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First Day On The Job
I came across a nice fellow who just appeared to have robbed the announcers booth while walking to my office today. I've been told that we can't afford to pay announcers, so we probably didn't need that equipment anyway. I told the then sprinting robber to slow down so I could get a better look at him. He had to be at least 55 or 60, with long, wet jet black hair. He was wearing aviator sunglasses, and although I couldn't see his eyes, I could tell he wasn't happy about the interruption.
With a telescope, microphone and notebook in hand, he told me:
"Don't interrupt a master practicing his craft, broski." Fresno weirdo count: 1
Maybe that was Old Bill? Whoever it was, I bet more people would watch us on TV if he was our actual announcer.
I spent an hour or two waiting for the manager to come to my dank little office with a report on the roster, but then realized I might end up waiting forever considering the manager failed to even show up to half of our games last year. Apparently that's where 40 of our 50 wins came from. I did, however, have another encounter with the weirdo. I mistakenly forgot to lock my door, so when I heard something that sounded like a giant snake slithering against my door and screeching, I was prepared to call my family and tell them I love them. Thankfully, it was just the robber. "Become one with Xenu, broski. Let the thetans get you down, and you shall live a life of endless suffering. The Galactic Confederacy has a spot open just for you, if you make the choice to ascend from this Earth." He straightened up and fixed his tone of voice, trying hard to sound like a normal human being. "With that in mind, here's our roster. You can find me in the announcer's booth."
Weird encounters in Fresno: 2
Normal encounters in Fresno: 0
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