[Westheim]

Raccoons (25-23) @ Aces (31-18) – June 2-4, 2036

Nope, dunno what lit fire under the Aces’ bums recently, and I am none too keen to find out, either. Their numbers were impressive, sitting in the top 3 in both runs scored and runs allowed in the CL, but they had also lost four in a row now and two of three to the Critters the first time around this year. They had however suffered a few injuries, losing SP Jamie Klages and SP Antonio Vega long-term, while outfielder Evan Martin was also currently on the shelf (but hadn’t hit much when he was in the lineup…). The Raccoons hadn’t posted a winning week since the start of May and they were unlikely to do so this week against this opposition.

Projected matchups:
Gene Tennis (1-1, 3.55 ERA) vs. Matt Diduch (4-2, 3.14 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (4-2, 3.57 ERA) vs. John Jackson (2-1, 3.26 ERA)
Colt Willes (5-1, 2.32 ERA) vs. Chris Crowell (4-5, 2.72 ERA)

All southpaws in their rotation right now. Even the Coons had more variety since the arrival of Gene Tennis and all of his two major league starts.

Game 1
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Myers – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – LF Hooge – 1B Luna – 2B Vickers – P Tennis
LVA: CF M. Hall – RF Jorgensen – 2B Briones – 1B Marz – C Kuehn – LF J. Nelson – SS Schneider – 3B Stedham – P Diduch

Mike Hall’s single and a walk to Mario Briones already put two Aces on the bases before Tennis fell to 3-0 against John Marz in the bottom of the first. Marz poked, hit a quick turf bouncer to Dave Myers, and the Critters got some 5-4-3 relief they wouldn’t have gotten on grass. The Aces hit three more singles off Tennis in the bottom 2nd, but Justin Nelson also hit into another double play, 6-4-3, right after Paul Kuehn’s leadoff single to left, so they failed to score again once Diduch went down on strikes with runners on the corners.

Diduch faced the minimum the first time through, but walked Berto to begin the fourth. The Coons’ shortstop stole second, then circled around when Dave Myers singled to right, and scored… while Kuehn fell onto him with the ball. While late, he surely knocked out Berto, who rolled into a ball behind home plate and had to be carted off in a litter. Tim Stalker took over in the leadoff spot… While the Raccoons were already grimly concerned about losing another key player, Justin Fowler hit his first homer and got his first RBI back from the DL in the same inning, a 2-spot to left, and his seventh of the season, which wasn’t THAT bad for a guy that had missed 20 games already. However, up 3-0, Tennis folded immediately. He walked Kuehn to begin the bottom 4th and then got dismembered first by the Aces, who scored on a Justin Nelson triple, got Brian Schneider on with an infield single, and got a sac fly from Jesse Stedham, and eventually his own defense when Dave Myers fudged a Mike Hall bouncer with two down. That should have ended the inning, but the ravaging continued, and Tennis gave up run-scoring hits to Steve Jorgensen and Mario Briones to find himself 4-3 behind. Marz struck out in a full count to end the inning, but the damage was definitely done… Tennis just barely got through five innings, ending the fifth like the second with a K to Diduch with runners on the corners, then was quietly replaced afterwards.

Next, Antonio Prieto was exploded by the Aces; Mike Hall opened the sixth with a triple to left, then scored on a Jorgensen double. A wild pitch advanced that runner, there was a Briones sac fly, 6-3, Marz reached on a Morales error, and Nelson doubled home ANOTHER run. David Fernandez replaced Prieto, allowed singles to Schneider and Stedham for another run, 8-3, then somehow got Manny Fernandez to catch a Diduch blooper in shallow right to end that ****ter of an inning… Amazingly enough, the Coons got the tying run to the plate in the seventh inning. Hooge, Vickers, and Maruyama hit singles to load the bases, and Tim Stalker legged out an infield roller on which Jeff McNatt at third base had no play whatsoever. It was an 8-4 game, and Myers batted with three on and one out, but his fly to deep left was caught by Nelson. Vickers scored for a sac fly, and Fernandez hit an RBI single up the middle, bringing up Fowler with two outs. Fowler squeezed out a walk, which loaded the bases, after which Tony Morales flew to left, and Nelson had that one easily, stranding three in an 8-6 game. For the umpteenth time, however, Dusty Kulp derailed a ballgame when he pitched in the bottom of the inning. Hall singled, Jorgensen walked, and John Marz hit a 3-piece. That was the final dagger.

