Today in the CBO
News and Notes - Reports from around the Commonwealth
by Nat Wright-Kowalski
8 June 2296 - Funeral for Party Boy
Nordhagen Beach Party Boys closer Kevin Containment, who was discovered dead and partially consumed on the beach last Thursday, was buried in a ceremony today in town.
Containment disappeared last weekend, though none of his teammates remember him going missing. Several players were partying at the Beach House restaurant, and some slept on the beach. It is assumed that Containment also slept on the beach, but was pulled to sea by a mirelurk.
Because of the state of his body, he was buried in a closed casket ceremony attended by his teammates, the owner of the Party Boys Emogen Cabot, and several others.
The Party Boys will be at home this weekend against The Slog Ghouls. They plan a special ceremony before the game where his number 11 will be retired. Containment will be the first person to have his jersey retired, mostly because his teammates feel bad about his death, even though he was a ****** pitcher and hardly ever spoke to them.
9 June 2296 - Containment's Tombstone Graffitied
One day after Nordhagen Beach Party Boys' closer Kevin Containment was buried, it has been discovered that someone carved the words, "Can't Contain Anything" on his grave.
We have no more information at this time with no suspects. Team and local officials seemed to shrug it off. One was heard saying, "He's dead. What does he care?"
10 June 2296 - Shallowwater in Deep Water
University Point backup second baseman Greg Shallowwater is in trouble with Minutemen officials who have discovered a small ring of child laborers at his property near Somerville Place.
Shallowwater has not been at the property since he reported to duty with the Deathclaws in March, but he had indicated it was being managed by his girlfriend.
On a routine patrol of the area, which sometimes gets unwelcome visitors from the Glowing Sea, Minutemen soldiers discovered that the farm being run by Shallowwater's girlfriend was entirely made up of child laborers.
Interviews with the children, Shallowwater's girlfriend Crella Deville, and the coach of the local youth league showed that some children had been there since late last year. Commonwealth rules stipulate that all children under the age of 15 must be enrolled in an education program and cannot spend their time primarily as laborers, though they can help on farms and other small jobs after they have completed their daily schoolwork.
Shallowwater will have to answer to the Minutemen officials since he was named as the culprit and Deville was merely following orders. Shallowwater left the team to go to The Castle, which is near University Point.
It is not clear when he will be able to play, but the Minutemen official we spoke to said, "No, not this weekend. Maybe not for a long time."
Shallowwater, who was selected in the 24th round, has started seven games and made 18 appearances this season. In 33 at bats, he had five hits for a .152 average. He has two doubles, four runs, three RBI, six walks, nine strikeouts, and a stolen base. Jason Harris, selected in the 5th round, is the usual second baseman for the 14-16 Deathclaws.
11 June 2296 - Danse Has 20-Game Hitting Streak
Paladin Danse's hitting streak is becoming the talk of Egret. The 30-year-old left fielder extended it once again today, this time bringing it to 20 games with a 1-for-4 performance against the Shaw HS Knuckle Punchers. The Scrappers took the game, 10-9.
"People are starting to bring it up to me when I'm around town," he said. "It's getting stressful."
Paladin Danse grounded out in the 1st, hit a solo-shot off Brad Westing in the 3rd, walked in the 5th, flied out in the 7th and struck out in the 8th.
In the current season, Danse has put up a .453 batting average with 58 hits, 14 home runs, 42 runs batted in and scored 39 runs.
11 June 2296 - Slog Pitcher Mauled
Nordhagen Beach has been an eventful location with death and destruction seemingly everywhere. The laissez fair attitude of the place may make people more susceptible to problems, for all we know.
The Slog pitcher David Kiwi found that out when he took a post-game stroll away from Nordhagen Beach and towards a small groups of ships that form an island and passage from Nordhagen Beach to Nahant.
Unfortunately for Kiwi, he encountered a gangrenous feral ghoul on one of the shipping containers, and he had to pay for the encounter. Though Kiwi escaped with his life by slaying the ghoul, the festering sores on the ghoul have probably infected him with potentially-deadly bacteria.
Kiwi was immediately rushed to the clinic at Nordhagen Beach by guards patrolling the area. He is expected to be moved to nearby Easy Town or even the Boston Airport to get treatments from Brotherhood of Steel doctors. He will not be available for his start on Saturday.
On the season, Kiwi has pitched in 13 games, starting five. He has allowed 26 earned runs on 50 hits with 10 walks and 36 strikeouts in 40 innings for a 5.85 ERA. He is 1-2 on the season with 2 saves.
12 June 2296 - County Crossing-Egret Trade: Simms for Scram
Team officials for County Crossing and Egret reported that the Bloodbugs have reached a deal sending 33-year-old LHP Shawn Simms and 21-year-old LF Jason Foghorn to the Scrappers for 25-year-old 3B Brian Scram and 17-year-old RHP Rickey Schoolmaster.
