trevino, but the leadoff man turned on a 2-2 pitch and rocked it sharply into left past a futilely diving Ramos. Both runners scored, the Coons were in the bin again, 4-3. Barber struck out to end the inning.

The loss would not stick to Barzaga, because the Coons again managd to tie the game at four by the bottom 7th. Ramos drew a leadoff walk from Wasserman, and didn't even have to do anything dicey to get into scoring position once Lessman lost a 2-1 pitch for a passed ball. Tim Stalker singled one pitch later, plating Ramos easily to tie it up, 4-4. The Coons used Brotman, Snyder, and Kearney to keep the game tied through regulation, giving them a walkoff chance with Cookie batting in the ninth spot in the ninth inning against righty Ivan Morales with a 4.30 ERA. Cookie ran a full count, leading me to contemplate whether you would bunt with Ramos in that situation, but the need never arose, because Cookie put the 3-2 in play and into the gap. It got through between Tachibana and Houghtaling and the old man raced all the way to third base with a leadoff triple! And there the ****ers left him. Ramos grounded out weakly in a 3-0 count – you stupid, STUPID kid! – Stalker was walked intentionally, Hereford struck out, and Gonzalez rolled one over to Menth. Extra innings. (resigned groan)

The Capitals put Tachibana and Houghtaling aboard against Kearney in the top 10th before Dan McLin watched as the Capitals pulled the protective foil off Mike Bednarski's not well decomposing body for whatever reason, and he kept being as unclutch as he had been during the Great Depression, flying out easily to Rafael Gomez. Givens then grounded out. Lessman hit a 2-run homer off Ricky Ohl in the top 11th before the Coons put Cookie and Ramos on the corners with two 1-out hits in the bottom of the inning. Tim Stalker was now the winning run, but remember that the Coons had not scored more than six against anybody but the Crusaders in TWO MONTHS. They had to score more than six runs to win this one. They didn't. Against right-hander Adam Howell, Stalker flew out easily to left, Hereford hit an RBI single to center, and Harenberg flew out gingerly to Houghtaling in center. 6-5 Capitals. Ramos 2-5, BB; Hereford 2-6, 3 RBI; Carmona 2-3, 3B, 2B; Brotman 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Is it winter yet?

Game 3
WAS: 2B E. Trevino – SS Givens – 1B Barber – CF Houghtaling – C Lessman – LF Bednarski – RF Hodgers – 3B Menth – P Beltran
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – RF Hereford – 1B Harenberg – CF Mora – LF Spencer – C Tovias – 3B Nunley – P Gutierrez

Rico Gutierrez, who hadn't been amazing since the War of 1812, walked Matt Barber and gave up a 430-footer to Houghtaling right in the first inning to put the Capitals on the sweeping track, at least until the Coons batted through the order in the bottom 1st against the guy that led the Federal League in ERA. Ramos walked, Hereford and Harenberg hit back-to-back bombs to flip the score, Spencer singled, and then Elias Tovias homered, too! 5-2 after the first …!? AIN'T BASEBALL A FICKLE THING??

Would it end well? Did anything ever end well for this team? Rico held up through three, but got taken well deep by Lessman for the catcher's 21st shot of the year, all of them in this series, in the fourth inning. Bednarski and former Loggers scare Victor Hodgers hit singles as the inning drew on, but Menth grounded out to Harenberg and Jake Williams, pinch-hitting for the fallen Beltran, struck out to end the frame. Harenberg pulled the run back in the bottom 4th with a sac fly that got in Ramos, which put the score at 6-3, and thus meant they would not score again in this series. There was two months' worth of evidence to that! So when Jarod Spencer opened the bottom 5th with a leadoff double against longtime Raccoons righty Will West, good ol' Will could surely rest easily. They wouldn't add to that 4.22 ERA of his. Tovias walked, Nunley and Gutierrez struck out, and Ramos grounded out to first, just as expected. They would not get another run in this game; but would six be enough? Rico pitched seven solid innings, Surginer did away with the eighth, and then came the ninth. Snyder took the ball, issued a leadoff walk to Lessman, another one to Bednarski, and this could not be true… Hodgers and Menth both grounded out to the right side, which twice moved up the runners, so it was a 6-4 game with Bednarski at third and two down when Jose Lara pinch-hit in the pitcher's spot. Synder rung him up, salvaging one game from this series. 6-4 Coons. Hereford 3-4, HR, 2 RBI; Harenberg 2-3, HR, 2 RBI; Spencer 4-4, 2B; Tovias 2-3, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Carmona (PH) 1-1; Gutierrez 7.0 IP, 5 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 2 BB, 10 K, W (10-9);

Raccoons (72-50) @ Loggers (44-75) – August 20-22, 2027

The staggering thing with the Loggers was that they were close to taking the season series from the Raccoons, who were up only 7-5 at this point against a team that sat 11th in both runs scored and runs allowed in the Continental League. On the brink was a string 13 consecutive years in which the Loggers had drawn the season series three times, but had never won it from the Raccoons, with a total tally of 145-90 in Portland's favor from 2014 through 2026.