Or you’d think so. Top 9th, the Coons started down by five against Jerry Hodges. Stalker singled. Myers singled. Fernandez hit an RBI double to left, 11-7. Exit Hodges, bring on the left-hander Seth Odum and his 0.76 ERA. He was probably not on for Fowler, but rather for the three lefty bats after that for whatever Fowler left on base. He poked at the first pitch, grounding it to right, where Briones lunged and knocked the ball down, but had no play at first base – RBI infield single, and now the tying run was at the plate with no outs. Tony Morales sloshed a bouncer up the middle for an RBI single (in Portland, that’s an out, and maybe two), before Kurt Wall batted for Hooge. He flew out to deep center, while Pinkerton grounded out in Luna’s place; both moves combined scored Fowler, 11-10, and Morales was on second base for Vickers with two outs. The game ended with Vickers looking at a 2-2 strike. 11-10 Aces. Stalker 2-3, RBI; Myers 3-3, BB, 2 RBI; M. Fernandez 2-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Fowler 2-4, BB, HR, 3 RBI; Morales 2-5, RBI; Maruyama (PH) 1-1;

Five straight losses, not counting Berto.

This was the 300th career save for Seth Odum, who was in his 15th season in the majors, but only the second in the Continental League. He was a 4-time All Star with a 3.15 ERA and had won a ring with the ’32 Pacifics.

Berto wasn’t diagnosed by Tuesday, with Dr. Chung declaring he wouldn’t look at him if he didn’t at least bleed profusely out of the abdomen.

Game 2
POR: 3B Myers – LF Hooge – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 2B Stalker – C Wall – 1B Luna – SS Marsingill – P Sabre
LVA: RF Jorgensen – 1B Stedham – CF M. Hall – 2B Briones – LF J. Nelson – C Wiersma – 3B J. Bennett – SS Ackeret – P J. Jackson

Another leadoff man went down to injury in this game at Flanders Fields that saw Steve Jorgensen jamming his leg or knee or foot or whatever when he slid into third base and Dave Myers on a 1-out triple in the bottom 3rd. He was replaced with Carlos Flores from the far end of the bench, while Stedham singled home the pinch-runner to tie the game at one – earlier in the same inning, Ed Hooge had tripled and scored on a Fernandez sac fly. Not much else happened until the score went from 1-1 to 2-2 in the sixth inning as Justins Fowler and Nelson exchanged solo homers for their eighth and sixth of the year, respectively. Will Luna narrowly missed his first major league dinger and RBI in his third game when he clobbered a ball off the top of the fence in rightfield for a 1-out double in the seventh. Marsingill hit a blooper near the leftfield line for an RBI single, giving the Coons their third lead of the game to blow. And while John Jackson misdirected Sabre’s bunt to add a second runner to the bases, Dave Myers sure-pawedly hit into a 6-4-3 double play to clean up…

Jackson legged out an infield single to begin the bottom 7th, but Marz hit into a double play when he batted for Flores in the #1 spot. Sabre rang up Jorgensen to end the inning, which also saw him exceed 100 pitches. 25-year-old catcher and afterthought Ken Wiersma, batting all of .162, would break up the W for Sabre when he hit a 2-out triple in the gap in the bottom 8th after Briones had already singled off Casey Moore, the other half of the no-good right-handed bullpen additions that kept breaking each and every lead they got into. Yeom Soung would hold up in the ninth, sending a 3-3 game to extra innings, where the Raccoons did zero against Natanael Abrao in the top 10th before having to send Garavito against right-handers in the bottom of the inning. Briones hit a leadoff double, Nelson flew out to Fowler. That brought up Wiersma again – just walk him, I say. Garavito didn’t, and instead Wiersma singled up the middle to end the game. 4-3 Aces. Fowler 2-4, HR, RBI; Sabre 7.0 IP, 7 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 6 K;

Six losses in a row. It’s getting old, boys!

