[Westheim]

Raccoons (78-58) vs. Indians (59-79) – September 8-10, 2036

The Critters had an 8-4 edge on the Indians in ’36, and needed more against the league’s third-worst offense. Their pitching was decent enough, which made me worry about yet more 2-1 squeezers that could easily go the wrong way.

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (8-6, 3.22 ERA) vs. Mike Hurley (5-2, 1.99 ERA)
Tom Miller (1-0, 2.00 ERA) vs. Manuel Herrera (0-0)
Bernie Chavez (11-10, 3.08 ERA) vs. John Nelson (5-14, 4.51 ERA)

This looked like a bunch of right-handers; Herrera would be a 23-year-old debutee, signed for all of $7,800 in the 2030 July IFA period. Hurley would start on short rest on top of all their other problems.

Game 1
IND: 1B J. Diaz – 2B Schneller – CF Baron – RF Leftwich – LF Garbinski – C E. Thompson – 3B Cobb – SS D. Serrato – P Hurley
POR: LF Hooge – 2B Vickers – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – 1B Wallace – 3B Marsingill – SS Nickas – P Sabre

Jeff Diaz walked, Dan Schneller singled, and immediately the game started out not quite as ideal as me and Honeypaws would have wanted. A fielder’s choice and a pop were followed by Josh Garbinski’s run-scoring infield single, and Sabre walked the bases full against Elliott Thompson, who was batting all of .204, before Dan Cobb grounded out to Vickers, stranding three. The Critters tied the score on singles by Ed Hooge and Justin Fowler in the bottom of the inning before Sabre struck out three, then took part in a 2-out set of three singles in the bottom 2nd. Manny Fernandez grounded out to Schneller, stranding all the runners. Yup, the typical 2-1 squeezer that could easily go the wrong way – AGAIN.

The 2 wound up being on the Coons’ side, but it took until the bottom 5th for them to poke it in. Ed Hooge hit another leadoff single, advanced on Vickers’ groundout, then scored on Manny’s single to center, drawing John Baron’s throw and allowing Fernandez to reach second base. The Indians, now 2-1 behind, walked Fowler intentionally, but the runners pulled off a double steal, with fowler probably dead at second base if Elliott Thompson doesn’t drop the ball, twice. Ex-Coon – sometimes we just KNOW who we can do it against! In the end, the move yielded no runs, because Morales hit a comebacker to the mound, Wallace walked, and Marsingill went down on strikes… Indianapolis didn’t amount to a threat until the seventh inning when Dave Serrato hit a gapper for a 2-out double in left-center. Brent Rempfer and his 15 homers pinch-hit for Hurley, but Sabre rung him up to complete seven innings, and they were very decent ever since the second…

When Sabre was replaced with Chris Wise for the top 8th, things immediately went straight into the sewer system. Schneller doubled to left, Baron doubled to center, tying the game, and David Fernandez came on against Jeremy Leftwich, who was hit for by Juan Herrera, who flew out to center on a 3-0 pitch. Baron advanced, and when Sean Ebner, another right-hander, hit for Garbinski with two outs, the Critters sent Dusty Kulp, who plated the go-ahead run with a wild pitch before getting Ebner – batting all of .156 – to strike out. I immediately stomped to my rotary phone and called up Nick Valdes, inquiring whether he had any quality subcontractors who could make Kulp just ****ing disappear… Kurt Wall hit a 2-out double in the #9 hole in the bottom 8th, Mitch Brothers nailed Hooge, and yet Vickers grounded out pathetically. At least the meat of the order would be up in the bottom 9th against Tim Thweatt and the 3-2 deficit! They flew out, struck out, and grounded out. 3-2 Indians. Hooge 3-3, BB; Wall (PH) 1-1, 2B; Sabre 7.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 6 K and 1-3;

At least there’s the comfort of having seen it coming…

Game 2
IND: 1B J. Diaz – 2B Schneller – 3B Hutson – RF Leftwich – LF Garbinski – C E. Thompson – CF Acor – SS D. Serrato – P J. Nelson
POR: LF Hooge – 2B Stalker – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – 1B Wallace – 3B Downs – SS Triolo – P Miller

