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pauwoo · 10-20-2019, 01:13 PM

2077 Season (9/13 – 9/16)
Los Angeles Lakers (90-52, .634, 1st NL West) @ San Francisco Seals (69-73, .486, 3rd NL West)
While the Seals aren’t mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, yet, we all know that for all intents and purposes they are… just the series of events, unfortunate and otherwise, that would have to occur in order for San Francisco to make the playoffs are so far fetched and outlandish that even the most imaginative of dreamers would have a hard time getting behind the path required to make that happen. We’re at the point – fortunately for us – where our destiny is clear, our path to the playoffs defined and assured yet we still have to finish out the regular season marathon… our immediate goal here is to stay focused on the task at hand, to delay our preoccupation with the possibilities that have opened up before us, and to close out the 2077 campaign like a group of highly paid professionals.

143 of 162: Newton Weiser (16-7, 3.02) @ Nolan Wilkins (5-5, 5.23)
Loss, 2-1. Newton was great – focused, he had his command, the slide was nasty – but the one run he gave up in the 3rd was all that would be required for the Seals to charge a big fat L to our account. Lonzo Gonzo went 4 for 5 and was stranded 4 times and OH HONG hit a solo shot in the top of the 6th – his 5th dinger of the season.

Note: The Dallas Cowboys can no longer conjure the type of witchcraft mathematics necessary to stay in playoff contention and instead have been unceremoniously disqualified from the big dance on a dress code violation of sorts - it seems that impersonating a baseball club is a crime in these parts. And, Derek Jeter, in what is perhaps the beginning of the swan song to his career, went 3 for 5 with a HR, 2 RBIs, and 2 runs in the Columbus Bluejackets 9-7 victory over the Newport Beach Gypsies. Lastly, Megan has been busy in San Marcos – she’s released three players, signed two prospects and an aging vet who has a little bit left, and sold her first contract to the Majors - $500k from the Steelers for SP Jaxon Richardson who will report to the Nashville Picks.

144 of 162: Paul Yeager (18-6, 3.39) @ Landon Sampson (11-5, 2.73)
Win, 4-1. Yeager went 7.1 innings, allowed only a single score, and K’d 5 – serviceable, economical, and in command – and Otto went 1 for4 with 2 runs and 2 walks to help us secure the win. 41st save for Barbaccia, 26th double for Voorhis, and another SAC FLY for Ethan.

145 of 162: Aiden Jensen (11-11, 4.84) @ David Ouwerkerk (8-9, 3.36)
Win, 8-4. We lost Aiden for 3-4 weeks with chronic back stiffness – also known as aging to those of us who are past our athletic prime – but the offense was awake… HAMZA hit a 2-run jack, OH HONG went 2 for 3 with a double, an RBI, and a run, and Ethan hit a 2-run double… 42nd for Barbaccia, second professional win for Trevor Dotson, who gave us 4.2 innings of work (he gave up 4, but was bailed out by the offense), and we got the 33rd home run for Otto.

146 of 162: Dejuan Burns (9-10, 4.12) @ Jan Hernandez (9-13, 4.60)
Win, 6-4. Dejuan with a quality start, Dom with the 3-run jack… same as it ever was lately. 43rd save for Barbaccia, SAC BUNT for Hamza, SAC FLY for Rajkumar, and a 2 for 4 day from PEPPER.

Notes: With playoff spots still being sorted out in the Majors, there seems to be some last-minute jockeying for positions between several clubs… Meanwhile, in the International League, the bracket is all set… Long Beach, Salt Lake, Tucson, Huntington Beach, Sacramento, and Hartford will battle for the honor of representing the Republic League, while Sugarland, Newport Beach, Salem, Columbus (Deter is in the playoffs!), Seattle (Supersonics), and Nashville will fight for the honor of representing the Democratic League.

2077 Season (9/17 – 9/19)
Los Angeles Lakers (93-53, .637, 1st NL west) @ Philadelphia 76ers (71-75, .486, 6th NL East)
From Tricentennial hero to 2077 zero – Philadelphia has worked hard to accomplish the unenviable task of going from being the man to being the man that got beat – they still have a fierce power alley though… 27 jacks for Parker Palmer and 26 for Justin Jenkins… The Philadelphia 76ers have an oft-dangerous lineup in place that they’ve surrounded in mediocrity to achieve results that one would expect of a team with this sort of half-assed makeup. If this isn’t a tanking effort then it is, possibly, the poorest management of a big-league club that we’ve seen in some time. And if they don’t have a plan in place then wasting the prime of Jenkins & Palmer may rank amongst the most nefarious happenings within Strangeverse. In short – get your stuff together Philly and stop feeding your thoroughbred horse's nutritionally deficient pitching that can’t do their, very small, part of keeping it close enough for the bats to do some damage.

