Minnesota Timberwolves (62-68, .477, 4th NL West) @ Los Angeles Lakers (73-58, .557, 1st NL West)
The last time we saw these guys, in their park, they took two close ones off of us before we crushed them in the 3rd game of a three-game set – despite their – count ‘em – 12 players listed on the IL. If there is a team more snake bit than Shawna’s T’Wolves you’ll be hard pressed to find them. I’ve never seen anything like it – here you have a team that should be challenging us for the NL West crown that instead is a hobbled, unsteady version of the club they should have been. Meet the team? Why bother – all their top guys are out – nicked & bruised and wholly useless. Theirs is a lost cause, one where guys like Colt DeWees and his 7 HR’s is batting in the 3-hole (maybe – he’s listed DtD with dodgy knees) and 37-year-old Emanuele Lissenberg and his 5.16 ERA acting as their Ace (maybe – he’s exhausted). In short, this is a good club made bad by a terrible case of the injury bug and one that seems to have our number despite their misfortunes – at 5-6 against them for the year, we need to get right with the lord and get a sweep here.
132 of 162: Gregory Highman (5-4, 3.89) @ Case Tunnell (10-5, 3.41)
Tunnell mows through Minnesota like they were only two days’ worth of growth – CG 6-hitter for the champ – he gives up 1 run on the day like it’s no big deal. We drive 5 in and are afforded two more on walks in this one – a 7-1 win for the hometown fans. Jenkins finishes 2 for 4 with a HR, an RBI and 2 runs – this one was a weird 7-run effort where most of the team contributes and our opponent gives us a couple of freebies. How about Tunnell, though? Nice to see the young man put forth such a great effort today – he’s been up and down for us, but today he was a crafty SOB – out there dealing.
Propers: Dance & Rejoice – your boy done good, he done real good!
Pepper Grant wins Player of the Week honors in the NL. And deservedly so… he was fierce for us.
133 of 162: Adam Lymon (7-4, 4.72) @ Julen Morales (15-6, 3.34)
So, this one was a smidge boring – we win it 1-0, Julen picks up where Case left off, goes 8.1 with only 2 hits, nada earned, and lets Kawka get in some work on the last 2 batters – Josiah snipes the win here because our offense was, well, paltry. Mullens, doing the Lord's work, drives in the game-winner on a sacrifice fly, Otto gets a hit, Ruben gets two, and we turn a fierce Jenkins-Daniels-Zarate double-play – a good effort all around. Now, if only our ushers could wake up the crowd to send them home…
134 of 162: Damon Smith (2-4, 5.29) @ Merl Crawford (8-8, 4.26)
It was all a dream – a flight of fancy – sweeps, after all, are tough to get, and we wouldn’t get one here as the Minnesota Timberwolves beat us in another snooze-fest (they are the Oakland A’s of this universe) by a score of 3-2. Merl goes 7 – with two earned & 6 K’s – and Bae is jobbed in this one when an unforced error allows one to get across on his watch. The offense sputtered – not much of value to highlight there and we flub two weak grounders to give the T’Wolves an absolute gift of a W here. SMH… These guys, man, I just don’t know about them sometimes.
Propers Part II: The Secret of the Ooze – Houston Dynamo stalwart & supreme mustache detailer, Bishop Jones, went 3 for 4 with a double, a homer, 4 riblets, and 2 runs in their 11-5 win over the Portland Timbers. That Bishop, who is a 4-time All-Star and 2071 Silver Slugger recipient, is not donning the Purple & Gold shows my lack of focus with this here dynasty – he has THE STACHE, is, somehow, ENGLISH, and is a Holy Cross alum – this guy screams LA LA LAND. And, he’s a Catcher… C’mon, man, why didn’t I know this guy existed? Also, speaking of guys I’ve never heard of – a dude named Mustafa Boltz (you can’t make this up) has himself a tasty little 20-game hitting streak – his ‘stache game is only so-so, but the name is pure
OOTP GOLD.
