[pauwoo]

Miami United (49-50, .495, 4th NL East) @ San Diego Chargers (48-49, .495, 3rd NL West)
It takes nearly 6 hours to reach San Diego from Miami by plane… six long hours with nothing to do but watch old Office re-runs and think about all the things that Yan and I still need to accomplish if we are to turn this thing into a winner. Our most immediate concern is power – we have none, we’re mired in the stone ages relying on the sun for light and heat – unable to generate it for ourselves. The problem is that there is not a lot of power available for a price we can afford. We’ve brought in a couple of guys prior to this trip – LF Verne Morey and 3B Reuben Johnson. Neither one is an everyday guy, but, if all goes according to plan, they’ll provide us with a little bit of pop off the bench when we need it. Interesting side note… San Diego is +7 against the Pythagorean. The next closest team is the Golden State Warriors at +5 – that house of cards will get scattered in the wind soon enough.

100 of 162: Lucas Brandt (4-6, 3.23) @ Peter Garcia (5-9, 4.92)
Loss, 9-2. Look, getting beat, by pretty much anyone, isn’t really the most surprising result – but, getting crushed like this – well, I didn’t expect us to come out so soft and limp. I’d like to blame it on the beach, on our guys getting caught up in the allure of paradise – but, I can’t… because we’re from paradise and we haven’t been in this one long enough to cause any grief for ourselves. Instead, I’ll just chalk this one up to being unprepared and woefully unmotivated. We just can’t lose like this to a club like San Diego… it undermines the wolf tickets we’re trying to sell to our fans in Miami.

101 of 162: Rad Taylor (2-1, 4.68) @ Cason Torres (14-3, 3.76)
Loss, 5-4. Rad pitched well, again, in giving us an 8 inning, 6-hit, and 2 earned run performance… but, just like last time he took the mound, our bullpen failed him in this one. CL Harvey Allen gave up 2 runs in the bottom of the 9th and Danny Switzer, pitching in the bottom of the 11th, gave up a run-scoring sacrifice fly to Cash Crouch, who we sent their way prior to this series for LF Verne Morey… So, Cash ruled everything around us in the end and Verne didn’t play. Kyle Weaver went 3 for 5 with 2 RBIs and Anaconda drove one in on a double.

Elsewhere: The Cowboys’ Burton Darden, heir to the restaurant empire, went 4 for 4 with 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, and 2 runs in Dallas’s 9-7 loss to the Jacksonville Jaguars. Jo Jo Jackson went 0 for 4 during the game but only struck out once. LA’s (Kings not Cosmonauts) SP Aiden Jensen pitched a gem against the Steelers – he gave the Kings 8 strong ones while allowing only 1 runner to score on 7 total hits… he also fanned 10 Pittsburgh batsmen. Houston’s Pete Taylor, Rad’s estranged half-brother, was suspended for 6-games as a result of his part in a fracas in Philadelphia. The bench-clearing brawl was the result of an intentional beanball hucked by Taylor. Patricio Sanchez folded him up like a lawn chair during the melee – hardly seems fair that Pete has to miss 6-games (1 start) after getting worked over on regional television.

102 of 162: Radoslav Borovsky (7-5, 3.04) @ Artyom Fadeyev (3-10, 6.97)
Loss, 13-1. Wow. I don’t know what to say about this one. We got crushed like the can that we are here – swept out of San Diego like yesterday’s trash… Fadeyev accomplished the curious task of pitching a complete, 1-run game where he allowed only 4 total hits while not striking a single batter out – awkward, Boogie Barnett, the future of our league, went 2 for 5 with a 2-run dinger and 2 runs of his own, and Rich Morgan went 3 for 4 with 2 jacks, 6 riblets, and 3 runs in the win. Our pitching continued its abysmal showing – 5 earned for Radoslav, 5 more for Sebastian Sibley in relief, and three late runs were charged to Cullen Craig’s permanent record before this one was in the books. We really gave a poor account of ourselves in San Diego – looking forward to boarding that plane to Miami, taking a day off, and then getting back at it against a visiting Brooklyn club that we’ve had some good success against so far in 2079.

Elsewhere: RF King Disney went 3 for 3 with 2 dingers, 3 RBIs, and 4 runs in the Austin Grackles 12-0 win over the Salem Silverbacks. The amazingly named King Disney is a product of Villanova, was drafted 115th overall by the Dallas Cowboys in ‘76, and, after nearly 4 seasons languishing in the minors, may be ready to make the jump to the big time.

Note: After being unceremoniously swept to the side by the San Diego Chargers, your Miami Flim Flam’s are ranked 20th on the weekly power ranking… we’re finding ways to experience new depths of despair. Bright side? There are four other teams that suck more than we do.