[Westheim]

Raccoons (56-43) @ Aces (36-61) – July 26-28, 2033

Soundly rotten, the Aces were barely scoring 3.5 runs per game, which was of course not an attitude that lent itself to winning much of anything. It was the worst mark in the CL, just like their 4.9 R/A mark was, and their run differential was a whopping -139. They were crying out to be swept. The Coons would have to answer; so far we were 2-1 against Vegas this year.

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (8-6, 3.20 ERA) vs. Chris Guyett (7-13, 4.69 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (10-4, 3.28 ERA) vs. Josh Weeks (3-13, 5.68 ERA)
Ignacio del Rio (9-7, 3.45 ERA) vs. Howard Haws (5-10, 4.05 ERA)

Weeks was their only southpaw, and also the one with the worst ERA. Since both teams entered after an off day on Monday, they could skip him, although it would not get that much better down the road. The next limp arm on deck would be Jamie Klages (0-4, 4.22 ERA).

Game 1
POR: SS Ramos – CF M. Fernandez – RF Jennings – 1B Zitzner – LF Wallace – 3B Marsingill – 2B Vickers – C Thompson – P Sabre
LVA: SS Crow – 3B Armfield – CF Stedham – RF E. Martin – LF Montes – 2B Sibley – 1B Carman – C Scheffer – P Guyett

The Coons dared to strand Justin Marsingill on third base after their third-sacker du jour tripled with nobody out in the second inning. At least that move had already plated a pair, Travis Zitzner and Jimmy Wallace having occupied the corners with a pair of preceding base hits. Vickers walked after the Marsingill triple, but Thompson popped out, Sabre whiffed, and Ramos flew out to Andy Montes in left. The 4-5-6 batters all landed hits again with two outs in the top 3rd, but the inning ended with Zitzner being thrown out at home plate by Evan Martin on Marsingill’s single. Sabre did allow any hits the first time through; while he walked Jesse Stedham and Vince Carman, those were either caught stealing or doubled up. Martin landed a leadoff single in shallow right in the bottom 5th, but was doubled up by Montes’ grounder. The lead was 3-0 at that point; the top of the inning had seen Billy Jennings slap a leadoff single, steal second base, advance on Zitzner’s single, and come home on a sac fly by Wallace. The Coons had the sacks full with one out in the sixth then; Thompson had smacked a leadoff double, followed by Sabre flying out to center. Ramos was intentionally walked for the second time in the game; Fernandez had struck out to end the fourth the last time ‘round, but this time singled to left to bring up the thick of the lineup for a slam chance. No slam occurred; Jennings grounded to Ross Sibley, who sniffed two, but so did Manny and took out Andy Crow at second base to break up the play; Thompson scored. Zitzner then grounded out to Guyett, stranding two. The Aces countered with an infield single by Philip Scheffer in the bottom 6th… and then their third double play grounder of the day, Justin Nelson going 6-4-3. Wallace opened the top 7th with a double to center, only to be thrown out at third base in a case of “one bridge too far”, and while I groaned, Sabre seemed to have this one bagged. He retired Vegas in order in the seventh, and in the eighth, and then faced the bottom of the order in the ninth. Carman flew out to Fernandez, now in rightfield, but Scheffer walked in a full count. No drama yet, but Chris Wise started to windmill his front paws in the bullpen. Right-handed batter Danny Beckel pinch-hit in the #9 hole and poked the 1-0 pitch into play. To Ramos, to Vickers, to Zitzner – ballgame! 4-0 Raccoons! M. Fernandez 2-5; Zitzner 3-5, 2B; Wallace 3-3, 2B, RBI; Marsingill 2-4, 3B, 2 RBI; Thompson 2-4, 2B; Sabre 9.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 3 K, W (9-6);

Second career shutout for Raffaello Sabre! His first – a 5-hitter – had come against the Loggers in May.

