The week began with a roster move. The Raccoons needed another arm after the 14-inning bonanza on Sunday in which Willes had lasted only two frames. Five of our relievers had been used for five outs or more; the exceptions were David Fernandez, who had pitched on the second straight day, and Casey Moore, who hadn’t and was the only guy still somewhat rested. Everybody else had thrown at least 30 pitches in the prior two days or on Sunday alone, which was really equally bad.
Will Luna was sent back to AAA after batting .182 in 12 games in the majors. The Raccoons brought up John Hennessy, who had not pitched on the weekend, and who had shown his best behavior with the Alley Cats, posting a 3.10 ERA in 27 games, while not getting a lot of strikeouts. But it didn’t matter – any outs would be fine.
With the removal of Luna, only four lefty bats were left on the roster…
Raccoons (32-29) @ Miners (34-28) – June 16-18, 2036
And here were two teams with their set of issues that were only a handful of games out in their division. Pittsburgh was struggling for runs with a decent batting average but an appalling lack of extra base power and speed. Their pitching allowed the second-fewest runs in the Federal League. The teams had met last year, with the Raccoons drawing the short end of the stick, losing two of three games.
Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (4-4, 3.09 ERA) vs. Joe Martin (6-4, 2.93 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (1-0, 1.38 ERA) vs. Jonathan Dykstra (5-2, 3.57 ERA)
Gene Tennis (3-2, 2.64 ERA) vs. Carlos Padilla (1-5, 4.02 ERA)
All right-handers, including the former Critters #27 pick Dykstra, who had been the tradeoff for Kurt Wall at the deadline two years ago.
Game 1
POR: 3B Myers – LF Hooge – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – 2B Stalker – 1B Maruyama – SS Triolo – P Chavez
PIT: LF Burgos – SS Barcia – 3B Lastrade – 1B Santillano – CF C. Russell – 2B McKenzie – C T. Salinas – RF M. Mendoza – P J. Martin
Of course, a solid start by Bernie (six-plus) was imperative. And no extras. For ****’s sake, if you have to, lose the game – but NINE innings will be enough today. It wasn’t like we had the pen for another 14-rounder… He retired the first six, then walked Tony Salinas and allowed a single to Mario Mendoza to begin the bottom 3rd. Things looked like the Miners would score first, but didn’t – after Martin’s bunt that shuffled Mendoza into scoring position, Ozzie Burgos hit a comebacker for an easy out, and Sergio Barcia struck out. The Raccoons did precious little with the sticks – they scattered three singles in the first four, then got 2-out doubles from Myers in the fifth and Morales in the sixth, but that lead nowhere, either…
Bernie did six just fine, throwing 78 pitches for three hits, two walks, and two strikeouts – fine in terms of efficiency! Chris Russell and Jim McKenzie opened the bottom 7th with groundouts to Triolo, but Salinas singled to right. Bernie had Mendoza at 1-2 before allowing a fly to center that fell behind Fowler, but he knocked it down before it could reach the warning track. Salinas was lumbering around the bases and sent for home plate – but was thrown out, and the game remained scoreless…! This was also true for the eighth, in which Manny Fernandez drew a leadoff walk, stole second, and was stranded… Fowler was walked intentionally, Morales whiffed, and Stalker hit into the double play… Top 9th, with Maruyama on first and one out, Vickers batted for Bernie and his eight shutout innings, and hit into another double play. Yes, let’s play 16 innings of NOTHING!! Hennessy came out for the bottom of the ninth, facing the 3-4-5 batters. Strikeout, groundout, flyout, extra innings! Right. At least Hennessy was good for another inning. Sort of. He walked Nando Maiello. He walked Edgar Gonzalez. With two outs, Burgos hit a gapper in right-center, walking off the Miners after all. 1-0 Miners. Myers 2-3, 2 BB, 2B; Maruyama 2-4; Chavez 8.0 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 3 K;
(salty expression)
Hennessy was unceremoniously returned to the Alley Cats on Tuesday. Jesus Maldonado was brought back; after missing a week with a minor injury, Maldonado had hit in eight of his last nine games. Maybe this time…?
