[Westheim]

Trade

Monday was an off day for Portland, except for trading RF Troy Greenway (.200, 8 HR, 28 RBI) to the Wolves, who were convinced they could get something out of him for the 11-something million bucks left on his contract.

The Raccoons received the #14 prospect, 23-year-old LF Sandy Casaus, a right-handed Dominican batter with a short fuse in the box, but good power potential and a knack for base stealing despite average speed. He was also not a future Gold Glover and lacked arm strength.

The Raccoons called up 2034 second-rounder and long-time St. Pete dweller and left-handed batter Bill Balaski, who played corner outfield with meager success. He was hitting .303 with 8 homers in AAA, by far the best he had done down there so far in the many, many seasons he had spent there. He was already 25, so there was nothing to write home about here.

The Coons also put Alberto Ramos on the DL with knee inflammation, rendering him out until early August. He was replaced by 2B Jose Brito, 26 by now, and never hitting anything in various callups. Cosmo would play third base for the next few weeks.

Somewhere in these couple of days, fan interest went down to zero, and Maud called me in New York that Nick Valdes had called in and asked for me 25 times already. I told her that if that ****** didn’t know the team played in New York right now and thus kept calling Portland, it was his ******* problem.

Raccoons (44-50) @ Crusaders (41-50) – July 17-19, 2040

The horror continued in New York, where the Crusaders were already up 6-3 on the Coons, and couldn’t wait to let their second-worst offense getting boosted by the Raccoons’ utter lack of pitching of any kind. New York was fifth from the bottom in runs allowed, like that meant anything with Portland in play.

Projected matchups:
Nelson Moreno (1-4, 4.10 ERA) vs. Gabriel Lara (0-4, 7.38 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (7-6, 3.47 ERA) vs. Julian Ponce (9-8, 3.30 ERA)
Angelo Montano (2-5, 6.23 ERA) vs. Josh Brown (10-5, 3.41 ERA)

Right, left, left.

Game 1
POR: 1B Maldonado – 3B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Morales – CF Hooge – SS Hunter – RF Balaski – 2B Brito – P Moreno
NYC: RF Salek – 3B Sifuentes – C J. Herrera – CF Besaw – LF C. Russell – 2B Duenez – 1B Rudd – SS J. Adams – P G. Lara

I also almost strangled our #8 prospect when he remarked before the game that now so many of his friends from St. Pete were here to have a jolly good time.

Cosmo scored his first two times up, hitting a single ahead of Fernandez’ own single and scoring on Morales’ groundout in the first inning, and being doubled in by Ed Hooge in the third inning for a 2-0 lead behind Moreno, who was already the #2 starter on this team and thus not smart to strangle. He pitched a few decent early innings, then bunted Balaski (walk) and Brito (single) into scoring position, giving himself up for the first out in the fourth. Maldo hit an RBI single, 3-0, and Cosmo smacked a 2-run double past Rich Salek, then scored on a Fernandez single, 6-0. The inning fizzled out after that, but the bold half of me hoped that this would put the game more or less away. Only Mario Duenez had a base hit off Moreno through five, and there was a deep fly by Tom Rudd that Balaski caught at the fence in his debut. And while the contact got a little louder in the later innings, he didn’t give up anything that would overpower the defense or the confines of the ballpark, and no Crusader reached base. The Raccoons also went asleep for a while, but returned in the ninth inning to exploit an error by reliever Luis Villagomez that put Fernandez on base, after which Morales and Hoogey ripped back-to-back doubles. Brito would drive in a run with two outs, everything looked like Moreno would breeze towards a 9-0 shutout and then – thunder, lightning, and the game went into a rain delay of over an hour that was bureaucratically correctly waited out even though the Crusaders were out-hit 14-1 and there was no way they would come back, not even against the hold-my-fudge-bar Raccoons pen… Ryan van Campenhout put two on base, but the Crusaders wouldn’t score. 9-0 Critters. Trevino 3-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Fernandez 2-5, 2B, RBI; Hooge 2-5, 2B, 3 RBI; Brito 4-5, 2B, RBI; Moreno 8.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 4 K, W (2-4);

(barks skywards) I can’t have anything, can I??