Game 2
POR: SS Ramos – RF M. Fernandez – CF Reichardt – 1B Zitzner – 3B Marsingill – LF Jennings – C Garcia – 2B Vickers – P Chavez
LVA: SS Crow – 3B Armfield – CF Stedham – RF E. Martin – 2B Sibley – 1B LeClerc – LF J. Nelson – C Scheffer – P Weeks

Bernie Chavez channeled Mark Roberts in the worst way in the Wednesday affair, allowing five hits to the first five Aces that came up, and three of those left the yard as Crow singled, Chad Armfield homered to left, Stedham singled (and was picked off by Garcia), and Evan Martin and Ross Sibley both hit bombs to left. That made for a 4-0 hole and a plus-sized headache. The Coons were doing absolutely nothing against Weeks, who allowed two hits in four innings, while Chavez allowed nine in 3.2 innings, with Stedham’s RBI single to score Andy Crow in the bottom 4th the final nail in the coffin. David Fernandez retired Martin in a 5-0 game that looked very much lost, and I have to admit that I spent much of the middle and late innings on the phone and only paid passing attention to the dismal game in progress. Both teams scored a run in the fifth on three singles apiece, with Anaya cocking up the Aces’ run on a 2-out single by the opposing pitcher. Y’know – that sort of game…

We got nominally close in the sixth on Travis Zitzner’s 15th bomb of the year, a 2-run shot to left with two outs, scoring Fernandez, who had forced out Ramos with a poor grounder. But Anaya had one more right-handed bat to face to begin the bottom 6th, allowing a leadoff single to Armfield. Garavito came on, walked Stedham, got a 1-6-3 double play from Evan Martin, but conceded the Anaya run on Sibley’s 2-out double.

But just as I agreed with my fellow GM, handed our scout his phone back and nodded that “it was on”, the Coons tried one more rally in the top 8th from being down 7-3. Perkins had entered the game in a double switch in the bottom 7th and led off with a single. Ramos grounded near the third base line, unplayable – infield single. Weeks whiffed Fernandez, then got Reichardt to ground to Armfield – but he threw the ball past Justin LeClerc for a 2-base error. Now the soup was steaming – it was 7-4, runners in scoring position, and Zitzner at the plate with one out. And he certainly TRIED to hit that 3-run homer … but struck out. Marsingill grounded out to Crow – and that was the end of the rally attempts; Steve Bailey held them remarkably short in the ninth inning. 7-4 Aces. Ramos 3-4; Zitzner 3-4, HR, 2 RBI;

Interlude: Trade

The original lineup for Wednesday’s game didn’t have Jennings in it; instead, leftfield had been assigned to Noel Ferrero, batting eighth. But Ferrero was a late scratch, and not for injury reasons. While the game was underway*, the Raccoons traded Noel Ferrero (.250, 1 HR, 18 RBI) and recently voided SP Andy Palomares (6-7, 4.94 ERA, 1 SV) to the Capitals for SS/3b Bob Zeltser (.294, 4 HR, 31 RBI).

Zeltser [spelling: just like the second part of Alka Seltzer], 28 and a former #39 pick by the Miners, was an elite-level defender on the left side of the infield, for which there might be a range of applications. He was however also left-handed with the stick, and if the Raccoons needed one thing more like any other, it was a left-handed addition to their weird mix of third basemen, all three of which were right-handed (and don’t ignore Tim Stalker, who when healthy could also play there…). He had hit .300 several times in his career, sometimes even while qualifying for the batting title (but it was hard to win even best infielder on your own team when you’re stuck with Danny Santillano as teammate. He been with Washington since the 2031 season.

And no, the Caps wanted no piece of any of our existing third basemen. Another trade might be in the offing because they are making each other increasingly redundant, and only Marsingill has options.

Manny Fernandez agreed to switch to #27 (which was Rich Hereford’s number) to allow Zeltser to keep his #24. Zeltser was activated in time for the Thursday game and Maud in Portland was scurrying for a major press event on Friday morning, but we were now an outfielder short. I was willing to roll with it for a bit because Marsingill could and would readily play in rightfield.

Raccoons (56-43) @ Aces (36-61) – July 26-28, 2033

Game 3
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Zeltser – LF Wallace – 1B Zitzner – RF Jennings – CF Reichardt – 2B Marsingill – C Thompson – P del Rio
LVA: SS Crow – 3B Armfield – CF Stedham – RF E. Martin – LF Montes – 2B Sibley – 1B LeClerc – C Scheffer – P Haws

Ramos and Zeltser opened the game with singles before the 3-4-5 boys collectively pooped out. Or maybe popped out. My memory is blurred in that regard… Instead Marsingill would open the scoring with a solo homer in the second inning. The 1-0 lead stood through five innings then with del Rio holding the Aces to three hits, while the Coons had seven but kept not hitting in the clutch. Zitzner had two on with one out in the third, but hit into a double play. One run was stranded in the fourth, then two more in the fifth after Ramos had reached on an error, stolen second base, and had reached third on Zeltser’s groundout. Wallace was walked intentionally, forced out on a fielder’s choice, and Jennings popped out. So of course things would all go to **** at once in the bottom 6th. Armfield hit a leadoff single to right, Stedham tied the game with a double to left, and then Evan Martin emptied a 2-run homer, giving all seven Aces fans still awake a 3-1 lead.

