[Westheim]

Raccoons (27-24) @ Thunder (24-27) – May 30-June 1, 2033

The Coons had swept the Thunder in April, but they had lost all other second series against the teams they had swept in April so far, so hopes were naturally low – where else would they be? Nevertheless, the Thunder were fourth in runs scored, but very much last in runs allowed. Their run differential was an unsightly -42.

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (4-3, 3.00 ERA) vs. Scott Soviero (0-8, 8.31 ERA)
Andy Palomares (4-4, 5.37 ERA) vs. Andy Jimenes (0-4, 4.65 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (3-4, 4.64 ERA) vs. Zach Warner (5-1, 2.44 ERA)

…of course it would be nice to not lose against that 0-12 duo that we’d face in the first two games. Soviero was a southpaw; the other two offerings were right-handers.

Game 1
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Marsingill – 2B Stalker – LF Wallace – 1B Zitzner – CF M. Fernandez – C Garcia – RF Ferrero – P Sabre
OCT: RF Celaya – CF Olszewski – 1B D. Cruz – LF Sagredo – SS Serrato – C L. Riley – 3B Felicame – 2B A. Rojas – P Soviero

A bloop (Drew Olszewski) and a blast (Danny Cruz, far, far, far away) put the Thunder up 2-0 in the first inning against Sabre, who seemed to have gotten too much praise recently and had to piss it all away. It got more bitter in the third inning, which first saw Tim Stalker step into the box with Ramos and Marsingill on base and hitting into an inning-murdering double play, and then Sabre came back, walked the goddamn opposing pitcher leading off, and gave up another monstrous bomb to Cruz with two outs, digging himself a 4-0 hole.

Sabre learned, feeding Cruz nothing but garbage for a walk his next time around, but the Raccoons didn’t, and let another garbage pitcher make away with a free win. Through six innings, they amounted to four hits and a run off Soviero. The latter came about in the fifth inning with a leadoff single by Fernando Garcia and a walk drawn by Ferrero. Sabre bunted over the runners, Ramos hit a sac fly, but that was it. Marsingill grounded out, and the team remained behind by three. Sabre lasted six and a third before being knocked out by PH Ruben Orozco’s single in the seventh, also the seventh ball knocked for a base hit off Sabre, only five of which had ever been found again. David Fernandez came on and cleaned up the top of the order to finish the inning. Soviero was done after seven, the Thunder not willing to gamble any further with him. Ex-Critter Billy Brotman completely dominated the Coons in the eighth, and they would face another left-hander in the ninth inning, trying to make up three runs against Tony Gallardo and his 3.19 ERA; the 29-year-old Gallardo was technically a rookie, signed out of Cuba this past winter. Jimmy Wallace dipped a single to center to begin the inning. Zitzner flew out to center. Manny Fernandez hit into a fielder’s choice, keeping the tying run in the batter’s box. Garcia walked in a full count, narrowly, bringing a pinch-hitter into the batter’s box, Justin Perkins batting for David Fernandez, who had gotten five outs after Sabre’s demise. He flew out to Lorenzo Celaya, who barely had to move. 4-1 Thunder. D. Fernandez 1.2 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 1 K;

That was a ****ing **** game.

Don’t you dare delivering any more like this!

Game 2
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – LF Wallace – 1B Zitzner – CF M. Fernandez – RF Hooge – C Thompson – 3B Perkins – P Palomares
OCT: 3B Becker – CF Olszewski – 1B D. Cruz – C Burgess – LF Sagredo – SS Serrato – RF S. Cutler – 2B A. Rojas – P A. Jimenes

Any sort of offense out of this Coons lineup remained mere desire. Through five innings, Tim Stalker had two singles, and the only other Critter to even reach base was Justin Perkins, making it to second on a fifth-inning throwing error by Alex Serrato. None of all that led to a run… or a runner on third base even. Palomares kept up for a while, pitching a 3-hit shutout with 2 K through four before he was unhorsed by a double-error defensive meltdown in the bottom 5th. Perkins threw away Jimenes’ harmless grounder with one out, putting the pitcher on second base. Thierry Becker then singled to right, Ed Hooge’s throw to home plate was terrible, and Jimenes scored with Becker going to second base, from where two more singles by Drew Olszewski and Danny Cruz scored him, giving Oklahoma a 2-0 lead. Mike Burgess hit into a double play to clean up. The only Raccoon left alive, Stalker, began the sixth with a hit in the gap, a double that soared over a lunging Luis Sagredo’s glove. Sagredo fell down and the ball ran away from Olszewski while Stalker was chugging around the bases, and by the time Olszewski caught up with the baseball, Stalker was turning third and was not going to be stopped – inside-the-park homer for one of the brown-clad guys!