Game 3
POR: 3B Myers – LF Hooge – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – 2B Vickers – SS Stalker – 1B Maruyama – P Willes
LVA: CF M. Hall – 1B Stedham – 2B Briones – C Kuehn – LF J. Nelson – 3B Schneider – RF Beckel – SS O’Keefe – P Crowell

The Coons kept scoring first – here with Morales singling home Myers, who along with Fowler had walked in the first inning – which created excitement waiting for the inevitable screw-up. Willes didn’t implode right away, which was progress, and instead Manny Fernandez hit a 2-piece with Hooge aboard in the third inning to make it 3-0. Fowler doubled, still with nobody out, and scored on two groundouts, 4-0. That sounded almost like a challenge …

Danny Beckel hit a 2-out, 2-run double in the fourth, cutting the lead in half. It was his first hit of ’36, as he had been recalled as replacement for Jorgensen. At least Chris O’Keefe struck out… Bottom 6th, a Vickers error put Briones on base to begin the inning, and that couldn’t be good. Kuehn singled, I screamed, but Fowler got up with a Nelson drive and while Briones advanced to third base on that, the tying runs were merely on the corners yet and not high-fiving in the ****ing home team’s dugout. Brian Schneider walked, filling the bags, but relief came from Beckel, who grounded to short, where Stalker ****ed the PERFECT 6-4-3 ball into an error. A run scored as he chased the ball across the infield, and the score narrowed to 4-3. An Aces attendant asked me whether I was alright when I hit my head with great force against a door frame repeatedly, to which I cried out in the negative and immediately grabbed him in a tight embrace, crying vigorously onto his shoulder. The Raccoons sent Prieto, who secured strikeouts from O’Keefe and Aiden Ackeret, ending the inning with three men stranded.

An insurance run would probably help now, but John Landrum struck out the side in the seventh, and retired three more in the eighth. Switch-hitter Paul Kuehn homered off David Fernandez to tie the game at four, leading off the bottom 8th, and it was only numbness left at that point. Moore finished the inning, and Vickers opened the ninth with a double to left off Odum. Stalker’s groundout moved him to third, after which the Aces walked Maruyama intentionally – a nice break from a flurry of strikeouts he had posted in the game – and here was the conundrum. Will Luna had pinch-hit in the #9 hole earlier and had remained in the game – Hooge was gone, the pitcher sitting in the #2 spot – and the Coons had a short bench due to the Ramos injury and the resilience of their Pyongyang-educated cadre physician. Nobody wanted to see Luna bat against the southpaw Odum with one out and a double play on offer, but the Raccoons also didn’t want to run out of bench in regulation… No such worries – Luna batted, hit into a soul-stabbing 4-6-3 double play, and somehow Moore and Garavito got around Mike Hall on second base and a PH appearance by Wiersma without blowing up in the bottom of the ninth. Another extra inning affair began, with Odum continuing on the mound for Vegas. He retired the Critters in order in the 10th, with Chris Wise then coming into a tied game (with Soung the only reasonable alternative left). Briones singled on an 0-2 pitch to lead off, stole second, advanced on a Kuehn grounder, and Nelson completed the sweep with a sac fly to deep right… 5-4 Aces.

Seven!

Which, fittingly, brings us to #7.

#7 was out for the season with a broken elbow. Dr. Chung told me as much on Thursday, our sad travel day to Indianapolis. I cried the most bitter tears when Ramos presented himself with a pristinely white, almost comically huge arm cast, insisting I’d be the first to sign it. I clamored to the heavens that this was all wrong, the heavens wouldn’t relent, and as I sobbingly signed my name onto the cast, Dr. Chung told Ramos that *this* was the reason they’d gone for the waterproof material.

The Raccoons called up Matt Triolo as a sign that the white flag was raised.