The Critters kept plucking the same string into the late innings, putting Zeltser on with a 1-out single in the seventh and stranding him, too. Jennings then hit a leadoff single in the eighth. Adrian Reichardt slapped a 3-1 pitch at the third baseman, but it took a nasty hop off a pebble at the edge between turf and dirt and beat Armfield’s reflexes for a double to left. Finally, a lucky break! Jennings scored in the confusion, and the tying run was at second base with nobody out in a 3-2 game! The situation improved to runners on the corners with a Marsingill single. Manny Fernandez hit for Hennessy and did the bare minimum, getting the tying run home from third with a fielder’s choice to Sibley. He stole second then, Ramos was walked intentionally, and Zeltser grounded out to Justin LeClerc, ending the inning. The Aces put Martin and Sibley on the corners against David Fernandez in the bottom 8th, but Bates arrived in time to whiff LeClerc and get Scheffer to ground out, keeping the game tied.

Wallace made a solid bid for a tie-breaking bomb in the ninth, but the drive was caught at the fence by Martin. The other five outs in the ninth were all sad, sending the game to extras, where Anaya delivered two scoreless frames for Portland while the offense remained meh. Top 12th then, leadoff single for Jennings off Shinsaburo Matsubara, a righty with a 6.28 ERA. Well, will ya, now!? Nope. Reichardt flew out to left, Marsingill got the runner forced out at second, and Thompson grounded out to LeClerc. By the bottom 12th we had to offer up Chris Wise even with no lead on the board. The only other reliever left in the pen was Garavito, who had already logged five outs the previous game. He entered in a double switch with Hawkins, vacating Marsingill and his four hits from the #7 hole, but it was late, and we were running out of strings to pull. Wise had a quick 12th, then a not-so-quick 13th inning. Vince Carman singled out of the #3 hole to begin the latter. Wallace’s catch on Martin in deep left kept the Coons together, and Wise found his way out of the inning. The top 14th was like any other inning, some Coon hit a single (Wallace), then was grievously stranded. They had *16* base hits – and still only three runs. Wise squeezed another inning out of his well-rested arm, but that would be it; his spot was also leading off the 15th, with J.J. Ringland pitching for Vegas after three spiffy innings by the 6+ ERA reliever Matsubara, who now no longer had a 6+ ERA. Perkins walked. Thompson hit into a double play. Hawkins singled. Ramos grounded out. It seemed like they’d be able to do this all night long. The bottom 15th began with Garavito on the mound while Rico Gutierrez jogged out to the pen to get ready. He was the next starter up (although the plan had been to move Rosas ahead of him), but a relief appearance did not come to be. Chad Armfield hit a leadoff triple to right to begin the bottom 15th, and while Garavito struck out Carman, Evan Martin’s single hung the loss on him. 4-3 Aces. Zeltser 3-7; Wallace 3-6, BB; Marsingill 4-6, HR, 2B, RBI; Bates 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K; Anaya 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K; Wise 3.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Ramos and Thompson went 1-for-7. Zitzner went 0-for-7. The last two both also hit into a gut-tearing double play.

Boys – that was a ****ing **** game! Because you played ****ing ****!!

Raccoons (57-45) vs. Thunder (51-49) – July 29-31, 2033

Arriving home 1 1/2 games up in the North solely because the Titans had managed to get swept in Charlotte, scoring only four runs in the process, the Coons would meet the third-place Thunder to finish July. The Thunder were at 100 home runs, most in the league, but were scoring the fourth-most runs overall because they were not really into hitting for average. Their pitching was pretty much a mess with the second-worst rotation, a dim pen except for last year’s Critter Jared Stone (2-2, 1.55 ERA, 24 SV), and the second-most runs allowed. The season series was even at three.