Game 2
POR: 3B Myers – LF Hooge – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 2B Vickers – 1B Maldonado – C Wall – SS Triolo – P Ottinger
PIT: LF Burgos – SS Barcia – 3B Lastrade – 1B Santillano – CF C. Russell – 2B McKenzie – C T. Salinas – RF M. Mendoza – P Dykstra
Fowler scores Myers with a sac fly in the first, so maybe this game wouldn’t all be for the bum. Of course, with runners on the corners and a 3-1 count he could have … (waves it off and shakes head) … Ottinger overcame a Burgos double to lead off the first, and a Triolo error on a pop-up on the infield in the second, holding the Miners scoreless in the early innings, and then – take that – the Raccoons actually ADDED to their lead. Top 4th, Maldonado walked (!!), stole second, then scored when Kurt Wall rushed a single through the right side of the infield, 2-0!
Then Ottinger ran into a wall in the bottom 4th. He walked the so far harmless Danny Santillano, serial slugger, with one out, then unravelled with two outs. Jim McKenzie was struck by a pitch and grumblingly went to first base. Salinas hit an RBI single to right, Mendoza singled to left, and the bags were full for Dykstra, who ran a full count, then poked at a cut fastball and missed miserably, stranding three Miners in a 2-1 game. The fifth inning then was the end of it all – Myers was brushed by a pitch, probably not intentionally, and doubled up by Hooge. Fernandez singled, then was caught stealing. By contrast, the Miners got Barcia on base, and then Santillano (five Player of the Year awards, anyone?) hit a huge homer to right to flip the score. Chris Russell also homered, 4-2, and the Raccoons were about beaten once again.
Come the sixth, Fowler and Vickers singled, there was a brief rain delay for an on-and-off drizzle, and Kurt Wall reached on Omar Lastrade’s error. Three aboard, one out, Tony Morales would bat for Matt Triolo, but popped out miserably. Tim Stalker batted for Ottinger and flew out to center, no panic there. Three Raccoons were left stranded, and they’d get another chance for that in the eighth against Rojo. Vickers, Pinkerton, and Stalker all reached base, bringing up Myers with two outs in what was still a 4-2 game. Myers hit the 2-1 pitch to center, a hanging floater that had no trouble getting caught, and the Coons had indeed stranded another three… Casey Moore held the Miners at bay in the bottom of the inning, so here came the ninth, the 2-3-4 batters, and a right-hander with a 3.57 ERA in Gualter Cymbron from Venezuela. Hooge grounded out. Fernandez grounded out. Fowler struck out. 4-2 Miners. Hooge 2-5, 2B; Vickers 2-4; Wall 2-4, RBI;
Game 3
POR: 3B Myers – LF Hooge – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – 2B Stalker – 1B Maldonado – SS Marsingill – P Tennis
PIT: LF Burgos – SS Barcia – 3B Lastrade – 1B Santillano – RF C. Russell – 2B McKenzie – C Liu – CF Burch – P C. Padilla
Yes, that was Jing-quo Liu in the catcher’s gear, and no, he still didn’t know a word of English. He also hit a game-tying RBI single off Tennis, who preceded the unhappy event with a walk to Russell and by nailing McKenzie. It erased another first-inning, 1-0 lead that had resulted from Hooge scoring on Manny Fernandez’ gap double.
Tennis was gone after one out in the bottom 3rd for injury reasons, and the Raccoons immediately went below the waterline again, just one reaching paw sticking out of the swirl that was about to drown them once and for all. Prieto was selected for long relief, not having featured yet in the series.
