[Westheim]

Raccoons (37-39) @ Falcons (43-32) – June 25-27, 2040

Monday’s motivating thought – no matter what grim monstrosities the Falcons would do to the Raccoons in this midweek set, it would get ten times worse against the damn Elks on the weekend. (turns to the ruffled old fellow with the beard reaching almost to his shoes, serving a thick steaming liquid out of a buckled thermos outside the Falcons’ ballpark) Make that a double, please.

The Falcons were leading the South, scoring the second-most runs in the Continental League and pitching “adequately” with the sixth-most runs allowed. They had a +47 run differential. Their pen ranked in the bottom three, though. In the season series against the Raccoons, the Falcons had a claw up, leading 2-1.

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (5-5, 3.24 ERA) vs. Jose de Lucio (4-1, 3.19 ERA)
Ryan Bedrosian (5-0, 2.21 ERA) vs. Ernie Quintero (6-8, 4.06 ERA)
Angelo Montano (1-3, 4.88 ERA) vs. Rafael Pedraza (7-7, 4.07 ERA)

With Jose Lerma on the DL, the Falcons had only right-handed starters left over.

Game 1
POR: CF Maldonado – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Morales – RF Hooge – SS Hunter – 3B Ramos – 1B Anderson – P Sabre
CHA: 2B Farfan – 1B LeClerc – SS Aparicio – C M. Cook – LF Esperanza – CF J. Reyna – RF C. Robinson – 3B A. Rojas – P de Lucio

The Falcons reached third base in the first two innings against Sabre, once with Jose Farfan bunting his way aboard, stealing a base, and then being deserted of support, and once with 2-out singles by Chris Robinson and Alfredo Rojas, but then de Lucio popped out. However, the first run was the Critters’; Oliver Anderson singled to lead off the top 3rd, was bunted over by Sabre, and scored on a Maldonado single. Cosmo and Manny then made poor outs. A run was tacked on in the fourth, with Tony Morales singling to center to begin the inning. Crucially, de Lucio threw a wild pitch to Tony Hunter, making Hooge’s and Hunter’s groundouts enough to plate Morales, 2-0. The Falcons countered with a Ruben Esperanza homer in the bottom of the inning, narrowing the gap to one run again, but Anderson led off the fifth with a gapper for a triple, and Sabre smacked a single past Tony Aparicio to score him, 3-1. Maldonado legged out an infield hit after that, but three poor outs in a row stranded those precious runners. More precious runners came in the sixth, though with Hunter and Ramos. They pulled off a double steal against easily-distracted de Lucio, then scored on a wild pitch and sac fly, respectively. That was it for offense for either time for the time being. Sabre made it through seven innings, and things looked dandy at least for a day… at least until good ol’ boy Alex Ramirez made a save opportunity out of it in the ninth, giving up a longball to Farfan with two outs, then putting Justin LeClerc on base, too. Rico Sanchez came in, got a grounder from Tony Aparicio that Kilgallen – in for defense, by the way – flubbed for an error, and SOMEHOW the game didn’t explode with Mitch Cook batting; Cook struck out. 5-2 Coons. Maldonado 2-5, RBI; Anderson 2-3, 3B, RBI; Greenway (PH) 1-1; Sabre 7.0 IP, 8 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 4 K, W (6-5) and 1-2, RBI;

What do you mean, Dr. Padilla, “Raffaello Sabre is hurting”? – But he won the game! – I won’t hear no thing about injuries anymore!!

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – C Morales – RF Greenway – SS Hunter – 1B Anderson – 2B Kilgallen – P Bedrosian
CHA: 2B Farfan – 1B LeClerc – SS Aparicio – C M. Cook – LF Esperanza – CF J. Reyna – RF Coca – 3B A. Rojas – P E. Quintero

While the Coons were retired in order the first time through, the Falcons had a smattering of hits against Bedrosian in the second inning, plating two runs on an Alfredo Rojas single to take an early lead. Berto would reach base with a leadoff single in the fourth, stole a sack, and then was deserted by good fortunes, but Tony Hunter made it to the board in the fifth with a leadoff jack to right. Anderson and Kilgallen then singled, going to the corners with nobody out, at least until Anderson did a funny dance on the base with a calf cramp that required removal from the game and replacement by Damian Salazar. Kilgallen was then caught stealing, Bedrosian struck out, and Berto somehow snuck a single through the right side, tying the game. Then he was caught stealing, too.