Projected matchups:
Mario Rosas (13-4, 1.80 ERA) vs. Joe Robinson (8-5, 4.25 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (3-9, 4.24 ERA) vs. Scott Soviero (4-12, 6.93 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (9-6, 3.00 ERA) vs. Andy Jimenes (5-7, 3.69 ERA)

“Dude” Jimenes was the only right-hander on offer here; the series would start with us facing two southpaws.

Game 1
OCT: RF Celaya – CF Olszewski – 1B D. Cruz – C Burgess – LF Sagredo – SS Serrato – 2B A. Rojas – 3B Becker – P J. Robinson
POR: SS Zeltser – CF Reichardt – LF Wallace – 1B Zitzner – RF Marsingill – 2B Vickers – C Garcia – 3B Perkins – P Rosas

We were hoping for a gem by Rosas after two lengthy bullpen contributions in the last two days. Things went straight south, however, with Adrian Reichardt hurting himself on a sliding play right on the first ball put in play by Lorenzo Celaya. Manny Fernandez took over. Instead of being thoroughly subdued, the Thunder kept making loud contact. Drew Olszewski singled, Danny Cruz doubled, and Mike Burgess hit a 3-run bomb to stun the living **** out of everybody in attendance. Alex Serrato would hit a line drive single in the inning, but was stranded, and Thierry Becker and Olszewski both hit singles in the second, but were also stranded, bringing the total against Rosas to six hits rather fast. And it only got worse; Burgess and Sagredo hit line drive singles, Alfredo Rojas walked, and Thierry Becker doubled in the third for another two runs. Rosas continued his home debut with a bunt for a double play in the bottom 3rd, and would be excused from further display of inept pitching after five ****ty innings, which was also enough time to give the Coons ample opportunity to scatter four base hits in the most inefficient way possible. Nope, this game was lost, and everybody knew it.

Just when I was ready to consign myself to duty on Capt’n Coma’s mighty sloop, Zitzner teased everybody with a 2-run homer in the bottom 6th. The Coons responded by having Hennessy give up a pair in the seventh, his second inning of work. Danny Cruz hit his 23rd bomb, and singles put Luis Sagredo and Alex Serrato on the corners before Ed Blair took over, but surrendered a 2-out double to Rojas. Sagredo scored, Serrato was thrown out at home, which at least ended the inning and got me one step closer to try and blow my brains out with the blunderbuss. Blair cocked up another run on three base hits in the eighth, and it was an 8-2 game heading into the bottom 9th where the team got everybody’s hopes up at first when Ramos hit for David Fernandez – in his third losing effort in a row – and walked off righty Marcos Ochoa. Vickers singled to left, and Thompson hit for Garcia and hit an RBI double to right, which all occurred with no outs and made the tying run appear as the guy munching a sandwich with a bat over his shoulder on the dugout steps – yes, Bob Zeltser had no issues fitting right in! Perkins slapped a 3-1 pitch past the reach of shortstop Antonio Felicame for an RBI single, 8-4, and that got Jared Stone out in a save chance. He struck out Jennings, but lost Zeltser on balls. Manny Fernandez batted as the tying run, 1-for-4 after technically coming off the bench. He chucked a comebacker at 1-2 that Stone took for the out at home, doubting he’d get two. Manny legged out Burgess’ throw to first. Wallace grounded out to Rojas to complete the team’s third straight defeat. 8-4 Thunder. Wallace 2-5; Thompson (PH) 1-1, 2B, RBI; Perkins 4-4, 2B, RBI;

The Raccoons were now down to a half-game lead again, and also to three functional outfielders, but no satisfying trade could be arranged at short notice and we weren’t into the idea of sending Marsingill (.313, 3 HR, 30 RBI) to AAA to get up something like, well, Ryan Allan?

Preston Pinkerton was not an option – he had hit the DL with a back strain.

Dr. Chung? Dr. Chung!? – Any news on Reichardt? – What do you mean, “it’s hopeless”, and “capitalism has rotted his soul”??