Game 2
POR: 1B Maldonado – 3B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – SS Hunter – 2B Brito – CF Kilgallen – RF Daiker – P Sabre
NYC: RF Salek – 3B Sifuentes – C J. Herrera – CF Besaw – 2B Duenez – LF Platero – 1B Stedham – SS J. Adams – P Ponce

Both sides had two hits in the first three innings, with Daiker and Cosmo reaching the corners in the top 3rd but being stranded when Manny Fernandez grounded out. Another scoreless inning followed, with Sabre good, but he had the vibe of impending explosion about him, too. It took a leadoff triple to get something going in the game; Kilgallen hit it in the fifth, and while Daiker popped out (…), Sabre slapped an RBI single to center. The bags then filled up with Maldonado and Trevino, allowing Manny to slap a ball at Duenez for maybe two – except that Cosmo broke Jim Adams in half to break up the double play, too. One run scored, and Chris Russell had to replace Adams, who had landed hard on his shoulder and would be diagnosed with a subluxation after the game. Kilmer then struck out, stranding them on the corners.

Juan Herrera and Joe Besaw hit back-to-back singles in the sixth, but the Crusaders continued to not put it all together. The Critters countered with a string of 2-out singles in the seventh, starting with Sabre (…!) and continuing all the way through Kilmer, who drove in a pair, before Hunter lined out to Salek. Both teams hit two singles in the eighth without scoring, and Sabre squeezed his bum into the ninth inning on an 8-hitter and 92 pitches. With a 4-0 lead, an assortment of relievers was warming up. Duenez grounded out to second. Jose Platero grounded out to third. Jesse Stedham, as ex-Coon obviously, singled. Russell struck out, though, ending the game. 4-0 Furballs. Trevino 4-5; Kilmer 2-5, 2 RBI; Kilgallen 2-4, 3B; Sabre 9.0 IP, 9 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 4 K, W (8-6) and 2-4, RBI;

Sixth career shutout for Sabre, and the first since that Closing day spectacle in ’36.

Game 3
POR: 1B Maldonado – 3B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – CF Kilgallen – 2B Brito – RF Balaski – SS Nickas – P Montano
NYC: 3B Sifuentes – LF C. Russell – SS Salek – CF Besaw – RF Platero – C J. Herrera – 1B Rudd – 2B Duenez – P J. Brown

Montano outlasted Josh Brown – narrowly. The Crusaders’ starter left in the second inning with back problems, while Montano had a scoreless first, then was ravaged for five runs in the bottom 2nd. A Platero single and a Herrera homer was the start, and then they just kept whacking away line drives for the other three runs. Duenez’ double play roller with three on and nobody out in the bottom 3rd got another run home, while the Raccoons stood and marveled. Montano pitched another inning, badly but scorelessly, then was hit for in the fifth after another shambles outing.

The Coons had only three hits against an assortment of pitchers through five innings, then got Maldonado and Trevino on base to begin the sixth against Casey McQueen, but the only countable result was a sac fly by Jeff Kilmer. Ed Hooge plated Brito with a pinch-hit single in the seventh… with two outs and *after* Steve Nickas had smacked a ball into a double play with Brito and Balaski both aboard. And for what? For Joe Besaw to homer off Garavito in the bottom of the inning, keeping the gap at five runs. He also allowed a leadoff single to Mario Duenez in the eighth, and when Campbell replaced him he gave up a double to Ramon Sifuentes right away so Garavito’s run absolutely did score. 8-2 Crusaders. Trevino 2-4; Brito 2-4; Hooge (PH) 1-2, RBI; Pena 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 4 K;

Raccoons (46-51) @ Aces (50-46) – July 20-22, 2040

Next up for the team with a pitching staff in complete disarray were the Aces, who sat fourth in the CL South but only six games out rather than 18 1/2 like some other fourth-place team that should remain unnamed. The Aces were in the bottom three in runs scored, fourth in runs allowed, and actually had a -19 run differential (Coons: -39 and growing with every 21-run whacking). Vegas led the season series, 2-1, and only had one significant injury in infielder Jason Bensinger.