Hunter hit a double in the seventh, but that inning ended with Bedrosian striking out and no runs scored. Bedrosian kept pitching finely, and so maybe the Raccoons could finally line him up for a W in the eighth (giggles). Berto drew a leadoff walk, then went to third on Maldo’s single. Fernandez’ fly to center was good enough for a sacrifice and a 3-2 lead, and Morales walked, but neither Greenway nor Hunter could get anything countable on the board anymore. Come the ninth, the score was still 3-2, with Rico Sanchez allowing a leadoff double to LeClerc. Neat. Maldonado, now at third base, handled Aparicio’s grounder for an out that crucially also kept the tying run at second. Cook struck out, and Esperanza whacked a single to right, plating LeClerc and reducing another Bedrosian W to a warm handshake and better luck next time. Chris Robinson also singled before Tony Coca struck out, sending the game to extras, where, facing right-hander Nick Wright, Steve Nickas was now leading off in the #1 hole, because who would have thought of the Coons blowing another Bedrosian lead? Like, that had never happened! At all! In the universe! … (looks grumpy) Nickas drew a leadoff walk. He made it to second on a Maldo grounder, then scored on Manny’s single to right-center. The inning ended quickly after that. Brent Clark got the 4-3 lead in the bottom 10th, walked Alfredo Rojas leading off, then got a 6-4-3 from rookie catcher / first-sacker Chris Kokoszka. Farfan struck out. 4-3 Critters. Ramos 2-3, BB, RBI; Nickas 0-0, BB; Hunter 2-4, HR, 2B, RBI; Bedrosian 8.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 0 BB, 7 K;

Alright, uh… first career save for Brent Clark. And if Rico Sanchez kept honking around like this, he might end up being recycled at the scrap metal shop next to the ballpark in Portland, being traded in for a toaster.

Then, the damage report. The Coons dodged a bullet with Sabre, who was diagnosed with a sore back, and would probably miss one start, but not more than that. The bad news was that we needed a spot starter on Saturday.

Anderson could barely walk, but would be day-to-day with the cramp, which was expected to go away in a few days. This granted an extension to Damian Salazar’s big-league adventure. I had been about to send him back to AAA with his .143 average and .456 OPS in 49 PA, but he’d now get another start or two at first base before being purged.

For Sunday, Brent Clark was a potential spot start option – he had the stamina and some crappy tertiary stuff and might survive five innings against the damn Elks. Or we could exchange Salazar for a spot starter early, on Friday/Saturday, have that poor bum scorched for seven by the damn Elks, and scooch everybody else back a day, with Sabre dropping to the end of the line.

What a wealth of options on a decisively crummy team!

Game 3
POR: CF Maldonado – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – SS Hunter – RF Greenway – 1B Salazar – 3B Ramos – P Montano
CHA: 2B O. Aguirre – 1B LeClerc – SS Aparicio – C M. Cook – 3B Farfan – LF Esperanza – RF Salto – CF Coca – P Pedraza

After Maldo and Cosmo singles to begin the game dissolved in Manny’s lineout to short and Kilmer’s 6-4-3 grounder, Troy Greenway opened the scoring with his monthly homer to left-center in the second inning. Montano was off the rolls though and couldn’t get anybody out. He walked three in the bottom of the inning, in addition to two meaty hits and gave up a 3-spot. Taking Pedraza’s bunt to third base with no chance to get Esperanza there was also not the best decision. That loaded the bags with one out, and Oscar Aguirre then drove in a pair with a single to flip the score. Another run scored on a groundout. Montano barely *survived* four innings, walking six batters in total and being excused from further misery after 96 pretty miserable pitches, but no more than the three runs from the second inning.