Game 2
OCT: RF Celaya – CF Olszewski – 1B D. Cruz – C Burgess – LF Sagredo – SS Serrato – 2B A. Rojas – 3B Becker – P Soviero
POR: SS Ramos – RF Marsingill – CF M. Fernandez – 1B Zitzner – LF Jennings – 2B Vickers – 3B Perkins – C Garcia – P Gutierrez

Panic gripped Portland as the Coons tried to stop the bleeding with Rico Gutierrez, which hadn’t been a potent plan since we had only two championships. Bad weather joined the nauseous mix and within an inning, an Alex Serrato homer, and a walk to Rojas in the top 2nd we were in a 40-minute rain delay. Everything was running into the gutter – everything. When play resumed, Thierry Becker singled to left, and the Thunder ended up getting a Celaya sac fly eventually to go up 2-0. While the Coons tied the game in the bottom 2nd on a Perkins homer, the second run was unearned; Jennings had reached on an error by Alex Serrato. Gutierrez walked a pair in the third and surrendered the go-ahead run on a Rojas single that glanced off Perkins’ glove before finding leftfield, and it just wasn’t going to get any better, was it…?

Stupid **** would afflict both teams, though; while on the their own the Critters were inept to take the heat to a pitcher with an ERA near seven, they’d get Perkins on base with a narrow double in right-center, meaning Celaya almost made the catch, but overran the dinker and Olszewski had to pick up the slack behind him. That was with two outs; Garcia was put on intentionally, and Gutierrez hit the most terrible bloop to shallow left, and it dropped *right* on the line for an RBI single, tying the score at three. Ramos drew his third walk of the game, filling the bags, but Celaya had no trouble with Marsingill’s ****ty fly ball, stranding all the runners. Top 5th, Gutierrez had his abdomen semi-surgically opened and all the contents removed by the Thunder, who got Cruz on with a soft leadoff single before with one out both Sagredo and Serrato hit RBI triples over Marsingill’s head. Bates replaced Gutierrez, who was booed by the crowd as he left the field, head hanging, with the TV feed clearly catching somebody screaming “**** stain” at him, and maybe it was me. Rojas scored the runner from third with a groundout, extending the lead to 6-3, and Becker doubled to center, clearing the pitcher’s spot, too. Who wrote this ****ing scouting report that they weren’t ****ing hitting?? It’s the fifth inning on Saturday, and they are on TWENTY-SIX ****ING HITS ALREADY!!??

After another run fell out of Bates in the sixth, 7-3, the Coons saw Perkins draw a walk off Soviero in the bottom 6th. Garcia singled, and when Zeltser came out to pinch-hit the Thunder went for a fresh left-hander in Tony Gallardo. Zeltser flew out to left, but Ramos walked with two outs (tying the franchise record in the process). Marsingill AGAIN was up with three on and two outs… and got nailed by Gallardo. Well, that’s one run. You must hit four more to give us the lead! Fernandez flew out to right, stabbing another knife into my soul. All the losing was bad enough to get Chris Wise engaged in the ninth inning. He hit Burgess, walked two, and allowed a run on a Liam Riley sac fly to blend in seamlessly with the other dismal performers. Bottom 9th, down by a slam, Manny Fernandez drew a leadoff walk off Jimmy Jackson, a right-hander. Zitzner hit into a double play. Jennings singled. Wallace pinch-hit and grounded out to Rojas… and if the Thunder had needed two at that point, they would have gotten two, too. 8-4 Thunder. Ramos 0-1, 4 BB; Jennings 2-5; Perkins 2-3, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Hawkins 1-1, 2B;

…!

(spins round and round in his office chair, hugging both Honeypaws and a bottle of Capt’n Coma)

Game 3
OCT: RF Celaya – CF Olszewski – 1B D. Cruz – C Burgess – LF Sagredo – SS Serrato – 2B Riffer – 3B Becker – P Jimenes
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Zeltser – LF Wallace – 1B Zitzner – CF M. Fernandez – 2B Marsingill – RF Jennings – C Thompson – P Sabre

Celaya hit a soft single, stole two bases, and scored on Cruz’ sac fly to put the Thunder right back on top in the first, and he casually also overtook Ramos in stolen bases for the season. Berto opened the bottom 1st with a single, but was forced out on Zeltser’s grounder before he could even think of getting back even. Jimmy Wallace however walloped a ball over the fence in center, putting the Coons up 2-1 anyway. Sabre didn’t blow the lead immediately, leaving the best, presumably for last, but with Jennings and Thompson on second and first in the bottom of the second inning, and nobody out, bunted into a force at third base. One of those neat tricks to drive the GM nuts, always a classic, too. Ramos grounded out, Zeltser flew out, nobody scored.