Tuesday brought Nelson rather than the greenhorn, not that I really cared about who’d routinely no-hit the dismal Critters’ lineup. Nelson retired the first six in a row, and while Tom Miller walked a pair early on, at least the defense bailed him out. They turned a double play in the first, and Garbinski was nipped stealing in the second. Adam Downs, recently demoted former leadoff batter, hit a leadoff single in the bottom 3rd, then was forced out by Triolo. Miller bunted the runner to second base, from where Ed Hooge plated him with a 2-out single. More of those piled up in quick succession. Stalker singled, Fernandez singled, Fowler singled – it was 3-0 when Tony Morales walked to fill the bags. Jimmy Wallace squeezed out ball four in a full count, pushing home a run, after which Downs popped out, leaving three, and Portland left another three the following inning without scoring, when Fowler’s grounder to second left Triolo (single and over .200!), Hooge (intentional walk) and Fernandez (unintentional walk) stranded on base.

While Miller stumbled his way through six innings on two hits and four walks – it was less pretty than it sounded – the Raccoons got right-hander Jon Lane in the bottom 6th after Hooge reached on a Nelson error to begin the inning. He walked Stalker, then gave up a 3-run homer to Fernandez, extending the lead to 7-0. Right-hander Jesus Escandon then made his season debut (after four relief outings in ’35 for an 0.79 ERA), with Fowler and Morales singling and Wallace walking against him to give Downs three on and still nobody out. He popped out foul behind home plate, but Triolo drew the bases-loaded walk to push in another run before both Miller and Hooge fanned. Miller went back out for the eighth, but gave up a 1-out single to PH Brent Rempfer on his 102nd pitch, which was deemed enough. In came Dennis Citriniti, giving up singles to Schneller and Hutson, conceding Miller’s run, then a 3-run homer to Jeremy Leftwich, making me ****ing nervous. And yes, the tying run WOULD come into the on-deck circle – not in the eighth, which ended when Hooge risked limb and life to throw himself into a scorched liner to end the inning but in the ninth with Dustin Acor and Juan Herrera knocking hits off Prieto for a run. With Jeff Diaz back at the plate and in an 8-5 game, the tying run appeared in the on-deck circle. Casey Moore replaced Prieto, got to 0-2 on Diaz, then gave up a high fly to right. Fernandez got there to finally ****ing end the game. 8-5 Raccoons. M. Fernandez 2-4, BB, HR, 4 RBI; Fowler 2-5, RBI; Morales 2-4, BB; Triolo 1-2, 2 BB, RBI;

I’m not nervous, Cristiano. Why are you asking? – (keeps shaking and vibrating all the booze out of his Capt’n Coma bottle)

The Titans had been idle on Monday and opened their series with the damn Elks today, and immediately got knocked off, 8-1. This gave the Critters a 1 1/2 game lead.

Game 3
IND: 1B J. Diaz – 2B Schneller – 3B Hutson – CF Baron – RF Leftwich – LF Garbinski – C E. Thompson – SS D. Serrato – P M. Herrera
POR: LF Hooge – 2B Stalker – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Wallace – 3B Pinkerton – SS Downs – C Hartley – P Chavez