Projected matchups:
Cory Lambert (0-1, 11.25 ERA) vs. Willie Gallardo (7-8, 4.70 ERA)
Sal Lozano (0-1, 3.75 ERA) vs. Israel Mendoza (7-8, 4.35 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (2-4, 3.44 ERA) vs. Oscar Valdes (10-5, 2.36 ERA)

Only right-handers up here; the Aces’ only lefty, Jesus Rodarte (7-8, 3.38 ERA), went on Thursday. The Raccoons dumped Francisco Pena (6.08 ERA) for the Xth time and brought up Sal Lozano for the spot start on Saturday, thus lining up three pitchers that prior to May 26 of this year had represented a grand total of zero major league appearances.

Well you can’t say the numbers are deceiving, at least.

Game 1
POR: 1B Maldonado – 3B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – CF Hooge – SS Hunter – RF Balaski – 2B Brito – P Lambert
LVA: CF Beaudoin – RF Jorgensen – SS O’Keefe – 3B Rossi – LF O. Burgos – 1B J. Byrd – C D. Gomez – 2B D. Richardson – P W. Gallardo

Maldonado opened the series with a jack to right, and the Coons tacked on a run right away with a Kilmer double and Hoogey’s RBI single in the same inning. Ozzie Burgos’ double and Danny Gomez’ single gave the Aces a run off Lambert in the bottom 2nd, but hey, who would have thought a 2-0 lead would last even THAT long? That was about as good as it got with Lambert, though. Chris O’Keefe hit a 2-out double in the bottom 3rd, Nate Rossi came up with a screaming RBI triple, and then Burgos popped out to show mercy unto the Raccoons’ completely inept Plan F pitcher.

For giggles, Lambert then gave himself a new lead in the fourth, when the Raccoons caused their own 2-out stir. Bill Balaski had started his career 0-for-8, but whacked a ball over Justin Beaudoin for a double. Brito got on, and then Lambert zinged a grounder through the left side for an RBI single, 3-2 Critters. Maldonado hit another deep fly to left, but couldn’t beat any between Burgos and the fence, ending the inning. Lambert survived a leadoff walk in the fourth, got another run of support when Hoogey drove in Cosmo in the top 5th, then tacked on a scoreless fifth with some major help from Maldonado, who swiped a dastardly spanked ball by Burgos to starve a runner on second base in the bottom of that inning. Six innings of 2-run ball were all the Raccoons dared ask for, and when Lambert’s spot came up in the seventh with Balaski and Brito aboard and two outs, Oliver Anderson hit for him. Anderson walked, but Maldonado stranded three with a soft fly to right against right-hander Marty Madera, who then went on to get singled to death by the 2-3-4-5 hitter in the eighth. Kilmer and Hooge both drove in a run, 6-2, but left-hander Tony Chavez, who replaced him, was not the solution either. He threw a wild pitch, allowed a sac fly to Hunter, a pinch-hit RBI single with two gone to Kilgallen, and then Maldonado was only retired on his grounder on a fine play by Doug Richardson.

But these wouldn’t be the Coons if they wouldn’t spin a save opportunity from a 6-run lead. Lindstrom and Garavito held up fine enough in relief of Lambert, but van Campenhout, the dismal sucker, did not. He retired one batter out of five he faced in the bottom 9th and was yanked with O’Keefe and Rossi on the bases, two runs already in, and one out in the inning. Brent Clark saved the game by getting pops from Ozzie Burgos and John Byrd. 8-4 Raccoons. Maldonado 2-6, HR, RBI; Trevino 2-4, 2 BB, 2B; Kilmer 2-6, 2B, RBI; Hooge 3-6, 3 RBI; Balaski 2-4, BB, 2B; Brito 2-3, BB, RBI; Kilgallen (PH) 1-1;

Cory Lambert is now a winner in the major leagues.

Baseball will never be the same again.