Raccoons (25-26) @ Indians (21-33) – June 6-8, 2036

The collapsing Raccoons faced the already-collapsed Indians in what would surely be a treat best enjoyed while blindfolded. We were up 4-2 against them this year, which wasn’t a guarantee that we’d sneak out with a win. They had the worst batting average and the second-fewest runs scored, while their pitching was rather average.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (3-4, 2.99 ERA) vs. Arnie Terwilliger (4-4, 3.49 ERA)
Gilberto Rendon (2-4, 5.33 ERA) vs. Josh Walsh (3-5, 3.53 ERA)
Gene Tennis (1-2, 3.57 ERA) vs. John Nelson (2-6, 4.98 ERA)

Terwilliger was their only southpaw in the rotation, and they had only one in the pen, and I keep looking for straws that might hint at the team ever winning again, but …

Game 1
POR: 3B Myers – 2B Vickers – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Wall – RF Pinkerton – SS Stalker – 1B Maruyama – P Chavez
IND: C E. Thompson – 2B Schneller – RF Leftwich – 3B Hutson – LF Garbinski – 1B McGrath – SS Zeltser – CF Acor – P Terwilliger

Maruyama singled (!) in two (!) in the second inning when he came up with the bags loaded on a walk and two singles against Terwilliger. Wall and Pinkerton scored, but following a bunt and a Myers groundout Stalker and Maruyama were stranded. Indy hit three singles for a run off Bernie Chavez in the bottom 2nd – Dustin Acor bringing home Josh Garbinski – so the Raccoons once more immediately set out to blow the lead. It was 4-1 after solo jacks by Fowler in the third and Stalker in the fourth, but I was totally sure that losing would find a way…

The Indians made up two at least in the bottom 4th, with Bob Zeltser making himself unpopular around his previous team with a homer to right, scoring Kevin McGrath, 4-3. Chavez lingered a while longer, but the bottom 6th began with singles by Dan Hutson (ran for by Roger Strand) and Garbinski. When the right-handed McGrath popped out, the Coons went to David Fernandez for Zeltser, who hit a shallow RBI single anyway, tying the game at four. Acor popped out and Terwilliger grounded out to Vickers, but … well … (agitatedly points at scoreboard and screams)

Terwilliger returned for the seventh, but logged no more outs; Myers walked on four pitches, Vickers hit a bomb to left-center, and it was 6-4 Coons. Fernandez was good for a scoreless seventh, after which the Raccoons asked for a modest two outs from Dusty Kulp. Juan Camps doubled and McGrath was blatantly robbed in the gap by Preston Pinkerton while Camps moved to third base. What a pitcher! Such a winner! Yeom Soung couldn’t keep the runner on base, with Zeltser driving him home with a hit to right, 6-5, but at least Soung got out of the inning… Top 9th, however, almost a replica of the seventh! Right-hander Chris Henry walked Myers, and then Vickers hit a drive to left. This one died in front of the wall for a double, but presented the middle of the order with a pair in scoring position and nobody out. While Fowler struck out, around him Manny Fernandez and Kurt Wall hit RBI singles, 8-5! Shane Jacobs replaced Henry, struck out Luna, hitting for Pinkerton, and got Stalker to ground out to contain the fire. The Coons sent for Chris Wise again, who retired the 2-3-4 batters in order to finally end the losing streak… 8-5 Coons. Vickers 3-5, HR, 2 2B, 2 RBI; Wall 2-5, RBI; Pinkerton 2-4, 2B; Stalker 2-4, BB, HR, RBI; Maruyama 2-4, 2 RBI; D. Fernandez 1.2 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K, W (3-1);

Game 2
POR: 3B Myers – LF Hooge – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – 2B Vickers – 1B Luna – SS Stalker – P Rendon
IND: SS Zeltser – 2B Schneller – RF Leftwich – 3B Hutson – LF Garbinski – 1B McGrath – C J. Herrera – CF Acor – P J. Walsh

The Coons scored first AGAIN, this time with a Myers double and Hooge RBI single right at the start of the ballgame. Fernandez struck out, but Fowler doubled and Morales walked to load the bases for Rich Vickers, who had slapped three extra-base knocks on Friday, and added another gapper for a 2-run double, now in right-center! Luna got his first career RBI with a single, Stalker hit an RBI single, and Myers legged out a 2-out infield single to score Luna. Hooge popped out to end the inning after the Raccoons had ravaged Walsh for a 6-spot, all runs earned. Now it was up to Rendon to – WHY IS DR. CHUNG GOING OUT TO HIM??? …

