[Westheim]

Raccoons (9-14) @ Loggers (17-8) – May 5-8, 2031

Something felt wrong about this basic top line. It was early May and the Loggers were not only ahead of the Raccoons, but also *seven* games ahead of the Raccoons, and in first place on top of that. The Raccoons were also in first place… as far as the race towards the bottom of the division was concerned. The Loggers were allowing only three runs per game, the fewest in the league, and sported the best rotation. Their offense was not quite as dominant, sitting only eighth in runs scored. We met them for the first time this year, and beat 13 wins out of them in ’30, which was rotten just as well as any losing season, but what was really in danger here was the fact that we had not lost the season series to Milwaukee for 17 years. The last time the Coons lost the season series to the Loggers, Matt Nunley was a September call-up.

Projected matchups:
Jason Gurney (0-0) vs. Morgan Shepherd (1-2, 2.83 ERA)
Ed Hague (1-0, 4.07 ERA) vs. Josh Weeks (1-0, 1.41 ERA)
Mark Roberts (2-2, 4.31 ERA) vs. Mike Hodge (1-1, 1.23 ERA)
Tom Shumway (1-3, 3.38 ERA) vs. Joe West (5-0, 2.45 ERA)

Weeks was the only southpaw coming up in the series. Hodge would take the spot of Josh Long, who was out with elbow soreness, and had would make his first start of the season.

Gurney took Sabre’s spot for a second consecutive spot start, which would gain the Critters enough length to last out Dave Martinez’ suspension. Rico Gutierrez would open the weekend set on Friday, and Martinez would pitch the first day he was eligible to do so on Saturday. That would all take place in Richmond. Meanwhile Gurney had gone 2-3 with a 4.91 ERA with Portland last year, but had a 5.14 ERA in St. Pete this season. Didn’t matter – we need the arm.

Game 1
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – 3B Nunley – RF Wallace – 1B Howden – LF Allan – CF Vanatti – C Tovias – P Gurney
MIL: C J. Young – 2B Sessoms – SS W. Morris – RF Stephenson – LF Cambra – CF Creech – 3B Parten – 1B Canody – P Shepherd

The Loggers had three on with nobody out in the bottom 1st, with Jim Young getting nailed, Aaron Sessoms getting walked, and Wayne Morris getting a ball past Nunley. Josh Stephenson grounded into a force at home, but that was it for good news as Firmino Cambra slogged a 2-run single to right, and Gurney plated antoher run with a wild pitch before the inning fizzled out. Gabe Creech whiffed, Jason Parten flew out to left, and in fact those two were the first of *15* straight batters sat down by Gurney after the onslaught. Any decent team would try at least a little rally, but the Raccoons also weren’t getting on base, plain and simple. Ramos had led off with a double in the top 1st, Nunley had walked, but Wallace and Howden had both gone down poking, and the Critters did not reach base again until Elias Tovias hit a 2-out single in the fifth inning. Gurney grounded out real quick to end whatever scheme that was.

Top of the sixth, still down 3-0, the Raccoons got Stalker on base with a knock, and Nunley was knocked to make him company, and with an 0-2 pitch on top of that. Jimmy Wallace batted as the tying run, the first time the Raccoons had seen that one in play since falling behind in the first inning. Shepherd ran a full count, then threw a fastball for a strike that Jimmy didn’t miss. He blasted it 430 feet to right center, and his fifth bomb of the year gave everybody a brand-new ballgame. Bottom 6th, Wayne Morris hit a 1-out single to left to become the first Loggers runner since Cambra had been stranded on third base in the opening frame. Gurney got two pop flies for easy outs, completing six and ultimately a job well done; he was on 96 pitches and his spot was up in the top 7th, which began with Joe Vanatti singling off reliever Julio Palomo, and pretty quickly being picked off first base. Tovias hit a double to left on the very next pitch, which was totally not frustrating. Hereford batted for Gurney, struck out, and Ramos flew out in foul ground on the right side to strand the runner in scoring posi- no, wait, Taylor Canody fumbled it dropped it. New life for Berto! He turned that into a full count walk, and Stalker was nailed, filling the bags with two down for Nunley (alternatively, if Vanatti hadn’t fallen asleep, we’d be up 4-3 already). Nunley hit the first pitch to center, but Creech was not beaten by that, and the Coons stranded a full set. Vanatti however DID put the Coons up 4-3 in the eighth; Wallace on second and Howden on first – at least after a terrible throwing error by Alfredo Casique on the mound, who could have had any out, wanted two, and got none when he fired over Morris’ head on Howden’s grounder – Allan lined out to Cambra in left, but Vanatti’s liner wasn’t caught and fell for an RBI single, chasing Wallace in with the go-ahead run. Casique kept falling behind and generated another single on 2-0 against Tovias, which loaded the bags. Sean Catella batted for Fleischer with three on and one out, popped out, and Ramos struck out to strand ANOTHER full set. How could this NOT come back to haunt us?

