[pauwoo]

Vancouver Giants (29-28, .509, 3rd AL West) @ Miami United (30-29, .508, 4th NL East)
This three-game set against the injury-depleted, yet still solid, Vancouver Giants will serve as the opening salvo of what will be a 20-game stretch without a day off where we will contest 17 of those 20 games in Miami. And, while the prospect of playing 17 of 20 at home is always welcome, I’d be remiss not to mention that, over that stretch, we’ll be welcoming some heavy hitters, like Pittsburgh and STL, to town. There is no rest for the wicked… and kicking things off against the soundly constructed Vancouver Giants is not the way I would’ve drawn it up. Here is a club that is solid or better in every important statistical category even while they have several key players languishing on the IL… and they have some real pop too – 1st in HRs, t-3rd for runs scored, and a +7.8 base running rating. Vancouver is the type of club that gives game-planners fits… there isn’t any one thing that pops out, nothing that you can tell your notoriously attention-deficient players to focus on – this is a club that is a jack of all trades, master of none. They can beat you in any number of ways, are patient, content to just pick away at you until they steal a win at the end. They are the Lions Gate Bridge personified – they don’t look like much as you approach them and can’t really be appreciated until you look over the side once you’ve reached its apex. Vancouver is no joke, but if they’re looking for a punchline, they may find that we’re their huckleberry.

60 of 162: Adam Gunter (5-2, 4.32) @ Radoslav Borovsky (3-4, 3.55)
Loss, 6-3. And so, it begins… the season of our discontent. Radoslav gave up 4 runs in 7 innings of work, doled out two free passes, and sent 7 betters back to the visitors’ dugout with their heads hung low… but, C Laz Braun hit a 3 run homer off him in the 7th that put Vancouver up for good and Adam Gunter was strong over 8 innings of work. Felger hit our only extra-base hit, a double, in the 9th that served as a mini-rally for our guys who managed to put up a couple of runs in the frame… too little, too late – the story of my life here lately.

Elsewhere: Palmer Parker, of the Philadelphia 76ers, went 4 for 4 with a triple, a dinger, 3 RBIs, and 2 runs in his clubs 8-6 win over the always tough Golden State Warriors. Palmer’s torrid start to the 2079 campaign continues… he’s currently batting .381 with 11 homers, 43 RBIs, and is trending to an 8.7 WAR. With one Boyce Rigg already under his belt – P-Squared is doing his level best to give Pittsburgh’s Tom Franzone a run for his money in 2079. Oh, and this is important, Palmer’s contract has a player opt-out included after the 2079 season. It’ll be interesting to see where he ends up.

61 of 162: Burt McElheny (7-3, 2.95) @ Kordell Littles (3-4, 5.04)
Loss, 3-0. 2 of the 3 runs that were charged to Kordell’s account in this one came by way of solo-HR, bringing his 2079 HRA total up to 8 for the season… he was, otherwise, a cut above serviceable for us here. Big Burt had us on a string for 8 innings, he let us put some balls in play for the Giants defense to feast on – we hit into 4 double-plays, got caught stealing twice, and only drew two total walks… where’s our hometown ump? For the second game in a row, we only managed one EBH, a double for Oli Woodward, while the Giants hit 3 doubles and two home runs. This is not how you want to start off a 20-game stretch…

Trade Alert: Yan Welli pulled the trigger on a trade with the Portland Timbers… adding some pitching depth to the big club by acquiring LHP Thomas Deane in return for a low-key, low-upside minor league catcher, Darby Helton, and a CL, Johnson Rivers, who may one day be a top-tier close-out guy. I’d have liked to have kept Rivers, but, let’s be honest – closers, in Strangeverse, aren’t hard to come by. This ‘verse produced a disproportionate amount of high-upside, lockdown closers it seems… with the addition of Deane, Ash Newman heads back to the bullpen.

62 of 162: AJ Hinson (2-5, 6.37) @ Jimmy Garcia (0-0, 3.60)
Loss, 8-4. Vancouver arrived in town in possession of a large, thick shop broom whose bristly head rivals that of Big Burt’s Magnum P.I. inspired mustache, and, when given the opportunity to use it they didn’t hesitate. Getting swept at the outset of our sturdiest stretch of break-free games of the 2079 campaign is far from ideal, but this is the life I signed up for when I followed Elvira to Miami, transfixed by her gait and held in a state of hypnosis by her choice of perfume… a life where Vancouver’s AJ Hinson hangs a CG on us, one where former Laker, Arnold Webster, scores on us three times and hits a 2-run moonshot, and, finally, a life where Ethan Masson can and will go 3 for 4 with a double and two RBIs of his own… outside of Felger’s double, Magee’s triple, and a steal from Scharmer we didn’t offer much in the way of resistance in this one as Garcia gave up 5 runs before handing it off to Saul Guzman who gave up three more of his own… and all on a night when my marketing department thought it would be a good idea to offer our fan-favorite shrimp ceviche and chowder bacon fries combo at half off. It sounds like a good idea, right? Well, when you run out of the special of the day before the 5th inning, squelch a mini-riot on the concession concourse, and get swept in front of your home fans all on the same day, I think we can definitively say that our marketing department needs a talent infusion that rivals the one our club is in need of.

Notes: We’ve now lost 4 straight games, are 7 ½ games off Pittsburgh’s pace, and have dipped back below .500 for the season… 2-8 over our last 10. SMH. I’ll be spending all my time avoiding Elvira after we return from a short, 3-game set in Leonard Cohen country for 14-straight home games. I’ll need a new place to stay – my only recourse to avoid Elvira and her bodyguard if they were to pay me a visit on the houseboat would be to jump off, and, well, I’m no Jacque Cousteau when it comes to swimming and this houseboat ain’t no Calypso.