Simms has taken the mound for 10 relief appearances this season, nailing down 2 saves while notching a 0-0 record with a 0.67 ERA. The Egret reliever has limited opposing batters to a .302 batting average.
12 June 2296 - Derp Derped?
Quincy Gunners second baseman Dan Derp was missing in action from tonight's game against the Warwick Mirelurks. Apparently he was complaining of a headache earlier in the day and said he needed a nap.
When a team official went to his apartment to check on him, he found Derp fast asleep with an empty bottle of whiskey nearby. I guess he treated his headache with a headache-inducing pain killer.
Because the team official was unable to stir him in time, Derp was unable to attend today's game. At the time of this writing, the game has begun and Derp is still not at the ballpark.
12 June 2296 - Knuckle Punchers End Danse's Streak
The 20-game hitting streak of Paladin Danse has come to an end. The Egret Scrappers left fielder went 0-for-3 today in his team's 7-1 loss to the Shaw HS Knuckle Punchers at Fallon Field at Egret Tours Marina.
"It's not just Paladin who came up short today," Scrappers player-coach Troy Phillabum said in his postgame press conference. "This was a team loss."
This year Danse is batting .443 with 58 hits and 14 home runs. He has scored 39 times and has batted in 42 runs.
12 June 2296 - Perez Batters Fairline Hill Estates Big Time
It was a good day for the T-51s at Yao Guai Circle as they clipped the Fairline Hill Estates Yao Guai, 10-5. It was tremendous day for B.J. Perez, who was on a hitting barrage at the plate, finishing 5-for-6.
"I don't know what to call that," the Oberland center fielder told reporters after his big performance. "I'm not 'dialed in' or 'in a zone,' I just try to keep it simple. Basically the pitcher throws the ball, I try to pick up the spin, then I hit it. Today I picked up the spin pretty well."
B.J. Perez singled in the 1st, singled in the 2nd, flied out in the 3rd, singled in the 6th, doubled in the 8th and hit an RBI single in the 9th.
So far this season Perez is hitting .432 with 3 home runs.
13 June 2296 - Milteer Keeps Hit Streak Alive
Chris Milteer's hitting streak is becoming the talk of Oberland. The 19-year-old shortstop extended it once again today, this time bringing it to 25 games with a 2-for-5 performance against the Fairline Hill Estates Yao Guai. The T-51s took the game, 9-8.
"Everyone is excited about it but me," he said. "I'm just trying to put wood on leather."
Chris Milteer hit an RBI single in the 1st, grounded out in the 3rd, hit an RBI single in the 4th, struck out in the 5th and flied out in the 7th.
So far this season Milteer is hitting .407 with 5 home runs, 24 RBIs and 38 runs scored. He has 59 hits in 145 at-bats and a .466 OBP.
13 June 2296 - Warwick Tags Dwellers for 5 Hits
Wally Warwick led Diamond City to a 12-4 victory today over the Vault 81 Dwellers. He stroked 5 hits in 6 at-bats to spark his club in the win.
Wally Warwick struck out in the 1st, singled in the 2nd, doubled in the 4th, doubled in the 5th, singled in the 6th and singled in the 8th.
Warwick is currently batting .355 with 4 home runs and 33 RBIs.
13 June 2296 - Mastodon Hits in 25 Consecutive Games
Tom Mastodon, left fielder for the County Crossing Bloodbugs, ran his consecutive-game hitting streak to 25 games with 4 hits in his club's 20-2 victory today over the East Boston Prep Assaultrons at Beantown Brewery Stadium today.
"Not the outcome we wanted," East Boston Prep manager Graham Route said. "There's never a good time to lose, and it's never fun to be on the wrong end of somebody else's accomplishment."
Tom Mastodon grounded out in the 1st, singled in the 2nd, singled in the 3rd, hit a two-run double in the 4th and doubled in the 6th.
So far this year Mastodon is batting .463 with 3 home runs, 28 RBIs and 39 runs scored.
13 June 2296 - Yellowhair Collects Cycle
Boots Yellowhair did just about everything for The Slog Ghouls -- except win the game. The right fielder had a cycle wasted in his club's loss to the Nordhagen Beach Party Boys.
Despite Yellowhair going 4-for-5 with 2 runs batted in and 3 runs scored, the Ghouls were defeated, 14-10.
"The guys feel like they let Boots down," The Slog manager Mack O'Shea said later. "He did all anyone could ask and we couldn't hold up our end of the bargain."
Boots Yellowhair singled in the 1st, doubled in the 2nd, hit a solo-shot off Tommy Beach in the 4th, hit an RBI triple in the 6th, walked in the 8th and grounded out in the 9th.
In his 2296 season totals, Yellowhair has 8 home runs, .323 BA, .385 OBP, 21 RBIs and 25 runs scored.