Not much happened in the middle innings, with Lindstrom pitching two innings in relief, walking a pair in a game that kept being frustrating. He was then pinch-hit for in the seventh with one out and the tying runs in scoring position against Pedraza after a single by Salazar (!) and a double by Berto. Tony Morales’ drive to left was caught by Esperanza for a sac fly, 3-2, but Maldo whacked a 2-out double to right-center to tie the game and take Montano off a well-deserved hook. Cosmo grounded out to Aguirre to end the inning. Bottom 7th, Mauricio Garavito conformed that he was also ripe for recycling, allowing two hits and a 2-out walk to the opposing pitcher, which grinded my teeth like nothing else in this game. With the bags full, Jermaine Campbell replaced him, somehow getting a grounder to Tony Hunter to strand all the runners. Even Campbell was surprised, but not as surprised as me.

This game, too, went to extras, with neither team even reaching second base in the eighth and ninth innings. Kilgallen, inserted in the #9 hole after a double switch, and Maldonado opened the 10th with singles off Mike Simcoe, going to the corners with nobody out. Then Cosmo struck out and Manny Fernandez hit into a double play and nobody scored. Somehow Alex Ramirez survived walking a pair in the bottom of the inning, so the Raccons would get more chances to fail miserably. By the 12th inning, the Critters arrived at Brent Clark again, ending the option of feeding him into the Elk-shaped meat-mincer. He also walked the bags full facing Paul Vespucci, Aguirre, and LeClerc, with Aparicio’s 1-out grounder not thrown home in time to prevent a walkoff. 4-3 Falcons. Maldonado 3-5, BB, 2B, RBI; Anderson (PH) 1-1; Lindstrom 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 1 K; Ramirez 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 1 K;

The Raccoons walked FIFTEEN batters in this game. I like a good team effort, but this…. THIS!! … That’s six on Montano, three each on Ramirez and Clark (who at least got the loss), two on Lindstrom, and one on Garavito. Jermaine Campbell ad Chuck Jones would get the golden banana for facing at least three and volunteering none of them to first base.

Raccoons (39-40) vs. Canadiens (51-27) – June 28-July 1, 2040

Please, god, no, help. No, Maud! – I don’t wanna! – But I don’t wanna! – But I DON’T WANNA!!

Fine. (puts on brave face) The damn Elks were first in runs scored, first in runs allowed, first in starters’ ERA, first in many things overall, and first in crunching the Critters especially, having played them eight times this season and yet having to chalk up a loss. And I was not quite sure how to survive this series.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (2-8, 5.33 ERA) vs. Matt Sealock (10-2, 2.19 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (0-3, 4.18 ERA) vs. Jordan Calderon (6-4, 3.39 ERA)
TBD vs. Eric Weitz (7-3, 2.83 ERA)
Ryan Bedrosian (5-0, 2.22 ERA) vs. David Arias (7-6, 4.27 ERA)

Calderon was the only left-hander coming up. And, Dr. Padilla, did you find anything, in your medicine cabinet and in your heart, to make me sleep 96 hours straight? – No? – Shame.

Game 1
VAN: LF Foss – C Clemente – CF Outram – 2B Sprague – RF R. Phillips – 1B J. Lopez – SS Sibley – 3B R. Ashley – P Sealock
POR: CF Maldonado – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Morales – SS Hunter – RF Greenway – 1B Salazar – 3B Ramos – P Chavez

Bernie struck out three in the first inning… while walking Aaron Foss and giving up an RBI triple to Jerry Outram. In the second inning he walked Johnny Lopez to begin things, then waved for the trainer, and with that everything shattered into a thousand pieces again. After lengthy investigations on the mound, Bernie was found out to be in need of replacement by Dr. Padilla, and the Raccoons hoisted a pair of white underpants immediately and sent out Mauricio Garavito, who had no chance of not getting flogged into oblivion by these damn Elks. They whacked him for four straight singles, including Sealock, and four runs on five hits in total (one run sticking to Bernie) in what immediately could be chalked up simply as “0-9”.