Rendon lasted one inning before leaving with a forearm strain, which was the sort of thing that would send a GM into a tearful tremor if he had any tears left to cry. The Raccoons had no choice but to declare a bullpen game – and why not start with Prieto? All paws were on deck anyway. Luna would come up twice with the bags full and one out in the top 2nd and 4th, lining out against the decomposing Walsh, who was hit for after the inning, and then Jon Lane. He lined out and grounded out, respectively, the latter move at least extending the lead to 7-0… Prieto pitched three innings on 55 pitches, and it was all a drag. Garbinski took him deep in the bottom 4th for a solo shot, 7-1, but that was all the damage on Prieto. Kulp was next – a true challenge for any 6-run lead. Juan Herrera doubled *immediately*. The run scored on two groundouts, which was still FINE (scratches bar counter with claws), but then Zeltser and Dan Schneller hit singles to go to the corners with two outs. Jeremy Leftwich popped out, but what the actual **** was wrong with Kulp?? Maybe nothing at all? Sometimes pitchers were just **** for a season or six… He retired three in a row in the bottom 6th, then bunted Tim Stalker to second base in the seventh, from where he scored on Myers’ single off Lane, which ended Lane’s extended play. Norogumi Sakurai, a 35-year-old Japanese righty with a highly unremarkable and spotty Federal League career, replaced him, gave up a double to Ed Hooge, but got Fernandez to ground out to end the inning. Herrera hit a jack off Kulp in the bottom of the inning (…), and he was lifted for Garavito with two outs as Zeltser approached. Garavito got a groundout to Vickers on the first pitch, then had a so-so eighth. Schneller and Leftwich hit soft singles, he struck out the next two, but with McGrath at the plate the Raccoons went to a right-hander, Moore, who was the second reliever in a row to get an inning-ending groundout on the first pitch he threw. He retired the side in the ninth, too. 8-3 Critters. Myers 3-6, 2B, 2 RBI; Hooge 2-5, 2B, RBI; Morales 2-4, BB, 2B; Stalker 2-5, RBI; Marsingill 1-1;

And off to the DL went Gilberto Rendon! We’d check in with him around the All Star Game…

There was no off day next week, so we needed a starter before long. For the moment however, the Raccoons brought up a reliever to help the pen for the next game or two. Dennis Citriniti and his 1.82 ERA in St. Petersburg got the call.

Game 3
POR: 3B Myers – LF Hooge – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – 2B Vickers – 1B Maruyama – SS Triolo – P Tennis
IND: CF Strand – 2B Schneller – 3B Hutson – 1B McGrath – C J. Herrera – LF Acor – RF Camps – SS Zeltser – P J. Nelson

For a change, the Indians scored first because Gene Tennis initially failed to retire basically anybody. Roger Strand led off with a single, and would be thrown out at home after a walk drawn by Schneller and Dan Hutson’s single. McGrath hit an infield single before a run scored on Herrera’s groundout. Acor grounded out to Triolo to strand two in scoring position. Nothing much happened after that early run until Dustin Acor sprained his ankle in the fifth and had to leave the game in favor of Garbinski. The first actual scoring opportunity for the Critters didn’t roll around until the sixth inning, which started with Nelson walking Myers and Hooge legging out an infield roller. Manny grounded out to advance the runners, and Fowler knocked a liner past Zeltser for a game-tying single. Tony Morales popped out, but Vickers struck a ball to left for another RBI single. Dan Hutson got a grounder from Maruyama, bumbled it, and the error loaded the bases for … well, all .154 of Matt Triolo, a 27-year-old rookie for a reason. He flew out softly to Roger Strand, beaching three runners.*

Tennis held on to the 2-1 lead through seven, having found a groove after the earlier episode with incontinence, failing to keep the bases dry. The question was whether he should continue in the eighth, on 87 pitches, with Alex Torres, the former Elks menace, pinch-hitting in the #9 hole to begin the inning. Torres, 38, had long turned sour, but there was a string of righty pitchers up against Tennis, and the Raccoons ultimately pulled the plug on the rookie in favor of Wise. This was one of those games where we’d try to reverse-engineer the last two innings with our two best relievers. Wise against the right-handers, and Soung for the coup de grace. Unfortunately, the plan threatened to not survive contact with Wise to begin with. Torres singled on 1-2, Strand bunted, Schneller walked, and Hutson shot a grounder to the left side, but – oh! – Triolo! Sprawling catch, lobber to Stalker at second base, the throw to first, and the lumbering Hutson was doubled up! What a play!