Projected matchups:
Dan Delgadillo (8-9, 3.23 ERA) vs. Danny Soto (7-11, 4.76 ERA)
Rin Nomura (13-5, 2.61 ERA) vs. Philip Rogers (6-11, 4.72 ERA)
George James (4-2, 3.08 ERA) vs. Joe West (6-6, 4.27 ERA)

Three right-handed pitchers; there were a number of holes in the Loggers lineup owing to injury, including Willie Trevino, Mike Green, and both of their catchers from earlier, Victor Ayala and Jim Young.

Game 1
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – 3B Hereford – 1B Harenberg – RF Gomez – LF Spencer – C Tovias – CF Magallanes – P Delgadillo
MIL: 1B Dresch – 2B Moroyoqui – LF Cambra – CF Coleman – RF Stone – SS Ferrer – 3B Parten – C Canody – P D. Soto

Three hits, three runs for Portland in the opening inning, as Stalker and Hereford reached base ahead of Kevin Harenberg, who homered to right-center to give Delgadillo the early spot, which he immediately blew with five straight singles smacked by the Loggers in the bottom of the first inning. Jesus Moroyoqui, Firmino Cambra, Ian Coleman, Jason Stone, and Manny Ferrer – Dan Delgadillo just could not get anybody out. The Loggers plated three to pull even right away. That was not all; Jason Stone drove in two with a single in the bottom 2nd, and Delgadillo was on nine hits allowed by then, and 11 hits after the third, in which Jason Parten and Tyler Canody hit singles, but were stranded. That was all for him, banished to the showers after three absolutely pathetic innings. Cookie batted for him with Tovias and Magallanes on base in the top 4th and hit a 1-out RBI double to left. A walk to Ramos filled the bases for Tim Stalker, who tied the game with a sac fly to Ian Coleman in center, but Hereford's fly to left ended a promising inning. In turn, left-handed batters turned on Jeff Kearney in the bottom 4th. Firmino Cambra and Ian Coleman hit leadoff singles, and groundouts scored one of them before Parten was walked intentionally and Canody got rung up, now in a 6-5 score, which also meant that the "six are enough!" Coons had lost already. Thank goodness we could establish that early! The Coons proceded to do absolutely nothing against Loggers pitching from here on out, then had a bottom 7th from a second-tier horror movie; Corey Dresch reached base on a throwing error by Rich Hereford with McLin pitching, and then Stalker made a throwing error to put Cambra on behind Billy Brotman's back. Billy then folded, allowing an RBI single to PH Steve Garcia, then walked Jason Stone, before somehow Manny Ferrer flailed himself out with the bases loaded. Like one more run mattered… the Coons went down entirely feebly anyway. 7-5 Loggers. Stalker 2-4, RBI; Hereford 2-5, 2B; Harenberg 2-4, BB, HR, 3 RBI; Carmona (PH) 1-1, 2B, RBI;

Game 2
POR: SS Ramos – LF Carmona – 2B Hereford – 1B Harenberg – CF Mora – RF Gomez – C Tovias – 3B Nunley – P Nomura
MIL: 3B V. Diaz – 1B Dresch – LF Cambra – RF Stone – SS Ferrer – CF Coleman – C S. Garcia – 2B Moroyoqui – P Rogers

For the fourth time this week, the Raccoons scored first, but this time only in the third inning. Cookie's 2-out single was their first base hit, and he was in motion right away with Rich Hereford at the plate. Hereford sunk a ball in the left-center gap, and that was well enough to bring in Senor Carmona with the game's first run, after which Harenberg struck out. Now, remember they had not only blown all their "we scored first" leads, but they had also lost all the games in which they had scored first, and lo and behold, Jesus Moroyoqui opened the bottom 3rd with a triple into the leftfield corner. Rogers struck out; Vinny Diaz grounded sharply to third base, where Nunley still had a glove worth fearing, and he shagged that bouncer, sending the runner back to the base, and Diaz to the bench on a 5-3 groundout. Corey Dresch then grounded out to Hereford to strand the leadoff triple. Well, at least other teams suck, too!

