Today in the CBO
News and Notes - Reports from around the Commonwealth
by Nat Wright-Kowalski
5 December 2296 – Gatekeeper Displays Bad Leadership
The Warwick Mirelurks may not have won the first ever CBO Sole Survivor Series Championship, but it was not due to a lack of leadership. This offseason may be taking a toll on the leadership. First baseman Ron Lobsterclaw has already been called away on a mission that forced him to miss most of the 2296 season. Now, third baseman Tutton Gatekeeper learned the downside of trying to be a leader.
While having a team party at a retreat on Spectacle Island, Gatekeeper decided it would be a good idea to show how trustworthy he could be by allowing rookie right fielder Tunafish Walshe to brand him with a hot iron.
From the incident, Gatekeeper suffered severe burns to his left buttock where the hot iron was applied. Appropriately, the brand reads, “REAR.”
Gatekeeper had to leave the retreat and take a boat to The Castle to receive treatment and try to prevent infection from setting in. If things go OK, he should be ready for the season.
7 December 2296 – Gadz Alive, Rescued
Salem Witch Hats third baseman Mike “Gadz” Gadzinski has been missing since early September after his traveling caravan was attacked by raiders. Today, he along with several others were rescued by Brotherhood operatives from a raider slave camp on Plum Island.
Gadz had an explosive slave collar that had to be deactivated. He was underfed but otherwise healthy. The Brotherhood transported Gadz and the others rescued slaves to the Boston Airport for treatment and information. All are expected to leave the Brotherhood facilities as soon as they pass medical and psychological tests.
One person with knowledge of the situation who wished to remain anonymous stated that Gadz appeared to be upset and angry more so than the other captives rescued. At the time of his arrival at Boston Airport, he was not cooperative with the medical staff there.
9 December 2296 – No Go Fo’ No
Shaw HS Knuckle Punchers Craig No is no yes man. No, he is a no man. And this time, No said no to the wrong Flo, which left No with no consciousness for quite some time and a hospital trip to Milton General Hospital.
In an argument with another person, identified as Gertrude Hertenpeepel, No said no one time too many. Witnesses at the Library, the name of the club in the Shaw HS building, overheard Hertenpeepel offering No relationships of the horizontal nature. No was in no way attracted to Hertenpeepel, which angered Hertenpeepel towards violence.
One body slam followed by a suplex later, and No was no better for the wear.
Doctors have said that No had blood collecting in his brain and needed surgery to prevent the blood from clotting. He will be expected to miss some time.
Hertenpeepel hurt three other people trying to subdue her. She eventually tired and was taken away towards The Castle in handcuffs, shackles, and an explosive collar.