The rest of the game was bread-and-butter desolation. Garavito was strafed for another three runs in the third inning, then sent for composting. While the Raccoons’ offense did NOTHING, Jermaine Campbell played unlikely hero, pitching four scoreless innings in long relief to at least bring the end of the game into mere sight. Only in the bottom 7th did the Raccoons get two runner on base at once (Hunter, Greenway), with Berto shoving a 2-out RBI single through the right side. Hah-hah, Sealock! Sucker! NO SHUTOUT FOR YOU!! … Kilmer hit for Campbell, singled to load the bases, and Maldonado uncorked a bases-clearing double to knock Sealock from the game altogether. Raymond Pearce retired Cosmo to end the inning. In a sign of clear defeatism, the Raccoons sent their closer into a 4-run loss in the ninth inning, and didn’t see him emerge from it until they were losing by five runs. Josh Boles pitched in the bottom 9th for the damn Elks, but left with a shoulder twinge that would require a week or two of rest. Paul Medvec allowed singles to Nickas and Ramos and a sac fly to Hoogey, but that was all the rally in the home team. 9-5 Canadiens. Nickas (PH) 1-1; Ramos 3-4, RBI; Kilmer (PH) 1-1; Campbell 4.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K;

Uh-huh. – Yes. – Okay. – I understand, Dr. Padilla. – Oh just put them in here. – (rolls eyes) *Fine*. – (watches Dr. Padilla drop two headache pills into an empty glass) I can always add the booze afterwards.

(claps paws together) Alright! – First, we’re ******. Second, Bernie goes to the DL with an oblique strain. Like that’s gonna fix 2-9 with a 5.46 ERA. He won’t be back before August.

Did I mention we’re ******?

Roster moves galore thus on Friday. The Raccoons put Bernie on the DL and deported Damian Salazar (.137, 0 HR, 3 RBI) to St. Pete. Dr. Padilla said there was no real chance to have Sabre pitch on the weekend, so we needed a spot starter anyway, and would go for it on Friday. We called up right-hander Ryan van Campenhout, who had been on the roster earlier this year without getting into a game, to help out in the burned-out pen, while the actual spot start would go to left-hander Sal Lozano, the other half to Alex Ramirez in the Cuban duo we had signed this last winter. Lozano was 0-3 with a 2.72 ERA in swingman duties in AAA, which hints at the sort of replacement level batting we have down there.

Lozano would start on Friday right away, then be immediately exchange for the next poor sod sacrifice in an attempt to appease the baseball gods. He was not a permanent solution for a gaping hole in the rotation that was already being patched by Angelo Montano and a somewhat-underdone #8 prospect in Nelson Moreno, who had his start pushed to Saturday, ahead of Bedrosian, who in turn would go on regular rest on Sunday.

Game 2
VAN: LF Foss – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – 2B Sprague – C Clemente – RF R. Phillips – SS Cabral – 3B R. Ashley – P J. Calderon
POR: 3B Maldonado – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – CF Kilgallen – 1B Anderson – RF Greenway – SS Nickas – P S. Lozano

While a Manny Fernandez homer put the Coons up 1-0 in the first, Sal Lozano’s bushy moustache confused the damn Elks at least once through the lineup, but he walked three runners in the third inning and in between allowed a run on Outram’s RBI double. Timóteo Clemente grounded out with the sacks full to end the inning. He was taken deep for a solo shot by Ryan Phillips in the fourth, although Jeff Kilmer matched that feat, keeping the game tied at two, in the same inning. Jerry Outram continued the exchange with a blast of his own in the fifth, putting the damn Elks on top again, 3-2.

