[Stanley Kuppchaser]

Welcome aboard Bluffton Boomerangs! You might want to hire a team dietician to counsel your players about their eating habits on the road. Depending on where you end up, your players will be tempted by a vast array of gastric delights. The Asheboro Road Dogs serve up the Route 66 Royal Road Dog, a secret wiener recipe that checks in at 2000+ calories a serving. Then there's the Annandale Atom Smashers' Large Hadron Hamburger Collider, another 2000+ offering. The Philadelphia Patriots have authored a truce between Geno's and Pat's, and those two most venerable purveyors of cheese steak have combined to create the Formidable Flag Waver, a 3000+ sub resting in Amoroso rolls baked on the premises. In honor of their their theme song, "Psychotic Reaction," The Asylum Keepers cook up The Count Five, a quintuple layer concoction whose calorie count they won't even reveal. Then there's the Kaneohe Mokes' loco moco to contend with. I could continue, but I fear you'll be reaching for the Maalox, and reconsidering your meal money budget and I don't want to be the cause of dissension on your squad. A look just at the names of possible opponents, such as the Waffletown Syrups, the Mudville Muffins, the Daytona Beach Pickleballers, etc., etc, etc., should warn you that the road you are soon to travel is fraught with flavorful red flags. By the way, be sure to visit the Wheatland Jets artisan bakery.