Today in the CBO
News and Notes - Reports from around the Commonwealth
by Nat Wright-Kowalski
31 October 2296 - Halloween!
The gourds are carved, the walls are decorated, and kids are ready to collect their Sugar Bombs and pickled bloatfly eggs. If there is one thing the pre-War Commonwealth did right it was dropping the bombs right before Halloween so that we have all the decorations we need for the most sacred of candied holidays.
This year, Halloween has brought on safer settlements so that kids can go out at night in their costumes and feel that there is at least a 63.74% chance they will go back home unharmed that night.
Happy Halloween to all of you in the Wastes! And now for some CBO news.
31 October 2296 – Vault 81 Dweller to Tour Factions, Capital Wasteland
Vault 81 Dwellers catcher Ronald Raygun already has a plan for his post-baseball life.
“Politics,” he said. “I feel like I’m just an entertainer right now, but later I think I could be President.”
Raygun will start his career in politics with a quick trip to the headquarters of all four factions in the Commonwealth before hopping on a vertibird for a diplomatic tour to the Capital Wasteland to explore the Brotherhood of Steel facilities at Adams Air Force Base.
Raygun said he was always curious about politics but just a few years ago could not envision a government-operated Boston.
“I was born in the city and just remember nothing but survival,” he said. “But I had a few books and remember reading all about past presidents. I thought, 'Why not me?'”
The Brotherhood of Steel crew Raygun plans to tour with will depart for the Capital Wasteland on November 26 with a planned return on or before January 1, 2297.
31 October 2296 – Finch Farm Reliever Goes Sin City
Finch Farm Four Leafs reserve reliever Frank Miller is in trouble thanks to a wild night in Easy Town. Being on a binge of what he called “booze, broads, and bullets,” Miller’s chem-enhanced party night turned nearly tragic for one bar patron.
Miller finished the night at the Hell and Back bar. He stated he did not know the names of the people he was with but remembered “that yellow bastard” and “a dame to kill for.” While using chems and drinking heavily, someone happened to produce something called a slingshot. While people at the Hell and Back started shooting caps at beer bottles, Miller fished a bullet out of his pocket on his turn.
Witnesses mentioned that Miller looked to try to hit the beer bottles like the rest, but his shot went wide and hit another patron in the bar right in the forehead. The bullet did not penetrate through the skull of the patron identified only as “Marv.”
Hell and Back bartender Dwight McCarthy said, “That baseball guy almost made the big fat kill on ole Marv. Marv probably thought he was looking at the hard goodbye.”
Miller expressed sorrow and said he would try to stop looking at the world in black and white. He is expected to be locked up at Boston Airport for a time until Marv recovers or does not. If Marv does indeed experience “the hard goodbye,” Miller could be looking at time at Parsons State Insane Asylum, addled accident or not.