Top 4th, another three on, less than two out situation for Portland to sparkle in. Fowler reached on the error, Stalker reached with a single, and Maldonado reached on balls (!!), presenting Justin Marsingill with three on and one out. He managed a sac fly – what rousing success! – but after that the Raccoons saw themselves forced to send Prieto with two outs and two runners still on base. They had another six innings to pitch… if they wanted to win, that was. Prieto flew out to Kevin Burch to end the inning, ahead 2-1, and it was all of 4-1 an inning later after a Hooge double and a Fowler homer. It also started to rain again… Unfortunately, the game went to an hour-long rain delay before the bottom 5th was completed, so the Raccoons couldn’t win in rain-shortened fashion even though the skies were bleak. When play resumed, Dusty Kulp whiffed Lastrade to end the bottom of the fifth inning,
Bottom 8th, still up 4-1, but that wasn’t something a good old meltdown couldn’t solve. Garavito had done the seventh, but now walked Burgos before being replaced with Wise – Yeom Soung was pencilled in for the ninth. Wise retired a pair, then gave up a screaming RBI double to Santillano in a full count, and walked Russell. Those were the tying runs. With the left-handed McKenzie up, the Coons brought Soung, McKenzie missed the 1-2, and disaster was narrowly averted… Maldonado would open the ninth with a triple into the rightfield corner, then score on a Marsingill sac fly, but Soung needed no silly insurance run – he retired Liu, Burch, and Maiello in order in the bottom 9th …! 5-2 Raccoons. Marsingill 1-2, 2 RBI; Prieto 2.1 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 4 K, W (4-2);
Thursday was off, but the bad news were not. Gene Tennis was reported to have serious shoulder inflammation by Dr. Chung, and he was likely out for the season.
Because why wouldn’t he be…
Raccoons (33-31) @ Loggers (28-36) – June 20-22, 2036
The sad-sack Coons dragged their ol’ bums up to Milwaukee, playing three on the weekend with the Loggers, who held a 2-1 lead in the season series. They were 12 games out, fourth in runs scored, but bled the second-most runs; their pitching and defense surrendered precisely five markers per game. Well, here came the comic relief troupe …!
Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (4-4, 4.13 ERA) vs. Vinny Olguin (2-10, 7.14 ERA)
Colt Willes (5-2, 2.80 ERA) vs. Paul Metzler (2-8, 5.30 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (4-4, 2.81 ERA) vs. William Stockwell (3-6, 4.61 ERA)
Stockwell would be the southpaw of the week here, assuming they would not send their swingman Sergio Piedra (3-3, 3.50 ERA).
With Alfredo Casique, Tyler Prestwood, Bill McWhirter, and Josh Conner on the DL the Loggers had injury woes that were about comparable with the Critters’, who sent Gene Tennis to the DL on Thursday, and added a pitcher on Friday. The hole in the rotation would be filled by the 28-year-old righty Carlos de la Cruz, who had last featured in the majors in ’34 and had 19 relief apperances to his name with a 1-0 record and 2.61 ERA, and a .250 BABIP. This year in AAA he had a 2.76 ERA through 12 starts, and although his FIP very strongly suggested NO, what else did the Raccoons have to sort through? ****ing Darren Brown, for the 17th ****ing time?? De la Cruz had just pitched a couple of days ago, so wouldn’t take the ball on the weekend. So he was NOT called up on Friday; instead the Raccoons added a reliever in Travis Sims, who had an 0.37 ERA in AAA. His FIP also said NO.
Game 1
POR: 3B Myers – LF Hooge – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – 2B Vickers – 1B Maldonado – SS Triolo – P Sabre
MIL: RF Valenzuela – 2B Yoshioka – LF S. Wilson – C F. Chavez – 1B S. Ayala – SS Del Vecchio – 3B Garnier – CF Will Ojeda – P Olguin
For the third straight game the Critters took a 1-0 lead in he first inning; this time Fowler singled home Hooge with two outs. Singles then put Vickers and Maldonado on the corners in the top 2nd. Triolo flew out to center, with Vickers racing home and narrowly beating the throw of Will Ojeda to score, 2-0. Maldonado stole second when Sabre couldn’t get a bunt down and struck out, then scored on Myers’ double up the leftfield line. Should the Raccoons actually destroy a terrible pitcher early for once!? Ed Hooge struck out to let Olguin get back to the dugout at 3-0. Almost at the same time it started to rain, and the rain got really hard within a could of minutes. Another hour-long delay ensued with Salvador Ayala and Will Ojeda on base and Olgun at the plate with two outs. When play resumed, Sabre fell to 3-0, then gave up a scorched RBI single to the opposing pitcher. Somehow Danny Valenzuela grounded out after that… and that was only TWO innings…
The Raccoons then let go of Olguin, having eaten every piece of candy in the dugout and visitor’s clubhouse during the rain delay, which made them tardy going forwards. Sabre dragged himself through five while looking like arse, which came back to bite the Critters when Valenzuela and Kenta Yoshioka opened the bottom 5th with hits to right. One run scored on Steve Wilson’s groundout to short, and another on Ayala’s hard 2-out RBI single, tying the game at three…
Twice did the Raccoons have a runner on third base and one out. The top 5th had seen Ed Hooge triple with one out, but he was stranded on a grounder to first and a fly to center. In the seventh, STILL against Olguin, it was Hooge who failed to plate Myers with one out after a double and a passed ball had plated the third baseman on third base, popping out to Ayala. This brought up Manny, who hit a fly to right-center, stretching away, away, away from Valenzuela, and it was IN for extra-bases, all the way to the fence, Myers in to score, Fernandez to third base with a 2-out RBI triple! Fowler singled, 5-3, Morales struck out, and the Coons had to find nine outs without blowing that lead, too.