147 of 162: Michael Brisk (13-10, 3.21) @ Gary Benoit (4-5, 4.16)
Win, 4-3. Brisky was meh, mostly fine, I guess – but, given the check, he’s been cashing I’ll settle on MEH… he allowed three in 5.2 – and Kumar Bovie hit a timely solo shot in the top of the 10th that put us up for good. 44th save for Barbaccia, 5 stolen bases for the club – Hamza, Otto, Mullens (2x) and O. Mack…

148 of 162: Newton Weiser (16-8, 2.94) @ Vin Uhlman (11-14, 4.40)
Loss, 6-1. Uhlman went the distance, allowing only a single run to plate and Palmer Parker went 2 for 4 with an RBI… Newton labored on the mound – he allowed 5 runs for the contest, his most since 9/3 when the Seals put 6 on him… let’s hope a theme isn’t developing here. Hamza picked up his 53rd steal – he is currently sitting at 5th in the MLB for steals – 3B Jamie Burke, out of San Diego, is first with 64 so far in 2077.

Elsewhere: RF Hayden Kimmet hit his 300th career home run in a game against the St. Louis Rams – the current OF backup for the Phoenix Suns accomplished the feat in a Wildcard Clinching win for the Arizona upstarts – which means we will be facing them in the 1st round of the playoffs. Kind of a great news story for Hayden here as this feat would have never been possible if Phoenix didn’t buy his contract off the Coney Island Footlongs in early May. We are 7-7 against Phoenix so far in 2077. Also, in news that should surprise no one, the San Francisco Seals, after trying every possible numerical permutation have been officially eliminated from the 2077 postseason – mathematically and otherwise.

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149 of 162: Paul Yeager (19-6, 3.31) @ Rex Marler (9-4, 4.26)
Win, 7-2. TWO homers for Dontrell Gay, 7.2 innings of 2-run ball for Yeager (8 K’s too), a SAC FLY for Voorhis, and Ethan’s 28th double of the season during this contest… as a statistical side note you should be aware that 1B Jacob Wells, of the Phoenix Suns, leads the league in doubles at 43 so far…

2077 Season (9/20 – 9/22)
Los Angeles Lakers (95-54, .638, 1st NL West) @ Brooklyn Citizens (83-67, .553, 3rd NL East)
This one should be a dogfight as Brooklyn is fighting for their playoff life to close out the 2077 campaign – currently, they are a mere ½ game behind St. Louis for the last WC spot in the NL… they’ll be ready to play, we, well… we may or may not show up here – let’s be honest, it’s difficult to focus when you already know that you’ve won the NL West Division and that you’ll be playing your most hated rival when they playoffs finally get underway.

150 of 162: Trevor Dotson (2-0, 5.63) @ Josh Allen (17-9, 3.36)
Win, 8-7. A 5-run top of the 8th was all she wrote in this one – Brooklyn reliever Ruell Compston failed to record even a single out in that frame and allowed 4 runs on 14 pitches including a 3-run homer by Otto. Starter Josh Allen also allowed two homers during the contest as Voorhis & Mullen both took him yard. Their case against St. Louis is getting weaker by the day folks…

Note: In two playoff games with the Columbus Bluejackets, Derek Jeter is currently hitting 1 for 8 with 1 RBI and 3 K’s… the end is nigh.

151 of 162: Dejuan Burns (10-10, 4.08) @ Nick Demmer (7-9, 4.10)
Win, 6-3. Mario went 2 for 3 with a three-bagger and a homer, Dejuan gave us a solid 6.1, O. Mack went yard and drove in two runs, and Rajkumar recorded his 7th ding dong of the season – we’ve been on a bit of a roll… the fans in Brooklyn are not pleased.

152 of 162: Michael Brisk (13-10, 3.25) @ Miguel Machado (9-6, 5.06)
Win, 12-5. ROAD SWEEP! Otto went 3 for 5 with TWO homers and 3 RBIs, Lonzo Gonzo hit a 3-run dinger, PEPPER hit a SAC FLY, we stole 5 bags (2x for Lonzo Gonzo, 1x for Otto, Ethan, and O. Mack), and Brisky struggled with his control over 6.1 innings but managed to keep us in it long enough for the offense to take over.

Notes: We’ve officially won our division – NL West Champs for the 3rd year in a row… Philly’s ability to make the calculations work on their playoff aspirations have officially expired – they won’t be represented in the playoffs without some super creative accounting work and some kind of Win laundering scheme…Also, the Columbus Bluejackets were swept from the IL playoffs by the Salem Silverbacks - Jeter, whose skillset suddenly resembles that of a 14-year olds, went 3 for 17 with 1 RBI... queue that one scene from Major League...