Herrera’s career started with an Ed Hooge single before the Coons tumbled into a strike-em-out-throw-em-out right away with Stalker at the dish. Herrera would also give up the first career hit to Matt Hartley, a fifth inning single that led exactly as far as the four singles the Critters had hit earlier in the game, which was still scoreless. Fowler had come closest to success, having a ball caught right at the fence by Leftwich. Bernie dipped his ERA under three when he reached the sixth inning in scoreless fashion, but that wasn’t going to get him a W. Much the contrary he was soon after on the losing end (and no longer had an ERA under three) when Garbinski hit a 1-out triple to center in the seventh and scored on an Elliott Thompson single. The Raccoons saw another Hartley single in the bottom 7th, did zip with it again, then got Tim Stalker to hit a single over Serrato’s head to begin the bottom 8th. Manny singled to center, and the rookie walked Fowler to load the bags with nobody out. And maybe it was cruel indifference, or maybe the Indians were so convinced of their newest shiny toy that they didn’t give a damn about his emotional well-being, but he was not lifted even after three straight Raccoons had gotten on, with Jimmy Wallace kicking dirt around in the batter’s box, looking to jack up that .208 average. He didn’t get his wish granted, but tied the game with a sac fly to deep left. Herrera walked Pinkerton, then gave up another sac fly to Downs, and only THEN did the Indians lift him, when he was already 2-1 behind. Josh Walsh replaced him, the Coons sent Tony Morales to bat for a 2-for-3 Hartley, because **** had gotten real now, and Tony slapped a single through the right side, with Fowler coming around to score from second base. Vickers batted for Chris Wise and grounded out, and the Yeom Soung got the 3-1 lead. Entirely uncharacteristically, he didn’t axe the opposition at first sight. Leftwich hit a 1-out single. Ebner walked with two outs. Rempfer walked with two outs! The Warden had just opened all the cells in the ****ing jail, it seemed! With bags full, Dustin Acor pinch-hit for the Indians in the #9 hole while the Raccoons still scratched their necks with their hindpaws and wondered what to ****ing do. The problem solved itself with a 2-1 pop to center. Fowler parked under it, caught it, and the Coons had somehow squeezed out a series win. 3-1 Blighters. M. Fernandez 2-4; Hartley 2-3; Morales (PH) 1-1, RBI; Chavez 7.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 7 K;

Raccoons (80-59) @ Crusaders (57-82) – September 12-14, 2036

The weekend brought a series with the last-place Crusaders, in fact the final set of the year against them. While they were not mathematically eliminated, a single Raccoons W on the weekend would do the job for them. They were eighth in runs scored, last in runs allowed, and there was always the hope that our offense would just score five in the first of every game and roll with that. We led the season series, 13-2. With a sweep we’d tie our best ever performance against a CL North team.

Projected matchups:
Gilberto Rendon (6-8, 4.46 ERA) vs. Ignacio del Rio (7-18, 3.96 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (7-4, 3.28 ERA) vs. Eddie Cannon (8-14, 5.51 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (8-6, 3.14 ERA) vs. Geoff Whitehouse (11-4, 3.38 ERA)

An 18-game loser and a 14-game loser? We’re as dead as disco!

All their starters were right-handers. Meanwhile our lead in the division was down to a single game again after the Titans won the last two games from the damn Elks, who were no help neither dead nor alive… Right now, though, at 10 1/2 behind, were most likely dead, which was just as well. – Oh yeah, boys, no pressure, but the Loggers stuffed Keith Black and the Crusaders pen for 13 runs yesterday! THE LOGGERS.

Game 1
POR: LF Hooge – 2B Stalker – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – 1B Wallace – 3B Marsingill – SS Nickas – P Rendon
NYC: CF Malo – SS Obando – 2B M. Hurtado – 1B K. Henderson – LF Salto – 3B Hansen – RF Elrod – C Duryea – P del Rio

The bottom 1st was two walks, a hit batter, and somehow Rendon wasn’t charged with a run at all. Guillermo Obando and Kumanosuke Henderson had timely strikeouts, and John Hansen flew out to center to strand three. Nobody in the game would find a base hit until Jason Elrod singled to left with one out in the bottom 4th, at which point Rendon was on four walks, seven strikeouts, and over 70 pitches, and thank goodness the no-hitter was off… A fly out to Manny in right got rid of Michael Duryea, and del Rio, the ex-Coon nobody missed, grounded out to Nickas on a 3-0 pitch to end the inning.