Game 2
POR: 1B Maldonado – 3B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – 2B Kilgallen – SS Hunter – RF Balaski – CF Daiker – P Lozano
LVA: CF Beaudoin – SS O’Keefe – 1B Levis – C Wiersma – RF Jorgensen – 3B Rossi – LF J. Byrd – 2B D. Richardson – P I. Mendoza

By contrast, Lozano was ravaged for three runs in the first inning on Saturday, allowing two walks, two screaming extra-base hits, and also a balk for good measure as the Aces were picking all the limbs from his body. Lozano then angrily struck out the side in the second before things got a bit more normal going forward, also in the sense that the Raccoons weren’t particularly doing anything for four innings until out of the blue the top of the fifth began with a singles onslaught by the bottom of the order, starting with Balaski. Lozano hit an RBI single to get Portland on the board, 3-1 with the tying runs on the corner. Nate Rossi then mishandled a Maldonado roller for a run-scoring error, and Cosmo shyly singled to load the bases … with nobody out, so the handbrake was applied immediately, with Fernandez flying out to Steve Jorgensen, who threw out Lozano being sent as the tying run, and Kilmer went down on strikes. Monsieurs and Gentlewomen – the Coons.

Portland tied the game in the seventh in unearned fashion, Daiker reaching base on another bad play by Rossi for a second error. This gave the Aces – since Lozano had not allowed a hit after the first inning – as many errors as base hits in the game. Cosmo singled home Daiker with two outs, tying the game at three, but Manny Fernandez grounded out and nothing else happened. So of course when Lozano returned for the bottom 7th the Aces suddenly remembered how to hit; Rossi ripped a double, having to make good. Richardson’s single gave them a 4-3 lead, and the pinch-hit home run to left by Ricardo Zarazua anded Lozano’s day. Portland reacted with their most formidable force – BILL BALASKI. With Kilgallen on base, Balaski crushed a 2-out, 2-run homer off Tony Chavez to cut the gap down to one run! Top 9th, Damon DeOrio retired Hooge in the #9 hole to get going, but then blew the lead with gap doubles to both Maldo and Manny, getting everybody even at six. Kilmer, however, grounded out to leave Fernandez on base, and Chuck Jones got picked apart by John Velazquez, Beaudoin, and Doug Levis for a walkoff loss. 7-6 Aces. Trevino 2-4, RBI; Balaski 3-4, HR, 2 RBI; #

There are two sides to this story. Well, yes, Chuck Jones took the loss and dropped to 5-2 for the year. Calamity. But Doug Levis also strained or pulled or tore or broke something running down to first base, which he reached on all four and screaming, so there were degrees to the misery here.

Game 3
POR: SS Hunter – 3B Trevino – CF Maldonado – C Morales – LF Hooge – 2B Brito – RF Balaski – 1B Anderson – P Moreno
LVA: CF Beaudoin – RF Jorgensen – SS O’Keefe – 3B Rossi – LF O. Burgos – 1B J. Byrd – C D. Gomez – 2B van Brunt – P O. Valdes

Five days after a spiffy fine start in New York, Nelson Moreno had his head caved in early on Sunday, with Beaudoin opening with a jack to left, followed by a Jorgensen triple off the fence in right. That run, too, scored, and the Aces were up 2-0 rather quickly. Balaski then hit a solo shot in the second inning, raising some eyebrows about who that kid actually was. The following frame Cosmo, Maldo, and Hooge loaded the bases against Oscar Valdes, but while Morales had already struck out, both Brito and Balaski popped out over the infield for no great effect. Beaudoin and Jorgensen both reached base again facing Moreno in the bottom 3rd, with the former scoring on a sac fly to extend their lead to 3-1, and in the fourth they found another run between two singles and a throwing error by Tony Morales before Beaudoin flew out to Maldonado in shallow center and Jorgensen popped out over the infield.