10-20-2019, 01:13 PM	#387
pauwoo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Seattle Posts: 2,266	2077 Season (9/13 – 9/22) 2077 Season (9/13 – 9/16) Los Angeles Lakers (90-52, .634, 1st NL West) @ San Francisco Seals (69-73, .486, 3rd NL West) While the Seals aren’t mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, yet, we all know that for all intents and purposes they are… just the series of events, unfortunate and otherwise, that would have to occur in order for San Francisco to make the playoffs are so far fetched and outlandish that even the most imaginative of dreamers would have a hard time getting behind the path required to make that happen. We’re at the point – fortunately for us – where our destiny is clear, our path to the playoffs defined and assured yet we still have to finish out the regular season marathon… our immediate goal here is to stay focused on the task at hand, to delay our preoccupation with the possibilities that have opened up before us, and to close out the 2077 campaign like a group of highly paid professionals. 143 of 162: Newton Weiser (16-7, 3.02) @ Nolan Wilkins (5-5, 5.23) Loss, 2-1. Newton was great – focused, he had his command, the slide was nasty – but the one run he gave up in the 3rd was all that would be required for the Seals to charge a big fat L to our account. Lonzo Gonzo went 4 for 5 and was stranded 4 times and OH HONG hit a solo shot in the top of the 6th – his 5th dinger of the season. Note: The Dallas Cowboys can no longer conjure the type of witchcraft mathematics necessary to stay in playoff contention and instead have been unceremoniously disqualified from the big dance on a dress code violation of sorts - it seems that impersonating a baseball club is a crime in these parts. And, Derek Jeter, in what is perhaps the beginning of the swan song to his career, went 3 for 5 with a HR, 2 RBIs, and 2 runs in the Columbus Bluejackets 9-7 victory over the Newport Beach Gypsies. Lastly, Megan has been busy in San Marcos – she’s released three players, signed two prospects and an aging vet who has a little bit left, and sold her first contract to the Majors - $500k from the Steelers for SP Jaxon Richardson who will report to the Nashville Picks. 144 of 162: Paul Yeager (18-6, 3.39) @ Landon Sampson (11-5, 2.73) Win, 4-1. Yeager went 7.1 innings, allowed only a single score, and K’d 5 – serviceable, economical, and in command – and Otto went 1 for4 with 2 runs and 2 walks to help us secure the win. 41st save for Barbaccia, 26th double for Voorhis, and another SAC FLY for Ethan. 145 of 162: Aiden Jensen (11-11, 4.84) @ David Ouwerkerk (8-9, 3.36) Win, 8-4. We lost Aiden for 3-4 weeks with chronic back stiffness – also known as aging to those of us who are past our athletic prime – but the offense was awake… HAMZA hit a 2-run jack, OH HONG went 2 for 3 with a double, an RBI, and a run, and Ethan hit a 2-run double… 42nd for Barbaccia, second professional win for Trevor Dotson, who gave us 4.2 innings of work (he gave up 4, but was bailed out by the offense), and we got the 33rd home run for Otto. 146 of 162: Dejuan Burns (9-10, 4.12) @ Jan Hernandez (9-13, 4.60) Win, 6-4. Dejuan with a quality start, Dom with the 3-run jack… same as it ever was lately. 43rd save for Barbaccia, SAC BUNT for Hamza, SAC FLY for Rajkumar, and a 2 for 4 day from PEPPER. Notes: With playoff spots still being sorted out in the Majors, there seems to be some last-minute jockeying for positions between several clubs… Meanwhile, in the International League, the bracket is all set… Long Beach, Salt Lake, Tucson, Huntington Beach, Sacramento, and Hartford will battle for the honor of representing the Republic League, while Sugarland, Newport Beach, Salem, Columbus (Deter is in the playoffs!), Seattle (Supersonics), and Nashville will fight for the honor of representing the Democratic League. 2077 Season (9/17 – 9/19) Los Angeles Lakers (93-53, .637, 1st NL west) @ Philadelphia 76ers (71-75, .486, 6th NL East) From Tricentennial hero to 2077 zero – Philadelphia has worked hard to accomplish the unenviable task of going from being the man to being the man that got beat – they still have a fierce power alley though… 27 jacks for Parker Palmer and 26 for Justin Jenkins… The Philadelphia 76ers have an oft-dangerous lineup in place that they’ve surrounded in mediocrity to achieve results that one would expect of a team with this sort of half-assed makeup. If this isn’t a tanking effort then it is, possibly, the poorest management of a big-league club that we’ve seen in some time. And if they don’t have a plan in place then wasting the prime of Jenkins & Palmer may rank amongst the most nefarious happenings within Strangeverse. In short – get your stuff together Philly and stop feeding your thoroughbred horse's nutritionally deficient pitching that can’t do their, very small, part of keeping it close enough for the bats to do some damage. 