Well, there WAS still a no-hitter going on, but it was del Rio’s. The Raccoons amounted to a walk (Stalker) and one unit of getting nailed (Morales) in five innings, and the game remained scoreless. Ed Hooge chopped a 1-out single to center in the sixth, and del Rio was mad enough to drill Stalker in revenge for it. The old man dragged himself to first base, then had to move up quickly on a passed ball charged to Duryea. Fernandez struck out, but Justin Fowler dumped a 2-out, 2-run single for the first action on the scoreboard. It also gave Fowler a 12-game hitting streak. Rendon was gassed after six innings, with John Hennessy striking out the bottom of the order in the bottom of the seventh. The top of the eighth saw del Rio threatening to become unglued – he was unhinged already – with singles by Hooge and Stalker, then Fernandez squeezing out a walk. Three on, nobody out, Fowler looking forward to putting it all away, but hacked himself out instead. Morales groundout scored a run, and Kurt Wall’s pinch-hit single plated two more, knocking out del Rio well on the way to his 19th loss of the year. Against Gabe McGill, the bags filled up once more, but Maldonado popped out to strand all the runners. That pop had no further consequences – Dusty Kulp and Dennis Citriniti each pitched a rarely-seen trouble-free inning to put the game away. 5-0 Critters. Hooge 3-5; Wall (PH) 1-1, 2 RBI; Marsingill 2-4; Rendon 6.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 5 BB, 8 K, W (7-8);

Andy Bressner outdueled Matt Brost in Indy, scratching out a 1-0 win. The Titans had only four hits, the Arrowheads had only two, but they won a crucial game on a Bressner double and a Jeff Diaz single, and the Coons were now up by two!

Game 2
POR: LF Hooge – SS Stalker – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Morales – 2B Vickers – 3B Downs – 1B Maldonado – P Ottinger
NYC: CF Malo – SS Obando – 2B M. Hurtado – 1B K. Henderson – RF Chavira – LF Salto – 3B Hansen – C Duryea – P E. Cannon

Obando tripled and scored on a groundout in the bottom 1st, which also saw Ottinger walk Henderson to continue his recently wild ways, then give up a double to Vinny Chavira. Graciano Salto was retired on a hard grounder to Downs, keeping those two stranded in scoring position, but the Raccoons would now have to play this one from behind. Not that the 1-0 deficit lasted long; Cannon walked Fowler to begin the top 2nd, the runner advanced on a grounder, then scored on Vickers’ single to center … and then Downs hit into a double play. Ottinger had another walk and a wild pitch in the bottom 2nd, setting off all sorts of alarms in my head. It didn’t get any better – Obando singled in the bottom 3rd, Kumanosuke Henderson homered to left, and the Crusaders were up 3-1.

New York was done with Ottinger in the fourth. Walk, double, single, 5-1, boom, gone. Prieto inherited Obando on first and one out, allowed a single to Mario Hurtado, then a screaming liner to Henderson that was caught, and a screaming liner to Chavira that wasn’t and merrily bounced into the gap to explode the score to 7-1, in other words, ballgame. The Raccoons hit into three double plays in six innings and didn’t get back to scoring until Tim Stalker hit a leadoff double over Caleb Malo’s head in the seventh, quickly followed by Manny’s RBI single to right. When Cannon walked both Morales and Vickers with one out, the game suddenly seemed to provide a possibility again for the Critters, who had the tying run appearing in the on-deck circle. Adam Downs singled cleanly to left in a full count, narrowing the score to 7-3, and then Maldonado was the crucial run. There was an urge to have Jimmy Wallace pinch-hit, but we’d rather do it in the #9 hole in place of Garavito. Besides, Maldonado had a chance to do damage, too! Nope, he popped out. Wallace did bat with two outs, grounded out to Hurtado, and that was the game for good. Or maybe not. Cannon allowed a single to Hooge in the eighth, then was yanked. Little happened until Fowler hit a 2-out RBI single off Julian Ponce. Rin Nomura appeared to face Morales with two outs, but Portland countered with Kurt Wall, who walked, and the tying run was back at the plate, now with Gabe McGill matching Vickers. Since Matt Triolo was not a serious pinch-hitting option, Vickers was left in there and flew out to center. New York scratched out an insurance run off David Fernandez in the bottom 8th, Chavira hitting a sac fly, but besides Steve Nickas’ surprise first career homer, hitting for Fernandez in the top 9th, the Raccoons had no more rally in them… 8-5 Crusaders. Nickas (PH) 1-1, HR, RBI;

All the Coons’ starters had one hit (except for Maldonado) and they sprinkled them in the worst way…

Boston won, 7-5, so the gap was back down to one. The Coons needed a W from Sabre on Sunday.

