Today in the CBO
News and Notes - Reports from around the Commonwealth
by Nat Wright-Kawolski
8 October 2298 - Piss in the Cup, Hancocks Still Celebrating
Since the Goodneighbor Hancocks won the Sole Survivor Series just over a week ago, the celebration has continued. Last Saturday, October 1, the settlement of Goodneighbor held a festival and parade. Since then, each member of the team gets to "hold the cup," the championship trophy for 24 hours before the next teammate takes over.
Thursday's cup holder was left fielder Zachary Utsinger. He paraded around Goodneighbor with the cup, ending his night listening to the soothing sounds of Magnolia and throwing his caps to Whitechapel Charlie, who refilled the cup with beer for Utsinger to drink.
Yesterday morning, Utsinger was discovered in an alley asleep with the cup, the cup still filled to the brim with b...check that, piss. Apparently, the drunken Utsinger mistook the cup for the commode and emptied his bladder within.
Burtie Cuttooth, who was next in line to possess, was offered a sip of Utsinger's "beer" but politely declined. Said Cuttooth, "I had a day planned of showing off the trophy to all the pretty girls and continuing the tradition of filling the cup with beer or wine or whatever was the drink of the hour. Instead of filling it up with booze, I had to fill it up with Abraxo. Believe me, I ain't drinking a sip from that cup! Give me my bottles instead. And I ain't carrying a pisspot around, either."
No word yet on who the next cup guzzler will be.
8 October 2298 - UP's Radwater Twice Bitten
University Point pitcher William Radwater met an unfriendly ghoul near the South Boston Military Checkpoint, resulting in bites from the feral ghoul roamer.
A patrol of Brotherhood soldiers were nearby and heard the commotion, separating the roamer from Radwater after he was bitten on his abdomen and arm. Thankfully, for him, the wounds were minor and ghouls are not zombies. However, he did head for Milton General Hospital for treatment to avoid infection. Assuming there are no complications, Radwater should be fine for the 2299 season.
8 October 2298 - NCA Announces Best Glovemen for 2298
"Hit 'em where they ain't" is a great hitting philosophy, but it doesn't always work when a fielder can seemingly appear out of nowhere to make the play. These magicians are often taken for granted as the season grinds along, but today they take center stage. The North Charles Association Top Defenders Award selections for 2298 are:
Pitcher
Chet Arthur (Nordhagen Beach Party Boys)
Catcher
Mike Laughingman (Salem Witch Hats)
First Baseman
Antonio Toeclaw (Salem Witch Hats)
Second Baseman
Brian Masterson (Nordhagen Beach Party Boys)
Third Baseman
Micah Morals (Fort Hagen Silver Shroud)
Shortstop
Lernz Tentsleep (The Slog Ghouls)
Left Fielder
Michael Fogcrawler (Nordhagen Beach Party Boys)
Center Fielder
Millioncap Go (The Slog Ghouls)
Right Fielder
Donny Kowalski (Abernathy Adamantium)
8 October 2298 - 2298 Best Gloves Picked by SCA
They flashed the leather all year and saved countless hits and runs for their teams. The following players are the Top Defenders Award winners for the South Charles Association in 2298:
Pitcher
John Oldsink (Goodneighbor Hancocks)
Catcher
Bill Swenson (Jamaica Plain Red Rockets)
First Baseman
Cody Flatt (Jamaica Plain Red Rockets)
Second Baseman
Jumper Hayes (Goodneighbor Hancocks)
Third Baseman
Allen Bishop (Diamond City Swatters)
Shortstop
Aaron Erickson (Jamaica Plain Red Rockets)
Left Fielder
Chris Van Benschoten (Vault 81 Dwellers)
Center Fielder
Aesed Hayjen (Vault 81 Dwellers)
Right Fielder
Good Don Duck (Goodneighbor Hancocks)