147 of 162: Michael Brisk (13-10, 3.21) @ Gary Benoit (4-5, 4.16) Win, 4-3. Brisky was meh, mostly fine, I guess – but, given the check, he’s been cashing I’ll settle on MEH… he allowed three in 5.2 – and Kumar Bovie hit a timely solo shot in the top of the 10th that put us up for good. 44th save for Barbaccia, 5 stolen bases for the club – Hamza, Otto, Mullens (2x) and O. Mack… 148 of 162: Newton Weiser (16-8, 2.94) @ Vin Uhlman (11-14, 4.40) Loss, 6-1. Uhlman went the distance, allowing only a single run to plate and Palmer Parker went 2 for 4 with an RBI… Newton labored on the mound – he allowed 5 runs for the contest, his most since 9/3 when the Seals put 6 on him… let’s hope a theme isn’t developing here. Hamza picked up his 53rd steal – he is currently sitting at 5th in the MLB for steals – 3B Jamie Burke, out of San Diego, is first with 64 so far in 2077. Elsewhere: RF Hayden Kimmet hit his 300th career home run in a game against the St. Louis Rams – the current OF backup for the Phoenix Suns accomplished the feat in a Wildcard Clinching win for the Arizona upstarts – which means we will be facing them in the 1st round of the playoffs. Kind of a great news story for Hayden here as this feat would have never been possible if Phoenix didn’t buy his contract off the Coney Island Footlongs in early May. We are 7-7 against Phoenix so far in 2077. Also, in news that should surprise no one, the San Francisco Seals, after trying every possible numerical permutation have been officially eliminated from the 2077 postseason – mathematically and otherwise. 149 of 162: Paul Yeager (19-6, 3.31) @ Rex Marler (9-4, 4.26) Win, 7-2. TWO homers for Dontrell Gay, 7.2 innings of 2-run ball for Yeager (8 K’s too), a SAC FLY for Voorhis, and Ethan’s 28th double of the season during this contest… as a statistical side note you should be aware that 1B Jacob Wells, of the Phoenix Suns, leads the league in doubles at 43 so far… 2077 Season (9/20 – 9/22) Los Angeles Lakers (95-54, .638, 1st NL West) @ Brooklyn Citizens (83-67, .553, 3rd NL East) This one should be a dogfight as Brooklyn is fighting for their playoff life to close out the 2077 campaign – currently, they are a mere ½ game behind St. Louis for the last WC spot in the NL… they’ll be ready to play, we, well… we may or may not show up here – let’s be honest, it’s difficult to focus when you already know that you’ve won the NL West Division and that you’ll be playing your most hated rival when they playoffs finally get underway. 150 of 162: Trevor Dotson (2-0, 5.63) @ Josh Allen (17-9, 3.36) Win, 8-7. A 5-run top of the 8th was all she wrote in this one – Brooklyn reliever Ruell Compston failed to record even a single out in that frame and allowed 4 runs on 14 pitches including a 3-run homer by Otto. Starter Josh Allen also allowed two homers during the contest as Voorhis & Mullen both took him yard. Their case against St. Louis is getting weaker by the day folks… Note: In two playoff games with the Columbus Bluejackets, Derek Jeter is currently hitting 1 for 8 with 1 RBI and 3 K’s… the end is nigh. 151 of 162: Dejuan Burns (10-10, 4.08) @ Nick Demmer (7-9, 4.10) Win, 6-3. Mario went 2 for 3 with a three-bagger and a homer, Dejuan gave us a solid 6.1, O. Mack went yard and drove in two runs, and Rajkumar recorded his 7th ding dong of the season – we’ve been on a bit of a roll… the fans in Brooklyn are not pleased. 152 of 162: Michael Brisk (13-10, 3.25) @ Miguel Machado (9-6, 5.06) Win, 12-5. ROAD SWEEP! Otto went 3 for 5 with TWO homers and 3 RBIs, Lonzo Gonzo hit a 3-run dinger, PEPPER hit a SAC FLY, we stole 5 bags (2x for Lonzo Gonzo, 1x for Otto, Ethan, and O. Mack), and Brisky struggled with his control over 6.1 innings but managed to keep us in it long enough for the offense to take over. Notes: We’ve officially won our division – NL West Champs for the 3rd year in a row… Philly’s ability to make the calculations work on their playoff aspirations have officially expired – they won’t be represented in the playoffs without some super creative accounting work and some kind of Win laundering scheme…Also, the Columbus Bluejackets were swept from the IL playoffs by the Salem Silverbacks - Jeter, whose skillset suddenly resembles that of a 14-year olds, went 3 for 17 with 1 RBI... queue that one scene from Major League... __________________ Be excellent to each other. the Portland Pioneers \| the Los Angeles Leopards Last edited by pauwoo; 10-20-2019 at 02:18 PM.