Nels lasted six innings, then was hit for when his spot led off the seventh, still down 4-1. Kilgallen struck out in his spot, but Hunter walked, Maldo reached on an error by O’Keefe, and then with two outs against Jerry Hodges, Tony Morales zipped an RBI single past Jeff van Brunt. Hooge grounded out, leaving Moreno on the hook. His loss was then cemented in the eighth inning, in which the Raccoons cycled through Lindstrom, Jones, and the dismal disaster that was van Campenhout, hoping for somebody, anybody, to get an out, somehow – that Anderson made an error on a simple grounder didn’t help either. The Aces strafed the three relievers for four runs (three earned) to put the game away. Kilgallen hit a double and scored on a Trevino grounder in the ninth, which was, fun fact, not enough to make up six runs. 8-3 Aces.

In other news

July 16 – In a stunning development, the Titans plainly give up and trade SP Leonhart Becker (7-4, 3.37 ERA) to the Gold Sox for two prospects, neither of them ranked.
July 16 – WAS C Nate Evans (.313, 8 HR, 59 RBI) will be out until early September with a strained hammy.
July 17 – The hitting streak of Tijuana’s Willie Ojeda (.322, 4 HR, 31 RBI) ends at 23 games with a freezeout, 0-for-4, against the Bayhawks.
July 18 – Salem INF/RF Jose Castro (.235, 6 HR, 47 RBI) is out six weeks with a quad tear.
July 18 – SAC LF/RF Joreao Porfirio (.293, 8 HR, 31 RBI) will be shut down until September due to elbow tendinitis.
July 19 – The Stars pick up 2B/SS Oscar Aguirre (.216, 6 HR, 22 RBI) from the Falcons for 1B/3B Ryan Lorensen (.257, 3 HR, 17 RBI) and #41 prospect SP Eric Jacobson.
July 19 – The Bayhawks acquire C Rey Cedillo (.297, 3 HR, 38 RBI) from the Cyclones, parting with a prospect in the deal.
July 20 – The Indians’ Keith Damron (.262, 2 HR, 3 RBI) clips a pinch-hit single with two outs in the ninth inning, taking a no-hitter away from OCT SP Casey Pinter (8-8, 4.23 ERA), who has to settle for a 1-hit shutout in a 4-0 Thunder win.
July 20 – PIT OF/1B Ivan Cantu (.417, 0 HR, 1 RBI) has his first five hits of the season all in the same game, the 16th major league game of his career, helping to down the Scorpions 16-3 with five singles and one RBI.
July 22 – BOS CF Mark Vermillion (.311, 6 HR; 48 RBI) goes 5-for-5 with 2 RBI in a 13-3 rush of the Condors. The Titans score ten runs in the fifth inning alone.
July 22 – The Knights send SP Danny Orozco (8-9, 5.29 ERA) to the Scorpions for INF/RF Joe Crim (.279, 1 HR, 5 RBI) a prospect.

FL Player of the Week: NAS 3B/2B Jim “Mastodon” Allen (.371, 4 HR, 34 RBI), hitting .500 (11-22) with 11 RBI
CL Player of the Week: POR 2B/3B Enrique Trevino (.285, 0 HR, 28 RBI), batting .519 (14-27) with 4 RBI

Complaints and stuff

No more Sauerkraut no more!? What am I supposed to get riled up about then??

Oh right, we have no pitching, and will never have pitching again. I almost forgot.

Cosmo’s Player of the Week nod was the most subdued, stealthy approach to the title by a Raccoon that I have ever seen. Nobody quite noticed his many singles (only two of his 14 hits went for doubles). Maybe it’s being persistently distracted by a pitching staff being ablaze and dousing themselves with gasoline. Cosmo also has a 14-game hitting streak at the moment, dating back to before the All Star Game. It would be 21 games if not for a futile pinch-hitting assignment against the Loggers on the Fourth of July.

100 games are in the books for this year, which is weird because it feels like we lost 300 already. I will begrudgingly trust the standings posted by the league every day then…

Is Bill Balaski the player that will stop the bleeding and make the offense palatable again? His scouting report says no, but for the time being I’ll take his five-games-in OPS of 1.093 and go to bed with that.

Fun Fact: Nelson Moreno debuted 46 days ago and already has the second-most innings on the staff.

(opens mouth)

(whines)

(rolls into a furry ball)