David Fernandez did a good-enough seventh, but walked Ayala to begin the eighth. The Raccoons would tackle the Wise-Soung pair in reverse order again, with right-handers at the bottom of the order for Milwaukee, but left-handers at the top. Wise threw a wild pitch, allowed a single to Del Vecchio to put the tying runs on the corners, and somehow the Loggers remembered that they were supposed to be terrible, too. D.J. Mendez popped out, Kymani Farmer hit into a run-scoring fielder’s choice, beating the return throw to first base by maybe a tenth of a second, and Jamie Meehan grounded out to Vickers to strand the tying run in the 5-4 game. Top 9th, Coons come back with their lefty bats against Alex Banderas: Hooge doubled, then scored when Fernandez singled! …and then Fernandez was caught stealing, which was one way to kill the inning a bit quicker than anticipated. At least the Loggers didn’t get through Soung… 6-4 Coons. Myers 2-5, 2 2B, RBI; Hooge 3-5, 3B, 2B; M. Fernandez 2-5, 3B, 2 RBI; Fowler 2-5, 2 RBI; Maldonado 3-4;
Game 2
POR: 3B Myers – LF Hooge – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – 2B Vickers – SS Maldonado – 1B Maruyama – P Willes
MIL: RF Valenzuela – 2B Yoshioka – LF S. Wilson – C F. Chavez – 1B S. Ayala – SS Del Vecchio – 3B Meehan – CF Will Ojeda – P Piedra
Saturday brought Piedra, and a special offer of a German bratwurst in a bun with a beer for five bucks, which sounded right up my ally, once you spiced the beer with half a pocket variant of Capt’n Coma. The Raccoons didn’t score in the first or any other reasonably early inning, while the Loggers followed suit and were even more pathetic. Through five innings, Piedra allowed three hits and whiffed two. Willes struck out four against only one base hit, a Kenta Yoshioka single right in the first inning.
I was on my fourth bratwurst and beer and started to feel somewhat dizzy when Manny Fernandez hit a sixth inning single with one down. Fowler popped out at 1-2 on a rescue-me swing before Tony Morales got struck in the knee with a fastball and went down in a heap. Calmly I tugged the uniform sleeve of a passing Loggers attendant and informed him that I would need all the beer he could get me. An annoyed Dr. Chung had to listen to Tony Morales’ whining before having Vickers and Pinkerton remove him from the game. Kurt Wall replaced the fallen catcher for obvious reasons, and was also stranded on base when Rich Vickers struck out. Willes kept holding on, and Maldonado hit a leadoff single in the seventh, then was doubled up by Maruyama’s ball poked at Jamie Meehan. The same inning, it started to drizzle…
Bobby Valencia was on the mound for Milwaukee in the eighth while I was dropping all pretense of decency and emptied one beer bucket after another. Dave Myers hit a leadoff double in left-center, Hooge lined out to Del Vecchio, but Manny Fernandez hit a liner *over* Del Vecchio and into the left-center gap for another extra-base hit. Myers scored for the first marker on the scoreboard. After an intentional walk to Fowler and a K to Wall, Vickers dropped in a 2-out RBI knock to make it 2-0. Maldonado then grounded out. In a perfect world, Willes would now have valiantly defended this 2-0 lead that the Critters had only scratched out through utmost sacrifice, but Meehan singled, Will Ojeda doubled, and the tying runs were in scoring position with one down in the bottom 8th. David Fernandez came on once D.J. Mendez was announced as pinch-hitter, conceded one run on a grounder to right, and another on Valenzuela’s 2-out single. The inning ended with Valenzuela caught stealing, and I was also informed that the ballpark was out of beer, or bratwurst, at this point.