Game 3
POR: LF Hooge – 2B Vickers – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Wallace – C Wall – 3B Downs – SS Nickas – P Sabre
NYC: CF Malo – SS Obando – 2B M. Hurtado – 1B K. Henderson – LF Salto – 3B Hansen – RF H. Saito – C Duryea – P Whitehouse

Four singles scored two runs for the Raccoons in the first inning, with Wallace driving in both Vickers and Fowler, who had both reached scoring position on some aggressive base-running. Wall also singled, but Downs grounded out. The Crusaders countered with two singles and a walk from their first three hitters, but Malo was caught stealing before the other two could pile up, and two strikeouts to Henderson and Salto ended the inning before it could get really ugly. Vickers would single in Nickas, who had also singled, with two outs in the top 2nd to make it 3-0, but Sabre remained wobbly. Hirofumi Saito got on in the bottom 2nd and reached third base before he was stranded by Whitehouse, and Malo was on base to begin the third, but never got a chance to do damage to his own team in that inning. The leadoff man was on AGAIN in the fourth when Salto singled, and this time the bags filled up with a Saito single and a walk to Duryea. Whitehouse batted with three aboard and one gone under, hit a comebacker, and Sabre chose the rather secure out at home rather than a wonky whiff at two. He then struck out Malo to escape yet another mess of his own making.

It finally came crashing down in the bottom 5th, despite the leadoff batter not reaching for once… Hurtado hit a 1-out single. Sabre walked Henderso, Salto singled, John Hansen hit an RBI single, and Saito doubled the game tied. They took the lead on a Duryea sac fly before Whitehouse fanned to end the miserable experience, and probably the Raccoons’ lead in the CL North with it. Nothing happened the next few innings. The Coons got Nickas on base with a leadoff single in the sixth, then immediately had Pinkerton double him off, and then found themselves arriving in the ninth inning still 4-3 behind. Tony Morales led off as pinch-hitter in the #9 hole against righty Mike Hugh. He grounded out to first. Hooge grounded out to second. Vickers grounded over to short, but Obando bungled the ball for an error, giving the Coons another shot with Fernandez – who flew out to left. 4-3 Crusaders. Vickers 2-5, RBI; Fowler 2-4; Wall 2-3, BB, 2B; Nickas 2-4;

In other news

September 9 – TOP SP Josh D’Agostino (10-8, 4.01 ERA) pitches a 2-hit shutout with 6 K in a 5-0 win over the Miners.
September 10 – WAS SP Alfredo Vargas (8-10, 6.33 ERA) could miss the rest of the season with a herniated disc.
September 13 – The Warriors shackle the Scorpions, 14-0. SFW SS Jesus Matos (.263, 15 HR, 57 RBI) draws five walks. 2B/SS Mario Colon (.310, 24 HR, 107 RBI) has 5 RBI on three base hits.

Complaints and stuff

At the very worst time, the team has simply run out of drive. And possibly skill. Oh to have Alberto Ramos around to ****ing get on base and not be doubled off by the next idiot in line…!

As delightful their run in August was, as painful are they to watch in September. They are barely scoring more than four runs per game, and their luck seems to have run out entirely. The Titans appropriately evened the division on Sunday, actually rallying in the ninth for an 8-7 win over the Indians, with six runs driven in by Keith Spataro, and who else can you count on to ruin the Raccoons’ efforts? Both teams are at 81-61 now, and things look not impressive for Portland…

POR (81-61) – BOS (4), MIL (4), CHA (3), IND (3), TIJ (3), VAN (3) – .494 – 44.1% (-16.1%)
BOS (81-61) – NYC (4), POR (4), LVA (3), MIL (3), SFB (3), VAN (3) – .497 – 55.9% (+16.1%)

Now we have to hope the Crusaders make it as hard onto the Titans as they did onto us. Or maybe we just sucked. Sabre and Ottinger sucked for sure…

Fun Fact: Barring a major dual collapse, one of the three FL West teams with endless playoff droughts will see it snapped.

The Wolves, who won a critical series from Dallas this weekend, have not made October baseball since 2004, the Stars since 2008. The Stars’ most recent championship came in 2006, while the Wolves’ only championship came in 1989 when Glenn Johnston dropped Ed Parrell’s fly and –

(is shot by Maud with a tranquilizer dart, just to be sure)