It was another wringer game in the sense that everybody watching was put through said wringer, no matter your allegiance. The Thunder got Olszewski on with a 2-out single in the third, and Danny Cruz hit a ball off the fence so hard that the runner couldn’t score on the double. Just when Sabre looked like he’d be toppled now, Burgess miserably popped out, stranding the runners in scoring position. Celaya would almost behead him with a straight shot up the middle for a 2-out single in the fifth, but Sabre held the 2-1 lead together through five, and on only 60 pitches. There was still a chance for a W that would at the same time recover the pen …! …and while insurance runs hadn’t been the Critters’ specialty in a while, maybe Ramos and Zeltser reaching the corners via leadoff singles in the bottom 5th could persuade the middle of the order to get one or both of them home, even if entirely by accident…! Wallace hit an awful roller near the mound that kept Ramos from charging, but Jimenes only got the force on Zeltser and runners remained on the corners. This was true after Zitzner’s pop to second, too. I was banging my fists on the desk in raging fury, and finally willed ****ing Manny Fernandez to snap an RBI single into leftfield, 3-1 …! Slappy had enough of the madness and went to grab a mop and bucket somewhere, and Marsingill struck out to strand another pair.

Top 6th, Sabre rung up Cruz, whiffed Burgess, had Sagredo at 1-2 and nailed him, and then gave up the cushion on a Serrato doubled, also on two strikes. Ben Riffer, an absolute nobody I was now penciling in to drive in the dagger in the ninth, popped out. That inning ruined Sabre’s pitch count, though, and after seven he was at 102. The situation in the pen was really dire and he was sent out for the eighth. Olszewski singled on his first pitch. That should have prompted a reliever to be washed forth from the pen, but didn’t. Cruz singled the runner to third base, and Burgess hit a sac fly to tie the game. A spiritually beaten Sabre was removed for Hennessy, who nailed Sagredo, then was yanked in favor of Ed Blair. Left-handed batter Steve Cutler hit for Serrato, but struck out. Riffer did NOT get a chance to drive in the dagger, with Ruben Orozco batting for him. He, too, fell to 0-2, then mauled a breaking ball in the middle of the plate for a 3-run homer. That was surely going to be the game. While the Coons brought the tying run to the plate in the bottom 8th with Jennings and Thompson on base, Rich Vickers hit into an inning-ending 4-6-3. In the ninth, the tying run was up again, then with two outs (yay, no double play!) with a Zeltser hit and Zitzner getting nicked. Fernandez had been removed in a double switch, so Garavito was pinch-hit for with Justin Perkins against Jared Stone, who missed far outside in a full count, loading the bags for Marsingill. He hit the 0-1 to deep center. But of course he wasn’t going to beat Olszewski… 6-3 Thunder. Ramos 2-5; Zeltser 2-5; Wallace 3-5, HR, 2 RBI; Thompson 2-3, BB;