Bottom 9th, still 4-3, Josh Boles allowed a leadoff single to Cambra, who was swiftly run for by Danny Valenzuela. Boles went on to strike Creech in the ankle, requiring another pinch-runner in Matt Lockert. There was sufficient speed on the bags now that the next stupid mistake could end the ballgame. Riccardo Ferrales batted for Jason Parten, walked on four pitches, and now the bags were full with nobody out. Canody hit a sac fly to left to tie the game, and then PH Kaleb Holder grounded to first, where Jarod Howden, the dumb pig, fumbled the ball into foul ground and all Loggers were safe around the diamond. Winning run at third base, one out, Jim Young ended the sorry spectacle with a single to center. 5-4 Loggers. Vanatti 2-4, RBI; Tovias 3-4, 2B;

In between rubbing my temples with all the fingers I had to make the pain go away, I also sent Gurney back to St. Pete to bring up a batter to fill in for the actual vacancy of a right-handed outfielder. Unfortunately, that meant more of Wilson Rodriguez, which nobody could be too fond of.

With Weeks up, Alberto Ramos would get his first day of this season; he had been the only Raccoon to be in every starting lineup at this point. There were however still three other Critters to feature in every game: Howden, Hereford, and Wallace.

Game 2
POR: SS Stalker – 2B Baldwin – 3B Hereford – LF Wallace – 1B Howden – RF Rodriguez – CF Vanatti – C Leal – P Hague
MIL: 1B Canody – 2B Sessoms – SS W. Morris – C J. Young – RF Stephenson – LF Cambra – 3B Holder – CF Creech – P Weeks

Both teams went down in order the first time through; Weeks whiffed two, while Hague got five. Symmetry continued with both Tim Stalker and Taylor Canody hitting leadoff doubles in their respective halves of the fourth inning. Stalker never moved another 90 feet, let alone 180, while – and here symmetry ended – Aaron Sessoms plated Canody with a jack to right, putting the Loggers up 2-0. Jarod Howden, the dumb pig, opened the fifth inning with a double to right, didn’t stop at second, and was well in time stopped at third base, thrown out by Josh Stephenson, with Kaleb Holder slapping on the tag. The pair of doubles remained the only two hits for the Critters through seven, which was also the distance that Ed Hague went. He allowed only three more singles, nobody scored, but you just knew he was up for his first loss in the brown uniform, with f.e. Weeks striking out the meat of the order in the seventh inning, running his tally in the game to eight. He had entered with just 19 K in 38.1 innings. He got Vanatti in the eighth for a ninth strikeout, and despite being up only 2-0 and on 103 pitches, the Loggers sent him into the ninth inning, which the Coons opened with their #9 batter, which turned out to be The Excitement pinch-hitting for John Hennessy. Weeks walked him – his first free pass issued and the first Coons runner to not throw himself into the abyss since Stalker in the fourth. The same Tim Stalker was nicked by a pitch, putting the tying runs on base for Matt Nunley, batting for Baldwin against righty reliever Ken Gautney (although truth be told, he would have batted against any pitcher here). Nunley struck out. Hereford struck out. Gautney had a full count going against Wallace, appeared to spot the corner on 3-2, but didn’t get the call. Bases loaded, two down, for the dumb pig at the plate. Howden jocked a 1-0 pitch to right, Stephenson nowhere near it! Ramos scored, Stalker scored, the game was tied on a 2-run single! That was all, though, despite a bases-loading single by Ryan Allan. Vanatti grounded out to strand another full set. Bottom 9th, leadoff walk to Jim Young issued by Garavito. Stephenson singled, and when Cambra hit a comebacker, Garavito fired to third base – late. Three on, nobody out, Ferrales pinch-hit and hit a pitch to right that deep enough to get Young home on a sac fly. 3-2 Loggers. Howden 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Allan (PH) 1-1; Ramos (PH) 0-0, BB; Hague 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 0 BB, 6 K;

I am this close to sending them all to bed without a bowl of ice cream!