Nothing good happened the rest of the inning, but Palomares at least kept it a 1-run game in the bottom 6th, even though the Coons had to walk Alfredo Rojas intentionally with Sagredo in scoring position and two outs to collect the third out from Jimenes. The top 7th then began with Elliott Thompson getting nailed. Perkins singled to left, and the tying and go-ahead runs were on. Palomares bunted them over, Ramos lined out to short, and Stalker flew out to Olszewski – nobody scored. As usual. Wallace hit a leadoff single in the eighth against Jimenes, who was then replaced by lefty Nick Celmer after a groundout by Zitzner. The Coons countered with Marsingill and Ferrero pinch-hitting for Fernandez and Hooge. One grounded out, the other whiffed. And nobody scored. Perkins then finally hit a double off ex-Coon Jared Stone in the ninth with one down. Tom Hawkins grounded out, moving him to third base. And Berto Ramos lined out to another shortstop, Victor Ochoa. 2-1 Thunder. Stalker 3-4, HR, RBI; Perkins 2-4, 2B;

John Hennessy pitched in the eighth inning and was in back pain afterwards. Dr. Chung diagnosed him with a herniated disc and also general sissyness, which I didn’t know was in the ICD-15. Regardless, Hennessy would miss a month on the DL, and the Coons had to bother the Alley Cats for another pitcher, which turned out to be 2029 sixth-rounder and 24-year-old right-hander Kyle Green, who had a 3.38 ERA in St. Pete.

…and if we don’t get the offense going very soon, I will throw a couple of guys out of their hotel room’s window, which will perhaps also facilitate more DL stints…!

Game 3
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – LF Wallace – 1B Zitzner – RF M. Fernandez – C Thompson – 3B Perkins – CF Pinkerton – P Gutierrez
OCT: RF Celaya – CF Olszewski – C Burgess – 1B D. Cruz – SS Serrato – LF Sagredo – 2B A. Rojas – 3B Becker – P Warner

The Coons stranded a pair in the second inning – Zitzner getting nicked and Thompson walking – and also couldn’t get Ramos home after a 1-out double in the third inning. Rico Gutierrez resisted the pest control agents in the early innings, allowing only two hits and no runs, and thus when Manny Fernandez took Zach Warner’s 71mph curve to town beyond the centerfield fence with one out in the fourth marked the first run in the game. Thompson and Pinkerton would hit singles to go to the corners, but the inning ended with Gutierrez’ groundout to Rojas. Returning to the mound in the bottom 4th, he had the first guy up, Burgess, at 1-2 before serving up a goose egg himself that was hit 420 feet to tie the game. He allowed a single to Cruz on 0-2, walked Serrato, then reported unfit for service with elbow soreness. Nick Bates was tossed into steaming cauldron of looming defeat and gave up back-to-back singles to Luis Sagredo and Alfredo Rojas, the latter giving Oklahoma a 2-1 lead, then a sac fly to Thierry Becker. Warner hit into a 5-4-3 double play to end the miserable inning.

With defeat assured in a 3-1 game, the Critters gave Kyle Green his ABL debut in the sixth. He retired Serrato, Sagredo, and Rojas in order in that inning, and also retired Thierry Becker on a grounder to short to begin the seventh before being replaced by Garavito with Orozco pinch-hitting for Warner and two more lefty swingers in the 1-2 spots. He got a grounder and a punchout, keeping the game close enough that a reasonably talented team could still see a way to make up the deficit. Jimmy Wallace indeed hit a jack off Marcos Ochoa in the eighth, but that was a solo job and still kept the Coons a run short. Garavito and Blair held away the Thunder in the bottom 8th, bringing out Jared Stone for the top 9th, with Marsingill pinch-hitting for the pitcher in the vacated #5 hole, Manny Fernandez having fallen victim to an earlier double switch. Marsingill struck out. Thompson struck out. Garcia hit for Perkins, fell to 2-2, then shoved a ball through the left side for a single. Which was all the same to Stone. He rung up Pinkerton to complete the sweep. 3-2 Thunder. Garcia (PH) 1-1;

Rico Gutierrez was apparently still not irrepairably broken. Dr. Chung insisted he’d make his next start.