The game went to the 10th inning, where the Coons had Fernandez and Fowler on, and also had Wall chop a ball into an inning-ending double play. The bottom 10th saw Casey Moore pitch to keep the Loggers away, and then we had an hour-ong rain delay that I mostly passed by crying into my shirt sleeve while simultaneously trying not to vomit. The 11th saw a Maruyama double with two outs and a Marsingill pop to piss that one away, too, and in the 12th the Critters put Hooge on with a 1-out single off Rafael Zacarias before Manny drew a walk, too. Justin Fowler was up – please, Fowler, I’m ****ing begging you …!! Grounder to short, to second, to first – inning over. Not even screaming and smashing a table with both fists was helping anymore…
The tie was FINALLY broken in the 13th inning, where Steve Bass oversaw a Vickers double up the leftfield line, then a soft Maldonado single to leftfield. Steve Wilson rushed in to play the ball, the Coons were beyond caring about any more injuries and sent Rich Vickers around third base and signalled him to slide with a foot aiming for Francis Chavez’ face if necessary. Wilson’s throw didn’t arrive quite in time, and Vickers slid in safe, and without mutilating Chavez, either. Maruyama popped out, and Stalker batted for Garavito and grounded to short, where Juan Benito fumbled the ball for an error, bringing up Myers, who reached base on a full-count walk. Ed Hooge had the sacks full, drew another walk off a decomposing Bass, and an insurance run was forced in. Fernandez hit a single, 5-2, before Fowler struck out to end the inning. To anybody’s surprise, the Critters’ Chris Wise didn’t allow four in the bottom of the inning; he didn’t even allow a fourth Logger to approach the plate in anger. 5-2 Blighters. Myers 2-6, BB, 2B; Hooge 3-6, BB, RBI; M. Fernandez 3-5, 2 BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Vickers 2-5, BB, 2 2B, RBI; Maldonado 2-6, RBI; Willes 7.1 IP, 3 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 4 K; Moore 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K;
Tony Morales was off to the DL with a knee contusion. Dr. Chung shrugged and guessed he’d be back in two weeks or so, or whenever he would stop being such a whiny girl.
The Raccoons didn’t even have another catcher on the 40-man roster. The call-up went to Chris Manning, our 2030 fourth-rounder, who was hitting .207 in AAA, but that was still better than anything else we had to offer…
Game 3
POR: 3B Myers – 2B Vickers – LF Hooge – CF M. Fernandez – SS Maldonado – RF Pinkerton – C Wall – 1B Maruyama – P B. Chavez
MIL: RF Valenzuela – 2B Yoshioka – C F. Chavez – 1B S. Ayala – SS Del Vecchio – 3B Garnier – LF K. Farmer – CF Will Ojeda – P Metzler
Valenzuela singled, stole second largely unopposed, and came home on Chavez’ single off Chavez. It only got ugly after that and with two outs, with Del Vecchio reaching on a Myers error before Bernie walked both Maxime Garnier and Kymani Farmer, the latter move forcing home a second run that was unearned in the box score, but was gnawing on my soul just the same. Ojeda struck out, leaving three aboard, then popped out with the same three batters (single, walk, walk…) on base and one out in the third inning! Metzler grounded out on a 3-1 pitch to end the latter inning, letting a Bernie Chavez in major disarray get off the hook for the moment there. At least the Coons’ offense was reliably catastrophic. They had a Maruyama single in the third inning… and… not much else, really. Hooge would hit a double in the sixth, but was of course left stranded.
