The Red Plate with Rex, George, and Ann
R: ‘Twas the best of times. ‘Twas the worst of times. 'Twas the age of wisdom. ‘Twas the age of foolishness. ‘Twas the epoch of belief. ‘Twas the epoch of incredulity. ‘Twas the season of Light. ‘Twas the season of Darkness. ‘Twas the spring of hope. ‘Twas the season of baseball.
A: That’s beautiful, Rex. Did you just make that up?
R: I did indeed, Anne. And on this third week of baseball of the Commonwealth, I, Rex Goodman, capital ‘R,’ capital ‘G,’ am hosting our weekly post-series show, “The Red Plate,” made up of the exquisite cast of WRVR’s favorite actors, the famed Charles River Trio. In today’s bout at this glorious demesne, the Party Boys of Nordhagen Beach have defeated the vaunted Finch Farm Four Leafs, 8-3. The equally vaunted George and the loquacious Anne will tell us all the delectable details.
G: Thank you, Rex. Our plate may be full this week, but we have to talk quick because we have a long trip ahead of us for the week ahead.
A: Actually, George, we changed the schedule this week. We are actually staying on the beach for a short vacation from the WRVR studios and then following the Party Boys up to Salem.
G: So we’re going to watch the Party Boys play two straight weeks?
A: That’s right. It may be the last time we get to see the Party Boys this season, so we should enjoy the vacation. Hopefully, our superfan will quit sending holotapes begging for more Nordhagen Beach games. We’re an equal-opportunity station, and we need to see each team play.
R: As I understand our predicament, we have seen three leagues so far, but have yet to venture to the Railroad League. A bit ironic since that is our home territory in the Commonwealth.
A: Our plan is to be there in Week 6, Rexie.
R: Tally-ho!
G: I will go ahead and get us started on this week’s awards. Let me start with the Top Pitcher. This one was tougher than I thought it would be, but I am going to go with Steve Rocky of Finch Farm. He won yesterday’s game by holding the Party Boys to just a run, which was the pitching performance needed to win. For his final stats, Mr. Rocky balled like a boa, allowing one earned run in eight innings with five hits allowed, two walks and three strikeouts. He was a real knockout!
A: I get to return to my favorite award this week, and I have a stud of a Stud of the Week. That award goes to Nordhagen Beach’s own C3-88 Puppetboy. You go, Puppetboy. He may not have played a single game this weekend, but he looked good doing it.
R: Pardon me, but is he not a synth?
A: Synth or not, his parts vibrate my innards.
G: That seems like every man, Anne.
R: Let us conclude with the most extraordinary of players this week, or as we call it, the Outstanding Player of the Week. This was a tough one since there were not a whole lot of offensive standouts. Since we decided we would not double up the awards, I considered a different pitcher. Nevertheless, I will choose Danny Honeycutt, the left fielder for Finch Farm. In three games, he was only 3 for 13, but two of those hits were home runs, which counted for half of all home runs hit on the weekend.
That will conclude this version of “The Red Plate.” It appears we will place our birthday suits on to celebrate our time at the beach, so there will be no midweek drama but we may run our news segments or reruns. Otherwise, this episode has been brought to you by Kasumi Nakano’s Red Rocket: ‘Drive in, fly out.’
'Tis a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done. 'Tis a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known. Now, let us not set the world on fire as we party on the beach like it’s 2077.
Ladies and germs, the Inkspots:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6l6vqPUM_FE