Five innings was all there was to get from Lozano, which was already more than rightfully anticipated. The game was still within reach even! Brent Clark followed on with a scoreless sixth, although Foss reached base with a leadoff single in the seventh. Clark got two outs, including a K on Outram, the old pest, while Foss reached third on a stolen base and a grounder. Lindstrom came in to face the right-handed Glenn Sprague, walked him, then gave up Clark’s run on a solid single to right by Clemente, 4-2. Sprague hurt himself running on that play, needing replacement by Ross Sibley, not that we cared. Phillips lined out to Nickas to end the inning. The game came apart for good in the eighth then, with Lindstrom still pitching. Ramon Cabral whacked a leadoff double, and Ray Ashley’s grounder was thrown away for two bases by Trevino. Two well-placed outs scored Ashley, 6-2. After a drab bottom 8th, van Campenhout’s debut occurred in the ninth against the meat of the order. Outram and Sibley both lined out hard before Clemente hit a jack to left. Phillips walked, but Cabral grounded out to short. The Coons then went down without much fuss against Natanael Abrao. 7-2 Canadiens. Kilmer 3-4, HR, 2B, RBI;

Sprague (.213, 5 HR, 44 RBI) was off to the DL with a tender hammy, which was certainly not going to solve the Coons’ inability to win even ONE ******* GAME from the damn Elks.

Lozano was sent back to AAA after the game. The Raccoons then called up right-handed outfielder Scott Daiker, hitting .236 in AAA. He had been in Portland for 13 games in ’38, hitting .219 then.

Game 3
VAN: LF Foss – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – RF R. Phillips – C Clemente – 2B Sibley – SS Cabral – 3B R. Ashley – P Weitz
POR: SS Hunter – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Anderson – LF Hooge – RF Greenway – 3B Ramos – P Moreno

Not normally religious, I prayed feverishly to the baseball gods that they wouldn’t let undo harm come unto my precious prospect on Saturday.

Maldonado hit a sac fly in the first after Hunter and Cosmo set up camp at the corners, but nobody could be found to score Trevino. Ryan Phillips whacked a leadoff double to left-center in the top 2nd, moved up on Clemente’s grounder, and scored on Sibley’s sac fly to get the game tied again. Ed Hooge hit a leadoff jack in the bottom of the inning, and then Berto reached with a walk. He stole second, Moreno hit a shy single to get runners on the corners with one out and – … then they choked. Hunter struck out, Trevino popped out.

Top 4th, Lopez began the inning with an infield single as I was biting into my fist for an excess of tension. Phillips walked with one gone, but Clemente popped out and with two outs Sibley singled to center. The ball was right into Maldonado’s catapult and Lopez was not a fast runner and easily thrown out at home plate when the damn Elks sent him, ending the inning. In turn, Troy Greenway socked a homer to right in the bottom of the inning. Two in one week?? Who ARE you??? … and Berto hit a triple right after that. Nels hit *another* single, 4-1, and Weitz walked Hunter and conceded a single to Cosmo, with Moreno held at third base, loading them up for Maldo with one out. And the best batter the Coons had right now shanked the ball to short, six, four, three, nada. While Moreno ran a few long counts by the middle innings, which wasn’t something we liked to see, he at least still got outs … and another at-bat in the bottom 5th, then with Greenway and Ramos in scoring position and two outs, with Ed Hooge having already been singled in by Berto. Moreno hit ANOTHER single, scoring two runs, and by now I was going bonkers, jumped up and down before pouncing onto the trusty brown couch, shaking an otherwise stoic Slappy, ran twice around the table, and finally grabbed Cristiano and smooched him on the lips so hard, he’d roll in circles for three days…! THE COONS!!

