The Radioactive Gland with Anne, Rex, and George
A: We are the Charles River Trio, the coolest cats of radio in all of the Commonwealth, and we are here at the Coolest Field in Town broadcasting our weekly series postgame show, "The Radioactive Gland." Hi, everyone, I am Anne. With me as always are Rexie-poo and that cat George.
You have just listened to the most exciting game you will hear on the radio waves, where the home Atom Cats rallied back for a 19-18 win over the Goodneighbor Hancocks. It is way past my pumpkin carriage time here on a hot Saturday night, but, Rex and George, tell us something we already know.
R: Anne, we know that baseball matches rarely reach wretches of wrought raucousness.
G: This was not a baseball game. It was a swatter death match! At least Moe Cronin would say so.
A: And I say everyone here is riled up but really tired.
R: Restless, even. Well, Anne. I understand your hints. Too bad there is no Bottoms Up award for this week. Well, let's see. I do believe that we failed to mention that the Atom Cats won two of three games in the series, including tonight's rope cutter.
Now, I will speed past my balderdash and nominate the Sportiest Sport. Since George politely reminded me that his player was also my own--potential spoiler alert--I went in a different direction. Then Anne pointed out something, and so we had a quandary of sort. Ultimately, Anne graciously succumbed to the power or persuasion and left me with this person as the Sportiest Sport: Goodneighbor's John Rose. He undoubtedly could be named our Outstanding Player of the Week, and he may find himself honored as the Minutemen League Player of the Week. However, for now he is the Sportiest Sport for an outstanding but losing effort. In a loss for the Hancocks on Thursday, Rose was 2 for 3 with a double, a home run, a walk, three runs scored, and one run batted in. He followed up that performance with Player of the Game honors tonight, despite the loss. He was 3 for 4 with a home run, two walks, five runs scored, and three runs batted in. A Rose by any other name would still be the Sportiest Sport.
G: Well, Rex, you did spoil it a bit that the Top Pitcher this week is also a player from Goodneighbor, but he deserves it. To me, that player has to be the Hancocks' Quincy Eloquent. Yesterday, he pitched nearly a complete game, allowing three runs, two earned, on seven hits with two walks and seven strikeouts in 8 and 2/3 innings to earn the victory in a 5-3 ball game. On top of that, he admirably fulfilled his role as player-coach for his team, despite the heartbreaking loss tonight.
A: Thank you, my tight slodges! I will now name the Outstanding Player of the Week. This Cat was not as good as Rose, like you said, Rex. However, he still sparked his team in two of their wins. He is third baseman Shane "Bee's Knees" Stabb. In three games, he totaled a 4 for 11 performance with a double, two home runs, four walks, eight runs scored, and six RBIs. Great job, Knees Stabb.
That will finish up "The Radioactive Gland." We will now announce where we are going next week since it is already a late night, and we hope that we can pass on that information again tomorrow morning even if we have no show to broadcast. So, finger snaps, our destination next week where we have the first choice of games is the battle for first place in Abernathy when the Starlight Lady Killers visit the Abernathy Adamantium. This one is high stakes, folks! So tune in next week for Institute League action!
Well, it is late, like I said, with a late game lasting over four hours. I want to thank the Atom Cats and the coolest slang in the Commonwealth. I absolutely love the greaser jacket you gave me. Let's get out of Atom with the Five Stars' "Atom Bomb Baby":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEKdt2y1-Mc