And, no, they will not ever win again. And now we’re off to Boston…

Raccoons (27-27) @ Titans (33-18) – June 3-5, 2033

The Titans had been a rather pedestrian 9-7 at some point, but had ignited the afterburners in late April and had since zoomed away from the rest of the division. They were third in runs scored, tied for second in runs allowed, and humming. Somehow they were being nigh unbeatable for about six weeks without an entire choir of .300 hitters (only Mark Walker hit .306) or a serial dinger masher (nobody had even five homers for the team!). They also didn’t steal bases. Somehow, they still flattened the North, routinely. They were also unbeaten by the puny Coons this season, 6-0 in six games.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (6-3, 2.85 ERA) vs. Dustin Wingo (4-2, 3.62 ERA)
Ignacio del Rio (3-5, 4.09 ERA) vs. Jordan Caldwell (5-1, 3.48 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (4-4, 3.24 ERA) vs. Adam Potter (6-2, 3.80 ERA)

Could be this order, lefty and two righties, or could be something else; the Titans had been off on Thursday, just like the Critters. They had two more southpaws in reserve in Mario Gonzalez (5-4, 4.00 ERA) and Tony Chavez (4-1, 2.22 ERA).

Game 1
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Marsingill – 2B Stalker – LF Wallace – 1B Zitzner – CF M. Fernandez – C Garcia – RF Ferrero – P B. Chavez
BOS: RF M. Walker – 3B E. Gonzalez – LF W. Vega – C Lessman – SS Spataro – 1B Jam. Richardson – 2B T. Johnson – CF Curro – P Wingo

Portland scored first (!) when the Titans could not turn two on Wallace’s grounder to short that followed singles by the 2-3 batters who went to the corners. Marsingill came across, Zitzner actually also hit a single, but Fernandez grounded out to strand the remaining runners. Of course the lead held not even a single inning, with Bernie Chavez being beaten to death on five hits in an endless bottom of the first inning. Mark Walker led off with an infield single, moved up on a grounder, and scored on Willie Vega’s double. David Lessman, Keith Spataro, and Jamie Richardson all followed with singles to take a 2-1 lead and have the sacks full when Todd Johnson hit into a double play to get Chavez off the butcher’s table. Wingo walked both Garcia and Ferrero to begin the top 2nd and Chavez bunted the runners over. Wingo gave up the lead on Ramos’ sac fly to center (although I’d damn sure like him to get a triple for once!), but then rung up Marsingill to end the frame.

After Bernie got around a leadoff walk to Corey Curro in the bottom 2nd, Stalker and Wallace went to the corners to begin the third inning against Wingo. Both starters were wobbling, but which would fall first? Not Wingo – K to Zitzner, a pop from Fernandez, and then a ****ty grounder to short from Garcia plated absolutely nobody. And just as there had been runners all over in the early innings, there was hardly anybody reaching base in the middle innings and the score remained 2-2 through six. While Bernie did not strike anybody out until the fourth inning, he also did not allow another base hit after getting shagged for five in the opening frame.

Top 7th, Ramos and Marsingill opened the inning with singles to put pressure on Wingo. The desperate Critters called a hit-and-run, Stalker missed, but Lessman also couldn’t beat Ramos to third base – all runners were safe. From there, Berto scored on a so far unretired Tim Stalker’s sac fly to break the tie, and while that knocked out Wingo, his replacement Alex Contreras allowed the other runner on another sac fly hit by Jimmy Wallace, leading all of Portland with a mighty 28 RBI in this first game of the middle third of the season. Contreras subsequently got zitzed with Travis Zitzner’s seventh dinger of the season, a no-doubter over the fence in right to get the tally to 5-2. Bernie lasted seven before being pinch-hit for. He struck out nobody in his first 11 outs, then rung up six in his final 10 outs. Curro hit a 2-out single in the seventh, but was stranded anyway. Garavito did the eighth, and Chris Wise was broken out of his protective foil cover for the ninth inning. David Lessman hit a leadoff single after which the Coons twice failed to get a double play on grounders on the infield, putting Spataro on second with two outs and Todd Johnson hitting a fly to deep left. Ferrero was over there with Wallace routinely yanked for defense. The ball did not trouble him, and he caught it to end the Raccoons’ winless spell. 5-2 Critters. Ramos 2-4, RBI; Marsingill 2-5; Stalker 3-4, RBI; Zitzner 2-4, HR, RBI; Chavez 7.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 6 K, W (7-3);

Game 2
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – LF Wallace – 1B Zitzner – RF M. Fernandez – CF Hooge – C Garcia – 3B Perkins – P del Rio
BOS: RF M. Walker – 3B E. Gonzalez – LF W. Vega – C Lessman – SS Spataro – 1B Jam. Richardson – 2B T. Johnson – CF Curro – P Caldwell