The inning ended with Hunter, and the Elks whacked Moreno for three hits and two runs in the sixth, narrowing the gap to a slam, because joy is always instantly punished by the baseball gods. Moreno would be gone after a Ray Ashley single in the seventh, but Chuck Jones kept the runner on base. Hoogey brought improved length with a second solo shot off Raymond Pearce in the bottom of the inning. It was enough – Ramirez and Clark would handle the final two innings without an accident. 8-3 Raccoons!! Trevino 2-5; Hooge 2-4, 2 HR, RBI; Greenway 2-3, BB, HR, RBI; Ramos 2-3, BB, 3B, RBI; Moreno 6.1 IP, 7 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 2 BB, 3 K, W (1-3) and 3-3, 3 RBI;

(wears a stupid grin for the rest of the day)

By Sunday, the damn Elks had traded for the Bayhawks’ 2B Dan Schneller (.282, 14 HR, 42 RBI) like they needed more offense or something. They parted with part-time outfielder Miguel Reyna (.258, 3 HR, 20 RBI) and #46 prospect Nelson Garcilazo, probably a lights-out closer down the line.

They also tweaked their pitching staff and moved left-hander Alexander Lewis (3-2, 3.51 ERA) back into the rotation and right into the mix on Sunday.

Game 4
VAN: LF Foss – C Clemente – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – 1B J. Lopez – SS Cabral – RF DeVita – 3B R. Ashley – P A. Lewis
POR: CF Maldonado – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – SS Hunter – 1B Kilgallen – 3B Ramos – RF Daiker – P Bedrosian

Maldonado lasted one inning before injuring himself on a defensive play, which was a good move by the baseball gods in wiping away all joy and leave nothing but regret for having gone into baseball rather than Uncle Horace’s upholstery business in general, and for having left bed this morning in particular. Hoogey replaced him, then hit into a double play after Bedrosian’s leadoff single in the bottom 3rd. Lewis then glitched Cosmo and Manny on base, Kilmer hit an RBI single for the first marker on the board, but Hunter’s fly to deep left was taken by Foss. Johnny Lopez tied the game with a homer off Bedrosian then, after the latter had allowed only two hits in the first three innings. That was it for runs through five, with Cosmo and Manny reaching with two outs in the bottom 5th again, but this time Kilmer flew out to Marc DeVita.

Kilgallen hit a double in the sixth that led nowhere nice, while Bedrosian was grounded into an eventual exit in the seventh in multiple long counts, two walks, and finally a full-count strikeout to Ashley to strand runners on the corners. Mind, this was still a tied game and the Raccoons now had to tackle Lewis in the bottom 7th to give him a win. (chuckles) Yeah, sometimes I can’t believe what I’m saying myself. The Raccoons amounted to no more than a 2-out walk by Fernandez in the inning, and Bedrosian remained no-decisioned. David Lindstrom then rapidly applied for the loss with a pinch-hit double by Sibley to begin the eighth, a walk to Foss, and eventually a sac fly by Outram, the wicked devil. The Raccoons did not threaten in the bottom 8th, while Tim Zimmerman got a fly out from PH Oliver Anderson to begin the ninth. Greenway hit for the pitcher, Ramirez, in the #9 hole and zinged a double, though, bringing up the winning run in Ed Hooge, who flew out to Outram, and Cosmo, who ripped the first pitch into the outfield, where it found the gap between Outram and DeVita and tied the ballgame …! Manny walked, but Kilmer flew out to Alex Perez in left, bringing about extras *again*.

The Coons were sort of short on pitchers here; they turned to Rico Sanchez in a triple switch that removed Manny Fernandez from the game, with van Campenhout the only rested alternative in the pen. Sanchez immediately gave up a screaming double to Clemente in the 10th, then a single to right to Outram. Clemente was sent, but thrown out at home plate by Greenway, with Outram scurrying to second base. The bags then filled up with a walk to Schneller and a Lopez single. The pitching coach went out to inform Sanchez that this was his own mess and nobody was gonna come and rescue him. Cabral’s soft fly did not yield a run. DeVita’s 2-out single and Matt Roberts’s double sure did, two each. 6-2 Canadiens. Trevino 3-4, BB, 3B, RBI; Fernandez 2-2, 3 BB; Grenway (PH) 1-1, 2B; Bedrosian 7.0 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 6 K and 1-3;