Game 3
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – 3B Nunley – RF Wallace – LF Hereford – 1B Howden – CF Vanatti – C Tovias – P Roberts
MIL: 3B Lockert – C J. Young – SS W. Morris – RF Stephenson – CF Creech – 2B Holder – LF Ferrales – 1B Canody – P Hodge

The Raccoons continued to hardly function as a baseball team, and the Loggers were again to score first. This time it was a Matt Lockert double and a dying bloop by Wayne Morris that with two outs Vanatti dove for but missed by inches, and that allowed Lockert around from second base. Nobody else scored or came even close through five innings, with both teams held to three hits apiece. The Coons’ fourth base hit would be a Roberts single to left leading off the sixth inning. And somehow, nobody knew quite how, this was a situation where Alberto Ramos would ALWAYS walk, and did so here. Pitcher on first base, Berto was gonna line up right behind it! Maybe it was better this way; Ramos had been on base without impediment in the third inning and had been caught stealing by Jim Young. Stalker walked on four pitches to load the sacks with nobody out, which was such a nasty move by Hodge! Nunley hit a grounder to the right side, which would get a run home in some capacity rather than being turned into a 3-2-3-2 triple play, but Holder actually missed the grounder and it escaped for a score-flipping 2-run single! Wallace struck out, Hereford singled softly to load the bases again, and then Howden hit into a double play to end the inning. YOU DUMB PIG!!

The lead was short-lived, with Gabe Creech hitting a souvenir to a guy pretty high up in the rightfield stands with two outs in the bottom 6th. That was not all. Holder walked, stole second when Tovias fumbled the pitch, and then scored on a Ferrales single to put the Loggers up 3-2. Ferrales went to second on the throw home, then scored on Canody’s single, 4-2. Hodge in turn leaked singles to Catella and Ramos in the seventh, but they were stranded on the corners when Stalker grounded out to Morris. Wallace and Hereford chucked singles in the eighth before Howden (…!) hit into an inning-ending double play. There was not even much pretense in the ninth… 4-2 Loggers. Ramos 2-4, BB; Nunley 2-4, 2 RBI; Hereford 2-4; Catella (PH) 1-1, 2B;

I don’t think I like where this is going. And next up was Tom Scumbag, the Master of Disaster, against an undefeated Joe West…

Game 4
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – 3B Nunley – RF Wallace – LF Hereford – 1B Allan – C Tovias – CF Catella – P Shumway
MIL: 3B Lockert – 2B Sessoms – SS W. Morris – RF Stephenson – CF Creech – C J. Young – LF D.J. Mendez – 1B Canody – P J. West

The Raccoons not only *scored*, but scored *first* on Thursday, Stalker singling, moving up on a Nunley grounder, and coming home on Wallace’s single to center, right in the first inning. Hereford struck out to end the frame, and Tom Scumbag’s personal strategy for pitching with a tender lead involved walking a pair right in the opening inning, but the Loggers hit into a double play to bowl themselves out of the inning. Top 3rd, Shumway led off with a single to right, and Ramos parked up right behind him (again!) with a single of his own. Alberto had been robbed in the gap to begin the game – curse you, D.J. Mendez! – and had yet to scar the Loggers like he usually did. With Shumway in front it was station by station baseball, and to Tim Stalker’s single loaded them up with nobody out for Matt Nunley. Both him and Wallace hit run-scoring groundouts, 3-0, and Hereford flew out to Creech to end the inning. Shumway allowed no base hits the first time through the order, but then got tagged for a leadoff double by Sessoms in the fourth, and immediately followed that up with an RBI triple served up to Morris. And they would keep hitting; Morris grounded, but Stevenson and Young hit singles to score another run, and the Coons had to walk Taylor Canody intentionally to fill them up for Joe West, who hit a decently-sized fly to center at 2-1, but for the third out, and Portland remained up 3-2. That one, Shumway would **** away, too, despite an RBI double by Nunley in the fifth stretching the score. Loggers went to the corners on singles in the bottom 5th and got a run on a sac fly, and Canody singled home Mendez in the sixth to tie the score at four. Shumway was yanked before the inning was over, Fleischer getting a pop from Matt Lockert to close out the sixth before indiscriminately filling the bases in the bottom 7th with two walks, a single, and nobody out. Creech greedily struck out reaching for a slam, after which Garavito got involved, but conceded the go-ahead run on Jim Young’s sac fly. Mendez popped out to strand two more. The eighth was ho-hum, and the Coons arrived in the ninth down by a run and facing Alfredo Casique. Vanatti batted leadoff in the #8 spot, which Catella had vacated on accounts of neck pain. The Coons didn’t suffer offensively for it, for Vanatti laced a triple into centerfield and the tying run was 90 feet away with nobody out! Jarod Howden, the dumb pig, batted for Ricky Ohl and struck out. Ramos walked, which didn’t help. Stalker ran a full count and struck out, and with Nunley at the plate, Ramos took off to take second base… but was thrown out. 5-4 Loggers. Stalker 3-5; Vanatti 1-1, 3B;