In other news

July 26 – In the mother of all wicked games, the Knights beat the Crusaders, 8-7, in *20* innings. RF Cesar Martinez (.280, 4 HR, 12 RBI) plates the winning run with a single off NYC MR Matt Holliday (6-2, 5.63 ERA, 1 SV) in the top of the 20th. After ceasing regulation scoring in a 4-4 tie in the fourth, both teams had plated runs in the 13th and 15th innings, but had remained tied throughout.
July 26 – The Scorpions send SP Bryce Neal (6-10, 4.18 ERA) to the Miners for 26-year-old AAA infielder Adam Downs, who has five career homers in the majors in 120 games.
July 27 – One day after his late-late heroics, Atlanta sends 38-yr old RF Cesar Martinez (.280, 4 HR, 12 RBI) and a prospect to the Crusaders for versatile pitcher Erik David (4-4, 2.63 ERA, 18 SV).
July 27 – The Falcons swap CF/LF Travis Adkins (.282, 0 HR, 29 RBI) to the Capitals for INF Omar Camacho (.275, 4 HR, 17 RBI) and a dim prospect.
July 27 – The Loggers send 1B Andy Sears (.281, 9 HR, 44 RBI) to the Stars for OF Nick Baker (.255, 1 HR, 7 RBI).
July 27 – DAL LF/RF Marco Nieves makes his ABL debut in the bottom 10th of the Stars’ 3-2 win over the Capitals as pinch-runner for 1B Daniel Leeder (.386, 2 HR, 17 RBI), and coming from third base gets a frontpage shot immediately when he slides under a diving WAS CL Ruben Vela (2-1, 1.75 ERA, 20 SV) to walk off the Stars after Vela’s wild pitch is returned too late by backstop Nate Evans.
July 28 – The Crusaders pick up SP Jeremy Truett (10-5, 3.27 ERA) from the Canadiens, leaving them with two prospects, including #35 SP Phil Padgett.
July 29 – The Crusaders also acquire SP Francisco Colmenarez (7-10, 3.27 ERA) from the Loggers, parting with three prospects.
July 29 – The Titans split with 1B Justin Uliasz (.234, 8 HR, 45 RBI), who gets sent to San Francisco for MR Alan Mays (2-2, 3.51 ERA, 2 SV) and a prospect.
July 29 – Los Angeles adds SP Alfredo Vargas (6-7, 4.71 ERA) from the Blue Sox, who receive two prospects.
July 29 – The Blue Sox instead grab SP Gabriel Lara (7-9, 3.94 ERA) from the Knights, sending them a prospect in return.
July 29 – In another deal, the Blue Sox snatch veteran LF/RF Doug Stross (.305, 3 HR, 12 RBI) from the Scorpions, parting with four prospects.
July 29 – The Falcons pick up SP John Rucker (8-8, 4.26 ERA) from the Stars in a trade for INF/LF Jay Green (.239, 2 HR, 19 RBI) and a prospect.
July 30 – The Wolves acquire CL Chris Myers (2-4, 3.40 ERA, 32 SV) from the Loggers for a prospect.
July 31 – TIJ RF/LF/1B Willie Ojeda (.306, 7 HR, 46 RBI) enters the record books with a 3-homer game, putting the hurt on the Titans by driving in four runs in the Condors’ 9-1 win.
July 31 – NAS 3B Jim Allen (.367, 7 HR, 77 RBI) slugs two doubles, three singles, and drives in five runs in the Blue Sox’ 15-9 win over the Warriors.

Complaints and stuff

Alright… (is still visibly red in the face) … there were a few losses (is also bleeding from his lower lip) … and we were outscored by a million to one… (has visibly cried) … and maybe if I can get all my ducks in a row I’ll park my car on the freeway on the way home and walk into traffic… (doesn’t know yet that Maud has taken his keys away) … but this was absolutely horrendous…!

Bob Zeltser was *not* the infielder I had my eyes on initially. That would have been Lazaro Hernandez of the damn Elks, but they demanded one of several promising prospects in addition to Palomares, and a promising prospect was not something I was going to leave the damn Elks with so they could torture us with him for the next 15 years… They *did* however try to unload Brian Wojnarowski, who would be an interesting pickup under different circumstances (though filthily expensive), but we really had no use for another lefty outfielder. They would have dealt Wojnarowski for Palomares straight-up.

Zeltser made $1.2M this season; he comes with a contract through ’35 for $1.62M per year. But I hear Valdes would make funds available for a *winning* team so this should not be a problem. Also, Steve from Accounting is currently allocating – dutifully, I must stress – just over $2M to Rico Gutierrez, which will not happen; next season is Rico’s first of two team options.

So that was supposed to be our grand winning move. However, they haven’t done much winning since that deal, have they?? I have invited one of our advance scouts for a little talk about this issue; it’s Thusnelda, our gypsy woman specializing in screening players for curses and other dark inflictions. She is also refusing to take a seat, because her golden earring would otherwise hit the ground. – Thusnelda, I must have answers about Zeltser! – Why does the team suddenly lose to each and everybody? – No-no-no-no-no! Don’t you point your finger at me! – No, don’t talk in Romanian to me either!! – We must fix this immediately, no matter how many kittens it takes!! – Don’t you … don’t you storm out on me!! (storms after Thusnelda, who blends through the door without opening it, both bickering at each other)

(in a corner of the office, Cristiano Carmona sits alone in his wheelchair with a bag of cookies, thoroughly bewildered by what he just saw)

Fun Fact: 21 years ago today, R.J. DeWeese hit for the cycle in the Cyclones’ 8-7 loss to the Warriors.

(opens mouth)

(closes mouth)

*One of my embellishments to liven up the narrative. The trade was actually made before the game.