Boston scored in the first without the benefit of a hit. Edgar Gonzalez reached base when Zitzner dropped Perkins’ throw for an error, after which del Rio walked the bags full against Willie Vega and Lessman, then had Spataro hit a sac fly to right. Jamie Richardson grounded out to Perkins, and this time Zitzner was kind enough to hold on to the throw… The Raccoons were then up to tie the game in the top 2nd, although they could have had much more. Manny Fernandez was caught stealing for the second out before the next three batters all slapped singles. Perkins drove in Hooge, with Garcia thrown out at third base on a messy play, to get even at one. Top 4th, the Coons reached the corners with a Wallace double, a Zitzner single, and nobody out off Caldwell. Frustration continued as Manny Fernandez hit into a double play, which brought home the go-ahead run, but could you please THE **** STOP DOING THAT?? Hooge singled, of course, but Garcia flew out to left. Edgar Gonzalez’ homer with two outs in the fifth would tie the score again, and that was also del Rio’s final inning. Countless long counts and four walks had consistently supercharged his pitch count and he was over 100 after only five frames.

Anaya worked around a 1-out double by Jamie Richardson in the sixth, getting Johnson to ground out to Stalker (nifty play right there) and hanging a K on Curro. The top of the seventh inning saw Garcia flick a leadoff single in soft manner. Perkins grounded out, but PH Tom Hawkins legged out an infield single that died halfway up the third base line to put runners on the corners. Caldwell then pitched Ramos so careful he walked him on four pitches, filling up the bases with still one down for Stalker, who had silently moved into the top echelon in OPS in the league. His standing there was not going to be helped by his grounder to Todd Johnson. To short, to first, everybody back to the ****ing dugout. The Titans looked ready to end the silly charade in the bottom 8th when David Fernandez walked Spataro and allowed a sharp single to Richardson with one out, but his replacement Ed Blair got a double play from PH Ivan Vega, now sending the Titans back to the dugout, scratching their heads. Top 9th, when a Spataro error put Garcia on base to start the frame against Jermaine Campbell, the Coons sent Preston Pinkerton to pinch-run. He was doubled up all the same by Perkins’ ****ting ****-arse grounder to Spataro, 6-4-3. Kyle Green was sent into the bottom 9th, got two outs, then allowed a single to Mark Walker, walked Gonzalez, and ended the game when Willie Vega banged a hanger off the centerfield fence for a walkoff double. 3-2 Titans. Ramos 1-2, 2 BB; Zitzner 2-4; Hooge 2-4; Garcia 2-4; Hawkins (PH) 1-1;

11 hits, two walks, four double plays.

At this point, the Raccoons as a whole are doing nothing but simply annoying the living crap out of me. And the damn Titans have implemented a stupid rule that you only get two alcoholic beverages per game at their park, so I can’t even drink myself ****ing senseless while the pathetic sucking is going on …!

Game 3
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – LF Wallace – 1B Zitzner – RF M. Fernandez – CF Hooge – C Thompson – 3B Perkins – P Sabre
BOS: CF M. Avila – SS Spataro – LF W. Vega – C Lessman – 3B E. Gonzalez – RF M. Walker – 1B Jam. Richardson – 2B T. Johnson – P Potter

Zitzner hit another homer over the fence in the first inning, that one counting for two with Wallace aboard after having forced out Tim Stalker with a grounder. That was already all the scoring through five; the Raccoons played reliably pathetic against Potter, while Sabre scattered a few hits here and there, four in total through five innings, but didn’t allow a run. Funnily/sadly, two of the hits went into Potter’s piggy bank, a pair of singles, the latter of which he tried to stretch into a double but was thrown out by Hooge in the attempt. Zitzner led off the sixth with a triple to center, then tagged and went for home on Fernandez’ fly to left… and was thrown out by Willie Vega, a Gold Glover that would be the death of us for many more years to come. Hooge singled to right, of course, then was picked off, of course.