Not so hard as the Coons, though. Bottom 4th, Nomura issued a leadoff walk to Cambra, then bled the Loggers into a 2-1 lead with a triple served up to Jason Stone and a double surrendered to Manny Ferrer. Bottom 5th, leadoff single by Diaz up the middle, then a bunt by Dresch that Nomura threw away. That one put runners in scoring position with nobody out, and confidence in a 13-game winner thoroughly eroded. Nomura would not squiggle out of this one, either. Cambra plated a run with a groundout, but the bigger feat was Ferrer's line drive double to left-center that brought in Dresch with two down for a 4-1 score.

In a weird occurrence, the Raccoons brought the tying run to the plate in the seventh inning without an error being involved. Tovias hit a leadoff single, and Stalker dropped in a 1-out single in the #9 hole, which also got rid of the sorry sight that sad sack Nomura offered. Ramos loaded the bases with a single to shallow left, which also got Rogers removed for left-hander Francisco Colmenarez and his 4.79 ERA. It was not the right move as it soon turned out. He was 2-2 against Cookie before surrendering an RBI single to right, then had a full count on Hereford, before Rich singled into center. With Ramos at second base and an early start, this one scored two and thus tied the score at four. And the Coons weren't done; Kevin Harenberg singled to center, with Cookie dashing home from second base to take the lead, and, well, then Abel Mora hit another sharp ball at Ferrer for an inning-ending double play, keeping it at 5-4, which Boles in the seventh and Surginer in the eighth protected; both struck out pairs in their innings. No insurance run ever came about for Ricky Ohl in the bottom 9th, which Alberto Velez led off pinch-hitting for Moroyoqui and drawing a 4-pitch walk. Ohl got a groundout from Alexis Rueda, then called for a session with the Druid and left the game with an apparent injury. I fainted ever so slightly while Jonathan Snyder took over the 5-4 game with the tying run at second base with one down. Diaz and Dresch both grounded out on just four total pitches to end the game. 5-4 Coons. Carmona 2-5, RBI; Hereford 2-5, 2B, 3 RBI; Stalker (PH) 1-1;

The Druid came up with the good news quickly – Ricky Ohl was out for the year with an elbow strain. What an awesome development…

Ohl landed on the DL by Sunday, with Nick Derks being called up from AAA. Derks, 27, was also a veteran of three cups of coffee, amounting to 32 games, 40.2 innings, and a 3.98 ERA in the majors.

Game 3
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – LF Hereford – 1B Harenberg – CF Mora – RF Gomez – C Tovias – 3B Nunley – P James
MIL: 1B Dresch – 2B Moroyoqui – LF Cambra – CF Coleman – RF Stone – SS Ferrer – 3B A. Velez – C Canody – P J. West

Ramos walked, stole second, and was blatantly stranded in the first inning. While James allowed no hits and two walks in the first three innings, the Coons got two hits and no runs; Tim Stalker hit a 2-out double in the third, but was stranded when Hereford was robbed by Cambra in the gap. On to the fourth, Harenberg hit a leadoff double to right, then came around to score the game's maiden run on Abel Mora's double in the right-center gap, but Mora also pulled up lame at second base and had to be replaced by Greg Borg, who scored following a Tovias single that moved him to third base when Nunley flew out sufficiently deep to right to allow him to scamper home, 2-0. The inning ended on James' fly out to Cambra, who also hit a leadoff single in the bottom 4th, but got doubled up on Coleman's spinner at Nunley for a 5-4-3 double play. James didn't get a strikeout until he whiffed Ferrer to begin the bottom 5th, but then put Velez (double) and Canody (walk) on base. They were bunted over, but Dresch struck out to strand the tying runs in scoring position. James blew the lead anyway the following inning, retiring nobody to start the bottom 6th. Moroyoqui singled, and Firmino Cambra whacked only his second homer of the year. Moroyoqui hit a 2-out single the following inning to knock James from the game, with Kearney retiring Cambra on a grounder then.