In case you struggle to keep counting, that is a 7-game losing streak and an 11-game gap to the first-place Loggers. There are a lot items in that sentence that should sound the alarm for any decent Coons fan worth their whiskers.

Raccoons (9-18) @ Rebels (9-18) – May 9-11, 2031

But fear not – there was another team as ****ty as the Critters in the land, and they’d be our first interleague rivals of the season. The Rebels had only lost three in a row, but then again their record was worse than their team had been. They were actually more games under .500 than runs under .500 (-5). The offense was slow and tardy, but the pitching was solid, at least the rotation. The pen was full of holes. This was the fifth straight year of us playing the Rebs. We had dropped last year’s encounter, two games to one.

Projected matchups:
Rico Gutierrez (0-3, 6.58 ERA) vs. Felipe Delgado (1-4, 5.61 ERA)
Dave Martinez (1-1, 2.05 ERA) vs. Gabriel Lara (2-2, 4.21 ERA)
Ed Hague (1-0, 3.73 ERA) vs. David Medina (0-2, 4.37 ERA)

Left, right, right, or so we think. They had an off day this week and could make a little shuffle work.

The Raccoons would have Monday off, but played another series with a shortened bench. Sean Catella was day-to-day with a stiff neck that would hamper him enough to be no more than the last resort; any warm body before no warm body, and Catella still had a pulse; same for, I am told, Jarod Howden, although I was tempted to hold a little mirror under his pointy black nose and check for myself.

Game 1
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Baldwin – 2B Stalker – LF Hereford – CF Vanatti – RF W. Rodriguez – 1B Howden – C Tovias – P Gutierrez
RIC: RF Campisi – C Leonard – 2B Freeman – 1B Rempfer – CF Jennings – 3B Hansen – LF Jacobs – SS H. Rodriguez – P F. Delgado

Ramos opened with a single to center, then stole second. Hey, he still has it …! He also made Felipe Delgado, a six-year veteran who should be less easily spooked, balk when he danced off second base following a Baldwin groundout, moving his bum to third base one way or another. Stalker walked, but Rich Hereford got the run home with a sac fly. Then came the gift that kept on giving to the wrong team, Rico Gutierrez. Cyril Campisi and Keith Leonard, the old Titan, hit singles either way before Ben Freeman popped out to right. The runners embarked on a double steal that saw Leonard knocked out easily be Tovias, but Gutierrez walked Brent Rempfer anyway. That brought up .115 hitter Billy Jennings, who cracked a bouncer to right and struck a blindly running Rempfer in the thigh, which ended the inning, and which was probably the only way that inning would ever have ended for Rico Gutierrez, who again pitched for $2M bucks’ worth of horse poo. However, despite the lack of pitching and the excess of just lobbing it towards the catcher on a wing and a prayer, on the other end there was still another .333 team. It took the Rebels until the fourth to reach again, then Rempfer with a single, and this time he was not even clubbed out by his own teammate, but stranded at second base when Jennings and John Hansen made hard outs. John Jacobs hit a leadoff single in the fifth, was bunted to second, Rico walked Campisi, but despite us having multiple replays of Keith Leonard doing grim things to Raccoons, his 2-out liner was shagged by Hereford to end the inning.

The Raccoons had a whopping two base hits through six innings, which was not an offensive rate conducive to ending a weeklong spill. It also didn’t help that Freeman reached on a Ramos error to begin the bottom 6th. Rempfer popped out, but Billy Jennings got hold of a “fastball” and powered it outta centerfield to flip the score, 2-1 Rebels. The Coons put up a vague threat when Vanatti walked and Howden singled in the seventh, but with two down Tovias fanned all by himself. Gutierrez pitched into the seventh, but was removed after walking Leonard with two outs. Chris Wise replaced him, served up a booming homer to Ben Freeman – and that would be the ballgame for sure… and it was. 4-1 Rebels. Baldwin 2-4;

When I returned to the hotel and requested that the bell boy cart me to my room in a luggage trolley for I couldn’t hold myself upright anymore, the concierge informed me that a Mr Valdes had called 17 times in the last hour. I shrugged and claimed not to know anybody by that name and that this had to be a mix-up, then rolled into a ball on the luggage trolley. I tipped the boy who pushed me up to my room, a lovely lad named Jim-Bob, ten dollars for the splendid job he did with the trolley, and another twenty when he lifted me onto my bed, tucked me in and killed the lights on another day in my living nightmare.