In other news

June 26 – The Knights beat the Loggers, 12-3, while scoring all of their runs in the sixth inning against unlucky Carlos Padilla (4-7, 5.53 ERA), Tony Rivas (0-1, 3.14 ERA), and Arnie Terwilliger (1-1, 1.71 ERA).
June 28 – DAL LF/CF/3B/2B Jake Trawick (.307, 4 HR, 38 RBI) is out for the season with a torn labrum.
June 29 – Warriors SP Tony Galligher (5-1, 3.31 ERA) 2-hits the Stars in a 4-0 shutout.
June 30 – MIL SP Joe Feltman (8-5, 3.95 ERA) walks no fewer than six Titans, but Boston never lands a base hit in their 4-0 defeat to the Loggers. Feltman’s is the first no-hitter of the year and the fifth for the Loggers. It comes just over one year after their previous no-hitter, Sal Chavez’ over the Pacifics.

FL Player of the Week: SAL 1B Bill Jenkins (.318, 9 HR, 45 RBI), hitting .520 (13-25) with 2 HR, 8 RBI
CL Player of the Week: VAN OF Jerry Outram (.326, 12 HR, 53 RBI), hitting .419 (13-31) with 1 HR, 10 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: CIN 1B Jamie King (.321, 17 HR, 53 RBI), batting .357 with 7 HR, 23 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: VAN OF Jerry Outram (.328, 12 HR, 52 RBI), swatting .364 with 5 HR, 27 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: SAL SP Phil Harrington (10-1, 2.00 ERA), twirling for a 5-0 record with 1.45 ERA, 50 K
CL Pitcher of the Month: VAN SP Matt Sealock (11-2, 2.36 ERA), tossing at a 5-0 rate with 1.83 ERA, 40 K
FL Rookie of the Month: PIT OF Manny del Toro (.220, 3 HR, 28 RBI), hitting .264 with 1 HR, 14 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: IND OF Nick Crocker (.273, 1 HR, 19 RBI), batting .277 with 1 HR, 12 RBI

Complaints and stuff

1-11! I want Nelson Moreno to father my children!!*

(slams paw on desk) I don’t want to hear it, Dr. Padilla!! You’re getting paid to make that work! Think of something!! – (Cristiano sits nearby and grins stupidly)

By the way, Dr. Padilla, any news on Maldonado? – No? – I know that sorrowful look, Dr. Padilla, you always have that one when you secretly consider amputation to get it over with!!

Sabre could maybe pitch on Monday already, but we’ll send Montano out on Monday instead and Sabre on Tuesday. They will both make two starts before the All Star Game, and while Sabre is probably a long shot to be an All Star, pitching him on Sunday would prevent him from taking part, instead allowing us to get him back working quicker after the break. We need his pitching more than he needs the All Star Game honors and fluff. – (Sabre pokes his fudge-smeared snout out of a corner, blinking slowly)

No replacement starter is to be expected in a trade or some other wicked scheme. We spent almost all our budget already and I’d rather go shopping for 16-year-old Dominican boys, with the international free agent signing period officially beginning on Sunday.

Fun Fact: Former Loggers no-hitters include the one tossed by Michael Foreman on April 13, 2018 against the Crusaders.

That was before his brief and abortive stint with the Raccoons in 2021, a year in which they would not compete. We had signed him to a 2-year deal that February, but with things falling apart sent him back to the Loggers near the deadline. That trade yielded Jarod Spencer as the best among three players, with “best” meaning a barely-replacement level .300 batter, somehow, that would gobble up almost 4,000 plate appearances, somehow.

So while Foreman only ever pitched in 21 games for the Coons, we turned him into 1,001 games of mediocre hitting, and that doesn’t include the 194 games given to the second-best thing in the deal, outfielder Greg Borg, a .218/.276/.300 hitter that never got a gig after his Coons days were over.

+++

*It was not his debut, but that game on Friday surely reminded me of the famous (in Mets lore at least) Matzie game against the Reds during the dire stretches of 2015)! That was fun!