Yanked after five gallingly incompetent innings was Bernie Chavez, with Kymani Farmer singling home Del Vecchio in the bottom 5th to make it three runs on seven hits and four walks off the former third-place finisher in the ERA race. Portland got on board in the top 7th on a pair of leadoff singles by Pinkerton and Wall, then crucially a wild pitch to move both into scoring position, and a Maruyama grounder to short to score Pinkerton, 3-1. Fowler hit for Garavito and lined out to Yoshioka, and Wall was left on third base for good when Myers flew out to rightfield. A Vickers single to begin the eighth led absolutely nowhere, and the game was still 3-1 in the ninth with Alex Banderas pitching against the 6-7-8 batters. Pinkerton flew out to right. Stalker hit for Wall and doubled – then pulled up lame and had to be replaced by a pinch-runner, which turned out to be Matt Triolo. Maruyama whiffed, and Marsingill batted for Yeom Soung in the #9 hole, aaand … whiffed. 3-1 Loggers. Stalker (PH) 1-1, 2B; Soung 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;
In other news
June 17 – NAS OF/1B Fabien Ugolino (.309, 0 HR, 6 RBI) ends the Blue Sox’ game against the Thunder with a walkoff single for a 14-inning, 7-6 win. Both teams had scored a run each in both the 12th and 13th innings before the Sox break through on their own in the 14th.
June 17 – A throwing error by BOS LF/CF Adrian Reichardt (.323, 2 HR, 7 RBI) allows Richmond’s Telma Mntua (.324, 1 HR, 11 RBI) to score in walkoff fashion for the only run of the game, 1-0 Rebels in regulation.
June 19 – The Capitals beat the Indians, 9-2, in a rain-shortened game of five and a half innings.
June 20 – SAL CL Rico Sanchez (2-0, 2.59 ERA, 14 SV) will be out until the All Star Game with a rotator cuff strain.
June 21 – The Crusaders get 1B Kumanosuke Henderson (.267, 6 HR, 41 RBI) from the Knights in exchange for RF/LF Matt Porter (.250, 1 HR, 5 RBI).
June 21 – The Indians trade for the Warriors’ 1B Brent Rempfer (.258, 9 HR, 28 RBI), parting with reliever Chris Henry (1-3, 3.86 ERA, 8 SV) and a prospect.
Complaints and stuff
If you still harbored hope it’s probably time to open your eyes. The Coons are going nowhere this year, and the real question is whether they will even have anything left to trade away at the deadline at the rate at which they’re breaking their little necks. I mean, who had Ed Hooge for almost 250 PA in late June in the raffle?? Not that Ed Hooge can’t still break a leg to fall short… He is actually doing pretty well, which means there’s a cross-country train lurking behind *some* dark corner, waiting to smash his unsuspecting black-and-white face in…
Yeah, yeah, the injuries keep coming, which is fine, really, it’s all fine. Morales to the DL, Tim Stalker probably to the DL (who knows!) for his pointless heroics in the ninth on Sunday, Harenberg out for the season, Berto out for the season, Tennis out for the season – which is all fine, given that fun’s also out for the season.
I mean, I’m not surprised that the offense IS this ****. Just look at them. (presents Maruyama and spreads the first-sacker’s lips with two fingers to show off his sub-standard teeth) No horse trader would buy this bum!!
In next week: the Elks. Like I needed that one!
Fun Fact: By early next week the Raccoons will have used at least 39 players this season.
…and it’s still June. Included in the calculation are de la Cruz and Manning, neither of whom was penciled in for service. One of them wasn’t even on the radar for anything.
Our Opening Day lineup was: SS Ramos – 3B Myers – 1B Harenberg – CF Fowler – LF Wallace – C Morales – RF M. Fernandez – 2B Stalker – P Rendon
At this point that’s: DL for the year – was on DL – DL for the year – was on DL – still on DL – now on DL – miraculously not yet on DL – probably heading to DL – yes, on DL!
Toot, toot! The train departs now! Toot! Next stop - insane asylum! Toooot!