The Raccoons reached scoring position with a Tim Stalker infield single in the #9 hole (having entered in a double switch with Wise) and a 2-out Hooge double in the top of the ninth against Tim Thweatt, a right-hander. The Indians could either walk Fernandez and face a righty slugger with three on, or try their luck with Manny. They chose the latter, Fernandez crammed a ball through between Hutson and the third base bag, and both runners scored on the single! Chris Henry would strike out Fowler after that, but now we were up 4-1! When Wise retired the first two batters in the bottom 9th, both right-handers, he wasn’t removed for the left-handed Garbinski, either. Two pitches later a groundout completed the sweep. 4-1 Coons. Hooge 2-5, 2B; Fowler 3-5, 2B, RBI; Stalker 1-1; Tennis 7.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 1 K, W (2-2) and 1-3; Wise 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 1 K, SV (12);

In other news

June 2 – The hitting streak of OCT RF/LF Lorenzo Celaya (.365, 6 HR, 24 RBI) reaches 25 games with a ninth-inning single in a 7-1 loss to the Titans.
June 2 – As the Condors beat the Crusaders, 11-4, TIJ 1B Alvin Zuazo (.295, 5 HR, 24 RBI) lands four hits and drives in five runs from the leadoff spot.
June 3 – TIJ LF/RF/1B Willie Ojeda (.333, 9 HR, 42 RBI) has four hits and four RBI in an 11-9 Condors win over the Crusaders.
June 3 – BOS SS/2B Keith Spataro (.244, 5 HR, 27 RBI) was headed to the DL with a broken thumb. He would be out until after the All Star Game.
June 4 – BOS 1B Greg Regan (.266, 3 HR, 17 RBI) hits a homer for the only tally in the Titans’ 1-0 win over the Thunder.
June 4 – DEN MR Robby Ciampa (2-3, 5.56 ERA, 4 SV) enters the Gold Sox’ game against the Blue Sox in the bottom 10th and loses it without throwing a pitch, committing a balk that plates Cesar Talabera (.365, 0 HR, 16 RBI) from third base for a 4-3 Blue Sox win.
June 6 – The hitting streak of Oklahoma’s Lorenzo Celaya (.358, 6 HR, 24 RBI) ends at 27 games. Celaya goes hitless in four attempts in a 3-2 loss to the Knights.
June 6 – RIC INF Nick DeGroote (.294, 1 HR, 10 RBI) caps a 5-run rally with a walkoff slam off WAS CL Chris Cooper (2-4, 4.64 ERA, 13 SV) for an 8-6 Rebels win.
June 6 – A torn meniscus renders DAL 2B/SS Hugo Acosta (.393, 0 HR, 26 RBI) out for the rest of the month.
June 6 – NAS LF/RF Sean Ashley (.264, 8 HR, 31 RBI) is out for three weeks with an intercostal strain.
June 8 – Vegas’ SP Matt Diduch (6-2, 3.18 ERA) yields only two hits in a 10-0 shutout and rout of the Falcons.

Complaints and stuff

Season over. Down in AAA, Jesus Maldonado was now out with a foot contusion, something about an ice cream truck rolling over his paw, I don’t know, I refuse to read the bulletins at this point. The big knockout was of course Ramos having his elbow broken by ****ing Paul Kuehn in Vegas. He ended up posting his worst career season in terms of OPS (.649) and pretty much everything else, and the 49 games played are also just half of his previous worst season in terms of injuries.

Of course, there’s no replacing him in the leadoff spot, just as he was finally warming up to the idea of reaching base again…

That’s why the season is over. And, well, the Titans keep cruising, and the Raccoons have won about one of their last 6,000 games.

Two Raccoons are currently leading the All Star voting at their position – Fowler and Ramos. Oh what could have been…

Fun Fact: The Raccoons are an unlucky bunch. Six of their last eight losses were by one run, but only two of their last eight wins were by one run.

Or maybe the pen’s just utter dog ****, who knows…

+++

*It’s funny for me, because Strand means beach in German, but … oh well, I tried.