This left a 2-2 tie to resolve one way or another, and a leadoff single by Alberto Ramos in the top 8th was a perfectly valid bid to do so. Unfortunately, the middle of the order was still yuck. Stalker bunted Ramos to second base, even, and they still couldn't get him in. Both Hereford and Harenberg made outs to Coleman in center. On to the ninth, Borg grounded out weekly against former Raccoons right-hander Joe Moore, but Gomez dinked a soft one into shallow right for a single. Tovias flew out to center, Nunley flew out to left, and Josh Boles sent another game to extras with a quick bottom 9th. Harenberg stranded a pair when he grounded out to Moroyoqui in the top 10th, and it would be an error by Manny Ferrer (Ferrer error?) in the 11th against Yoo-chul Kim that put Portland on the map when he fumbled Gomez' 1-out grounder for a free base runner. Tovias then hit a looper to left that Cambra tried to shag in flight, but came up short, then had it get under his glove and past him while he left a 10ft butt mark in the outfield grass and had to scamper after the ball. It was so bad, Tovias wound up with a *triple* as the Coons took a completely and fully unearned lead. Nunley struck out, but Cookie (double) and Ramos (triple) lengthened the score, bringing in another Loggers reliever, Bobby Valencia, who struck out Stalker to end the top 11th. Billy Brotman pitched for the save despite walking a pair in the bottom 11th and getting a nifty play from Greg Borg in center… 5-2 Coons. Ramos 2-5, BB, 3B, RBI; Stalker 2-5, 2B; Mora 1-2, 2B, RBI; Tovias 3-5, 3B, RBI; Carmona 1-2, 2B, RBI;

Nick Derks got the W in relief for somehow surviving the bottom 10th.

In other news

August 17 – Indy's SP Chris Sinkhorn (14-7, 3.43 ERA) not only beats the Rebels 1-0 while striking out 11 and going the distance, but he also NO-HITS Richmond, becoming the fourth Indian to ever achieve the feat, and the first one to do so in over 30 years.
August 17 – SAL 3B/SS Michael Hobbs (.293, 1 HR, 12 RBI) leads the Wolves with four hits and four RBI in a wild 16-10 win over the Aces.
August 20 – A sore shoulder might keep LAP OF Justin Fowler (.301, 22 HR, 90 RBI) out of action for a month.

Complaints and stuff

No news on Mora so soon, and I assume the Druid has to do some meditating before he can make another diagnosis. That, or shrooms, it's usually either-or.

What is the over-under, the warm feeling on the following claim: a season is not a total loss if you don't lose the season series to the Loggers? Because if that is true, we have salvaged '27 already with the squeeze series win on the weekend, going up to 9-6 against them for the year.

Also, the offense scored 5.0 runs per game this week, which was very confusing. Still didn't manage to plate seven against a non-Crusader team, though. And the Titans (who stumbled over Indy on the weekend) are coming up next, oh boy …

How unusual was the game-winning hit on Sunday? It was Elias Tovias' second career triple in 2,070 at-bats. That is quite simply the fewest triples per 1,000 at-bats for any Raccoon ever with at least 2,000 at-bats, and the fewest for any Raccoons position player with at least 1,000 at-bats (the usual exception to remove Kisho Saito and Nick Brown from the sample size; both had one career triple in some 1,100 AB).

RACCOONS BATTERS WITH FEWEST TRIPLES (min 2,000 AB)

1st – Elias Tovias – 2
2nd – Wyatt Johnston – 3
3rd – Craig Bowen – 4
4th – Matt Workman – 5
t-5th – Sam Dadswell – 8
t-5th – Steve Walker – 8
t-5th – Glenn Johnston – 8
8th – Winston Thompson – 9
9th – Albert Martin – 10
t-10th – Matt Nunley – 12
t-10th – Pedro Sánz – 12
t-10th – Cameron Green – 12

And while Cookie Carmona leads the franchise with 110 career triples, it is not only a function of longevity that nobody at all is even within half of his triples. Second place belongs to Daniel Hall, with 51, ahead of Concie Guerin (42), Neil Reece (41), and the chump Ben O'Morrissey (36).

Alright, I never wanted us to get there, but it is drawing up… our 4,000th regular season loss. It will happen either this month or in September, but I doubt we can make it 103-59 season anymore, which would be what it takes to defer #4,000 to next year.

Fun Fact: Chris Sinkhorn's no-hitter is the first one in an interleague game since the Falcons' Brian Patrick no-hit the Scorpions, also by a 1-0 score, on June 13, 2013.

That was also the last season that Brian Patrick was any sort of effective in the majors, posting a 5-5 record and 4.04 ERA in an injury-shortened season. His ERA rocketed to 5.81 with the Loggers the following year and he only amounted to 38 innings and a 6.28 ERA in 13 games with the Miners in '15 before vanishing from the majors at age 35. His career record was 96-142 with a ghastly 5.11 ERA.