Game 2
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – 3B Nunley – RF Wallace – LF Hereford – CF Vanatti – 1B Howden – C Leal – P Martinez
RIC: RF Campisi – 3B Hansen – C Leonard – 1B Rempfer – CF Jennings – 2B Freeman – LF Jacobs – SS Ferrando – P G. Lara

Two outs without allowing a run would have put Martinez’ ERA under two after a 10-day layoff, but he wouldn’t do it. He allowed singles to Campisi and Leonard, walked Rempfer, threw a wild pitch, walked Freeman, and somehow got Jacobs to chase and strand three in a 1-0 game. To my utter surprise then, this was not the end of things; the Coons would bat around in the third inning, top to bottom, and plate four runs, three of which came on a Jimmy Wallace bomb to right, chasing home Stalker (who had forced out Ramos) and Nunley to take the lead. Hereford hit a double right after that and came home on a Vanatti single before the bottom of the order dawdled the remaining outs away ineffectively. The Rebels came back swift and firm; three were on with nobody out in the bottom 3rd, courtesy of a Hansen line drive single to left, Leonard lacing a double to right, and then a hapless walk to Rempfer. Jennings struck out in a full count before Martinez brought in ANOTHER run with ANOTHER wild pitch. Freeman hit an RBI single, cutting the gap to 4-3, before Jacobs struck out and Michael Ferrando grounded out to Stalker.

Somehow, Martinez left the game with a 5-3 lead after five innings of messy, all-over-the-place baseball. He threw 103 pitches, not all of them near where Leal could catch them. Leal got his first RBI of the year on a single in the fifth inning; which was okay, it was merely the middle of May by now… Ramos on the other hand had knocked a leadoff double in the fourth and had been stranded, then found Vanatti and Leal in scoring position with two outs in the fifth and flew out to strand them. For the next two frames, Nick Derks (who had not pitched at all in the Loggers series or on Friday), Jonathan Fleischer, and John Hennessy cobbled together outs without blowing the lead, providing a nice setup for Ricky Ohl and Josh Boles until the top of the eighth featured more bad pitching by the Rebels, who had righty Andy Brannum shuffle the bags full with nobody out, and the Coons didn’t even have to fish for a hit. Ramos walked, Nunley walked, and in between Stalker was nicked. They would not get a hit in the inning; Wallace struck out, and Hereford flew out to shallow center, too shallow even for Ramos to take off from third base. Brannum then walked Vanatti in a full count to force home an insurance run with two outs, then fell 3-0 to Jarod Howden. And guess what – the dumb pig poked and flew out to left. YOU DUMB PIG!!

But the ****ty Baseball Show was not over yet! Bottom 8th, Ricky Ohl allowed a leadoff single to Freeman, nailed Jacobs good enough that he required urgent medical attention and a pinch-runner (Hector Rodriguez), then got a generous call on a 3-2 pitch off the edge to ring up Ferrando, but fell 3-0 to PH Miles Monroe. And now Monroe popped out! Dumb pigs everywhere!! Cyril Campisi grounded out on the very next pitch. The bottom 9th began in usual fashion, with an extra-base knock off Josh Boles, a formerly excellent young closer. Now he was just a closer. John Hansen doubled to center, bringing up the tying run in the on-deck circle. Leonard popped out. Rempfer lined out to Ramos. Jennings bounced to the left side, Ramos on that, too, throw to first – ballgame. 6-3 Raccoons. Nunley 2-4, BB; Wallace 2-5, HR, 3 RBI; Hereford 3-5, 2B; Vanatti 2-4, BB, 2 RBI; Leal 3-5, RBI;

I immediately sent a telegram to our dear owner after the game! “COONS WIN STOP NOT BY FORFEIT STOP”