Moises Avila drew a leadoff walk in the bottom 6th and stole second, but Sabre rung up Spataro and Vega and got an easy grounder from Lessman to end the inning. Sabre would line up seven shutout innings on five base knocks, but then was done thanks to getting into the triple digits in pitches. Top 8th, Zitzner came up 3-for-3 and a double short of the cycle, but his ball hit to center was shallow and landed in front of Avila, holding him to a 2-out single, which knocked out Potter but ultimately led nowhere. After Anaya and Fernandez pieced together the bottom 8th, Ed Hooge opened the ninth with a double to right off Contreras. Maybe THIS could turn out to be a welcome insurance run and the first marker on the board since the first inning? Thompson walked, setting up a double play chance we had been waiting for. Marsingill hit for the chronically useless Perkins, but grounded out to Gonzalez, but at least that was only one out at first base… Noel Ferrero batted for the pitcher Fernandez, slapped a 1-1 pitch to right and over Johnson, and that sucker FINALLY dropped in! RBI single, 3-0! Ramos hit another one of those, Stalker hit into a fielder’s choice, but Wallace squeezed out a walk to fill the bags with two down for Zitzner, who – remember – was still a double short of the cycle. And while Zitz landed *another* base hit, that too fell in front of an outfielder, in this case Sean Bowman in right, and he was held to an RBI single. That got a southpaw involved; Wyatt Hamill got Fernandez to ground out, ending the inning with a 3-spot and as many runners stranded. Ed Blair retired the Titans in order in the bottom 9th. 5-0 Furballs. Ramos 2-5, RBI; Zitzner 5-5, HR, 3B, 3 RBI; Hooge 2-4, 2B; Thompson 1-2, 2 BB, 2B; Ferrero (PH) 1-1, RBI; Sabre 7.0 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 6 K, W (5-4);

In other news

May 31 – CIN SP Danny Soto (2-2, 2.84 ERA) was pitching his best season so far, but is now headed for Tommy John surgery with a torn UCL and will miss at least 12 months.
May 31 – DEN 1B Kumanosuke Henderson (.256, 3 HR, 19 RBI) will be out for three to four weeks with an oblique strain.
May 31 – Four leads are blown and a dozen pitchers sent to sit in the corner in the wicked and wild 15-12 win the Wolves secure over the Capitals. SAL 3B Lorenzo Rivera (.257, 0 HR, 8 RBI) has four base hits and three RBI.
June 1 – ATL SS Keith Thomson (.258, 2 HR, 16 RBI) will be out for all of June with a broken hand.
June 3 – Aging superstar TOP RF/LF Pablo Sanchez (.267, 0 HR, 15 RBI) will miss all of June with torn thumb ligaments. The 39-year-old 3-time Player of the Year has another year to go on his contract.

Complaints and stuff

The team ended May with six straight losses, which is unfortunate given that we were not all that ****ty (14-9) up until then, and in those six games they scored a total of nine runs. They also did not allow more than four runs in ANY of those six games, and STILL lost all of them. The losing streak has since ended, but the offense is still meh. For what it’s worth, we are 57 games into the season and still haven’t found anybody to get 30 RBI.

The medical report says that Adrian Reichardt will be able to go on rehab next week; it should only take him a few days to get back in the groove, and then he might be back with the team at the end of the week or early the following week.

Which brings up to Manny Fernandez, who hit a ton last week, and nothing this week. He was .450/.450/.800 his first week up; this time around, he amounted to a slash line of .087/.087/.217 … I tend to wager that his truth lies somewhere in between, but he’s a likely candidate for going back to St. Pete when Reichardt is ready. Of course, Ed Hooge is also here, and lightning could strike either one in this regard.

Next week: homestand against Indy, Pittsburgh.

Fun Fact: Even with Jimmy Wallace regularly running in the wrong direction on fly balls, the Raccoons are first in the league in defense.

He also merits continued monitoring given that he is leading the batting race in the CL. It looks like a breakout year for Wallace, the #59 pick by the Buffos in the 2026 draft, who we picked up in 2030 for Jose Menendez and assorted spare pieces. He made an uninspired debut the same fall, then had full seasons hitting a bit about league average the next two years (OPS+ respectively: 117 and 106). This year his OPS+ is 144, with a .321/.389/.474 slash line.

His fielding remains a nightmare, though, because he is well on pace to cost the team more than a full win just by wearing a glove on his head and trying to catch balls with his cap.

Out of curiosity, who did the Raccoons draft in ’26 ahead of Wallace? Our draft log tome declares that to be Jamie O’Leary and George Burke. The second-sacker AND second-rounder Burke has never played above AA ball and is currently a free agent. The hurler O’Leary was actually in the rotation for us in ’29, putting up the fantastic 2-11 record with a 4.32 ERA that got him deported to New York along with “Yusneldan” Delgadillo in The Great Chris Wise Robbery.

Wise is 10-7 with 72 saves and a 2.54 ERA for his career. Delgadillo retired this winter at age 30 (or so he claims…) with a 53-46 record and 4.04 ERA, also one save. He had that one great season in ’26 and then sucked ever after, a true one-hit wonder. O’Leary, currently rotting in AAA Lexington, is 4-17 with a 5.05 ERA in the majors.

I say it could have been worse!