Game 3
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – 3B Nunley – RF Wallace – LF Hereford – 1B Allan – CF Vanatti – C Tovias – P Hague
RIC: RF Campisi – 3B Hansen – C Leonard – 1B Rempfer – CF Jennings – 2B Freeman – LF Jacobs – SS Ferrando – P D. Medina

Their guy was winless, ours was unbeaten – what could go wrong? And as proof that nothing could go wrong here, Elias Tovias came up with 2-out, 2-run base hits in both of his first two plate appearances. He scored Hereford and Allan with a single in the second, then plated Hereford and Vanatti with a double in the fourth. That feat was followed up by Medina losing Hague on balls, and Ramos chucking an RBI single to get Tovias home from second base, then extending the lead to 5-1; Hague had surrendered a run on the only two hits he had given up so far in the bottom 2nd.

The Rebels answered with a 6-run fifth that knocked out Hague while it was still in progress. Worse yet, the inning actually started with two outs! Jacobs and Ferrando grounded out harmlessly, but those were the last outs Hague logged. PH Mark Purdie singled, Campisi went yard to left, and it was off to the races. Hansen singled, Leonard – tough as nails – fouled off a plethora of pitches before walking, and Rempfer hit an RBI double to center, cutting the lead to 5-4 with the tying runs in scoring position. Hague effortlessly fell 3-0 behind Jennings before conceding a score-flipping, 2-run bloop single, and was yanked sharply after that. Chris Wise came on, offered no relief whatsoever, and allowed Jennings to score on singles by Freeman and Jacobs before Ferrando struck out to keep it a 7-5 game.

…after which much was a blur thanks to me hitting the noble bar near the suites of the rich folks in the ballpark and ordering the barkeep to knock me out with the hardest thing he had; in an instant I got struck by a barstool and the next few innings really just passed me by. It was still 7-5 in the eighth however, and the Critters refused to get on base. Nick Derks pitched without allowing a thousand runs, so why shouldn’t that be a catalyst for a ninth-inning comeback? Well, for starters, closer Kyle Dominy had a 1.93 ERA, and the we also brought up the bottom of the order. And yet, Joe Vanatti walked on four pitches! And that brought up Elias Tovias with 4 RBI on the day and counting and - … and he hit into a double play. No comeback occurred. 7-5 Rebels. Ramos 3-4, RBI; Tovias 2-4, 2B, 4 RBI; Baldwin (PH) 1-1;

In other news

May 5 – RIC RF/LF Keith Damron (.217, 4 HR, 12 RBI) will miss four months with a particularly bad hip strain.
May 10 – TIJ SP George Griffin (4-1, 2.55 ERA) and four relievers – Ray Andrews, Steve Gowan, Pat Selby, and Erik David (2-1, 2.16 ERA, 10 SV) – hold the Wolves hitless in a 2-1 Condors victory. Salem amounts only to three walks while getting no-hit. This is the most pitchers to date to have been involved in a combined no-hitter.
May 11 – SAC LF/RF Doug Stross (.352, 3 HR, 12 RBI) will be out for a month with torn ankle ligaments.

Complaints and stuff

(puts away the Agitator with the Rebels celebrating Cyril Campisi’s homer with a shaken Ed Hague in the background blur, all under the fat headline of “No Luck No Excuse For No Skill”)

We’re bottoms in the power rankings now. Which is hard to do, really. You have to suck extraordinarily hard to get to the bottom of that!

(uncomfortable silence)

Now, this would be the spot where I would offer the so-called bright sides, and how nothing was really as bad as it seems, but … but there is nothing to tell you. The only bright spot is Ramos, leading the CL in stolen bases with 12 and also in batting average at .361, about ten points ahead of a pair of pesky Loggers, Josh Stephenson and Firmino Cambra. Teamwide the sole bright spots would be the pen (3.10 ERA, best in CL) and the defense, which is tight and ranked second-best in the CL. That pitcher after pitcher gets drummed despite that is reason for … concern? Quitting? Knotting a good sturdy rope?

Next week, Wolves at home, then a quick trip for the team to Elktown. I will have to stay home and wait for them to come back right after that for another two home series against New York and Las Vegas.

Fun Fact: George Griffin becomes the first pitcher to be involved in both a combined no-hitter and a no-hitter in his own right.

Griffin no-hit the Aces on April 17, 2027, which is neither the most recent Condors no-hitter (Jorge Villalobos, 2030) or the most recent time the Aces got no-H’ed (SFB Ben Lipsky, 2029).

The Wolves were no-hit for only the second time, having previously fallen victim to Pittsburgh’s John Key in 2018.